外研版七年级上册Module 1 My classmate My good friend 作文讲评课件(共11张PPT)

(共11张PPT)
My good friend作文讲评
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审题
审时态：
审人称：
审结构：
一般现在时
he, 注意三单
开头: 结合已给首句，介绍朋友的基本信息。
正文: 具体介绍朋友的生活习惯，爱好以及科目
结尾: 总结上文；说出感受
写成三段！
name
age
nationality
school
living habits
hobbies
subject
连词成句/润色
整合：He is a thirteen-year-old student named Peter Smith in No.3 Middle School. He is from England,but he is living in China now.
He is a thirteen-year-old English boy named Peter Smith.He is also a student in No.3 Middle School.
He is a thirteen-year-old English boy named Peter Smith, who is a also student in No.3 Middle School.
the beginning(开头)
name
His name is Peter Smith.
age
He is thirteen years old./He is a thirteen-year-old boy.
nationality
He is from England and he is English.
school
He is a student in No.3 Middle School.
顺序问题
连词成句/润色
不能笼统地说明，四点分别展开写，会写的点详写。
the body(正文)
living habits
His living habits are eating healthy food and doing sports every day.
hobbies
His hobbies are drawing pictures.
subject
His favourite subject is Chinese because it is very interesting.
连词成句/润色
He always eats healthy food.
He always eats healthy food,such as fruit, beef and so on in his daily life. (举例)
He always eats healthy food to keep healthy,such as fruit, beef and so on in his daily life. （说明目的并举例）
He always eats healthy food like apples in his daily life. As an old saying goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.(使用谚语；说明原因)
the body(正文)
living habits
His living habits are eating healthy food and doing sports every day.
连词成句/润色
He also does sports every day to keep healthy.(目的)
He also does sports every day and his favourite sport is basketball. He always plays basketball with me on the playground after school.(展开说明，具体喜欢什么运动，是否擅长，什么时候运动，和谁运动，哪里运动)
He also does sports every day and his favourite sport is basketball. He always plays basketball with me on the playground after school, which makes him strong as well as relaxed.(用定语从句，来说明好处，as well as 代替and)
He also does sports every day and his favourite sport is basketball. He always plays basketball with me on the playground after school. It is a good way（方式）to keep healthy as well as relax himself.
（ a good way to do sth. 一种做某事的好的方式/方法）
the body(正文)
living habits
His living habits are eating healthy food and doing sports every day.
连词成句/润色
Of all the subjects, he likes Chinese best because he is really interested in Chinese tradtional culture.(说明原因)
Of all the subjects, he likes Chinese best and now he is working hard to learn Chinese well.(说明现在的行动)
Of all the subjects, he likes Chinese best. He is so interested in Chinese traditional culture that he is working hard to learn Chinese well now. And I often help him with his Chinese.(so...that...)
the body(正文)
subject
His favourite subject is Chinese because it is very interesting.
连词成句/润色
He likes drawing pictures in his free time.(爱好，顾名思义，空余时间喜欢做什么)
He enjoys drawing pictures in his free time and he is good at it. (擅长)
He enjoys drawing pictures in his free time to relax himself.(目的)
He enjoys drawing pictures when is free and it is a good way to relax himself.
He is fond of drawing pictures when he is free and he is talented in it. The pictures he draws(他画的画)are quite beautiful.
the body(正文)
hobbies
His hobbies are drawing pictures.
连词成句/润色
He always eats healthy food to keep healthy,such as fruit, beef and so on in his daily life.He also does sports every day and his favourite sport is basketball, which makes him strong as well as relaxed.Of all the subjects, he likes Chinese best because he is really interested in Chinese tradtional culture.He is fond of drawing pictures when he is free and he is talented in it. The pictures he draws are quite beautiful.
the body(正文)
缺少衔接语！
连词成句/润色
As we all know, health plays an important role in our life. Without health, we can do nothing well.Therefore(因此),Peter always eats healthy food to keep healthy,such as fruit, beef and so on.He also does sports every day and his favourite sport is basketball, which makes him strong as well as relaxed.What’s more, of all the subjects, he likes Chinese best because he is really interested in Chinese tradtional culture.When he is free，he is fond of drawing pictures and he is talented in it. The pictures he draws are quite beautiful.
the body(正文)
学会使用句子或者衔接词，让文章更通顺！
连词成句、润色
the end(结尾)
What a nice boy! Do you want to make friends with him？(用感叹句型来总结上文)
All in all, it is very lucky for me to have such a friend like Peter.Do you want to make friends with him？(句型：it is +adj+ for sb to do sth )
A life without friends is like a life without the sun. So I am very lucky to have such an excellent friend like Peter，who makes my life colorful.(使用谚语;定语从句说明原因)