中小学教育资源及组卷应用平台
Unit 4 Amazing art
概要写作练习重点——优化要点提取
Ⅰ 外刊输入——悟语言之道
Astronauts Reach Space Station
China launched the Shenzhou Ⅻ manned spacecraft on June 17, 2021 which is expected to send three astronauts to its space station core module Tianhe for a three month mission. The spacecraft, atop a Long March 2F carrier rocket, was launched from the Jiuquan Satellite Launch Center.
Three Chinese astronauts on board—Major General Nie Haisheng, Major General Liu Boming and Senior Colonel Tang Hongbo floated into the core module, named Tianhe, or Harmony of Heavens, at 6:48 pm on Thursday, after their Shenzhou Ⅻ spaceship linked with the module in a low Earth orbit about 390 kilometers above the Earth at 3:54 pm.
They have begun to carry out their tasks inside the craft, which is the first and central section of China's space station, called Tiangong, or Heavenly Palace.
The three astronauts are tasked with testing plans, technologies and facilities for crucial elements of the Tiangong station's construction and operation, such as astronauts' long term mission arrangements, life support resources and system, in orbit resupply, and spacecraft maintenance and repair. They also will carry out other space tasks and experiments in Tianhe.
During the mission, the astronauts are scheduled to conduct two spacewalks, and to use mechanical arms to install equipment and check Tianhe's external condition.
Their work will enable the China Manned Space Agency to accumulate experience and monitor the performance of systems involved in the space station program so as to prepare for the next steps in its construction.
Shenzhou Ⅻ will be the longest mission that Chinese astronauts have ever performed and will be of great challenge. First, this is because they must be able to maintain good health, considering that a long stay in an environment without gravity will cause greater effects on the human body than short term flight. Second, living and working long in the craft's small space, a lack of communication, together with the unfavorable physical influences, can easily result in negative emotions. In closing, the complexity of building and running a space station tests astronauts' professional knowledge and skills.
1.重点词汇再现
(1)launch v. 发射
(2)spacecraft n. 航天器
(3)astronaut n. 宇航员
(4)rocket n. 火箭
(5)satellite n. 卫星
(6)on board 在宇宙飞船上
(7)orbit n. 轨道
(8)facility n. 设备
(9)resource n. 资源
(10)spacewalk n. 太空行走
(11)monitor v. 监测
(12)so as to 为了
(13)gravity n. 重力
(14)lack n. 缺乏
(15)result in 导致
(16)in closing 最后
2.重点句型再现:“this is because...”意为“这是因为……”
First, this is because they must be able to maintain good health, considering that a long stay in an environment without gravity will cause greater effects on the human body than short term flight.
首先,这是因为他们必须能够保持良好的健康,考虑到长期待在没有重力的环境中会比短期飞行对人体造成更大的影响。
Ⅱ 迷你语料库(Mini Corpus)
序号 佳句呈现 赏析
1 Although scientists try to make sure nothing goes wrong, accidents can still happen. 描写意外可能会发生。although引导让步状语从句;go wrong意为“出错”。
2 The future of space exploration remains bright. 描写探索太空的前途光明。
3 After many experiments, they succeeded in making rockets that could escape Earth's gravity. 描写多次试验最后才成功。succeed in doing sth.意为“成功做到某事”。
4 Looking up at the stars, people have always wanted to learn more about space, and scientists work hard to find answers. 描写对太空科学的渴望及努力。Looking up 为v. ing形式作状语,和句子的主语people构成主动关系。
5 They make vehicles to carry brave people into space to find out the secrets of the universe. 描写对探索太空做出的努力。vehicle 为名词,意为“交通工具”;to find out为to do不定式作目的状语。
6 However, some scientists were determined to help humans realise their dream to explore space. 描写科学家帮助人类实现探索太空的梦想。be determined to do sth.意为“下定决心做某事”。
7 Afterwards, the USSR focused on sending people into space, and on 12 April 1961, Yuri Gagarin became the first person in the world to go into space. 描写太空探索第一人。focus on 意为“专注于”;the first person to do sth.意为“第一个做某事的人”。
8 Over eight years later, on 20 July 1969, American astronaut Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon, famously saying①, “That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind.②” 描写登月第一人阿姆斯特朗。①saying 为v. ing形式作状语,和句子的主语American astronaut Neil Armstrong构成主动关系;②此句名言的含义为:“对于一个人来说,这只是一小步,但对人类来说,这却是巨大的一步。”
9 These disasters made everyone sad and disappointed, but the desire to explore the universe never died. 描写失败后人们难过的心情以及继续积极探索。disaster为名词,意为“灾难”;desire此处为名词,意为“渴望”。
10 This is because people believe in the importance of carrying on space exploration despite the huge risks. 描写人们理解做某事的重要性。because 引导表语从句; carry on意为“进行”; despite 为介词,意为 “尽管、即使”。
11 China became the third country in the world to independently send① humans into space in 2003, when Yang Liwei successfully orbited Earth in the Shenzhou 5 spacecraft②. 描写中国航天事业的成就。①to do不定式作定语,修饰被序数词third修饰的名词country;②when引导定语从句,修饰先行词in 2003。orbit 此处为动词,意为“沿轨道运行”。
12 Then Shenzhou 6 and 7 completed a second manned orbit and the first Chinese spacewalk, followed by the vehicle Jade Rabbit being sent to the moon to study its surface. 描写中国航天事业的成就。manned 为形容词,意为“载人的”;spacewalk意为“太空行走”;followed 为过去分词作状语。
13 This signalled one step further in China's plan to establish a space station in the future. 描写中国建立空间站重要的一步。signal为动词,意为“标志”;establish为动词,意为“建立”。
14 Despite the difficulties, scientists hope future discoveries will not only enable us to understand how the universe began, but also help us survive well into the future. 描写太空发现对人类的益处。not only...but also...意为“不但……而且……”; enable 意为“使能够、使可能”;survive 为动词,意为“幸存”。
15 Countries around the globe are spending billions of dollars and lots of time on various space missions, whether to Mars or other planets much further away. 描写全球为太空探索做出的努力。spend sth. on sth.意为“在某物花费某物”;“whether...or...”引导状语从句,意为“不管……还是……”。
16 As a result, space based science has helped farming in its efforts to grow enough food to feed Earth's increasing population. 描写太空技术的益处。as a result意为“因此”;feed意为“养、养活”,过去式为fed,过去分词为fed;increasing 为形容词,意为“不断增加的”。
17 Secondly, space exploration has already promoted technological improvements that benefit us all. 描写太空技术的益处。promote 为动词,意为“促进”;that 引导定语从句,修饰先行词technological improvements。
18 High end products around the world are made to a higher standard now because of advanced technology which was first created to meet the requirements for space exploration. 描写太空技术的益处。high end为形容词,意为“高端的”;which引导定语从句,修饰advanced technology;meet the requirements意为“符合要求”。
19 Seeing pictures of our planet as an island in a black sea made people realise that our planet's resources are limited. 描写太空中俯瞰地球的感想。本句主语“Seeing pictures...in a black sea”为v. ing形式作主语。
20 In closing, exploring space provides the world with many different benefits. 总结太空探索的益处。provide sb. with sth.意为“为某人提供某物”。
Ⅲ 概要写作夯基篇:优化要点提取
一、写作微技能:优化要点提取
概要写作由“如何读和如何写两方面构成。“如何读”涉及优化要点的提取及区分主次关系;“如何写”涉及通过有效衔接与连贯实现同义转换重新串联起信息。
在“如何读”中,要准确、完整地提取文章中的要点,首先要理解文章的结构框架;然后依据文章的标题、段落主题句的关键词及文章内容提取文章要点;其次,要把握作者的写作意图,以期达成一致性:人称、语言风格及语篇类型保持一致。
在“如何写”中,首先要借助有效的连接词衔接整个语篇,一般常见的连接关系如下:
连接关系 示例
并列 and、besides、furthermore、moreover、additionally等
顺序 firstly、secondly、initially、eventually等
因果 so、therefore、because、thus、as a result、consequence等
条件 if、given、considering、on condition that、unless等
转折 but、however、though、although等
举例 for example、for instance、such as等
其次,要关注同义转换的有效性,可以使用以下四种方法:(1)使用词性相同、意义相同或相近的单词或词组;(2)通过构词法,改变单词的词性或词形;(3)灵活运用构词法,创造复合词;(4)合理使用同范畴词汇及上下范畴词汇:上范畴词汇往往指概括性的表达,而下范畴词汇则指具体的表达。
二、牛刀小试:策略引领,原创概要写作“5+2”模式
【典题精析】
阅读下面的短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
What started as a race to space between the United States and Russia has turned out to be a technological revolution that has greatly improved the quality of daily life throughout the world. Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have invented new technology to make space flights doable. The same technology, when applied on Earth, has produced thousands of products in the areas of health and sports that have significant impacts on our lives.
Many of these improvements are in the fields of health and medicine. NASA inspired technology fueled the great advances in the early detection of deadly diseases. For instance, computer chips designed for the Hubble telescope are used in digital imaging devices that help medical professionals detect cancer at very early stages. Eye doctors can now diagnose vision problems in very young children by using ocular screening (眼部筛查). Ultrasound scanners, portable x ray devices, and bone analyzers are among the medical devices developed with the help of space technology.
Fogless ski goggles and special sportswear are among the hundreds of items of sports equipment inspired by NASA technology. Space technology has been applied to sports too. The running shoes that athletes use today have midsoles that act like shock absorbers and keep the runners steady while in motion. These shoes utilize the technology NASA used to design the moon boot. In golf, athletes use a new ball that employs NASA research on how to make the flight of the ball from the tee to green(发球台到球池) faster and more accurate. In swimming, athletes can swim faster because of NASA developed fabric of their swimsuits.
Almost all aspects of daily life continue to improve because NASA scientists are still at work. Transportation, methods of preparing food, and work environments are other ways in which NASA technology has made significant changes.
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1.一审题——定主题
主题:太空技术应用于日常生活
体裁:说明文
时态:一般现在时
结构:总分总
2.二细读——提炼关键
根据结构可知本文关键语块是:
(1)第一段:说明对象——太空技术应用于日常生活
(2)第二段:医学上的用途
(3)第三段:体育上的用途
(4)第四段:太空技术给生活带来深刻的影响
3.三微练——造句初写
(1)第一段:说明对象——太空技术应用于日常生活
·原句:What started as a race to space between the United States and Russia has turned out to be a technological revolution that has greatly improved the quality of daily life throughout the world...The same technology, when applied on Earth, has produced thousands of products in the areas of health and sports that have significant impacts on our lives.
·关键词:名词+动词+名词
space__technology+greatly improved/have significant impacts on+the quality of daily__life/our lives
·组合得出要点一,特别注意替换原词
New__space__technology__greatly__influenced__people's__daily__life.
(2)第二段:医学上的用途
·中心句
Many__of__these__improvements__are__in__the__fields__of__health__and__medicine.
原句 关键词(名词+动词+名词)
·用途例一For instance, computer chips designed for the Hubble telescope are used in digital imaging devices that help medical professionals detect cancer at very early stages. 名词:computer__chips动词:detect名词:cancer
·用途例二Eye doctors can now diagnose vision problems in very young children by using ocular screening. 名词:ocular__screening动词:diagnose名词:vision__problems
·其他用途Ultrasound scanners, portable x ray devices, and bone analyzers are among the medical devices developed with the help of space technology. 名词:space__technology动词:develop名词:medical__devices
·组合得出要点二,特别注意替换原词
In health, space technology helps to develop new__medical__devices to detect__early__cancer,__or diagnose eye diseases.
(3)第三段:体育上的用途
·中心句
Space__technology__has__been__applied__to__sports__too.
原句 关键词(产品+目的)
·用途例一The running shoes that athletes use today have midsoles that act like shock absorbers and keep the runners steady while in motion. These shoes utilize the technology NASA used to design the moon boot. 产品:running__shoes目的:keep__the__runners__steady__while__in__motion
·用途例二In golf, athletes use a new ball that employs NASA research on how to make the flight of the ball from the tee to green faster and more accurate. 产品:golf__balls__目的:make__the__flight__of__the__ball__faster__and__more__accurate
·用途例三In swimming, athletes can swim faster because of NASA developed fabric of their swimsuits. 产品:swimsuits目的:swim__faster
·组合得出要点三,特别注意替换原词
In sports, space technology is used to manufacture running__shoes,__golf__balls and swimsuits for better performance.
(4)第四段:太空技术给生活带来深刻的影响
呼应主题,替换原词
故构成要点四Space technology makes__a__difference to our life.
4.四衔接——连贯成篇
连贯成篇的两原则:
·适当添加过渡衔接词
(1)要点二是第一个方面,故添加过渡词“首先”,如:first__of__all/to__begin__with。
(2)要点二和要点三之间是并列递进关系,故添加过渡衔接词“其次、另外”,如:what's__more/besides/moreover/furthermore。
(3)要点四是文末总结,故添加过渡衔接词“总之”, 如:in__conclusion/in__a__word。
·熟练使用指示或人称代词
用代词 it__替换重复的要点二、要点三和要点四中的space technology,避免重复。
5.五成文——复查定稿,誊写清晰
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New space technology greatly influenced people's daily life. First of all, in health, it helps to develop new medical devices to detect early cancer, or diagnose eye diseases. What's more, in sports, it is used to manufacture running shoes, golf balls and swimsuits for better performance. In conclusion, it makes a difference to our life.
再次回读原文,并积累以下高级词汇、语块、亮点句型及高级结构
1.race n. 竞赛
2.revolution n. 革命
3.invent v. 发明
4.doable adj. 可行的
5.apply v. 应用
6.significant adj. 意义重大的
7.field n. 领域
8.fuel v. 激发
9.detection n. 侦查
10.device/equipment n. 设备
11.professional n. 专业人员
12.vision n. 视觉
13.portable adj. 便携的
14.athlete n. 运动员
15.steady adj. 稳定的
16.utilize v. 应用
17.accurate adj. 精确的
18.aspect n. 方面
19.transportation n. 交通运输
20.method n. 方法
21.environment n. 环境
22.turn__out 结果是
23.improve__the__quality__of__daily__life 提高日常生活的质量
24.throughout__the__world 全世界
25.have__significant__impacts__on... 对……有重大影响
26.deadly__diseases 致命疾病
27.for__instance 例如
28.at__very__early__stages__ 早期
29.with__the__help__of 在……的帮助下
30.shock__absorber 减震器
31.because__of 因为
32.what引导主语从句
一开始是美国和俄罗斯之间的太空竞赛最终成为一场科技革命,它极大地提高了全世界人们的日常生活质量。
What__started__as__a__race__to__space__between__the__United__States__and__Russia has turned out to be a technological revolution that has greatly improved the quality of daily life throughout the world.
33.状语从句的省略
同样的技术,在地球上应用时,已经在健康和体育领域生产了成千上万的产品,对我们的生活产生了重大影响。
The same technology,when__applied__on__Earth,__has produced thousands of products in the areas of health and sports that have significant impacts on our lives.
34.过去分词作定语
例如,为哈勃望远镜设计的计算机芯片被用于数字成像设备中,帮助医学专业人员在早期发现癌症。
For instance, computer chips designed__for__the__Hubble__telescope are used in digital imaging devices that help medical professionals detect cancer at very early stages.
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