2023届高考英语作文备考：读后续写之火海救人高分技巧学案（无答案）
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| 名称 | 2023届高考英语作文备考：读后续写之火海救人高分技巧学案（无答案） |  | |
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| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2023-02-26 08:39:15 | ||
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高考读后续写火海救人高分技巧
●和火相关的场景描写
▲相关短语:
1.roaring呼啸的 / flickering闪烁的/hungry flames
2.thick / strong / acrid刺鼻的smell of the smoke
3. _______横扫 / ________包围 / ________爆炸 / ______吞食 everything in its path
4._____________充满the air 使空气窒息
5.sth. be _______________耗尽/烧尽in flames
▲火灾场景的火势描写:
1.The house was bathed in an immense stream of flame.
2.The roaring fire swallowed the whole house.
3.The house was lit up by the violent fire.
4.The blaze probably consumed countless pieces of Brazil's cultural relics.
5.The ferocious fire ripped through her bungalow, reducing it to ashes.
▲火灾场景的浓烟描写:
1.浓烟呛得他快窒息了。
He was nearly _______________ by the thick smoke.
2.浓烟差点把他熏倒。
The smoke was overwhelming which almost _______________.
3.浓烟遮蔽了他的视线,他跌跌撞撞地摸索着前进。
Blinded by the dense smoke, he stumbled to ______________.
4.他觉得喉咙和肺火辣辣的,同时每一眨眼都刺痛他的眼睛。
He felt his throat and lungs burned, every blink _________ (sting) his eyes.
5.迎着热浪,他竭尽全力往上爬。
Met by intense heat, he ___________ to scramble upwards. struggled
▲火灾场景的听觉描写：
1.We heard the __________(explode) of the gas tank mixed with the _______ (noise) sounds from shattering windows.
2.The air was filled with thick, black smoke, the sounds of _______ (siren), people
____________ (scream) and glass breaking.
3.The housekeeper had come _________ (pound) on her door, screaming, ________
(beat) on the wood.
4.People were leaning out of windows and balconies, ________ (call) for help.
●小情景练习：
▲翻译:
1.丹尼斯正在家熟睡的时候,突然一个很大的声音把他吵醒了。
_______________________________________
2.他从卧室的窗户向外看去,注意到一辆翻倒的车下窜出火焰。
______________________________________
3.他起床,打了一个紧急电话,抓起灭火器,跑向那辆不能动的汽车。
____________________________________
(He got up,made an emergency call and grabbed the fire extinguisher,
running to the disabled car.)
4.接近那辆车,眼前情况让他非常震惊,一名年轻男子被卡在车内,明显很疼痛。
______________________________________
5.丹尼斯毫不犹豫地开始行动.灭火器连续喷了两下,火被扑灭了。
______________________________________
6.他告诉年轻人不要动,以防止他伤着他的脖子。
_______________________________________
7.不久,医生们来了,丹尼斯感到非常欣慰.
____________________________________
▲衔接美文
将以上各句合并成小短文并背诵成文，注意使用合适的衔接过渡词汇。
One possible version!
Dennis was sleeping soundly at home when a loud sound woke him up. Looking out of his bedroom window, he noticed flames shooting out from under an upsidedown vehicle.Immediately, he got up, made an emergency call and grabbed the fire extinguisher, running to the disabled car. Approaching the ...
此处省略
咚咚咚,本文精华部分闪亮登场啰！
●优质范文研读
此文从阅读改编过来,难易适中,适合各层次的学生模仿学习
At first, Surrell didn't see the black smoke or flames shooting from the windows of his neighbors' home. He and his wife were just having a dinner in their own house in Allentown. Pennsylvania, when they heard someone screaming "The house is on fire!" He went to investigate. That's when he saw two women and a girl crazily at a loss on their porch (走廊). It was his neighbor's house.
"The baby's inside there!" one of the women cried. Though the fire department had been called, Surrell, then 64, instinctively(本能地) ran inside.“The baby" was 8-year-old Tiara Roberts, who always called him Uncle Surrell. She was the woman's granddaughter and a playmate of Surrrell's three youngest kids, 8, 10, and 12. The other two on the porch were Tiara's aunt and cousin.
Entering the burning house was like running into “a bucket of black paint". The thick smoke caused Surrell to walk blindly around, burned his eyes, and made it impossible for him to breathe, He felt his throat and lungs burned, and every blink stung(蛰)his eyes. The conditions would have been very dangerous for anyone, but for Surrell, who has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (慢性阻癰性肺病) and was in hospital just half a year ago, they were life risking.
After a few minutes in the smoke-filled house searching but in vain, he ran outside to catch his breath. "Where is Tiara " he asked desperately.
"The second floor!" her aunt shouted back.
Surrell knew he couldn't hold his breath for long. So he uttered a little prayer. "Well, God, this is it. You got to help me, because I'm not coming out without that little girl."
原文大意: 64岁的Surrell某天和妻子吃饭时,突然听到门外有人在呼救。跑出去一看才发现是邻居的房子着火。糟糕的是，一个8岁的小女孩Tara还被困在里面，凶猛的火势让Sur日ell立即决定在消防车到来之前必须采取援救行动.可是他第一次冲进去毫无所获，并且自己的慢性肺病让他不得不迅速从弥漫的烟雾中退出。当他得知Tiara被困在二楼时,他还是决定要再试一次。
▲本文写作难点
1.如何描写营救场面,同时做到与原文不重复
2.冒险营救类应以丰富动作描写为主,而不该读后陷入背过的心理外表素材等套路的禁锢
▲“以点带线”读后续写情节构建法
Paragraph1:Taking a deep health, he went in a second time.
[Surrell]再次冲入火场的动作描写→新的任务:找楼梯→[the fire]火势描写-→新角度
[Surrell]营救过程→过渡Surel支撑不住昏倒
Paragraph 2:
Surrell woke up in the hospital a couple of days later.
[his family]看到Surrell醒来的欣喜描写→[Tiara]出现,解释当时失去意识后的救援结局,表达感激→[all the people]病房内大镜头描写→[结尾] Surrell的心理活动--前后呼应
Paragraph1
Taking a deep breath, he went in a second time. In the maze迷宫of flames, he _________ 睁大眼睛(动作描写) to locate the stairs (找楼梯）as the _____________灼热的heat (触觉的角度) nearly knocked him down 击倒他._________________(前后递进),so _____________残忍的was the fire that it _________发出嘶嘶声(听觉的角度) like a ______________ 张大嘴巴的怪兽(比喻), swallowing everything in its path (火势描写). _________________ (过渡), Surrell still made it to 设法到the source of the scream hovering upstairs盘旋在楼上的. _________________ (过渡),he pulled the poor girl on his back and struggled his way挣扎着out. Oh no, the ___________刀刺似的疼痛 in the lungs was nearly killing him! (呼应原文) At some point在某个时候,Surrell saw someone running closer before然后he ________________陷入昏迷. (没有心理描写)
Paragraph 2:
Surrell woke up in the hospital a couple of days later. His family were ________ on seeing him coming around苏醒过来when这时 _____________倒装 a little girl, crying “Uncle Surrell"! (呼应原文) As you could guess (与读者互动), it was Tiara, who was carried to the ambulance together with Surrell back then and _______________________ 让大家欣慰的是,she was in good health except for being _________by smoke. She held his hands in her __________胖乎乎的手掌心and wouldn't stop asking about his conditions.Soon, the ward病房________________ 充满pleasant laughs when the other kids (呼应原文) showed up.Silently, Surrell whispered deep down in his heart, “Dear Lord, thank you for making the ____________ happen." (与上帝对话,呼应原文)
●更多营救冒险动作描写
1.扔 _________________________: cast one end of the rope over to me/fling/flung a brick through the window
(throw/toss/fling/cast)
2.拖 __________________________: haul himself to his feet 吃力地站了起来
(pull/draw/haul/drag)
3.爬__________________________: clamber up the steep bank 爬上陡峭的河岸
(climb/clamber/creep/claw)
4.扭动 ____________: wriggle free of my grasp 从我的手中扭着身子逃脱了
(twist/wriggle)
5.抓,握 __________________________ sth. (tightly/firmly): grab his hand and run
(grasp/grab/seize/grip/clutch)
●实战演练
The event that stands out in Tom's memory happened one morning when Tom was only ten years old. He was at home with his elder sister,Jane. Tom was doing his homework when he heard raised voices. At first he thought nothing of it since customers in the motorcycle shop directly below their flat often became loud but he soon realized this time it was different.
"Quick! Quick! Remove the motorcycles from the shop, "someone yelled.
Then a thick burning smell filled the air. When Tom opened the front door of their flat to investigate, a thick cloud of smoke greeted him.The motorcycle shop had caught fire and people were running and crying.
Jane, who had been playing the violin in her room, hurried to the living room.They rushed out of the door and along the corridor(走廓) through the smoke.
They were heading towards the stairway at the far end of the corridor when Jane stopped in her track She turned around and headed back the way they came.Tom had no idea what she was doing, but he followed her.
Jane had suddenly remembered the lady in her 70s who lived next door to them, who they called Makcik Malay for auntie .lane began banging on Makcik's door but got no answer.As the smoke thickened around them, Tom could see many of their neighbors—some still in their pyjamas (睡衣)--running for safety. The thought of fear crossed his mind.
“She might have run for safety like everyone else!” Tom cried.However, Jane refused to give up."1 know Makcik still inside." she said he was familiar with Makcik’s daily routine and was certain she would still be sleeping.She pounded at the door. "Go downstairs. Go now Go!"
Paragraph 1:Tom noticed the flame was reaching up.…....
Paragraph 2:Luckily,some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help....
优质范文1
Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. ____________, he stood rooted to the spot.He ___________ the gravity of the situation and held Jane’s hand tightly. By then, both of them were coughing and their eyes were stinging.Time seemed to ___________, though they were probably there for only two or three minutes. Tom begged Jane to run for safety as quickly as possible.Jane tried to _________her nose from the __________ smoke and shook her head.She kept
_________________ the door. Tom burst out crying.
Luckily, some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help. A sense of strength immediately __________ the ___________ fear and anxiety in Jane's mind. She told them Makcik must be still in the room.They forced the door open with all their might. _____________, Makcik was lying in bed,__________. She was carried downstairs and then rushed to the hospital, where she finally __________________. People in the neighborhood felt relieved and Jane and Tom’s joy was immense.
●范文语言学习
1.因为害怕,某人如同钉在地上。
Frozen with fear, sb stood rooted to the spot.
2.咳嗽,眼睛刺痛
sb was coughing and the eyes were stung
3.捂住鼻子,挡住呛人的烟雾。
sb shielded (covered) one’s nose from the choking smoke.
4.不省人事;昏迷
unconscious
5.恢复过来;醒过来
come to oneself
优质范文2
Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. It sounded like a wild animal was _________ at them. Within seconds , the corridor was full of choking smoke. It ________ their eyes and left them _______ for breath. At this point, Tom began to panic, for he could barely make out his sister through the smoke.Coughing and rubbing his eyes, he _______________ beside her, not knowing what to do.Totally ______________ by fear, he was close to tears.But Jane kept pounding on the door and shouted，"Quick! Open the door! The flat is on fire...”
Luckily, some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help. Together they pounded at the door with their fists.After trying ___________ to wake up the old lady, they managed to break it down. ________________, Jane and Tom rushed in, followed by their neighbors, only to find Makcik lying unconscious in bed. In record time, they carried her out, headed towards the stairway, and then dashed downstairs. _____________________! When the fire fighters came to their rescue, all of them ________________________. What made Tom proud was that a few days later, his elder sister was given an award for her bravery and quick action.
●范文语言学习
1.大火听起来如同野兽一样，对他们咆哮。
It sounded like a wild animal was roaring at them.
2.充满的了呛人的烟雾
be full of choking smoke
3.烟雾刺痛双眼，他们只能大口喘气。
The smoke stung their eyes and left them gasping for breath
4.揉眼睛 rub one’s eyes
5.蹲下来 crouch down
6.试着做某事失败了
sb try in vain to do sth / sb try to sth but in vain
●和火相关的场景描写
▲相关短语:
1.roaring呼啸的 / flickering闪烁的/hungry flames
2.thick / strong / acrid刺鼻的smell of the smoke
3. _______横扫 / ________包围 / ________爆炸 / ______吞食 everything in its path
4._____________充满the air 使空气窒息
5.sth. be _______________耗尽/烧尽in flames
▲火灾场景的火势描写:
1.The house was bathed in an immense stream of flame.
2.The roaring fire swallowed the whole house.
3.The house was lit up by the violent fire.
4.The blaze probably consumed countless pieces of Brazil's cultural relics.
5.The ferocious fire ripped through her bungalow, reducing it to ashes.
▲火灾场景的浓烟描写:
1.浓烟呛得他快窒息了。
He was nearly _______________ by the thick smoke.
2.浓烟差点把他熏倒。
The smoke was overwhelming which almost _______________.
3.浓烟遮蔽了他的视线,他跌跌撞撞地摸索着前进。
Blinded by the dense smoke, he stumbled to ______________.
4.他觉得喉咙和肺火辣辣的,同时每一眨眼都刺痛他的眼睛。
He felt his throat and lungs burned, every blink _________ (sting) his eyes.
5.迎着热浪,他竭尽全力往上爬。
Met by intense heat, he ___________ to scramble upwards. struggled
▲火灾场景的听觉描写：
1.We heard the __________(explode) of the gas tank mixed with the _______ (noise) sounds from shattering windows.
2.The air was filled with thick, black smoke, the sounds of _______ (siren), people
____________ (scream) and glass breaking.
3.The housekeeper had come _________ (pound) on her door, screaming, ________
(beat) on the wood.
4.People were leaning out of windows and balconies, ________ (call) for help.
●小情景练习：
▲翻译:
1.丹尼斯正在家熟睡的时候,突然一个很大的声音把他吵醒了。
_______________________________________
2.他从卧室的窗户向外看去,注意到一辆翻倒的车下窜出火焰。
______________________________________
3.他起床,打了一个紧急电话,抓起灭火器,跑向那辆不能动的汽车。
____________________________________
(He got up,made an emergency call and grabbed the fire extinguisher,
running to the disabled car.)
4.接近那辆车,眼前情况让他非常震惊,一名年轻男子被卡在车内,明显很疼痛。
______________________________________
5.丹尼斯毫不犹豫地开始行动.灭火器连续喷了两下,火被扑灭了。
______________________________________
6.他告诉年轻人不要动,以防止他伤着他的脖子。
_______________________________________
7.不久,医生们来了,丹尼斯感到非常欣慰.
____________________________________
▲衔接美文
将以上各句合并成小短文并背诵成文，注意使用合适的衔接过渡词汇。
One possible version!
Dennis was sleeping soundly at home when a loud sound woke him up. Looking out of his bedroom window, he noticed flames shooting out from under an upsidedown vehicle.Immediately, he got up, made an emergency call and grabbed the fire extinguisher, running to the disabled car. Approaching the ...
此处省略
咚咚咚,本文精华部分闪亮登场啰！
●优质范文研读
此文从阅读改编过来,难易适中,适合各层次的学生模仿学习
At first, Surrell didn't see the black smoke or flames shooting from the windows of his neighbors' home. He and his wife were just having a dinner in their own house in Allentown. Pennsylvania, when they heard someone screaming "The house is on fire!" He went to investigate. That's when he saw two women and a girl crazily at a loss on their porch (走廊). It was his neighbor's house.
"The baby's inside there!" one of the women cried. Though the fire department had been called, Surrell, then 64, instinctively(本能地) ran inside.“The baby" was 8-year-old Tiara Roberts, who always called him Uncle Surrell. She was the woman's granddaughter and a playmate of Surrrell's three youngest kids, 8, 10, and 12. The other two on the porch were Tiara's aunt and cousin.
Entering the burning house was like running into “a bucket of black paint". The thick smoke caused Surrell to walk blindly around, burned his eyes, and made it impossible for him to breathe, He felt his throat and lungs burned, and every blink stung(蛰)his eyes. The conditions would have been very dangerous for anyone, but for Surrell, who has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (慢性阻癰性肺病) and was in hospital just half a year ago, they were life risking.
After a few minutes in the smoke-filled house searching but in vain, he ran outside to catch his breath. "Where is Tiara " he asked desperately.
"The second floor!" her aunt shouted back.
Surrell knew he couldn't hold his breath for long. So he uttered a little prayer. "Well, God, this is it. You got to help me, because I'm not coming out without that little girl."
原文大意: 64岁的Surrell某天和妻子吃饭时,突然听到门外有人在呼救。跑出去一看才发现是邻居的房子着火。糟糕的是，一个8岁的小女孩Tara还被困在里面，凶猛的火势让Sur日ell立即决定在消防车到来之前必须采取援救行动.可是他第一次冲进去毫无所获，并且自己的慢性肺病让他不得不迅速从弥漫的烟雾中退出。当他得知Tiara被困在二楼时,他还是决定要再试一次。
▲本文写作难点
1.如何描写营救场面,同时做到与原文不重复
2.冒险营救类应以丰富动作描写为主,而不该读后陷入背过的心理外表素材等套路的禁锢
▲“以点带线”读后续写情节构建法
Paragraph1:Taking a deep health, he went in a second time.
[Surrell]再次冲入火场的动作描写→新的任务:找楼梯→[the fire]火势描写-→新角度
[Surrell]营救过程→过渡Surel支撑不住昏倒
Paragraph 2:
Surrell woke up in the hospital a couple of days later.
[his family]看到Surrell醒来的欣喜描写→[Tiara]出现,解释当时失去意识后的救援结局,表达感激→[all the people]病房内大镜头描写→[结尾] Surrell的心理活动--前后呼应
Paragraph1
Taking a deep breath, he went in a second time. In the maze迷宫of flames, he _________ 睁大眼睛(动作描写) to locate the stairs (找楼梯）as the _____________灼热的heat (触觉的角度) nearly knocked him down 击倒他._________________(前后递进),so _____________残忍的was the fire that it _________发出嘶嘶声(听觉的角度) like a ______________ 张大嘴巴的怪兽(比喻), swallowing everything in its path (火势描写). _________________ (过渡), Surrell still made it to 设法到the source of the scream hovering upstairs盘旋在楼上的. _________________ (过渡),he pulled the poor girl on his back and struggled his way挣扎着out. Oh no, the ___________刀刺似的疼痛 in the lungs was nearly killing him! (呼应原文) At some point在某个时候,Surrell saw someone running closer before然后he ________________陷入昏迷. (没有心理描写)
Paragraph 2:
Surrell woke up in the hospital a couple of days later. His family were ________ on seeing him coming around苏醒过来when这时 _____________倒装 a little girl, crying “Uncle Surrell"! (呼应原文) As you could guess (与读者互动), it was Tiara, who was carried to the ambulance together with Surrell back then and _______________________ 让大家欣慰的是,she was in good health except for being _________by smoke. She held his hands in her __________胖乎乎的手掌心and wouldn't stop asking about his conditions.Soon, the ward病房________________ 充满pleasant laughs when the other kids (呼应原文) showed up.Silently, Surrell whispered deep down in his heart, “Dear Lord, thank you for making the ____________ happen." (与上帝对话,呼应原文)
●更多营救冒险动作描写
1.扔 _________________________: cast one end of the rope over to me/fling/flung a brick through the window
(throw/toss/fling/cast)
2.拖 __________________________: haul himself to his feet 吃力地站了起来
(pull/draw/haul/drag)
3.爬__________________________: clamber up the steep bank 爬上陡峭的河岸
(climb/clamber/creep/claw)
4.扭动 ____________: wriggle free of my grasp 从我的手中扭着身子逃脱了
(twist/wriggle)
5.抓,握 __________________________ sth. (tightly/firmly): grab his hand and run
(grasp/grab/seize/grip/clutch)
●实战演练
The event that stands out in Tom's memory happened one morning when Tom was only ten years old. He was at home with his elder sister,Jane. Tom was doing his homework when he heard raised voices. At first he thought nothing of it since customers in the motorcycle shop directly below their flat often became loud but he soon realized this time it was different.
"Quick! Quick! Remove the motorcycles from the shop, "someone yelled.
Then a thick burning smell filled the air. When Tom opened the front door of their flat to investigate, a thick cloud of smoke greeted him.The motorcycle shop had caught fire and people were running and crying.
Jane, who had been playing the violin in her room, hurried to the living room.They rushed out of the door and along the corridor(走廓) through the smoke.
They were heading towards the stairway at the far end of the corridor when Jane stopped in her track She turned around and headed back the way they came.Tom had no idea what she was doing, but he followed her.
Jane had suddenly remembered the lady in her 70s who lived next door to them, who they called Makcik Malay for auntie .lane began banging on Makcik's door but got no answer.As the smoke thickened around them, Tom could see many of their neighbors—some still in their pyjamas (睡衣)--running for safety. The thought of fear crossed his mind.
“She might have run for safety like everyone else!” Tom cried.However, Jane refused to give up."1 know Makcik still inside." she said he was familiar with Makcik’s daily routine and was certain she would still be sleeping.She pounded at the door. "Go downstairs. Go now Go!"
Paragraph 1:Tom noticed the flame was reaching up.…....
Paragraph 2:Luckily,some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help....
优质范文1
Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. ____________, he stood rooted to the spot.He ___________ the gravity of the situation and held Jane’s hand tightly. By then, both of them were coughing and their eyes were stinging.Time seemed to ___________, though they were probably there for only two or three minutes. Tom begged Jane to run for safety as quickly as possible.Jane tried to _________her nose from the __________ smoke and shook her head.She kept
_________________ the door. Tom burst out crying.
Luckily, some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help. A sense of strength immediately __________ the ___________ fear and anxiety in Jane's mind. She told them Makcik must be still in the room.They forced the door open with all their might. _____________, Makcik was lying in bed,__________. She was carried downstairs and then rushed to the hospital, where she finally __________________. People in the neighborhood felt relieved and Jane and Tom’s joy was immense.
●范文语言学习
1.因为害怕,某人如同钉在地上。
Frozen with fear, sb stood rooted to the spot.
2.咳嗽,眼睛刺痛
sb was coughing and the eyes were stung
3.捂住鼻子,挡住呛人的烟雾。
sb shielded (covered) one’s nose from the choking smoke.
4.不省人事;昏迷
unconscious
5.恢复过来;醒过来
come to oneself
优质范文2
Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. It sounded like a wild animal was _________ at them. Within seconds , the corridor was full of choking smoke. It ________ their eyes and left them _______ for breath. At this point, Tom began to panic, for he could barely make out his sister through the smoke.Coughing and rubbing his eyes, he _______________ beside her, not knowing what to do.Totally ______________ by fear, he was close to tears.But Jane kept pounding on the door and shouted，"Quick! Open the door! The flat is on fire...”
Luckily, some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help. Together they pounded at the door with their fists.After trying ___________ to wake up the old lady, they managed to break it down. ________________, Jane and Tom rushed in, followed by their neighbors, only to find Makcik lying unconscious in bed. In record time, they carried her out, headed towards the stairway, and then dashed downstairs. _____________________! When the fire fighters came to their rescue, all of them ________________________. What made Tom proud was that a few days later, his elder sister was given an award for her bravery and quick action.
●范文语言学习
1.大火听起来如同野兽一样，对他们咆哮。
It sounded like a wild animal was roaring at them.
2.充满的了呛人的烟雾
be full of choking smoke
3.烟雾刺痛双眼，他们只能大口喘气。
The smoke stung their eyes and left them gasping for breath
4.揉眼睛 rub one’s eyes
5.蹲下来 crouch down
6.试着做某事失败了
sb try in vain to do sth / sb try to sth but in vain