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智慧解困型故事
写作导图
危机场景构建
（一） 环境渲染
The moonless night swallowed the lake, turning its surface into a treacherous black mirror.
（无月之夜吞噬了湖面，将其化作危险的黑色镜子）
解析：用"swallowed"拟人化黑夜，"treacherous"暗示危险，比喻句增强画面感。
A shrill crack echoed across the frozen river, spiderweb fractures spreading beneath my boots.
（刺耳的碎裂声在冰河上回荡，蛛网般的裂纹在我靴底蔓延）
解析：拟声词"shrill crack"制造紧张感，比喻句"spiderweb fractures"形象描绘冰裂。
Thick smoke coiled like venomous snakes, stinging our eyes and clogging our throats.
（浓烟如毒蛇般缠绕，刺痛眼睛堵塞喉咙）
解析：比喻句强化危机感，现在分词结构"stinging/clogging"增强临场感。
The raging current tugged at my ankles, its cold fingers threatening to drag me under.
（汹涌的急流撕扯脚踝，冰冷手指般要将我拽入水下）
解析：拟人化"tugged/threatening"，触觉描写增强代入感。
（二） 情绪铺陈
My heart hammered against my ribs like a caged bird desperate for escape.
（心脏如困鸟击打肋骨，拼命想要逃脱）
解析：明喻+拟人手法，生动表现恐慌生理反应。
A cold sweat trickled down my spine as the reality of our predicament sank in.
（当意识到困境现实时，冷汗沿脊背滑落）
解析："trickled"细腻描写身体反应，"sank in"体现心理变化过程。
Trembling fingers fumbled with the safety buckle, each failed attempt fueling my desperation.
（颤抖手指笨拙摸索安全带，每次失败都加剧绝望）
解析：现在分词作伴随状语，动作描写反映心理状态。
The deafening silence pressed down on us, magnifying every panicked heartbeat.
（震耳欲聋的寂静压迫而来，放大每次慌乱心跳）
解析：矛盾修饰法"deafening silence"，通感手法增强感染力。
救援过程描写
（一）决策时刻
"Think, think, think!" I chanted under my breath, scanning the surroundings for anything usable.
（"思考！思考！思考！"我低声念咒般环视可用之物）
解析：重复修辞增强紧张感，现在分词作伴随状语。
My training kicked in - assess, plan, act. Three steps to cling to sanity.
（训练记忆苏醒：评估、计划、行动，三步抓住理智）
解析：破折号引出专业流程，数字列举增强条理性。
Ripping my scarf into strips, the idea crystallized: we could fashion a lifeline.
（撕开围巾成布条时，想法明晰：我们能制作救生索）
解析：动作伴随心理活动，冒号引出关键方案。
"Form a human chain!" My voice cut through the chaos, surprisingly steady.
（"组成人链！"我的声音穿透混乱，意外沉稳）
解析：祈使句体现领导力，副词"surprisingly"制造反差。
（二）动作细节
Gritting my teeth, I inched forward, belly flat against the thinning ice.
（咬紧牙关匍匐前进，腹部紧贴渐薄的冰面）
解析：现在分词作状语，触觉描写增强真实感。
Her hand slipped from mine once, twice - on the third grasp, our fingers interlocked like puzzle pieces.
（她的手滑脱一次、两次——第三次抓紧时，手指如拼图紧扣）
解析：数字推进制造悬念，比喻句强化成功瞬间。
The makeshift raft wobbled precariously, each wave threatening to capsize our fragile hope.
（临时木筏危险摇晃，每个浪头都可能掀翻脆弱希望）
解析：拟人化"threatening"，抽象概念具象化。
Adrenaline surged as I heaved the child onto the bank, his shallow breaths fogging the frigid air.
（肾上腺素飙升中将孩子拖上岸，他浅弱的呼吸在寒雾中成霜）
解析：生理反应+视觉细节，救援成功的复合描写。
结局升华处理
（一） 情感收束
Collapsing onto the snow, laughter and tears mingled - the sweet taste of survival.
（瘫倒雪地，笑泪交融——存活的甘美滋味）
解析：破折号点睛，通感手法"taste"强化体验。
Her trembling embrace spoke volumes where words failed.
（她颤抖的拥抱胜过万语千言）
解析：拟人化"spoke"，留白手法引发共鸣。
The paramedic's nod was all the confirmation we needed; we'd beaten the odds.
（医护人员的点头就是最好确认：我们战胜了概率）
解析：分号连接结果，专业术语提升真实度。
In the ambulance's rotating lights, our silent hand squeeze conveyed more than any speech.
（救护车旋转灯光中，无声的紧握胜过千言万语）
解析：环境细节+动作描写，克制表达情感。
（二）主题升华
That day taught me: courage isn't the absence of fear, but action despite it.
（那天我学到：勇气不是毫无畏惧，而是虽惧犹行）
解析：冒号引出金句，对比结构强化哲理性。
Every CPR training session matters - you never know when life hands you a chance to be someone's hero.
（每次心肺复苏训练都重要——你永远不知道何时获得成为他人英雄的机会）
解析：破折号深化主题，第二人称拉近距离。
Emergency preparedness is like carrying an umbrella - its true value shines when storms hit.
（应急准备如同带伞——暴雨来袭时方显真价值）
解析：生活化比喻，复杂概念简单化。
Our trembling hands that day proved: ordinary people can summon extraordinary strength when lives hang in the balance.
（当日颤抖的手证明：当生命悬于一线，普通人也能爆发非凡力量）
解析：冒号引出结论，专业短语"hang in the balance"提升表达。
写作技巧总结：
感官混合：视觉（swirling smoke）+听觉（crackling ice）+触觉（numbing cold）联动
动词升级：把"run"替换为"stumble/trudge/bolt"增强画面感
比喻阶梯：具体比喻（ice like glass）→抽象比喻（fear like poison）
情绪弧线：panic→determination→relief→reflection 完整闭环
本指南通过分级描写（环境→动作→情感）和多样修辞（比喻/拟人/通感），帮助学生在词汇量范围内构建紧张感与情感张力并存的救人故事。每个例句均标注高中核心词汇（如precarious, adrenaline, CPR等），适合模仿运用。
高考真题演练
2020年7月浙江卷（拍照北极熊遇险）
One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “ the polar bear capital of the world ” — the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada.
Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears — like all wild animals — should be photographed from a safe distance. When I’m face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes, that is easier said than done. This was one of those times.
As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled our garlic bread.
The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.
Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though — he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws (爪子).
I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter (相遇), I took some pictures of the bear.
Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through 30 more minutes of the bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears’ eyes, but doesn’t hurt them. So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar (吼叫), the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2: At that very moment, the helicopter arrived.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【解析】
本文主要讲述了人与熊对抗，之后成功脱险的故事。主人公的感情线变化为：兴奋渴望→惊恐→放松。剧情线以主人公如何与北极熊周旋并成功摆脱它展开。
由第一段的段首提示句可知：几分钟后，熊又回到营地。接下来可通过场景渲染，描写当时令人颤栗惊恐的画面，例如“Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness.”这不仅合理地描写了熊的反应，也描绘出让人战栗的场景。
由第二段的段首提示句可知：此时，直升机到了。如果想要进行续写两段的合理衔接，第一段的结尾可描写成“After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, the bear trotted forward a few steps.”这样可以营造出危急的场景。“我们”看到直升机的到来，感到绝处逢生的喜悦，可以以人物心理描写作为第二段的开头，重点描写喜极而泣的状态，例如“My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to be saved.”
最后，结尾部分需要迅速收束，并说明成功逃脱的结局。
参考范文1
A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. Then we realized that the spray had only angered him even more, for he seemed much fiercer this time and violently pushed the fence like mad. My heart raced wildly, not knowing what to do. At this critical moment, Elli grabbed several pieces of garlic bread and threw them over the fence. It worked! The bear stopped the attack and ran to the bread. But it wasn’t long before he ate up all the bread and came back again.
At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. “Thank goodness we are saved!” Elli cried out. Once the helicopter landed, we got onto it in no time, excited and relieved. When we were safe on the helicopter up in the air, I was amazed to spot that the bear had finally torn down the fence and ran towards the food we left behind. I quickly took out the camera and photographed the rare scene — we were robbed by a polar bear!
参考范文2
A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror. I feared that the giant would destroy our whole fence. He roared repeatedly, shattering what was left of the silence. Elli seized this opportunity to take some pictures of the bear. The animal’s noises echoed all around us. We betrayed our feelings by huddling together, shivering with fear. After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, he trotted forward a few steps.
At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to be saved. Elli used pepper spray again to buy us enough time. But this time the bear became more alert. He regarded us with the merciless necessity of hunger, so we throw all the food we have. He then turned away and started devouring. As we were climbing the rope ladder, Elli prayed like thousand times to show thankfulness of being safe and sound.
2017年6月浙江卷（骑行遇狼）
On a bright, warm July afternoon, Mac Hollan, a primary school teacher, was cycling from his home to Alaska with his friends. One of his friends had stopped to make a bicycle repair, but they had encouraged Mac to carry on, and they would catch up with him soon. As Mac pedaled (骑行) along alone, he thought fondly of his wife and two young daughters at home. He hoped to show them this beautiful place someday.
Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him. “Man, that’s a big dog!” he thought. But when he looked to the side, he saw instantly that it wasn’t a dog at all, but a wolf, quickly catching up with him.
Mac’s heart jumped. He found out his can of bear spray. With one hand on the bars, he fired the spray at the wolf. A bright red cloud enveloped the animal, and to Mac’s relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later, it was by his side again. Then it attacked the back of Mac’s bike, tearing open his tent bag. He fired at the wolf a second time, and again, it fell back only to quickly restart the chase (追赶).
Mac was pedaling hard now. He waved and yelled at passing cars but was careful not to slow down. He saw a steep uphill climb before him. He knew that once he hit the hill, he’d be easy caught up and the wolf’s teeth would be tearing into his flesh.
At this moment, Paul and Becky were driving their car on their way to Alaska. They didn’t think much of it when they saw two cyclists repairing their bike on the side of the road. A bit later, they spotted what they, too, assumed was a dog running alongside a man on a bike. As they got closer, they realized that the dog was a wolf. Mac heard a large vehicle behind him. He pulled in front of it as the wolf was catching up fast, just a dozen yards away now.
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1: The car abruptly stopped in front of him.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2: A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
1 整体把握：
主题语境 人与社会--人与环境、人与动植物
语篇话题 本篇读后续写为记叙文，文章大意为Mac和朋友们在骑行的过程中，遭遇了狼的追赶；Paul和Beeky开车路过，帮着Mac摆脱狼的追赶。
情节梳理 故事要素 when：On a bright, warm July afternoon where：the way to Alaska who：Mac Hollan and his friends; Paul and Beeky what：Mac Hollan was cycling from his home to Alaska and they met a wolf. Paul and Beeky drove and helped them escape from the wolf.
情节走向 通过第一段首句“ The car abruptly stopped in front of him.”可预测，续写思路为：Mac上车--狼追上来--麦克与狼智斗--Mac成功上车
通过第二段首句“A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived.”可预测，续写思路为：两人震惊--两人与狼智斗--狼离开--大家脱离险境
2逐句写作：
第一段：
1． 麦克跳下自行车，冲向车门。
Mac jumped off his bicycle and rushed to the door of the car.
2． 但麦克还没来得及开门，狼就追上了，扑了上去。
But before Mac could open the door, the wolf had caught up and jumped to attack.
3． 幸运的是，魔法喷雾第三次救了麦克。
Luckily, the magic spray saved Mac a third time.
4． 看到狼退后，保罗迅速打开车门，受惊的人很快爬上车，重重地关上身后的车门。
Seeing the wolf back off, Paul quickly unlocked the door, and the frightened man climbed into the car in no time, shutting the door behind him heavily.
5． 贝西从后窗往外看，看见狼站在麦克的自行车上，好像那是一场杀戮。
Bechy looked out of the back window and saw the wolf standing over Mac’s bicycle as if it were a kill.
6． 不久，那只动物跑了。
Soon after, the animal ran off.
第二段：
7． 他们对所见的感到震惊，于是加入保罗的行列。
They were shocked at what they saw and joined Paul.
8． 麦家的一个朋友挑出一些生肉扔给了狼。
One of Macs friends picked out some raw meat and threw it to the wolf.
9． 狼对得到的东西很满意，就跑进了树林。
Satisfied with what he got, the wolf ran into the woods.
10．麦克感谢保罗和贝基，“你停下来救我，我真是太感谢你了，我还活着，这都归功于你。”
Mac thanked Paul and Becky, “How grateful I am that you stopped to save me and I owe it to you that I’m still alive.”
11．由于麦克受伤，这三个人不得不放弃剩下的旅程回家。
As Mac got injured, the three men had to give up the rest of their journey and returned home.
3 范文赏析
The car abruptly stopped in front of him. Mac jumped off his bicycle and rushed to the door of the car. But before Mac could open the door, the wolf had caught up and jumped to attack. Luckily, the magic spray saved Mac a third time. Seeing the wolf back off, Paul quickly unlocked the door, and the frightened man climbed into the car in no time, shutting the door behind him heavily. Bechy looked out of the back window and saw the wolf standing over Mac’s bicycle as if it were a kill. Soon after, the animal ran off.
A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived. They were shocked at what they saw and joined Paul. One of Macs friends picked out some raw meat and threw it to the wolf. Satisfied with what he got, the wolf ran into the woods. Mac thanked Paul and Becky, “How grateful I am that you stopped to save me and I owe it to you that I’m still alive.” As Mac got injured, the three men had to give up the rest of their journey and returned home.
素材积累
3．1 情绪类素材积累
绝望 desperately/hopelessly
令人害怕的 frightening/terrifying
毫不犹豫 without hesitation
3．2 动作类素材积累
消失 disappear/fade away/be gone
上车 get in /hop in
大声尖叫 scream loudly/shriek loudly
冲出 rush out of
转头 turn one’s head around
冲进 rush into
追赶 chase after
扔出 throw out
3．3 环境描写类素材积累
太阳开始缓缓升起，给山披上了一层金纱。
The sun began to rise in the sky, bathing the mountain in golden light.
夜幕降临。
The night settled in.
天空非常黑暗，风在她的四周可怕地怒吼着。
It was very dark, and the wind howled horribly around her.
天空乌云密布。
The sky is covered with dark clouds.
天气晴朗，吹来阵阵清风。
The day was bright with a fresh breeze blowing.
一场暴雪侵袭了整个城市。
A snowstorm blanketed the entire city.
模拟演练
练习（一）
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节，使之构成一个完整的故事。
Ever since he was a kid, Colin had taken great interest in hiking (远足）. To celebrate his 40th birthday, he planned to climb Mountain Sunshine.
The night before his journey, Colin filled his backpack with hiking poles, a homemade hamburger, and some other necessities. He drove off at 7 am the next day, his mountain bike in the trunk(后备箱）。When he was already on the way, he suddenly realized there was a possibility of bear attack.
About an hour later, he arrived at a camp and checked in.“Is there anything you need ”Vito,the camp manager, asked him.
“Bear spray(驱熊喷雾），”said Colin.
After finding a bottle, Vito offered him a ride. They trucked along a road until the forest got too thick. As Colin put his mountain bike against a bush so that he could recover it on the way back, Vito said, “I'll come for you if you're not back when the night falls." “Nothing to worry about,” Colin replied in a confident voice.
With the bear spray in one pocket,Colin started hiking.He marked his trail(足迹，踪迹） and made lots of noise to drive away any curious animals.
Before he knew it, it was getting dark. Not wanting to get caught in the dark, and satisfied with what he'd finished that day, he started to climb down the mountain, and soon recovered his bike.
As he passed a marker showing 3 kilometers away from the camp, he suddenly stopped his bike-a bear stood in the middle of the narrow road,some hundred meters away. Knowing it could easily attack him if he sped up, Colin decided not to anger the bear.
注意：
1．写作词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: The animal came in his direction, closer and closer.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2: At that very moment, a truck stopped right in front of him.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
练习（二）
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节，使之构成一个完整的故事。
It was a hot July day in Philadelphia. The five boys I was with had been sick of playing marbles and burning holes in dry leaves. So when little Ned suggested climbing the cliff, the rest of kids all agreed excitedly, except me. I hesitated. I longed to be brave and active, like them, but I’d been a sickly child most of my eight years and I actually wasn’t as strong as the other boys.
“Come on!”Called Jerry, my best friend. “Just being sick is no reason to be a coward（胆小鬼）.” “I’m coming!” I yelled, and ran along after them. Through the park and into the woods we went, finally we stood beneath the near vertical（垂直的）wall of the cliff, about 60 feet high. To me it looked like the very symbol of the Forbidden and Impossible.
One by one, the other boys climbed upward, finding handholds and toeholds on rocks. I hung back until the others were partway up; then trembling and sweating, I began to climb. A hand here, a foot there, my heart pounding in my skinny chest, I made my way up and up. At some point, I looked back and was horrified. The ground at the base of the cliff seemed very far below; one slip and I would fall. But the boys were talking loudly and happily above me. In a few minutes they started up to the top while I still struggled and crawled, far behind.
“Hey, wait,” I begged. Sadly, they ignored my request and continued their way to the top, from where they would walk home by an easier route. Before they left, they glanced down at me. “You can stay if you want to”, teased Ned. Jerry looked concerned, but he went with the others.
I looked down and was overcome by dizziness; a nameless force seemed to be dragging me to fall off. I grasped the rock as the world spun around. I could never climb back down. It was much too far to go, too dangerous.
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2． 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: However the way up to the top was even worse—higher, steeper, more challenging.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2: I didn’t know how long it had passed until a familiar voice came below.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________练习（三）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
At first, Michael didn’t see the black smoke or flames shooting from the windows of his neighbors’ home. He and his wife had just parked around the corner from their own house when they got a call from one of his daughters: “The house next door is on fire!” He went to check. That’s when he saw two women and a girl helpless and heartbroken on their doorway.
“The baby’s in there!” one of the women cried. Though the fire department had been called, Michael, then 64, immediately ran inside. “The baby” was 8-year-old Tiara, the woman’s granddaughter and a playmate of Michael’s three youngest kids.
Entering the burning house was like “running into a bucket of black paint”. The thick smoke caused Michael to stumble blindly around, burned his eyes, and made it impossible to breathe. The conditions would have been dangerous for anyone, but for Michael, who has severe lung disease, they were life-threatening.
After a few minutes in the smoke-filled house, he retreated outside to catch his breath. “Where is Tiara ” he asked desperately.
“The second floor,” her aunt shouted back.
Michael knew he couldn’t hold his breath for long. However, taking a deep breath, he went in a second time. The darkness was overwhelming. Yet because the house had a similar design to his, he made it to the second floor. He turned to the right and was met by intense heat. He was already out of breath.
“Baby girl, where are you ”
His throat and lungs burned as if he’d inhaled fire instead of the smoke in the air. Every blink stung his eyes. All he could hear was the crackling and popping of burning wood. Then a soft but distinct moan emerged. Still unable to see, Michael fell to his knees on the hot wood floor. He crawled toward the sound, feeling around for any sign of the girl. An unlucky thought crossed his mind: I’m probably gonna die up here.
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Finally, Michael touched something.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2: Tiara was safe now; however, Michael fainted down to the ground, unconscious.
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范文赏析
练习（一）
The animal came in his direction,closer and closer. Hands shaking,Colin grabbed the hamburger out of his backpack, and threw it beside the bear, hoping it would attract the animal. However,the bear just took one smell, and then turned back, walking on. With the distance getting so close,Colin took out the spray quickly and fired it at the bear. To his relief, it fell back, shaking its head.Seeing this,Colin rode toward the camp as quickly as he could.Sadly,a moment later.he heard the bear roaring and running after him.
At that very moment,a truck stopped right in front of him."Get in!" Someone shouted.It was Vito! Without any hesitation, Colin jumped off his bike and got into the truck, shutting the door just before the bear caught him. So angry was the bear that it kept roaring and pushing the truck violently. After what seemed ages,it gave up,turned around, and disappeared into the woods, With his heart still in his throat. Colin hugged his life-saver and thanked him again and again. Perhaps, he would never forget the life-risking experience for the rest of his life.
练习（二）
However the way up to the top was even worse—higher, steeper, more challenging. I would never make it. I heard someone sobbing and moaning; I wondered who it was and realized that it was I. The other boys must have been home. Time dragged. And with each passing minute, my legs and arms grew sore/numb. Something rolled down my cheeks. It was tears or sweat, or both. The shadows gradually lengthened, the sun disappeared from the treetops beyond the clearing below, and dusk began to gather. The ground below the cliff became dim. Can you imagine how desperate I was at that time
I didn’t know how long it had passed until a familiar voice came below. I glanced down! It was my dad with a flashlight. But what could he do It was impossible for him to climb up here and carry me down. “Come on down, my brave boy. Dinner is ready.” His comforting tone seemed to have a magic power. Somehow, following his light, I struggled to inch over one step. And then another. That’s how it went. Finally I took the last step down onto the bottom and into my father’s strong arms, sobbing a little, and then, surprisingly, feeling a sense of immense accomplishment and something like pride.
练习（三）
Finally, Michael touched something. A shoe, then an ankle — It was Tiara! He scooped her into his arms and stood. Turning, he fought through the smoke and made his way to the outside. Michael put Tiara down on the doorway. And He started CPR — the first time he’d ever done so. The women stood behind him, praying silently. Soon a slight cough came from Tiara’s throat. He gave five more breaths. She opened her eyes and took a breath on her own.
Tiara was safe now; however, Michael fainted down to the ground, unconscious. When he woke up, Michael found himself in the hospital, surrounded by his neighbors who constantly said thank-you to the hero. Michael spent over a week in the hospital. Tiara was released from the hospital after a few days. The fire sickened Michael’s lung disease, and he feels the effects even two years later. “It’s a small price to pay,” he always replies. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Wouldn’t give it a second thought.”
21世纪教育网 www.21cnjy.com 精品试卷·第 2 页 （共 2 页）/ 让教学更有效 高效备考 | 英语学科
智慧解困型故事
写作导图
危机场景构建
（一） 环境渲染
The moonless night swallowed the lake, turning its surface into a treacherous black mirror.
（无月之夜吞噬了湖面，将其化作危险的黑色镜子）
解析：用"swallowed"拟人化黑夜，"treacherous"暗示危险，比喻句增强画面感。
A shrill crack echoed across the frozen river, spiderweb fractures spreading beneath my boots.
（刺耳的碎裂声在冰河上回荡，蛛网般的裂纹在我靴底蔓延）
解析：拟声词"shrill crack"制造紧张感，比喻句"spiderweb fractures"形象描绘冰裂。
Thick smoke coiled like venomous snakes, stinging our eyes and clogging our throats.
（浓烟如毒蛇般缠绕，刺痛眼睛堵塞喉咙）
解析：比喻句强化危机感，现在分词结构"stinging/clogging"增强临场感。
The raging current tugged at my ankles, its cold fingers threatening to drag me under.
（汹涌的急流撕扯脚踝，冰冷手指般要将我拽入水下）
解析：拟人化"tugged/threatening"，触觉描写增强代入感。
（二） 情绪铺陈
My heart hammered against my ribs like a caged bird desperate for escape.
（心脏如困鸟击打肋骨，拼命想要逃脱）
解析：明喻+拟人手法，生动表现恐慌生理反应。
A cold sweat trickled down my spine as the reality of our predicament sank in.
（当意识到困境现实时，冷汗沿脊背滑落）
解析："trickled"细腻描写身体反应，"sank in"体现心理变化过程。
Trembling fingers fumbled with the safety buckle, each failed attempt fueling my desperation.
（颤抖手指笨拙摸索安全带，每次失败都加剧绝望）
解析：现在分词作伴随状语，动作描写反映心理状态。
The deafening silence pressed down on us, magnifying every panicked heartbeat.
（震耳欲聋的寂静压迫而来，放大每次慌乱心跳）
解析：矛盾修饰法"deafening silence"，通感手法增强感染力。
救援过程描写
（一）决策时刻
"Think, think, think!" I chanted under my breath, scanning the surroundings for anything usable.
（"思考！思考！思考！"我低声念咒般环视可用之物）
解析：重复修辞增强紧张感，现在分词作伴随状语。
My training kicked in - assess, plan, act. Three steps to cling to sanity.
（训练记忆苏醒：评估、计划、行动，三步抓住理智）
解析：破折号引出专业流程，数字列举增强条理性。
Ripping my scarf into strips, the idea crystallized: we could fashion a lifeline.
（撕开围巾成布条时，想法明晰：我们能制作救生索）
解析：动作伴随心理活动，冒号引出关键方案。
"Form a human chain!" My voice cut through the chaos, surprisingly steady.
（"组成人链！"我的声音穿透混乱，意外沉稳）
解析：祈使句体现领导力，副词"surprisingly"制造反差。
（二）动作细节
Gritting my teeth, I inched forward, belly flat against the thinning ice.
（咬紧牙关匍匐前进，腹部紧贴渐薄的冰面）
解析：现在分词作状语，触觉描写增强真实感。
Her hand slipped from mine once, twice - on the third grasp, our fingers interlocked like puzzle pieces.
（她的手滑脱一次、两次——第三次抓紧时，手指如拼图紧扣）
解析：数字推进制造悬念，比喻句强化成功瞬间。
The makeshift raft wobbled precariously, each wave threatening to capsize our fragile hope.
（临时木筏危险摇晃，每个浪头都可能掀翻脆弱希望）
解析：拟人化"threatening"，抽象概念具象化。
Adrenaline surged as I heaved the child onto the bank, his shallow breaths fogging the frigid air.
（肾上腺素飙升中将孩子拖上岸，他浅弱的呼吸在寒雾中成霜）
解析：生理反应+视觉细节，救援成功的复合描写。
结局升华处理
（一） 情感收束
Collapsing onto the snow, laughter and tears mingled - the sweet taste of survival.
（瘫倒雪地，笑泪交融——存活的甘美滋味）
解析：破折号点睛，通感手法"taste"强化体验。
Her trembling embrace spoke volumes where words failed.
（她颤抖的拥抱胜过万语千言）
解析：拟人化"spoke"，留白手法引发共鸣。
The paramedic's nod was all the confirmation we needed; we'd beaten the odds.
（医护人员的点头就是最好确认：我们战胜了概率）
解析：分号连接结果，专业术语提升真实度。
In the ambulance's rotating lights, our silent hand squeeze conveyed more than any speech.
（救护车旋转灯光中，无声的紧握胜过千言万语）
解析：环境细节+动作描写，克制表达情感。
（二）主题升华
That day taught me: courage isn't the absence of fear, but action despite it.
（那天我学到：勇气不是毫无畏惧，而是虽惧犹行）
解析：冒号引出金句，对比结构强化哲理性。
Every CPR training session matters - you never know when life hands you a chance to be someone's hero.
（每次心肺复苏训练都重要——你永远不知道何时获得成为他人英雄的机会）
解析：破折号深化主题，第二人称拉近距离。
Emergency preparedness is like carrying an umbrella - its true value shines when storms hit.
（应急准备如同带伞——暴雨来袭时方显真价值）
解析：生活化比喻，复杂概念简单化。
Our trembling hands that day proved: ordinary people can summon extraordinary strength when lives hang in the balance.
（当日颤抖的手证明：当生命悬于一线，普通人也能爆发非凡力量）
解析：冒号引出结论，专业短语"hang in the balance"提升表达。
写作技巧总结：
感官混合：视觉（swirling smoke）+听觉（crackling ice）+触觉（numbing cold）联动
动词升级：把"run"替换为"stumble/trudge/bolt"增强画面感
比喻阶梯：具体比喻（ice like glass）→抽象比喻（fear like poison）
情绪弧线：panic→determination→relief→reflection 完整闭环
本指南通过分级描写（环境→动作→情感）和多样修辞（比喻/拟人/通感），帮助学生在词汇量范围内构建紧张感与情感张力并存的救人故事。每个例句均标注高中核心词汇（如precarious, adrenaline, CPR等），适合模仿运用。
高考真题演练
2020年7月浙江卷（拍照北极熊遇险）
One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “ the polar bear capital of the world ” — the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada.
Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears — like all wild animals — should be photographed from a safe distance. When I’m face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes, that is easier said than done. This was one of those times.
As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled our garlic bread.
The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.
Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though — he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws (爪子).
I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter (相遇), I took some pictures of the bear.
Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through 30 more minutes of the bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears’ eyes, but doesn’t hurt them. So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar (吼叫), the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp.
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Paragraph 2: At that very moment, the helicopter arrived.
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2017年6月浙江卷（骑行遇狼）
On a bright, warm July afternoon, Mac Hollan, a primary school teacher, was cycling from his home to Alaska with his friends. One of his friends had stopped to make a bicycle repair, but they had encouraged Mac to carry on, and they would catch up with him soon. As Mac pedaled (骑行) along alone, he thought fondly of his wife and two young daughters at home. He hoped to show them this beautiful place someday.
Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him. “Man, that’s a big dog!” he thought. But when he looked to the side, he saw instantly that it wasn’t a dog at all, but a wolf, quickly catching up with him.
Mac’s heart jumped. He found out his can of bear spray. With one hand on the bars, he fired the spray at the wolf. A bright red cloud enveloped the animal, and to Mac’s relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later, it was by his side again. Then it attacked the back of Mac’s bike, tearing open his tent bag. He fired at the wolf a second time, and again, it fell back only to quickly restart the chase (追赶).
Mac was pedaling hard now. He waved and yelled at passing cars but was careful not to slow down. He saw a steep uphill climb before him. He knew that once he hit the hill, he’d be easy caught up and the wolf’s teeth would be tearing into his flesh.
At this moment, Paul and Becky were driving their car on their way to Alaska. They didn’t think much of it when they saw two cyclists repairing their bike on the side of the road. A bit later, they spotted what they, too, assumed was a dog running alongside a man on a bike. As they got closer, they realized that the dog was a wolf. Mac heard a large vehicle behind him. He pulled in front of it as the wolf was catching up fast, just a dozen yards away now.
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1: The car abruptly stopped in front of him.
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Paragraph 2: A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived.
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模拟演练
练习（一）
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节，使之构成一个完整的故事。
Ever since he was a kid, Colin had taken great interest in hiking (远足）. To celebrate his 40th birthday, he planned to climb Mountain Sunshine.
The night before his journey, Colin filled his backpack with hiking poles, a homemade hamburger, and some other necessities. He drove off at 7 am the next day, his mountain bike in the trunk(后备箱）。When he was already on the way, he suddenly realized there was a possibility of bear attack.
About an hour later, he arrived at a camp and checked in.“Is there anything you need ”Vito,the camp manager, asked him.
“Bear spray(驱熊喷雾），”said Colin.
After finding a bottle, Vito offered him a ride. They trucked along a road until the forest got too thick. As Colin put his mountain bike against a bush so that he could recover it on the way back, Vito said, “I'll come for you if you're not back when the night falls." “Nothing to worry about,” Colin replied in a confident voice.
With the bear spray in one pocket,Colin started hiking.He marked his trail(足迹，踪迹） and made lots of noise to drive away any curious animals.
Before he knew it, it was getting dark. Not wanting to get caught in the dark, and satisfied with what he'd finished that day, he started to climb down the mountain, and soon recovered his bike.
As he passed a marker showing 3 kilometers away from the camp, he suddenly stopped his bike-a bear stood in the middle of the narrow road,some hundred meters away. Knowing it could easily attack him if he sped up, Colin decided not to anger the bear.
注意：
1．写作词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: The animal came in his direction, closer and closer.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2: At that very moment, a truck stopped right in front of him.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
练习（二）
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节，使之构成一个完整的故事。
It was a hot July day in Philadelphia. The five boys I was with had been sick of playing marbles and burning holes in dry leaves. So when little Ned suggested climbing the cliff, the rest of kids all agreed excitedly, except me. I hesitated. I longed to be brave and active, like them, but I’d been a sickly child most of my eight years and I actually wasn’t as strong as the other boys.
“Come on!”Called Jerry, my best friend. “Just being sick is no reason to be a coward（胆小鬼）.” “I’m coming!” I yelled, and ran along after them. Through the park and into the woods we went, finally we stood beneath the near vertical（垂直的）wall of the cliff, about 60 feet high. To me it looked like the very symbol of the Forbidden and Impossible.
One by one, the other boys climbed upward, finding handholds and toeholds on rocks. I hung back until the others were partway up; then trembling and sweating, I began to climb. A hand here, a foot there, my heart pounding in my skinny chest, I made my way up and up. At some point, I looked back and was horrified. The ground at the base of the cliff seemed very far below; one slip and I would fall. But the boys were talking loudly and happily above me. In a few minutes they started up to the top while I still struggled and crawled, far behind.
“Hey, wait,” I begged. Sadly, they ignored my request and continued their way to the top, from where they would walk home by an easier route. Before they left, they glanced down at me. “You can stay if you want to”, teased Ned. Jerry looked concerned, but he went with the others.
I looked down and was overcome by dizziness; a nameless force seemed to be dragging me to fall off. I grasped the rock as the world spun around. I could never climb back down. It was much too far to go, too dangerous.
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2． 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: However the way up to the top was even worse—higher, steeper, more challenging.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph2: I didn’t know how long it had passed until a familiar voice came below.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
练习（三）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
At first, Michael didn’t see the black smoke or flames shooting from the windows of his neighbors’ home. He and his wife had just parked around the corner from their own house when they got a call from one of his daughters: “The house next door is on fire!” He went to check. That’s when he saw two women and a girl helpless and heartbroken on their doorway.
“The baby’s in there!” one of the women cried. Though the fire department had been called, Michael, then 64, immediately ran inside. “The baby” was 8-year-old Tiara, the woman’s granddaughter and a playmate of Michael’s three youngest kids.
Entering the burning house was like “running into a bucket of black paint”. The thick smoke caused Michael to stumble blindly around, burned his eyes, and made it impossible to breathe. The conditions would have been dangerous for anyone, but for Michael, who has severe lung disease, they were life-threatening.
After a few minutes in the smoke-filled house, he retreated outside to catch his breath. “Where is Tiara ” he asked desperately.
“The second floor,” her aunt shouted back.
Michael knew he couldn’t hold his breath for long. However, taking a deep breath, he went in a second time. The darkness was overwhelming. Yet because the house had a similar design to his, he made it to the second floor. He turned to the right and was met by intense heat. He was already out of breath.
“Baby girl, where are you ”
His throat and lungs burned as if he’d inhaled fire instead of the smoke in the air. Every blink stung his eyes. All he could hear was the crackling and popping of burning wood. Then a soft but distinct moan emerged. Still unable to see, Michael fell to his knees on the hot wood floor. He crawled toward the sound, feeling around for any sign of the girl. An unlucky thought crossed his mind: I’m probably gonna die up here.
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Finally, Michael touched something.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2: Tiara was safe now; however, Michael fainted down to the ground, unconscious.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
21世纪教育网 www.21cnjy.com 精品试卷·第 2 页 （共 2 页）
