2025届高三英语复习读后续写 3 扩句技巧 展现 强动词 导学案
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| 名称 | 2025届高三英语复习读后续写 3 扩句技巧 展现 强动词 导学案 |  | |
| 格式 | docx | ||
| 文件大小 | 38.2KB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
| 版本资源 | 人教版（2019） | ||
| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2025-02-04 14:43:12 | ||
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英语培优3 学案 扩句技巧（展现、强动词）+培优二跟踪训练讲评
一 展现（感官描写、强动词等）
展现：show, do not tell 表达形象、生动、准确，有画面感
What is tell and show
When you are telling, you’re supplying information by simply stating it陈述. You might report that a character is “tall,” or “angry,” or “cold,” or “tired.”
Showing paints a picture the reader can see in her mind’s eye. Rather than telling that your character is angry, show it by describing his face flushing, his throat tightening, his voice rising, his slamming a fist on the table.
展现的表达手法
描写细节、具体表现
利用感官
尽量不用形容词和be动词、笼统动词
用强动词(stride, exclaim, weep, yell等)
Examples:
I am shocked.
Hearing the unexpected news, I was struck dumb. / I was so shocked that words failed me.
My classmates congratulated me on my success.
My classmates whooped 激动地大叫and clapped their hands enthusiastically.
The little girl was very happy to walk onto the stage to receive her prize.
Hearing the news, she was on top of the world.She screamed in delight and jumped for joy.Striding onto the stage with her head high,she smiled from ear to ear.A wave of pleasure shot through her as she tasted the sweet joy of winning.
My teacher praised me.
My teacher gave me a thumb and said/praised: “Well done!”
I was quite busy on my way to work.
When I was driving through rush hour traffic, my left hand was on the steering wheel, while my right hand was arranging appointments on the cell phone. The next moment I was wrapping a birthday present at the traffic light.
She felt cold.
She pulled her collar up, tightened her scarf, shoved 随便放置，乱放her hands deep into her pockets and turned her face away from the biting wind.
He was tired.
He yawned and stretched his arms. His eyes looked puffy肿胀的. His shoulders slumped耷拉着. /“Didn’t you sleep last night You look shot筋疲力尽的.”, his mother asked.
The old woman on the park bench is sad.
The old woman on the park bench wept quietly.
He cried.
Tears of joy streamed down his cheeks.
My mom is overprotective.
My mom never lets me visit a friend’s house until she’s spoken to their parents first. One time, when she forgot that I was going on a trip with the math team after school, she got so worried, she almost called the police.
Harry was worried that his schoolmates would laugh at his short hair.
Harry spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.
Kate was angry.
Kate banged the table with her clenched fist, her face turning slightly red, screaming “Damn! I can’t believe it!”
Roger was bored.
Roger’s foot was tapping a steady rhythm onto the ground, and later he started doodling乱涂 on a sheet of paper. It seemed to him like the hour would never pass.
The garden is beautiful.
We enjoyed wild red and orange flowers as well as a thick and sweet smell in the garden./ The flowers were in full bloom, their blue and yellow petals bringing the garden to life.
特别提醒：并非展现越多越好，注意详略得当。
Writers often “tell” at the beginning of a story to convey essential information or after a “big reveal” where certain details must be clearly stated. The important thing is balance; as long as you don’t have too much telling or showing, you should be fine.
There’s no need to invest several pages showing every aspect of the trip from packing, dressing, getting a cab to the airport, going through security, boarding the plane, arriving, etc. Rather, it’s okay to you quickly tell it this way:
He flew to Washington, where he…
Then return to showing mode, concentrating on the heart of what happened there.
Eg: The man introduced himself as Mat and then thanked us warmly for coming to his assistance. His battery was dead, and he wondered if we could help him. We did, and soon his big motor roared back to life. Mat and his family were very grateful. We lost an hour of fishing. Being an impatient teenager, I was a bit annoyed at the one-hour loss, but we were soon back out on the reservoir.
二 培优2跟踪训练 审题 + 情境仿写+扩句 讲评
温馨提醒：优秀是一种习惯。平时如考试，考试才能如高考。希望每一位同学都要严格要求自己，珍惜每一次训练的机会，养成精益求精、追求完美的习惯。
书写规范、漂亮的习惯；
确保正确、杜绝低错的习惯；
推敲用词的习惯；
打磨句子的习惯。
可以避免的低错：
Few flowers blossom overnight. I was pleasured pleased that I didn't spend much time accepting my dear sister. —— It did not take long for me to accept my little sister. / I was glad that I was learning to be a big sister.
When she wondered if we could t give her a life lift we agreed without think thinking twice . —— She wondered if we could give her a lift to the station and we agreed without thinking twice. / without hesitation / immediately.
I’m delight delighted that it didn’t take me too much time to make the envy given the way to love. —— to accept my little sister and began to learn to be a big sister.
If there is no one come coming to save us, what should we do Will our boat turned be turned over by the waves
I came to accept my father's mantra and was determined to devote myself to helping others as possible as I could as much as possible/ as much as I could, which meant helping myself.——believing the favour I give would come back to me whenever I need it.
审题、内容构建
温馨提醒：内容构建很关键，务必用心做到：
提问题（推动情节发展、环环相扣）+简单回答
Passage4金丝雀之歌
审主题：助人类，人与人之间的互相关爱。
审题思路、语言优化 特别提醒：问题是故事的骨架, 问题设计要推动情节发展
1）However, that night I kept thinking about my canary and Mrs. Riley.
Question 1: What was my thought I thought that I'd better to work for Mrs. Riley without pay. 没有回扣my canary ; 此处宜用展现手法：我的具体想法、我辗转反侧，纠结矛盾
Question 2: What did I do the next day I took care of Mrs Riley as usual. I went to Mrs. Riley and told her my decision to continue to work for her for free. 要写我思考的结果
Question 3: Why did I came to Mrs.Riley Because she is alone. Mrs. Riley’s response She was delighted and a little upset.
The last sentence of paragraph 1: I finally decided to work for Mrs. Riley without any pay.与after one week 衔接不紧密
After one week, she said, "I've been thinking, girl, since I can't pay you, I'll-I'll give you Sam."
Question4: Who is she Mrs. Riley. 不推动情节发展（代词代替上文长出现的名词）
Question5: Why she give me Sam she knew I wanted to have a canary. 上文已有交代
Question6:What's my feeling about it My response Surprised, grateful.
问题4，5都不是骨架，可以直接衔接问题6
A proper ending: Finally, I kept / accepted Sam and it always reminds me of Mrs.Riley.
Time passed, hardly did I thought this cozy experience When I saw this dreamed canary. 多年以后，我一看到这只我梦寐以求的金丝雀我就会想到这次愉快的经历。
注意：Hardly---- when 意为：刚 --- 就---
Eg: Hardly had the words flowed from his trembling lips when I dropped my jaw. Father was genuinely the Santa Claus!
Hardly had I stepped into the room when they shouted with one voice, “Surprise!”
优化：For the several following years, the canary Mrs Riley presented me brought me endless joy, reminding me of the unforgettable time we had spent together.
3）What's the ending A proper ending. Mrs.Riley became my memory forever. I will never forget Mrs. Riley. I got through any trouble with the Sam symbolizing her belief. 主题不是成长类
审题示范：
However, that night I kept thinking about my canary and Mrs. Riley.
Question 1：My thoughts about my canary My thoughts about Mrs. Riley
I could no longer earn money from Mrs. Riley to buy a canary of my own.
She was ill in bed with no one caring about her. She was lonely and helpless.
Question 2：How did I keep thinking Did I fall asleep I thought about it until it was too late. I spent a restless night.
Question 3：My final decision What did I do I decided to continue to work for Mrs. Riley without being paid. I went to Mrs. Riley the next morning and told her my decision.
The last sentence of paragraph 1: Every day I went to Mrs. Riley’s as usual.
After one week, she said, “I've been thinking, girl, since I can't pay you, I'll—I'll give you Sam.”
Question4: My response I was surprised and delighted.
Question5: Did I accept her offer No, because she needed Sam more than me.
A proper ending: I continued to work for Mrs. Riley. / The canary became the bond between us. /I didn’t earn enough money to buy a canary, but I was happy / pleased / satisfied that Mrs. Riley was no longer lonely because of my help. Roses given, fragrance in hand, which was what I experienced in person.
Passage5自行车的故事
主题：助人类（努力的“我”被别人帮助）
审题思路、语言优化
1. 只有问题，没有回答；2. 要抓住主要情节
The door flew open, and Mr. Gordon dragged me inside.
Question 1: Why did Mr. Gordon drag me inside 视角；不能推动故事发展
Question 2: What did they do then
Question 3: What was my feelings What was my response
The last sentence of paragraph 1: They sent gave me a bike and envelopes which contains contained what they wanted to say. 定语从句内容留到第二段写
After walking the bicycle home, I opened those envelopes.
Question 4: How did the bicycle and envelopes come 不衔接
Questions:what was the context in those envelopes What was in the envelopes
Question6: What was my feeling feelings
A proper ending: Every time when I rode the bike to delivery papers, I felt that how how warm-hearted and understanding my neighbourhood neighbours were. 结尾可以是故事的结局，也可以进行升华（是故事与现实连接的纽带，是故事对读者的启迪或意义。点明主旨，升华主题。）拉波夫模式
优化：For a long time that followed, with the help of the new bicycle I delivered more newspapers and helped my family pull through the difficult time with the money I earned. It was the kindness and generosity of the people in my neighbourhood that encouraged and helped the nine-year-old me and has made me what I am today, a man who is tough and full of love.
审题示范
The door flew open, and Mr. Gordon dragged me inside.
Question 1: Who else was inside What did I see
All my customers were inside. There was also a new bicycle with a bag full of envelopes hanging on the handlebar of it.
伏笔 Even though the lights were on, nobody answered, so I went on to the next house. No answer, nor did anyone respond at the next family on my route, or the one after.
下文After walking the bicycle home, I opened those envelopes.
Question2: What did Mr. Gordon and other people say and do
The presented me with the new bicycle and the bag and thanked me for my good service.
伏笔It took me longer to make my deliveries by cart, but I didn’t mind. I sent each paper to its proper destination. In rain or snow, I put Dad’s old raincoat over the cart to keep the papers dry. I got to meet everyone in the neighborhood — working-class people of Italian, German or Polish origins who were invariably kind to me.
Question 3: My reaction
Shocked but grateful.
The last sentence of para1: I waved them goodbye with the new bicycle and envelopes.
After walking the bicycle home, I opened those envelopes.
Question 4: What was inside the envelopes The fee of the newspapers, some extra money and some notes.
伏笔I needed to earn some money.
伏笔I had to pay for my papers every Friday
Question5: My feelings: Moved.
Question6: What happened later Mr. Miceli taught me how to ride the bicycle.故事山模型（解决问题）
伏笔When Dad returned from the hospital, he was too weak to resume his original job.
伏笔he（my father） fell ill and couldn’t teach me to ride.
伏笔When Dad returned from the hospital, he was too weak to resume his original job.
伏笔Mr. Miceli must have known I wasn’t using a bike, but he said nothing about it to me.
A proper ending:
With the new bicycle, I could send newspapers much faster. I was offered another route. I still used Mom’s two-wheeled shopping cart when it rained or snowed. Looking back on it now, I am grateful that the kindness of the Chicago neighbourhood has stuck in my heart and made me what I am today.
情境仿写
1.Passage1：
Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play, where I played all the parts. so----that 结构引导结果状语从句。
情境仿写1：我的同学们为我感到非常自豪，雷鸣般的掌声(thunderous applause)在他们中爆发(burst out)。（如此自豪以至于爆发了雷鸣般的掌声）
情境仿写1：My classmates were so proud of me that thunderous applause burst out among them.
Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try. 用分词交代采取行动的原因
情境仿写2-1：因为想到了刚刚发生的事，我立刻请求父亲停车。
情境仿写2-1: Thinking of what had happened moments before, I immediately asked my father to pull aside.
情境仿写2-2：受这个经历的鼓舞，我爱上了写作，而且我已经出版了几本书。
情境仿写2-2：Thinking of what had just happened , I immediately asked my father to pull up alongside.
My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth. Not a brilliant idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice. 省略（上下文衔接手段之一）
情境仿写3：我们别无选择只好再次试图发动机器，但是徒劳无功。
情境仿写3：We had no choice but to try to start the engine again, but in vain.
What did the horse think, as he sped through the night Did he get tired Have doubts Did he want to quit I sympathized immediately. I got tired. I had doubts. I wanted to quit. But, like Revere’s horse, I kept going. I worked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my older sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them
连串问句表示质疑、怀疑、担心、自我否定等情感。
连串短句（排比）表示拼搏努力的过程。
情境仿写4：随着每一次不成功的尝试，我们越来越沮丧。如果没有人经过来救我们怎么办？我们的船会不会被海浪打翻？
情境仿写4：With each unsuccessful attempt, we were getting more and more frustrated. What if no one would happened to pass by and come to our rescue Would our boat be turned over by the violent waves
短语：
If you’re willing to apply yourself勤奋工作；努力学习, I think you have a good shot at尝试 this.
When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to 让位给（情绪转变）the enjoyment of writing.
情境仿写5：我轻轻地把花环绕wind在妹妹的摇篮提手handle上，之前的嫉妒被爱代替了。
情境仿写5：I gently wound the flower chains around the handle of the baby basket. The former envy of mine surprisingly gave way to my affection for my little sister.
Passage 2:
He was a firm believer in the mantra (箴言)： What goes around comes around. 善有善报He believed that someday he might need help, and someone would return the favor. 谚语
情境仿写6 (结尾运用)：很多年过去了，但因为父亲的箴言一直被我铭记于心，我总是愿意帮助任何有困难的人，坚信善有善报。
情境仿写6：Many years has passed, but with my father’s mantra sticking in my mind, I am always willing to reach out to anyone in need, firmly believing what goes around does come around.
The man introduced himself as Mat and then thanked us warmly for coming to his assistance. His battery was dead, and he wondered if we could help him. 避开直接引语We did, and soon his big motor roared back to life. 详略得当（怎么施救不是交代的重点）Mat and his family were very grateful.
情境仿写7：那位老妇人很感激我们停车帮助她。她想知道我们能否让她搭车去车站。尽管不顺路，我们还是答应了。
情境仿写7：The old lady were very grateful that we stopped to help her. She wondered if she could give her a lift to the railway station. We agreed though it was not on our way home.
短语
But I didn’t quite buy it.相信（尤指不大可能的事）
As a matter of fact, it was terrible, so we decided to call it quits 叫停and go back to the marina.
The waves were kicking up越来越强；逐渐加强, and suddenly our engine decided to quit.决定停止（拟人）
情境仿写8：快到傍晚时，风越来越大，但孩子们脸上的快乐使这次“冒险”很值得。
情境仿写8：Towards evening, the wind kicked up and I still had several letters to deliver but the happiness / smiles on the children’s faces made the adventure worthwhile.
Passage3
We arrived at the shop, a wave of colour and sweet smell washing over(情绪等) 冲击 me. 分词独立主格结构做伴随状语
We yelled for help at the top of our lungs, a wave of fright washing over us.
I used to love this, but today I was so overcome with tiredness and envy.
sb. be overcome/overwhelmed with/by + 情绪/感觉 被---所困扰，影响
“But you and Mum seem so close,” I said, guiltily hiding away my envy of Rosa. 掩饰
“Now we are. But it took me years to grow into the role of big sister. Few flowers blossom (绽放) overnight, you know.”谚语
类似表达：On Dad's final day of work, it took him well into the evening to complete his rounds because at least one member from each family was waiting at their mailbox to appreciate him for his friendship and his years of service.
情境仿写12：（结尾化用）没有花儿在一夜之间开放，我很高兴我没有花太长时间接受了我亲情境仿写12：Few flowers blossom (绽放) overnight and I was glad that it had not taken too long for me to accept my dear sister.
It was like gathering my childhood memories. 比喻
情境仿写13：走在熟悉的路上就像是在收集我童年的回忆。我记得我曾经是多么兴奋去和父亲一起递送邮件和快乐。
情境仿写13：Wandering on the familiar country roads was like gathering my childhood memories. I remembered how excited I had been about going with my father to deliver mails and happiness.
Passage 4：
He once lectured me that to bring everyone plain pleasure was his greatest pleasure, which has clung to （一直记得）me so far.
情境仿写14：善良真的有回报，这是我亲身体验到的，而且是从那以后我一直铭记的。
情境仿写14：What goes around really comes around, which was what I experienced in person and has clung to me ever since.
With a heavy heart心情沉重地,I traveled back to my hometown on the sad occasion of Dad's death.
with a light heart 轻松愉快地
Mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table when I heard footsteps. There, at the door, stood Frank Townsend, Dad's postmaster and great friend for many years.倒装句使衔接更紧密
类似表达：Behind her shop was a field dotted with spring flowers.
情境仿写16：静静地躺在信箱里的是来自热切盼望他们地圣诞愿望实现地孩子们的信。
情境仿写16：There lying quietly in the mailbox were letters from children eagerly waiting for their Christmas wishes to come true.
Threads of silver ran through his beard and the hair. Obviously, time ploughed deep wrinkles on his brow. 描写白发、皱纹等
扩句训练
姐姐的成长
Suddenly I saw two familiar figures walking towards me.
Q1. The two familiar figures were my parents. They suggested having a picnic there.
Q2. My responses. I greeted the suggestion with a jump.
As they approached a few steps closer, I made out they were my parents with my mother carrying my baby sister in her baby basket. They suggested having a picnic there, at which I jumped with joy. Q3. Q3. We were in the field with spring flowers. What happened later (to draw me closer to my parents and little sister) We made flower chains and joked with each other as before.
While mother was preparing the picnic and Rosa was asleep in her baby basket, my father and I began picking flowers and making flowers chains. We played with the flower chains and named each other the silliest titles. Everything was the same as before.
Q4: last sentence: Rosa cried. / I approached the baby basket.
Then I heard a baby cry and I immediately rushed to Rosa’s baby basket.
Rosa was wide awake in her baby basket beside the picnic blanket.
Q4. Describe Rosa. Cute. How
She was crying with her arms waving and her legs kicking. On seeing me, she immediately stopped crying and tried to hold my finger, grinning from ear to ear, which melted my heart.
She looked around with her tiny eyes curiously, putting her little fingers in her mouth as if tasting something sweet.
Q5. The shift of my feelings for her. I no longer envy her.
All my former envy of her gave way to my love and affection for her. It felt not bad to have a little sister!
give way to 被---替代
Anger gave way to fear when it struck me that it could happen again.
The last houses give way to soybean fields.
Q6. What did I do I wound the flower chain around the handle of her baby basket.
Gently I wound the flower chain around the handle of her baby to decorate it.
A proper ending. The solution of the problem.I finally grew into the role of a big sister. Describe the scene of the family having a picnic in the sun.
I suddenly understood what my aunt said to me before. Yes, this time I have made up my mind to learn to be a big sister. Welcome to my new life, Rosa, my sister.
With the four of us enveloped in the fragrance of the flowers and the warm sunshine, I knew I had fully accepted Rosa as one of the closest family members and I was willing to share everything with her.
水库遇困
Para1: We tried to get it running, but it simply wouldn’t start.
Q1.What did we do Our feelings. We tried to start the engine again, but were unsuccessful. we were frustrated/ frightened. We tried to ask for help.
With each unsuccessful attempt, our frustration mounted. The once-reliable engine now lay silent, leaving us adrift helplessly on the vast reservoir.
We tried to get it running, but it simply wouldn’t start. With no one to turn to for help, we were totally at a loss.
Overwhelmed by a sense of despair, we yelled at the top of our lungs, hoping to attract the attention of someone passing by.
Q2.Who came to help us How Mat. We secured our boat to his yacht and were pulled to the marina.
After what seemed like centuries, a beautiful yacht came to our sight.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Mat pulled up alongside us and asked if he could be of assistance.
Suddenly, I spotted a beautiful big yacht coming towards us and recognized it was the yacht of Mat. The next moment Mat was securing our boat to his and we were returning to the Sheep Creek Marina.
Q3.Our feelings We were very thankful. I felt amazed.
Mixed feelings surged through me as I stood there watching what was happening. What a coincidence it was that out of so many people there it was Mat who happened to pass and come to our rescue!
His friendly smile reassured us almost immediately, easing our worry. I was amazed that of all the people on the reservoir, Mat would be the person to show up to give us aid.
Q4.We went back to Sheep Creek Marina and were ready to drive back home.
Gratefully accepting his kind offer, we secured our boat to his. Chatting and laughing all the way, we returned to the marina safe and sound and were ready for home.
Sent back to the marina safe and sound, we breathed a sigh of relief and sincerely expressed our gratitude to the Mat family. We went to our car and started our journey home.
Para2: On our way home, I saw an old lady waving at our car by the roadside.
Q5.What is the matter with her What did we do I asked my father to stop and asked her what was the matter. She asked for a lift to the station.
Obviously, she was in need of help.Without thinking twice/ Without hesitation, I asked my father to pull over beside her, which my father did immediately.
Scenes of what had happened crowding into my mind, I immediately asked my father to pull up alongside.
My father gave me a thumb up with pride written on his face.
She wondered if we could give her a lift to the station. We agreed although it was not on our way home./ We agreed although it meant we had to drive several extra miles.
As we approached the lady, her face lit up with a glimmer of hope. She explained that her car had broken down, leaving her trapped on the way. We assured her that we would help.
The lady told us that there was something wrong with her car and she needed a lift to the nearest garage. / she needed someone to help her change one of her tyres. It took my father nearly an hour to finish changing the flat tyre. Meanwhile I waited patiently and chatted with the old lady.
Q6. Did her problem solved We drove her to the station and she was very thankful.
We drove her to the station and she thanked us sincerely.
As the engine roared back to life, the old lady’s gratitude overflowed.
As the engine was restarted successfully, she was so grateful that she offered us some money, which we refused.
Q7. My feelings. / A proper ending. I accepted my father’s mantra. I am willing to help others in need, believing______
As we waved the grateful lady goodbye, my heart swelled with a newfound understanding of my father’s mantra. What goes around really comes around. I finally had a chance to witness my father’s mantra in action and follow in his footsteps.
Many years has passed, but with my father’s mantra sticking in my mind, I will always reach out to anyone in need, firmly believing what goes around does come around.
三 培优2跟踪训练 句子优化
We had no chance except trying but / except to try to start it again,but failed.
Few flowers blossom overnight, I and I was delighted that I didn't spend much time acquiring my sister.it didn’t take too long a time for me to accept my sister.
With hands fingers in her mouth, Rosa kept hers eyes on me and expressed warm smile to me. fixed her eyes on me, smiling / grinning from ear to ear.
I asked my father to stop as soon as I saw an old lady waving at our car by the roadside immediately.
Trapped in trouble she would appreciate it if we can give her a lift. She explained that she needed to go to the station and asked to take a lift. We gladly offered help, for which she was very grateful.
What would happen if nobody passed would pass by to help us Will Would our boat be overturned by the waves
If What if there was no people no one passing pass by No one giving us a hand and give us a hand Whether our boat was going to be turned around by the waves
So thankful we were were we that words failed us. I felt badly amazed to witness my father's mantra came true answered.
Under the spring sun Bathed in the sun, sitting on the field full of shining yellow flowers, we enjoyed delicious food and happiness covered us happily.
Being encouraged Encouraged by this experience, I fell in love with writing and I have had quite a lot of works published.
With the sunshine applied to her pink soft face, I had a real excited feeling and carefully observed my cute sister for the first time. Her rosy cheeks, watery eyes and innocent smile melted my heart.
一 展现（感官描写、强动词等）
展现：show, do not tell 表达形象、生动、准确，有画面感
What is tell and show
When you are telling, you’re supplying information by simply stating it陈述. You might report that a character is “tall,” or “angry,” or “cold,” or “tired.”
Showing paints a picture the reader can see in her mind’s eye. Rather than telling that your character is angry, show it by describing his face flushing, his throat tightening, his voice rising, his slamming a fist on the table.
展现的表达手法
描写细节、具体表现
利用感官
尽量不用形容词和be动词、笼统动词
用强动词(stride, exclaim, weep, yell等)
Examples:
I am shocked.
Hearing the unexpected news, I was struck dumb. / I was so shocked that words failed me.
My classmates congratulated me on my success.
My classmates whooped 激动地大叫and clapped their hands enthusiastically.
The little girl was very happy to walk onto the stage to receive her prize.
Hearing the news, she was on top of the world.She screamed in delight and jumped for joy.Striding onto the stage with her head high,she smiled from ear to ear.A wave of pleasure shot through her as she tasted the sweet joy of winning.
My teacher praised me.
My teacher gave me a thumb and said/praised: “Well done!”
I was quite busy on my way to work.
When I was driving through rush hour traffic, my left hand was on the steering wheel, while my right hand was arranging appointments on the cell phone. The next moment I was wrapping a birthday present at the traffic light.
She felt cold.
She pulled her collar up, tightened her scarf, shoved 随便放置，乱放her hands deep into her pockets and turned her face away from the biting wind.
He was tired.
He yawned and stretched his arms. His eyes looked puffy肿胀的. His shoulders slumped耷拉着. /“Didn’t you sleep last night You look shot筋疲力尽的.”, his mother asked.
The old woman on the park bench is sad.
The old woman on the park bench wept quietly.
He cried.
Tears of joy streamed down his cheeks.
My mom is overprotective.
My mom never lets me visit a friend’s house until she’s spoken to their parents first. One time, when she forgot that I was going on a trip with the math team after school, she got so worried, she almost called the police.
Harry was worried that his schoolmates would laugh at his short hair.
Harry spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.
Kate was angry.
Kate banged the table with her clenched fist, her face turning slightly red, screaming “Damn! I can’t believe it!”
Roger was bored.
Roger’s foot was tapping a steady rhythm onto the ground, and later he started doodling乱涂 on a sheet of paper. It seemed to him like the hour would never pass.
The garden is beautiful.
We enjoyed wild red and orange flowers as well as a thick and sweet smell in the garden./ The flowers were in full bloom, their blue and yellow petals bringing the garden to life.
特别提醒：并非展现越多越好，注意详略得当。
Writers often “tell” at the beginning of a story to convey essential information or after a “big reveal” where certain details must be clearly stated. The important thing is balance; as long as you don’t have too much telling or showing, you should be fine.
There’s no need to invest several pages showing every aspect of the trip from packing, dressing, getting a cab to the airport, going through security, boarding the plane, arriving, etc. Rather, it’s okay to you quickly tell it this way:
He flew to Washington, where he…
Then return to showing mode, concentrating on the heart of what happened there.
Eg: The man introduced himself as Mat and then thanked us warmly for coming to his assistance. His battery was dead, and he wondered if we could help him. We did, and soon his big motor roared back to life. Mat and his family were very grateful. We lost an hour of fishing. Being an impatient teenager, I was a bit annoyed at the one-hour loss, but we were soon back out on the reservoir.
二 培优2跟踪训练 审题 + 情境仿写+扩句 讲评
温馨提醒：优秀是一种习惯。平时如考试，考试才能如高考。希望每一位同学都要严格要求自己，珍惜每一次训练的机会，养成精益求精、追求完美的习惯。
书写规范、漂亮的习惯；
确保正确、杜绝低错的习惯；
推敲用词的习惯；
打磨句子的习惯。
可以避免的低错：
Few flowers blossom overnight. I was pleasured pleased that I didn't spend much time accepting my dear sister. —— It did not take long for me to accept my little sister. / I was glad that I was learning to be a big sister.
When she wondered if we could t give her a life lift we agreed without think thinking twice . —— She wondered if we could give her a lift to the station and we agreed without thinking twice. / without hesitation / immediately.
I’m delight delighted that it didn’t take me too much time to make the envy given the way to love. —— to accept my little sister and began to learn to be a big sister.
If there is no one come coming to save us, what should we do Will our boat turned be turned over by the waves
I came to accept my father's mantra and was determined to devote myself to helping others as possible as I could as much as possible/ as much as I could, which meant helping myself.——believing the favour I give would come back to me whenever I need it.
审题、内容构建
温馨提醒：内容构建很关键，务必用心做到：
提问题（推动情节发展、环环相扣）+简单回答
Passage4金丝雀之歌
审主题：助人类，人与人之间的互相关爱。
审题思路、语言优化 特别提醒：问题是故事的骨架, 问题设计要推动情节发展
1）However, that night I kept thinking about my canary and Mrs. Riley.
Question 1: What was my thought I thought that I'd better to work for Mrs. Riley without pay. 没有回扣my canary ; 此处宜用展现手法：我的具体想法、我辗转反侧，纠结矛盾
Question 2: What did I do the next day I took care of Mrs Riley as usual. I went to Mrs. Riley and told her my decision to continue to work for her for free. 要写我思考的结果
Question 3: Why did I came to Mrs.Riley Because she is alone. Mrs. Riley’s response She was delighted and a little upset.
The last sentence of paragraph 1: I finally decided to work for Mrs. Riley without any pay.与after one week 衔接不紧密
After one week, she said, "I've been thinking, girl, since I can't pay you, I'll-I'll give you Sam."
Question4: Who is she Mrs. Riley. 不推动情节发展（代词代替上文长出现的名词）
Question5: Why she give me Sam she knew I wanted to have a canary. 上文已有交代
Question6:What's my feeling about it My response Surprised, grateful.
问题4，5都不是骨架，可以直接衔接问题6
A proper ending: Finally, I kept / accepted Sam and it always reminds me of Mrs.Riley.
Time passed, hardly did I thought this cozy experience When I saw this dreamed canary. 多年以后，我一看到这只我梦寐以求的金丝雀我就会想到这次愉快的经历。
注意：Hardly---- when 意为：刚 --- 就---
Eg: Hardly had the words flowed from his trembling lips when I dropped my jaw. Father was genuinely the Santa Claus!
Hardly had I stepped into the room when they shouted with one voice, “Surprise!”
优化：For the several following years, the canary Mrs Riley presented me brought me endless joy, reminding me of the unforgettable time we had spent together.
3）What's the ending A proper ending. Mrs.Riley became my memory forever. I will never forget Mrs. Riley. I got through any trouble with the Sam symbolizing her belief. 主题不是成长类
审题示范：
However, that night I kept thinking about my canary and Mrs. Riley.
Question 1：My thoughts about my canary My thoughts about Mrs. Riley
I could no longer earn money from Mrs. Riley to buy a canary of my own.
She was ill in bed with no one caring about her. She was lonely and helpless.
Question 2：How did I keep thinking Did I fall asleep I thought about it until it was too late. I spent a restless night.
Question 3：My final decision What did I do I decided to continue to work for Mrs. Riley without being paid. I went to Mrs. Riley the next morning and told her my decision.
The last sentence of paragraph 1: Every day I went to Mrs. Riley’s as usual.
After one week, she said, “I've been thinking, girl, since I can't pay you, I'll—I'll give you Sam.”
Question4: My response I was surprised and delighted.
Question5: Did I accept her offer No, because she needed Sam more than me.
A proper ending: I continued to work for Mrs. Riley. / The canary became the bond between us. /I didn’t earn enough money to buy a canary, but I was happy / pleased / satisfied that Mrs. Riley was no longer lonely because of my help. Roses given, fragrance in hand, which was what I experienced in person.
Passage5自行车的故事
主题：助人类（努力的“我”被别人帮助）
审题思路、语言优化
1. 只有问题，没有回答；2. 要抓住主要情节
The door flew open, and Mr. Gordon dragged me inside.
Question 1: Why did Mr. Gordon drag me inside 视角；不能推动故事发展
Question 2: What did they do then
Question 3: What was my feelings What was my response
The last sentence of paragraph 1: They sent gave me a bike and envelopes which contains contained what they wanted to say. 定语从句内容留到第二段写
After walking the bicycle home, I opened those envelopes.
Question 4: How did the bicycle and envelopes come 不衔接
Questions:what was the context in those envelopes What was in the envelopes
Question6: What was my feeling feelings
A proper ending: Every time when I rode the bike to delivery papers, I felt that how how warm-hearted and understanding my neighbourhood neighbours were. 结尾可以是故事的结局，也可以进行升华（是故事与现实连接的纽带，是故事对读者的启迪或意义。点明主旨，升华主题。）拉波夫模式
优化：For a long time that followed, with the help of the new bicycle I delivered more newspapers and helped my family pull through the difficult time with the money I earned. It was the kindness and generosity of the people in my neighbourhood that encouraged and helped the nine-year-old me and has made me what I am today, a man who is tough and full of love.
审题示范
The door flew open, and Mr. Gordon dragged me inside.
Question 1: Who else was inside What did I see
All my customers were inside. There was also a new bicycle with a bag full of envelopes hanging on the handlebar of it.
伏笔 Even though the lights were on, nobody answered, so I went on to the next house. No answer, nor did anyone respond at the next family on my route, or the one after.
下文After walking the bicycle home, I opened those envelopes.
Question2: What did Mr. Gordon and other people say and do
The presented me with the new bicycle and the bag and thanked me for my good service.
伏笔It took me longer to make my deliveries by cart, but I didn’t mind. I sent each paper to its proper destination. In rain or snow, I put Dad’s old raincoat over the cart to keep the papers dry. I got to meet everyone in the neighborhood — working-class people of Italian, German or Polish origins who were invariably kind to me.
Question 3: My reaction
Shocked but grateful.
The last sentence of para1: I waved them goodbye with the new bicycle and envelopes.
After walking the bicycle home, I opened those envelopes.
Question 4: What was inside the envelopes The fee of the newspapers, some extra money and some notes.
伏笔I needed to earn some money.
伏笔I had to pay for my papers every Friday
Question5: My feelings: Moved.
Question6: What happened later Mr. Miceli taught me how to ride the bicycle.故事山模型（解决问题）
伏笔When Dad returned from the hospital, he was too weak to resume his original job.
伏笔he（my father） fell ill and couldn’t teach me to ride.
伏笔When Dad returned from the hospital, he was too weak to resume his original job.
伏笔Mr. Miceli must have known I wasn’t using a bike, but he said nothing about it to me.
A proper ending:
With the new bicycle, I could send newspapers much faster. I was offered another route. I still used Mom’s two-wheeled shopping cart when it rained or snowed. Looking back on it now, I am grateful that the kindness of the Chicago neighbourhood has stuck in my heart and made me what I am today.
情境仿写
1.Passage1：
Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play, where I played all the parts. so----that 结构引导结果状语从句。
情境仿写1：我的同学们为我感到非常自豪，雷鸣般的掌声(thunderous applause)在他们中爆发(burst out)。（如此自豪以至于爆发了雷鸣般的掌声）
情境仿写1：My classmates were so proud of me that thunderous applause burst out among them.
Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try. 用分词交代采取行动的原因
情境仿写2-1：因为想到了刚刚发生的事，我立刻请求父亲停车。
情境仿写2-1: Thinking of what had happened moments before, I immediately asked my father to pull aside.
情境仿写2-2：受这个经历的鼓舞，我爱上了写作，而且我已经出版了几本书。
情境仿写2-2：Thinking of what had just happened , I immediately asked my father to pull up alongside.
My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth. Not a brilliant idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice. 省略（上下文衔接手段之一）
情境仿写3：我们别无选择只好再次试图发动机器，但是徒劳无功。
情境仿写3：We had no choice but to try to start the engine again, but in vain.
What did the horse think, as he sped through the night Did he get tired Have doubts Did he want to quit I sympathized immediately. I got tired. I had doubts. I wanted to quit. But, like Revere’s horse, I kept going. I worked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my older sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them
连串问句表示质疑、怀疑、担心、自我否定等情感。
连串短句（排比）表示拼搏努力的过程。
情境仿写4：随着每一次不成功的尝试，我们越来越沮丧。如果没有人经过来救我们怎么办？我们的船会不会被海浪打翻？
情境仿写4：With each unsuccessful attempt, we were getting more and more frustrated. What if no one would happened to pass by and come to our rescue Would our boat be turned over by the violent waves
短语：
If you’re willing to apply yourself勤奋工作；努力学习, I think you have a good shot at尝试 this.
When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to 让位给（情绪转变）the enjoyment of writing.
情境仿写5：我轻轻地把花环绕wind在妹妹的摇篮提手handle上，之前的嫉妒被爱代替了。
情境仿写5：I gently wound the flower chains around the handle of the baby basket. The former envy of mine surprisingly gave way to my affection for my little sister.
Passage 2:
He was a firm believer in the mantra (箴言)： What goes around comes around. 善有善报He believed that someday he might need help, and someone would return the favor. 谚语
情境仿写6 (结尾运用)：很多年过去了，但因为父亲的箴言一直被我铭记于心，我总是愿意帮助任何有困难的人，坚信善有善报。
情境仿写6：Many years has passed, but with my father’s mantra sticking in my mind, I am always willing to reach out to anyone in need, firmly believing what goes around does come around.
The man introduced himself as Mat and then thanked us warmly for coming to his assistance. His battery was dead, and he wondered if we could help him. 避开直接引语We did, and soon his big motor roared back to life. 详略得当（怎么施救不是交代的重点）Mat and his family were very grateful.
情境仿写7：那位老妇人很感激我们停车帮助她。她想知道我们能否让她搭车去车站。尽管不顺路，我们还是答应了。
情境仿写7：The old lady were very grateful that we stopped to help her. She wondered if she could give her a lift to the railway station. We agreed though it was not on our way home.
短语
But I didn’t quite buy it.相信（尤指不大可能的事）
As a matter of fact, it was terrible, so we decided to call it quits 叫停and go back to the marina.
The waves were kicking up越来越强；逐渐加强, and suddenly our engine decided to quit.决定停止（拟人）
情境仿写8：快到傍晚时，风越来越大，但孩子们脸上的快乐使这次“冒险”很值得。
情境仿写8：Towards evening, the wind kicked up and I still had several letters to deliver but the happiness / smiles on the children’s faces made the adventure worthwhile.
Passage3
We arrived at the shop, a wave of colour and sweet smell washing over(情绪等) 冲击 me. 分词独立主格结构做伴随状语
We yelled for help at the top of our lungs, a wave of fright washing over us.
I used to love this, but today I was so overcome with tiredness and envy.
sb. be overcome/overwhelmed with/by + 情绪/感觉 被---所困扰，影响
“But you and Mum seem so close,” I said, guiltily hiding away my envy of Rosa. 掩饰
“Now we are. But it took me years to grow into the role of big sister. Few flowers blossom (绽放) overnight, you know.”谚语
类似表达：On Dad's final day of work, it took him well into the evening to complete his rounds because at least one member from each family was waiting at their mailbox to appreciate him for his friendship and his years of service.
情境仿写12：（结尾化用）没有花儿在一夜之间开放，我很高兴我没有花太长时间接受了我亲情境仿写12：Few flowers blossom (绽放) overnight and I was glad that it had not taken too long for me to accept my dear sister.
It was like gathering my childhood memories. 比喻
情境仿写13：走在熟悉的路上就像是在收集我童年的回忆。我记得我曾经是多么兴奋去和父亲一起递送邮件和快乐。
情境仿写13：Wandering on the familiar country roads was like gathering my childhood memories. I remembered how excited I had been about going with my father to deliver mails and happiness.
Passage 4：
He once lectured me that to bring everyone plain pleasure was his greatest pleasure, which has clung to （一直记得）me so far.
情境仿写14：善良真的有回报，这是我亲身体验到的，而且是从那以后我一直铭记的。
情境仿写14：What goes around really comes around, which was what I experienced in person and has clung to me ever since.
With a heavy heart心情沉重地,I traveled back to my hometown on the sad occasion of Dad's death.
with a light heart 轻松愉快地
Mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table when I heard footsteps. There, at the door, stood Frank Townsend, Dad's postmaster and great friend for many years.倒装句使衔接更紧密
类似表达：Behind her shop was a field dotted with spring flowers.
情境仿写16：静静地躺在信箱里的是来自热切盼望他们地圣诞愿望实现地孩子们的信。
情境仿写16：There lying quietly in the mailbox were letters from children eagerly waiting for their Christmas wishes to come true.
Threads of silver ran through his beard and the hair. Obviously, time ploughed deep wrinkles on his brow. 描写白发、皱纹等
扩句训练
姐姐的成长
Suddenly I saw two familiar figures walking towards me.
Q1. The two familiar figures were my parents. They suggested having a picnic there.
Q2. My responses. I greeted the suggestion with a jump.
As they approached a few steps closer, I made out they were my parents with my mother carrying my baby sister in her baby basket. They suggested having a picnic there, at which I jumped with joy. Q3. Q3. We were in the field with spring flowers. What happened later (to draw me closer to my parents and little sister) We made flower chains and joked with each other as before.
While mother was preparing the picnic and Rosa was asleep in her baby basket, my father and I began picking flowers and making flowers chains. We played with the flower chains and named each other the silliest titles. Everything was the same as before.
Q4: last sentence: Rosa cried. / I approached the baby basket.
Then I heard a baby cry and I immediately rushed to Rosa’s baby basket.
Rosa was wide awake in her baby basket beside the picnic blanket.
Q4. Describe Rosa. Cute. How
She was crying with her arms waving and her legs kicking. On seeing me, she immediately stopped crying and tried to hold my finger, grinning from ear to ear, which melted my heart.
She looked around with her tiny eyes curiously, putting her little fingers in her mouth as if tasting something sweet.
Q5. The shift of my feelings for her. I no longer envy her.
All my former envy of her gave way to my love and affection for her. It felt not bad to have a little sister!
give way to 被---替代
Anger gave way to fear when it struck me that it could happen again.
The last houses give way to soybean fields.
Q6. What did I do I wound the flower chain around the handle of her baby basket.
Gently I wound the flower chain around the handle of her baby to decorate it.
A proper ending. The solution of the problem.I finally grew into the role of a big sister. Describe the scene of the family having a picnic in the sun.
I suddenly understood what my aunt said to me before. Yes, this time I have made up my mind to learn to be a big sister. Welcome to my new life, Rosa, my sister.
With the four of us enveloped in the fragrance of the flowers and the warm sunshine, I knew I had fully accepted Rosa as one of the closest family members and I was willing to share everything with her.
水库遇困
Para1: We tried to get it running, but it simply wouldn’t start.
Q1.What did we do Our feelings. We tried to start the engine again, but were unsuccessful. we were frustrated/ frightened. We tried to ask for help.
With each unsuccessful attempt, our frustration mounted. The once-reliable engine now lay silent, leaving us adrift helplessly on the vast reservoir.
We tried to get it running, but it simply wouldn’t start. With no one to turn to for help, we were totally at a loss.
Overwhelmed by a sense of despair, we yelled at the top of our lungs, hoping to attract the attention of someone passing by.
Q2.Who came to help us How Mat. We secured our boat to his yacht and were pulled to the marina.
After what seemed like centuries, a beautiful yacht came to our sight.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Mat pulled up alongside us and asked if he could be of assistance.
Suddenly, I spotted a beautiful big yacht coming towards us and recognized it was the yacht of Mat. The next moment Mat was securing our boat to his and we were returning to the Sheep Creek Marina.
Q3.Our feelings We were very thankful. I felt amazed.
Mixed feelings surged through me as I stood there watching what was happening. What a coincidence it was that out of so many people there it was Mat who happened to pass and come to our rescue!
His friendly smile reassured us almost immediately, easing our worry. I was amazed that of all the people on the reservoir, Mat would be the person to show up to give us aid.
Q4.We went back to Sheep Creek Marina and were ready to drive back home.
Gratefully accepting his kind offer, we secured our boat to his. Chatting and laughing all the way, we returned to the marina safe and sound and were ready for home.
Sent back to the marina safe and sound, we breathed a sigh of relief and sincerely expressed our gratitude to the Mat family. We went to our car and started our journey home.
Para2: On our way home, I saw an old lady waving at our car by the roadside.
Q5.What is the matter with her What did we do I asked my father to stop and asked her what was the matter. She asked for a lift to the station.
Obviously, she was in need of help.Without thinking twice/ Without hesitation, I asked my father to pull over beside her, which my father did immediately.
Scenes of what had happened crowding into my mind, I immediately asked my father to pull up alongside.
My father gave me a thumb up with pride written on his face.
She wondered if we could give her a lift to the station. We agreed although it was not on our way home./ We agreed although it meant we had to drive several extra miles.
As we approached the lady, her face lit up with a glimmer of hope. She explained that her car had broken down, leaving her trapped on the way. We assured her that we would help.
The lady told us that there was something wrong with her car and she needed a lift to the nearest garage. / she needed someone to help her change one of her tyres. It took my father nearly an hour to finish changing the flat tyre. Meanwhile I waited patiently and chatted with the old lady.
Q6. Did her problem solved We drove her to the station and she was very thankful.
We drove her to the station and she thanked us sincerely.
As the engine roared back to life, the old lady’s gratitude overflowed.
As the engine was restarted successfully, she was so grateful that she offered us some money, which we refused.
Q7. My feelings. / A proper ending. I accepted my father’s mantra. I am willing to help others in need, believing______
As we waved the grateful lady goodbye, my heart swelled with a newfound understanding of my father’s mantra. What goes around really comes around. I finally had a chance to witness my father’s mantra in action and follow in his footsteps.
Many years has passed, but with my father’s mantra sticking in my mind, I will always reach out to anyone in need, firmly believing what goes around does come around.
三 培优2跟踪训练 句子优化
We had no chance except trying but / except to try to start it again,but failed.
Few flowers blossom overnight, I and I was delighted that I didn't spend much time acquiring my sister.it didn’t take too long a time for me to accept my sister.
With hands fingers in her mouth, Rosa kept hers eyes on me and expressed warm smile to me. fixed her eyes on me, smiling / grinning from ear to ear.
I asked my father to stop as soon as I saw an old lady waving at our car by the roadside immediately.
Trapped in trouble she would appreciate it if we can give her a lift. She explained that she needed to go to the station and asked to take a lift. We gladly offered help, for which she was very grateful.
What would happen if nobody passed would pass by to help us Will Would our boat be overturned by the waves
If What if there was no people no one passing pass by No one giving us a hand and give us a hand Whether our boat was going to be turned around by the waves
So thankful we were were we that words failed us. I felt badly amazed to witness my father's mantra came true answered.
Under the spring sun Bathed in the sun, sitting on the field full of shining yellow flowers, we enjoyed delicious food and happiness covered us happily.
Being encouraged Encouraged by this experience, I fell in love with writing and I have had quite a lot of works published.
With the sunshine applied to her pink soft face, I had a real excited feeling and carefully observed my cute sister for the first time. Her rosy cheeks, watery eyes and innocent smile melted my heart.