2023年高考英语真题（全国I卷）续写解读分析 学案

中小学教育资源及组卷应用平台
2023年高考I卷续写解析
写作第二节（满分25分）阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。 When I was in middle school, my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest. I said no without thinking. I did not love writing. My family came from Brazil, so English was only my second language. Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play, where I played all the parts. No one laughed harder than he did. So, why did he suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail His reply: “Because I love your stories. If you’re willing to apply yourself, I think you have a good shot at this.” Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try. I chose Paul Revere’s horse as my subject. Paul Revere was a silversmith (银匠) in Boston who rode a horse at night on April 18, 1775 to Lexington to warn people that British soldiers were coming. My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth. Not a brilliant idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice. What did the horse think, as he sped through the night Did he get tired Have doubts Did he want to quit I sympathized immediately. I got tired. I had doubts. I wanted to quit. But, like Revere’s horse, I kept going. I worked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my older sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them. When I handed in the essay to my teacher, he read it, laughed out loud, and said, “Great. Now, write it again.” I wrote it again, and again and again. When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing. If I didn’t win, I wouldn’t care. 注意: 1. 续写词数应为150个左右；2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news. ____________________________________________I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation. ____________________________________________ 【解析】本题要求读完所给的材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之够成一篇完整的短文。【原文分析】本体所给材料：我上中学的时候，社会学老师邀请我参加一个写作比赛。虽然我不喜欢写作，但在老师的鼓励下，我同意试一试。我在写作过程中虽然很累，但是没有放弃。为了完成这次写作，我请别人帮忙，还借阅了书籍，重写了若干遍。在最终完成写作时，我感到写作很快乐，我已经不在乎输赢了。【段落开头语分析】第一段开头语：几个星期后，当我几乎忘记比赛的时候，传来了消息。由此判断，应该是比赛的结果产生了。根据第二段开头语：颁奖后我去了老师的办公室，可知我获奖了。通过合理的因果分析，获得了什么奖？自己怎么想？周围的人什么反应？颁奖典礼应该什么情况？怎么和第二段开头语产生联系？因此，第一段内容就应该写：出乎意料的获奖，自己的心情和大家的反应，出席颁奖典礼。
第二段开头语：颁奖后我去了老师的办公室。老师会怎么说？我会表达什么？老师对我有什么影响？那么第二段内容就应该写：我的感谢，老师鼓励我继续写作，我的进步都是老师的影响。
【应试点拨】：1. 续写第一个环节就是要分析原文。首先要明白各段的大意和联系。尤其对于故事的背景和情节的发展，以及高潮或问题的出现。在这个过程中，我们要划出一些关键的信息。比如：人物的心理变化、人物的性格特点，等等。在续写中一些信息是不能出错的，比如人名、性别、性别、人物关系、人物性格特点；但有些细节是要变的，比如心理活动，解决问题的方式方法等。在这篇文章中，我的心理活动和心理变化是同学们要关注的：从不喜欢，找替代方式，不愿参加比赛，到想努力写好，一遍遍改写，感受到了乐趣。 2. 续写第二步要研究两段开头语的提示和原文一些情节的因果关系，并且要推测开头语后的逻辑关系和内容。常问一句，为什么？会怎样？其实就是找因果，推测要在每一段中要交代清楚哪些内容。还有特别注意，第一段最后要和第二段的开头语产生逻辑上的关联。比如本题的两段开头语，消息传来，同学们要问一句，什么消息？产生什么效果？我的感受？等等。比如，第一段最后要关联到那位老师，才能和第二段的开头语产生关联，所以，要提及我是怎么想起老师的。再比如，第二段，我见到老师后，同学们要问：老师会怎么说？什么表情？我怎么说？什么感想？通过这种找因果的思路，确定各段要表达的内容。 3. 安排层次写简单提纲。一般在安排层次时，根据经验三层最合适，最容易控制情节发展和词数。提一个简单的窍门：三层因果不加戏，因果清晰正能量。不加戏就是不要增加过多的人物和曲折，不要脑洞大开展开联想。因果清晰就是要从原文的情节和两段开头语的提示中找因果关系，以解决故事中的问题。 4. 扩写提纲，添加连接词，构成合乎要求的短文。每一层最好开展成两长一短的句子，容易形成较完整的情节，比如对话的一个回合，比如心理活动的一个起伏，比如一个解决问题的方法的尝试过程，等等。在考场上一般没有时间打草稿，这就要求同学们打提纲，扩写提纲过程中注意层次之间的连接、转折等，用好连接词。 5. 对于提升文章的质量，使用一些教高级的词汇和句式，一定要服务于表达的需要。平时的练习要注重词汇的积累和选择，要练习使用复合句和非谓语形式为文章添彩。【原文译文】当我在中学的时候，我的社会学老师让我参加一个写作比赛。我想都没想就拒绝了。我不喜欢写作。我的家庭来自巴西，所以英语只是我的第二语言。写作对我来说是如此困难和痛苦，以至于我的老师曾允许我通过表演一个剧本来展示我关于泰坦尼克号沉没的论文，我在剧中扮演所有的角色。谁都没他笑得厉害。那么，为什么他突然强迫我做一件我肯定会失败的事情呢 他回答说:“因为我喜欢你的故事。如果你愿意努力，我认为你很有可能做成此事。”受到他的话的鼓舞，我同意试一试。我选择保罗·里维尔的马作为我的主题。保罗·里维尔是波士顿的一名银匠，1775年4月18日晚上，他骑着马到莱克星敦去警告人们英国士兵要来了。我的故事将通过马嘴来讲述。不是个好主意，但很有趣;而且别人不太可能选择这么做。马在黑夜中疾驰时在想什么呢 他累了吗 有质疑吗 他想退出吗 我立刻表示了同情。我累了。我有质疑。我想退出。但是，就像里维尔的马一样，我继续前进。我工作很努力。我检查了我的拼写。我请姐姐纠正我的语法。我从图书馆借出了六本关于保罗·里维尔的书。我甚至读了一些书的内容。当我把文章交给老师时，他读了后大笑起来，说:“太好了。现在，再写一遍。”我写了一遍又一遍。当我最终完成时，获胜的念头已经让位于写作的乐趣。即便我不会获奖，我也不在乎。 【词汇】一等奖：the first prize 宣布结果：announce the result激动：excited, thrilled, stirred出乎意料：unexpected, beyond my expectation 羡慕：admire, envy, 出席：attend, appear, present感谢：grateful, gratitude, thankful鼓励：encourage, inspire归功于：owe---to---【提纲】 1. The announcement showed I got the first prize, which quite beyond my expectation. 2. My classmates surprised. 3. The day of the award presentation I owed it to my social studies teacher. 4. I expressed my gratitude. 5. He congratulated me and encouraged me. 6. The teacher’s influence still guide me to continue my writing.【范文】A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news. The announcement showed I got the first prize. I firstly felt thrilled as the outcome was beyond my expectation, but soon, I fell calm and peaceful. After all, what rewarded me most was the enjoyment in the procedure. But the first prize did stirred the class. How could they believe one got the first prize, one who presented a paper by playing a play, which invited a good laughter. Afterwards, my speech at the award presentation gave the answer: my hard work and the teacher’s inspiration, which reminded me to say thanks to the teacher. I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation. I was greeted with a smiling face and congratulations. “Now you have learned how to write.” he joked, “ But I guess you will write more first prizes, I like your interesting stories.” I smiled and expressed my gratitude, saying I owed the first prize to him, especially his acceptance at the beginning and encouragement for me to go on. Recalling my writing experience, without the teacher, I won’t step willingly onto the road of writing. The good teacher’s influence will accompany me along my whole life.