第三讲 微观打磨 读后续写增分策略
策略一 词汇升级
笼统词→具体词
①(2023·湖南郴州二模)Jake couldn’t believe his own eyes,looking at the latest equipment for the new ballpark.
→Jake couldn’t believe his own eyes,staring at the latest equipment for the new ballpark.
②“Don’t worry.Everything will be all right,” she said.
→“Don’t worry.Everything will be all right,”she whispered.
简单词→高级词
①(2023·徐州5月考前模拟)“My goodness,it must be wonderful to have such helpful kids,”Mrs Marie shouted.
→“My goodness,it must be wonderful to have such helpful kids,”Mrs Marie exclaimed.
②(2023·福建宁德二模)His music was good,and he didn’t dress the way I thought a country kid would.
→His music was fantastic/ fabulous/remarkable,and he didn’t dress the way I figured/considered a country kid would.
单词→短语
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)When I was invited to the stage to receive the award,I thanked my teacher.
→When I was invited to the stage to receive the award,I expressed my thanks/ appreciation/gratitude to my teacher.
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)“I knew you’d win! I am proud of you.You succeeded!” he said excitedly.
→“I knew you’d win! I am proud of you.You made it!” he said excitedly.
运用有表现力的副词
恰当地使用富有表现力的副词,能够使文章更加丰富多彩,描写得更为准确,文章更有生机。使用这些副词时,要注意把握这些词汇的确切内涵,并且符合故事发展的内在逻辑。
①(2023·浙江四校5月联考)Tightly gripping the clothing of those we were climbing over,we passed the first two tiers without difficulty.
②(2023·广东惠州高三二模)I had previously thought that an act of kindness from a stranger would not really exist.
③(2023·广东惠州高三二模)Seemingly incapable of containing his joy,he hugged me tightly and exclaimed,“I can’t believe,dad,you did it!”
运用有表现力的介词短语
介词with或in后加表示情绪、个性等的名词,经常可以与相应的副词互换,恰当地使用此结构可以增加表达的多样性。
①(2023·广东惠州高三二模)My son sighed with disappointment when carefully checking the mailbox.
②(2023·石家庄质检三)When we placed the milk on the ground again and hid away,Ellie drank it up with caution.
③(2023·济南二模)The people in charge agreed with pleasure,adding that my
father’s creativity was deeply appreciated.
策略二 高分句式和修辞
无灵主语
[表达1] (a burst/wave /sense/rush/feeling of)+表情感状态的名词+有灵动词+sb 表“某人感到……”或“一阵/一种……向某人袭来”
①(2023·聊城二模)After a few minutes,Jennifer noticed a strange feeling—fur.It was Darla brushing up against her face.A wave of warmth surged over Jennifer’s heart.
几分钟后,詹妮弗注意到一种奇怪的感觉——软毛。那是达拉擦着她的脸。一阵暖意涌上詹妮弗的心头。
②(2023·浙江义乌5月适应考试)A rush of shame flooded over me as I compared myself to Maya—Grandma’s favourite.
当我把自己和玛雅——奶奶最喜欢的孩子相比时,一阵羞耻感涌上心头。
③(2023·山东滨州二模)The feeling of anger vanished like water running down a drain,and the feeling of revenge was thrown out of the window.
愤怒的感觉就像水流进下水道一样消失了,复仇的感觉也被扔出了窗外。
[表达2] 主语(表示身体部位/“音、容、笑”的名词)+有灵动词(短语)
①(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)Deep frowns gradually climbed on my partners’ faces,with whose sudden vigorous pull,I was driven back to the reality.
我的同伴们渐渐地皱起了眉头,他们突然用力拉了我一下,把我拉回了现实。
②(2023·浙江名校联盟第三次联考)Relief and joy flooded through Rani.She flung her arms around Papa and clung to him.
宽慰和喜悦溢于言表。Rani张开双臂抱住爸爸,紧紧地搂住他。
③(2023·南京师大附中一模)Hearing other students whispering to each other,Joyce’s face flushed with shame.
听到其他学生互相窃窃私语,乔伊斯的脸羞得通红。
虚拟语气
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Without your recognition and guidance,I couldn’t have written this article.
没有您的认可和指导,我不可能写出这篇文章。
②(2023·聊城二模)She raised her head and found the little cat staring into her eyes,meowing gently,as if she sensed Jennifer’s pain and came to apologize.
她抬起头,发现那只小猫正盯着她的眼睛,轻轻地喵喵叫着,好像感觉到了詹妮弗的痛苦,过来道歉。
独立主格结构
主语+谓语...,逻辑主语+doing/done...
逻辑主语+doing/done...,主语+谓语...
逻辑主语与doing构成主动关系,或者逻辑主语与done构成被动关系构成独立主格,有时前面有介词with,在句中常作状语。
①(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)(With) tears rolling down his cheeks,David turned to me and firmly expressed his determination to finish the cross-country run.
泪水从大卫的脸颊滚落下来,他转向我,坚定地表达了他完成越野跑的决心。
②(2023·徐州5月考前模拟)A smile flashing on her face,Mama felt relieved to see that kids had learnt to help others by helping themselves.
妈妈的脸上闪过一丝微笑,看到孩子们已经学会了自助助人,她感到如释重负。
③(2023·浙江四校5月联考)Sweat trickling down my face,I took a deep breath to calm myself.
汗水从我脸上流下来,我深吸了一口气,让自己平静下来。
④(2023·广东深圳统考一模)Then Maya looked up and found Joan was smiling,eyes purposefully resting on her brace.
然后玛雅抬起头来,发现琼在微笑,眼睛故意盯着她的支架。
with 复合结构
With+宾语 (n./pron.)+宾语补足语(doing /done/to do/adj./adv./prep.-phrase)
①(2023·枣庄二模)With tears rolling down her weather-beaten face,she smiled and scooped her son into her arms.
泪水从她饱经风霜的脸上滚落下来,她微笑着把儿子抱在怀里。
②(2023·济南二模)Papa smiled like a child at the crowd,with his wrinkled face lighting up.
爸爸对着人群笑得像个孩子,满是皱纹的脸上焕发出光彩。
①(2023·枣庄二模)She took the pearl necklace out and cautiously put it on,with tears of happiness beginning to blur her vision.
她拿出珍珠项链,小心翼翼地戴上,幸福的泪水模糊了她的视线。
②(2020·新高考Ⅰ卷)His mother listened attentively to the children,with her eyes full of excitement and gratitude.
他的母亲全神贯注地听着孩子们讲话,眼里充满了兴奋和感激。
③(2023·浙江义乌5月适应考试)“I hear you are the captain of your basketball team.Even better,you are always competitive and aggressive in any sports activities,”she exclaimed,with her eyes full of envy and admiration.
“我听说你是你们篮球队的队长。更棒的是,你在任何体育活动中都很有竞争力和进取心,”她大声说,眼里充满了羡慕和钦佩。
该句式中连词and连接两个或两个以上的动作。非谓语动词作状语,可置于句首或句尾。
①(2023·泰安三模)Understanding everything,James decided to take a part-time job to earn more money and adopt the poor child.
詹姆斯明白了这一切,他决定找一份兼职工作多赚点钱,并收养这个可怜的孩子。
②(2023·广州育才中学测试)Realizing that all the scolding from her mother was due to the fact that her mother really cared a lot about her,she felt rather ashamed,and tears began to roll down her cheeks.
她意识到母亲所有的责骂都是因为母亲真的很在乎她,她感到很惭愧,眼泪开始从脸颊上滚落下来。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)With the flames inching closer,Nick quickly lifted the girl into his arms,stumbled down the stairs and into the blackness,throwing himself through the front door.
随着火焰越来越近,尼克迅速把女孩抱在怀里,跌跌撞撞地走下楼梯,走进黑暗中,从前门冲了出去。
用动作链,营造画面感
该句式中连词and连接三个或三个以上的动作,构成动作链,动词的时态是一致的。
①(2023·临沂二模)Tired out and all sweaty,I lay back on the seat,breathed in and out to steady my nerves for a while,then reluctantly sat straight.
我累了,浑身是汗,躺在座位上,吸气,呼气来稳定一下我的神经,然后不情愿地坐直了身子。
②(2023·枣庄二模)The man put the necklace into a delicate box,wrapped it in brown paper,and then placed the box in Reuben’s hands.
那个男人把项链放进一个精致的盒子里,用牛皮纸包好,然后把盒子放在鲁本手里。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)He handed over the girl,collapsed on the sidewalk and gasped for air.
他把女孩递过去,瘫倒在人行道上,大口喘着气。
除了强调句型,在突出某一成分时,还可以用部分倒装句型。
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)It’s you who make me fall in love with writing,my social studies teacher.
是你让我爱上了写作,我的社会学老师。
②(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)It was literally dad’s love that supported me along my way to be an outstanding actor.
是爸爸的爱支持着我一路成为一名出色的演员。
③(2023·石家庄质检三)After Amanda poured the milk into a bowl and put it near Ellie,however,so nervous and frightened was Ellie that she stepped backward,hungrily looking at the milk.
阿曼达把牛奶倒进碗里,放在艾莉身边,然而,艾莉又紧张又害怕,她向后退了一步,饥饿地看着牛奶。
④(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)Never in my wildest dream did I imagine that I was indeed assigned the intern job to act on a school life show and my first public appearance on TV was in five days.
我做梦也没有想到我真的被分配到实习工作,在学校生活节目中表演,而我第一次在电视上公开露面是在五天后。
该句型是一个全部倒装句,主语必须是名词,谓语动词为不及物动词,常见的表地点或运动方向的副词有in,out,off,away,up,down,outside,inside等。
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)A few weeks later,when I almost forgot the contest,there came the news.
几个星期后,当我几乎忘记了这个比赛的时候,传来了消息。
②(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)In front of him was the little girl,huddling in the dark.
在他面前的是那个小女孩,蜷缩在黑暗中。
③(2023·山东威海)After a short silence,there went thunderous applause and cheers coming from the students,who were crazy fans of the team.
短暂的沉默之后,学生们发出了雷鸣般的掌声和欢呼声,他们都是这个队伍的狂热粉丝。
比喻
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)I owe my success to my social studies teacher who is a beacon in my life on the road to writing.
我把我的成功归功于我的社会学老师,他是我写作道路上的灯塔。
②(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)Picturing my families eagerly waiting for my performance,I worked day and night as busy as a bee for fear that I would make a fool of myself live on TV.
想象着我的家人热切地等待着我的表演,我就像蜜蜂一样日夜忙碌,因为我害怕在电视直播中出丑。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)Black smoke was gathering at the ceiling,then pouring down like a monster licking his skin.
黑烟在天花板上聚集,然后像怪物一样舔着他的皮肤倾泻而下。
④(2023·辽宁实验中学四次模拟)To Mai Lin’s surprise,Alison turned as pale as the moon and shook her head.
令麦林吃惊的是,艾莉森脸色苍白,摇了摇头。
拟人
①With the yellow shirt dancing in the breeze,she flashed back to her happy life with Tom.
黄衬衫在微风中飞舞,她又回想起她和汤姆的幸福生活。
②The wind was whispering in the trees,and birds in the trees were singing a beautiful song.
风在林间低语,小鸟在树上唱着美妙的歌曲。
策略三 打造龙头和凤尾
高分开头
如何写好读后续写,在高考中获得梦寐以求的高分 如何让学生的作品在高考中脱颖而出 这是很多老师和学生一直不懈努力的课题。一个好的故事开头就好比是一个香味十足的诱饵,诱使读者上钩并且饶有趣味地读完。 而一个拙劣的故事开头,一定会让读者大倒胃口,恹恹欲睡。“Well begun is half done!” 可见写好一个故事的开头是多么的重要。下面教你五招高分开头的方式。
巧用形容词副词(短语)
①(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)Disappointed and frustrated,David hung his head,trying to avoid eye contact with me.
大卫又失望又沮丧,低下头,尽量避免和我有眼神接触。
②(2023·浙江义乌5月适应考试)Astonished and speechless,I wondered how she knew about my skating.
我惊讶得说不出话来,不知道她是怎么知道我滑冰的。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)Sweat forming on his forehead,he choked on smoke,worried and helpless.
他的额头上冒出了汗水,他被烟呛住了,又担心又无助。
巧用分词(短语)
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Holding my hands,he said, “Congratulations! You are a good writer,so keep writing.”
他握着我的手说:“恭喜你!你是个好作家,继续写吧。”
②(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)Seeing his face filled with anxiety,I felt sad,deciding to talk something with him.
看到他满脸焦虑,我感到很难过,决定和他谈谈。
③(2023·湖南师大附中模拟)Then she suggested I talk about my mom,helping me patiently organize my thoughts into reasonable and heartfelt sentences.
然后她建议我谈谈我的妈妈,耐心地帮助我将我的想法组织成合理而真诚的句子。
④(2023·湖南郴州统考三模)Rescuers formed a horizontal line along the slope,each standing just 60cm apart,and inserted their probes down into the deep,chunky snow,hoping to hit and locate the buried skier.
救援人员沿着斜坡排成一条水平线,每条线相距只有60厘米,然后将探测仪插入厚厚的积雪中,希望能击中并定位被埋的滑雪者。
巧用高级句式
①(2021·浙江1月卷)I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.My brother came up with an idea that he could cut the pumpkin with a knife.(同位语从句)
我被困了五六分钟,但我感觉要长得多。我的弟弟想出了一个主意,他可以用小刀把南瓜切开。
②(2023·杭州二模)I wanted to give the audience my best.I was so absorbed in my performance that I forgot Danny was offstage.(so...that...句型)
我想把我最好的一面展现给观众。我全神贯注于我的表演,以至于忘记了丹尼在台下。
③(2023·山东淄博二模)“Thank you for saving my life,”he said,showing his sincere gratitude to Frank and the other two men,who left the hospital in relief after ensuring the old man was safe.(非谓语动词+定语从句)
“谢谢你们救了我的命,”他说,向弗兰克和其他两个人表达了真诚的感谢,他们在确保老人安全后宽慰地离开了医院。
④(2023·湖北联考三模)Having performed masterfully,we finished our three songs,and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs,“YOU DID IT!” What delighted me more was that they fully enjoyed their performance without getting panicked,winning storms of cheers and applause.(主语从句+表语从句+非谓语动词)
经过精湛的表演,我们唱完了三首歌,我想扯开嗓子大喊:“你做到了!” 更让我高兴的是,他们完全享受了自己的表演,没有惊慌失措,赢得了雷鸣般的欢呼声和掌声。
巧用倒装结构
①(2020·浙江1月卷)Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared.Hardly had the little dog come out when Poppy came over to lick it as if it were a long-lost friend.
爸爸打开盒子,一只可爱的小狗出现了。小狗一出来,波比就过来舔它,好像它是一个失散多年的朋友。
②(2023·山东威海二模)Suddenly,one teammate passed the ball to him,but so fast did the ball fly that Reuben was too nervous to jump for it.
突然,一个队友把球传给了他,但球飞得太快了,以至于鲁本太紧张,不敢跳起来接球。
③(2023·烟台二模)Not until Jack came to and found himself and his belongings in an emergency room did he learn that the lady had contacted his family and quietly left.
直到杰克醒来,发现自己和他的财物都在急诊室里,他才知道那位女士已经联系了他的家人,然后悄悄地离开了。
巧用强调句结构
①(2023·聊城二模)With a good stretch,Darla rested happily next to her,Jennifer was clear that it was true feelings that brought them mutual trust.
达拉愉快地躺在她身边,伸了个懒腰,詹妮弗很清楚,是真实的感情使她们相互信任。
②(2023·浙江嵊州5月诊断)I felt proud of her and also told that it was her grandma’s persistence and love that made her achieve her dream.
我为她感到骄傲,也告诉她是奶奶的坚持和爱让她实现了自己的梦想。
③(2023·浙江9+1联盟5月考前模拟)In my heart,I knew that it was because of her generosity and sympathy that we could spend that warm and happy Christmas.
在我心里,我知道正是因为她的慷慨和同情,我们才能度过那个温暖而快乐的圣诞节。
漂亮结尾
续写不能虎头蛇尾,在篇末也要用心设计。由于文章的故事性、情节性强,所以续写的结尾可以是自然的升华议论,也可以是其他方式结尾。常见的结尾方式有五种,即画面定格、对话收尾、主题升华、结尾留白和首尾呼应。
主题升华法
①(2022·浙江1月卷)More importantly,I earned my teammate’s recognition and we have realized the true meaning of friendship since then.(感悟友谊的真正含义)
更重要的是,我赢得了队友的认可,并且从那时起我们意识到友谊的真正含义。
②(2023·福建泉州统考三模)It was not as if she had become someone new;it was more as if she had discovered a real self she had not known before.She truly liked her newly discovered self.So did I.(欣赏新的自我)
这并不是说她变成了一个新的人,这更像是她发现了一个她以前不知道的真实的自我。她真的很喜欢新发现的自己。我也是。
③(2023·湖北三校联考三模)It was a blessing that I was surrounded by kids who had a dream,who refused to give up,who taught me never to doubt the possibility of success for any student ever again.(心怀梦想,永不放弃,坚信成功)
幸运的是,我周围的孩子们都有梦想,他们拒绝放弃,他们教会我永远不要再怀疑任何学生成功的可能性。
④(2023·江苏统考二模)He asked for help,for a lift to get home,and in good faith I gave them to him.That’s got to be a good thing.(助人为乐)
他请求帮助,要求搭车回家,我真诚地让他搭了车。这肯定是件好事。
⑤(2023·南京师大附中一模)That day,Joyce learnt the biggest lesson of his life:It is always better to work as a team rather than working alone.(团队合作的重要性)
那一天,乔伊斯学到了他人生中最重要的一课:团队合作总比单打独斗要好。
首尾呼应法
①(2023·杭州二模)开头:I told Danny it was my turn to play,be good,and be quiet when I play,and I’ll come back to you when I’m done.
我告诉丹尼,轮到我演奏了,我演奏的时候要乖,要安静,我演奏完就回来找你。
结尾:When I finished,there was thunderous applause and I picked up my little Danny to thank the audience and waved off the stage.
当我结束时,台下响起雷鸣般的掌声,我抱起我的小丹尼感谢观众,挥手离开舞台。
②(2023·浙江绍兴二模)开头:My friends kept right on climbing but they did not forget me.Someone was always behind me to help hold my feet steady when necessary,while someone else was ahead to offer a hand up.
我的朋友们继续攀爬,但他们没有忘记我。总有人在我后面,必要时帮我稳住脚,而另一些人在前面伸出手来。
结尾:I could feel all the fear draining out of me.I never felt so alive,and so thankful for my friends and that life.
我能感觉到所有的恐惧从我身上消失了。我从未感到如此有活力,也从未如此感激我的朋友和那样的生活。
会用会仿,打造专属语料库
读后续写所选材料通常是故事情节较强的记叙文。高分作文,不仅要求学生续写的情节合理,更要求学生有较强的语言表达能力。日常写作中,学生所写作文由于存在写人记事过于笼统、内容单调空洞、缺乏细节描写等问题,难以给人留下深刻的印象。而成功的细节描写不仅能给人以画面感,更能使写人记事生动传神,令人难忘。
1.心理描写
(1)开心激动
①in cheerful spirits心情愉快
②brighten sb’s heart使某人心情愉快
③indescribably wild joy难以形容的喜悦
④on the top of the world心满意足,非常幸福
⑤tears of happiness flowing down流下幸福的泪水
⑥can hardly conceal his excitement几乎无法掩饰他的激动
⑦feel a mixture of excitement and happiness感觉既兴奋又开心
⑧a satisfied look/an encouraging expression appeared on her face一个满意的表情/一个令人鼓舞的表情出现在她的脸上
⑨He was overwhelmingly thrilled at the fact that he overcame the fear of being laughed at by others.(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)
他非常激动,因为他克服了怕被别人嘲笑的恐惧。
⑩Dad said we would go camping next week,his eyes glittering/twinkling with excitement.
爸爸说我们下星期去露营,他的眼中闪烁着兴奋的光芒。
(2)伤心忧郁
①sob / weep with one’s face hidden in one’s hands掩面啜泣
②great sorrow clouds sb’s eyes满眼忧伤
③a strong sense of loss强烈的失落感
④make one’s heart bleed使某人悲痛
⑤be overcome with grief悲痛欲绝
⑥hang/drop/lower/bend/bow one’s head in sadness伤心地低下头
⑦tears roll/run/stream/flow down sb’s cheeks 或 tears well up悲伤不已
⑧a flash of grief came upon sb感到一阵悲伤
⑨Upon hearing the bad news,her heart ached,tears streaming down her cheeks.
一听到这个坏消息,她心痛得眼泪直流。
⑩The news cast a cloud of gloom over his face.
这个消息让他脸上蒙上了一层阴影。
(3)生气愤怒
①lose one’s temper发脾气
②arouse one’s displeasure引起某人的不快
③be seized by anger充满愤怒
④hit the ceiling/roof勃然大怒
⑤flame with anger气得满脸通红
⑥get/be mad/cross with sb对某人勃然大怒
⑦express/voice a complaint about对……表示不满
⑧run out of the room in a burst of anger怒气冲冲地跑出房间
⑨His face clouded with anger.
他气得脸色阴沉。
⑩Sheldon felt so angry that he stormed out of the room,slamming the door furiously behind him.
谢尔顿感到非常生气,他冲出房间,狠狠摔门。
(4)害怕惊讶
①full of horror/struck with horror 充满恐惧
②be seized with panic 惊慌失措
③turn pale 变得苍白
④tremble from head to toe全身颤抖
⑤look at her in astonishment 惊讶地看着她
⑥choke with fear因为害怕而哽咽
⑦heart beats violently心跳得厉害
⑧Fear slowly creeps upon her.
恐惧慢慢地在她身上蔓延。
⑨A flood of fear welled up in him./Fear flooded over him.
他心中涌起一阵恐惧。
⑩She shook all over,feeling like sitting on pins and needles.
她浑身颤抖,感觉如坐针毡。
2.动作描写
(1)上肢动作
双臂交叉 with arms crossed 臂挽臂 arm in arm
拥抱 hug/hold/embrace sb in one’s arms 抓住某人的胳膊 catch/grab/hold one’s arm
抱住某人 put/throw one’s arms around sb 拉某人进怀 pull sb into one’s arms
张开双臂 hold out/open one’s arms 拍某人的肩膀 tap/pat sb on the shoulder
耸耸肩 shrug one’s shoulders 用手接电话 cup one’s hand over the phone
(2)嘴部动作
打哈欠 hide one’s yawn 目瞪口呆 open- mouthed
捂住嘴 cover one’s mouth 忍住话 bite one’s lip
保守 秘密 keep one’s mouth shut 某人惊得目瞪口呆 one’s mouth falls open
擦嘴 wipe one’s mouth 咧开嘴笑 grin with delight
低声地 in a whisper/ in whispers 以亲切/微弱/响亮/坚定/刺耳/甜美/悦耳/低沉/安慰的声音 in a kind / weak / loud/ firm/ sharp/ sweet/ musical/ low / comforting voice
(3)眼部动作
凝视/怒视/扫视/盯着看/仔细看 gaze/glare/glance/stare/peer at 偷看 take a peek at=steal a glance at
瞥一眼 catch a glimpse of 抬眼看去 raise one’s eyes
对某人翻白眼 roll one’s eyes at 目光转向 turn one’s eyes on
看见 catch sight of 紧闭双眼 squeeze one’s eyes shut
直视 look sb straight in the eyes 避免和某人进行眼神交流 avoid eye contact with sb
(4)头部动作
低头 bend/bow/hang/drop/lower/one’s head 双手抱头 put/hold one’s head in one’s hands
用枕头捂住头 bury one’s head in the pillow 把头靠在某人肩膀上 rest one’s head on one’s shoulder
耷拉 着头 droop one’s head 挠了挠头 scratch one’s head
探出头 poke one’s head out 摇头 shake one’s head
点头 同意 nod one’s head 清醒一下头脑 clear one’s head
(5)腿部动作
跳起来 jump/spring to one’s feet 摇摇晃晃站起身来 stagger to one’s feet
站起来 rise to one’s feet 跺脚 tap/stamp one’s feet
闲逛 hang around/about 快速跑开 run quickly/ swiftly
爬进 帐篷 creep into one’s tent 站在原地不动 stand rooted to the spot
像风一样奔跑 rush/dash/ run like the wind 蹑手蹑脚地上楼 creep/ sneak up the stairs
蹑手蹑脚 on tiptoe 上蹿下跳 bounce up and down
用疲惫/颤抖的双腿 on tired/shaky legs 瘫坐 sink/collapse into one’s seat
3.场景描写
(1)美好景色
①the songs of birds 鸟鸣
②the setting/rising sun 落日/冉冉升起的太阳
③the fragile flowers 娇嫩的花
④the fragrant roses 芳香的玫瑰
⑤The hills are bathed in the sunshine and river glitters.
山丘沐浴在阳光下,河面波光粼粼。
⑥What amazed me most was that thick clouds enveloped the mountainsides.
最让我吃惊的是,厚厚的云层笼罩着山腰。
⑦Mist-covered mountains were dotted with small farms and villages.
雾蒙蒙的山上星星点点地散落着小农场和村庄。
⑧Bathed in the golden sunlight,the sea rippled and sparkled charmingly.
大海沐浴在金色的阳光下,荡漾着迷人的波光。
⑨Deep in the night,villages,woods and clear pools are as quiet as ink paintings.
夜深了,村庄、树林、清潭静得如水墨画一般。
⑩The scenery along the journey is just like a breathtaking landscape painting.
沿路的风景就像一幅美丽的山水画。
When we reached the top of the hill,a magnificent view of the sea greeted us.
当我们到达山顶时,我们看到了一片壮丽的海景。
However,the lakes shone like glass in the setting sun and looked wonderful.
然而,湖水在落日的余晖下闪亮如镜,景色迷人。
(2)恶劣天气
①the thundering clouds 电闪雷鸣
②burdened with lumps of dark clouds 乌云密布
③Immediately,an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
顷刻间,黑暗统治了森林。
④The needle-cold wind pierced his face.
寒风如针,刺着他的脸。
⑤It suddenly seemed frighteningly quiet.The air was charged with tension.
突然安静得可怕,空气中弥漫着紧张的气氛。
⑥The whole city fell into a deep sleep,covered by darkness in silence.
整座城市陷入了沉睡,在一片寂静中被黑暗笼罩着。
⑦Outside,the winds blew the trees and beat against the houses,which made people unable to open their eyes.
外面,风吹着树,拍打着房子,使人们无法睁开眼睛。
⑧The ice wind started howling,cutting my face like a sharp knife.
寒风开始咆哮,像锋利的刀子一样刮在我的脸上。
4.人物描写
(1)外貌体型
①a graceful figure 优美的身段
②a skinny/slim figure 消瘦/苗条的身材
③a well-developed figure 发育良好的身材
④have a good figure (人)身材很好
⑤an average/a well-built figure 中等/魁梧的身材
⑥His eyes are deep-set because he has worked till midnight for a long time.
他的眼睛深陷,因为他这段时间经常工作到午夜。
⑦When she smiled,she showed her white even teeth.
她微微一笑,露出了洁白整齐的牙齿。
⑧She has a very pleasant smile and she always has a twinkle in her eyes.When she works,she always puts on her glasses.
她时常灿烂地微笑,两只大眼睛总是闪闪发光。她工作的时候,总是戴着眼镜。
⑨While her physical beauty was astounding,it was her invisible beauty that I should always remember.
尽管她美得惊人,但我对她的内在美更记忆犹新。
⑩She was young,with a fair,calm face that showed a certain strength.
她年纪轻,满脸的恬静,展现出一种与众不同的力量。
(2)性格特征
①charming 富有魅力的;讨人喜爱的
②armed/equipped with a keen insight into...
对……具有敏锐的洞察力
③a self-possessed person一个沉着冷静的人
④a good-natured man一个性情和善的人
⑤be down-to-earth务实的
⑥an outspoken man一个说话直率的人
⑦highly qualified,well-experienced teaching staff高素质、有经验的老师
⑧a cultured woman一个有教养的女子
⑨He muttered so badly that they couldn’t understand him.
他喃喃自语,以至于他们都没理解他的意思。
⑩Her sense of humour could brighten your entire day and her wise words were always exactly what you needed to hear.
她的幽默感可以让你一整天都感到非常开心,而她智慧的话语总是你恰好需要听到的。
(3)神态表情
①crack a smile 展颜一笑
②one’s face paled with fright 某人吓得脸色苍白
③had a slight frown on one’s face 某人愁眉不展的样子
④his face grew serious 他的表情变得严肃
⑤be down in the dumps 垂头丧气
⑥Jack’s face flushed/burned with embarrassment.
杰克窘迫得满脸通红。
⑦He nodded slowly and smiled with a look of gratitude.
他慢慢地点了下头,带着感激的表情微笑着。
⑧He smiled,his eyes full of laughter.
他露出了笑容,双眼充满笑意。
⑨Color glowed in his face and his strange eyes widened with joyfulness.
他的脸熠熠闪光,奇怪的眼睛因欢乐而大大睁开。
⑩She rode the rest of the way home wearing a Mona Lisa smile of peace and grace.
她带着蒙娜丽莎般平静而优雅的微笑,骑完了剩下的回家路。(共83张PPT)
第三讲 微观打磨
读后续写增分策略
策略一 词汇升级
笼统词→具体词
①(2023·湖南郴州二模)Jake couldn’t believe his own
eyes,looking at the latest equipment for the new
ballpark.
→Jake couldn’t believe his own eyes,staring at the
latest equipment for the new ballpark.
②“Don’t worry.Everything will be all right,” she
said.
→“Don’t worry.Everything will be all right,”she
whispered.
简单词→高级词
①(2023·徐州5月考前模拟)“My goodness,it must be
wonderful to have such helpful kids,”Mrs Marie shouted.
→“My goodness,it must be wonderful to have such
helpful kids,”Mrs Marie exclaimed.
②(2023·福建宁德二模)His music was good,and he didn’t
dress the way I thought a country kid would.
→His music was fantastic/ fabulous/remarkable,and he
didn’t dress the way I figured/considered a country
kid would.
单词→短语
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)When I was invited to the stage to
receive the award,I thanked my teacher.
→When I was invited to the stage to receive the
award,I expressed my thanks/ appreciation/gratitude to
my teacher.
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)“I knew you’d win! I am proud of
you.You succeeded!” he said excitedly.
→“I knew you’d win! I am proud of you.You made it!”
he said excitedly.
运用有表现力的副词
恰当地使用富有表现力的副词,能够使文章更加丰富多彩,描写得更为准确,文章更有生机。使用这些副词时,要注意把握这些词汇的确切内涵,并且符合故事发展的内在逻辑。
①(2023·浙江四校5月联考)Tightly gripping the clothing of
those we were climbing over,we passed the first two
tiers without difficulty.
②(2023·广东惠州高三二模)I had previously thought that
an act of kindness from a stranger would not really
exist.
③(2023·广东惠州高三二模)Seemingly incapable of
containing his joy,he hugged me tightly and
exclaimed,“I can’t believe,dad,you did it!”
介词with或in后加表示情绪、个性等的名词,经常可以与相应的副词互换,恰当地使用此结构可以增加表达的多样性。
①(2023·广东惠州高三二模)My son sighed with
disappointment when carefully checking the
mailbox.
②(2023·石家庄质检三)When we placed the milk on the
ground again and hid away,Ellie drank it up with
caution.
运用有表现力的介词短语
③(2023·济南二模)The people in charge agreed
with pleasure,adding that my father’s
creativity was deeply appreciated.
策略二 高分句式和修辞
无灵主语
[表达1] (a burst/wave /sense/rush/feeling of)+表情感状态的名词+有灵动词+sb 表“某人感到……”或“一阵/一种……向某人袭来”
①(2023·聊城二模)After a few minutes,Jennifer noticed a
strange feeling—fur.It was Darla brushing up against
her face.A wave of warmth surged over Jennifer’s
heart.
几分钟后,詹妮弗注意到一种奇怪的感觉——软毛。那是达拉
擦着她的脸。一阵暖意涌上詹妮弗的心头。
②(2023·浙江义乌5月适应考试)A rush of shame flooded
over me as I compared myself to Maya—Grandma’s
favourite.
当我把自己和玛雅——奶奶最喜欢的孩子相比时,一阵羞耻感
涌上心头。
③(2023·山东滨州二模)The feeling of anger vanished like
water running down a drain,and the feeling of revenge
was thrown out of the window.
愤怒的感觉就像水流进下水道一样消失了,复仇的感觉也被扔
出了窗外。
[表达2] 主语(表示身体部位/“音、容、笑”的名词)+有灵动词(短语)
①(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)Deep frowns gradually climbed
on my partners’ faces,with whose sudden vigorous
pull,I was driven back to the reality.
我的同伴们渐渐地皱起了眉头,他们突然用力拉了我一下,把我
拉回了现实。
②(2023·浙江名校联盟第三次联考)Relief and joy flooded
through Rani.She flung her arms around Papa and clung
to him.
宽慰和喜悦溢于言表。Rani张开双臂抱住爸爸,紧紧地搂住他。
③(2023·南京师大附中一模)Hearing other students
whispering to each other,Joyce’s face flushed
with shame.
听到其他学生互相窃窃私语,乔伊斯的脸羞得通红。
虚拟语气
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Without your recognition and guidance,
I couldn’t have written this article.
没有您的认可和指导,我不可能写出这篇文章。
②(2023·聊城二模)She raised her head and found the little
cat staring into her eyes,meowing gently,as if she
sensed Jennifer’s pain and came to apologize.
她抬起头,发现那只小猫正盯着她的眼睛,轻轻地喵喵叫着,好像
感觉到了詹妮弗的痛苦,过来道歉。
独立主格结构
主语+谓语...,逻辑主语+doing/done...
逻辑主语+doing/done...,主语+谓语...
逻辑主语与doing构成主动关系,或者逻辑主语与done构成被动关系构成独立主格,有时前面有介词with,在句中常作状语。
①(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)(With) tears rolling down his cheeks,
David turned to me and firmly expressed his
determination to finish the cross-country run.
泪水从大卫的脸颊滚落下来,他转向我,坚定地表达了他完成越野
跑的决心。
②(2023·徐州5月考前模拟)A smile flashing on her face,
Mama felt relieved to see that kids had learnt to help
others by helping themselves.
妈妈的脸上闪过一丝微笑,看到孩子们已经学会了自助助人,她感
到如释重负。
③(2023·浙江四校5月联考)Sweat trickling down my face,I
took a deep breath to calm myself.
汗水从我脸上流下来,我深吸了一口气,让自己平静下来。
④(2023·广东深圳统考一模)Then Maya looked up
and found Joan was smiling,eyes purposefully
resting on her brace.
然后玛雅抬起头来,发现琼在微笑,眼睛故意盯着她的
支架。
with 复合结构
With+宾语 (n./pron.)+宾语补足语(doing /done/to do/adj./
adv./prep.-phrase)
①(2023·枣庄二模)With tears rolling down her weather-
beaten face,she smiled and scooped her son into her
arms.
泪水从她饱经风霜的脸上滚落下来,她微笑着把儿子抱在怀里。
②(2023·济南二模)Papa smiled like a child at the crowd,
with his wrinkled face lighting up.
爸爸对着人群笑得像个孩子,满是皱纹的脸上焕发出光彩。
①(2023·枣庄二模)She took the pearl necklace out and
cautiously put it on,with tears of happiness beginning
to blur her vision.
她拿出珍珠项链,小心翼翼地戴上,幸福的泪水模糊了她的视线。
②(2020·新高考Ⅰ卷)His mother listened attentively to
the children,with her eyes full of excitement and
gratitude.
他的母亲全神贯注地听着孩子们讲话,眼里充满了兴奋和感激。
③(2023·浙江义乌5月适应考试)“I hear you are the
captain of your basketball team.Even better,you
are always competitive and aggressive in any
sports activities,”she exclaimed,with her eyes
full of envy and admiration.
“我听说你是你们篮球队的队长。更棒的是,你在任何
体育活动中都很有竞争力和进取心,”她大声说,眼里
充满了羡慕和钦佩。
该句式中连词and连接两个或两个以上的动作。非谓语动词作状语,可置于句首或句尾。
①(2023·泰安三模)Understanding everything,James decided
to take a part-time job to earn more money and adopt
the poor child.
詹姆斯明白了这一切,他决定找一份兼职工作多赚点钱,并收养
这个可怜的孩子。
②(2023·广州育才中学测试)Realizing that all the
scolding from her mother was due to the fact
that her mother really cared a lot about
her,she felt rather ashamed,and tears began to
roll down her cheeks.
她意识到母亲所有的责骂都是因为母亲真的很在乎
她,她感到很惭愧,眼泪开始从脸颊上滚落下来。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)With the flames inching
closer,Nick quickly lifted the girl into his
arms,stumbled down the stairs and into the
blackness,throwing himself through the front
door.
随着火焰越来越近,尼克迅速把女孩抱在怀里,跌跌撞
撞地走下楼梯,走进黑暗中,从前门冲了出去。
用动作链,营造画面感
该句式中连词and连接三个或三个以上的动作,构成动作链,动词的时态是一致的。
①(2023·临沂二模)Tired out and all sweaty,I lay
back on the seat,breathed in and out to steady
my nerves for a while,then reluctantly sat
straight.
我累了,浑身是汗,躺在座位上,吸气,呼气来稳定一下
我的神经,然后不情愿地坐直了身子。
②(2023·枣庄二模)The man put the necklace into a
delicate box,wrapped it in brown paper,and then
placed the box in Reuben’s hands.
那个男人把项链放进一个精致的盒子里,用牛皮纸包
好,然后把盒子放在鲁本手里。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)He handed over the girl,
collapsed on the sidewalk and gasped for air.
他把女孩递过去,瘫倒在人行道上,大口喘着气。
除了强调句型,在突出某一成分时,还可以用部分倒装句型。
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)It’s you who make me fall in love
with writing,my social studies teacher.
是你让我爱上了写作,我的社会学老师。
②(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)It was literally dad’s love
that supported me along my way to be an outstanding
actor.
是爸爸的爱支持着我一路成为一名出色的演员。
③(2023·石家庄质检三)After Amanda poured the
milk into a bowl and put it near Ellie,
however,so nervous and frightened was Ellie
that she stepped backward,hungrily looking at
the milk.
阿曼达把牛奶倒进碗里,放在艾莉身边,然而,艾莉又紧
张又害怕,她向后退了一步,饥饿地看着牛奶。
④(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)Never in my wildest
dream did I imagine that I was indeed assigned
the intern job to act on a school life show and
my first public appearance on TV was in five
days.
我做梦也没有想到我真的被分配到实习工作,在学校生
活节目中表演,而我第一次在电视上公开露面是在五
天后。
该句型是一个全部倒装句,主语必须是名词,谓语动词为不及物动词,常见的表地点或运动方向的副词有in,out,off,away,up,
down,outside,inside等。
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)A few weeks later,when I almost
forgot the contest,there came the news.
几个星期后,当我几乎忘记了这个比赛的时候,传来了消息。
②(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)In front of him was
the little girl,huddling in the dark.
在他面前的是那个小女孩,蜷缩在黑暗中。
③(2023·山东威海)After a short silence,there
went thunderous applause and cheers coming
from the students,who were crazy fans of the
team.
短暂的沉默之后,学生们发出了雷鸣般的掌声和欢呼
声,他们都是这个队伍的狂热粉丝。
比喻
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)I owe my success to my social studies
teacher who is a beacon in my life on the road to writing.
我把我的成功归功于我的社会学老师,他是我写作道路上的灯塔。
②(2023·湖南长沙一中模拟)Picturing my families eagerly
waiting for my performance,I worked day and night as busy
as a bee for fear that I would make a fool of myself live
on TV.
想象着我的家人热切地等待着我的表演,我就像蜜蜂一样日夜忙碌,因
为我害怕在电视直播中出丑。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)Black smoke was gathering
at the ceiling,then pouring down like a monster
licking his skin.
黑烟在天花板上聚集,然后像怪物一样舔着他的皮肤倾泻而下。
④(2023·辽宁实验中学四次模拟)To Mai Lin’s surprise,
Alison turned as pale as the moon and shook her
head.
令麦林吃惊的是,艾莉森脸色苍白,摇了摇头。
拟人
①With the yellow shirt dancing in the breeze,she
flashed back to her happy life with Tom.
黄衬衫在微风中飞舞,她又回想起她和汤姆的幸福生活。
②The wind was whispering in the trees,and birds
in the trees were singing a beautiful song.
风在林间低语,小鸟在树上唱着美妙的歌曲。
策略三 打造龙头和凤尾
高分开头
如何写好读后续写,在高考中获得梦寐以求的高分 如何让学生的作品在高考中脱颖而出 这是很多老师和学生一直不懈努力的课题。一个好的故事开头就好比是一个香味十足的诱饵,诱使读者上钩并且饶有趣味地读完。 而一个拙劣的故事开头,一定会让读者大倒胃口,恹恹欲睡。“Well begun is half done!” 可见写好一个故事的开头是多么的重要。下面教你五招高分开头的方式。
巧用形容词副词(短语)
①(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)Disappointed and frustrated,David
hung his head,trying to avoid eye contact with me.
大卫又失望又沮丧,低下头,尽量避免和我有眼神接触。
②(2023·浙江义乌5月适应考试)Astonished and speechless,I
wondered how she knew about my skating.
我惊讶得说不出话来,不知道她是怎么知道我滑冰的。
③(2023·浙江精诚联盟三模)Sweat forming on his
forehead,he choked on smoke,worried and
helpless.
他的额头上冒出了汗水,他被烟呛住了,又担心又
无助。
巧用分词(短语)
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Holding my hands,he said,
“Congratulations! You are a good writer,so
keep writing.”
他握着我的手说:“恭喜你!你是个好作家,继续写吧。”
②(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)Seeing his face filled with
anxiety,I felt sad,deciding to talk something
with him.
看到他满脸焦虑,我感到很难过,决定和他谈谈。
③(2023·湖南师大附中模拟)Then she suggested I talk about
my mom,helping me patiently organize my thoughts into
reasonable and heartfelt sentences.
然后她建议我谈谈我的妈妈,耐心地帮助我将我的想法组织成合
理而真诚的句子。
④(2023·湖南郴州统考三模)Rescuers formed a horizontal
line along the slope,each standing just 60cm apart,and
inserted their probes down into the deep,chunky snow,
hoping to hit and locate the buried skier.
救援人员沿着斜坡排成一条水平线,每条线相距只有60厘米,然
后将探测仪插入厚厚的积雪中,希望能击中并定位被埋的滑雪者。
巧用高级句式
①(2021·浙江1月卷)I was stuck for five or six
minutes though it felt much longer.My brother
came up with an idea that he could cut the
pumpkin with a knife.(同位语从句)
我被困了五六分钟,但我感觉要长得多。我的弟弟想出
了一个主意,他可以用小刀把南瓜切开。
②(2023·杭州二模)I wanted to give the audience my best.I
was so absorbed in my performance that I forgot Danny
was offstage.(so...that...句型)
我想把我最好的一面展现给观众。我全神贯注于我的表演,以至
于忘记了丹尼在台下。
③(2023·山东淄博二模)“Thank you for saving my life,”he
said,showing his sincere gratitude to Frank and the
other two men,who left the hospital in relief after
ensuring the old man was safe.(非谓语动词+定语从句)
“谢谢你们救了我的命,”他说,向弗兰克和其他两个人表达了
真诚的感谢,他们在确保老人安全后宽慰地离开了医院。
④(2023·湖北联考三模)Having performed masterfully,we
finished our three songs,and I wanted to scream at the
top of my lungs,“YOU DID IT!” What delighted me more
was that they fully enjoyed their performance without
getting panicked,winning storms of cheers and applause.
(主语从句+表语从句+非谓语动词)
经过精湛的表演,我们唱完了三首歌,我想扯开嗓子大喊:“你做
到了!” 更让我高兴的是,他们完全享受了自己的表演,没有惊
慌失措,赢得了雷鸣般的欢呼声和掌声。
巧用倒装结构
①(2020·浙江1月卷)Dad opened the box and a sweet
little dog appeared.Hardly had the little dog
come out when Poppy came over to lick it as if
it were a long-lost friend.
爸爸打开盒子,一只可爱的小狗出现了。小狗一出来,
波比就过来舔它,好像它是一个失散多年的朋友。
②(2023·山东威海二模)Suddenly,one teammate
passed the ball to him,but so fast did the ball
fly that Reuben was too nervous to jump for it.
突然,一个队友把球传给了他,但球飞得太快了,以至于
鲁本太紧张,不敢跳起来接球。
③(2023·烟台二模)Not until Jack came to and
found himself and his belongings in an
emergency room did he learn that the lady had
contacted his family and quietly left.
直到杰克醒来,发现自己和他的财物都在急诊室里,他
才知道那位女士已经联系了他的家人,然后悄悄地离
开了。
巧用强调句结构
①(2023·聊城二模)With a good stretch,Darla
rested happily next to her,Jennifer was clear
that it was true feelings that brought them
mutual trust.
达拉愉快地躺在她身边,伸了个懒腰,詹妮弗很清楚,是
真实的感情使她们相互信任。
②(2023·浙江嵊州5月诊断)I felt proud of her and
also told that it was her grandma’s
persistence and love that made her achieve her
dream.
我为她感到骄傲,也告诉她是奶奶的坚持和爱让她实
现了自己的梦想。
③(2023·浙江9+1联盟5月考前模拟)In my heart,I
knew that it was because of her generosity and
sympathy that we could spend that warm and
happy Christmas.
在我心里,我知道正是因为她的慷慨和同情,我们才能
度过那个温暖而快乐的圣诞节。
漂亮结尾
续写不能虎头蛇尾,在篇末也要用心设计。由于文章的故事性、情节性强,所以续写的结尾可以是自然的升华议论,也可以是其他方式结尾。常见的结尾方式有五种,即画面定格、对话收尾、主题升华、结尾留白和首尾呼应。
主题升华法
①(2022·浙江1月卷)More importantly,I earned my
teammate’s recognition and we have realized
the true meaning of friendship since then.(感
悟友谊的真正含义)
更重要的是,我赢得了队友的认可,并且从那时起我们
意识到友谊的真正含义。
②(2023·福建泉州统考三模)It was not as if she
had become someone new;it was more as if she
had discovered a real self she had not known
before.She truly liked her newly discovered
self.So did I.(欣赏新的自我)
这并不是说她变成了一个新的人,这更像是她发现了
一个她以前不知道的真实的自我。她真的很喜欢新
发现的自己。我也是。
③(2023·湖北三校联考三模)It was a blessing that
I was surrounded by kids who had a dream,who
refused to give up,who taught me never to doubt
the possibility of success for any student ever
again.(心怀梦想,永不放弃,坚信成功)
幸运的是,我周围的孩子们都有梦想,他们拒绝放弃,他
们教会我永远不要再怀疑任何学生成功的可能性。
④(2023·江苏统考二模)He asked for help,for a lift to get
home,and in good faith I gave them to him.That’s got
to be a good thing.(助人为乐)
他请求帮助,要求搭车回家,我真诚地让他搭了车。这肯定是件
好事。
⑤(2023·南京师大附中一模)That day,Joyce learnt the
biggest lesson of his life:It is always better to work
as a team rather than working alone.(团队合作的重要性)
那一天,乔伊斯学到了他人生中最重要的一课:团队合作总比单
打独斗要好。
首尾呼应法
①(2023·杭州二模)开头:I told Danny it was my turn to
play,be good,and be quiet when I play,and I’ll come
back to you when I’m done.
我告诉丹尼,轮到我演奏了,我演奏的时候要乖,要安静,我演奏
完就回来找你。
结尾:When I finished,there was thunderous applause and
I picked up my little Danny to thank the audience and
waved off the stage.
当我结束时,台下响起雷鸣般的掌声,我抱起我的小丹尼感谢观
众,挥手离开舞台。
②(2023·浙江绍兴二模)开头:My friends kept right
on climbing but they did not forget me.Someone
was always behind me to help hold my feet
steady when necessary,while someone else was
ahead to offer a hand up.
我的朋友们继续攀爬,但他们没有忘记我。总有人在我
后面,必要时帮我稳住脚,而另一些人在前面伸出手来。
结尾:I could feel all the fear draining out of me.I never felt so alive,and so thankful for my friends and that life.
我能感觉到所有的恐惧从我身上消失了。我从未感到如此有活力,也从未如此感激我的朋友和那样的生活。
会用会仿,打造专属语料库
读后续写所选材料通常是故事情节较强的记叙文。高分作文,不仅要求学生续写的情节合理,更要求学生有较强的语言表达能力。日常写作中,学生所写作文由于存在写人记事过于笼统、内容单调空洞、缺乏细节描写等问题,难以给人留下深刻的印象。而成功的细节描写不仅能给人以画面感,更能使写人记事生动传神,令人难忘。
1.心理描写
(1)开心激动
①in cheerful spirits心情愉快
②brighten sb’s heart使某人心情愉快
③indescribably wild joy难以形容的喜悦
④on the top of the world心满意足,非常幸福
⑤tears of happiness flowing down流下幸福的泪水
⑥can hardly conceal his excitement几乎无法掩饰他的激动
⑦feel a mixture of excitement and happiness感觉既兴奋又开心
⑧a satisfied look/an encouraging expression appeared on her face一个满意的表情/一个令人鼓舞的表情出现在她的脸上
⑨He was overwhelmingly thrilled at the fact that he overcame the fear of being laughed at by others.
(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)
他非常激动,因为他克服了怕被别人嘲笑的恐惧。
⑩Dad said we would go camping next week,his eyes glittering/twinkling with excitement.
爸爸说我们下星期去露营,他的眼中闪烁着兴奋的光芒。
(2)伤心忧郁
①sob / weep with one’s face hidden in one’s hands掩面啜泣
②great sorrow clouds sb’s eyes满眼忧伤
③a strong sense of loss强烈的失落感
④make one’s heart bleed使某人悲痛
⑤be overcome with grief悲痛欲绝
⑥hang/drop/lower/bend/bow one’s head in sadness伤心地低下头
⑦tears roll/run/stream/flow down sb’s cheeks 或 tears well up悲伤不已
⑧a flash of grief came upon sb感到一阵悲伤
⑨Upon hearing the bad news,her heart ached,tears streaming down her cheeks.
一听到这个坏消息,她心痛得眼泪直流。
⑩The news cast a cloud of gloom over his face.
这个消息让他脸上蒙上了一层阴影。
(3)生气愤怒
①lose one’s temper发脾气
②arouse one’s displeasure引起某人的不快
③be seized by anger充满愤怒
④hit the ceiling/roof勃然大怒
⑤flame with anger气得满脸通红
⑥get/be mad/cross with sb对某人勃然大怒
⑦express/voice a complaint about对……表示不满
⑧run out of the room in a burst of anger怒气冲冲地跑出房间
⑨His face clouded with anger.
他气得脸色阴沉。
⑩Sheldon felt so angry that he stormed out of the room,slamming the door furiously behind him.
谢尔顿感到非常生气,他冲出房间,狠狠摔门。
(4)害怕惊讶
①full of horror/struck with horror 充满恐惧
②be seized with panic 惊慌失措
③turn pale 变得苍白
④tremble from head to toe全身颤抖
⑤look at her in astonishment 惊讶地看着她
⑥choke with fear因为害怕而哽咽
⑦heart beats violently心跳得厉害
⑧Fear slowly creeps upon her.
恐惧慢慢地在她身上蔓延。
⑨A flood of fear welled up in him./Fear flooded over him.
他心中涌起一阵恐惧。
⑩She shook all over,feeling like sitting on pins and needles.
她浑身颤抖,感觉如坐针毡。
2.动作描写
(1)上肢动作
双臂交叉 with arms crossed 臂挽臂 arm in arm
拥抱 hug/hold/embrace sb in one’s arms 抓住某人的胳膊 catch/grab/hold one’s arm
抱住某人 put/throw one’s arms around sb 拉某人进怀 pull sb into one’s arms
张开双臂 hold out/open one’s arms 拍某人的 肩膀 tap/pat sb on the shoulder
耸耸肩 shrug one’s shoulders 用手接电话 cup one’s hand over the phone
(2)嘴部动作
打哈欠 hide one’s yawn 目瞪口呆 Open-mouthed
捂住嘴 cover one’s mouth 忍住话 bite one’s lip
保守秘密 keep one’s mouth shut 某人惊得目瞪口呆 one’s mouth falls open
擦嘴 wipe one’s mouth 咧开嘴笑 grin with delight
低声地 in a whisper/ in whispers 以亲切/微弱/响亮/坚定/刺耳/甜美/悦耳/低沉/安慰的声音 in a kind / weak / loud/ firm/ sharp/
sweet/musical/low / comforting voice
(3)眼部动作
凝视/怒视/扫视/盯着看/仔细看 gaze/glare/glance/stare/peer at 偷看 take a peek at=
steal a glance at
瞥一眼 catch a glimpse of 抬眼看去 raise one’s
eyes
对某人翻白眼 roll one’s eyes at 目光转向 turn one’s eyes on
看见 catch sight of 紧闭双眼 squeeze one’s
eyes shut
直视 look sb straight in the eyes 避免和某人进行眼神 交流 avoid eye contact with sb
(4)头部动作
低头 bend/bow/hang/drop/lower/one’s head 双手抱头 put/hold
one’s head
in one’s
hands
用枕头捂住头 bury one’s head in the pillow 把头靠在某人肩膀上 rest one’s
head on
one’s
shoulder
耷拉着头 droop one’s head 挠了挠头 scratch one’s
head
探出头 poke one’s head out 摇头 shake one’s
head
点头同意 nod one’s head 清醒一下头脑 clear one’s
head
(5)腿部动作
跳起来 jump/spring to one’s feet 摇摇晃晃站起身来 stagger to one’s feet
站起来 rise to one’s feet 跺脚 tap/stamp one’s feet
闲逛 hang round/ about 快速跑开 run quickly/
swiftly
爬进帐篷 creep into one’s tent 站在原地 不动 stand rooted to the spot
像风一样奔跑 rush/dash/ run like the wind 蹑手蹑脚地上楼 creep/sneak up the stairs
蹑手蹑脚 on tiptoe 上蹿下跳 bounce up and down
用疲惫/颤抖的双腿 on tired/ shaky legs 瘫坐 sink/collapse into one’s
seat
3.场景描写
(1)美好景色
①the songs of birds 鸟鸣
②the setting/rising sun 落日/冉冉升起的太阳
③the fragile flowers 娇嫩的花
④the fragrant roses 芳香的玫瑰
⑤The hills are bathed in the sunshine and river glitters.
山丘沐浴在阳光下,河面波光粼粼。
⑥What amazed me most was that thick clouds enveloped the mountainsides.
最让我吃惊的是,厚厚的云层笼罩着山腰。
⑦Mist-covered mountains were dotted with small farms and villages.
雾蒙蒙的山上星星点点地散落着小农场和村庄。
⑧Bathed in the golden sunlight,the sea rippled and sparkled charmingly.
大海沐浴在金色的阳光下,荡漾着迷人的波光。
⑨Deep in the night,villages,woods and clear pools are as quiet as ink paintings.
夜深了,村庄、树林、清潭静得如水墨画一般。
⑩The scenery along the journey is just like a breathtaking landscape painting.
沿路的风景就像一幅美丽的山水画。
(2)恶劣天气
①the thundering clouds 电闪雷鸣
②burdened with lumps of dark clouds 乌云密布
③Immediately,an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
顷刻间,黑暗统治了森林。
④The needle-cold wind pierced his face.
寒风如针,刺着他的脸。
⑤It suddenly seemed frighteningly quiet.The air was charged with tension.
突然安静得可怕,空气中弥漫着紧张的气氛。
⑥The whole city fell into a deep sleep,covered by darkness in silence.
整座城市陷入了沉睡,在一片寂静中被黑暗笼罩着。
⑦Outside,the winds blew the trees and beat against the houses,which made people unable to open their eyes.
外面,风吹着树,拍打着房子,使人们无法睁开眼睛。
⑧The ice wind started howling,cutting my face like a sharp knife.
寒风开始咆哮,像锋利的刀子一样刮在我的脸上。
4.人物描写
(1)外貌体型
①a graceful figure 优美的身段
②a skinny/slim figure 消瘦/苗条的身材
③a well-developed figure 发育良好的身材
④have a good figure (人)身材很好
⑤an average/a well-built figure 中等/魁梧的身材
⑥His eyes are deep-set because he has worked till midnight for a long time.
他的眼睛深陷,因为他这段时间经常工作到午夜。
⑦When she smiled,she showed her white even teeth.
她微微一笑,露出了洁白整齐的牙齿。
⑧She has a very pleasant smile and she always has a twinkle in her eyes.When she works,she always puts on her glasses.
她时常灿烂地微笑,两只大眼睛总是闪闪发光。她工作的时候,总是戴着眼镜。
⑨While her physical beauty was astounding,it was her invisible beauty that I should always remember.
尽管她美得惊人,但我对她的内在美更记忆犹新。
⑩She was young,with a fair,calm face that showed a certain strength.
她年纪轻,满脸的恬静,展现出一种与众不同的力量。
(2)性格特征
①charming 富有魅力的;讨人喜爱的
②armed/equipped with a keen insight into...
对……具有敏锐的洞察力
③a self-possessed person一个沉着冷静的人
④a good-natured man一个性情和善的人
⑤be down-to-earth务实的
⑥an outspoken man一个说话直率的人
⑦highly qualified,well-experienced teaching staff高素质、有经验的老师
⑧a cultured woman一个有教养的女子
⑨He muttered so badly that they couldn’t understand him.
他喃喃自语,以至于他们都没理解他的意思。
⑩Her sense of humour could brighten your entire day and her wise words were always exactly what you needed to hear.
她的幽默感可以让你一整天都感到非常开心,而她智慧的话语总是你恰好需要听到的。
(3)神态表情
①crack a smile 展颜一笑
②one’s face paled with fright 某人吓得脸色苍白
③had a slight frown on one’s face 某人愁眉不展的样子
④his face grew serious 他的表情变得严肃
⑤be down in the dumps 垂头丧气
⑥Jack’s face flushed/burned with embarrassment.
杰克窘迫得满脸通红。
⑦He nodded slowly and smiled with a look of gratitude.
他慢慢地点了下头,带着感激的表情微笑着。
⑧He smiled,his eyes full of laughter.
他露出了笑容,双眼充满笑意。
⑨Color glowed in his face and his strange eyes widened with joyfulness.
他的脸熠熠闪光,奇怪的眼睛因欢乐而大大睁开。
⑩She rode the rest of the way home wearing a Mona Lisa smile of peace and grace.
她带着蒙娜丽莎般平静而优雅的微笑,骑完了剩下的回家路。
