-2024届高三英语写作专项2023年1月浙江读后续写解析讲义（PDF版）

2023年 1月浙江续写
I was invited to a cookout on an old friend's farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the
farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a
window caught my attention, so I entered it. It was a hummingbird(蜂鸟), desperately trying to escape. She
was covered in spider-webs(蛛网)and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant
I picked her up.
With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window
glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside, closing the door
securely behind me.
When I opened my hand, the bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes. I
removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still, she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps
she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired Or too thirsty
As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she began to
move. I stopped, and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away.
Hovering(悬停 ), she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment, this tiny
creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side. Then she flew quickly out of sight.
During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window.
As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to
the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She
again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call and was gone. For a moment, all were
speechless. Then someone said, “She must have come to say goodbye.”
P1: A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.
P2: I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.
【文章基本要素】
背景设定：讲述者受邀参加在华盛顿州西部一个老朋友农场举行的烧烤聚会。讲述者在农场外停
车，走过一个显然已经多年未使用的挤奶房。
事件起因：讲述者注意到窗户处的噪音，于是走进去查看。原来是一只蜂鸟，正拼命地试图逃脱，
身上覆盖着蛛网，几乎无法移动翅膀。
情节发展：讲述者拯救了这只蜂鸟，发现她是通过破碎的窗户玻璃进入的，然后将她带到室外，
安全地关闭了门。
高潮：当讲述者打开手掌时，蜂鸟并没有立即飞走，而是坐着用明亮的眼睛看着他。讲述者帮助
清理她头部和翅膀上的蛛网。
转折点：在回到车边的路上，蜂鸟开始移动。她先是飞离，然后悬停在讲述者面前，彼此深深凝
视。
情节回落：在烧烤期间，讲述者向朋友们讲述了这次遭遇，他们承诺修理窗户。当讲述者离开时，
蜂鸟再次出现，飞到他们中间，并再次直视讲述者。
结局：几周后，讲述者再次访问农场。在同样的路上，他感到一种预期感。农场生机勃勃，一切
都比以前更加充满活力。朋友们热情地迎接他，他们共度下午，分享故事，享受宁静的环境。窗户已
被修理好，蜂鸟还在附近飞翔。当讲述者准备离开时，蜂鸟再次出现，飞向他并在他面前盘旋，仿佛
在与他告别。
这个故事的核心是人与自然的深厚联系，以及生活中简单时刻的美丽和奇迹。讲述者通过与蜂鸟
的这些特殊互动，体验到与自然的深刻连接，这将成为他永远珍藏的回忆。
【词块积累】
1 desperately trying to - 拼命尝试着
2 be barely able to - 勉强能够
3 cease her struggle - 停止了她的挣扎
4 the instant I picked her up - 我一把抓起她的瞬间
5 in my cupped hand - 在我合起的手中
6 the likely answer - 可能的答案
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7 stuff a piece of cloth into the hole - 把一块布塞进洞里
8 sticky spider-webs - 粘性的蜘蛛网
9 turn her head from side to side - 把头从一边转到另一边
10 let out a squeaking call - 发出尖叫声
【续写提纲】
Para. 1 "A few weeks later, I went to the farm again."
1 Revisiting the farm - 描述重返农场的情景（农场的景象，气氛，个人情感）。
2 Reflections on the past encounter - 回顾之前与蜂鸟的邂逅（内心的感受，对蜂鸟的思念）。
3 Observations and changes - 注意到的变化（农场的新变化，挤奶房窗户的修复，自然环境
的描述）。
4 Anticipation and hope - 对再次见到蜂鸟的期待和希望（内心的期盼，对蜂鸟可能出现的
想象）。
Para. 2 "I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared."
1 The unexpected encounter - 描述蜂鸟突然出现的情景（蜂鸟的动作，表情，环境的反应）。
2 Emotional response - 对蜂鸟再次出现的情感反应（惊喜，喜悦，内心的感动）。
3 The interaction with the hummingbird - 与蜂鸟的互动（蜂鸟的行为，与蜂鸟的非语言交流，
周围人的反应）。
4 Reflection on the moment - 对这一刻的反思（对这次遭遇的意义的思考，与之前经历的联
系，对自然和生命的感悟）。
【协同点】
① cookout：可以在文章第一段中描述“我”因为另一个 cookout而再次访问农场。例如，可以
写“我”被邀请参加另一次的户外烧烤，因此有机会再次访问这个地方。例：As I returned to the farm
for another cookout with friends, I couldn't help but reminisce about the last visit and the extraordinary
encounter with the hummingbird.
② I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house：可以在续写的第一段中描述
“我”再次停车在农场外，并经过牛奶房的情景。例：I parked my car in the same spot outside the farm,
the familiarity of the place bringing a smile to my face. As I walked past the old milking house, now fixed, I
wondered if I'd see my tiny friend again.
③ A noise at a window caught my attention：在续写中，可以设置一个类似的声音或事件来吸引“我”
的注意，从而自然地将“我”带回到与蜂鸟相遇的地点。例：Just as I was about to walk away, a soft rustling
from the milking house caught my attention, echoing the past experience and drawing me towards it with a
sense of déjà vu（似曾相识的感觉）.
④ The broken window glass was the likely answer：可以在故事中提及牛奶房的窗户现在已经修复，
这是对原始情节的一个直接联系和更新。例：Passing the milking house, I glanced at the window, now
mended, a subtle reminder of how our last encounter began.
⑤ She was covered in spider-webs and was barely able to move her wings：可以在续写中回忆或提及
蜂鸟先前被蛛网缠绕的情形【窗子被修复，但是蛛网有可能再生】。例如，在文章中可以提到“我”
在农场散步时注意到蛛网，这让“我”回想起了那只小蜂鸟的第一次遭遇。例：Walking through the farm,
I noticed spider-webs glistening in the sun, reminding me of the day I found the hummingbird trapped and
helpless.
⑥ Hovering, she approached within six inches of my face：在故事中可以再次创造一种亲近的交流
时刻，比如蜂鸟再次靠近“我”，与“我”进行非语言的交流。例：As I lingered near the milking house,
a familiar fluttering sound approached, and there she was, hovering close, as if to acknowledge our shared
past.
⑦ The bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes：在续写中，可以再次描绘蜂
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鸟与人物之间的这种深刻的、几乎是理解的眼神交流。例如，在故事的高潮部分，可以让蜂鸟再次静
静地坐在“我”的手上，用它那明亮的眼睛直视“我”。例：As I stood silently, the hummingbird settled on my
open palm once more, gazing into my eyes with a depth of understanding that transcended words.
⑧ As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path：可以在故事中重新引入这条布满黑莓的小径，作为
一个重要的场景。例如，可以描述“我”在同一条小径上发现或体验到一些新的或有意义的事情。例：
Wandering down the blackberry-lined path, memories of carrying the tiny bird along this very route filled
my heart with warmth and nostalgia.
【相关语料】
I 回顾之前与蜂鸟的邂逅（内心的感受，对蜂鸟的思念）
1 The memory of the hummingbird, with its delicate wings and curious gaze, lingered in
my mind like a sweet melody.
蜂鸟那细腻的翅膀和好奇的目光在我的脑海中徘徊，如同一曲甜美的旋律。
2 I often found myself lost in thought, recalling the gentle flutter of her wings and the way
she looked into my eyes. -
我常常陷入沉思，回忆起她翅膀的轻盈拍动和她那深入我眼底的目光。
3 The image of the hummingbird, hovering in the air with such grace and agility, became a
symbol of freedom and resilience in my mind.
蜂鸟在空中优雅、敏捷地悬停的形象，在我的心中成为了自由和韧性的象征。
II 描述蜂鸟突然出现的情景（蜂鸟的动作，表情，环境的反应）
1 Out of the blue, the hummingbird zipped into view, her wings a blur of iridescent motion
against the backdrop of the sky.- 突然间，蜂鸟闪现在视野中，她的翅膀在天空的背景下成为一道闪烁
的彩色光影。
2 Her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she darted around, exploring her surroundings with
an energetic grace. - 她的眼睛闪烁着好奇的光芒，她四处飞掠，以充满活力的优雅探索着周围的环境。
3 The sunlight caught her feathers, creating a prism of colors that danced around her tiny
form. - 阳光照在她的羽毛上，形成了围绕着她微小身躯的一圈彩色光晕。
III 与蜂鸟的互动（蜂鸟的行为，与蜂鸟的非语言交流，周围人的反应）
1 Her tiny feet grazed my palm, a feather-light touch that sent a ripple of excitement
through me." - 她的小脚轻轻擦过我的掌心，这种轻如羽毛的触觉让我兴奋不已。
2 Around us, people stopped to watch, captivated by the rare interaction, their expressions
a mix of wonder and delight. - 我们周围的人停下来观看，被这罕见的互动所吸引，他们的表情是惊奇
和愉悦的混合。
3 She chirped softly, a melodic sound that seemed to be her way of communicating, and I
responded with a gentle smile. - 她轻声啁啾，发出旋律般的声音，似乎是她交流的方式，我则以温柔
的微笑回应。
4 The hummingbird's dance around me felt like a gift, a brief but profound connection
with nature's delicate beauty. - 蜂鸟围绕我飞舞的感觉就像一份礼物，与自然的精致美丽建立了短暂但
深刻的联系。
IV 对这一刻的反思（对这次遭遇的意义的思考，与之前经历的联系，对自然和生命的感悟）
1 This second visit, this unexpected reunion, felt like a gentle reminder from nature about the
interconnectedness of all living things. - 这第二次的访问，这次意外的重逢，就像是自然界关于所有生物
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相互连接的温柔提醒。
2 As I left the farm, the encounter with the hummingbird lingered in my mind, a symbol of
hope and the enduring magic of the natural world. - 当我离开农场时，与蜂鸟的邂逅在我的脑海中挥之不
去，它是希望和自然界持久魔力的象征。
3 In the quiet moments that followed, I found myself reflecting on the delicate balance of
nature and our role within it. - 在随后的安静时刻，我发现自己在反思自然的微妙平衡及我们在其中的角色。
【参考范文 1】
A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. The memory of the hummingbird had stayed with me,
and I was curious to see if she would appear once more. As I walked through the same blackberry-lined path,
I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation（预料；预期）. The farm was alive with the sounds of nature,
and everything seemed more vibrant （充满生机的；生气勃勃的） than before. My friends greeted me
warmly, and we spent the afternoon sharing stories and enjoying the serene （平静的） environment. The
broken window had been fixed, and they mentioned seeing the hummingbird around, much to my delight.
I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. It was like a scene from a fairytale; she
flew directly towards me, her wings a blur （模糊） of motion. Hovering （盘旋） in front of me, she
seemed to acknowledge me with a gentle nod, her tiny eyes sparkling with recognition. This magical
encounter left everyone around me in awe （敬畏；惊叹）. As she flew away, her bright colors glinting (闪
烁） in the sunlight, I felt a profound sense of connection with nature. It was a reminder of the beauty and
wonder that can be found in the simplest of moments, and a memory that I would cherish forever.
【参考范文 2】
A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. The place was as serene as ever, with the gentle hum（嗡
嗡声；嘈杂声）of nature surrounding me. As I walked past the milking house, now with its window fixed, I
couldn't help but think of the little hummingbird. The incident had left a profound impact on me, reminding
me of the fragility（脆弱；虚弱）and beauty of life. I wandered around the farm, lost in thought, appreciating
the simple beauty of the countryside.
I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. It was as if she had been waiting for me.
She hovered in front of me, her wings beating rapidly, creating a soft, mesmerizing （迷人的） sound. Our
eyes met, and in that moment, there was a sense of recognition, a silent acknowledgment of the bond we had
formed. She fluttered（挥动；振翅） around me for a few seconds before soaring（ 高飞；翱翔）high into
the sky, leaving me with a feeling of joy and an unforgettable memory that I would cherish forever.
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