专《2024年高考英语读后续写高分宝典》
专题05 2022新高考I卷&II卷读后续写(David的越野赛)
讲义及满分语料9类60句背默 (原卷版)
目录
真题呈现 1
答案解析 2
研读材料 3
思维拓展 4
谋篇布局 5
满分语料分类背诵9类60句 7
满分秘诀一、无灵主语(时间、地点、情感、自然现象、动作行为类名词作主语) 7
满分秘诀二、动作链(A and B型,A, B and C 型) 7
满分秘诀三、独立主格结构/with复合结构 8
满分秘诀四、非谓语短语(作主语、宾语、状语、定语、宾语补足语等) 8
满分秘诀五、介词短语位于句首 9
满分秘诀六、副词位于句首 0
满分秘诀七、直接引语/简洁对话 10
满分秘诀八、特殊句式(倒装、强调、感叹) 10
满分秘诀九、主题升华句 10
范文背诵 11
(
真题呈现
)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route(路线)through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration(懊恼). I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer—that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答.
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(
答案解析
)
【原文解读】本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了作者是一名特殊教育教师,在大型越野赛跑那天,发现患有大脑疾病的大卫独自站在一旁。作者问其原因,他说准备放弃比赛。从教练口中得知,因为担心同学们会嘲笑大卫,所以教练想让大卫自己去决定是否参加赛跑。作者让大卫追寻自己的内心,不理会别人的看法,大卫最终参赛,尽管遇到困难,他战胜了自己,这已经无关名次,而是他的勇敢和坚定让这一切成为可能。
【续写线索】鼓励大卫——心理变化——决定参赛——克服困难——加油助威——完成比赛——感悟
【段落续写】
1.由第一段首句内容“我们挨着坐着,但大卫不愿看我一眼”可知,第一段可描写作者鼓励大卫继续完成比赛,大卫经过强烈的心理斗争,最终决定参加比赛。
2.由第二段首句内容“我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上”可知,第二段可描写大卫开始参赛,虽然中途遇到困难,仍然坚持到最后,完成比赛。
【导语】本文以赛跑为线索展开。作者是一名特殊教育教师,在大型越野赛跑那天,发现患有大脑疾病的大卫独自站在一旁。作者问其原因,他说准备放弃比赛。从教练口中得知,因为担心同学们会嘲笑大卫,所以教练想让大卫自己去决定是否参加赛跑。作者让大卫追寻自己的内心,不理会别人的看法,大卫最终参赛,尽管遇到困难,他战胜了自己,这已经无关名次,而是他的勇敢和坚定让这一切成为可能。
【详解】1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“我们挨着坐着,但大卫不愿看我一眼。”和第二段首句内容”我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上。”可知,第一段可描写作者鼓励大卫继续完成比赛,大卫经过强烈的心理斗争,最终决定参加比赛。
②由第二段首句内容“我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上。”可知,第二段可描写大卫开始参赛,虽然中途遇到困难,仍然坚持到最后,完成比赛。
2.续写思路:
第一段:我引起David注意——说服David参加比赛——David思考后决定参加比赛
第二段:我给予David鼓励——David坚持跑完——情感升华:David感受到挑战自我的成就感
David 情绪变化:惊讶——犹豫——决心——成就感——感恩
我的情绪:坚定——为David骄傲
3.词汇激活:
行动类:
①深呼吸:with a deep breath/breathe deeply
②坚持做:insisted on doing/be stick to doing
情绪类:
①热情:enthusiastically /with great passion
②骄傲:be proud of/take pride in
【点睛】[高分句型1]. You have a full preparation before this event, which is the most important reason why you show up here. (由which引导的非限制性定语从句和 why引导的限制性定语从句)
[高分句型2]. Hearing my words, David turned to me tremblingly with tears spilling out of his eyes and expressed he had made a firm determination to finish the cross-country run. (现在分词作状语和省略that的宾语从句)
[高分句型3]. It was his brave heart and strong faith that could make something unusual happen finally. (含有It was…that结构的强调句型)
(
研读材料
)
第一步:弄清主线:越野赛David一个人在栅栏旁——David担心别人嘲笑放弃比赛——我找到了体育老师确定David可以参加后看到David步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第二步:找到高潮:确定David可以参加后,我看到 David 步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第三步:弄清主旨:根据第一首句“我们挨着坐在一起,但David不看我”和第二首句“我注视着 David 和其他运动员朝起跑线走去”可知,David最终参加了比赛。文章主旨可以归纳为:要勇敢的做自我,不怕别人嘲笑。
第四步:开始写作:
①根据第二首句确定第一首句的写作方向。第二首句 I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners,为什么David 又决定参加越野赛呢?说明我成功劝说了David,所以第一首句段着重叙述我如何劝说。David因为听了体育老师的好意才放弃越野赛,所以首先劝说他要遵从自己的内心想法,要因为他人而改变意志;其次劝说他不要怕嘲笑,要勇敢的活出自我;最后写David答应了参加比赛,这样就能平稳过渡到第二段。总之,这段要以写我的劝说为主,最后一句点明David答应参加比赛即可。
②第二首句段为故事结局,要照应文章主旨。David脑部有残疾,走路不稳, 参加比赛后又会出现什么情况呢?运用头脑风暴发挥想象力,他不可能跑得很顺利,可能会摔倒、受伤、被嘲笑、中途放弃,也可能会坚持到底。David被嘲笑、中途放弃都是有可能的,但不建议考生写,短文最终是要传播正能量,体现积极向上的情感、态度、价值观。所以结局一定要写David勇敢的完成了比赛。
(
思维拓展
)
第一步弄清主线:
越野赛David一个人在栅栏旁——David担心别人嘲笑放弃比赛——我找到了体育老师确定David可以参加后看到David步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第二步找到高潮:
确定David可以参加后,我看到 David 步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第三步弄清主旨:
根据第一首句“我们挨着坐在一起,但David不看我”和第二首句“我注视着 David 和其他运动员朝起跑线走去”可知,David最终参加了比赛。文章主旨可以归纳为:要勇敢的做自我,不怕别人嘲笑。
第四步开始写作:
①根据第二首句确定第一首句的写作方向。第二首句 I watched as David moved up tothestarting line with the other runners,为什么David 又决定参加越野赛呢?说明我成功劝说了David,所以第一首句段着重叙述我如何劝说。David因为听了体育老师的好意才放弃越野赛,所以首先劝说他要遵从自己的内心想法,要因为他人而改变意志;其次劝说他不要怕嘲笑,要勇敢的活出自我;最后写David答应了参加比赛,这样就能平稳过渡到第二段。总之,这段要以写我的劝说为主,最后一句点明David答应参加比赛即可。
②第二首句段为故事结局,要照应文章主旨。David脑部有残疾,走路不稳, 参加比赛后又会出现什么情况呢?运用头脑风暴发挥想象力,他不可能跑得很顺利,可能会摔倒、受伤、被嘲笑、中途放弃,也可能会坚持到底。David被嘲笑、中途放弃都是有可能的,但不建议考生写,短文最终是要传播正能量,体现积极向上的情感、态度、价值观。所以结局一定要写David勇敢的完成了比赛。
(
谋篇布局
)
挖掘文章细节描写类型: 心理活动; 动作,环境,外貌性格;对话。
一、主次人物分析
根据原文和续写两段段首语可知, David和“我”是故事的主要人物,二人是师生关系;教练和其他同学是次要人物。
根据续写两段段首语可知,在续写第一段中,会出现主要人物David和“我”。在续写第二段中,David和“我”仍然是主要人物,次要人物(教练和其他同学)可能会出现。
二、人物情感和性格分析
根据插叙内容(David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children.)和David的外貌(He was small for ten years old.)、动作(his small bod rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward)和神态(His usual big toothy smile was absent today),可以总结出David “身残志坚”的人物形象。在续写中可以从这一人物特点出发设计David比赛过程中的自信、坚持的具体表现。
根据原文中关于“我”(walked over and asked quickly searched for the coach bit back my frustration, was proud of his strong determination)和次要人物(the coach meant well, his classmates thought of him as a regular kid)的描写,可以总结出大家对David的关爱。因此,在根据续写两段应该也要出现对David的关爱场景描写,以保证续写与文本材料的语调一致性。
三、环境分析
根据原文和续写段首语the day of the big cross-country run, were warming up and walking the route, join the cross-country team, sat down next to each other, the starting line等词句可知,故事的“冲突”和动作发生在孩子们去参加越野跑经过的常绿林(thick evergreen forest)中,续写故事的“解决”部分也应发生在越野跑线路上。
四、动作分析
根据I looked around and finally spotted David可知作者在人群钟寻找David,期待看到David的心情; I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children体现“我”关爱细心的一面。 I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened表现当“我”知道David放弃比赛时我急切地想要知道原因的心情。He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run表现出教练在回答我的问题的纠结、难受等复杂的情绪;He had worked so hard for this表明David从来没有想过要放弃比赛的坚忍不拔的性格;his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward通过动作描写说明的David走路的姿势和困雅,为后文续写部分跑步的困难做好铺垫。
五、心理活动分析
根据What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event表明“我”相信David没有想要放弃比赛的心情his classmates thought of him as a regular kid他的同学认为他是一个普通的孩子,表明大卫可能最终会坚持比赛; That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-countryteam 通过孩子们的看法故事想告诉我们续写主题--只要你相信自己并尽力去做,没有人会认为你不寻常。
六、外貌性格分析
根据He was small for ten years old和 His usual big toothy smile was absent today通过外貌描写展现了David身体上比别人弱别小的特点,但是他的笑容说明他一直是一个乐观开朗的孩子,为故事续写作了铺垫,同时也表示故事出现一个“冲突”转折。
七、对话分析
间接引语I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run讲述我询问和他回答,直接引语“I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”说明David放弃比赛的原因,通过教练的话直接表述,表明连教练自己都不确定他做的是否正确,故事更具说服力,同时体现周围人对David 担忧和关心。
八、整合本篇的情节和情感线索
跑步马上就开始了,同学们或在热身,或在熟悉路线。但是我却发现一向乐观的David落寞地站在一边。询问以后得知,教练害怕David被别的学校孩子们嘲笑,让David(因为大脑疾病,不能像正常孩子一样走路、跑步)自己选择跑或者不跑,最终David选择了放弃。得知为了这一天David付出了很多心血,我给予他应有的引导和鼓励……
(
语料背诵
)
满分秘诀一、无灵主语(时间、地点、情感、自然现象、动作行为类名词作主语)
1.他脸上灿烂的笑容像夏天的花朵一样绽放。
2.言语无法表达我的感受。我只是用一个大大的拥抱向他表示祝贺。
3.相反,他的头被猛地侧着。一阵同情涌上我的心头。
4.枪响的那一刻,所有的赛跑运动员都以迅雷不及掩耳之势向前冲去。
5.他转过身来对我说:“我可以吗?”他的眼睛里出现了一丝犹豫。
6.大卫成功冲过终点线时,全场爆发出阵阵欢呼和掌声。
7.但我们都为他感到骄傲,每个人脸上的笑容照亮了整个世界!
他只走了几米就绊倒了,摔倒在地。我的心一沉。
9.他不寻常的左右摇摆方式使他在跑步者中与众不同,但没有人嘲笑他。
满分秘诀二、动作链(A and B型,A, B and C 型)
10.他微笑着,深吸一口气,为比赛做准备。
11.他点了点头,站起身来,握紧拳头,跌跌撞撞地向起跑线走去。
12.然后他看了看球场,下定决心地说:“我要跑了。”
13.我把手放在他的肩膀上说:“尽你所能参与进来。我相信你。”
14.大卫抬起头,瞥了我一眼,声音颤抖地说:“是的,但如果其他人取笑我呢?”
15.我握着他的手告诉他,其他学校的孩子不会嘲笑他,相反,他们会为他的勇敢欢呼。
满分秘诀三、独立主格结构/with复合结构
16.他瞪大了眼睛看着我。
17.大卫抬头看着我,眼睛闪闪发光。
18.大卫双脚向前摆动,小小的身体左右摆动。
19.他动了几次嘴唇,但一句话也说不出来。我只是对他微笑。
20.大卫听了这话,既惊讶又感动,泪流满面。
21.汗水顺着脸往下滚,他用力向前摆动双脚,决心追赶。
22.很明显,他低着头,颤抖着肩膀,竭力掩饰自己的失望。
23.在空中响起的鼓励声中,大卫以他独特的跑步风格一次又一次地尝试。
满分秘诀四、非谓语短语(作主语、宾语、状语、定语、宾语补足语等)
24.看到他非常痛苦,我们几乎感到自己的血液凝固了。
25.大卫坚持跑步,好像他忘记了所有的弱点
26.他静静地坐在那里,眼睛盯着地面,紧紧地咬着嘴唇。
27.然而,同学们都出现在赛道上,为他欢呼。
28.当他被宣布赢得第18场比赛时,我看到他像往常一样笑容满面。
29.我身体前倾,却发现他眼里噙着泪水,嘴唇紧闭。
30.我带着鼓励的微笑,表达了我的愿望,这次跑步也不例外。
31.他回头看了我一眼,我竖起大拇指向他示意,为他感到骄傲。
32.然而,没过多久,大卫就发现自己落后于其他选手。
33.在我的鼓励下,大卫下定决心参加这次大型越野跑。
34.大卫咧嘴笑了笑,恢复了信心,同意试一试。
35.想到大卫会多么沮丧,我很难过,因为他以前从未错过过一次训练。
36.当其他选手冲向终点时,我感到有点紧张,担心他会被嘲笑。
满分秘诀五、介词短语位于句首
36.他上气不接下气地走向我,然后给了我一个拥抱。
37.随着一声“砰”的一声,所有的跑者像利箭一样冲出了起跑线。
38.在权衡了我的话之后,大卫用低沉但坚定的声音说:“我想跑!”
39.他以惊人的勇气和意志力冲过终点,名列第25位。
40.他以极大的决心和勇气,把他小小的身体左右摇晃着走向田野。
满分秘诀六、副词短语位于句首
41.突然,他的腿支持不住,被绊倒了。
42.没想到,人群的窃窃私语变成了鼓励,“加油!加油!”
43.然而,当他到达终点时,人群爆发出雷鸣般的掌声。
44.渐渐地,大卫上气不接下气,很明显他的脚步越来越重。
45.显然,这一次他看起来不一样了,更加自信了,脸上又露出了灿烂的笑容。
满分秘诀七、直接引语/简洁对话
46.我抿着嘴喊道:“加油!你会是最好的!”
47.“加油!我们为你感到骄傲!”他的同学们热情地喊道。
48.他像往常一样咧嘴笑着迎接我,并自信地说:“太棒了!”
49.我温和而平静地说:“除了你自己,没有人能改变你的想法。去做吧。”
50.“还记得你的练习吗?你从来没有错过过一次。如果你认为你可以,你就可以。”我安慰他。
51.我拍了拍他的肩膀,小声说:“大卫,如果你想试试,就去拿吧!我一直在你身边!”
满分秘诀八、特殊句式(倒装、强调、感叹)
52.就在那一刻,我看到了大卫的决心。
53.发令枪刚响,他就拼命地摆动双腿跑。
54.正是他勇敢的心和坚定的信念,才使一些不同寻常的事情最终发生。
55.大卫冲过终点线。全场响起雷鸣般的掌声。多么勇敢和坚定的男孩!
满分秘诀九、主题升华句
56.令大家高兴的是,他到达了终点线,名列第20位。
57.他最终证明了自己是一个意志坚强的人,尽管他不是第一个。
58.他终于征服了在场的每一个人,脸上露出了他一贯的笑容。
59.当他像往常一样咧嘴笑着迎接我时,我忍不住对他的韧性感到安慰和钦佩。
60.大卫又恢复了他一贯的笑容,这给我留下了深刻的印象。心若有志,没有什么是不可能的。]。
(
范文背诵
)
满分范文
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me. With head down and shoulders trembling, obviously, he was trying hard to hide his disappointment. Gently putting my arms around him, I asked with care: “You still wanna try, don’t you ” He nodded, tears starting to roll down and wetting my shirt. A while later when he finally calmed down, I told him how I appreciated his determination confronted with challenges. “Everyone believes in you, and your efforts in practice won’t let you down, either.” Grinning his usual big toothy smile, David regained confidence and agreed to have a try.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. At that very moment, David’s small figure seemed tall and impressive in my eyes. The cross-country run was not easy for him, though, especially with so many ambitious runners competing. His unusual way of rocking from side to side made him unusual among the runners, yet nobody laughed at him. Instead, along the way, other kids passing by cast a smile and thumbed up at him. As expected, David finished his run as usual long after others, but he earned respect with every step of determination and proved he was as regular as everyone else.《2024年高考英语读后续写高分宝典》
专题05 2022新高考I卷&II卷读后续写(David的越野赛)
讲义及满分语料9类60句背默 (解析版)
目录
真题呈现 1
答案解析 2
研读材料 3
思维拓展 5
谋篇布局 6
满分语料分类背诵9类6句 7
满分秘诀一、无灵主语(时间、地点、情感、自然现象、动作行为类名词作主语) 7
满分秘诀二、动作链(A and B型,A, B and C 型) 8
满分秘诀三、独立主格结构/with复合结构 8
满分秘诀四、非谓语短语(作主语、宾语、状语、定语、宾语补足语等) 9
满分秘诀五、介词短语位于句首 10
满分秘诀六、副词位于句首 10
满分秘诀七、直接引语/简洁对话 10
满分秘诀八、特殊句式(倒装、强调、感叹) 11
满分秘诀九、主题升华句 11
范文背诵 12
(
真题呈现
)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route(路线)through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration(懊恼). I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer—that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答.
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(
答案解析
)
【原文解读】本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了作者是一名特殊教育教师,在大型越野赛跑那天,发现患有大脑疾病的大卫独自站在一旁。作者问其原因,他说准备放弃比赛。从教练口中得知,因为担心同学们会嘲笑大卫,所以教练想让大卫自己去决定是否参加赛跑。作者让大卫追寻自己的内心,不理会别人的看法,大卫最终参赛,尽管遇到困难,他战胜了自己,这已经无关名次,而是他的勇敢和坚定让这一切成为可能。
【续写线索】鼓励大卫——心理变化——决定参赛——克服困难——加油助威——完成比赛——感悟
【段落续写】
1.由第一段首句内容“我们挨着坐着,但大卫不愿看我一眼”可知,第一段可描写作者鼓励大卫继续完成比赛,大卫经过强烈的心理斗争,最终决定参加比赛。
2.由第二段首句内容“我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上”可知,第二段可描写大卫开始参赛,虽然中途遇到困难,仍然坚持到最后,完成比赛。
【答案】
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me. I said gently and quietly, “No one can change your mind, except yourself. If you desire to challenge yourself, there is nothing to do with others’ thoughts.” He sat still with a deep breath. “You have a full preparation before this event, which is the most important reason why you show up here”, I added with a sincere tone. Hearing my words, David turned to me tremblingly with tears spilling out of his eyes and expressed he had made a firm determination to finish the cross-country run. His coach heard what David said and gave me a look—the kind that was more determined than anyone else’s.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. The race started. It seemed that the runway was extremely long for young children, not to mention a child with a heart disease. David insisted on running as if he had forgotten all his weaknesses, though he was tripped over within the a few kilometers. It didn’t take long before he picked himself up again and continued his mission. Classmates all appeared on the racing track, cheering for him. “Come on! You can make it! We are proud of you!” they shouted enthusiastically. To everyone’s joy, he reached the final line and ranked the 20th. It was no more important whether he won the first place or not. It was his brave heart and strong faith that could make something unusual happen finally.
【导语】本文以赛跑为线索展开。作者是一名特殊教育教师,在大型越野赛跑那天,发现患有大脑疾病的大卫独自站在一旁。作者问其原因,他说准备放弃比赛。从教练口中得知,因为担心同学们会嘲笑大卫,所以教练想让大卫自己去决定是否参加赛跑。作者让大卫追寻自己的内心,不理会别人的看法,大卫最终参赛,尽管遇到困难,他战胜了自己,这已经无关名次,而是他的勇敢和坚定让这一切成为可能。
【详解】1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“我们挨着坐着,但大卫不愿看我一眼。”和第二段首句内容”我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上。”可知,第一段可描写作者鼓励大卫继续完成比赛,大卫经过强烈的心理斗争,最终决定参加比赛。
②由第二段首句内容“我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上。”可知,第二段可描写大卫开始参赛,虽然中途遇到困难,仍然坚持到最后,完成比赛。
2.续写思路:
第一段:我引起David注意——说服David参加比赛——David思考后决定参加比赛
第二段:我给予David鼓励——David坚持跑完——情感升华:David感受到挑战自我的成就感
David 情绪变化:惊讶——犹豫——决心——成就感——感恩
我的情绪:坚定——为David骄傲
3.词汇激活:
行动类:
①深呼吸:with a deep breath/breathe deeply
②坚持做:insisted on doing/be stick to doing
情绪类:
①热情:enthusiastically /with great passion
②骄傲:be proud of/take pride in
【点睛】[高分句型1]. You have a full preparation before this event, which is the most important reason why you show up here. (由which引导的非限制性定语从句和 why引导的限制性定语从句)
[高分句型2]. Hearing my words, David turned to me tremblingly with tears spilling out of his eyes and expressed he had made a firm determination to finish the cross-country run. (现在分词作状语和省略that的宾语从句)
[高分句型3]. It was his brave heart and strong faith that could make something unusual happen finally. (含有It was…that结构的强调句型)
(
研读材料
)
第一步:弄清主线:越野赛David一个人在栅栏旁——David担心别人嘲笑放弃比赛——我找到了体育老师确定David可以参加后看到David步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第二步:找到高潮:确定David可以参加后,我看到 David 步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第三步:弄清主旨:根据第一首句“我们挨着坐在一起,但David不看我”和第二首句“我注视着 David 和其他运动员朝起跑线走去”可知,David最终参加了比赛。文章主旨可以归纳为:要勇敢的做自我,不怕别人嘲笑。
第四步:开始写作:
①根据第二首句确定第一首句的写作方向。第二首句 I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners,为什么David 又决定参加越野赛呢?说明我成功劝说了David,所以第一首句段着重叙述我如何劝说。David因为听了体育老师的好意才放弃越野赛,所以首先劝说他要遵从自己的内心想法,要因为他人而改变意志;其次劝说他不要怕嘲笑,要勇敢的活出自我;最后写David答应了参加比赛,这样就能平稳过渡到第二段。总之,这段要以写我的劝说为主,最后一句点明David答应参加比赛即可。
②第二首句段为故事结局,要照应文章主旨。David脑部有残疾,走路不稳, 参加比赛后又会出现什么情况呢?运用头脑风暴发挥想象力,他不可能跑得很顺利,可能会摔倒、受伤、被嘲笑、中途放弃,也可能会坚持到底。David被嘲笑、中途放弃都是有可能的,但不建议考生写,短文最终是要传播正能量,体现积极向上的情感、态度、价值观。所以结局一定要写David勇敢的完成了比赛。
(
思维拓展
)
第一步弄清主线:
越野赛David一个人在栅栏旁——David担心别人嘲笑放弃比赛——我找到了体育老师确定David可以参加后看到David步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第二步找到高潮:
确定David可以参加后,我看到 David 步履蹒跚朝我走来。
第三步弄清主旨:
根据第一首句“我们挨着坐在一起,但David不看我”和第二首句“我注视着 David 和其他运动员朝起跑线走去”可知,David最终参加了比赛。文章主旨可以归纳为:要勇敢的做自我,不怕别人嘲笑。
第四步开始写作:
①根据第二首句确定第一首句的写作方向。第二首句 I watched as David moved up tothestarting line with the other runners,为什么David 又决定参加越野赛呢?说明我成功劝说了David,所以第一首句段着重叙述我如何劝说。David因为听了体育老师的好意才放弃越野赛,所以首先劝说他要遵从自己的内心想法,要因为他人而改变意志;其次劝说他不要怕嘲笑,要勇敢的活出自我;最后写David答应了参加比赛,这样就能平稳过渡到第二段。总之,这段要以写我的劝说为主,最后一句点明David答应参加比赛即可。
②第二首句段为故事结局,要照应文章主旨。David脑部有残疾,走路不稳, 参加比赛后又会出现什么情况呢?运用头脑风暴发挥想象力,他不可能跑得很顺利,可能会摔倒、受伤、被嘲笑、中途放弃,也可能会坚持到底。David被嘲笑、中途放弃都是有可能的,但不建议考生写,短文最终是要传播正能量,体现积极向上的情感、态度、价值观。所以结局一定要写David勇敢的完成了比赛。
(
谋篇布局
)
挖掘文章细节描写类型: 心理活动; 动作,环境,外貌性格;对话。
一、主次人物分析
根据原文和续写两段段首语可知, David和“我”是故事的主要人物,二人是师生关系;教练和其他同学是次要人物。
根据续写两段段首语可知,在续写第一段中,会出现主要人物David和“我”。在续写第二段中,David和“我”仍然是主要人物,次要人物(教练和其他同学)可能会出现。
二、人物情感和性格分析
根据插叙内容(David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children.)和David的外貌(He was small for ten years old.)、动作(his small bod rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward)和神态(His usual big toothy smile was absent today),可以总结出David “身残志坚”的人物形象。在续写中可以从这一人物特点出发设计David比赛过程中的自信、坚持的具体表现。
根据原文中关于“我”(walked over and asked quickly searched for the coach bit back my frustration, was proud of his strong determination)和次要人物(the coach meant well, his classmates thought of him as a regular kid)的描写,可以总结出大家对David的关爱。因此,在根据续写两段应该也要出现对David的关爱场景描写,以保证续写与文本材料的语调一致性。
三、环境分析
根据原文和续写段首语the day of the big cross-country run, were warming up and walking the route, join the cross-country team, sat down next to each other, the starting line等词句可知,故事的“冲突”和动作发生在孩子们去参加越野跑经过的常绿林(thick evergreen forest)中,续写故事的“解决”部分也应发生在越野跑线路上。
四、动作分析
根据I looked around and finally spotted David可知作者在人群钟寻找David,期待看到David的心情; I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children体现“我”关爱细心的一面。 I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened表现当“我”知道David放弃比赛时我急切地想要知道原因的心情。He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run表现出教练在回答我的问题的纠结、难受等复杂的情绪;He had worked so hard for this表明David从来没有想过要放弃比赛的坚忍不拔的性格;his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward通过动作描写说明的David走路的姿势和困雅,为后文续写部分跑步的困难做好铺垫。
五、心理活动分析
根据What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event表明“我”相信David没有想要放弃比赛的心情his classmates thought of him as a regular kid他的同学认为他是一个普通的孩子,表明大卫可能最终会坚持比赛; That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-countryteam 通过孩子们的看法故事想告诉我们续写主题--只要你相信自己并尽力去做,没有人会认为你不寻常。
六、外貌性格分析
根据He was small for ten years old和 His usual big toothy smile was absent today通过外貌描写展现了David身体上比别人弱别小的特点,但是他的笑容说明他一直是一个乐观开朗的孩子,为故事续写作了铺垫,同时也表示故事出现一个“冲突”转折。
七、对话分析
间接引语I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run讲述我询问和他回答,直接引语“I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”说明David放弃比赛的原因,通过教练的话直接表述,表明连教练自己都不确定他做的是否正确,故事更具说服力,同时体现周围人对David 担忧和关心。
八、整合本篇的情节和情感线索
跑步马上就开始了,同学们或在热身,或在熟悉路线。但是我却发现一向乐观的David落寞地站在一边。询问以后得知,教练害怕David被别的学校孩子们嘲笑,让David(因为大脑疾病,不能像正常孩子一样走路、跑步)自己选择跑或者不跑,最终David选择了放弃。得知为了这一天David付出了很多心血,我给予他应有的引导和鼓励……
(
语料背诵
)
满分秘诀一、无灵主语(时间、地点、情感、自然现象、动作行为类名词作主语)
1.他脸上灿烂的笑容像夏天的花朵一样绽放。
1.Splendid smiles on his face bloomed just like flowers in summer.
2.言语无法表达我的感受。我只是用一个大大的拥抱向他表示祝贺。
2.Words failed to convey my feeling. I just congratulated him with a big hug.
3.相反,他的头被猛地侧着。一阵同情涌上我的心头。
3.Instead his head was jerked sideways. A ripple of sympathy surged through me.
4.枪响的那一刻,所有的赛跑运动员都以迅雷不及掩耳之势向前冲去。
4.The moment the gun fired, all the runners shot forwards with a flash of speed.
5.他转过身来对我说:“我可以吗?”他的眼睛里出现了一丝犹豫。
5.He turned to me and said: “Can I ”A slight of hesitation appeared in his eyes.
6.大卫成功冲过终点线时,全场爆发出阵阵欢呼和掌声。
6.A wave of cheer and applause burst out when David succeeded in crossing the finish line.
7.但我们都为他感到骄傲,每个人脸上的笑容照亮了整个世界!
7.But all of us were proud of him and the smile on everyone’s face lit up the whole world!
他只走了几米就绊倒了,摔倒在地。我的心一沉。
8.He had only gone a few meters before he tripped and fell flat on the ground. My heart sank.
9.他不寻常的左右摇摆方式使他在跑步者中与众不同,但没有人嘲笑他。
9.His unusual way of rocking from side to side made him unusual among the runners, yet nobody laughed at him.
满分秘诀二、动作链(A and B型,A, B and C 型)
10.他微笑着,深吸一口气,为比赛做准备。
10.He smiled, took a deep breath and got ready for the race.
11.他点了点头,站起身来,握紧拳头,跌跌撞撞地向起跑线走去。
11.Nodding his head, he stood up, clenched his fist and stumbled to the starting line.
12.然后他看了看球场,下定决心地说:“我要跑了。”
12.Then he looked at the field and said with a fierce but quiet determination, “I’m gonna run.”
13.我把手放在他的肩膀上说:“尽你所能参与进来。我相信你。”
13.I placed my hand on his shoulder and said, “Just participate to the best of your ability. I believe in you.”
14.大卫抬起头,瞥了我一眼,声音颤抖地说:“是的,但如果其他人取笑我呢?”
14.David raised his head, glanced at me and said with a trembling voice, “Yes, but what if the others teased me ”
15.我握着他的手告诉他,其他学校的孩子不会嘲笑他,相反,他们会为他的勇敢欢呼。
15.I held his hands and told him the kids from other schools wouldn’t laugh at him, instead, they would cheer for his bravery.
满分秘诀三、独立主格结构/with复合结构
16.他瞪大了眼睛看着我。
16.He looked at me, his eyes widening.
17.大卫抬头看着我,眼睛闪闪发光。
17.David looked up at me, his eyes shining brightly.
18.大卫双脚向前摆动,小小的身体左右摆动。
18.David swung his feet forward, his small body rocking from side to side.
19.他动了几次嘴唇,但一句话也说不出来。我只是对他微笑。
19.He moved his lips several times but couldn’t say a word. I just smiled at him.
20.大卫听了这话,既惊讶又感动,泪流满面。
20.Hearing this, David looked surprised and moved, with tears rolling down his face.
21.汗水顺着脸往下滚,他用力向前摆动双脚,决心追赶。
21.Sweat rolling down his face, he swung his feet forward with great effort, determined to catch up.
22.很明显,他低着头,颤抖着肩膀,竭力掩饰自己的失望。
22.With head down and shoulders trembling, obviously, he was trying hard to hide his disappointment.
23.在空中响起的鼓励声中,大卫以他独特的跑步风格一次又一次地尝试。
23.With the encouragement ringing in the air, David attempted again and again with his unique running style.
满分秘诀四、非谓语短语(作主语、宾语、状语、定语、宾语补足语等)
24.看到他非常痛苦,我们几乎感到自己的血液凝固了。
24.Seeing him in great pain, we almost felt our blood frozen.
25.大卫坚持跑步,好像他忘记了所有的弱点
25.David insisted on running as if he had forgotten all his weaknesses
26.他静静地坐在那里,眼睛盯着地面,紧紧地咬着嘴唇。
26.Silently, he sat there, staring at the ground and tightly bit his lip.
27.然而,同学们都出现在赛道上,为他欢呼。
27.However, classmates all appeared on the racing track, cheering for him.
28.当他被宣布赢得第18场比赛时,我看到他像往常一样笑容满面。
28.As he was announced to win the 18th, I saw his usual toothy smile return.
29.我身体前倾,却发现他眼里噙着泪水,嘴唇紧闭。
29.I leaned forward, only to find his eyes brimming with tears and his lips were tight.
30.我带着鼓励的微笑,表达了我的愿望,这次跑步也不例外。
30.Casting an encouraging smile, I expressed my desire that this run would be no exception.
31.他回头看了我一眼,我竖起大拇指向他示意,为他感到骄傲。
31.He looked back at me and I signaled to him with a thumbs up, feeling proud of him.
32.然而,没过多久,大卫就发现自己落后于其他选手。
32.However, it didn’t take long before David found himself falling behind other runners.
33.在我的鼓励下,大卫下定决心参加这次大型越野跑。
33.Encouraged by me, David made up his mind to participate in the big cross-country run.
34.大卫咧嘴笑了笑,恢复了信心,同意试一试。
34.Grinning his usual big toothy smile, David regained confidence and agreed to have a try.
35.想到大卫会多么沮丧,我很难过,因为他以前从未错过过一次训练。
35.It saddened me to imagine how upset David would be since he had never missed a single practice before.
36.当其他选手冲向终点时,我感到有点紧张,担心他会被嘲笑。
36.As the other runners charged to the finish line, I felt a little nervous, fearing that he would be laughed at.
满分秘诀五、介词短语位于句首
36.他上气不接下气地走向我,然后给了我一个拥抱。
36.Out of breath, he walked to me and then gave me a hug.
37.随着一声“砰”的一声,所有的跑者像利箭一样冲出了起跑线。
37.With a big sound of “Bang”, all runners rushed off the starting line like different arrows.
38.在权衡了我的话之后,大卫用低沉但坚定的声音说:“我想跑!”
38.After weighing my words, David said in a low but determined voice, “I want to run!”
39.他以惊人的勇气和意志力冲过终点,名列第25位。
39.With an incredible display of bravery and willpower, he crossed the finish line, ranking 25th.
40.他以极大的决心和勇气,把他小小的身体左右摇晃着走向田野。
40.With great determination and courage, he rocked his small body from side to side toward the field.
满分秘诀六、副词短语位于句首
41.突然,他的腿支持不住,被绊倒了。
41.Suddenly, with his legs giving way, he tripped and fell down.
42.没想到,人群的窃窃私语变成了鼓励,“加油!加油!”
42.Unexpectedly, the whisper of crowds transferred into encouragement, “Come on! Come on!”
43.然而,当他到达终点时,人群爆发出雷鸣般的掌声。
43.However, when he came to the finishing line, the crowd burst into thunderous applause.
44.渐渐地,大卫上气不接下气,很明显他的脚步越来越重。
44.Gradually, David was out of breath and it was obvious that his footsteps were heavier and heavier.
45.显然,这一次他看起来不一样了,更加自信了,脸上又露出了灿烂的笑容。
45.Apparently this time he looked different with more confidence, bringing back the big toothy smile on his face.
满分秘诀七、直接引语/简洁对话
46.我抿着嘴喊道:“加油!你会是最好的!”
46.I cupped my mouth and exclaimed, “Come on! You will be the best!”
47.“加油!我们为你感到骄傲!”他的同学们热情地喊道。
47.“Come on! We are proud of you!” his classmates shouted enthusiastically.
48.他像往常一样咧嘴笑着迎接我,并自信地说:“太棒了!”
48.He greeted me with his usual big toothy smile and said confidently “Amazing!”
49.我温和而平静地说:“除了你自己,没有人能改变你的想法。去做吧。”
49.I said gently and quietly, “No one can change your mind, except yourself. Just go for it.”
50.“还记得你的练习吗?你从来没有错过过一次。如果你认为你可以,你就可以。”我安慰他。
50. “Remember the practice you took You never missed a single one. If you think you can, you can.” I comforted him.
51.我拍了拍他的肩膀,小声说:“大卫,如果你想试试,就去拿吧!我一直在你身边!”
51.I patted him on the shoulder and whispered: “David, if you want to try, just go and get it! I’m always here with you!”
满分秘诀八、特殊句式(倒装、强调、感叹)
52.就在那一刻,我看到了大卫的决心。
52.It was at that moment that I saw David’s determination.
53.发令枪刚响,他就拼命地摆动双腿跑。
53.Hardly had the starting gun gone off when he swung his legs as hard as he could.
54.正是他勇敢的心和坚定的信念,才使一些不同寻常的事情最终发生。
54.It was his brave heart and strong faith that could make something unusual happen finally.
55.大卫冲过终点线。全场响起雷鸣般的掌声。多么勇敢和坚定的男孩!
55.David crossed the finishing line. Thunderous applause broke out. What a brave and determined boy!
满分秘诀九、主题升华句
56.令大家高兴的是,他到达了终点线,名列第20位。
56.To everyone’s joy, he reached the final line and ranked the 20th.
57.他最终证明了自己是一个意志坚强的人,尽管他不是第一个。
57.He eventually proved himself to be a strong-willed man even though he wasn’t the first.
58.他终于征服了在场的每一个人,脸上露出了他一贯的笑容。
58.He finally conquered everyone present and his face was broad with his usual big toothy smile .
59.当他像往常一样咧嘴笑着迎接我时,我忍不住对他的韧性感到安慰和钦佩。
59.As his usual toothy smile greeted me, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of comfort and admiration for his resilience.
60.大卫又恢复了他一贯的笑容,这给我留下了深刻的印象。心若有志,没有什么是不可能的。]。
60.David’s usual toothy smile came back again, which left a deep impression on me. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
(
范文背诵
)
满分范文
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me. With head down and shoulders trembling, obviously, he was trying hard to hide his disappointment. Gently putting my arms around him, I asked with care: “You still wanna try, don’t you ” He nodded, tears starting to roll down and wetting my shirt. A while later when he finally calmed down, I told him how I appreciated his determination confronted with challenges. “Everyone believes in you, and your efforts in practice won’t let you down, either.” Grinning his usual big toothy smile, David regained confidence and agreed to have a try.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. At that very moment, David’s small figure seemed tall and impressive in my eyes. The cross-country run was not easy for him, though, especially with so many ambitious runners competing. His unusual way of rocking from side to side made him unusual among the runners, yet nobody laughed at him. Instead, along the way, other kids passing by cast a smile and thumbed up at him. As expected, David finished his run as usual long after others, but he earned respect with every step of determination and proved he was as regular as everyone else.