2024届高考英语Sarah动作链和动作面 课件(共38张PPT)
文档属性
| 名称 | 2024届高考英语Sarah动作链和动作面 课件(共38张PPT) |  | |
| 格式 | pptx | ||
| 文件大小 | 13.6MB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
| 版本资源 | 人教版（2019） | ||
| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2024-04-24 11:26:29 | ||
图片预览
文档简介
(共38张PPT)
如何构造动作链和动作面
Can you use verb phrase(动词短语) to describe the embarrassing scene where a girl put her head into a pumpkin but it was difficult to pull her head out
With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole upper most, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry(入口). Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.
My excitement was short lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I am going to set it down, now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straight forward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed
（封闭的） space.
Example1 : The girl hugged the boy.
The girl dashed forward, jumped up and hugged the boy tightly.
动画的每一帧进行捕捉，最后将多个动作连贯起来。由多个静态图片转换成活灵活现的动态图。
动作链
一个简单的动作拆分成一系列的动作
Poppy welcomed master home as usual, but when she saw the box, she stopped.
She put her nose on it.
Her tail began wagging(摆动) ever so slowly, then faster as she caught the smell.
Example 2:
A dog was cautious to a box where a dog was adopted by her master.
Poppy像往常一样欢迎主人回家，但当她看到那个盒子时，她停了下来。她把鼻子凑上去嗅了嗅。她的尾巴开始慢慢地摆动，随着她嗅到气味，摆动的速度也越来越快。
Example 3 跳水救人 Henry jumped into the river and saved Robert.
________ the screams, Henry________________the riverside, __________ his clothes and ___________ the water without hesitation. He ______ Robert just as he was sinking the last time. By great effort, and with much danger to himself, he ___________ Robert to the shore(岸边).
Hearing
ran/ dashed/ rushed to
threw/ took off
jumped into
reached
brought/ dragged
制作爆米花 Clara made popcorn.
动作过程化：
V. 1: volunteered to get the box of corn
V. 2: began to make popcorn
Immediately, Clara volunteered to get the box of corn and began to make popcorn.
Observe 1
如何将多个动作组合在一个句子当中？
Clara用旧报纸包裹制作好了的爆米花
动作过程化：
去购买旧报纸 went to purchase→包裹爆米花 wrapped
Clara went to purchase some newspapers and wrapped popcorn around them.
公式一：
表示：两个或者多个动作同时发生或者相继发生。
主语+谓语A and 谓语B。
主语+谓语A，谓语B and 谓语C。
Clara 提着篮子，他挨家挨户地卖爆米花。
V. carried the basket
V. went door to door to sell popcorn
Carrying the basket, Clara went door to door to sell the popcorn at their doors.
公式二：
Observe 2
doing..., 主谓...;
变式： ①doing..., 主谓, doing...; ②主谓A+谓语B, doing...;
③主语+谓语..., doing..., doing...
表示doing的动作和句子主语是主动关系，且和谓语动作同时进行/相继发生。
Jane walked along the stream, hoping to find her husband soon.
Jane 沿着溪边走. 她希望能尽快找到她的丈夫。
Apply---- doing做 状语
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
walked along the stream; hoped to find
V. 1
V. 2
Inspired by him, I determined to concentrate on my study to realize my dream.
受他的启发，我下定决心专心学习以实现我的梦想。
Observe 3
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
was inspired; determined to concentrate on
V. 1
V. 2
总结公式三：done，主语+谓语+其他.
done与句子的主语是被动关系，表示在谓语之前发生，完成的含义。
Once, having been invited to dinner at a university, he was put on the spot when the president suddenly asked him to give a speech.
曾经，林语堂被邀请去一所大学参加晚宴。当校长突然要求他发表演讲时，他一时不知所措。
Observe 4
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译句子
had been visited ; asked him to give a speech; was put on the spot.
V. 1
V. 2
V. 3
公式四：
having been done，主语+谓语...
having been done 表示发生在谓语之前，且与句子主语是被动关系。
Tears welling up in their eyes, the couple hugged tightly, promising never to quarrel.
眼泪在他们眼睛里涌出来。 这对夫妻紧紧地拥抱在一起。承诺不再吵架了。
Observe 5
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
welled up in their eyes; hugged
V. 1
V. 2
V. 3
公式五：
独立主格结构，主语+谓语...， 非谓语...
主语+谓语...， 独立主格结构。
The response from a publisher comes back and the writer eagerly opens and reads it, their hearts sinking when they reach that final sentence.
出版社的回复来了，作者迫不及待地打开并阅读，但当他们读到最后一句话时，心沉了下来。
Apply 独立主格结构可用于描写身体部分，补充描述情感
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
comes back; opens and reads; sinks; reach
V. 1
V. 2
V. 3
V. 4
Harry Potter became a global success, with over 400 million books sold and translated into more than seventy different languages.
《哈利·波特》成为全球畅销书。这本书被售出超过4亿册并被翻译成70多种语言。
Observe 6
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
became; was sold; was translated into
V. 1
V. 2
V. 2
总结公式六： 主语+谓语..., with+O+Oc.
with+O+Oc, 主语+谓语...,
生活由起起伏伏组成，想要保持积极和热情的态度是不容易的。(it作为形式主语)
Apply with +O+Oc
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
is made up of; is
V. 1
With life made up of ups and downs, it is not easy to maintain a good and enthusiastic attitude.
V. 2
行业PPT模板http:///hangye/
Observe 7
随着快乐的记忆涌现，Jane 艰难地站起来，忘掉所有的痛苦。
With happy memories crowding in, she struggled to her feet, forgetting all about her pain.
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
总结公式七：
crowded in; struggled to one’s feet; forgot
V. 1
V. 3
V. 2
With +宾语+宾补，主语+谓语+其他, doing... 做状语。
行业PPT模板http:///hangye/
动作面1（肢体动作，情感，语言，心理，环境，外貌等）
Jane背靠着一块石头 坐下来。她感觉绝望和筋疲力尽。
①Jane sat down against a rock.
② She felt desperate and exhausted.
Deperate and exhausted, Jane sat down against a rock.
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
总结公式八：形容主语的形容词，主语+谓语+其他。
使用了形容词做伴随状语
V. 1
V. 2
我们需要在同一时间，安排多个相机在不同角度拍摄，然后把不同的镜头剪在一起，构成一个饱满的动作面。
---邵田田《中国科技经济新闻数据库》
Embarrased and ashamed, Ben can’t concentrate on anything.
原句来自外研社必修三U1 Absolute agony
Our agony Aunt answers your questions
Ben 感觉到尴尬和羞愧。他不能集中注意力在任何事情上。
Apply 形容词做原因状语
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
felt; can’t concentrate on/ focus on
①Ben felt embarrased and shamed.
②He can’t concentrate on anything.
V. 1
V. 2
动作面2
Seeing (On seeing) the popcorn arranged in a basket, they were overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude.
Hearing....., 主谓....
Thinking/considering....., 主谓....
Encouraged by the teacher’s words,Lucy raised her hand, whispering, “I volunteer”
句型.done +谓语动词+ doing
被老师的话所鼓舞，Lucy举起了小手，小声说，“我来”
语言
心里
肢体
Summary
多个谓语：①使用并列连词 and/but； not only...but (also)...; neither...nor; either... or等
② 使用从属连词，转变为状语从句，例如添加when...; as; if等
一个谓语：使用非谓语
①非谓语，主谓..., 非谓语....;
②with+O+Oc,主谓...
③ 主谓+ 独立主格结构（O+Oc） ④ 主谓..., adj.
动作链： 一个简单的动作细化为多个连串的动作
动作面： 多角度描写人物（words 话语+ facial expression 五官； body language 肢体+ appearance 外貌+ psychology 心理+ setting 环境）
Group work
Mildred 和我继续向学校走去，两个人都直直地盯着前方，一言不发。
两只小狗很快就开始互相追逐，快乐又兴奋。
Mildred 德困惑地看着我妈妈。
她盯着那条蛇，站在那里一动不动，害怕极了。
我父亲拍了拍我的肩膀，鼓励我永远不要放弃我的梦想。
他弯下腰去拥抱他的老朋友，与他告别。
然后，他站起身，拥抱了他的父母，并微笑着，尽量不让自己的情绪失控。
Mildred and I walked on to school, both staring straight ahead without speaking.
Exercise1:
Mildred and I
walked on to school
both stared straight ahead without speaking.
Exercise2：
The two dogs
The two dogs soon chased each other, joyful and excited.
soon chased each other,
felt joyful and excited.
Exercise3:
Mildred looked at my mother, confused.
Mildred
looked at my mother
felt confused
Exercise 4:
Looking at the snake, she frozen there, frighthed.
looked at the snake
she frozen there
felt frightened
Exercise 5:
My father patted me on the shoulder, encouraging me never to give up my dreams.
我的父亲拍拍我肩膀， 鼓励我永远不要放弃我的梦想。
He bent down to hug his old friend goodbye. Then, he stood up, hugged his parents, and smiled, trying not to let his emotion lose control.
Exercise 6: A boy said goodbye to his lovely dog and his parents.
他弯下腰去拥抱他的老朋友，与他告别。
然后，他站起身，拥抱了他的父母，并微笑着，尽量不让自己的情绪失控。
Pumpkin (南瓜)carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin. My dad has a rule that we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage—I carried an 85 pounder back last year.
This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14 year old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides, but I was determined to prove my point. All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event.(埋下续写部分拍视频的伏笔) I am unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.
Continuation writing
With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole upper most, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry(入口). Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.
My excitement was short lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I am going to set it down, now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straight forward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed
（封闭的） space.
Para.1 I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.
Para.2 That video was posted the day before Halloween.
主题特点 生活趣事可涉及生活中的尴尬窘境的解决等,在续写过程中常描写人物的欢笑。
三步法
第一步:矛盾塑造+尴尬情绪;
第二步:矛盾解决(动作链和场景描写);
第三步:快乐结局(感激和开心)。
第一步 把握原文大意 明主旨和两线
原文大意 作者将头塞进南瓜却被卡在里面的趣事。
原文两情线 情节线:挑完南瓜却忘记称重→考虑把头塞进南瓜证明南瓜大→成功地将头塞进南瓜却被卡住→试图将头从南瓜中拿出;
情感线:determined, competitive→unsure→excited→frightened。
叙事意图
通过叙述一个有趣的经历,说明一个生活教训:三思而后行。
第三步 原续高度融洽 合理添加细节◎高度融洽 续写部分情节线可以是:头被南瓜卡住出不来哭泣→父亲帮作者把头从南瓜中弄出来→上传视频→视频走红→回忆往事, 续写部分情感线可以是:焦虑害怕→如释重负→尴尬难为情→开心。◎添加细节 ①动作细节:在描写作者的父亲帮助作者时,可描述作者父亲小心翼翼的施救过程中,作者闭目保持不动的细节;②情感细节:应刻画作者的头被卡在南瓜中时的焦虑恐惧、脱困时的如释重负,视频播出后走红时的兴奋和意外;③心理描写:作者的头被卡在南瓜中时应该很恐惧,但脱困后尤其视频走红后,心理活动会有变化,也许会觉得尴尬或激动,可通过直接或间接的方式,体现人物内心世界。
第二步 据两首句信息 确定续写方向
两段首句定一框
二框二首正能量
①第一段首句和第二段关键信息“That video was posted”可逆推出,作者的头从南瓜里弄出来了。第一段应叙述作者如何脱困,可描写作者害怕得哭了,引来父亲或兄弟姐妹帮助脱困;②尾句衔接第二段段首句中“That video was posted”和原文信息“my mom filming the annual event”可描述妈妈录视频。
① 首句衔接第二段段首句“That video was posted”,可叙述录制的视频被发到网上后网民的反应、作者的感悟。②尾句应体现正能量:吸取教训——三思而后行。
同伴评价表
单词数量是否接近150词？
作者是否时态使用正确？
作文书写是否美观？
作文情节是否合理？
作文是否有前文有呼应？
作者是否描述了女孩是如何将头部从南瓜中取出？
作者是否传达了这个故事的深层含义？
作者是否使用了一系列动词链？
作者是否使用了动作面？
作者是否有形象生动地描述文中的主人公的情绪的变化？
I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer. 首句街接 Growing more panicked, I began to cry. Fortunately, hearing me crying, dad came and helped me lay my head on the table, so my neck could rest for a while. Then he said Tome “Listen, honey. I have to cut this pumpkin in half ”. I had no choice but to keep still with my eyes tightly closed and listen to the knife moving on the pumpkin. Moments later, my head was finally released from this horrible pumpkin cage. Then Mom told me she had just filmed me managing to pull my head out of the pumpkin.
Video was posted the day before Halloween. 首句衔接 Surprisingly, that became a hit that the video started racking up(获胜；累计) hundreds of thousands of views. At the very beginning, hardly could I contain my embarrassment when I was recognized as the one in the video. However, with time going by, my life was back on track. Whenever I thought about the day on which I got my head stuck in a pumpkin, I couldn't help but laugh out loudly. I would say I learned my lesson ——look before you leap!
Possible version 参考范文：
THANK YOU
如何构造动作链和动作面
Can you use verb phrase(动词短语) to describe the embarrassing scene where a girl put her head into a pumpkin but it was difficult to pull her head out
With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole upper most, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry(入口). Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.
My excitement was short lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I am going to set it down, now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straight forward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed
（封闭的） space.
Example1 : The girl hugged the boy.
The girl dashed forward, jumped up and hugged the boy tightly.
动画的每一帧进行捕捉，最后将多个动作连贯起来。由多个静态图片转换成活灵活现的动态图。
动作链
一个简单的动作拆分成一系列的动作
Poppy welcomed master home as usual, but when she saw the box, she stopped.
She put her nose on it.
Her tail began wagging(摆动) ever so slowly, then faster as she caught the smell.
Example 2:
A dog was cautious to a box where a dog was adopted by her master.
Poppy像往常一样欢迎主人回家，但当她看到那个盒子时，她停了下来。她把鼻子凑上去嗅了嗅。她的尾巴开始慢慢地摆动，随着她嗅到气味，摆动的速度也越来越快。
Example 3 跳水救人 Henry jumped into the river and saved Robert.
________ the screams, Henry________________the riverside, __________ his clothes and ___________ the water without hesitation. He ______ Robert just as he was sinking the last time. By great effort, and with much danger to himself, he ___________ Robert to the shore(岸边).
Hearing
ran/ dashed/ rushed to
threw/ took off
jumped into
reached
brought/ dragged
制作爆米花 Clara made popcorn.
动作过程化：
V. 1: volunteered to get the box of corn
V. 2: began to make popcorn
Immediately, Clara volunteered to get the box of corn and began to make popcorn.
Observe 1
如何将多个动作组合在一个句子当中？
Clara用旧报纸包裹制作好了的爆米花
动作过程化：
去购买旧报纸 went to purchase→包裹爆米花 wrapped
Clara went to purchase some newspapers and wrapped popcorn around them.
公式一：
表示：两个或者多个动作同时发生或者相继发生。
主语+谓语A and 谓语B。
主语+谓语A，谓语B and 谓语C。
Clara 提着篮子，他挨家挨户地卖爆米花。
V. carried the basket
V. went door to door to sell popcorn
Carrying the basket, Clara went door to door to sell the popcorn at their doors.
公式二：
Observe 2
doing..., 主谓...;
变式： ①doing..., 主谓, doing...; ②主谓A+谓语B, doing...;
③主语+谓语..., doing..., doing...
表示doing的动作和句子主语是主动关系，且和谓语动作同时进行/相继发生。
Jane walked along the stream, hoping to find her husband soon.
Jane 沿着溪边走. 她希望能尽快找到她的丈夫。
Apply---- doing做 状语
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
walked along the stream; hoped to find
V. 1
V. 2
Inspired by him, I determined to concentrate on my study to realize my dream.
受他的启发，我下定决心专心学习以实现我的梦想。
Observe 3
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
was inspired; determined to concentrate on
V. 1
V. 2
总结公式三：done，主语+谓语+其他.
done与句子的主语是被动关系，表示在谓语之前发生，完成的含义。
Once, having been invited to dinner at a university, he was put on the spot when the president suddenly asked him to give a speech.
曾经，林语堂被邀请去一所大学参加晚宴。当校长突然要求他发表演讲时，他一时不知所措。
Observe 4
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译句子
had been visited ; asked him to give a speech; was put on the spot.
V. 1
V. 2
V. 3
公式四：
having been done，主语+谓语...
having been done 表示发生在谓语之前，且与句子主语是被动关系。
Tears welling up in their eyes, the couple hugged tightly, promising never to quarrel.
眼泪在他们眼睛里涌出来。 这对夫妻紧紧地拥抱在一起。承诺不再吵架了。
Observe 5
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
welled up in their eyes; hugged
V. 1
V. 2
V. 3
公式五：
独立主格结构，主语+谓语...， 非谓语...
主语+谓语...， 独立主格结构。
The response from a publisher comes back and the writer eagerly opens and reads it, their hearts sinking when they reach that final sentence.
出版社的回复来了，作者迫不及待地打开并阅读，但当他们读到最后一句话时，心沉了下来。
Apply 独立主格结构可用于描写身体部分，补充描述情感
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为两个句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
comes back; opens and reads; sinks; reach
V. 1
V. 2
V. 3
V. 4
Harry Potter became a global success, with over 400 million books sold and translated into more than seventy different languages.
《哈利·波特》成为全球畅销书。这本书被售出超过4亿册并被翻译成70多种语言。
Observe 6
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
became; was sold; was translated into
V. 1
V. 2
V. 2
总结公式六： 主语+谓语..., with+O+Oc.
with+O+Oc, 主语+谓语...,
生活由起起伏伏组成，想要保持积极和热情的态度是不容易的。(it作为形式主语)
Apply with +O+Oc
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
is made up of; is
V. 1
With life made up of ups and downs, it is not easy to maintain a good and enthusiastic attitude.
V. 2
行业PPT模板http:///hangye/
Observe 7
随着快乐的记忆涌现，Jane 艰难地站起来，忘掉所有的痛苦。
With happy memories crowding in, she struggled to her feet, forgetting all about her pain.
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
总结公式七：
crowded in; struggled to one’s feet; forgot
V. 1
V. 3
V. 2
With +宾语+宾补，主语+谓语+其他, doing... 做状语。
行业PPT模板http:///hangye/
动作面1（肢体动作，情感，语言，心理，环境，外貌等）
Jane背靠着一块石头 坐下来。她感觉绝望和筋疲力尽。
①Jane sat down against a rock.
② She felt desperate and exhausted.
Deperate and exhausted, Jane sat down against a rock.
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
总结公式八：形容主语的形容词，主语+谓语+其他。
使用了形容词做伴随状语
V. 1
V. 2
我们需要在同一时间，安排多个相机在不同角度拍摄，然后把不同的镜头剪在一起，构成一个饱满的动作面。
---邵田田《中国科技经济新闻数据库》
Embarrased and ashamed, Ben can’t concentrate on anything.
原句来自外研社必修三U1 Absolute agony
Our agony Aunt answers your questions
Ben 感觉到尴尬和羞愧。他不能集中注意力在任何事情上。
Apply 形容词做原因状语
Step1: 找谓语部分
Step2: 翻译为句子
Step3: 合并句子并升级句式
felt; can’t concentrate on/ focus on
①Ben felt embarrased and shamed.
②He can’t concentrate on anything.
V. 1
V. 2
动作面2
Seeing (On seeing) the popcorn arranged in a basket, they were overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude.
Hearing....., 主谓....
Thinking/considering....., 主谓....
Encouraged by the teacher’s words,Lucy raised her hand, whispering, “I volunteer”
句型.done +谓语动词+ doing
被老师的话所鼓舞，Lucy举起了小手，小声说，“我来”
语言
心里
肢体
Summary
多个谓语：①使用并列连词 and/but； not only...but (also)...; neither...nor; either... or等
② 使用从属连词，转变为状语从句，例如添加when...; as; if等
一个谓语：使用非谓语
①非谓语，主谓..., 非谓语....;
②with+O+Oc,主谓...
③ 主谓+ 独立主格结构（O+Oc） ④ 主谓..., adj.
动作链： 一个简单的动作细化为多个连串的动作
动作面： 多角度描写人物（words 话语+ facial expression 五官； body language 肢体+ appearance 外貌+ psychology 心理+ setting 环境）
Group work
Mildred 和我继续向学校走去，两个人都直直地盯着前方，一言不发。
两只小狗很快就开始互相追逐，快乐又兴奋。
Mildred 德困惑地看着我妈妈。
她盯着那条蛇，站在那里一动不动，害怕极了。
我父亲拍了拍我的肩膀，鼓励我永远不要放弃我的梦想。
他弯下腰去拥抱他的老朋友，与他告别。
然后，他站起身，拥抱了他的父母，并微笑着，尽量不让自己的情绪失控。
Mildred and I walked on to school, both staring straight ahead without speaking.
Exercise1:
Mildred and I
walked on to school
both stared straight ahead without speaking.
Exercise2：
The two dogs
The two dogs soon chased each other, joyful and excited.
soon chased each other,
felt joyful and excited.
Exercise3:
Mildred looked at my mother, confused.
Mildred
looked at my mother
felt confused
Exercise 4:
Looking at the snake, she frozen there, frighthed.
looked at the snake
she frozen there
felt frightened
Exercise 5:
My father patted me on the shoulder, encouraging me never to give up my dreams.
我的父亲拍拍我肩膀， 鼓励我永远不要放弃我的梦想。
He bent down to hug his old friend goodbye. Then, he stood up, hugged his parents, and smiled, trying not to let his emotion lose control.
Exercise 6: A boy said goodbye to his lovely dog and his parents.
他弯下腰去拥抱他的老朋友，与他告别。
然后，他站起身，拥抱了他的父母，并微笑着，尽量不让自己的情绪失控。
Pumpkin (南瓜)carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin. My dad has a rule that we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage—I carried an 85 pounder back last year.
This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14 year old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides, but I was determined to prove my point. All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event.(埋下续写部分拍视频的伏笔) I am unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.
Continuation writing
With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole upper most, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry(入口). Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.
My excitement was short lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I am going to set it down, now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straight forward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed
（封闭的） space.
Para.1 I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.
Para.2 That video was posted the day before Halloween.
主题特点 生活趣事可涉及生活中的尴尬窘境的解决等,在续写过程中常描写人物的欢笑。
三步法
第一步:矛盾塑造+尴尬情绪;
第二步:矛盾解决(动作链和场景描写);
第三步:快乐结局(感激和开心)。
第一步 把握原文大意 明主旨和两线
原文大意 作者将头塞进南瓜却被卡在里面的趣事。
原文两情线 情节线:挑完南瓜却忘记称重→考虑把头塞进南瓜证明南瓜大→成功地将头塞进南瓜却被卡住→试图将头从南瓜中拿出;
情感线:determined, competitive→unsure→excited→frightened。
叙事意图
通过叙述一个有趣的经历,说明一个生活教训:三思而后行。
第三步 原续高度融洽 合理添加细节◎高度融洽 续写部分情节线可以是:头被南瓜卡住出不来哭泣→父亲帮作者把头从南瓜中弄出来→上传视频→视频走红→回忆往事, 续写部分情感线可以是:焦虑害怕→如释重负→尴尬难为情→开心。◎添加细节 ①动作细节:在描写作者的父亲帮助作者时,可描述作者父亲小心翼翼的施救过程中,作者闭目保持不动的细节;②情感细节:应刻画作者的头被卡在南瓜中时的焦虑恐惧、脱困时的如释重负,视频播出后走红时的兴奋和意外;③心理描写:作者的头被卡在南瓜中时应该很恐惧,但脱困后尤其视频走红后,心理活动会有变化,也许会觉得尴尬或激动,可通过直接或间接的方式,体现人物内心世界。
第二步 据两首句信息 确定续写方向
两段首句定一框
二框二首正能量
①第一段首句和第二段关键信息“That video was posted”可逆推出,作者的头从南瓜里弄出来了。第一段应叙述作者如何脱困,可描写作者害怕得哭了,引来父亲或兄弟姐妹帮助脱困;②尾句衔接第二段段首句中“That video was posted”和原文信息“my mom filming the annual event”可描述妈妈录视频。
① 首句衔接第二段段首句“That video was posted”,可叙述录制的视频被发到网上后网民的反应、作者的感悟。②尾句应体现正能量:吸取教训——三思而后行。
同伴评价表
单词数量是否接近150词？
作者是否时态使用正确？
作文书写是否美观？
作文情节是否合理？
作文是否有前文有呼应？
作者是否描述了女孩是如何将头部从南瓜中取出？
作者是否传达了这个故事的深层含义？
作者是否使用了一系列动词链？
作者是否使用了动作面？
作者是否有形象生动地描述文中的主人公的情绪的变化？
I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer. 首句街接 Growing more panicked, I began to cry. Fortunately, hearing me crying, dad came and helped me lay my head on the table, so my neck could rest for a while. Then he said Tome “Listen, honey. I have to cut this pumpkin in half ”. I had no choice but to keep still with my eyes tightly closed and listen to the knife moving on the pumpkin. Moments later, my head was finally released from this horrible pumpkin cage. Then Mom told me she had just filmed me managing to pull my head out of the pumpkin.
Video was posted the day before Halloween. 首句衔接 Surprisingly, that became a hit that the video started racking up(获胜；累计) hundreds of thousands of views. At the very beginning, hardly could I contain my embarrassment when I was recognized as the one in the video. However, with time going by, my life was back on track. Whenever I thought about the day on which I got my head stuck in a pumpkin, I couldn't help but laugh out loudly. I would say I learned my lesson ——look before you leap!
Possible version 参考范文：
THANK YOU