2024届高三英语写作备考读后续写练习写作讲义-
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| 名称 | 2024届高三英语写作备考读后续写练习写作讲义- |  | |
| 格式 | docx | ||
| 文件大小 | 333.5KB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
| 版本资源 | 通用版 | ||
| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2024-04-12 19:27:27 | ||
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读后续写-
从和风细雨到狂风骤雨
续写题目
Mama notices that there has been a rise in bad manners in the family lately, such as Sister taking things from Brother without asking, and Brother pushing Sister without saying "Excuse me". It then turns into a shoving（推搡） match between the kids, with them calling each other names and making faces. Their table manners are getting worse, as instead of asking to pass items across the table, Brother and Sister stuff their mouths with food and use some of it to engage in a food fight and kick each other from under the table.
Mama tries to coax (用好话劝) the kids, then complains, and finally shouts. She also tries to ask Papa for help, but he is also part of the problem, as when Papa gets angry at the kids, he bangs (猛锤) on the table. Nothing for Mama works, so she decides to take out a big piece of cardboard and writes out her politeness plan. When she is done, Mama calls a family meeting and introduces the plan to Papa and the kids; if they do something rude such as forgetting to say "please" or "thank you", the punishment is to sweep the floor. Brother and Sister object to the politeness plan, telling Mama that she's not being fair. Mama, however, reminds the kids that they' re the ones who aren't being fair to themselves or other people. She then explains what manners are and why they are important until Papa interrupts her.
While Mama is thankful for Papa's comment, she notes that he breaks one of the rules. She hands him a feather duster and has him dust the room. Brother and Sister note how serious the plan is and both come up with the idea of being super polite to get Mama to call off the politeness plan.
Para 1: They put their idea into practice.
Para 2: Mama is pleased with the change.
They put their idea into practice.
Every "please" and "thank you" was delivered with exaggerated sweetness and every bump was followed by a sheepish apology. Moreover, mealtimes became quiet affairs punctuated only by the clinking of silverware. Mama, at first amused by their theatrics, soon found genuine pleasure in their newfound manners. Even Papa seemed to enjoy the peace, his newspaper rustling less frequently. As Papa and the children became more accustomed to the new rules, what began as a playful attempt to undermine the politeness plan transformed into a hearty welcome of change.
Mama is pleased with the change.
One evening, as they sat around the dinner table, a comfortable silence descended after a particularly delicious meal. Brother, unprompted, offered to clear the table, and Sister, with a genuine smile, thanked him. Mama met Papa’s surprised gaze, a silent understanding passing between them. It was as if the once-volatile volcano, spewing anger and disrespect, had finally settled. In that moment, bathed in the warm glow of the kitchen light, they all knew that out of the ashes of chaos, they'd created something truly special, a fertile land of love.
请领养我
地道表达积累
“But on the plus side, no Snape today,” said Ron bracingly. “可是从有利的方面看，斯内普今天也不在。”罗恩给他们打气说。——《哈利波特与凤凰社》
此处plus意思是used to describe an aspect of sth that you consider to be a good thing优点的；好的，on the plus side指的是从好的方面来看，其对立面表达为on the minus side，此处minus意思是making sth seem negative and less attractive or good负面的；使显得有欠缺的；因此这一对可以表达一个事物的两个方面e.g. On the minus side, the job doesn’t pay very well, but on the plus side, the hours are very convenient. 从不好的方面看，这份工作工资不高，但从好的方面看，工作时间很方便。
关注时间点“The next afternoon”的处理（可以第一段也可以第二段，合理即可。）；关注与段首句一的推进方式/衔接方式。
关键点是海报任务的完成闭环，提交给Mr. Goldberg。
第一段的续写要注重迁移运用：设计有关仓鼠Mr. Nibbles的海报，适当结合其特性和喜好，如上文提到的快乐地跑来跑去，好动。海报最好同时包括图案和文字。
第一段就要解决We是谁，即我和谁一起做海报，这个人应该是Ollie，因为鹦鹉是他们家的，而且根据上文他与祖母的争论，表现了他对鹦鹉的喜爱（关键特性musical）。既然Ollie是在第一段中出现，注意要有一个契机促使我们选择共同将两只动物画在海报上。
第二段具体写我们俩是如何合作完成海报的，适当的互动；还有任务的提交闭环以及与Mr. Goldberg的互动。
按照高考的分档，主要考虑：
1、情节合理性；
2、第一段与第二段之间的合理衔接；
3、第二段主题的回归（animal shelter引申出来）；
4、语言表达（辞藻合理，如过于华丽，文风不符合扣分）；
5、字数、卷面（学习态度）；
6、优秀作文不吝高分、低档作文也要适当鼓励；把握合理的区分度。
改下来的一些阅卷反馈：
1.很多同学在第一段衔接使用why not，但是用错，各种why not did/to do/doing；why not to doing；why we not to；why not we do；why not I did；why not we didn’t…乱七八糟都有
2.拼写问题draw和drew写错
3.小的语法错误比较多
4.结尾喜欢套句（看到很多篇都是一样的，这样非但不能加分反而会扣分，甚至可以理解为给阅卷老师传达信息，高考是有老师改到自己学生后说漏嘴被处罚的）：第一句是…experience was like an everlasting flower blooming in my river of memories；第二句是That experience was carved into my mind, and nothing would be able to erase it.
【文本分析】
这篇文章乍一看和2024年1月首考有异曲同工之妙，也是迁移运用类的。前面出现的重要意象a sad whale，然后写了“Please adopt me” in the shape of a whale spout。根据段首句二得知，后文主要围绕仓鼠和家里的鹦鹉Blue进行展开“我”的构思。
文章中出现的人物比较多：
我、我的朋友奥利（Ollie）、奥利的祖母（Abuela）、奥利的祖母的朋友戈尔德伯格先生（Mr. Goldberg）、我的弟弟、我们家的仓鼠（Mr. Nibbles）、我们家的鹦鹉（Blue）
视角：第一人称
线索：奥利的乱画、戈尔德伯格先生对动物收容所情况的讨论、我们决定设计海报的过程，我在家中和弟弟以及仓鼠的互动，以及前文提到的musical的鹦鹉Blue。
主题：对待动物的责任和关爱，以及如何通过创意和合作来迁移运用解决问题。
【学生习作】
Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. With my pen flying on my paper, Mr. Nibbles appeared on it vividly, running around merrily. Appreciating my masterpiece in hand, I couldn’t help draw more Mr. Nibbles living in my house joyly and freely. The next afteroon, as we met up again, we exchanged our ideas about the poster. Seeing Blue singing songs, I bursted into a laughter. So did Ollie. “Blue who is singing songs is funny!” I pointed at his paper, saying. “Your Mr. Nibbles is interesting as well!” Then, we tried to find a best idea.
We decided to make both Mr. Nibbles and Blue the stars of the poster. With the idea identified, we began to create our poster. We intended to draw some clever talking animals and both Mr. Nibbles and Blue, passing the eager of these homeless animals that they wanted to be adopted. As we finished the poster, we dashed into the local animal shelter Mr. Goldberg was in charge of. He praised us and hang the poster. Later, Mr. Goldberg tought us many pets were adopted, thanks to our efforts grabing people’s attention.
得分20分。整体情节非常流畅自然，虽有诸多小的语法或拼写错误，但是瑕不掩瑜，能在有限的时间里能写出这样的文章，算很出彩了。
小错误的修改：draw-but draw；joyly-joyfully；afteroon-afternoon；bursted-burst；a laughter-laughter；eager-eagerness；hang-hung；tought-taught但是这里并不太合适；grabing-grabbing（但是这里要改成to grab）
这篇文章该有的情节都写到了，第一段画仓鼠Mr. Nibbles；合理运用the next afternoon，选择交换意见然后合理用上鹦鹉Blue并合理衔接到第二段。第二段写了想法付诸实践，并提交任务给Mr. Goldberg。
大体上情节没有问题，美中不足的是没有迁移沿用类似上文提到的words “Please adopt me” in the shape of a whale spout，以及在设计后面的海报时没能特别凸显出两只动物的特点。
The polished version：
Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. With my pen gliding across the paper, Mr. Nibbles materialized before my eyes, running around merrily. Appreciating my masterpiece in hand, I couldn’t help but depict more scenes of Mr. Nibbles living in my house joyfully and freely. The next afternoon, as we met up again, we exchanged our ideas about the poster. Seeing Blue singing songs, I burst into laughter. So did Ollie. “Blue singing is just funny!” I exclaimed, pointing to his creation. “And your Mr. Nibbles is equally interesting!” Then, together we tried to refine our ideas.
We decided to make both Mr. Nibbles and Blue the stars of the poster. With the idea identified, we set to work on bringing our vision to life. Our goal was to draw a group of clever, conversational animals with Mr. Nibbles and Blue in the center, showing the eagerness of these homeless animals that they wanted to be adopted. Upon completing the poster, we eagerly dashed into the local animal shelter Mr. Goldberg was in charge of. His face splitting into a smile, he gave us a thumbs-up and promptly displayed the poster. In the days that followed, Mr. Goldberg shared with us the heartwarming news that many pets were adopted and our collaborative endeavor paid off.
参考范文
Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. Why not put Mr. Nibbles on the poster I eagerly sketched out a design featuring Mr. Nibbles in a playful pose, promoting the joy of pet adoption, “Want a pet to play with Go get one in the local animal shelter.” I admired my work with great satisfaction. The next afternoon, Ollie came over with his notebook. His design was centered on his parrot, Blue, who was singing beautifully “Oh! Be our hero! Give shelter pets a chance to be loved!” We exchanged a smile and engaged in a discussion about the final draft of the poster.
We decided to make both Mr. Nibblesin and Blue the stars of the bining my playful hamster and Ollie’s melodious parrot, we created a vibrant and eye-catching design. After adding the final touches, we proudly presented our final creation to Mr. Goldberg. His face lit up as he praised the creativity and heartfelt message behind our design. A couple of months later, Mr. Goldberg shared the exciting news that lots of people had come in after seeing the posters. And some of them decided to donate or adopt! We hadn’t expected our poster would cause such a sensation, but we did know our small bit of help would create a meaningful ripple.
从和风细雨到狂风骤雨
续写题目
Mama notices that there has been a rise in bad manners in the family lately, such as Sister taking things from Brother without asking, and Brother pushing Sister without saying "Excuse me". It then turns into a shoving（推搡） match between the kids, with them calling each other names and making faces. Their table manners are getting worse, as instead of asking to pass items across the table, Brother and Sister stuff their mouths with food and use some of it to engage in a food fight and kick each other from under the table.
Mama tries to coax (用好话劝) the kids, then complains, and finally shouts. She also tries to ask Papa for help, but he is also part of the problem, as when Papa gets angry at the kids, he bangs (猛锤) on the table. Nothing for Mama works, so she decides to take out a big piece of cardboard and writes out her politeness plan. When she is done, Mama calls a family meeting and introduces the plan to Papa and the kids; if they do something rude such as forgetting to say "please" or "thank you", the punishment is to sweep the floor. Brother and Sister object to the politeness plan, telling Mama that she's not being fair. Mama, however, reminds the kids that they' re the ones who aren't being fair to themselves or other people. She then explains what manners are and why they are important until Papa interrupts her.
While Mama is thankful for Papa's comment, she notes that he breaks one of the rules. She hands him a feather duster and has him dust the room. Brother and Sister note how serious the plan is and both come up with the idea of being super polite to get Mama to call off the politeness plan.
Para 1: They put their idea into practice.
Para 2: Mama is pleased with the change.
They put their idea into practice.
Every "please" and "thank you" was delivered with exaggerated sweetness and every bump was followed by a sheepish apology. Moreover, mealtimes became quiet affairs punctuated only by the clinking of silverware. Mama, at first amused by their theatrics, soon found genuine pleasure in their newfound manners. Even Papa seemed to enjoy the peace, his newspaper rustling less frequently. As Papa and the children became more accustomed to the new rules, what began as a playful attempt to undermine the politeness plan transformed into a hearty welcome of change.
Mama is pleased with the change.
One evening, as they sat around the dinner table, a comfortable silence descended after a particularly delicious meal. Brother, unprompted, offered to clear the table, and Sister, with a genuine smile, thanked him. Mama met Papa’s surprised gaze, a silent understanding passing between them. It was as if the once-volatile volcano, spewing anger and disrespect, had finally settled. In that moment, bathed in the warm glow of the kitchen light, they all knew that out of the ashes of chaos, they'd created something truly special, a fertile land of love.
请领养我
地道表达积累
“But on the plus side, no Snape today,” said Ron bracingly. “可是从有利的方面看，斯内普今天也不在。”罗恩给他们打气说。——《哈利波特与凤凰社》
此处plus意思是used to describe an aspect of sth that you consider to be a good thing优点的；好的，on the plus side指的是从好的方面来看，其对立面表达为on the minus side，此处minus意思是making sth seem negative and less attractive or good负面的；使显得有欠缺的；因此这一对可以表达一个事物的两个方面e.g. On the minus side, the job doesn’t pay very well, but on the plus side, the hours are very convenient. 从不好的方面看，这份工作工资不高，但从好的方面看，工作时间很方便。
关注时间点“The next afternoon”的处理（可以第一段也可以第二段，合理即可。）；关注与段首句一的推进方式/衔接方式。
关键点是海报任务的完成闭环，提交给Mr. Goldberg。
第一段的续写要注重迁移运用：设计有关仓鼠Mr. Nibbles的海报，适当结合其特性和喜好，如上文提到的快乐地跑来跑去，好动。海报最好同时包括图案和文字。
第一段就要解决We是谁，即我和谁一起做海报，这个人应该是Ollie，因为鹦鹉是他们家的，而且根据上文他与祖母的争论，表现了他对鹦鹉的喜爱（关键特性musical）。既然Ollie是在第一段中出现，注意要有一个契机促使我们选择共同将两只动物画在海报上。
第二段具体写我们俩是如何合作完成海报的，适当的互动；还有任务的提交闭环以及与Mr. Goldberg的互动。
按照高考的分档，主要考虑：
1、情节合理性；
2、第一段与第二段之间的合理衔接；
3、第二段主题的回归（animal shelter引申出来）；
4、语言表达（辞藻合理，如过于华丽，文风不符合扣分）；
5、字数、卷面（学习态度）；
6、优秀作文不吝高分、低档作文也要适当鼓励；把握合理的区分度。
改下来的一些阅卷反馈：
1.很多同学在第一段衔接使用why not，但是用错，各种why not did/to do/doing；why not to doing；why we not to；why not we do；why not I did；why not we didn’t…乱七八糟都有
2.拼写问题draw和drew写错
3.小的语法错误比较多
4.结尾喜欢套句（看到很多篇都是一样的，这样非但不能加分反而会扣分，甚至可以理解为给阅卷老师传达信息，高考是有老师改到自己学生后说漏嘴被处罚的）：第一句是…experience was like an everlasting flower blooming in my river of memories；第二句是That experience was carved into my mind, and nothing would be able to erase it.
【文本分析】
这篇文章乍一看和2024年1月首考有异曲同工之妙，也是迁移运用类的。前面出现的重要意象a sad whale，然后写了“Please adopt me” in the shape of a whale spout。根据段首句二得知，后文主要围绕仓鼠和家里的鹦鹉Blue进行展开“我”的构思。
文章中出现的人物比较多：
我、我的朋友奥利（Ollie）、奥利的祖母（Abuela）、奥利的祖母的朋友戈尔德伯格先生（Mr. Goldberg）、我的弟弟、我们家的仓鼠（Mr. Nibbles）、我们家的鹦鹉（Blue）
视角：第一人称
线索：奥利的乱画、戈尔德伯格先生对动物收容所情况的讨论、我们决定设计海报的过程，我在家中和弟弟以及仓鼠的互动，以及前文提到的musical的鹦鹉Blue。
主题：对待动物的责任和关爱，以及如何通过创意和合作来迁移运用解决问题。
【学生习作】
Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. With my pen flying on my paper, Mr. Nibbles appeared on it vividly, running around merrily. Appreciating my masterpiece in hand, I couldn’t help draw more Mr. Nibbles living in my house joyly and freely. The next afteroon, as we met up again, we exchanged our ideas about the poster. Seeing Blue singing songs, I bursted into a laughter. So did Ollie. “Blue who is singing songs is funny!” I pointed at his paper, saying. “Your Mr. Nibbles is interesting as well!” Then, we tried to find a best idea.
We decided to make both Mr. Nibbles and Blue the stars of the poster. With the idea identified, we began to create our poster. We intended to draw some clever talking animals and both Mr. Nibbles and Blue, passing the eager of these homeless animals that they wanted to be adopted. As we finished the poster, we dashed into the local animal shelter Mr. Goldberg was in charge of. He praised us and hang the poster. Later, Mr. Goldberg tought us many pets were adopted, thanks to our efforts grabing people’s attention.
得分20分。整体情节非常流畅自然，虽有诸多小的语法或拼写错误，但是瑕不掩瑜，能在有限的时间里能写出这样的文章，算很出彩了。
小错误的修改：draw-but draw；joyly-joyfully；afteroon-afternoon；bursted-burst；a laughter-laughter；eager-eagerness；hang-hung；tought-taught但是这里并不太合适；grabing-grabbing（但是这里要改成to grab）
这篇文章该有的情节都写到了，第一段画仓鼠Mr. Nibbles；合理运用the next afternoon，选择交换意见然后合理用上鹦鹉Blue并合理衔接到第二段。第二段写了想法付诸实践，并提交任务给Mr. Goldberg。
大体上情节没有问题，美中不足的是没有迁移沿用类似上文提到的words “Please adopt me” in the shape of a whale spout，以及在设计后面的海报时没能特别凸显出两只动物的特点。
The polished version：
Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. With my pen gliding across the paper, Mr. Nibbles materialized before my eyes, running around merrily. Appreciating my masterpiece in hand, I couldn’t help but depict more scenes of Mr. Nibbles living in my house joyfully and freely. The next afternoon, as we met up again, we exchanged our ideas about the poster. Seeing Blue singing songs, I burst into laughter. So did Ollie. “Blue singing is just funny!” I exclaimed, pointing to his creation. “And your Mr. Nibbles is equally interesting!” Then, together we tried to refine our ideas.
We decided to make both Mr. Nibbles and Blue the stars of the poster. With the idea identified, we set to work on bringing our vision to life. Our goal was to draw a group of clever, conversational animals with Mr. Nibbles and Blue in the center, showing the eagerness of these homeless animals that they wanted to be adopted. Upon completing the poster, we eagerly dashed into the local animal shelter Mr. Goldberg was in charge of. His face splitting into a smile, he gave us a thumbs-up and promptly displayed the poster. In the days that followed, Mr. Goldberg shared with us the heartwarming news that many pets were adopted and our collaborative endeavor paid off.
参考范文
Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. Why not put Mr. Nibbles on the poster I eagerly sketched out a design featuring Mr. Nibbles in a playful pose, promoting the joy of pet adoption, “Want a pet to play with Go get one in the local animal shelter.” I admired my work with great satisfaction. The next afternoon, Ollie came over with his notebook. His design was centered on his parrot, Blue, who was singing beautifully “Oh! Be our hero! Give shelter pets a chance to be loved!” We exchanged a smile and engaged in a discussion about the final draft of the poster.
We decided to make both Mr. Nibblesin and Blue the stars of the bining my playful hamster and Ollie’s melodious parrot, we created a vibrant and eye-catching design. After adding the final touches, we proudly presented our final creation to Mr. Goldberg. His face lit up as he praised the creativity and heartfelt message behind our design. A couple of months later, Mr. Goldberg shared the exciting news that lots of people had come in after seeing the posters. And some of them decided to donate or adopt! We hadn’t expected our poster would cause such a sensation, but we did know our small bit of help would create a meaningful ripple.