限时作文5（慰问信） ：写前阅读、思考并积累
Step 1 : 认真阅读下面范文
假如你是李华，你的美国笔友Mike来信说他现在心情很不好，因为在上周结束的校篮球比赛中，他所在的班级篮球队以一分之差输了。请你写一封信安慰他。
Dear Mike,
I was very sorry to hear that your team lost the basketball match last weekend. It’s understandable for you to be in a bad mood. However, if you can adopt different perspectives, the loss may be a blessing.
First, it’s normal to lose in a basketball match, for you can either win or lose. If you’ve tried your best, why not lift your spirits to face up to（直面）the result Anyway, the essence of competition lies not in victory but in participation. Besides, you can also benefit from your loss by figuring out your strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, if your team endeavors to rise above（克服、战胜）the disadvantages, you will win sooner or later.
I hope you can find my encouragement helpful. Best wishes.
Yours,
Li Hua
Step 2 : 思考下列问题
安慰信是向不幸者或失败者表示安慰的信件，时态通常一般是_____一般现在时和一般将来时___为主；
安慰信一般包含三个要点：
第一部分：引入话题（同情对方遭遇，表明写信目的，向对方的处境表示理解、关心）；
第二部分：表示慰问（，描述具体事件，并给予鼓励或者提供帮助等）；
第三部分：总结全文（给与鼓励和支持，并强调祝愿对方早日康复或渡过难关之类）。
Step 3 : 背满分佳句
夺人眼球开头句（对对方遭遇表示同情）
1. I am excessively(非常)sorry to hear that you are trapped in bad mood, which is because...
听说你因为......而情绪低落，我深感抱歉。
2.Having known that you are under painful state and great pressure now, I’m writing to express my great comfort to you.获悉你现在处境困难，压力巨大，我写信是为了表达我对你的慰藉。
3.Words fail to convey my profound worry when I heard that...
听说......之后，我的担忧无法用言语来表达。
4.In today’s newspaper, I read about the recent events in your hometown and I am writing to extend my deepest condolences.
在今天的报纸上，我看到你们家乡最近发生的事件，特此写信表示慰问。
5.My sorrow is beyond words for hearing that…
听说......之后，我的悲伤无法言表。
亮点出彩篇中句 (根据具体事件，给与鼓励和帮助）
1．In the first place, taking a positive attitude to the examination is particularly important.
首先，对考试有一个积极的态度是尤其重要的。
2．I deem(视作，相信）it adj. to do….
我认为做......是......。
3．It is advisable to ... / only by which can you .../ It is high time that（虚拟）/It is essential for you to .../ It is a brilliant way to...
我建议......（此处不逐个翻译）。
4．Only when you clear up your complex mind and try your most to catch up with the new term can you work your problems out.
只有当你理清复杂的思路，新学期尽最大努力赶上来时，你才能解决你的问题。
5．Moreover, a detailed schedule is of vital importance, which can help you strike a balance between study and your leisure time.
此外，详细的时间表至关重要，它可以帮助你在学习和休闲时间之间取得平衡。
As is known to all, failure is the mother of success. I do hope you won’t lose heart and will get ready to try again.
众所周知，失败是成功之母。我真的希望你不要灰心，做好准备再试一次。
韵味无穷结尾句（表示祝愿和鼓励）
May the sorrow you feel in your heart be lightened by the love that surrounds you.
愿你内心的忧伤被周围的爱所抹去。
Don’t let it get you down. It will be over very soon.不要让这件事击垮你。事情很快就会过去的。
If there is anything you need me to do , don’t hesitate to let me know.
Cheer up! Things will work out for the best.
振作点！事情会有好结果的。
Remember ,we won’t be far away if you need any help!
记住，如果你需要任何帮助，我们都会在不远处！
I hope you can find my encouragement helpful. Best wishes.我希望你能对我的鼓励有所帮助。最美好的祝愿给你。限时20分钟作文5（慰问信）
班级_________ 姓名_________________ 分数（满分15）____________ 书写（满分5）________
假定你是李华，你的朋友Tony刚刚升入高三，因为暑期短他没休息好，所以现在状态很差。面临高考压力，Tony不知所措。请你给他写一封信表示安慰，要点如下：
1、表示难过和理解；
2、就如何调整状态提出建议。
注意：
1、词数100左右。
2、可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
3、开头和结尾已经给出，不计入总词数。
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
（1）写作思路
第一步：引出事实，表达惋惜和同情；
第二步：安慰对方或鼓励对方，提出建议；
第三步：表达愿望和祝愿。
（2）词汇过关
表达我的深刻理解 extend my deep understanding/ have a strong vibe with you/in parallel with you
陷入困境 trap in/ meet formidable trouble/ be puzzled about
把自己沉浸在学习的氛围中 immerse yourself in the study atmosphere
心情不佳 in low spirit/ lack of spirit
别将自己沉浸在悲伤当中 don’t bury yourself in a state of sadness
失去动力的 demotivated
疲劳 fatigue
全心全意地 wholeheartedly
（3）星级句式
第一段：表达理解，进行安慰
Words fail to express my sympathy when I heard that you are in bad conditions mentally and physically on account of a lack of relaxation during the short summer vacation recently.
Under the heavy burden of College Entrance Examination,we are bound to be confronted with a wide range of inevitable setbacks and upsetting difficulties.
第二段：提出建议
（1）任务分解，时间规划
Therefore, it's no use worrying but do nothing, only when you clear up your complex mind and try your most to catch up with the new term can you work your problems out.
Moreover, a detailed schedule is of vital importance, which can help you strike a balance between study and your leisure time.
（2）健康生活,适度运动
So it's no exaggeration to say that you almost make a success once you can maintain the equilibrium(平衡) between recreation and study.
What’s more, time permitting, it’s a smart alternative to do sports after school. Vital as homework is, physical fitness also plays an essential role in your life.
（3）积极心态，向老师或家人倾诉
Subsequently, on account of the great pressure, it’s necessary for you to refresh yourself and keep passion on the academic work.
Ultimately，when you encounter some difficulties, both teachers and parents will give you a hand if you turn to them.
第三段：希望建议有所帮助，并表达祝愿
I hope these practical suggestions mentioned above will make a difference to you.
I sincerely hope you can make flexible adjustments to fit in well with the life of Senior 3 and I will be delighted if my advice makes some differences.
（4）佳作赏析：
Dear Tony,
I am more than sorry to know that you are in such a bad situation undergoing great pressure of your senior three’s life, ①due to the lack of rest during a short holiday. ②I can’t understand you more as the same a senior student as you. But just take it easy. In the hope of offering you some help, I make my suggestions as follows.
To begin with, it’s essential for you to adjust your schedule, seeking a balanced style to fit the new school life, which will turn to be busy and maybe a bit of boring and tiring. Besides, to keep calm mentally is also quite necessary for you.
③As the saying goes, “A watched pot never boiled.”Therefore, ④it’s no use worrying but do nothing, ⑤only do you clear up your complex mind and try your most to catch up with the new term can you work your problems out. Last but not least, finding ways you are fond of for your daily relaxation can be a wise choice, such as some sports, light music and some excellent articles.
All in all, I sincerely wish my suggestions can ⑥be of your benefit and hope you can get rid of the present situation as early as possible.
Yours, Li Hua
名师点评：
①due to引导原因状语从句，简明扼要表达题目要求信息。
②“as…as”结构的使用使文章开头便能抓住老师眼球。
③添加谚语——心急水不开，展示积累，与后文建议的逻辑相符，从而增强了文章的可读性。常用进言谚语还有No sweat, no sweet.或No pains, no gains.(一分耕耘 一分收获）
④该句式的运用，可灵活表达自己的反对观点，还可用there is no use或it is meaningless/ a waste of time to do作同义替换。
⑤only引导半倒装条件句,但要注意此用法系only修饰整个句子，若only修饰主语，则不用倒装。
⑥be of benefit, get rid of等课本短语的运用，显示出基础知识扎实的功底。
（5）升级改写：
改写前：
Dear Tony,
Hearing you are out of condition now,① I feel so poor. ②I could understand it because I am experiencing the same state as you. For the short vacation, you can accept the following suggestions as the references.
Firstly, ③it is important to relax yourself because NCEE is not awful but a step stone which is for you to reach the higher level. Doing exercise is the best way to your relaxation. Secondly, ④turning to teacher for help about the study and life in the 12th grade could be meaningful.⑤Teachers are not only familiar to you but also to the life in this year. They could help you to find the solution in this stage. Additionally, if you still feel stressful, the best choice is to have a trip with friends during the break time so that you can forget everything and feel higher.
If you need further help, you can call me whenever it is at your convenience. I am willing to help you. The 12th grade is an important stage and just fight for yourself.
Yours, Li Hua
改写后：
Dear Tony,
①Words failed to express my sympathy for you when I heard that you are out of condition.② Putting myself in your shoes, I extend my extreme understanding to you for I underwent some sufferings resembling yours just a few days ago. Fortunately, I have found my way to pace myself and I will give you some advice as follows.
Above all, as is often the case, ③students wrongly hold the view that they have to spur （鞭策）themselves to outstanding academic performances until passion for study and energy run out. In reality, a balanced mindset plays an important role in learning under great pressure from NCEE. Furthermore, ④under no circumstances can you overlook how the help of teachers works. ⑤They are not only acquainted with you but also have more insights into study and life during the senior year. Last but not least, what matters most is to relax and combine study with entertainment. For instance, it's a wise choice to have a trip with friends to where you are eager for. With all things refreshing you comes a great outcome that you are back on track.
All in all, I hope that what is stated above is helpful to you. And if you need further help, turn to me without hesitation. I am looking forward to your good news.
Yours, Li Hua
改写分析：
①开头言简意赅，句式高级，直入话题，运用了时间状语和express sympathy for sb.
②连贯地阐述题目背景和表现个人情感，运用非谓语作状语、使用了地道的表达方式和低频词。
③运用了spur sb to do/ passion for sth run out等加分词组。
④综合利用倒装句和名词性从句，升级结构。
⑤be acquainted with sth/sb have more insights into sth形式变换多样，表达更丰富。
总论：原文句式句型单一重复，单词拼写、语法存在错误，短语较少且缺乏亮点，结尾略显生硬。同学们要学以致用，多运用高级句式，同时注意文体和对象感，理顺行文逻辑，结尾可使用祈使句加强情感。限时20分钟作文5（慰问信）
班级_________ 姓名_________________ 分数（满分15）____________ 书写（满分5）________
假定你是李华，你的朋友Tony刚刚升入高三，因为暑期短他没休息好，所以现在状态很差。面临高考压力，Tony不知所措。请你给他写一封信表示安慰，要点如下：
1、表示难过和理解；
2、就如何调整状态提出建议。
注意：
1、词数100左右。
2、可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
3、开头和结尾已经给出，不计入总词数。
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________限时作文5 （慰问信）：写前阅读、思考并积累
Step 1 : 认真阅读下面范文
假如你是李华，你的美国笔友Mike来信说他现在心情很不好，因为在上周结束的校篮球比赛中，他所在的班级篮球队以一分之差输了。请你写一封信安慰他。
Dear Mike,
I was very sorry to hear that your team lost the basketball match last weekend. It’s understandable for you to be in a bad mood. However, if you can adopt different perspectives, the loss may be a blessing.
First, it’s normal to lose in a basketball match, for you can either win or lose. If you’ve tried your best, why not lift your spirits to face up to（直面）the result Anyway, the essence of competition lies not in victory but in participation. Besides, you can also benefit from your loss by figuring out your strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, if your team endeavors to rise above（克服、战胜）the disadvantages, you will win sooner or later.
I hope you can find my encouragement helpful. Best wishes.
Yours,
Li Hua
Step 2 : 思考下列问题
安慰信是向不幸者或失败者表示安慰的信件，时态通常一般是_________________________为主；
安慰信一般包含三个要点：
第一部分：引入话题（同情__________，表明__________，向对方的处境表示_____、_____）；
第二部分：表示_____（，描述________，并给予______或者______等）；
第三部分：总结全文（给与_____和_____，并强调_____________或________之类）。
Step 3 : 背满分佳句
夺人眼球开头句（对对方遭遇表示同情）
1. I am excessively(非常)sorry to hear that you are trapped in bad mood, which is because...
听说你因为......而情绪低落，我深感抱歉。
2.Having known that you are under painful state and great pressure now, I’m writing to express my great comfort to you.获悉你现在处境困难，压力巨大，我写信是为了表达我对你的慰藉。
3.Words fail to convey my profound worry when I heard that...
听说......之后，我的担忧无法用言语来表达。
4.In today’s newspaper, I read about the recent events in your hometown and I am writing to extend my deepest condolences.
在今天的报纸上，我看到你们家乡最近发生的事件，特此写信表示慰问。
5.My sorrow is beyond words for hearing that…
听说......之后，我的悲伤无法言表。
亮点出彩篇中句 (根据具体事件，给与鼓励和帮助）
1．In the first place, taking a positive attitude to the examination is particularly important.
首先，对考试有一个积极的态度是尤其重要的。
2．I deem(视作，相信）it adj. to do….
我认为做......是......。
3．It is advisable to ... / only by which can you .../ It is high time that（虚拟）/It is essential for you to .../ It is a brilliant way to...
我建议......（此处不逐个翻译）。
4．Only when you clear up your complex mind and try your most to catch up with the new term can you work your problems out.
只有当你理清复杂的思路，新学期尽最大努力赶上来时，你才能解决你的问题。
5．Moreover, a detailed schedule is of vital importance, which can help you strike a balance between study and your leisure time.
此外，详细的时间表至关重要，它可以帮助你在学习和休闲时间之间取得平衡。
As is known to all, failure is the mother of success. I do hope you won’t lose heart and will get ready to try again.
众所周知，失败是成功之母。我真的希望你不要灰心，做好准备再试一次。
韵味无穷结尾句（表示祝愿和鼓励）
May the sorrow you feel in your heart be lightened by the love that surrounds you.
愿你内心的忧伤被周围的爱所抹去。
Don’t let it get you down. It will be over very soon.不要让这件事击垮你。事情很快就会过去的。
If there is anything you need me to do , don’t hesitate to let me know.
Cheer up! Things will work out for the best.
振作点！事情会有好结果的。
Remember ,we won’t be far away if you need any help!
记住，如果你需要任何帮助，我们都会在不远处！
I hope you can find my encouragement helpful. Best wishes.我希望你能对我的鼓励有所帮助。最美好的祝愿给你。
