2025年中考英语三轮复习 写作讲评课 课件

(共21张PPT)
The Analysis of the Writing
How to Take Care of Your Eyes
五、书面表达
校英语报Healthy life 栏目正在举行“How to Take Care of Your Eyes ”主题征文比赛，请你分析图中的现象谈谈你的看法，结合下列要点用英语写一篇短文向该栏目投稿。
1.分析造成近视的原因；
2.提出保护视力的合理建议；
3.…
注意：1.文中不能出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息
2.文本长度：越110词左右
How to Take Care of Your Eyes
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
审题
体裁：
内容要点：
写作意图：
人称：
时态：
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误。
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
（0-3分） 第一档：
（5-7分）第二档：
五、书面表达
校英语报Healthy life 栏目正在举行“How to Take Care of Your Eyes ”主题征文比赛，请你分析图中的现象谈谈你的看法，结合下列要点用英语写一篇短文向该栏目投稿。
1.分析造成近视的原因；
2.提出保护视力的合理建议；
3.…
注意：1.文中不能出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息
2.文本长度：越110词左右
How to Take Care of Your Eyes
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
一个完整的句子（6分）
两三个完整的句子（7-8分）
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度,长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
（20分） 满分档：
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
（8-11分） 第三档：
（5-7分）第二档：
（0-3分） 第一档：
专家鉴定完美
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
文本有一定长度,长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
有一句完整的与主题有关的句子
白卷，不文明，中文 0分。
有一些英语单词3分。
至少有两句与主题有关的完整句子
Why
51字
106字
字数
段落
书写
（8-11分） 第三档：
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
（12-15分）第四档：
五、书面表达
校英语报Healthy life 栏目正在举行“How to Take Care of Your Eyes ”主题征文比赛，请你分析图中的现象谈谈你的看法，结合下列要点用英语写一篇短文向该栏目投稿。
1.分析造成近视的原因；
2.提出保护视力的合理建议；
3.…
注意：1.文中不能出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息
2.文本长度：越110词左右
How to Take Care of Your Eyes
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
内容涵盖要点：
1.分析造成近视的原因；
2.提出保护视力的合理建议；
Beginning
Ending
play games
…
审列提纲：
1…
2…
3…
do homework
Eye is very important for people.
Now, lots of people all play game , read book, watch TV, use QQ ,chitchat on the mobile phone, so a lot of people hold short sight. Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
We should protect eyes, play mobile phone a little.
I hope short sight people reduce
根据提纲合理分段 字迹端正；
1.分析造成近视的原因；
2.提出保护视力的合理建议；
Beginning
Ending
Watch TV
Play game
Read book
1…
2…
3…
Eye is very important for people. Now, lots of people all play game , read book, watch TV, use QQ ,chitchat on the mobile phone, so hold short sight people is a lot of . Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
we should protect eyes, a little while play mobile phone. I hope short sight people reduce
Eye is very important for people.
Now, lots of people all play game , read book, watch TV, use QQ ,Win chat on the mobile phone, so a lot of people hold short sight. Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
We should protect eyes, play mobile phone a little.
I hope short sight people reduce
At the moment , many people wear a pair of glasses. Why many people have a short sight
Many people like play video game. when we have a holiday. We take a mobile phone or computer home. We play game all day long. We like watching TV, but we like sit in front of computer. We have a lot of homework, but we do homework in not role. So they have a short sight.
We must play a bit game. When we are watching TV, we sit far from the computer. If we do homework, we must have a right role.
（8-11分） 第三档：
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
（12-15分）第四档：
动词+N
who
when
where
how
…
扩句
1+N (n>1)原则
动词+N
who
when
where
why
…
扩写
People play games
1.People play games with their friends.(加人物)
2.People play games with their friends at home.(加地点)
3.People play games with their friends at home every day.(加时间)
4.Many People play computer games with their friends at home every day.(加定语)
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
（8-11分） 第三档：
文本有一定长度长度虽然与要求有明显距离，但勉强看出作文意图
动词+N
who
when
where
why
…
Eye is very important for people.
Now, lots of people all play game , read book, watch TV, use QQ ,Win chat on the mobile phone, so a lot of people hold short sight. Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
We should protect eyes, play mobile phone a little.
I hope short sight people reduce
（12-15分）第四档：
Eye is very important for people.
Now, lots of people all play game at home every day , because they are very interesting , some people read book for a long time and they didn’t have a rest, some people watch TV every night , many people use QQ ,Win chat on the mobile phone, so a lot of people get short sight. Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
we should protect eyes . play mobile phone a little. Don’t watch every night. Don’t read for a long time.
I hope short sight people will reduce.
1+N (n>1)原则
扩句
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
（12-15分）第四档：
Eye is very important for people.
Now, lots of people all play game at home every day , because they are very interesting , some people read book for a long time and they didn’t have a rest, some people watch TV every night , many people use QQ ,Win chat on the mobile phone, so a lot of people get short sight. Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
we should protect eyes . play mobile phone a little. Don’t watch every night. Don’t read for a long time.
I hope short sight people will reduce.
连接词：
and
but
so
first second third
what’s more / moreover/ what’s worse
therefore , as a result
however
firstly/secondly/ thirdly/ finally / last but not least
Eye is very important for people .
Now, lots of people all play game at home every day , because they are very interesting , some people read book for a long time and they didn’t have a rest, _________ some people watch TV every night , _________ many people use QQ ,Win chat on the mobile phone all the time, so a lot of people get short sight. Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
_____we should protect eyes . ________play mobile phone a little. _________ don’t watch every night. _________ don’t read for a long time.
I hope short sight people will reduce.
连接词：
and
but
so
first second third
what’s more \ moreover\ what’s worse…
therefore \ as a result…
However…
firstly \ secondly \thirdly \finally
\ last but not least …
过渡句
Task:使用连接词和过渡句让文章更连贯。
（16-19分）第五档：
（12-15分）第四档：
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），行文基本连贯，词汇不够丰富、有一些语法错误
Eye is very important for people. But many people have short sight, why
Now, lots of people all play games at home every day , because they are very interesting , some people read book for a long and they didn’t have a rest, some people watch TV near the TV ,many people use QQ ,Wechat on the mobile phone, so a lot of people get short sight. Short sight is bad, people have a glass on the face.
So how to protect our eyes here is some advice. First, play mobile phone a little. Second ,don’t watch TV for a long time. Third , don’t read book without rest.
I hope short sight people will reduce.
1.Make sure the beginning and ending are correct sentences.
2.Each paragraph have the topic sentences
1.分析造成近视的原因；
2.提出保护视力的合理建议；
Beginning
Ending
play games
do homework
…
1…
2…
3…
Eyes are very important for people.
I hope there will be fewer and fewer people having short sight.
I hope …
（16-19分）第五档：文本长度符合要求，涵盖所有要点，书写规范（分段落），条理清楚，逻辑严密，词汇比较丰富、有少量语法错误，
As we know, it’s important for us to have good eyes. But in our community, there are many people with glasses. Most of them have short sight.
The reasons are different. Some are born with short sight. Some play too many games on their mobile phones. And some people spend too much time playing computer or watching TV. So our eyes always don’t have enough time to have a rest. As a result, many people get short sight.
From my point of view. They are some ways to avoid wearing glasses. Firstly, we should do eye exercises twice a day, so that our eyes can be stronger than before. Secondly, we need to eat some fresh fruit, such as bananas, they’re good for our eyes. Last but not least, you can look across the mountains, it’s good way to relax your eyes.
Anyway, relax your eyes on time, or you may have a short sight. Exactly, it’s better to have good eyes instead of a pair of glasses.
首尾呼应
段落首句突出重点
表达严谨
巧用连词
内容真实，结合生活，有说服力
逻辑严密
条理清楚
词汇丰富
五、书面表达
校英语报Healthy life 栏目正在举行“How to Take Care of Your Eyes ”主题征文比赛，请你分析图中的现象谈谈你的看法，结合下列要点用英语写一篇短文向该栏目投稿。
1.分析造成近视的原因；
2.提出保护视力的合理建议；
3.…
注意：1.文中不能出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息
2.文本长度：越110词左右
1. 常用连接：
并列and, as well, not only…but also…
递进what’s more, what’s worse, besides
转折 but, however, while
因果so, therefore，as a result, so… that… because, that’s why, the reason is that…,since, as…
让步 although/though, no matter, even if
解释说明 for example, for instance, such as, like, actually, to tell you the truth, in fact
条件 if, as long as, unless
目的 in order to, so that
时间顺序 at first, at the beginning/end of ,then, after that, later, in the end, finally, at last,
as soon as
观点顺序 first /second/third, firstly, secondly/last but not least
陈述观点：in my opinion, I think, in my point of view, to be sure…
总结 above all, anyway, all in all, in a word, generally speaking
2.严谨性表述常用词：not all, always, mostly, nearly, hardly, perhaps, maybe , probably, possibly, may, indeed
书写
3分 段落
1分 字数
3分 要点
3分 条理清楚
2分 逻辑严密
3分 语言丰富2 错误
2分 合计
首尾呼应1分 段落重点突出1分 连词
1分 内容有说服力1 措词严谨老练1
自评
他评
3.小组讨论，评价组员的文章。
根据文章写两到三句与主题有关的句子。
Level 1:
Level 2:
Complete your article , and give points for your partners.
Thank you!