外研版必修1 学案M3 My First Ride on a Train写作指导
文档属性
| 名称 | 外研版必修1 学案M3 My First Ride on a Train写作指导 |  | |
| 格式 | doc | ||
| 文件大小 | 24.0KB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
| 版本资源 | 外研版 | ||
| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2023-02-12 18:20:24 | ||
图片预览
文档简介
写作指导
写作任务:
你校英文版校刊开辟了一个新栏目"Travel",向全校学生征稿。现在请你写一篇文章记叙你的一次旅行经历,并投稿给该栏目。
要求:1. 适当补充细节,使文章内容充实；2. 无语法错误,上下文连贯通顺；3. 词数:80-100。
写作分析:
本次写作任务要求记叙一次旅行经历,属于记叙文中的游记类写作。游记就是将自己在游览过程中的所见、所闻和所感记录下来。游记类文章主要是向人们介绍风光景点、名胜古迹、风土人情等,抒写自己参观游览的体验和感受。为了使文章条理清晰、层次清楚,游记类写作须按照一定的写作顺序,可以按照旅游日程的时间顺序来写,也可以按照旅游景点的更换来推进文章的进展。在记叙过程中应注意增加一些对景点本身的描述,如其历史文化、地理位置、景色风光等,从而使文章内容充实饱满。
本次写作任务并未限定该旅行的目的地,因此同学们应合理发挥,根据自己的实际情况,记叙一次令你印象深刻的旅行。需要注意的一点是,你的文章须记叙自己的一次旅行经历,而并非对其他人的一次旅行的记叙。文章可以分为三个部分展开。首先是景点的概况说明,这部分篇幅不宜过长,一两句话,能概括出该景点的特点即可。然后具体记叙旅行或游览的过程,这部分是文章的重点。旅行中哪些景色、人物或事件令你印象深刻？你又产生了怎样的感想或感受呢？旅行或游览过程中,所见所闻颇多,但并不是都要写到文章里去。写游记最容易犯的毛病,就是记"流水账":出发前的准备、路上的琐事,全部记下来；而关于游览本身或景点特色却只有寥寥几句。这样的详略不当会使文章读起来主题模糊。同学们应重点描述旅行或游览过程中最重要的行程、有特色的景观、对表现文章主题有重要作用的事物,其它的则应一笔带过,或者干脆略去不写。最后,可以简单谈谈你对此次旅行的感受,以结束全文。在语言方面,游记类文章对语言要求较高,同学们可以通过使用恰当的形容词、副词,令景点描述读起来生动形象。
初稿:
My parents and I went to the West Lake together. West Lake is a beautiful lake in the city of Hangzhou. We found that there were many visitors there. On the way to the West Lake, I saw many trees on both sides of the road, and the sky was blue. It made me very happy and relaxed. About thirty minutes later, we arrived at the West Lake. I enjoyed watching the clear water and other beautiful views. My parents and I took many pictures. I bought many gifts for my friends.
I enjoyed the travelling very much.
教师点评:
初稿文章记叙了旅行中的所见所闻,内容比较完整,其中也穿插有心情描写,基本无语法错误。但在以下方面仍需改进:1. 整篇文章都没有交代这次旅行发生的时间。游记属于记叙文体裁的一种,因此也须交代清楚该事件的六要素。2. 内容不够充实饱满,且给人以记"流水账"的感觉。比如在游览西湖时,除了拍照片"我"还和父母做了些什么？而初稿中作者只以一句话"I enjoyed watching the clear water and other beautiful views."匆匆带过了整个游览过程,这是远远不够的。3. 初稿语言过于简单,也缺少表连接的词语,因此通篇读下来略显生硬。可以通过对简单句进行合并,利用并列句、介词短语等增加句式的变化。
成稿:
During last summer vacation my parents and I went on a trip to the West Lake. The West Lake lies in the city of Hangzhou, which attracts hundreds of travellers from both China and abroad every year.
We arrived at the West Lake at about ten o’clock in the morning. My parents and I walked along the West Lake, appreciating the willow trees standing on the banks and the peaceful lake. I had never seen a lake more beautiful than this before. Then in the afternoon, we rowed around the lake. We took many pictures there and then bought some gifts for my friends. I really had a great time that day. The West Lake was so beautiful that we almost didn’t want to leave. I’d like to go there again some day.
教师点评:
改进后的成稿在内容和语言上均有不少进步。首先在内容方面,成稿交代了此次旅行的时间,使六要素完整。成稿也具体记叙了游览西湖的过程,不仅有拍照的内容,还加入了划船的内容,文章更加充实。在语言方面,成稿运用了定语从句"The West Lake lies in the city of Hangzhou, which attracts hundreds of travellers from both China and abroad every year",以及分词结构"My parents and I walked along the West Lake, appreciating the willow trees standing on the banks and the peaceful lake",语言提升了一个档次,充分显示出小作者不俗的语言功底。
Powerful Sentences:
1. It was a wonderful / meaningful / fantastic / great trip that I would never forget.
2. Located in ..., ... is a paradise for visitors.
3. We had a great time not just because (of) ... but also because (of) ...
4. On our way home, we all felt very happy and couldn’t help sharing the pictures we had taken.
3 / 3
写作任务:
你校英文版校刊开辟了一个新栏目"Travel",向全校学生征稿。现在请你写一篇文章记叙你的一次旅行经历,并投稿给该栏目。
要求:1. 适当补充细节,使文章内容充实；2. 无语法错误,上下文连贯通顺；3. 词数:80-100。
写作分析:
本次写作任务要求记叙一次旅行经历,属于记叙文中的游记类写作。游记就是将自己在游览过程中的所见、所闻和所感记录下来。游记类文章主要是向人们介绍风光景点、名胜古迹、风土人情等,抒写自己参观游览的体验和感受。为了使文章条理清晰、层次清楚,游记类写作须按照一定的写作顺序,可以按照旅游日程的时间顺序来写,也可以按照旅游景点的更换来推进文章的进展。在记叙过程中应注意增加一些对景点本身的描述,如其历史文化、地理位置、景色风光等,从而使文章内容充实饱满。
本次写作任务并未限定该旅行的目的地,因此同学们应合理发挥,根据自己的实际情况,记叙一次令你印象深刻的旅行。需要注意的一点是,你的文章须记叙自己的一次旅行经历,而并非对其他人的一次旅行的记叙。文章可以分为三个部分展开。首先是景点的概况说明,这部分篇幅不宜过长,一两句话,能概括出该景点的特点即可。然后具体记叙旅行或游览的过程,这部分是文章的重点。旅行中哪些景色、人物或事件令你印象深刻？你又产生了怎样的感想或感受呢？旅行或游览过程中,所见所闻颇多,但并不是都要写到文章里去。写游记最容易犯的毛病,就是记"流水账":出发前的准备、路上的琐事,全部记下来；而关于游览本身或景点特色却只有寥寥几句。这样的详略不当会使文章读起来主题模糊。同学们应重点描述旅行或游览过程中最重要的行程、有特色的景观、对表现文章主题有重要作用的事物,其它的则应一笔带过,或者干脆略去不写。最后,可以简单谈谈你对此次旅行的感受,以结束全文。在语言方面,游记类文章对语言要求较高,同学们可以通过使用恰当的形容词、副词,令景点描述读起来生动形象。
初稿:
My parents and I went to the West Lake together. West Lake is a beautiful lake in the city of Hangzhou. We found that there were many visitors there. On the way to the West Lake, I saw many trees on both sides of the road, and the sky was blue. It made me very happy and relaxed. About thirty minutes later, we arrived at the West Lake. I enjoyed watching the clear water and other beautiful views. My parents and I took many pictures. I bought many gifts for my friends.
I enjoyed the travelling very much.
教师点评:
初稿文章记叙了旅行中的所见所闻,内容比较完整,其中也穿插有心情描写,基本无语法错误。但在以下方面仍需改进:1. 整篇文章都没有交代这次旅行发生的时间。游记属于记叙文体裁的一种,因此也须交代清楚该事件的六要素。2. 内容不够充实饱满,且给人以记"流水账"的感觉。比如在游览西湖时,除了拍照片"我"还和父母做了些什么？而初稿中作者只以一句话"I enjoyed watching the clear water and other beautiful views."匆匆带过了整个游览过程,这是远远不够的。3. 初稿语言过于简单,也缺少表连接的词语,因此通篇读下来略显生硬。可以通过对简单句进行合并,利用并列句、介词短语等增加句式的变化。
成稿:
During last summer vacation my parents and I went on a trip to the West Lake. The West Lake lies in the city of Hangzhou, which attracts hundreds of travellers from both China and abroad every year.
We arrived at the West Lake at about ten o’clock in the morning. My parents and I walked along the West Lake, appreciating the willow trees standing on the banks and the peaceful lake. I had never seen a lake more beautiful than this before. Then in the afternoon, we rowed around the lake. We took many pictures there and then bought some gifts for my friends. I really had a great time that day. The West Lake was so beautiful that we almost didn’t want to leave. I’d like to go there again some day.
教师点评:
改进后的成稿在内容和语言上均有不少进步。首先在内容方面,成稿交代了此次旅行的时间,使六要素完整。成稿也具体记叙了游览西湖的过程,不仅有拍照的内容,还加入了划船的内容,文章更加充实。在语言方面,成稿运用了定语从句"The West Lake lies in the city of Hangzhou, which attracts hundreds of travellers from both China and abroad every year",以及分词结构"My parents and I walked along the West Lake, appreciating the willow trees standing on the banks and the peaceful lake",语言提升了一个档次,充分显示出小作者不俗的语言功底。
Powerful Sentences:
1. It was a wonderful / meaningful / fantastic / great trip that I would never forget.
2. Located in ..., ... is a paradise for visitors.
3. We had a great time not just because (of) ... but also because (of) ...
4. On our way home, we all felt very happy and couldn’t help sharing the pictures we had taken.
3 / 3