2022年高考英语读后续写布局谋篇技巧学案
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| 名称 | 2022年高考英语读后续写布局谋篇技巧学案 |  | |
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| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2022-03-26 11:08:31 | ||
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2022年高考英语读后续写布局谋篇技巧（新高考专家篇）
第二部分 布局谋篇
[命题专家说考情]
1．记叙文的阅读理解能力
(1)浅层的信息定位能力：when, where, who, what, why, how等
(2)深层的文本分析能力
2．由读到写的思维能力
(1)细读两段续写的开头语，理顺续写段落的逻辑关系；
(2)围绕划定的10个关键词，合理续写故事情节。
3．记叙文的书面表达能力
(1)语言的丰富：词汇、句式、语法的多样性；情感表达的多样性；词汇使用的丰富性。
(2)语篇的连贯性：内容连贯(故事大意一致，写作意图一致)；语句连贯(衔接词的准确使用)；语言连贯(语言风格一致)。
[读后续写评分标准]
1．本题总分为25分，按七个档次进行评分。
2．评分时，应主要从内容、词汇语法和篇章结构三个方面考虑，具体为：
(1)续写内容的质量、完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。
(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性。
(3)上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
3．评分时，应先根据作答的整体情况确定其所属的档次，然后以该档次的要求来综合衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。
4．评分时还应注意：
(1)词数少于120的，酌情扣分；
(2)书写较差以致影响交际的，酌情扣分；
(3)单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方面，评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。
[考生失分原因]
1．词数不够，情节过于肤浅，描写不详细，人物对话不到位。
2．续写内容与文章主旨不符合，故事情节与上文不连贯，没有充分考虑到所给的段落提示句对续写故事发展的提示、衔接、引导和一定程度的限制作用。有的甚至瞎编乱造，不顾及上文各情节之间的逻辑关系。
3．语言基本功欠缺，语法结构错误，词汇贫乏，人称混乱，时态混用。
4．表达内容不丰富，语言能力不强，缺乏可读性。
5．书写不规范，字迹不工整，难识别。
[阅卷人支招]
一、熟读原文，合理续写
培养由读到写的思维能力，所写的内容要和原文在观点、逻辑、结构、用词等方面保持一致。因此，读懂原文很关键。阅读时要具备下面的两个能力：
1．浅层的信息定位能力：知道what, when, where, who, why, how等。
2．深层的文本分析能力：理清故事的发展线索；明确文本的主要矛盾；关注故事的语言风格。只有读懂文章具备了这些能力，才能写出合理的续写。
二、关注4个衔接，逻辑顺畅
1．关注段落内部句与句之间的衔接；
2．关注与续写段落首句之间的衔接；
3．关注两个续写段落之间的衔接；
4．关注上下文之间的前后呼应。
三、牢记6个高分标准
1．故事要围绕主要人物展开。
2．详细刻画人物角色及其情感。
3．有效使用连接成分，结构紧凑。
4．运用丰富的词汇、语法结构和修辞使描写生动。
5．第一段和第二段的内容衔接自然，逻辑合理通顺。
6．续写内容与所给短文融洽度高，语言风格保持一致，思想积极向上。
四、增分的3个手段
1．增加细节
2．营造冲突
3．升格语言
五、避免两个雷区
1．情节设计要符合生活实际和文章逻辑，避免太过离奇。
2．叙述力求精炼、生动、连贯，对话不要太多，书面化的长句不宜太多。
五步写作法流程：
写作步骤
【直击高考一】
[典例] [2020·新高考Ⅰ卷]The Meredith family lived in a small community. As the economy was in decline, some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.
Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems, and they needed all kinds of help. When she had time, she would bring food and medicine to them.
One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before. There was a man sick in bed, his wife, who took care of him and could not go out to work, and their little boy. The little boy—his name was Bernard—had interested her very much.
“I wish you could see him，” she said to her own children, John, Harry, and Clara. “He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money, but I don't see what he can do.”
After their mother left the room, the children sat thinking about Bernard. “I wish we could help him to earn money，” said Clara. “His family is suffering so much.”
“So do I，” said Harry. “We really should do something to assist them.”
For some moments, John said nothing, but, suddenly, he sprang to his feet and cried, “I have a great idea! I have a solution that we can all help accomplish (完成)．”
The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea, it was sure to be a good one. “I tell you what we can do，” said John. “You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us Well, we can make popcorn (爆米花), and put it into paper bags, and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式作答。
When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea, she thought it was a good one, too.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business._____________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________
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第一步：浏览所给信息，确定大意主题
who Mrs. Meredith, John, Harry, and Clara, Bernard
what The Meredith family helped Bernard earn money.
where a small community
when As the economy was in decline
why Bernard's father was sick.
文章大意 Mrs. Meredith and her three children found a good way to help poor Bernard earn money.
表达主题 Love and Kindness
第二步：梳理已知段落，确定主要情节
关注两条主线：
1．plot(明线)：即谁做了什么，为什么，可以从文中获取。
plot 发展：Meredith一家人乐于助人，而Bernard一家人需要帮助，而两家人产生交集，交汇点则是孩子们的互动：即Meredith家的三个孩子积极思考，想出了帮助Bernard挣钱的方法——卖爆米花。
2．feelings(暗线)：即谁感觉如何，需要进行合理的推测。
第三步：借助段落开头，确定续写内容
研读续写段 落的开头语 Para.1 When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea, she thought it was a good one, too. (切入点) Mrs. Meredith赞同约翰的“好主意” 1．What did Mrs. Meredith encourage her children after she heard the good idea 2．How did the children and Bernard do exactly？
Para.2 With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business. (切入点)一切准备好之后，结果会如何呢？
1.How did poor Bernard sell the popcorn 2．Did poor Bernard earn money in the end？
续写内容 Para.1 约翰和其他孩子们是具体如何做的。
Para.2 Bernard如何具体去卖爆米花的。
第四步：刻画细节冲突，优美连贯表达
描绘孩子们忙于做爆米花的细节；Bernard卖光爆米花的开心愉悦的心情描写。情节描述合情合理，衔接自然，生动有趣。
第五步：做到首尾呼应，结构完整合理
文章开头点明主意很好，结尾应围绕着约翰的“好主意”展开，因此结尾“All of this was because of John's bright idea.”做到首尾呼应，情节合理，描述得当。
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范文赏析：
When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea, she thought it was a good one, too. Very soon, the children learnt how to pop the corn and then were busy in doing this “big” thing. At the same time, their mother went out to buy the paper bags that they needed. When she came back, she brought with her Bernard. Bernard felt grateful to all of them for what they had done for him.
With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business. Much sooner than could be expected, he returned with an empty basket and so much money that he had never seen before. He was so delighted that he could hardly speak, but his bright smiling face spoke for him. For many weeks, every Saturday, the three children would prepare popcorn for Bernard to sell. This little boy therefore could help support his family. All of this was because of John's bright idea.
【直击高考二】
One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom , had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom, “I'm going to find a better spot for us to camp” and walked away.
With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.
“Tom！” she cried. “Help！”
No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him.
Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake.
As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter. Is that for me Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again.
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式作答。
But no more helicopters came and it was dark.
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It was daybreak when Jane woke up.
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文本解读：
本题来自浙江省高考读后续写真题。故事讲述了Jane和丈夫Tom一起驱车去森林露营，在其间发生争吵，Jane独自走进森林里迷路的经历。
在完成读后续写考题时，考生首先要把控好文章大意和篇章结构。要想统领篇章大意，可以通过对故事六要素(who、 what、when、 where、 why、how)的分析的方式快速缕清故事情节把握故事发展脉络。这里我们通常在考场上可以再读一遍阅读审题过程中寻找出这些关键信息：
Who: Jane; Tom
What: Jane and Tom started to quarrel and Jane walked away from the camp site.
When: one weekend in July
Where: a camp site by a lake in the forest
读完后，学生可以发现why&how即是需要续写的内容。
在对故事进一步梳理时，我们可以通过时间线，故事线和情感线三个方面更好地把握故事脉络：
时间线：one weekend in July→by the time they reached the camp site by the lake→as night was beginning to fall→at the break of day→as she picked her way carefully along the stream→it was dark→it was daybreak通过分析时间我们发现，这个故事是贯穿了一整个周末，到续写第二段时，已经是Jane独自在森林里的第二天了，这两天里Jane做了很多事，也有很多感触。这些事和感触我们就要去分析下面的故事线和情感线。
故事线：Jane and Tom drove to came→a quarrel broke out→Jane walked away→Jane got lost→Jane stayed overnight in the forest→Jane drank and ate a few berries.→Jane found the helicopter→Jane took off the yellow blouse→Jane waited for the helicopter→……通过分析故事线，发现直升机(helicopter)和黄上衣(yellow blouse)是故事发展的两个重要环节。很可能是helicopter把Jane从森林里营救出来。为什么helicopter可以发现Jane呢？那很有可能就是Jane找到了一个空地，朝天空挥舞yellow blouse，引起了驾驶员的注意。
情感线：文章主要描述了Jane的情感变化angry→terrified→regretful→hopeful→…在这一过程中，Jane虽然遇到了困难，迷失在森林中，但是，Jane的情感波动整体上应该是朝着积极的方面发展的。根据第一段句首可知，Jane还要在森林里度过一夜，但是由于白天看到了helicopter，所以Jane内心燃起了希望，独自在森林的第二夜应该更加从容也更加充满希望。第二段Jane在被救后，不仅会心生感激，同时，也会更加珍惜同Tom的情感。
写作思路：明确意图，谋局成篇
写作思路的编排必须遵循文本发展的时间线、故事线和情感线。首先我们要明确故事的情节线，然后再考虑情感的铺垫。同时，一个完整叙述的开始要有指向性，接着是进展，然后是结局，最后是回应，如果有需要，可以在故事结尾处进行合情合理并且简要的议论和升华。
思路：
Jane又在森林里度过了一个夜晚，她利用火柴点燃树枝来取暖，疲惫中不知不觉睡过去。第二天，Jane一路沿着小溪，回到前一天找到的空地，耐心等待直升机的再次到来。当听到直升机飞行时发出的轰隆声时，Jane立刻朝空中不停挥舞自己的黄色上衣，终于直升机发现了Jane，当直升机停下来后，Tom从里面走出来，夫妻团聚。
语言积累：
1．much to one's regret; to one's great regret; in deep regret; be seized with remorse
2．Had she not walked away from the camp site, she would have been with Tom, enjoying her precious weekends.
3．She uttered a cry of regret, “I'm so silly.”
4．Feeling scared, Jane sat beside a tree and held her shoulders in her arms tightly to make herself calm.
5．Jane was deeply moved by what Tom had done, and tears rolled down without control.
6．Having a deep breath, Jane made her way bravely, concentrating all efforts on walking down the stream.
7．Feeling refreshed, she continued to walk along the stream to find the way out.
8．The minute they met, they hugged together firmly as if they would never separate again.
范文赏析：
But no more helicopters came and it was dark. “I shouldn't have left Tom.” thought Jane. Although Jane extremely missed her husband, she had to stay alone for another night. After walking a long distance, she eventually reached an open area. Suddenly, it occurred to her that she had a box of matches with her. She was wild with joy and used them to build a fire to get some warmth. Staring at the flame, Jane thought of all the things that she and Tom had experienced together. Feeling exhausted, she fell asleep.
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. The sun shone lightly, bringing warmth and hope to the world. Jane Stayed at the open area patiently, hope the helicopter would come again to rescue her. After what seemed like ages, the exciting noise from the helicopter engine came in the distance. Jane took off her yellow blouse and flagged it wildly. Eventually, the helicopter noticed her and slowly landed at the open air. Much to her surprise, it was her husband, Tom, that got out of the helicopter. Surprised and overjoyed, Jane held him tightly and told him how much she loved him. At that moment, the mountain was filled with love.
第二部分 布局谋篇
[命题专家说考情]
1．记叙文的阅读理解能力
(1)浅层的信息定位能力：when, where, who, what, why, how等
(2)深层的文本分析能力
2．由读到写的思维能力
(1)细读两段续写的开头语，理顺续写段落的逻辑关系；
(2)围绕划定的10个关键词，合理续写故事情节。
3．记叙文的书面表达能力
(1)语言的丰富：词汇、句式、语法的多样性；情感表达的多样性；词汇使用的丰富性。
(2)语篇的连贯性：内容连贯(故事大意一致，写作意图一致)；语句连贯(衔接词的准确使用)；语言连贯(语言风格一致)。
[读后续写评分标准]
1．本题总分为25分，按七个档次进行评分。
2．评分时，应主要从内容、词汇语法和篇章结构三个方面考虑，具体为：
(1)续写内容的质量、完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。
(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性。
(3)上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
3．评分时，应先根据作答的整体情况确定其所属的档次，然后以该档次的要求来综合衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。
4．评分时还应注意：
(1)词数少于120的，酌情扣分；
(2)书写较差以致影响交际的，酌情扣分；
(3)单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方面，评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。
[考生失分原因]
1．词数不够，情节过于肤浅，描写不详细，人物对话不到位。
2．续写内容与文章主旨不符合，故事情节与上文不连贯，没有充分考虑到所给的段落提示句对续写故事发展的提示、衔接、引导和一定程度的限制作用。有的甚至瞎编乱造，不顾及上文各情节之间的逻辑关系。
3．语言基本功欠缺，语法结构错误，词汇贫乏，人称混乱，时态混用。
4．表达内容不丰富，语言能力不强，缺乏可读性。
5．书写不规范，字迹不工整，难识别。
[阅卷人支招]
一、熟读原文，合理续写
培养由读到写的思维能力，所写的内容要和原文在观点、逻辑、结构、用词等方面保持一致。因此，读懂原文很关键。阅读时要具备下面的两个能力：
1．浅层的信息定位能力：知道what, when, where, who, why, how等。
2．深层的文本分析能力：理清故事的发展线索；明确文本的主要矛盾；关注故事的语言风格。只有读懂文章具备了这些能力，才能写出合理的续写。
二、关注4个衔接，逻辑顺畅
1．关注段落内部句与句之间的衔接；
2．关注与续写段落首句之间的衔接；
3．关注两个续写段落之间的衔接；
4．关注上下文之间的前后呼应。
三、牢记6个高分标准
1．故事要围绕主要人物展开。
2．详细刻画人物角色及其情感。
3．有效使用连接成分，结构紧凑。
4．运用丰富的词汇、语法结构和修辞使描写生动。
5．第一段和第二段的内容衔接自然，逻辑合理通顺。
6．续写内容与所给短文融洽度高，语言风格保持一致，思想积极向上。
四、增分的3个手段
1．增加细节
2．营造冲突
3．升格语言
五、避免两个雷区
1．情节设计要符合生活实际和文章逻辑，避免太过离奇。
2．叙述力求精炼、生动、连贯，对话不要太多，书面化的长句不宜太多。
五步写作法流程：
写作步骤
【直击高考一】
[典例] [2020·新高考Ⅰ卷]The Meredith family lived in a small community. As the economy was in decline, some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.
Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems, and they needed all kinds of help. When she had time, she would bring food and medicine to them.
One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before. There was a man sick in bed, his wife, who took care of him and could not go out to work, and their little boy. The little boy—his name was Bernard—had interested her very much.
“I wish you could see him，” she said to her own children, John, Harry, and Clara. “He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money, but I don't see what he can do.”
After their mother left the room, the children sat thinking about Bernard. “I wish we could help him to earn money，” said Clara. “His family is suffering so much.”
“So do I，” said Harry. “We really should do something to assist them.”
For some moments, John said nothing, but, suddenly, he sprang to his feet and cried, “I have a great idea! I have a solution that we can all help accomplish (完成)．”
The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea, it was sure to be a good one. “I tell you what we can do，” said John. “You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us Well, we can make popcorn (爆米花), and put it into paper bags, and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式作答。
When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea, she thought it was a good one, too.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business._____________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________
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第一步：浏览所给信息，确定大意主题
who Mrs. Meredith, John, Harry, and Clara, Bernard
what The Meredith family helped Bernard earn money.
where a small community
when As the economy was in decline
why Bernard's father was sick.
文章大意 Mrs. Meredith and her three children found a good way to help poor Bernard earn money.
表达主题 Love and Kindness
第二步：梳理已知段落，确定主要情节
关注两条主线：
1．plot(明线)：即谁做了什么，为什么，可以从文中获取。
plot 发展：Meredith一家人乐于助人，而Bernard一家人需要帮助，而两家人产生交集，交汇点则是孩子们的互动：即Meredith家的三个孩子积极思考，想出了帮助Bernard挣钱的方法——卖爆米花。
2．feelings(暗线)：即谁感觉如何，需要进行合理的推测。
第三步：借助段落开头，确定续写内容
研读续写段 落的开头语 Para.1 When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea, she thought it was a good one, too. (切入点) Mrs. Meredith赞同约翰的“好主意” 1．What did Mrs. Meredith encourage her children after she heard the good idea 2．How did the children and Bernard do exactly？
Para.2 With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business. (切入点)一切准备好之后，结果会如何呢？
1.How did poor Bernard sell the popcorn 2．Did poor Bernard earn money in the end？
续写内容 Para.1 约翰和其他孩子们是具体如何做的。
Para.2 Bernard如何具体去卖爆米花的。
第四步：刻画细节冲突，优美连贯表达
描绘孩子们忙于做爆米花的细节；Bernard卖光爆米花的开心愉悦的心情描写。情节描述合情合理，衔接自然，生动有趣。
第五步：做到首尾呼应，结构完整合理
文章开头点明主意很好，结尾应围绕着约翰的“好主意”展开，因此结尾“All of this was because of John's bright idea.”做到首尾呼应，情节合理，描述得当。
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范文赏析：
When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea, she thought it was a good one, too. Very soon, the children learnt how to pop the corn and then were busy in doing this “big” thing. At the same time, their mother went out to buy the paper bags that they needed. When she came back, she brought with her Bernard. Bernard felt grateful to all of them for what they had done for him.
With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business. Much sooner than could be expected, he returned with an empty basket and so much money that he had never seen before. He was so delighted that he could hardly speak, but his bright smiling face spoke for him. For many weeks, every Saturday, the three children would prepare popcorn for Bernard to sell. This little boy therefore could help support his family. All of this was because of John's bright idea.
【直击高考二】
One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom , had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom, “I'm going to find a better spot for us to camp” and walked away.
With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.
“Tom！” she cried. “Help！”
No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him.
Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake.
As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter. Is that for me Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again.
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式作答。
But no more helicopters came and it was dark.
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It was daybreak when Jane woke up.
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文本解读：
本题来自浙江省高考读后续写真题。故事讲述了Jane和丈夫Tom一起驱车去森林露营，在其间发生争吵，Jane独自走进森林里迷路的经历。
在完成读后续写考题时，考生首先要把控好文章大意和篇章结构。要想统领篇章大意，可以通过对故事六要素(who、 what、when、 where、 why、how)的分析的方式快速缕清故事情节把握故事发展脉络。这里我们通常在考场上可以再读一遍阅读审题过程中寻找出这些关键信息：
Who: Jane; Tom
What: Jane and Tom started to quarrel and Jane walked away from the camp site.
When: one weekend in July
Where: a camp site by a lake in the forest
读完后，学生可以发现why&how即是需要续写的内容。
在对故事进一步梳理时，我们可以通过时间线，故事线和情感线三个方面更好地把握故事脉络：
时间线：one weekend in July→by the time they reached the camp site by the lake→as night was beginning to fall→at the break of day→as she picked her way carefully along the stream→it was dark→it was daybreak通过分析时间我们发现，这个故事是贯穿了一整个周末，到续写第二段时，已经是Jane独自在森林里的第二天了，这两天里Jane做了很多事，也有很多感触。这些事和感触我们就要去分析下面的故事线和情感线。
故事线：Jane and Tom drove to came→a quarrel broke out→Jane walked away→Jane got lost→Jane stayed overnight in the forest→Jane drank and ate a few berries.→Jane found the helicopter→Jane took off the yellow blouse→Jane waited for the helicopter→……通过分析故事线，发现直升机(helicopter)和黄上衣(yellow blouse)是故事发展的两个重要环节。很可能是helicopter把Jane从森林里营救出来。为什么helicopter可以发现Jane呢？那很有可能就是Jane找到了一个空地，朝天空挥舞yellow blouse，引起了驾驶员的注意。
情感线：文章主要描述了Jane的情感变化angry→terrified→regretful→hopeful→…在这一过程中，Jane虽然遇到了困难，迷失在森林中，但是，Jane的情感波动整体上应该是朝着积极的方面发展的。根据第一段句首可知，Jane还要在森林里度过一夜，但是由于白天看到了helicopter，所以Jane内心燃起了希望，独自在森林的第二夜应该更加从容也更加充满希望。第二段Jane在被救后，不仅会心生感激，同时，也会更加珍惜同Tom的情感。
写作思路：明确意图，谋局成篇
写作思路的编排必须遵循文本发展的时间线、故事线和情感线。首先我们要明确故事的情节线，然后再考虑情感的铺垫。同时，一个完整叙述的开始要有指向性，接着是进展，然后是结局，最后是回应，如果有需要，可以在故事结尾处进行合情合理并且简要的议论和升华。
思路：
Jane又在森林里度过了一个夜晚，她利用火柴点燃树枝来取暖，疲惫中不知不觉睡过去。第二天，Jane一路沿着小溪，回到前一天找到的空地，耐心等待直升机的再次到来。当听到直升机飞行时发出的轰隆声时，Jane立刻朝空中不停挥舞自己的黄色上衣，终于直升机发现了Jane，当直升机停下来后，Tom从里面走出来，夫妻团聚。
语言积累：
1．much to one's regret; to one's great regret; in deep regret; be seized with remorse
2．Had she not walked away from the camp site, she would have been with Tom, enjoying her precious weekends.
3．She uttered a cry of regret, “I'm so silly.”
4．Feeling scared, Jane sat beside a tree and held her shoulders in her arms tightly to make herself calm.
5．Jane was deeply moved by what Tom had done, and tears rolled down without control.
6．Having a deep breath, Jane made her way bravely, concentrating all efforts on walking down the stream.
7．Feeling refreshed, she continued to walk along the stream to find the way out.
8．The minute they met, they hugged together firmly as if they would never separate again.
范文赏析：
But no more helicopters came and it was dark. “I shouldn't have left Tom.” thought Jane. Although Jane extremely missed her husband, she had to stay alone for another night. After walking a long distance, she eventually reached an open area. Suddenly, it occurred to her that she had a box of matches with her. She was wild with joy and used them to build a fire to get some warmth. Staring at the flame, Jane thought of all the things that she and Tom had experienced together. Feeling exhausted, she fell asleep.
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. The sun shone lightly, bringing warmth and hope to the world. Jane Stayed at the open area patiently, hope the helicopter would come again to rescue her. After what seemed like ages, the exciting noise from the helicopter engine came in the distance. Jane took off her yellow blouse and flagged it wildly. Eventually, the helicopter noticed her and slowly landed at the open air. Much to her surprise, it was her husband, Tom, that got out of the helicopter. Surprised and overjoyed, Jane held him tightly and told him how much she loved him. At that moment, the mountain was filled with love.