2024届高考英语二轮专题复习读后续写The Last Leaf课件(共64张PPT)
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| 名称 | 2024届高考英语二轮专题复习读后续写The Last Leaf课件(共64张PPT) |  | |
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| 文件大小 | 3.9MB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
| 版本资源 | 人教版（2019） | ||
| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2024-04-12 10:29:54 | ||
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(共64张PPT)
ENGLISH CONTINUATION WRITING
读后续写
THE LAST LEAF
Dear students,
I know that you can get the main idea of the text but can't analyse the
text in detail, you can write but the language is not vivid and plots are not
logically reasonable.
In this class, all of you are trained to analyse the text thoroughly based
on reading circles, and make the ending of the story more attractive and
logically reasonable by adopting thematic and rhematic progression and
polishing your language as well as sentence patterns.
Yours,
Mr. Sun
P A R T 1
文本分析
Once upon a time, there was a town of poor painters
on a high hill. Sue and Johnsy were both training to
be painters. They lived in a little brick house at the
edge of town. Johnsy had caught pneumonia (肺炎)
and stayed in bed, feeling very ill.
01
02 Returning home after work, Sue was exhausted.
“The wind is so cold outside. Winter is coming. Have
you been coughing a lot Have you taken your
medicine ” asked Sue. Johnsy was too weak to
respond, lying in her bed and staring out the window.
03 There was some ivy (常春藤) on the opposite wall
and she could see the leaves dancing in the harsh
(刺骨的) wind. Meanwhile, Johnsy began to count
backwards: “Ten, nine, eight, seven...”. “When the
last leaf falls, I will die too.” hopelessly said Johnsy.
“How can you say that That’s ridiculous! You are
not a leaf.” said Sue.
04 Although Johnsy had no will to live, Sue tried her
best to give her hope and encouragement. Sue
gently took Johnsy’s hand, “Please Johnsy, be
strong. The doctor says you will be alright.” said
Sue. “I am so tired of coughing all the time, and of
seeing you work so hard to support me. I want to
rest, to slip away quietly like those falling leaves.”
replied Johnsy.
05 Sue had no choice but to turn to their poor
neighbor, Mr Behrman, for help. He was a painter
too, but he hadn’t painted anything in a long time.
Some people believed he simply had no talent. But
he believed someday he would paint a masterpiece.
Sue told him that the doctor said Johnsy could still
recover if she found the will to live.
06 Behrman and Sue looked out the window at the ivy
and noticed that there was just one remaining leaf.
What’s more, a cold rain was falling, mixed with
snow. Behrman was so worried about Johnsy’s
health that he hoped to find a way to give her
strength.
阅读小组长
单词大师
Discussion Leader
Word Master
组织小组讨论，并针对阅读
内容提问。
讲解阅读内容中的生词、重
点单词及词组。
篇章大师
Passage Person
篇章概括者
Summarizer
Reading
Circles
讲解阅读内容中有意思、重
要或较难的段落。
用自己的话概括篇章的主要
内容。
生活实际联结者
文化采集者
Connector
Culture Collector
将阅读内容与生活实际相联
系，分享经验。
寻找阅读内容中与自己国家
文化相同或不同之处。
单词大师 Word Master
edge
[ed ]
n. 边缘; 刀口; 优势
vt. & vi. （使）徐徐移动; 给...加边
at the edge of
在...边缘
单词大师 Word Master
pneumonia
[nju m ni ]
n. 肺炎
单词大师 Word Master
exhausted
[ ɡ z st d]
adj. 筋疲力尽的; 疲惫不堪的; 用完的
单词大师 Word Master
cough
[k f]
v. 咳嗽; (从喉咙或肺中)咳出; 突然发
n. 咳嗽; 咳嗽声; 咳嗽病;
单词大师 Word Master
respond
[r sp nd]
v. 回应; 响应; 作出反应; (口头或书
单词大师 Word Master
harsh
[hɑ ]
adj. 严厉的; 严酷的; 恶劣的; 残酷的;
单词大师 Word Master
ridiculous
[r d kj l s]
adj. 荒唐的; 荒谬的; 愚蠢的;
单词大师 Word Master
masterpiece
[ mɑ st pi s]
n. 杰作; 名著; 代表作;
篇章大师 Passage Person
Returning home after work, Sue was exhausted. “The
wind is so cold outside. Winter is coming. Have you been
coughing a lot Have you taken your medicine ” asked
Sue. Johnsy was too weak to respond, lying in her bed
and staring out the window.
文体
时态
人称
记叙文
narrative
一般过去时
past tense
第三人称
third person
篇章大师 Passage Person
Sue gently took Johnsy’s hand, “Please Johnsy, be
strong. The doctor says you will be alright.” said Sue. “I
am so tired of coughing all the time, and of seeing you
work so hard to support me. I want to rest, to slip away
quietly like those falling leaves.” replied Johnsy.
语言描写: “Please Johnsy, be strong. The doctor says
you will be alright.”; “I am so tired of coughing all the
time...”
篇章大师 Passage Person
Behrman and Sue looked out the window at the ivy and
noticed that there was just one remaining leaf. What’s
more, a cold rain was falling, mixed with snow. Behrman
was so worried about Johnsy’s health that he hoped to
find a way to give her strength.
动作描写: Behrman and Sue looked out the window at
the ivy and noticed that there was just one remaining leaf.
篇章大师 Passage Person
Sue had no choice but to turn to their poor neighbor, Mr
Behrman, for help. He was a painter too, but he hadn’t
painted anything in a long time. Some people believed
he simply had no talent. But he believed someday he
would paint a masterpiece. Sue told him that the doctor
said Johnsy could still recover if she found the will to live.
隐含线索: But he believed someday he would paint a
masterpiece.
篇章大师 Passage Person
Behrman and Sue looked out the window at the ivy and
noticed that there was just one remaining leaf. What’s
more, a cold rain was falling, mixed with snow. Behrman
was so worried about Johnsy’s health that he hoped to
find a way to give her strength.
事件：Behrman想帮助Johnsy
阅读小组长（Discussion Leader)
人物分析
情节发展
主旨
人与人之间的帮助与关爱
人与社会
主题语境
Behrman and Sue looked out
the window and found one
leaf left.
Rer
t.
Joh
and
(Sue & Behrman) worried
when the last leaf falls
(Johnsy) hopeless
续写部分
(Sue) helpless
pneumonia
(Johnsy) painful
续写部分
(Sue) kind and considerate
故 事 要 素
When
cold & windy winter
in a town
Where
Who
Johnsy
to bring Johnsy hope
Johnsy had no will to live
Sue
Behrman Doctor
What
Why
本 文 情 节 线
setting
人物 时间 地点
环 境
rising action
患有肺炎的Johnsy倒数树叶，认为自
发 展
己的生命会随着树叶的凋零而结束。
climax
高 潮
好姐妹Sue和热心肠的邻居Behrman
发现常春藤的叶子只剩下一片。
resolution
解 决
续写部分
续写部分
ending
尾 声
人物
语言和行为
分析
“Have you been coughing
a lot Have you taken your
medicine ”
caring
Sue
“How can you say that
That’s ridiculous! You are
not a leaf.”
kind
Sue
人物
语言和行为
分析
“Please Johnsy, be strong.
The doctor says you will be
alright.”
anxious
worried
Sue
Sue had no choice but to
turn to their poor neighbor,
Mr Behrman, for help.
helpless
Sue
人物
语言和行为
分析
Johnsy was too weak to
respond, lying in her bed
and staring out the window.
weak
Johnsy
“When the last leaf falls, I
Johnsy will die too.”
hopeless
人物
语言和行为
分析
“I am so tired of coughing
all the time, and of seeing
you work so hard to
tired
painful
unbearable
Johnsy
support me. I want to rest,
to slip away quietly like
those falling leaves.”
人物
语言和行为
分析
But he believed someday
he would paint a
confident
determined
Behrman
masterpiece.
Behrman was so worried
warm-
hearted
Behrman about Johnsy’s health that
he hoped to find a way to
give her strength.
生活实际联结者 Connector
Do you know how to comfort someone
篇章概括者 Summarizer
Johnsy因感染肺炎对生存失去信心，认为自己的生命会随着
常春藤树叶的飘落而结束，好姐妹Sue十分担心她的身体状
况和精神状况，向好心的邻居Behrman求助，Behrman得知
事情的经过后决定想法子帮助Johnsy，然后？
Johnsy was seriously ill because of pneumonia,
having no will to live and willing to die with the falling
leaves. Sue and their neighbor Behrman decided to
find a way to help Johnsy.
P A R T 2
写作构架
三种叙述模式
平 行 性
延 续 性
交 叉 性
Johnsy had the will to
live
Plot Design
01
Paragraph 1
Sue and Johnsy
embraced
The next morning, when 02
Sue pushed the curtains
open, she and Johnsy
Sue sent for the
doctor
were surprised to find the
03
04
last leaf survived.
The doctor believed
Johnsy would
recover soon
The Last Leaf
Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2
The next morning, when
Sue pushed the curtains
The doctor was about to
leave when he suddenly
open, she and Johnsy were remembered to tell Sue her
surprised to find the last
leaf survived.
neighbor Behrman was
brought to the hospital that
morning.
Paragraph 1
The next morning, when Sue pushed the curtains
open, she and Johnsy were surprised to find the
last leaf survived. Johnsy found the leaf was strong
and she also had the will to live. Johnsy and Sue smiled
at each other and embraced. Immediately, Sue sent for
the doctor to inform him of the good news. After the
doctor checked Johnsy's condition, he believed she
would recover very soon.
平行叙述
延续叙述
Johnsy found the leaf was strong and she also had the will
to live.
01
Johnsy and Sue smiled at each other and embraced.
02
03
Immediately,Sue sent for the doctor to inform him of the
good news.
After the doctor checked Johnsy's condition, he believed
she would recover very soon.
04
The Last Leaf
Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2
The next morning, when
Sue pushed the curtains
The doctor was about to
leave when he suddenly
open, she and Johnsy were remembered to tell Sue her
surprised to find the last
leaf survived.
neighbor Behrman was
brought to the hospital that
morning.
Plot Design
Behrman was found
lying in the street
01
Paragraph 2
Behrman's hands were
stained with paint
The doctor was about to leave
when he suddenly remembered
to tell Sue her neighbor
02
03
04
Sue looked again at
the last ivy leaf
Behrman was brought to the
hospital that morning.
She realized it was
Behrman's masterpiece
Paragraph 2
The doctor was about to leave when he suddenly
remembered to tell Sue her neighbor Behrman was
brought to the hospital that morning. The doctor told
Sue that Behrman was found lying in the street. Behrman
was uncouncious because of the cold, and his hands
were stained with paint. When Sue looked at the last ivy
leaf again, she found it wasn't moving in the wind. It was
really Behrman's masterpiece.
交叉叙述
01
02
The doctor told Sue that Behrman was found lying in the street.
Behrman was uncouncious because of the cold, and his hands
were stained with paint.
03 When Sue looked at the last ivy leaf again, she found it wasn't
moving in the wind.
It was really Behrman's masterpiece.
04
P A R T 3
润色批改
词汇润色
一般动词
细节动词
看
see / look
意外地看到 only to find
瞥见
glance
stare
盯着看
怒视
glare
注意到
观察到
notice
observe
词汇润色
一般动词
细节动词
When Sue looked at the last ivy leaf again, she
found it wasn't moving in the wind.
When Sue stared at the last ivy leaf, she found it
wasn't moving in the wind.
词汇润色
情绪状态
身体表征
be moved to tears
words failed sb. when .....
smile lights up one's face
Johnsy and Sue smiled at each other and
embraced.
Johnsy and Sue embraced each other and smiles
lit up their faces.
词汇润色
缺少形容
丰富形容
pull sb. into a gentle embrace
=draw sb. into a tight hug
utterly amazed
her bright smiling face
词汇润色
单一状语
多样状语 副词
utterly amazed
Immediately, Sue sent for...
could hardly wait to
deeply moved...
词汇润色
单一状语
多样状语 介词短语
with his hands stained with paint
she popped her head out of window with
curiosity
句式润色
单一状语
多样状语 非谓语动词
Johnsy found the leaf was strong and she also
had the will to live.
Finding the leaf was strong, Johnsy also had
the will to live.
句式润色
单一状语
多样状语 非谓语动词
After the doctor checked Johnsy's condition,
he believed she would recover very soon.
Having checked Johnsy's condition, the
doctor believed she would recover very soon.
句式润色
单一状语
多样状语 状语从句
When Sue stared at the last ivy leaf, she found it
wasn't moving in the wind.
Paragraph 1
The next morning, when Sue pushed the curtains open,
she and Johnsy were surprised to find the last leaf
survived. 【1】Finding the leaf was strong, Johnsy, sitting up
straight on her bed then, also had the will to live. 【2】Sue
pulled Johnsy into a gentle embrace, smiles lighting up their
faces. 【3】Immediately, Sue jumped out to send for the doctor
and couldn't wait to inform him of the good news. 【4】Having
checked Johnsy's condition, the doctor believed she would
recover very soon, which brought great joy to the sisters.
(69words)
Paragraph 2
The doctor was about to leave when he suddenly
remembered to tell Sue her neighbor Behrman was brought
to the hospital that morning. 【 1】 The doctor added that
Behrman was found lying in the street, rain and snow covering his
messy hair. 【2】To everyone's amzement, Behrman, half frozen
and uncouncious, was then spotted with his hands stained with
paint. 【3】When Sue stared at the last ivy leaf again, she found
it wasn't moving in the wind. 【 4】 Deeply moved by what
Behrman had done, Sue came to understand that the last leaf on
the wall was really his masterpiece. (74words)
Thinking
01
02
If you were
Do you think
Behrman, what
would you do
Behrman did the
right thing Why
or why not
Role-play
01
Act out the whole story.
Characters: Johnsy,
Sue, Doctor, Behrman
Requirements:
1. Well-organised
2. Choose your character and
prepare your speech and action
3. Pay attention to emotion and
action
02
Homework
Polish your writing according to
the peer evaluation chart
易错点互批表
问题
是 否 改正次数
每句话都有一个名词性从句（名词、代
词、动名词、主语从句...）
非谓语的主语和主句的主语一致
时态一致（都是“过去的某种时态”）
所有单词的拼写正确
动词过去式拼写正确
易错点互批表
问题
是 否 改正次数
长句短句错落有致
正确使用标点符号
逗号句号区分明显
卷面整洁：不乱点
字迹清晰：不连笔
内容互批表
得分点
是 否 改正次数
第一段首句“承上”
第一段尾句“启下”
第一段主要描写第一/二主人公
或描写第一/二主人公之间互动
内容互批表
得分点
是 否 改正次数
第二段首句“承上”
第二段三句话以内解决矛盾
第二段尾句：
升华主旨/以景衬情/回扣原文
第二段主要描写第一/二主人公
或描写第一/二主人公之间互动
内容互批表
得分点
是 否 改正次数
工具人只描写1次
解决矛盾后退场
埋下伏笔：1-3处
直接引语：2-3句
T H A N K Y O U F O R W A T C H I N G
感谢观看
SEE YOU
ENGLISH CONTINUATION WRITING
读后续写
THE LAST LEAF
Dear students,
I know that you can get the main idea of the text but can't analyse the
text in detail, you can write but the language is not vivid and plots are not
logically reasonable.
In this class, all of you are trained to analyse the text thoroughly based
on reading circles, and make the ending of the story more attractive and
logically reasonable by adopting thematic and rhematic progression and
polishing your language as well as sentence patterns.
Yours,
Mr. Sun
P A R T 1
文本分析
Once upon a time, there was a town of poor painters
on a high hill. Sue and Johnsy were both training to
be painters. They lived in a little brick house at the
edge of town. Johnsy had caught pneumonia (肺炎)
and stayed in bed, feeling very ill.
01
02 Returning home after work, Sue was exhausted.
“The wind is so cold outside. Winter is coming. Have
you been coughing a lot Have you taken your
medicine ” asked Sue. Johnsy was too weak to
respond, lying in her bed and staring out the window.
03 There was some ivy (常春藤) on the opposite wall
and she could see the leaves dancing in the harsh
(刺骨的) wind. Meanwhile, Johnsy began to count
backwards: “Ten, nine, eight, seven...”. “When the
last leaf falls, I will die too.” hopelessly said Johnsy.
“How can you say that That’s ridiculous! You are
not a leaf.” said Sue.
04 Although Johnsy had no will to live, Sue tried her
best to give her hope and encouragement. Sue
gently took Johnsy’s hand, “Please Johnsy, be
strong. The doctor says you will be alright.” said
Sue. “I am so tired of coughing all the time, and of
seeing you work so hard to support me. I want to
rest, to slip away quietly like those falling leaves.”
replied Johnsy.
05 Sue had no choice but to turn to their poor
neighbor, Mr Behrman, for help. He was a painter
too, but he hadn’t painted anything in a long time.
Some people believed he simply had no talent. But
he believed someday he would paint a masterpiece.
Sue told him that the doctor said Johnsy could still
recover if she found the will to live.
06 Behrman and Sue looked out the window at the ivy
and noticed that there was just one remaining leaf.
What’s more, a cold rain was falling, mixed with
snow. Behrman was so worried about Johnsy’s
health that he hoped to find a way to give her
strength.
阅读小组长
单词大师
Discussion Leader
Word Master
组织小组讨论，并针对阅读
内容提问。
讲解阅读内容中的生词、重
点单词及词组。
篇章大师
Passage Person
篇章概括者
Summarizer
Reading
Circles
讲解阅读内容中有意思、重
要或较难的段落。
用自己的话概括篇章的主要
内容。
生活实际联结者
文化采集者
Connector
Culture Collector
将阅读内容与生活实际相联
系，分享经验。
寻找阅读内容中与自己国家
文化相同或不同之处。
单词大师 Word Master
edge
[ed ]
n. 边缘; 刀口; 优势
vt. & vi. （使）徐徐移动; 给...加边
at the edge of
在...边缘
单词大师 Word Master
pneumonia
[nju m ni ]
n. 肺炎
单词大师 Word Master
exhausted
[ ɡ z st d]
adj. 筋疲力尽的; 疲惫不堪的; 用完的
单词大师 Word Master
cough
[k f]
v. 咳嗽; (从喉咙或肺中)咳出; 突然发
n. 咳嗽; 咳嗽声; 咳嗽病;
单词大师 Word Master
respond
[r sp nd]
v. 回应; 响应; 作出反应; (口头或书
单词大师 Word Master
harsh
[hɑ ]
adj. 严厉的; 严酷的; 恶劣的; 残酷的;
单词大师 Word Master
ridiculous
[r d kj l s]
adj. 荒唐的; 荒谬的; 愚蠢的;
单词大师 Word Master
masterpiece
[ mɑ st pi s]
n. 杰作; 名著; 代表作;
篇章大师 Passage Person
Returning home after work, Sue was exhausted. “The
wind is so cold outside. Winter is coming. Have you been
coughing a lot Have you taken your medicine ” asked
Sue. Johnsy was too weak to respond, lying in her bed
and staring out the window.
文体
时态
人称
记叙文
narrative
一般过去时
past tense
第三人称
third person
篇章大师 Passage Person
Sue gently took Johnsy’s hand, “Please Johnsy, be
strong. The doctor says you will be alright.” said Sue. “I
am so tired of coughing all the time, and of seeing you
work so hard to support me. I want to rest, to slip away
quietly like those falling leaves.” replied Johnsy.
语言描写: “Please Johnsy, be strong. The doctor says
you will be alright.”; “I am so tired of coughing all the
time...”
篇章大师 Passage Person
Behrman and Sue looked out the window at the ivy and
noticed that there was just one remaining leaf. What’s
more, a cold rain was falling, mixed with snow. Behrman
was so worried about Johnsy’s health that he hoped to
find a way to give her strength.
动作描写: Behrman and Sue looked out the window at
the ivy and noticed that there was just one remaining leaf.
篇章大师 Passage Person
Sue had no choice but to turn to their poor neighbor, Mr
Behrman, for help. He was a painter too, but he hadn’t
painted anything in a long time. Some people believed
he simply had no talent. But he believed someday he
would paint a masterpiece. Sue told him that the doctor
said Johnsy could still recover if she found the will to live.
隐含线索: But he believed someday he would paint a
masterpiece.
篇章大师 Passage Person
Behrman and Sue looked out the window at the ivy and
noticed that there was just one remaining leaf. What’s
more, a cold rain was falling, mixed with snow. Behrman
was so worried about Johnsy’s health that he hoped to
find a way to give her strength.
事件：Behrman想帮助Johnsy
阅读小组长（Discussion Leader)
人物分析
情节发展
主旨
人与人之间的帮助与关爱
人与社会
主题语境
Behrman and Sue looked out
the window and found one
leaf left.
Rer
t.
Joh
and
(Sue & Behrman) worried
when the last leaf falls
(Johnsy) hopeless
续写部分
(Sue) helpless
pneumonia
(Johnsy) painful
续写部分
(Sue) kind and considerate
故 事 要 素
When
cold & windy winter
in a town
Where
Who
Johnsy
to bring Johnsy hope
Johnsy had no will to live
Sue
Behrman Doctor
What
Why
本 文 情 节 线
setting
人物 时间 地点
环 境
rising action
患有肺炎的Johnsy倒数树叶，认为自
发 展
己的生命会随着树叶的凋零而结束。
climax
高 潮
好姐妹Sue和热心肠的邻居Behrman
发现常春藤的叶子只剩下一片。
resolution
解 决
续写部分
续写部分
ending
尾 声
人物
语言和行为
分析
“Have you been coughing
a lot Have you taken your
medicine ”
caring
Sue
“How can you say that
That’s ridiculous! You are
not a leaf.”
kind
Sue
人物
语言和行为
分析
“Please Johnsy, be strong.
The doctor says you will be
alright.”
anxious
worried
Sue
Sue had no choice but to
turn to their poor neighbor,
Mr Behrman, for help.
helpless
Sue
人物
语言和行为
分析
Johnsy was too weak to
respond, lying in her bed
and staring out the window.
weak
Johnsy
“When the last leaf falls, I
Johnsy will die too.”
hopeless
人物
语言和行为
分析
“I am so tired of coughing
all the time, and of seeing
you work so hard to
tired
painful
unbearable
Johnsy
support me. I want to rest,
to slip away quietly like
those falling leaves.”
人物
语言和行为
分析
But he believed someday
he would paint a
confident
determined
Behrman
masterpiece.
Behrman was so worried
warm-
hearted
Behrman about Johnsy’s health that
he hoped to find a way to
give her strength.
生活实际联结者 Connector
Do you know how to comfort someone
篇章概括者 Summarizer
Johnsy因感染肺炎对生存失去信心，认为自己的生命会随着
常春藤树叶的飘落而结束，好姐妹Sue十分担心她的身体状
况和精神状况，向好心的邻居Behrman求助，Behrman得知
事情的经过后决定想法子帮助Johnsy，然后？
Johnsy was seriously ill because of pneumonia,
having no will to live and willing to die with the falling
leaves. Sue and their neighbor Behrman decided to
find a way to help Johnsy.
P A R T 2
写作构架
三种叙述模式
平 行 性
延 续 性
交 叉 性
Johnsy had the will to
live
Plot Design
01
Paragraph 1
Sue and Johnsy
embraced
The next morning, when 02
Sue pushed the curtains
open, she and Johnsy
Sue sent for the
doctor
were surprised to find the
03
04
last leaf survived.
The doctor believed
Johnsy would
recover soon
The Last Leaf
Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2
The next morning, when
Sue pushed the curtains
The doctor was about to
leave when he suddenly
open, she and Johnsy were remembered to tell Sue her
surprised to find the last
leaf survived.
neighbor Behrman was
brought to the hospital that
morning.
Paragraph 1
The next morning, when Sue pushed the curtains
open, she and Johnsy were surprised to find the
last leaf survived. Johnsy found the leaf was strong
and she also had the will to live. Johnsy and Sue smiled
at each other and embraced. Immediately, Sue sent for
the doctor to inform him of the good news. After the
doctor checked Johnsy's condition, he believed she
would recover very soon.
平行叙述
延续叙述
Johnsy found the leaf was strong and she also had the will
to live.
01
Johnsy and Sue smiled at each other and embraced.
02
03
Immediately,Sue sent for the doctor to inform him of the
good news.
After the doctor checked Johnsy's condition, he believed
she would recover very soon.
04
The Last Leaf
Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2
The next morning, when
Sue pushed the curtains
The doctor was about to
leave when he suddenly
open, she and Johnsy were remembered to tell Sue her
surprised to find the last
leaf survived.
neighbor Behrman was
brought to the hospital that
morning.
Plot Design
Behrman was found
lying in the street
01
Paragraph 2
Behrman's hands were
stained with paint
The doctor was about to leave
when he suddenly remembered
to tell Sue her neighbor
02
03
04
Sue looked again at
the last ivy leaf
Behrman was brought to the
hospital that morning.
She realized it was
Behrman's masterpiece
Paragraph 2
The doctor was about to leave when he suddenly
remembered to tell Sue her neighbor Behrman was
brought to the hospital that morning. The doctor told
Sue that Behrman was found lying in the street. Behrman
was uncouncious because of the cold, and his hands
were stained with paint. When Sue looked at the last ivy
leaf again, she found it wasn't moving in the wind. It was
really Behrman's masterpiece.
交叉叙述
01
02
The doctor told Sue that Behrman was found lying in the street.
Behrman was uncouncious because of the cold, and his hands
were stained with paint.
03 When Sue looked at the last ivy leaf again, she found it wasn't
moving in the wind.
It was really Behrman's masterpiece.
04
P A R T 3
润色批改
词汇润色
一般动词
细节动词
看
see / look
意外地看到 only to find
瞥见
glance
stare
盯着看
怒视
glare
注意到
观察到
notice
observe
词汇润色
一般动词
细节动词
When Sue looked at the last ivy leaf again, she
found it wasn't moving in the wind.
When Sue stared at the last ivy leaf, she found it
wasn't moving in the wind.
词汇润色
情绪状态
身体表征
be moved to tears
words failed sb. when .....
smile lights up one's face
Johnsy and Sue smiled at each other and
embraced.
Johnsy and Sue embraced each other and smiles
lit up their faces.
词汇润色
缺少形容
丰富形容
pull sb. into a gentle embrace
=draw sb. into a tight hug
utterly amazed
her bright smiling face
词汇润色
单一状语
多样状语 副词
utterly amazed
Immediately, Sue sent for...
could hardly wait to
deeply moved...
词汇润色
单一状语
多样状语 介词短语
with his hands stained with paint
she popped her head out of window with
curiosity
句式润色
单一状语
多样状语 非谓语动词
Johnsy found the leaf was strong and she also
had the will to live.
Finding the leaf was strong, Johnsy also had
the will to live.
句式润色
单一状语
多样状语 非谓语动词
After the doctor checked Johnsy's condition,
he believed she would recover very soon.
Having checked Johnsy's condition, the
doctor believed she would recover very soon.
句式润色
单一状语
多样状语 状语从句
When Sue stared at the last ivy leaf, she found it
wasn't moving in the wind.
Paragraph 1
The next morning, when Sue pushed the curtains open,
she and Johnsy were surprised to find the last leaf
survived. 【1】Finding the leaf was strong, Johnsy, sitting up
straight on her bed then, also had the will to live. 【2】Sue
pulled Johnsy into a gentle embrace, smiles lighting up their
faces. 【3】Immediately, Sue jumped out to send for the doctor
and couldn't wait to inform him of the good news. 【4】Having
checked Johnsy's condition, the doctor believed she would
recover very soon, which brought great joy to the sisters.
(69words)
Paragraph 2
The doctor was about to leave when he suddenly
remembered to tell Sue her neighbor Behrman was brought
to the hospital that morning. 【 1】 The doctor added that
Behrman was found lying in the street, rain and snow covering his
messy hair. 【2】To everyone's amzement, Behrman, half frozen
and uncouncious, was then spotted with his hands stained with
paint. 【3】When Sue stared at the last ivy leaf again, she found
it wasn't moving in the wind. 【 4】 Deeply moved by what
Behrman had done, Sue came to understand that the last leaf on
the wall was really his masterpiece. (74words)
Thinking
01
02
If you were
Do you think
Behrman, what
would you do
Behrman did the
right thing Why
or why not
Role-play
01
Act out the whole story.
Characters: Johnsy,
Sue, Doctor, Behrman
Requirements:
1. Well-organised
2. Choose your character and
prepare your speech and action
3. Pay attention to emotion and
action
02
Homework
Polish your writing according to
the peer evaluation chart
易错点互批表
问题
是 否 改正次数
每句话都有一个名词性从句（名词、代
词、动名词、主语从句...）
非谓语的主语和主句的主语一致
时态一致（都是“过去的某种时态”）
所有单词的拼写正确
动词过去式拼写正确
易错点互批表
问题
是 否 改正次数
长句短句错落有致
正确使用标点符号
逗号句号区分明显
卷面整洁：不乱点
字迹清晰：不连笔
内容互批表
得分点
是 否 改正次数
第一段首句“承上”
第一段尾句“启下”
第一段主要描写第一/二主人公
或描写第一/二主人公之间互动
内容互批表
得分点
是 否 改正次数
第二段首句“承上”
第二段三句话以内解决矛盾
第二段尾句：
升华主旨/以景衬情/回扣原文
第二段主要描写第一/二主人公
或描写第一/二主人公之间互动
内容互批表
得分点
是 否 改正次数
工具人只描写1次
解决矛盾后退场
埋下伏笔：1-3处
直接引语：2-3句
T H A N K Y O U F O R W A T C H I N G
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