2024届高三英语广东省一模读后续写：学企鹅取暖课件(共33张PPT)
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| 名称 | 2024届高三英语广东省一模读后续写：学企鹅取暖课件(共33张PPT) |  | |
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| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
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| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2024-04-18 15:31:11 | ||
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文档简介
(共33张PPT)
学企鹅取暖
Maggie
写作指导10
广东省一模读后续写
企鹅究竟是如何在零下40摄氏度抵御寒冷的？_哔哩哔哩_bilibili
https://www./video/BV1Kg411E7Mn/ spm_id_from=333.337.search-card.all.click&vd_source=9fe282396c504b57869d99536453cfd7
一、主题解读
属于“人与自然”主题语境下的人与动物和谐相处。
二、故事梗概
玛丽和汤姆是南极实验室科学家的孩子，他们两人经常在实验室研究企鹅，观察它们是如何适应极端温度。这样的设定比较新颖。一次，科学家们外出考察，两人留在实验室照顾企鹅。突然，实验室的加热器出现故障，温度直线下降。由于大人不在，孩子们将不得不应对寒冷的天气，直到救援人员到来。
三、文本特点
文章讲述的是一个关于爱护动物以及创造性地解决问题的故事，续写的情节具有一定的开放性，有利于考查学生的创新思维。续写前文描述了一个危及生命的事件，在这样的事件中，考察学生解决问题的能力。
学生要清楚读取前文的第六段，特别是最后汤姆看着一群企鹅。思考如何运用企鹅取暖的方法解决目前人寒冷的问题，考查学生的类比思维的运用。根据故事的发展逻辑和两个给出的段落起始句的信息，第一段应该主要写Tom如何帮助企鹅取暖，第二段应该写父母的反应以及Tom的收获和感悟。
读后续写两大制胜法宝
五字真经
在已定框架范围内，依据情节和情感的发展需要，利用前文的伏笔，结合生活常识，确定续写段落中可能出现的人物，推断这个或这些人物“所见、所闻、所说、所想、所做(即见、闻、说、想、做五字真经)”，由此去构想和补充合理的情节。
①When Mary entered the South Pole Penguin Research Lab, she saw her friend Tom gently stroking(轻抚)a penguin in his arms. As children of the lab scientists, Mary and Tom often observed the emperor penguin as that were studied to understand how they adapted to extreme temperatures--insights that could aid human survival.
②"We're thirteen, Tom. It's time to grow up and stop playing with the lab penguins ," said Mary as she started cleaning.“They' re research animals, not pets.“
③ “But the birds listen to me!” insisted Tom, his breath forming a cloud in the freezing air. “You're just trying to be a penguin whisperer again ,” Mary replied, shaking her head with a gentle smile. The penguins seemed playful as they walked, dove, swam and chased their live fish for sport before eating.
④ Suddenly, an alarm rang out and red lights flashed, signaling a problem. The kids rushed over to look into it. “It's colder than before--there's ice forming on the water,” noted Tom. Though always cold, Mary had never seen ice here before. She checked the habitat monitor and found that the temperature had gone down a lot. “The heater must be broken!“
⑤ Mary quickly sent a message to their parents’ research team, who were conducting outdoor studies. With the adults away, the kids would have to deal with the freezing conditions until help arrived.
⑥ Time dragged as Mary and Tom anxiously waited. The increasing cold caused them to shake. “I wonder what emperor penguins do in extreme cold, since they stay in the Pole all winter instead of going somewhere warmer," asked Mary.“They huddle (挤作一团),”Tom answered. “They huddle together tightly so that the birds in the middle will be warm enough.”“What about the ones on the edge ” Mary asked.“They push their way towards the center, and then move back out to the edge, and struggle back again. Scientists in the early 21st century recorded it. ” He replied as he stared at the large crowd of the penguins in the lab.
P1-3 背景:
5WH: who ; where; what: Mary and Tom stayed with penguins.
P4 问题:
Heater broke down and temperature went down
P5-6 思考解决方法: Mary contacted parents and Tom thought hard about how penguins stayed warm
文本分析
续写前文概要：
玛丽和汤姆是南极实验室科学家的孩子，他们两人经常在实验室研究企鹅，观察它们是如何适应极端温度。一次，科学家们外出考察，两人留在实验室照顾企鹅。突然，实验室的加热器出现故障，温度直线下降。由于大人不在，孩子们将不得不应对寒冷的天气，直到救援人员到来。
文本特点：
续写前文描述了一个危及生命的事件，在这样的事件中，考察青少年解决问题的能力。
Characters: Mary、Tom
Personality/Characteristics:
Mary和Tom是两个在对待实验动物态度上截然不同的孩子，Mary认为基地中的那些企鹅不过是实验动物research animals，而Tom则从小将他们当成宠物来看待，原文中明确给出了Tom是一个penguin whisperer的线索。因此我们得到了第一个亟待解决的矛盾点：Mary要通过接下来的事件去改变自己对企鹅的看法，甚至于达到Tom的“鹅语者”的状态。
Elements of the story
nature inspires humans
nature’s wisdom
human-nature harmony
Tom
Mary
stay warm/
survive the cold
join the huddle
they survived
clues----------indication
1. When Mary entered the South Pole Penguin Research Lab, she saw her friend Tom gently stroking(轻抚) a penguin in his arms. As children of the lab scientists, Mary and Tom often observed the emperor penguins that were studied to understand how they adapted to extreme temperatures—insights that could aid human survival.
2. “ We’re thirteen, Tom. It’s time to grow up and stop playing with the lab penguins,”said Mary as she started cleaning. “They're research animals, not pets.”
they are close
human-nature relationship
Clues----------Indication
3.“But the birds listen to me!” insisted Tom, his breath forming a cloud in the freezing air. “You’re just trying to be a penguin whisperer again,” Mary replied, shaking her head with a gentle smile. The penguins seemed playful as they walked, dove, swam and chased their live fish for sport before eating.
4. Suddenly, an alarm rang out and red lights flashed, signaling a problem. The kids rushed over to look into it. “It's colder than before—there's ice forming on the water,”noted Tom. Though always cold, Mary had never seen ice here before. She checked the habitat monitor and found that the temperature had gone down a lot. “The heater must be broken!”
familiarity
extreme
temperature
Actions--Reactions--Emotions
Para. 1 “I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly.
Para. 2 Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help.
1. What was the idea
2. How they did it
3. They survived
4. Parents’ reaction
5. Kids’ response
6. Inspiration
propose/suggest;
stroke/whisper/join
bent/knelt/approach/
struggle/push/squeeze
/allow/move
confident/disbelief/
hesitant/skeptical/
cautious/relieved/
relaxed
hurry/rush/scream/
search/spot/stare/exclaim/ask/repair/praise/admire/Waddle/swim/
chase/dive
shocked/relieved/
amazed/proud/grateful/admiring/affectionate/
enlightened
actions+feelings
1. Tom suggested huddling the penguins. (情绪，言语，动作)
2. Mary hesitated. (ARE)
3. Tom tried to join the penguins. (动作链)
4. The penguins accepted Tom. (动作链)
5. Mary’s reaction.
6. Tom and Mary waited. (内心活动+动作)
------------------------------------------------------
1. Parents came in.
2. Parents saw the kids with the penguins.
3. Tom and Mary explained their action.
4. Reactions and comments on Tom.
5. Inspiration:
情节故事山结构
Beginning: Mary和Tom在南极企鹅研究实验室内，Tom与企鹅亲密互动，而Mary则提醒他要认真对待这些研究动物。
Build-up: 实验室内的加热器故障，导致温度下降，孩子们必须找到保持温暖的方法。
Climax: Tom提出了一个灵感来自企鹅的保暖策略，即通过群聚来共享体温。
Resolution: Mary和Tom加入企鹅群中，通过模仿企鹅的群聚行为来保持温暖。
End: 大人们回来修好了加热器，Mary和Tom从这次经历中学到了重要的生存技能，并加深了他们对自然界的理解和尊重
情节注意问题：
第一段：
①是否衔接得当： Tom想到取暖的办法。是什么办法，要交代清楚。 若没有写出酌情扣分。
②按照Tom的方法他们怎么做的？要有动作描写。效果怎么样？若没有写出酌情扣分。
③第一段末尾处的衔接：他们自救的同时满怀信心地等待父母归来。 若没有写出酌情扣分。
第二段：
①是否衔接得当：父母回来之后会做什么以及如何帮助解决问题的。若没有写出酌情扣分。
②父母看到两个孩子安然无恙会怎么想怎么做？
③ 从这起事件中他们学到了什么？
其他情节，只要合情合理，不扣分。
建议根据学生语言能力，先确定档次：22-25分：表达生动、准确、多样，书写美观，没有语法错误或极少的语法错误。17-21分：表述较准确，能够达成写作任务但不够地道自然，有几处语法错误。12-16分：基本达成写作任务，用词达意度尚可，有较多明显的语法错误。7-11分：达成写作任务程度低，语言问题多，词不达意，影响理解。0-6分：不能达成写作任务，抄袭前文，语言能力极弱。
得分：23-24内容丰富、合理，富有逻辑性，续写完整，与原文情境融洽度高。使用了恰当且多样的词汇和语法结构，有极个别小错，但完全不影响理解。有效地使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构清晰，意义连贯。
得分：18 -19分主题合理，故事完整，细节描写丰富，但有个别情节不够自然（例如第一段讲到 they must use all their strength to make their way，与原文Tom所说的“But the birds listen to me！”契合度不高）。语言表达方面，能尝试运用丰富的句子结构，有一定的语言积累，但部分表达有语法错误，如 They encourage the other with trembling voice, and waited for ...以及None can survive in that condition ...。
3档 (11-15)
得分：13-14本文创造了基本合理的内容，有一定的逻辑性，续写基本完整，与原文情境相关，但第二段结尾稍差。本文使用了简单的词汇和语法结构，有一些错误或不恰当之处，但基本不影响理解。基本有效地使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构基本清晰，意义基本连贯。
2档（6-10）
评分：7-8 情节走向基本合理，但部分情节与原文情境有一定程度脱节，续写不够完整。语言上，所使用的词汇有限，语法结构单调，单词拼写错误较多，影响理解。书写欠工整，涂改多。
sample writing
03
“I have an idea to stay warm” Tom shouted excitedly. Spreading his arms, he suggested joining the penguin huddles. Worried that the penguins wouldn’t let them, Mary hesitated but was soon persuaded by Tom’s assuring grin. He slowly approached the crowded penguins, crouching down. Gently stroking them with care, he whispered softly. Though startled at first, the penguins recognized Tom and let him into their group. Mary quickly followed. The children squeezed into the huddle,sedge with the penguins. Just as the birds did, they moved toward the middle and back out as the group shifted.
Version 1
“我有个办法可以保暖！”汤姆兴奋地喊道。他张开双臂，建议加入企鹅群。玛丽担心企鹅们不会同意，她犹豫了一下，但很快就被汤姆的笑容说服了。他慢慢地走近拥挤的企鹅群，蹲下身子。轻轻地、小心翼翼地抚摸着它们，他轻声地说。企鹅们虽然一开始很吃惊，但还是认出了汤姆，并让他加入了他们的队伍。玛丽很快地跟了上去。孩子们挤在企鹅群的边缘。就像鸟儿一样，随着群体的变化，它们也向中间移动，然后又向外面移动。
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. Rushing in calling for the kids, they were surprised. The children were safely surrounded by penguins in a large bundle. When asked how they stayed warm, the kids looked at each other proudly. “We copied what the emperor penguins do” they told their parents. Mary patted Tom,s shoulder with admiration, calling him a penguin whisperer. With a big smile, Tom gave credit to the penguins who taught them a lot. Their teamwork had seen them through the difficult cold with the penguins, aid.
两个半小时后，父母带着帮助回来了。冲进来喊孩子们，他们都很惊讶。孩子们被企鹅们包在一个大包袱里，安全地包围着。当被问及如何保暖时，孩子们自豪地交换了眼神。“我们利用了企鹅的做法，”他们告诉了父母。玛丽赞赏地拍着汤姆的肩膀，称他为“企鹅语者”。带着灿烂的笑容，汤姆把功劳归于企鹅，因为企鹅教会了他们很多东西。他们的团队合作帮助他们在企鹅的帮助下度过了严寒。
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly. Tom suggested joining the penguins with their huddles to get warm. Mary hesitated with concern that the birds wouldn’t accept them. Tom grinned with confidence while approaching the birds which had already crowded together due to the temperature. Slowly and gently, he crouched down to get close to the penguins, reached out his hands and stroke them with great affection, whispering to them soothingly. Though alarmed at first, the penguins recognized him and allowed him into their huddle with intimacy. Mary quickly followed his lead. The two kids squeezed their way from the edge of the crowd to the center and returned to the edge with the flow, just as the birds did.
第10周默写资料 学企鹅取暖读后续写
“我有个办法可以保暖！”汤姆兴奋地喊道。汤姆建议和企鹅们一起挤在一起取暖。玛丽担心那些鸟不会接受它们，所以犹豫不决。汤姆自信地露齿而笑，走近那些由于气温的原因已经挤在一起的鸟儿。慢慢地，轻轻地，他蹲下身去接近企鹅，伸出双手，深情地抚摸它们，轻声安慰它们。虽然企鹅们一开始很警觉，但还是认出了他，并让他亲密地挤在一起。玛丽很快地跟随他的脚步。两个孩子从人群的边缘挤到中央，又像鸟儿一样随着人流回到边缘。
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. When the parents rushed in screaming out the kids’names, they were amazed to see the kids were tightly surrounded by a huge group of penguins, safe and sound. When asked how they managed to brave this terrible cold, the two kids exchanged a glance and proudly told them it was the secret of the emperor penguins that helped them keep warm. Patting Tomon the shoulder, Mary said with sincere admiration, “ You are a true penguin whisperer.” With a beam lighting up his face, Tom praised the penguins for what they taught him.
两个半小时后，父母带着帮助回来了。当父母们喊着孩子们的名字冲进来时，他们惊讶地发现孩子们被一大群皇帝紧紧地包围着，安然无恙。当被问到他们是如何克服这种可怕的寒冷时，两个孩子交换了一个眼神，并自豪地告诉他们这是帝企鹅帮助他们保暖的秘密。玛丽拍了拍汤姆的肩膀，由衷地赞叹道：“你真是一个不折不扣的企鹅语者！”汤姆的脸上闪耀着光芒，他称赞企鹅们教会了他很多东西。
Paragraph 1: “I have an idea to stay warm!" Tom shouted excitedly.
He whistled to his beloved birds and gingerly waved a fish in his hand. No sooner he stopped waving than a tribe of penguins paddled around two of them. Tom fed the first arrival with the fish. The signal was sent to the rest of the penguins. They all huddled towards the children. In a minute, they were so tightly surrounded by an army of furry animals that their frozen feet started to get warm. When their numb fingers began to get flexible, they joyfully feed the lovely penguins with the fish in the bucket. Mary relaxed a little bit and thanked Tom for his excellent idea to tackle the emergency, while patiently waiting for parents to return.
Paragraph 2: Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. They were first amazed by what they saw, but they got it instantly.With water becoming ice blocks, their children's survival entirely depended on the warmth of the emperor penguins close by. The parents immediately fixed the habitat heater. When it returned to normal, the parents hugged the children tightly and appreciated their quick wit to solve the problem. Mary patted on Tom's shoulders and thumbed up at him, saying it was his idea that worked. Tom affectionately looked at the penguins as they scattered to walk, dive and swim, thinking actually they were the real heroes.
【写作详解】
【高分句型与描写1】
Spreading his arms, he suggested joining the penguin huddles. He slowly approached the crowded penguins, crouching down. Gently stroking them with care, he whispered softly. (非谓语动词做状语)
【高分句型与描写 2】
Slowly and gently, he crouched down to get close to the penguins, reached out his hands and stroke them with great affection, whispering to them soothingly. (动作链描写)
Patting Tom on his shoulder, Mary said with sincere admiration, “You are a true penguin whisperer!” (回应原文)
With a big smile, Tom gave credit to the penguins who taught them a lot. Their teamwork had seen them through the difficult cold with the penguins’ aid. (精彩点题)
As a nature photographer, I have to brave the elements. B1U5P2 An Encounter with Nature
Eyes sparkling with astonishment, the parents exclaimed, “It’s amazing how you braved the cold!”
One of the best things about this job is that you can observe animals in their natural environment. B1U5P2 An Encounter with Nature
One of the best things about working with animals is that you can never get enough of nature’s wisdom.
Imitate sentence patterns
Imitate sentence patterns
From time to time I look at the photo as a reminder to show respect to all animals. It is after all we who are the visitors to their world. B1U5P2 An Encounter with Nature
From time to time, the kids would recall the experience as a reminder to show respect to all animals. While aware that humans are only visitors to their world, they also realized that humans remain life-long learners of nature.
Imitate sentence patterns
Spotting the car with its window left open, the greedy thief didn't hesitate. Within seconds, he had reached inside and run away with a bag of shopping. B5U6P1 The Wild Within
Spotting a space between two penguins on the outside, Tom didn’t hesitate and suqueezed in. With a few nudges, he reached inside and immediately felt a wave of much-needed warmth enveloping him.
Relate to the topic: actions
Its rapture could be easily told when its coal black eyes rested on me; it jerked from side to side, with wings fanning crazily, and squeaked joyously. Then, it dipped down, landed on my shoulder and began to comb its feather with curved beak. Jan 2023 浙江 Hummingbird
Looking at the penguis flapping their flippers, waddling, diving, swirling, and combing their feathers, the kids developed a newfound sense of appreciation for their playful and wise wild neighbors.
Thank You!
学企鹅取暖
Maggie
写作指导10
广东省一模读后续写
企鹅究竟是如何在零下40摄氏度抵御寒冷的？_哔哩哔哩_bilibili
https://www./video/BV1Kg411E7Mn/ spm_id_from=333.337.search-card.all.click&vd_source=9fe282396c504b57869d99536453cfd7
一、主题解读
属于“人与自然”主题语境下的人与动物和谐相处。
二、故事梗概
玛丽和汤姆是南极实验室科学家的孩子，他们两人经常在实验室研究企鹅，观察它们是如何适应极端温度。这样的设定比较新颖。一次，科学家们外出考察，两人留在实验室照顾企鹅。突然，实验室的加热器出现故障，温度直线下降。由于大人不在，孩子们将不得不应对寒冷的天气，直到救援人员到来。
三、文本特点
文章讲述的是一个关于爱护动物以及创造性地解决问题的故事，续写的情节具有一定的开放性，有利于考查学生的创新思维。续写前文描述了一个危及生命的事件，在这样的事件中，考察学生解决问题的能力。
学生要清楚读取前文的第六段，特别是最后汤姆看着一群企鹅。思考如何运用企鹅取暖的方法解决目前人寒冷的问题，考查学生的类比思维的运用。根据故事的发展逻辑和两个给出的段落起始句的信息，第一段应该主要写Tom如何帮助企鹅取暖，第二段应该写父母的反应以及Tom的收获和感悟。
读后续写两大制胜法宝
五字真经
在已定框架范围内，依据情节和情感的发展需要，利用前文的伏笔，结合生活常识，确定续写段落中可能出现的人物，推断这个或这些人物“所见、所闻、所说、所想、所做(即见、闻、说、想、做五字真经)”，由此去构想和补充合理的情节。
①When Mary entered the South Pole Penguin Research Lab, she saw her friend Tom gently stroking(轻抚)a penguin in his arms. As children of the lab scientists, Mary and Tom often observed the emperor penguin as that were studied to understand how they adapted to extreme temperatures--insights that could aid human survival.
②"We're thirteen, Tom. It's time to grow up and stop playing with the lab penguins ," said Mary as she started cleaning.“They' re research animals, not pets.“
③ “But the birds listen to me!” insisted Tom, his breath forming a cloud in the freezing air. “You're just trying to be a penguin whisperer again ,” Mary replied, shaking her head with a gentle smile. The penguins seemed playful as they walked, dove, swam and chased their live fish for sport before eating.
④ Suddenly, an alarm rang out and red lights flashed, signaling a problem. The kids rushed over to look into it. “It's colder than before--there's ice forming on the water,” noted Tom. Though always cold, Mary had never seen ice here before. She checked the habitat monitor and found that the temperature had gone down a lot. “The heater must be broken!“
⑤ Mary quickly sent a message to their parents’ research team, who were conducting outdoor studies. With the adults away, the kids would have to deal with the freezing conditions until help arrived.
⑥ Time dragged as Mary and Tom anxiously waited. The increasing cold caused them to shake. “I wonder what emperor penguins do in extreme cold, since they stay in the Pole all winter instead of going somewhere warmer," asked Mary.“They huddle (挤作一团),”Tom answered. “They huddle together tightly so that the birds in the middle will be warm enough.”“What about the ones on the edge ” Mary asked.“They push their way towards the center, and then move back out to the edge, and struggle back again. Scientists in the early 21st century recorded it. ” He replied as he stared at the large crowd of the penguins in the lab.
P1-3 背景:
5WH: who ; where; what: Mary and Tom stayed with penguins.
P4 问题:
Heater broke down and temperature went down
P5-6 思考解决方法: Mary contacted parents and Tom thought hard about how penguins stayed warm
文本分析
续写前文概要：
玛丽和汤姆是南极实验室科学家的孩子，他们两人经常在实验室研究企鹅，观察它们是如何适应极端温度。一次，科学家们外出考察，两人留在实验室照顾企鹅。突然，实验室的加热器出现故障，温度直线下降。由于大人不在，孩子们将不得不应对寒冷的天气，直到救援人员到来。
文本特点：
续写前文描述了一个危及生命的事件，在这样的事件中，考察青少年解决问题的能力。
Characters: Mary、Tom
Personality/Characteristics:
Mary和Tom是两个在对待实验动物态度上截然不同的孩子，Mary认为基地中的那些企鹅不过是实验动物research animals，而Tom则从小将他们当成宠物来看待，原文中明确给出了Tom是一个penguin whisperer的线索。因此我们得到了第一个亟待解决的矛盾点：Mary要通过接下来的事件去改变自己对企鹅的看法，甚至于达到Tom的“鹅语者”的状态。
Elements of the story
nature inspires humans
nature’s wisdom
human-nature harmony
Tom
Mary
stay warm/
survive the cold
join the huddle
they survived
clues----------indication
1. When Mary entered the South Pole Penguin Research Lab, she saw her friend Tom gently stroking(轻抚) a penguin in his arms. As children of the lab scientists, Mary and Tom often observed the emperor penguins that were studied to understand how they adapted to extreme temperatures—insights that could aid human survival.
2. “ We’re thirteen, Tom. It’s time to grow up and stop playing with the lab penguins,”said Mary as she started cleaning. “They're research animals, not pets.”
they are close
human-nature relationship
Clues----------Indication
3.“But the birds listen to me!” insisted Tom, his breath forming a cloud in the freezing air. “You’re just trying to be a penguin whisperer again,” Mary replied, shaking her head with a gentle smile. The penguins seemed playful as they walked, dove, swam and chased their live fish for sport before eating.
4. Suddenly, an alarm rang out and red lights flashed, signaling a problem. The kids rushed over to look into it. “It's colder than before—there's ice forming on the water,”noted Tom. Though always cold, Mary had never seen ice here before. She checked the habitat monitor and found that the temperature had gone down a lot. “The heater must be broken!”
familiarity
extreme
temperature
Actions--Reactions--Emotions
Para. 1 “I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly.
Para. 2 Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help.
1. What was the idea
2. How they did it
3. They survived
4. Parents’ reaction
5. Kids’ response
6. Inspiration
propose/suggest;
stroke/whisper/join
bent/knelt/approach/
struggle/push/squeeze
/allow/move
confident/disbelief/
hesitant/skeptical/
cautious/relieved/
relaxed
hurry/rush/scream/
search/spot/stare/exclaim/ask/repair/praise/admire/Waddle/swim/
chase/dive
shocked/relieved/
amazed/proud/grateful/admiring/affectionate/
enlightened
actions+feelings
1. Tom suggested huddling the penguins. (情绪，言语，动作)
2. Mary hesitated. (ARE)
3. Tom tried to join the penguins. (动作链)
4. The penguins accepted Tom. (动作链)
5. Mary’s reaction.
6. Tom and Mary waited. (内心活动+动作)
------------------------------------------------------
1. Parents came in.
2. Parents saw the kids with the penguins.
3. Tom and Mary explained their action.
4. Reactions and comments on Tom.
5. Inspiration:
情节故事山结构
Beginning: Mary和Tom在南极企鹅研究实验室内，Tom与企鹅亲密互动，而Mary则提醒他要认真对待这些研究动物。
Build-up: 实验室内的加热器故障，导致温度下降，孩子们必须找到保持温暖的方法。
Climax: Tom提出了一个灵感来自企鹅的保暖策略，即通过群聚来共享体温。
Resolution: Mary和Tom加入企鹅群中，通过模仿企鹅的群聚行为来保持温暖。
End: 大人们回来修好了加热器，Mary和Tom从这次经历中学到了重要的生存技能，并加深了他们对自然界的理解和尊重
情节注意问题：
第一段：
①是否衔接得当： Tom想到取暖的办法。是什么办法，要交代清楚。 若没有写出酌情扣分。
②按照Tom的方法他们怎么做的？要有动作描写。效果怎么样？若没有写出酌情扣分。
③第一段末尾处的衔接：他们自救的同时满怀信心地等待父母归来。 若没有写出酌情扣分。
第二段：
①是否衔接得当：父母回来之后会做什么以及如何帮助解决问题的。若没有写出酌情扣分。
②父母看到两个孩子安然无恙会怎么想怎么做？
③ 从这起事件中他们学到了什么？
其他情节，只要合情合理，不扣分。
建议根据学生语言能力，先确定档次：22-25分：表达生动、准确、多样，书写美观，没有语法错误或极少的语法错误。17-21分：表述较准确，能够达成写作任务但不够地道自然，有几处语法错误。12-16分：基本达成写作任务，用词达意度尚可，有较多明显的语法错误。7-11分：达成写作任务程度低，语言问题多，词不达意，影响理解。0-6分：不能达成写作任务，抄袭前文，语言能力极弱。
得分：23-24内容丰富、合理，富有逻辑性，续写完整，与原文情境融洽度高。使用了恰当且多样的词汇和语法结构，有极个别小错，但完全不影响理解。有效地使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构清晰，意义连贯。
得分：18 -19分主题合理，故事完整，细节描写丰富，但有个别情节不够自然（例如第一段讲到 they must use all their strength to make their way，与原文Tom所说的“But the birds listen to me！”契合度不高）。语言表达方面，能尝试运用丰富的句子结构，有一定的语言积累，但部分表达有语法错误，如 They encourage the other with trembling voice, and waited for ...以及None can survive in that condition ...。
3档 (11-15)
得分：13-14本文创造了基本合理的内容，有一定的逻辑性，续写基本完整，与原文情境相关，但第二段结尾稍差。本文使用了简单的词汇和语法结构，有一些错误或不恰当之处，但基本不影响理解。基本有效地使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构基本清晰，意义基本连贯。
2档（6-10）
评分：7-8 情节走向基本合理，但部分情节与原文情境有一定程度脱节，续写不够完整。语言上，所使用的词汇有限，语法结构单调，单词拼写错误较多，影响理解。书写欠工整，涂改多。
sample writing
03
“I have an idea to stay warm” Tom shouted excitedly. Spreading his arms, he suggested joining the penguin huddles. Worried that the penguins wouldn’t let them, Mary hesitated but was soon persuaded by Tom’s assuring grin. He slowly approached the crowded penguins, crouching down. Gently stroking them with care, he whispered softly. Though startled at first, the penguins recognized Tom and let him into their group. Mary quickly followed. The children squeezed into the huddle,sedge with the penguins. Just as the birds did, they moved toward the middle and back out as the group shifted.
Version 1
“我有个办法可以保暖！”汤姆兴奋地喊道。他张开双臂，建议加入企鹅群。玛丽担心企鹅们不会同意，她犹豫了一下，但很快就被汤姆的笑容说服了。他慢慢地走近拥挤的企鹅群，蹲下身子。轻轻地、小心翼翼地抚摸着它们，他轻声地说。企鹅们虽然一开始很吃惊，但还是认出了汤姆，并让他加入了他们的队伍。玛丽很快地跟了上去。孩子们挤在企鹅群的边缘。就像鸟儿一样，随着群体的变化，它们也向中间移动，然后又向外面移动。
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. Rushing in calling for the kids, they were surprised. The children were safely surrounded by penguins in a large bundle. When asked how they stayed warm, the kids looked at each other proudly. “We copied what the emperor penguins do” they told their parents. Mary patted Tom,s shoulder with admiration, calling him a penguin whisperer. With a big smile, Tom gave credit to the penguins who taught them a lot. Their teamwork had seen them through the difficult cold with the penguins, aid.
两个半小时后，父母带着帮助回来了。冲进来喊孩子们，他们都很惊讶。孩子们被企鹅们包在一个大包袱里，安全地包围着。当被问及如何保暖时，孩子们自豪地交换了眼神。“我们利用了企鹅的做法，”他们告诉了父母。玛丽赞赏地拍着汤姆的肩膀，称他为“企鹅语者”。带着灿烂的笑容，汤姆把功劳归于企鹅，因为企鹅教会了他们很多东西。他们的团队合作帮助他们在企鹅的帮助下度过了严寒。
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly. Tom suggested joining the penguins with their huddles to get warm. Mary hesitated with concern that the birds wouldn’t accept them. Tom grinned with confidence while approaching the birds which had already crowded together due to the temperature. Slowly and gently, he crouched down to get close to the penguins, reached out his hands and stroke them with great affection, whispering to them soothingly. Though alarmed at first, the penguins recognized him and allowed him into their huddle with intimacy. Mary quickly followed his lead. The two kids squeezed their way from the edge of the crowd to the center and returned to the edge with the flow, just as the birds did.
第10周默写资料 学企鹅取暖读后续写
“我有个办法可以保暖！”汤姆兴奋地喊道。汤姆建议和企鹅们一起挤在一起取暖。玛丽担心那些鸟不会接受它们，所以犹豫不决。汤姆自信地露齿而笑，走近那些由于气温的原因已经挤在一起的鸟儿。慢慢地，轻轻地，他蹲下身去接近企鹅，伸出双手，深情地抚摸它们，轻声安慰它们。虽然企鹅们一开始很警觉，但还是认出了他，并让他亲密地挤在一起。玛丽很快地跟随他的脚步。两个孩子从人群的边缘挤到中央，又像鸟儿一样随着人流回到边缘。
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. When the parents rushed in screaming out the kids’names, they were amazed to see the kids were tightly surrounded by a huge group of penguins, safe and sound. When asked how they managed to brave this terrible cold, the two kids exchanged a glance and proudly told them it was the secret of the emperor penguins that helped them keep warm. Patting Tomon the shoulder, Mary said with sincere admiration, “ You are a true penguin whisperer.” With a beam lighting up his face, Tom praised the penguins for what they taught him.
两个半小时后，父母带着帮助回来了。当父母们喊着孩子们的名字冲进来时，他们惊讶地发现孩子们被一大群皇帝紧紧地包围着，安然无恙。当被问到他们是如何克服这种可怕的寒冷时，两个孩子交换了一个眼神，并自豪地告诉他们这是帝企鹅帮助他们保暖的秘密。玛丽拍了拍汤姆的肩膀，由衷地赞叹道：“你真是一个不折不扣的企鹅语者！”汤姆的脸上闪耀着光芒，他称赞企鹅们教会了他很多东西。
Paragraph 1: “I have an idea to stay warm!" Tom shouted excitedly.
He whistled to his beloved birds and gingerly waved a fish in his hand. No sooner he stopped waving than a tribe of penguins paddled around two of them. Tom fed the first arrival with the fish. The signal was sent to the rest of the penguins. They all huddled towards the children. In a minute, they were so tightly surrounded by an army of furry animals that their frozen feet started to get warm. When their numb fingers began to get flexible, they joyfully feed the lovely penguins with the fish in the bucket. Mary relaxed a little bit and thanked Tom for his excellent idea to tackle the emergency, while patiently waiting for parents to return.
Paragraph 2: Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. They were first amazed by what they saw, but they got it instantly.With water becoming ice blocks, their children's survival entirely depended on the warmth of the emperor penguins close by. The parents immediately fixed the habitat heater. When it returned to normal, the parents hugged the children tightly and appreciated their quick wit to solve the problem. Mary patted on Tom's shoulders and thumbed up at him, saying it was his idea that worked. Tom affectionately looked at the penguins as they scattered to walk, dive and swim, thinking actually they were the real heroes.
【写作详解】
【高分句型与描写1】
Spreading his arms, he suggested joining the penguin huddles. He slowly approached the crowded penguins, crouching down. Gently stroking them with care, he whispered softly. (非谓语动词做状语)
【高分句型与描写 2】
Slowly and gently, he crouched down to get close to the penguins, reached out his hands and stroke them with great affection, whispering to them soothingly. (动作链描写)
Patting Tom on his shoulder, Mary said with sincere admiration, “You are a true penguin whisperer!” (回应原文)
With a big smile, Tom gave credit to the penguins who taught them a lot. Their teamwork had seen them through the difficult cold with the penguins’ aid. (精彩点题)
As a nature photographer, I have to brave the elements. B1U5P2 An Encounter with Nature
Eyes sparkling with astonishment, the parents exclaimed, “It’s amazing how you braved the cold!”
One of the best things about this job is that you can observe animals in their natural environment. B1U5P2 An Encounter with Nature
One of the best things about working with animals is that you can never get enough of nature’s wisdom.
Imitate sentence patterns
Imitate sentence patterns
From time to time I look at the photo as a reminder to show respect to all animals. It is after all we who are the visitors to their world. B1U5P2 An Encounter with Nature
From time to time, the kids would recall the experience as a reminder to show respect to all animals. While aware that humans are only visitors to their world, they also realized that humans remain life-long learners of nature.
Imitate sentence patterns
Spotting the car with its window left open, the greedy thief didn't hesitate. Within seconds, he had reached inside and run away with a bag of shopping. B5U6P1 The Wild Within
Spotting a space between two penguins on the outside, Tom didn’t hesitate and suqueezed in. With a few nudges, he reached inside and immediately felt a wave of much-needed warmth enveloping him.
Relate to the topic: actions
Its rapture could be easily told when its coal black eyes rested on me; it jerked from side to side, with wings fanning crazily, and squeaked joyously. Then, it dipped down, landed on my shoulder and began to comb its feather with curved beak. Jan 2023 浙江 Hummingbird
Looking at the penguis flapping their flippers, waddling, diving, swirling, and combing their feathers, the kids developed a newfound sense of appreciation for their playful and wise wild neighbors.
Thank You!