(共23张PPT)
Continuation writing
I got my head stuck in a pumpkin !
2021年1月浙江英语高考读后续写 写作指导
Lead-in
Watch a short video.
Pumpkin (南瓜) carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin. My dad has a rule that we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage — I carried an 85-pounder back last year.
This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides, but I was determined to prove my point. All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event. I’m unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.
With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole uppermost, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry. Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.
My excitement was short-lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I’m going to set it down, now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straightforward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space.
Para 1：I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.______________________
Para 2：That video was posted the Monday before Halloween.____________________________
2021年1月高考续写 阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
读后续写过程中存在的问题：
1. 续写内容与所给短文在叙述意图上不一致
2. 续写内容与所给短文在相关细节上相矛盾
3. 续写内容与所给短文在语篇结构上不连贯
4. 续写内容与所给短文在语言风格上不一致
5. 续写内容对事实叙述太多，缺乏细节描写
6. 卷面不够整洁美观，语法、拼写错误较多
衔接不合理
高考读后续写评分细则
是否与所给短文故事情节衔接
是否与段落开头语衔接
词汇的准确性和丰富性
语法结构和句式多样化
What/ How
When/ Where
Who
Why
Exploring the story
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Know the main characters
Dad: making it a rule to bring home the biggest pumpkin at Halloween
I: the eldest child; carrying a 85-pound pumpkin back last year; unwilling to quit
Jason: my 14-year-old brother
Mom: filming the annual event
Other brothers and sister
Tense : ________________
Simple past tense
Narrator
叙事者
“ I ”
“first person” perspective
第一人称视角
Pumpkin (南瓜) carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin(找出最大的南瓜). My dad has a rule that(有一条规定) we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage(有优势) — I carried an 85-pounder back last year.
This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides(取出瓜瓤前称重), but I was determined to prove my point(证明我的观点). All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event(拍摄年度活动). I’m unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.(我现在不知道为什么我认为把我的头塞进南瓜里就能解决问题，但这在当时似乎很有意义。)
With the pumpkin resting on the table(放在桌上), hole uppermost(开口朝上), I bent over and pressed my head against the opening(把我的头压在开口上). At first I got jammed(卡住) just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry(我的鼻子暂时阻止了我的进入). Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders(站直，把大南瓜搁在我肩膀上).
My excitement was short-lived(短暂的). The pumpkin was heavy. “I’m going to set it down(放下), now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest(找个位置放下). It was only when I tried to remove my head(挪出脑袋) that I realized getting out was going to be less straightforward than getting in(不会像进去那样直截了当). When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way(挡住). I got into a panic(陷入恐慌) as I pressed firmly against the table(紧紧按住桌子) and moved my head around trying to find the right angle(转来转去，想找到合适的角度), but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space(我的声音在这封闭空间里听起来很不自然地响).
Read for the theme and the conflict(s)
Beginning/Exposition
(情节交代)
Rising action
(conflict激化)
Climax(conflict最大化/
turning point转折点)
Falling action
(conflict缓延)
Resolution(conflict解开)
Ending(结尾点题)
To prove that the winner was Me not Jason, I managed to put my head into my pumpkin excitedly, with my mom filming.
Because of Dad's rule, we competed to seek out the biggest pumpkins and carried them by ourselves.
Para1：It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer.
Para 2：The video was posted the Monday before Halloween.
Theme: family love, youth
Conflict: Who was the winner (次要矛盾)
I got my head stuck in the pumpkin. How to get out Who helps （主要矛盾）
Unexpectedly, I got my head stuck in the pumpkin. I attempted several times to get out, but in vain and got into a panic.
Remember to solve the main conflict.
Analyze the 2 given sentences and work out how to make
your writing match the two given sentences.
Which version is better connected
We had no idea where we were and it got dark.(2018浙江高考)
1. We had no idea where we were and it got dark. We were totally at a loss what to do next and unable to contain my emotion, I burst out crying...
2. We had no idea where we were and it got dark. The lovely trees and plants around us turned into a horrible scene and the howling of wolves faintly echoed in the forest.
3. We had no idea where we were and it got dark.“Sorry, my son. As a dad,
I should have predicted what would happen. It was me that was to blame for our situation." Dad said to me with tears blinding his eyes...
Which version is better connected
2. We had no idea where we were and it got dark. The lovely trees and plants around us turned into a horrible scene and the howling of wolves faintly echoed in the forest.
words or phrases referring to
write clearly what’s sth
general description(adj./n)
use specific description
What was the netizen's response to the video
Analyze the 2 given sentences and work out how to connect them properly.
What does it here refer to What was my feeling
How did the video come into being Who made it
● words or phrases referring to sth
√ write clearly what the given sentences refer to
Brainstorm useful expressions
承上启下句的衔接
[第1段承上句]
eg1: Trapped in the pumpkin, I was seized by a strong sense of anxiety. I was so frightened that I felt like a cat on a hot brick.（非谓语作状语+比喻）
eg2: I was occupied/ovewhelmed by a strong feeling of regret and annoyance , while my brothers and sister burst into laughter.（对比）
eg3: Quite frightened and anxious, I was like a cat on a hot brick, my palms sweating and my heart racing fast.（形容词作状语+独立主格结构）
To show, not to tell !
[第1段启下句]
eg1: Hardly had I relaxed a bit to be freed from the pumpkin when I found that mom was shooting all that had happened to me .（倒装+时间状语从句）
eg2: My head was finally released/liberated and it was then that I realized my mom had been filming the whole event.（强调句）
eg3: I lifted my dizzy head, scanned the room and saw three faces controlled by laughter and mum was holding the camera, which, unfortunately, had recorded everything.（三连动+ 定语从句）
Brainstorm useful expressions
To show, not to tell !
Brainstorm useful expressions
To show, not to tell !
点题收尾句
eg1:叙事式 I went around my community with my friends, trick-or-treating with my head in another pumpkin that mom and dad had found for me. This time, I made sure to cut a big enough hole.
eg2:感悟式 Though feeling a bit embarrassed, I sensed a strong family happiness -- a family surrounded by love and fun.
eg3:感悟式 What an unforgettable experience! I will never forget it because
it has brought so much happiness and fun to the people on the Internet.
eg4:感悟+叙事 Bathed in the festive atmosphere, I totally forgot the “unforgettable” incident and set out for the trick-or-treat.
How did I feel at that moment panic, regretful，shameful
My brother’ or family's feeling reactions worried, funny
Who helped me
How to help
What was the result (conflict )
My reaction, finding (video)
action
Analyze the first given sentence and predict what happened .
What were people's response to the video
How did I feel
What lesson did I learn from this experience (theme)
编情节：契诃夫原则
任务清单 评价表 组别 任务 评价维度 评价项目
创意重新写作组 根据首句再写 第一段 思维 1. 是否有逻辑性？
2. 是否有创新性？
根据提示写作组 根据汉语提示 再写第一段 内容 1. 描写是否准确？
2. 表达是否丰富？
语言鉴赏组 赏析范文的 语言特点 语言 1. 使用了哪些动作描写？
2. 使用了哪些心理描写？
3. 前后衔接是否合理？
Practice makes perfect.
It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer. Quite frightened and anxious, I was like a cat on a hot brick, my palms sweating and my heart racing fast. Hearing that my brother was teasing me, I shouted in a loud voice, “Stop doing that. Please help me!" All of a sudden, it occurred to mom that they could cut the pumpkin into two pieces. Then under the guidance of mom. my father fetched a knife, carefully cutting the pumpkin open. After a long struggle, I eventually caught sight of a bright light, breathing a sigh of relief. To my astonishment, my mom was filming the whole process, a sense of embarrassment welling up in my mind.
Appreciation: feelings,actions ——情感表达的多样性，动作的丰富性
Tips: 用不同类别的词来表达情感
用丰富的动词来描述动作行为
To show, not to tell !
It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer. Quite frightened and anxious, I was like a cat on a hot brick, my palms sweating and my heart racing fast. Hearing that my brother was teasing me, I shouted in a loud voice, “Stop doing that. Please help me!" All of a sudden, it occurred to mom that they could cut the pumpkin into two pieces. Then under the guidance of mom. my father fetched a knife, carefully cutting the pumpkin open. After a long struggle, I eventually caught sight of a bright light, breathing a sigh of relief. To my astonishment, my mom was filming the whole process, a sense of embarrassment welling up in my mind.
It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer. Trapped in the pumpkin, I was seized by a strong sense of anxiety. I was so frightened that I pulled the pumpkin crazily. Sensing my anxiety, Dad patted me on the shoulder to offer comfort. Meanwhile, I could hear my sister’s laughter and Jason’s deep voice talking about cutting the giant thing open. After a short while, I felt that the pumpkin was being cut by a knife. Eventually my head was released. I let out a sigh of relief. It was then that I realized that my mom had been filming the whole awkward scene.
Another version
Later, in the dark, after the movie had started, I heard Hassan next to me, sobbing. Tears were sliding down her checks. I reached across my seat, threw my arm around her, pulled her close.
用丰富的动词来描述动作行为
She held on to the gift cautiously and felt like walking on air. She hoped her mother would be surprised to see the gift. But she was afraid, too. Afraid that her mother would not like the gift.
用不同类别的词来表达情感
Appreciation: more examples
To show, not to tell !
1. Rewrite the second paragraph according to
what we have learnt.
2. Evaluate your writing each other.
Homework
Have a nice day !
THANK YOU!
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（教学提纲）高考英语读后续写获奖课件（免费下载）2021年1月浙江高考读后续写 讲评学案
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
Pumpkin (南瓜) carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin(找出最大的南瓜). My dad has a rule that(有一条规定) we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage(有优势)----- I carried an 85-pounder back last year.
This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides(取出瓜瓤前称重), but I was determined to prove my point(证明我的观点). All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event(拍摄年度活动). I’m unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.(我现在不知道为什么我认为把我的头塞进南瓜里就能解决问题，但这在当时似乎很有意义。)
With the pumpkin resting on the table(放在桌上), hole uppermost(开口朝上), I bent over and pressed my head against the opening(把我的头压在开口上). At first I got jammed(卡住) just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry(我的鼻子暂时阻止了我的进入). Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders(站直，把大南瓜搁在我肩膀上).
My excitement was short-lived(短暂的). The pumpkin was heavy. “I’m going to set it down(放下), now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest(找个位置放下). It was only when I tried to remove my head(挪出脑袋) that I realized getting out was going to be less straightforward than getting in(不会像进去那样直截了当). When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way(挡住). I got into a panic(陷入恐慌) as I pressed firmly against the table(紧紧按住桌子) and moved my head around trying to find the right angle(转来转去，想找到合适的角度), but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space(我的声音在这封闭空间里听起来很不自然地响).
注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。
Para 1：I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.___________________
Para 2：That video was posted the Monday before Halloween.________________________
Analyze the 2 given sentences and predict the ending by raising questions.
Brainstorm useful expressions. ( To show, not to tell ! )
承上启下句的衔接
[第1段承上句]
eg1: _____________ in the pumpkin, I was ________ by an overwhelming sense of __________. I was so ____________ that I felt like a cat on a hot brick.
[第1段启下句]
Homework:
Rewrite the second paragraph according to what you have learned.
[第2段承上句]
[第2段点题收尾句]
小组分工卡片一（写作2组）
根据汉语提示完成本段写作，注意句与句之间的衔接，词汇的准确性和丰富性。
It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer（心理描写：煎熬）
如何把头从南瓜中弄出来的过程：
1.（头被卡在南瓜里，）我紧张、不安、焦虑；
2. 弟弟取笑我，我很生气，让他们快来帮我；
3. 突然妈妈想到了办法；
4. 爸爸拿来了小刀，把南瓜切开（爸爸实施）；
5. 我终于出来了，松了口气，发现妈妈正在拍视频。
小组分工卡片二（语言鉴赏组）
How do you think of the following paragraph （connection, action description, psychological description---衔接、动作描写、心理描写）
It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer. Quite frightened and anxious, I was like a cat on a hot brick, my palms sweating and my heart racing fast. Hearing that my brother was teasing me, I shouted in a loud voice, “Stop doing that. Please help me!" All of a sudden, it occurred to mom that they could cut the pumpkin into two pieces. Then under the guidance of mom, my father fetched a knife, carefully cutting the pumpkin open. After a long struggle, I eventually caught sight of a bright light, breathing a sigh of relief. To my astonishment, my mom was filming the whole process, a sense of embarrassment welling up in my mind.
