写作writing课件(共27张PPT)

(共27张PPT)
The Analysis of the WritingEnough Sleeping Time or Not 五、书面表达（共20分）
近日，我国教育部发布通知，明确学生睡眠时间要求。其中，初中生每日睡眠时间应达到9小时。对此，你校English Club为学校管理者开展了相关问卷调查：我校初中生睡眠时间是否达标？调查结果如下图所示。请你以“Enough Sleeping Time or Not？”为题写一篇约110词的英语短文投稿。简单描述调查结果，并谈谈你对该问题的看法并提出合理建议，让学校管理者有所启发。
注意：（1）文中不能出现真实的人名和校名等相关信息；
（2）开头已给出，不计入总次数。
2021年温州初中学业水平第二次适应性考试书面表达
审题
内容要点：
写作意图：
人称：
时态：
（20分） 满分档： （16-19分）第五档： （12-15分）第四档： （8-11分） 第三档： （5-7分）第二档： （0-3分） 第一档：专家鉴定完美文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图有一句完整的与主题有关的句子白卷，不文明，中文0分。有一些英语单词3分。至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子 （20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误。
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
6
（0-3分） 第一档：
（5-7分）第二档：
一个完整的句子（6分）
两三个完整的句子（7-8分）
五、书面表达（共20分）
近日，我国教育部发布通知，明确学生睡眠时间要求。其中，初中生每日睡眠时间应达到9小时。对此，你校English Club为学校管理者开展了相关问卷调查：我校初中生睡眠时间是否达标？调查结果如下图所示。请你以“Enough Sleeping Time or Not？”为题写一篇约110词的英语短文投稿。简单描述调查结果，并谈谈你对该问题的看法并提出合理建议，让学校管理者有所启发。
注意：（1）文中不能出现真实的人名和校名等相关信息；
（2）开头已给出，不计入总次数。
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度,长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度,长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
opinions and suggestions
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
17
内容涵盖要点：Beginningthe result of the survey : What do the charts show to describe the numbersto describe the reasons2. your opinionsandyour suggestions文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误.BodyEndingwriting tips: To make an outline can help you cover the key points.writing tips: make writing colorful by using a different verb(换个谓语)
From the survey, we can know that there are 5% people sleeping over 9
hours. There are 20 % people sleeping 7-9 hours and there are 75% people
sleeping less than 7 hours
for
for
for
75% of the students sleep for less than 7 hours, 20% have the sleeping hours between 7 and nine hours, and only 5% of them get enough sleeping time.
Most
some
a small number
First, too much homework to do.Besides, they spend hours chatting online. What’s more, play games takes up a lot of time.First,there istoo much homework to do./First, most students have too much homework to do .2. 使用it做(形式)主语：
It + takes.+ (sb.)+ time to do sth.
By using a different subject(换个主语)
3. 动名词做主语，表示“一件事”
Doing something +V. …
Playing games takes up a lot of time.
It takes students a lot of time to play games.
1. 动作执行者做主语
play games takes up a lot of time.
？
Some students spend a lot of time playing games.
连接词：
and
but
so
first second third
what’s more / moreover/ what’s worse/ not only ... but also
therefore , as a result
however / while / or
firstly/secondly/ thirdly/ finally / last but not least
although／though／anyhow ...
4.顺序
5让步
First, there is too much homework to do for students.Besides, some students spend hours chatting online. What’s more, it takes students a lot of time to play games.
根据上下文逻辑关系判断，常见承接、转折、因果、并列、条件关系等。
1.承接
2.转折
3.因果
连接词：
and
but
so
first second third
what’s more / moreover/ what’s worse/ not only ... but also
therefore , as a result
however / while / or
firstly/secondly/ thirdly/ finally / last but not least
_______I suggest that the school and parents should _________ help students manage time, ________ reduce the amount of their homework, ______ they may not be able to focus on lessons the next day.
So
not only
but also
or
writing tips: Linking phrases or words can make our writing more logical.
根据上下文逻辑关系判断，常见承接、转折、因果、并列、条件关系等。
although／though／anyhow ...
1.承接
2.转折
3.因果
4.顺序
5让步
First, there is too much homework to do for students . Besides, some students spend hours chatting online. What’s more, it takes students a lot of time to play games.
Recently, the English Club of our school has taken a survey on “Enough Sleeping Time or Not ” There are 75% of the students sleeping for7 hours, there are 20% of the students sleeping for between seven and nine hours, and there are 5%of the students sleeping for less than 7 hours.
Students don’t get enough sleeping time because of sleeping late. Most of them spend too much time playing games or chatting with friends online, and some students stay up late to do their homework.
①
Recently, the English Club of our school has taken a survey on “Enough Sleeping Time or Not ” As is show in the chart, 75% of the students have less than 7 hours sleeping time, 20% have the sleeping hours between seven and nine hours, and only 5% of them get enough sleeping time.
How does it happen From the graph, we can know that students don’t get enough sleeping time because of sleeping late. Most of them spend too much time playing games or chatting with friends online, and some students stay up late to do their homework.
？
②
writing tips: Linking sentences can make our writing more logical.
Recently, the English Club of our school has taken a survey on “Enough Sleeping Time or Not ” As is show in the chart, 75% of the students have less than 7 hours sleeping time, 20% have the sleeping hours between seven and nine hours, and only 5% of them get enough sleeping time.
How does it happen From the graph, we can know that students don’t get enough sleeping time because of sleeping late. Most of them spend too much time playing games or chat with friends online, and some students stay up late to do their homework. So, I suggest that the school and parents should not only help students manage time, but also reduce the amount of their homework, or they may not be able to focus on lessons the next day.
It is believed that enough sleep makes people healthier. As students ,we can study better with a healthy body. _______________________________________________________
writing tips:A nice ending can make your writing complete.
Ending:
（16-19分）第五档：文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
Recently, the English Club of our school has taken a survey on “Enough Sleeping Time or Not ” As is show in the chart, 75% of the students have less than 7 hours sleeping time, 20% have the sleeping hours between seven and nine hours, and only 5% of them get enough sleeping time.
How does it happen From the graph, we can know that students don’t get enough sleeping time because of sleeping late. Most of them spend too much time playing games or chat with friends online, and some students stay up late to do their homework. So, I suggest that the school and parents should not only help students manage time, but also reduce the amount of their homework, or they may not be able to focus on lessons the next day.
It is believed that enough sleep makes people healthier. As students ,we can study better with a healthy body.
1.Cover all the main points
2. Make your writing full with different verbs
or sentence structures.
3. Make your writing logical by using linking
words or sentences properly.
4. Have a nice ending.
To improve our writing, we’d better...
审题内容要点：写作意图：人称：时态：内容涵盖要点：Beginningthe result of the survey : What do the charts show to describe the numbersto describe the reasons2. your choice and reasons文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误.BodyEnding自查：首尾呼应句式多样过渡自然，有衔接用副词，情态动词，复合句等让措词严谨老练not all, always, mostly, nearly, hardly, perhaps, maybe , probably, possibly, may,indeed，little…抄：将修改好的作文在重新端正的抄写在答题纸上
评：
书写 3分 段落 1分 字数 3分 要点 3分 条理清楚 2分 逻辑严密 3分 语言丰富2 错误 2分 得
分
首尾呼应1分 段落重点突出1分 连词 1分 内容有说服力1 措词严谨老练1
4. 常用连接：
并列and, as well, not only…but also…
递进what’s more, what’s worse, besides
转折 but, however, while
因果so, therefore，as a result, so… that… because, that’s why, the reason is that…,since, as…
让步 although/though, no matter, even if
解释说明 for example, for instance, such as, like, actually, to tell you the truth, in fact
条件 if, as long as, unless
目的 in order to, so that
时间顺序 at first, at the beginning/end of ,then, after that, later, in the end, finally, at last,
as soon as
观点顺序 first /second/third, firstly, secondly/last but not least
陈述观点：in my opinion, I think, in my point of view, to be sure…
总结 above all, anyway, all in all, in a word, generally speaking
摘抄：(Learn from your partners)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
订正: (Make yourself better)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(by Lucy)
Homework
给两篇作文各写两到三句与主题有关的句子。
Level 1:
Level 2:
Complete your article , and give points for your partners.
Thank you!