2024届高三英语二轮复习突破读后续写微技能 对话描写 课件 (共41张PPT，内嵌安排)

(共41张PPT)
读后续写●微技能
对话描写
写作文
写作文
写作文
写作文使我快乐
对话描写存在的问题 ？？？
标点使用 不够规范
xxx said
对话标签 用词单一
复杂冗长 堆砌成段
字数多≠情节丰富
塑料表达 不经推敲
生僻词≠语言高级
引号使用
不够规范
对话标签
用词单一
复杂冗长
堆砌成段
塑料表达
不经推敲
Learning Objectives
一、标点符号的规范性
1. “come on！ You can do it. I whispered to him in a soft voice.
2. “I will never do that again,” He answered firmly.
3. I ran to him and said: “get up and run!”
4. “Thank you so much,” He said with a choking voice, “But I don't know how to pay for your kindness.”
Come
”
he
,
Get
标点改错
he
but
一、标点符号的规范性
“Xxxxxx,” sb said.
Sb said, “Xxxxxx.”
“Xxxxxx,” sb said, “xxxxxx.”
双引号 逗号 句号
大小写
① 说话人在前
② 说话人在后
③ 说话人在中间
规规矩矩
引号使用
不够规范
对话标签
用词单一
复杂冗长
堆砌成段
塑料表达
不经推敲
规范表达
Learning Objectives
二、对话用词的丰富性
用词---不能只是said
换个词呗
加点料呗
用词 --- 不能只是said---换个词
换个词呗
自言自语说
高声说 低声说
哭着说 笑着说
提问说 回答说
say(said)/talked/murmured to oneself
yelled shouted screamed roared
whispered murmured
cry(cried) sobbed 呜咽着说
smiled laughed chuckled轻笑着说
asked inquired正式用词
answered replied/responded
用词---不能只是said---换个词
换个词呗
表扬说 抱怨说
其他说
自言自语说 高声说 低声说 哭着说 笑着说 提问说
回答说
praised 称赞
complained 抱怨 sighed叹息
added 补充 promised许诺 comforted安慰
warned 警告 begged恳求 swear(swore)发誓 scolded 责备 stammered结巴 acknowledged承认
emphasized/stressed强调
用词---不能只是said---加点料
加点料呗
+神态
+ 情绪
+ 语气
+ 声音
用词---不能只是said---加点料
大声地 难过地
激动地 后悔地
自信地 生气地
骄傲地 绝望地
真诚地 坚定地
温柔地 严肃地
loudly
excitedly
confidently
proudly
sincerely
gently
firmly
seriously
sadly
regretfully
angrily
desperately
用词---不能只是said---加点料
◇ in a adj tone （语气 语调）
◇ in a adj voice （声音）
◇ in/with + 情绪名词
sounding adj
sounding
half adj and half adj
adj→surprising, curious, impatient, commanding
adj→high, low, sweet, week, trembling
in surprise/ shock/ sorrow/ horror
with embarrassment/excitement/anger/fury
用词---不能只是said---加点料
独立主格：身体部位+doing
“I won't believe you any more”, he said, tears streaming down her cheeks uncontrollably.
, a bright smile crossing her face.
, eyes staring at the table.
, palms sweating and trembling.
, feet stamping on the floor.
用词---不能只是said---加点料
独立主格：身体部位+doing
◇ , tears streaming down her cheeks.
◇ , eyes staring at the table.
◇ , a bright smile crossing her face.
◇ , palms sweating and trembling.
◇ , feet stamping on the floor.
, excitement shining in his eyes.
, disappointment crossing his face.
独立主格：情绪名词+doing
用词---不能只是said---加点料
“I didn’t get an ideal score in the math exam, ”
said Lily, disappointed
情绪形容词1+情绪形容词2, sb do sth, doing sth
Nervous and scared, he managed to step onto the stage, starting to deliver his speech.
情绪
形容词
情绪形容词和前面的内容用逗号隔开
用词---不能只是said---加点料
独立主格：身体部位+doing
独立主格：情绪名词+doing
◇ in a adj tone
◇ in a adj voice
◇ in/with + 情绪名词
情绪形容词
ly
sounding adj
情绪形容词 情绪名词
快乐的，高兴的 高兴
感激的 感激
恼怒地，生气的 恼怒，生气
难过的，悲哀的 难过，悲哀
害怕的，恐惧的 害怕，恐惧
恐慌的，慌乱的 恐慌，慌乱
后悔的 后悔
有罪的 有罪
惊讶的 惊讶
紧张的 紧张
沮丧的，挫败的 沮丧，挫败
勇敢的 勇敢
joyful/delighted
grateful/appreciative
annoyed/furious
sorrowful
fearful/frightened
panicked
regretful
guilty
astonished
nervous/anxious
frustrated
courageous/brave
joy/delight
gratitude/appreciation
annoyance/fury
sorrow
fear/fright
panic
regret
guilt
astonishment
nervousness/anxiety
frustration
courage/bravery
对话标签
用词单一
复杂冗长
堆砌成段
塑料表达
不经推敲
规范表达
丰富表达
Learning Objectives
三、语段内容的丰富性
① 对话要为推动故事情节服务，每段出现一两句即可
搭配动作
③ 要有画面感，尽量结合动作描写
② 侧重口语化词汇，避开生僻词汇，而且不宜过长
“Hey，how are you ” “I’m fine, how are you ”
“How is the weather ” “Terrific! Nice day for a walk, isn't it ”
点睛：这样的对话在现实生活中很真实，但是写作毕竟是艺术加工，
无助情节推动的&不能刻画人物性格的日常寒暄，偏离文章主线的对话不要用。
单纯说
有动作
三、语段内容的丰富性---对话描写搭配动作描写
利用时间轴构造动作链
◇ 谓语动作A，谓语动作B and 谓语动作C
◇ having done, 谓语动作
在同一时间点，多角度构造动作面
（肢体动作，面部表情，语言/心理）
◇ doing, 谓语动作, doing
◇ 谓语动作, doing and doing
◇ done, 谓语动作, doing
◇ with+逻辑主语+非谓语, 谓语动作
纵享丝滑的动作描写
搭配动作
对话描写搭配动作链
“I was attacked by a wolf and I thought I would never see you again.” Mac hugged them and burst out crying.
利用时间轴构造动作链
◇ 谓语动作A，谓语动作B and 谓语动作C
◇ having done, 谓语动作
“I don't believe you any more,” he turned around, slammed the door and stormed out.
对话描写搭配动作面 --- doing, 谓语动作, doing
肢体动作，面部表情，语言/心理
老人手上拿着烟，盯着夏洛看，说,“马冬什么？”
Having a cigarette clamped in his fingers, the old man stared at Xia Luo blankly, asking, “Madong what ”
对话描写搭配动作面 --- 谓语动作, doing and doing
夏洛欣喜若狂，边跳边说“我会对你负责的。”
Xia Luo was overwhelmed with joy, dancing and declaring，“I'll make it up to you.”
对话描写搭配动作面 --- done, 谓语动作, doing
被夏洛的话吓到，冬梅瞪大眼睛说“你管谁叫媳妇呢,臭不要脸。”然后笑呵呵地跑开了。
Surprised by Xialuo's words, Dongmei chuckled and said, “What did you call me shameless,” then scampering away.
你管谁叫媳妇呢，臭不要脸
对话描写搭配动作面 --- with+逻辑主语+非谓语, 谓语动作
老师一脸无语，走向夏洛，说: “就你那成绩还有下降空间吗？”
With his eyes brimmed with astonishment, the teacher couldn't help but walk to Xialuo and sighed, “Disturbs what Your score couldn't get any lower.”
就你那学习还用影响吗？
还有下降空间吗？
丰富性 （词&句）
◇ 用词---不能只是said
换个词呗
加点料呗
◇ 造句---不要单纯说
搭配动作
复杂冗长
堆砌成段
塑料表达
不经推敲
规范表达
丰富表达
丰富表达
Learning Objectives
四、避开塑料表达
塑料表达1 过多使用对话描写，语言逻辑性差
塑料表达2 重复
例1：“How can you do this " she said angrily, looking at me furiously.
点睛：过度使用副词让阅卷老师觉得你词汇贫乏。
语意重复，对情节发展和刻画人物性格没有帮助。
例2：“I told you already,” I said, glaring.
点睛：引号中主语 “I”已经说明了说话者，没有必要用 “I said”来说明说话对象。
可以加上一点动作描写就可以避免这种错误，并且提升语言的生动性。
I glared at him, “I told you already.”
四、避开塑料表达
塑料表达3 无效对话，与主题无关
例：“Hey，how are you ”“I’m fine, how are you ”“How is the weather ”“Terrific! Nice day for a walk isn't it ”
点睛：这样的对话在现实生活中很真实，但是这里是无效对话，与主题无关，注意，无助情节推动的，不能刻画人物性格的日常寒暄和偏离文章主线的对话绝对不用。
四、避开塑料表达
塑料表达4 对话用词不能体现人物特征
正确示例：“You have had a sound sleep!” the old lady shouted. “It’s time to open your eyes! We’re in a risky situation and we will have a big deal to make!”
评价：对话描写体现了老妇人急迫的个性和对生活的不顺心而大发脾气的
妇女形象。同时,结合三个感叹句,更好地体现了老妇人的急躁的心理。
点睛：在对人物进行对话描写时,真情实感是贴切人物的最好表达,尽量避免过于“高大上”或“假大空”,脱离人物的真实身份。
塑料表达
不经推敲
规范表达
丰富表达
丰富表达
精炼表达
Learning Objectives
Have you reached the goals
① 规范标点符号
② 丰富对话用词（词）
④ 避开塑料表达
③ 丰富语段内容（句）
1. 说 _________________________2. 小声说 _____________________
3. 解释 _______________________4. 请求 ________________________5. 大喊 ________________________6. 建议 ________________________
7. 尖叫 ________________________8. 补充说 ______________________9. 宣布 ________________________
按要求写单词
10. 同意 __________________11. 承认 ___________________12. 重复说 _________________13. 继续说 _________________14. 叹息说 _________________15. 责备 ___________________16. 认为 ___________________17. 嘟囔 ____________________18. 结巴地说 ________________
say, utter
whisper, murmur
explain
ask, beg, request, demand
yell, shout, cry
advise, suggest, propose
scream
add
announce, declare
admit, acknowledge
agree
repeat
continue
sigh
scold, blame
think, believe, argue
mumble
stammer
巩固提升
1. I ________________________ 我问他:“为什么不跑呢 ”
2. _________________________________ and hugged him tightly with teary eyes.“多么勇敢的孩子啊!”我叹了口气，热泪盈眶地紧紧抱住他。
3. “I would love to,” _______________________________. “我很乐意这样做，”艾米丽用一种愉快的语气说。
4. I ran to him and________________________________ 我跑向他，喊道:“起来，快跑!”
完成句子
asked him, “Why not run ”
“ What a brave boy!” I signed
said Emily in a pleasant tone
shouted, “Get up and run!”
巩固提升
注意 标点&动词
5.They hugged her and___________________________________________ 他们抱着她说道:“亲爱的妈妈，母亲节快乐!”
6.In a ___________________ he _____________________, “Okay, I guess.”他用颤抖的、局促不安的声音不情愿地回答说:“好吧，我想。”
7.He ________________, “No, this is not really my interest.”他平静地回答:“不，这不是我真正感兴趣的。”
8.“Do you-I mean, do you need any help ”__________________. “你——我是说，你需要帮助吗 ””她结结巴巴地说。
完成句子
yelled "Happy Mother’s Day, darling Mummy!"
shaky, awkward voice
unwillingly answered
quietly replied
she stammered
巩固提升
注意 标点&动词
1. Years afterwards Hiram learned that what he had thought was a diamond was only a bit of glass.____________________________________________ (“你那时知道吗，妈妈 ”他问。) His mother nodded. “And you never told me.” ____________________ ___________________________________(“在我看来，它比任何真正的钻石都要亮，”她说。) “The brightness I saw flashing in it was the unselfish love of my boy.” Indeed, nothing in the world is more precious than a sincere heart.
“Did you know it then, Mother ” he asked.
“It was brighter to me
than any real diamond,” she said.
用对话描写完成下面的语段
巩固提升
2. Hearing the teacher’s words, Mai Lin smiled. She knew what was coming. They’d done lots of physical fitness training at her old school and she was quite good at rope climbing. “Who’s first ” __________________(老师问). “Alison ” To Mai Lin’s surprise, Alison turned as pale as the moon and shook her head. “She’s scared,” ________________(马林想). “Perfect Alison was scared.” Suddenly Mai Lin _____________________________ (听到她自己的声音在说), “I’ll do it.” Alison looked up at Mai Lin in great surprise, and all the other classmates seemed surprised, too. The teacher nodded and told Mai Lin to climb.
用对话描写完成下面的语段
the teacher asked
Mai Lin thought
heard her own voice saying
巩固提升
1. “What is the matter now What's wrong with you Is it OK with you What has happened to you ” asked the wife. “Maybe I have made some mistakes. I just can't remember why I come back, and I just think where I am supposed to be going on such a hot summer day,” replied the professor.
迁移应用，判断改进
巩固提升
Try to make some improvements.
“What’s wrong with you ” asked the wife.“I just can’t remember why I come back and where I am supposed to be going on such a hot summer day,”replied the professor.
多次重复同一意思“你怎么了”
“I just”
重复
2. After they sat down, I began with my usual ice breaker with a smile. “I’ll tell you one thing about me, then you tell me one thing about you.” Tony showed no interest but looked at his shoes. I said, “When I put up the poster on the wall, I nearly fell down, which was so embarrassing. ” Tony looked up at me. I asked Tony，"Would you tell us one thing about yourself ” He shook his head. I said, “You had great taste in shirts and that was my favourite shade of blue.” But still he said nothing. I then said to the class, “Let’s do a worksheet new.” Tony finally joined us this time. The students handed in their worksheets, and I was shocked to see that Tony really did a wonderful job! I couldn’t help praising him excitedly and other students applauded him together.
迁移应用，判断改进
巩固提升
对话过多,一段出现5次，而且语言不能完全体现情绪
I told him that when I put up the poster on the wall,I nearly fell down, which was so embarrassing.
I then asked the class to do a worksheet.
+ with a gentle voice
I asked Tony if he would tell us one thing about himself.
对话描写
你掌握了吗？
读后续写●微技能
写作文
写作文
写作文
写作文使我快乐
① 规范标点符号
② 丰富对话用词（词）
④ 避开塑料表达
③ 丰富语段内容（句）