(共26张PPT)
第二讲 宏观指导
读后续写写作流程
[真题在线]
(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)
It was the day of the big cross-country run.Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David,who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.He was small for ten years old.His usual big toothy smile was absent today.I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children.He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened.“I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably.
“I gave him the choice to run or not,and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration (懊恼).I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing.After making sure that David could run if he wanted,I turned to find him coming towards me,his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children,
but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid.He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing.That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team.It just took him longer—that’s all.
David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.As a special education teacher at the school,I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
[写作指导]
一、精读原文,理出有效信息
characters David,I (a special education teacher), the coach when/ where the day of the big cross-country run/
the race spot
conflict/ problem David determined to give up the competition. theme challenges,
strong determination
main idea A boy with brain disease managed to finish a cross-country run with determination.
情节发展线 Students were warming up and walking the
Route.→David was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.→I asked David and the coach the reason.→I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.→We sat down next to
each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.→I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
情感变化线 David hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.→He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever his classmates were doing.
二、关注首句,合理构思情节
1.“以旧带新”定续写框架
两段首句定一框 ①第一段开头句衔接段首句“我们挨着坐着,但David不看我”,由此可描写David的肢体动作、表现难过的情绪和不参加比赛的原因→“我”设法劝说、鼓励David参加比赛。
②尾句: David决定参加比赛,呼应第二段首句“David和其他选手一起走到起跑线上”。
二框二首正能量 ①第二段开头句衔接段首句“我看着David和其他选手一起走到起跑线上”,由此可描写比赛开始→David比赛过程中遇到什么困难→观众的鼓励→David的反应→坚持到最后,完成比赛。
②尾句:完成比赛的感受+升华主题: 战胜自己的勇气和
决心。
2.兼顾两情相悦
(1)续写部分情节线:
作者鼓励David比赛→强烈的心理斗争→最终决定参加比赛→克服困难→加油助威→完成比赛。
(2)人物的情感变化线:sad→shameful→inspired→
determined→excited
三、捕捉伏笔,巧妙衔接对应
可续写点 伏笔语言 续写部分衔接设置
与首尾句的照应 原文第六段I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination 此处是“我”能够成功鼓励David参加越野赛跑的基础。所以续写第一段时可添加对话,“我”鼓励David时说“I am always proud of your strong determination.”。
与特定伏笔的照应 原文第一段the route(路线) through thick evergreen forest(环境伏笔) 第二段可添加场景描写,同学们在赛道旁边为David加油喝彩。
原文第二段His usual big toothy smile was absent today.(神态伏笔) 第二段可添加神态描写,表现David赛后的高兴。
原文第五段After making sure...his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.(动作伏笔) 第二段可利用肢体动作描写,展现David跑步的动作。
原文第六段He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing.(主题 伏笔) 这是David最令人敬佩的品质,第一段可添加对话描写,写出“我”鼓励他参赛的理由。
原文第六段David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.(主题伏笔) 由原文两个always的部分可以判断David在比赛中的结果,因此第二段可描写虽然David不可能跑赢别人,但仍坚持跑完全程。
四、润色表达,丰富细节描写
续写对David决定不参加比赛的心理、动作描写细腻,体现出David无助、矛盾的心理状态。在描写鼓励David参加比赛时,利用直接引语呈现人物对话,使人物形象更加逼真、丰满。
1.他低下头,扭动着双手。
He and wriggled his
hands.(双连动词+肢体动作)
lowered his head
①David was inspired,so he .
,“I will give it a try.”(双连动
词+对话)
2.David很受鼓励,他深吸了一口气,鼓起勇气,“我会试试的。”
gathered his courage
② , .
,“I will give it a try.”(形容词作状语+双连动词+对话)
续写第二段(侧重描写肢体动作并利用场景描写烘托比赛气氛)
took a deep breath and
Inspired
David took a deep breath and gathered
his courage
As the signal to run ignited, .
except David.(明喻)
3.赛跑的信号一响,除了David之外,赛跑者们像子弹一
样飞奔而去。
runners shot out
like bullets
.
fell upon David.(无灵主语)
4.其他学校的观众的目光落在了David身上。
The eyes of the audience from other schools
①He struggled to run forward,and his small body
.(肢体动作+并列句)
5.他努力往前跑,小小的身子随着奔跑的节奏摇晃着。
②He struggled to run forward, .
.(with复合结构)
rocked with the rhythm of his run
with his small body
rocking with the rhythm of his run
①Classmates all appeared at the side of the racing route,and ,“Come on! You can make it!”(双连动词+副词+对话)
6.同学们纷纷出现在赛道旁,热情地为他加油,“加油!你能做到!”
②Classmates all appeared at the side of the racing route, ,“Come on! You can make it!”(分词短语作状语+副词+对话)
cheered for him enthusiastically
cheering for him enthusiastically
①Finally,though he was the last one,David .
as he .
. (肢体动作+场景描写)
7.最后,尽管David是最后一个,但他在热烈的欢呼声和掌声中,胜
利地举起双臂冲过终点线。
②Finally, ,David .
.
.(省略句+肢体动作+场景描写)
raised his
crossed the finish line to
arms in triumph
wild cheers and applause
though the last one
raised his arms in triumph as he crossed the finish line to wild cheers and applause
People . and it was the dearest thing in sportsmanship.
8.人们被他的毅力深深打动,这是体育精神中最宝贵的
东西。
were deeply moved by his perseverance
One possible version:
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.He lowered his head and wriggled his hands.“Do you fear the audience will laugh at you ”I asked.He nodded with shame and guilt.It suddenly struck me that he was ashamed of his physical condition.I hugged him tightly,“I am always proud of your strong determination.I know you will always participate to the best of your ability in whatever you are doing.Just be yourself and you will not be looked down upon.” Shortly afterwards,inspired,David took a deep breath and gathered his courage,“I will give it a try.”
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.As the signal to run ignited,runners shot out like bullets except David.The eyes of the audience from other schools fell upon David.He struggled to run forward,with his small body rocking with the rhythm of his run.Classmates all appeared at the side of the racing route,cheering for him enthusiastically,“Come on!You can make it!” Finally,though the last one,David raised his arms in triumph as he crossed the finish line to wild cheers and applause.People were deeply moved by his perseverance and it was the dearest thing in sportsmanship.第二讲 宏观指导 读后续写写作流程
[真题在线]
(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)
It was the day of the big cross-country run.Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David,who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.He was small for ten years old.His usual big toothy smile was absent today.I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children.He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened.“I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably.“I gave him the choice to run or not,and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration (懊恼).I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing.After making sure that David could run if he wanted,I turned to find him coming towards me,his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children,but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid.He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing.That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team.It just took him longer—that’s all.David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.As a special education teacher at the school,I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
[写作指导]
一、精读原文,理出有效信息
characters David,I (a special education teacher),the coach when/where the day of the big cross-country run/the race spot
conflict/ problem David determined to give up the competition. theme challenges,strong determination
main idea A boy with brain disease managed to finish a cross-country run with determination.
情节发展线 Students were warming up and walking the route.→David was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.→I asked David and the coach the reason.→I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.→We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.→I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
情感变化线 David hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.→He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever his classmates were doing.
二、关注首句,合理构思情节
1.“以旧带新”定续写框架
两段首句定一框 ①第一段开头句衔接段首句“我们挨着坐着,但David不看我”,由此可描写David的肢体动作、表现难过的情绪和不参加比赛的原因→“我”设法劝说、鼓励David参加比赛。 ②尾句: David决定参加比赛,呼应第二段首句“David和其他选手一起走到起跑线上”。
二框二首正能量 ①第二段开头句衔接段首句“我看着David和其他选手一起走到起跑线上”,由此可描写比赛开始→David比赛过程中遇到什么困难→观众的鼓励→David的反应→坚持到最后,完成比赛。 ②尾句:完成比赛的感受+升华主题: 战胜自己的勇气和决心。
2.兼顾两情相悦
(1)续写部分情节线:
作者鼓励David比赛→强烈的心理斗争→最终决定参加比赛→克服困难→加油助威→完成比赛。
(2)人物的情感变化线:sad→shameful→inspired→determined→excited
三、捕捉伏笔,巧妙衔接对应
可续写点 伏笔语言 续写部分衔接设置
与首尾句的照应 原文第六段I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination 此处是“我”能够成功鼓励David参加越野赛跑的基础。所以续写第一段时可添加对话,“我”鼓励David时说“I am always proud of your strong determination.”。
续 表
可续写点 伏笔语言 续写部分衔接设置
与特定伏 笔的照应 原文第一段the route(路线) through thick evergreen forest(环境伏笔) 第二段可添加场景描写,同学们在赛道旁边为David加油喝彩。
原文第二段His usual big toothy smile was absent today.(神态伏笔) 第二段可添加神态描写,表现David赛后的高兴。
原文第五段After making sure...his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.(动作伏笔) 第二段可利用肢体动作描写,展现David跑步的动作。
原文第六段He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing.(主题伏笔) 这是David最令人敬佩的品质,第一段可添加对话描写,写出“我”鼓励他参赛的理由。
原文第六段David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.(主题伏笔) 由原文两个always的部分可以判断David在比赛中的结果,因此第二段可描写虽然David不可能跑赢别人,但仍坚持跑完全程。
四、润色表达,丰富细节描写
续写对David决定不参加比赛的心理、动作描写细腻,体现出David无助、矛盾的心理状态。在描写鼓励David参加比赛时,利用直接引语呈现人物对话,使人物形象更加逼真、丰满。
1.他低下头,扭动着双手。
He and wriggled his hands.(双连动词+肢体动作)
2.David很受鼓励,他深吸了一口气,鼓起勇气,“我会试试的。”
①David was inspired,so he ,“I will give it a try.”(双连动词+对话)
② , ,“I will give it a try.”(形容词作状语+双连动词+对话)
续写第二段(侧重描写肢体动作并利用场景描写烘托比赛气氛)
3.赛跑的信号一响,除了David之外,赛跑者们像子弹一样飞奔而去。
As the signal to run ignited, except David.(明喻)
4.其他学校的观众的目光落在了David身上。
fell upon David.(无灵主语)
5.他努力往前跑,小小的身子随着奔跑的节奏摇晃着。
①He struggled to run forward,and his small body .(肢体动作+并列句)
②He struggled to run forward, .(with复合结构)
6.同学们纷纷出现在赛道旁,热情地为他加油,“加油!你能做到!”
①Classmates all appeared at the side of the racing route,and ,“Come on! You can make it!”(双连动词+副词+对话)
②Classmates all appeared at the side of the racing route, ,“Come on! You can make it!”(分词短语作状语+副词+对话)
7.最后,尽管David是最后一个,但他在热烈的欢呼声和掌声中,胜利地举起双臂冲过终点线。
①Finally,though he was the last one,David as he . (肢体动作+场景描写)
②Finally, ,David .(省略句+肢体动作+场景描写)
8.人们被他的毅力深深打动,这是体育精神中最宝贵的东西。
People and it was the dearest thing in sportsmanship.
答案:1.lowered his head
2.①took a deep breath and gathered his courage
②Inspired;David took a deep breath and gathered his courage
3.runners shot out like bullets
4.The eyes of the audience from other schools
5.①rocked with the rhythm of his run
②with his small body rocking with the rhythm of his run
6.①cheered for him enthusiastically
②cheering for him enthusiastically
7.①raised his arms in triumph;crossed the finish line to wild cheers and applause
②though the last one;raised his arms in triumph as he crossed the finish line to wild cheers and applause
8.were deeply moved by his perseverance
One possible version:
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.He lowered his head and wriggled his hands.“Do you fear the audience will laugh at you ”I asked.He nodded with shame and guilt.It suddenly struck me that he was ashamed of his physical condition.I hugged him tightly,“I am always proud of your strong determination.I know you will always participate to the best of your ability in whatever you are doing.Just be yourself and you will not be looked down upon.” Shortly afterwards,inspired,David took a deep breath and gathered his courage,“I will give it a try.”
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.As the signal to run ignited,runners shot out like bullets except David.The eyes of the audience from other schools fell upon David.He struggled to run forward,with his small body rocking with the rhythm of his run.Classmates all appeared at the side of the racing route,cheering for him enthusiastically,“Come on!You can make it!” Finally,though the last one,David raised his arms in triumph as he crossed the finish line to wild cheers and applause.People were deeply moved by his perseverance and it was the dearest thing in sportsmanship.
