Unit 3 My First Ride on a Train 表达 作文巧升格教材讲解

关于家庭的回忆
本单元的写作项目是关于家庭的回忆，属于家庭叙事类的记叙文。在写作时可以从人物、时间、过程以及结果或感受等方面，对事件进行叙述。可以采用顺叙、倒叙或者插叙的方式。
[基本框架]
1．开头——交代事件的缘由：引起回忆的事物。
2．主体——具体描述事件的经过：回忆的时间、地点、人物、事件、特点等。
3．结尾——该事物引发的新的思考或愿望。好的结尾不仅仅有完美的结局，还能留下令人深省、回味的东西。
[常用词块]
1．clean
up
the
old
clothes清理旧衣服
2．make
up
for
the
lost
time弥补逝去的时光
3．instead
of
making
an
apology
to
her
for
my
words而没有因我的话向她道歉
4．with
time
passing
by
随着时间的流逝
5．be
strict
with
my
brother
and
me
in
study在学习上对我和弟弟严格要求
6．be
proud
of
the
award
I
got
in
the
speech
contest为我在演讲比赛中获奖而感到自豪
7．communicate
with
me
heart
to
heart与我推心置腹地交流了一下
8．book
the
train
ticket
online
in
advance提前在网上预订火车票
9．remind
me
of
the
happy
days
spent
with
my
close
friends
让我想起和好朋友一起度过的快乐日子
10．teach
me
how
to
make
dumplings教我如何包水饺
[常用语句]
精彩开头
1．I
was
doing...when
I
found
an
old
photo/a
card/a
diary...
我在做……时，发现一张旧照片/一张卡片/一本日记……
2．The
lovely
memory
came
flooding
back.
美好的回忆涌上心头。
3．How
time
flies！时光飞逝！
4．I
couldn't
wait
to
share
them
with
you.
我迫不及待地想和你分享。
丰满主体
1．It
was
a
special
day...years
ago.
那是……年前的一个特别的日子。
2．I
decided
to
surprise...
我决定给……一个惊喜。
3．I
was
about
to
throw
everything
back
when
my
mother
came
in.
我正准备把所有东西都扔掉，这时妈妈进来了。
4．When
I．..，my
eyes
watered.
当我……的时候，我的眼睛湿润了。
余味结尾
1．Love
is
indeed
a
magical
ingredient.
爱确实是一种神奇的因素。
2．I
hope
I
will
make...for
her.
我希望我能为她做……
假如你是李华，你在整理书架时偶然看到妈妈曾经为了帮助你摆脱压力而写给你的一堆卡片。这些卡片让你开始了快乐的学习。请你写封电子邮件，把这段美好回忆分享给你的好友Tom。
注意：词数80左右。
[学生习作]
Dear
Tom，
This
weekend
I
was
cleaning
up
my
bookshelf.I
found
a
pile
of
cards.When
I
saw
the
words
on
each
card，I
cried.They
made
me
think
of
something.
The
pressure
was
large
at
the
beginning
of
senior
life.I
was
afraid
of
failing
the
tests.Mum
was
careful.She
found
my
problem.She
put
a
card
on
my
desk
every
morning
to
encourage
me.Gradually，I
became
happy
again
in
my
studies.Mum
told
me
to
work
hard
little
by
little
and
then
succeed.
Yours，
Li
Hua
名师点评：
1．所使用的句子较简单，复杂句式较少；
2．描述事情仅限于过程的罗列，没能充分表达出回忆的内容。
[升格作文]
Dear
Tom，
While
I
was
cleaning
up
my
bookshelf，I
found
a
stack
of
cards.Reading
the
words
on
them
my
eyes
watered.It
was
these
encouraging
cards
that
helped
me
go
through
my
frustration.
I
felt
pressured
at
the
beginning
of
high
school
and
was
afraid
of
falling
behind
others.Soon
Mum
found
my
problem.From
then
on，I
could
find
a
special
card
on
my
desk
every
morning.Gradually，I
became
less
anxious
and
found
pleasure
in
my
studies.Mum
makes
me
understand
that
pressure
can't
be
avoided.What
counts
is
how
to
deal
with
it.
Yours，
Li
Hua
假定你是李华，你在整理书架时看到一张全家照，请写封信并寄出这张照片，把自己的家庭成员
给你的新朋友Tom介绍一下。
注意：词数80左右
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[参考范文]　
Dear
Tom，
This
weeked
I
was
cleaning
up
m
y
bookshell，I
found
a
photograph
of
my
family.
There
are
five
people
in
it.The
tallest
one
is
my
father.He
is
forty?eight
years
old.My
mother
is
standing
beside
him.She
is
not
tall
as
my
father.She
is
three
years
younger
than
my
father.Sitting
in
front
of
them
are
my
grandparents.My
grandfather
is
that
fat
one
with
a
pair
of
glasses.My
grandmother
is
as
fat
as
he.This
little
one
is
me.I'm
sitting
betweet
them.
All
of
us
love
one
another.I
have
a
happy
family.
Yours，
Li
Hua
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