(共12张PPT)
How to beautify your writing
八下M1-M2 activities & feelings
In this lesson, you should be able to:
1.know better about Ouhai’s culture(文化)
2.learn how to beautify(美化)your writing
3.apply(应用) what you learn to the writing
(改编自2021宁波中考卷)假如你是李华，上周末你参加了瓯海区举行的“探索人文瓯海”主题活动(theme event)，请你根据以下提供的信息结合你参加这个主题活动的经历，写一篇英语短文向你校英语报投稿。注意：
（1）短文必须包括表格里所有要点，并适当发挥；
（2）词数 80-100;标题和开头已给出， 不计入总词数。
Explore Ouhai’s culture
Last weekend, Ouhai held an event with the theme of “Explore Ouhai’s culture” for people ________________________
____________________________________________________
1.purpose(目的):experience beauty and culture of Ouhai
2.activities(活动): visit Sanyang Wetland, make paper in Zeya,...
3.my experience...
4.my feeling...
5.my hope...
Explore Ouhai’s
culture
Last weekend, Ouhai held an event with the theme of “Explore Ouhai’s culture”for people to experience beauty and culture of Ouhai.
During the event, we had many activities.Some people visited Sanyang Wetland.Some people made paper in Zeya.Some people climbed Daluo Mountain. I went to Sanyang Wetland. I wanted to enjoy fresh air and see many flowers. And I went boating along Tanghe River. I was happy to see the beautiful sights along the river.
I like this event very much. I love my hometown. Our hometown will be better.(75词)
浙江省毕业升学考试书面表达评分标准
采分点 满分 可给分值
1、内容充实，覆盖要点（内容、要点） 7 6-7描述了所有要点，内容合理、丰富
3-5描述了大部分信息，内容比较合理
1-2描述了小部分信息，内容不合理
0 没有作答或描述内容与主题不关
2、用词适切，语法正确，句型多样（词汇、语法、句型） 7 6-7用词适切，句型变化多样且有效，完全或基本没有语言错误
3-5用词基本适切，句型比较单一，有少量语言错误但不影响理解
1-2有较多语言错误，一定程度上影响理解
0 有大量语言错误，影响了理解
3、结构紧凑，意思连贯（语意、连词、指代） 4 3-4行文连贯，连接词使用恰当，指代清晰
1-2行文不够连贯，连接词使用不够恰当，指代不够清晰
0 没有连贯的意识
4、书写规范，词数适宜（标点符号、大小写、词数） 2 2大小写、标点正确，词数达标，书写规范整洁
1大小写、标点有部分错误，词数达标，书写尚可辨认
0大小写、标点错误较多，英语应用不规范，词数严重不足，书写难以辨认
score:___________
Skill1:expand the sentences (扩句)
Skill2:enrich the sentence patterns(丰富句型)
问题：
1.短句太多
2.句型单一
2 mins
Groupwork
Skill1. Expand the sentences — add more details
.... I went to Sanyang Wetland. I wanted to enjoy fresh air and saw many flowers. And I went boating along Tanghe River. I was happy to see the beautiful sights along the river.
原句：I went boating along Tanghe River.
(加人物/加副词/加时间)
I went to Sanyang Wetland.
Add more details
^
^
^
Skill1. Expand the sentences — add more details(加同位语）
I climbed the Daluo Mountain, the most famous mountain in Ouhai.
I went boating along Tanghe River, a mother river in Wenzhou.
Make sentences
1.我爬了大罗山，瓯海最有名的山。
2.我爬了大罗山，温州一座很受欢迎的山。
I went to Sanyang Wetland,__________________.
Challenge：加同位语
I went boating along Tanghe River, the cleanest river in Ouhai.
Tanghe River = a mother river in Wenzhou = the cleanest river in Ouhai
I climbed the Daluo Mountain, a very popular mountain in Wenzhou.
Make as many sentences as you can.
Skill2. Enrich the sentence patterns — change the subject(改变主语)
.... , we had many activities....And I went boating along Tanghe River.... I was happy to see the beautiful sights along the river.
1.there be...
2.doing sth+is/was+adj/n.
3.It is/was+adj.+to do sth
1.We had many activities.
Change the subject
There were many activities.
2.I went boating along Tanghe River.
Going boating along Tanghe River was amazing/wonderful/a good choice/....
3.I was happy to see the beautiful sights along the river.
It was /happy/fantastic/interesting/... to see the beautiful sights along the river.
Skill2. Enrich the sentence patterns — change the predicate(改变谓语)
Can you make any sentences about this writing by using the phrases above (用以上词组关于这篇作文造句)
Tip:Learn to collect phrases that have the same meanings.
choose
decide
interest
visit
:make up one’s mind
:make a decision
:be interested in
:show interest in
:make a choice
:pay a visit to
Can you help the cats fish
Skill2. Enrich the sentence patterns — (other changes)其他句型的改写
...we had many activities.Some people visited Sanyang Wetland.Some people made paper in Zeya.Some people climbed Daluo Mountain.
3.合并句子
I went to Sanyang Wetland. I wanted to enjoy fresh air and see many flowers.
1.改为感叹句
This event is very meaningful.
2.用更高级词汇词组
I love my hometown.
Try to learn it by yourself or ask others for help and finish it after class.(课后自学或同伴互助)
How to beautify your writing
expand the sentences
enrich the sentence patterns
加时间/加副词/加人物
加同位语
变化主语
变化谓语
It’s +adj.+to do
there be
doing sth+is/was
eg.interest-show interest in
eg.visit-pay a visit to
Summarize(总结) by the mind map
其他变化
初中书面表达以短句为主，长句为辅
Checklist
Do you expand the sentences
Do you enrich the sentence patterns
Rewrite(Apply what you learn to the second draft二稿.)
How to beautify your writing
加时间/加副词/加人物
加同位语
enrich the sentence patterns
变化主语
变化谓语
其他形式
expand the sentences
It’s important to learn beautifying your writing.
Exploring the beauty of Ouhai’s culture is meaningful as well.How to beautify your writing
八下M1-M2 activities & feelings
In this lesson，you should be able to:
1.know better about Ouhai’s culture
2.learn how to beautify(美化)your writing
3.apply(应用) what you learn to the writing
Step1 Give scores
浙江省毕业升学考试书面表达评分标准
采分点 满分 可给分值
1、内容充实，覆盖要点（内容、要点） 7 6-7描述了所有要点，内容合理、丰富 3-5描述了大部分信息，内容比较合理 1-2描述了小部分信息，内容不合理 0 没有作答或描述内容与主题不关
2、用词适切，语法正确，句型多样（词汇、语法、句型） 7 6-7用词适切，句型变化多样且有效，完全或基本没有语言错误 3-5用词基本适切，句型比较单一，有少量语言错误但不影响理解 1-2有较多语言错误，一定程度上影响理解 0 有大量语言错误，影响了理解
3、结构紧凑，意思连贯（语意、连词、指代） 4 3-4行文连贯，连接词使用恰当，指代清晰 1-2行文不够连贯，连接词使用不够恰当，指代不够清晰 0 没有连贯的意识
4、书写规范，词数适宜（标点符号、大小写、词数） 2 2大小写、标点正确，词数达标，书写规范整洁 1大小写、标点有部分错误，词数达标，书写尚可辨认 0大小写、标点错误较多，英语应用不规范，词数严重不足，书写难以辨认
Step2 How to beautify your writing
Skill1.Expand the sentences — add more details________________________________
原句：I went boating along Tanghe River.
Add more details:
I went to Sanyang Wetland.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Skill1. Expand the sentences — add more details(加同位语）
原句：I went boating along Tanghe River.
Example: I went boating along Tanghe River, a mother river in Wenzhou.
I went boating along Tanghe River, the cleanest river in Ouhai.
Make sentences:
1.我爬了大罗山，瓯海最有名的山。
2.我爬了大罗山，温州一座很受欢迎的山。
Challenge（加同位语）
I went to Sanyang Wetland，_________________________________________________________.
_________________________________________________________.
_________________________________________________________.
Skill2. Enrich the sentence patterns — change the subject(改变主语)
Change the subject:
We had many activities.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I went boating along Tanghe River.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I was happy to see the beautiful sights along the river.
________________________________________________________________________________
Skill2. Enrich the sentence patterns — change the predicate(改变谓语)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
choose
decide
interest
visit
Can you make any sentences about this writing by using the phrases above (用以上词组关于这篇作文造句)
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Skill2. Enrich the sentence patterns —Others其他句型的改写
Try to learn it by yourself or ask others for help and finish it after class.
This event is very meaningful.（改为感叹句）
_________________________________________________________________________________
I love my hometown.（用更高级词汇词组）
_________________________________________________________________________________
原句：...we had many activities.Some people visited Sanyang Wetland.Some people made paper in Zeya.Some people climbed Daluo Mountain.（合并句子）
_________________________________________________________________________________
I went to Sanyang Wetland. I wanted to enjoy fresh air and see many flowers.（合并句子）
_________________________________________________________________________________
Step3
Step4 Rewrite(Apply what you learn to the second draft二稿.)
Explore Ouhai’s culture
Last weekend, Ouhai held an event with the theme of “Explore Ouhai’s culture” for people _________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
