人教版2019高二上学期英语第一次月考一读后续写评讲课件

(共22张PPT)
高二第一次月考作文评讲
读后续写
given passage
continuation writing
Our problems in continuation writing
The creative plot is not consistent with the author's writing purpose.
谋篇布局与原文叙述意图不一致
The advanced expressions are not fit for the given passage.
语言风格与原文不一致
The details are contradictory to the given passage.
细节内容与原文不一致
Storyline 故事线
Target 突破点
Outstanding points
亮点
基本点
5W：Who What Where When Why
Theme
Analyse the given sentences
1、环境、动作、心理、语言等描写
2、丰富句式
回扣升华主题
I am Russian, but for the last five years, I’ve lived in Kansas. What brought me to this country was my American husband, John. I work in a department store, where my coworkers pronounce my Russian name so sweetly. Every time I hear it, I feel as though my mom is embracing me.
In my native country, people believe that Americans always keep big smiles on their faces even if they don’t have a real reason to do so. The American smile, the Russians have decided, is not genuine.
Last year, John encouraged me to go to see my mom back in Russia. My manager even gave me a month off for the trip. (When you live an ocean apart from your family, you need at least a month to visit them.) I bought a plane ticket and packed my suitcase. Then came COVID-19. My mood became gray as I realized I couldn’t go to see my mom.
A couple of weeks later, my sweet coworker Miss Donna, asked me.“So what’s happening with your trip to Russia ”I told her that I had to cancel it and that I wouldn’t be able to see my mom this year.
Miss Donna didn’t say anything at first. Then she put on a big American smile and said, “Well, you can come over and see my mom!”
Oh, my Lord! (That’s what my husband always says when he’s at a loss for words.) Imagine, a mom for loan! I honestly don’t know whether I would offer the same to someone in need of a mother’s warmth, but my new people sure would do it for me. I know that because of the virus you shouldn’t hug friends, but you can still embrace someone’s heart. That’s how my heart felt at that moment: hugged. So, yes, believe me, the American smile is genuine.
Main development
01
Plot
02
Feelings
what why
who how
3
Analyse the two given sentences
(问题链构思情节）+再进行细节拓展
Para1:It didn’t take long before Miss Donna invited me to call on her mom
Para2: When the dinner was ready, I was surprised to find there were several Russian dishes.
1. What did I do before I saw Miss Donna’s mother
2. How did I feel when I saw Miss Donna
3. What happen after I saw Miss Donna
1. What did I feel
2. What did mom do then
3. How
me : moved happy
Ending？
3
The 4 sentences make a framework of the story.
选题的意义
选题的意义
It didn’t take long before Miss Donna invited me to call on her momS1_____________________________________________________________________________S2续写第一段的最后一句.
When the dinner was ready, I was surprised to find there were several Russian dishes. S3_______________________________________________________________________S4续写第二段的最后一句.
I know that because of the virus you shouldn’t hug friends, but you can still embrace someone’s heart. That’s how my heart felt at that moment: hugged. So, yes, believe me, the American smile is genuine.
根据续写方向和段首句构思框架
第一步：由续写大方向、所给段首句拟定一个积极正能量的结局
第二步：根据续写第一段的首句和第二段的首句构思出第一段的框架
第三步：根据第二段的首句和拟定的结局构思出第二段的框架。
微技能
范文
It didn’t take long before Miss Donna invited me to call on her mom. I could still remember it was a Saturday afternoon. The sun was sinking in the west when I knocked on the door. An aged woman answered it. The moment she saw me, a typical American smile lit up her face, which also drove my nervousness away. After my introduction, she warmly led me in, seated me on the sofa and called Miss Donna to chat with me, while she herself walked into the kitchen to prepare dinner for us.
范文
When the dinner was ready, I was surprised to find there were several Russian dishes. Miss Donna’s mom smiled gently to me, “Make yourself at home.” Definitely she struck me as a lovely and caring mom, just like my mom. Over the dinner I told her about my hometown and she listened carefully with an understanding expression. The cuisine she made left a deep impression on me, but what struck me most was her warm smile, which was full of encouragement and love. Never before had I believed so firmly that a genuine smile was a ray of light, brightening up the day in the darkest time.
评分原则
1．本题总分为25分，按5个档次给分。
2．评分时，先根据所续写短文的内容和语言初步确定其所属
档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量、确定或调整档次，最后给分。
3．词数少于120的，从总分中减去2分。
4．评分时，应主要从以下三个方面考虑：
（1）与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度；
（2）应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性及准确性；
（3）上下文的连贯性及内容的丰富性。
5．拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个重要方面。评分时，应视其
对交际的影响程度予以考虑。
6．如书写较差以致影响交际，可将分数降低一个档次。
各档次的给分范围和要求
第五档（21—25）
●与所给短文融洽度较高，与所提供各段落开头语衔接较为合理。
●内容比较丰富。
●所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确，可能有些许错误，但不影响意义表达。
●比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使所续写的短文结构紧凑。
第四档（16—20）
●与所给短文融洽度高，与所提供各段落开头语衔接合理。
●内容丰富。
●所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确，可能有些许错误，但完全不影响意义表达。
●有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使所续写短文结构紧凑。
第三档（11—15）
●与所给短文关系较为密切，与所提供各段落开头语有一定程度的衔接。
●写出了若干有关内容。
●应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求，虽有一些错误，但不影响意义表达。
●应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文内容连贯。
各档次的给分范围和要求
第二档（6—10）
●与所给短文有一定的关系，与所提供各段落开头语有一定程度的衔接。
●写出了一些有关内容。
●语法结构单调，词汇项目有限，有些语法结构和词汇方面的错误，影响了意义的表达。
●较少使用语句间的连接成分，全文内容缺少连贯性。
第一档（1—5）
●与所提供短文和开头语的衔接较差。
●产出内容较少。
●语法结构单调，词汇项目很有限，有较多语法结构和词汇方面的错误，严重影响了意义的表达。
●缺乏语句间的连接成分，全文内容不连贯。
0分
●白卷、内容太少无法评判或所写内容与所提供内容无关。
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