-2024届高考英语作文复习专项读后续写个人成长类--智慧师者使偷表学生成长为优秀教师 讲义
文档属性
| 名称 | -2024届高考英语作文复习专项读后续写个人成长类--智慧师者使偷表学生成长为优秀教师 讲义 |  | |
| 格式 | docx | ||
| 文件大小 | 24.0KB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
| 版本资源 | 通用版 | ||
| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2024-02-18 11:03:19 | ||
图片预览
文档简介
真题：
After an exhausting day. Jack wandered in the street, smiling while thinking of his students. Jack was a respectable and considerate teacher while his students took good care of him, too.
Suddenly, a familiar figure flashed into Jack’s eyes. It was Mark, his junior high school teacher. With thrill, Jack dashed forward, greeting enthusiastically, “Mark, how are you ” Taking out his presbyopia (老花镜), Mark studied the passionate young man in front of him, hesitated for a moment, and got confused, “Sorry Have we met before ”
Not disappointed at all, Jack introduced himself in delight, "Sorry, Mark. I'm Jack Smith, from Class 2, Grade 8, graduating from Kevin Junior High School in 2001. Now I'm a teacher. Hearing the words, Mark was puzzled but also delighted, asking a series of questions, “Why can't I remember you Are you a teacher now " In spite of poor eyesight, Mark did have such a brilliant memory that he could even remember almost all his students.
“Well, in fact, you only took charge of our class for only one day, and something happened that day. I became a teacher because of your inspiration.”
The old Mark, curious, kept raising questions such as when they met, how he had inspired him to be a teacher, and so on.
“One day, a friend of mine came in with a nice new watch. I was so crazy about it that I decided to take it and I did. After a short while, my friend found it disappear and immediately reported to the teacher, you, who happened to be in charge of our class for that day because our teacher was ill”
A mixture of emotions floated in Jack's eyes on recalling the shameful history. That day, Mark came and told the whole class that someone in the class could not find his watch and whoever took it, please return it. Jack was too frightened to hand it in.
Then, Mark closed the door and told all students to get up. _____________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
But Mark kept searching everyone's pockets. ________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
故事背景：
本篇读后续写文本主要讲Jack成为一名体贴周到深受学生爱戴的老师，有一天在街上遇到高中时期的老师Mark。Jack很激动，告诉Mark，Mark在高二当过Jack所在班级一天的代课老师，那天发生的事情促使Jack决心成为一名老师。两人回忆当时的情景。原来，那天Jack偷了一位同学的手表，Mark没有当众揭发Jack，他考虑周全的处理方式使Jack深受感动，决心将来成为像Mark一样的老师。文章主题是一位有人格魅力的老师对学生的影响，文章采用倒叙的方式展开，可读性强，续写方向较多，但在保证与原文的融洽度方面有一定难度。
情节分析：
通过P1--“Then, Mark closed the door and told all students to get up.”和P2 --“But Mark kept searching everyone's pockets.”中的but，我们知道，第一段的核心内容是“search”，Mark搜查的过程以及Jack被老师查到手表后的反应是什么；
第二段，根据“kept”，我们知道搜查还在继续，这是为了保全Jack的尊严；当然搜查完肯定要有一个定论。
这里其实有两种写法，第一：宣布我搜到了，谁偷的自己来自首；第二：搞错了，都不是我们班同学拿的，然后若无其事的上课。
我个人更偏向于第二种写法，因为在文章的开头有一句描述Jack人物形象的句子--Jack was a respectable and considerate teacher，受人尊重和考虑周到；而下文关键句--I became a teacher because of your inspiration，我是因为受到了你的启发才成为了老师。这说明两点，第一，Mark本身也是一个respectable and considerate的老师；第二，对于这件事的处理方式要能体现这一人物性格；
那么第二段中除了写本次事件得到了巧妙的化解，另外一点就是要写到Jack受到老师的鼓舞，不仅自己改正了错误，也努力成为了老师这样的人，即“长大以后我便成了你”，关键词就是可以使用inspiration或inspire。
当然，这篇文章还有另外一个小的注意点，也是同学们实际被扣分的点。即文章开头讲的是现实会面，后面讲的是回忆过去，而在结尾处，必须要回到现实中来，以Jack的口吻向老师再次致谢。
因此文章情节可归结为
P1
1. the process of searching pockets
2. Jack’s reaction--panic
P2
1. the result of searching pockets--just an accident
2. Jack conveyed gratitude(for being inspired by Mark)
之后就是添加细节描写
P1中，注意人物情节的交替，当Mark在搜查时，Jack的心理活动--惊慌，害怕，自责，内疚--how I wish I hadn’t stolen the watch just out of envy, 用虚拟语气表达“内疚和悔恨”非常恰当；
以及随着老师越来越近，心跳的也越来越快--his heart was beating more wildly
以及注意过渡句--Jack 原以为老师就要当场揭穿他，紧闭双眼/咬紧牙关/攥紧双拳；
P2中，归还手表时，Jack 留下悔恨的泪水--shed tears of remorse；而Mark却拍拍肩膀鼓励他--Every child deserves a chance to correct mistake；
回到现实，Jack再次向Mark致谢，“Thank you,” Jack said in a genuine voice, bowing to this respectable and considerable man. 与前面的信息相呼应，也就自然而然形成了“闭环”。
那么，什么时候需要注意“闭环”思想呢？当前文中出现明确的人物形象，某个事件的由头，甚至是一些环境描写时，都应该有意识地关联到“闭环”思想，让文章更加紧实。
对于即将高考的高三考生来说，高考作文也是大概率这样的形式，我认为2021新高考读后续写一定是“唯一情节，唯一主旨”，因此就必须把文章中出现的素材全部利用起来，在有限的空间内发挥想象，信息串联形成闭环，绝非天马行空，随意编造情节。
参考范文：
Then, Mark closed the door and told all students to get up. He said peacefully: “To be fair to everyone, I’ll take an action to examine you.” Then he started to search the pocket from the first student. Jack was in the middle place of the class, and he became increasingly nervous. He even pictured that the watch was discovered in his pocket, and he was in the flood of feelings of shame and guilt. In the moment, Mark came to his side, feeling his nervousness, and felt in the pocket. He paused a little and shot him a meaningful look. Jack shivered all over and was scared to death.
But Mark kept searching everyone's pockets. In the end Mark said nothing and left the classroom. Reflecting on his look, Jack beat himself up hard for his behavior. He was determined to apologize to Mark, hand in the watch and ask him to assist to solve the bad matter. After hearing what Jack said, Mark told him that any correction will make a better one. Jack felt very grateful to Mark for his kindness. Now that matter shaped a respectable and considerate teacher, Jack.
After an exhausting day. Jack wandered in the street, smiling while thinking of his students. Jack was a respectable and considerate teacher while his students took good care of him, too.
Suddenly, a familiar figure flashed into Jack’s eyes. It was Mark, his junior high school teacher. With thrill, Jack dashed forward, greeting enthusiastically, “Mark, how are you ” Taking out his presbyopia (老花镜), Mark studied the passionate young man in front of him, hesitated for a moment, and got confused, “Sorry Have we met before ”
Not disappointed at all, Jack introduced himself in delight, "Sorry, Mark. I'm Jack Smith, from Class 2, Grade 8, graduating from Kevin Junior High School in 2001. Now I'm a teacher. Hearing the words, Mark was puzzled but also delighted, asking a series of questions, “Why can't I remember you Are you a teacher now " In spite of poor eyesight, Mark did have such a brilliant memory that he could even remember almost all his students.
“Well, in fact, you only took charge of our class for only one day, and something happened that day. I became a teacher because of your inspiration.”
The old Mark, curious, kept raising questions such as when they met, how he had inspired him to be a teacher, and so on.
“One day, a friend of mine came in with a nice new watch. I was so crazy about it that I decided to take it and I did. After a short while, my friend found it disappear and immediately reported to the teacher, you, who happened to be in charge of our class for that day because our teacher was ill”
A mixture of emotions floated in Jack's eyes on recalling the shameful history. That day, Mark came and told the whole class that someone in the class could not find his watch and whoever took it, please return it. Jack was too frightened to hand it in.
Then, Mark closed the door and told all students to get up. _____________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
But Mark kept searching everyone's pockets. ________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
故事背景：
本篇读后续写文本主要讲Jack成为一名体贴周到深受学生爱戴的老师，有一天在街上遇到高中时期的老师Mark。Jack很激动，告诉Mark，Mark在高二当过Jack所在班级一天的代课老师，那天发生的事情促使Jack决心成为一名老师。两人回忆当时的情景。原来，那天Jack偷了一位同学的手表，Mark没有当众揭发Jack，他考虑周全的处理方式使Jack深受感动，决心将来成为像Mark一样的老师。文章主题是一位有人格魅力的老师对学生的影响，文章采用倒叙的方式展开，可读性强，续写方向较多，但在保证与原文的融洽度方面有一定难度。
情节分析：
通过P1--“Then, Mark closed the door and told all students to get up.”和P2 --“But Mark kept searching everyone's pockets.”中的but，我们知道，第一段的核心内容是“search”，Mark搜查的过程以及Jack被老师查到手表后的反应是什么；
第二段，根据“kept”，我们知道搜查还在继续，这是为了保全Jack的尊严；当然搜查完肯定要有一个定论。
这里其实有两种写法，第一：宣布我搜到了，谁偷的自己来自首；第二：搞错了，都不是我们班同学拿的，然后若无其事的上课。
我个人更偏向于第二种写法，因为在文章的开头有一句描述Jack人物形象的句子--Jack was a respectable and considerate teacher，受人尊重和考虑周到；而下文关键句--I became a teacher because of your inspiration，我是因为受到了你的启发才成为了老师。这说明两点，第一，Mark本身也是一个respectable and considerate的老师；第二，对于这件事的处理方式要能体现这一人物性格；
那么第二段中除了写本次事件得到了巧妙的化解，另外一点就是要写到Jack受到老师的鼓舞，不仅自己改正了错误，也努力成为了老师这样的人，即“长大以后我便成了你”，关键词就是可以使用inspiration或inspire。
当然，这篇文章还有另外一个小的注意点，也是同学们实际被扣分的点。即文章开头讲的是现实会面，后面讲的是回忆过去，而在结尾处，必须要回到现实中来，以Jack的口吻向老师再次致谢。
因此文章情节可归结为
P1
1. the process of searching pockets
2. Jack’s reaction--panic
P2
1. the result of searching pockets--just an accident
2. Jack conveyed gratitude(for being inspired by Mark)
之后就是添加细节描写
P1中，注意人物情节的交替，当Mark在搜查时，Jack的心理活动--惊慌，害怕，自责，内疚--how I wish I hadn’t stolen the watch just out of envy, 用虚拟语气表达“内疚和悔恨”非常恰当；
以及随着老师越来越近，心跳的也越来越快--his heart was beating more wildly
以及注意过渡句--Jack 原以为老师就要当场揭穿他，紧闭双眼/咬紧牙关/攥紧双拳；
P2中，归还手表时，Jack 留下悔恨的泪水--shed tears of remorse；而Mark却拍拍肩膀鼓励他--Every child deserves a chance to correct mistake；
回到现实，Jack再次向Mark致谢，“Thank you,” Jack said in a genuine voice, bowing to this respectable and considerable man. 与前面的信息相呼应，也就自然而然形成了“闭环”。
那么，什么时候需要注意“闭环”思想呢？当前文中出现明确的人物形象，某个事件的由头，甚至是一些环境描写时，都应该有意识地关联到“闭环”思想，让文章更加紧实。
对于即将高考的高三考生来说，高考作文也是大概率这样的形式，我认为2021新高考读后续写一定是“唯一情节，唯一主旨”，因此就必须把文章中出现的素材全部利用起来，在有限的空间内发挥想象，信息串联形成闭环，绝非天马行空，随意编造情节。
参考范文：
Then, Mark closed the door and told all students to get up. He said peacefully: “To be fair to everyone, I’ll take an action to examine you.” Then he started to search the pocket from the first student. Jack was in the middle place of the class, and he became increasingly nervous. He even pictured that the watch was discovered in his pocket, and he was in the flood of feelings of shame and guilt. In the moment, Mark came to his side, feeling his nervousness, and felt in the pocket. He paused a little and shot him a meaningful look. Jack shivered all over and was scared to death.
But Mark kept searching everyone's pockets. In the end Mark said nothing and left the classroom. Reflecting on his look, Jack beat himself up hard for his behavior. He was determined to apologize to Mark, hand in the watch and ask him to assist to solve the bad matter. After hearing what Jack said, Mark told him that any correction will make a better one. Jack felt very grateful to Mark for his kindness. Now that matter shaped a respectable and considerate teacher, Jack.