第二节 读后续写
一、洞悉读后续写的评分原则和评分标准
1.评分原则
(1)读后续写总分为25分,按七个档次给分。评分时,应主要从内容、语言(词汇、语法)和篇章结构三个方面考虑,具体为:
①续写内容的质量、完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。
②应用语法结构和词汇的准确性、恰当性和丰富性。
③与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度,上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
(2)评分时,应先根据所续写短文的整体情况确定其所属的档次,然后再以该档次的要求来综合衡量,确定或调整档次,最后给分。
2.各档次的给分范围和具体要求
档次 描述
第七档 (22～25分) ——创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高; ——使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达流畅,语言错误很少,且完全不影响理解; ——自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间衔接手段,全文结构清晰,前后呼应,意义连贯。
第六档 (18～21分) ——创造了比较丰富、合理的内容,比较有逻辑性,续写比较完整,与原文情境融洽度较高; ——使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达比较流畅,有个别错误,但不影响理解; ——比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。
第五档 (15～17分) ——创造了基本合理的内容,有—定的逻辑性,续写基本完整,与原文情境相关; ——使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达方式不够多样性,表达有些许错误,但基本不影响理解; ——使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。
第四档 (11～14分) ——创造了基本完整的故事内容,但有的情节不够合理或逻辑性不强,与原文情境基本相关; ——使用了简单的词汇和语法结构,有部分语言错误和不恰当之处,个别部分影响理解; ——尚有语句衔接的意识,全文结构基本清晰,意义基本连贯。
第三档 (6～10分) ——内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题,续写不够完整,与原文有一定程度脱节; ——所用的词汇有限,语法结构单调,错误较多且比较低级,影响理解; ——未能有效地使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不够清晰,意义欠连贯。
第二档 (1～5分) ——内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题,或有部分内容抄自原文,续写不完整,与原文情境基本脱节; ——所使用的词汇非常有限,语法结构单调,错误极多,严重影响理解; ——几乎没有使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不清晰,意义不连贯。
第一档 (0分) 未作答;所写内容太少或无法看清以致无法评判;所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要求完全不相关。
二、读后续写的写作指导
三、案例分析
(2024·新高考全国Ⅰ卷)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I met Gunter on a cold,wet and unforgettable evening in September.I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference.Due to a big storm,my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half.I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague.The moment I got off the plane,I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.
That was when I met Gunter.I told him where I was going,but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station.I thought my pronunciation was the problem,so I explained again more slowly,
but he still looked confused.When I was about to give up,Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend.After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century,Gunter put his phone down and started the car.
Finally,with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station.Thankfully,there was a long queue (队列) still waiting to board the bus.Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus,turned around,and looked at me with a big smile on his face.“We made it,” he said.
Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet.I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard.He tried it several times,but the card machine just did not play along.A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out.
At this moment,Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station.There,at the entrance,was a cash machine.I jumped out of the car,made a mad run for the machine,and popped my card in,only to read the message:“Out of order.Sorry.”
注意:续写词数应为150个左右。
Paragraph 1:
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Paragraph 2:
Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised.
Settings:
I was on my business trip in Vienna.The last bus to Prague would depart in 30 minutes,so I got on Gunter’s taxi to catch it.After overcoming the language problem,we managed to arrive at the bus station in the last two minutes.But I encountered a new challenge when paying the taxi fare.
Plot:
I went to Prague for an important conference.→Due to the delayed flight,there was only 30 minutes left for me to catch the last bus to Prague.→I got on Gunter’s taxi and went to my destination after he asked his friend for the route.→We made it to the bus station two minutes before its departure.→I didn’t carry cash and the card machine didn’t play along.→I rushed to the cash machine but it was out of order.
Emotion:
anxious→be about to give up→relieved→helpless→hopeful→despairing
Theme:
Showing kindness to strangers and trusting them can make the world a better place.
Conflict:
Gunter managed to bring me to the bus station,but I met some difficulties in paying the taxi fare.
Clue:
I had no cash and both the card machine and the cash machine failed to work.
Para.1:I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Q1:How did Gunter respond to the bad news
Possible answer:To my surprise,afraid I missed the bus,Gunter didn’t say anything but signaled me to catch the bus first.(形容词短语作状语;动作描写)
Q2:Did Gunter and I say anything more to each other
Possible answer:“May I have your phone number I will call you and return the money I owe you.I promise I will keep my word or you keep my watch!” I added,handing him my watch,but he rejected it.He wrote down his phone number and gave it to me.“Just keep your promise,Sir.” (现在分词作状语;对话描写)
Q3:How did I feel and what did I do after that
Possible answer:A feeling of gratitude washed over me as I heard his words.Giving him a firm handshake,I jumped out of the car,made a mad run for the bus,and jumped onto it just before its departure.(无灵主语;心理描写;现在分词作状语;动作描写)
Para.2:Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised.
Q1:Where did Gunter and I meet
Possible answer:He picked me up at the bus station where he had dropped me off four days before.Beaming a warm smile at him,I gave him a big hug the moment I saw him.(现在分词作状语;神态描写)
Q2:What did Gunter and I do next
Possible answer:We chatted happily on the way to the airport.I told him that but for his generosity and timely help,things wouldn’t have gone so smoothly.When he stopped his taxi outside the airport,I paid him for the “double car ride”,together with a generous tip that he turned down.(虚拟语气)
Q3:What did I feel about the experience
Possible answer:That day,the warm-hearted man and I,who were once complete strangers,became good friends,showcasing the magic of trust and kindness.(非限制性定语从句;现在分词作状语)
One possible version:
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news To my surprise,afraid I missed the bus,Gunter didn’t say anything but signaled me to catch the bus first.“May I have your phone number I will call you and return the money I owe you.I promise I will keep my word or you keep my watch!” I added,handing him my watch,but he rejected it.He wrote down his phone number and gave it to me.“Just keep your promise,Sir.” A feeling of gratitude washed over me as I heard his words.Giving him a firm handshake,I jumped out of the car,made a mad run for the bus,and jumped onto it just before its departure.
Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised. He picked me up at the bus station where he had dropped me off four days before. Beaming a warm smile at him,I gave him a big hug the moment I saw him.We chatted happily on the way to the airport. I told him that but for his generosity and timely help,things wouldn’t have gone so smoothly.When he stopped his taxi outside the airport,I paid him for the “double car ride”,together with a generous tip that he turned down. That day,the warm-hearted man and I,who were once complete strangers,became good friends,showcasing the magic of trust and kindness.
点津:afraid I missed the bus为形容词短语作状语,signaled me to为动作描写;
handing him my watch为现在分词作伴随状语;
A feeling of gratitude为无灵主语,搭配有灵动词washed over;
Giving him a firm handshake为现在分词作伴随状语,I jumped out of the car...just before its departure是使用动作链描写的经典句式“主语+动作A,动作B,and 动作C”;
使用where引导的定语从句;
使用现在分词Beaming a warm smile作伴随状语,且为神态描写;
使用虚拟语气;
使用who引导的非限制性定语从句;showcasing the magic of trust and kindness为现在分词作结果状语。
四、跟踪练习
阅读下面的材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段话,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
“Anybody has a bandage(绷带) ” a voice echoed down the dorm hallway.That was a common scene frequently happening in our first week at college when we were all experiencing “forgot-this-or-that”. I had forgot to bring snacks for late-night hunger.Some poor girl in the dorm had apparently forgotten bandages.We all felt a little displaced.
Several months before,I sat at my high school graduation party admiring my gifts and battling waves of post-high school emotions.The usual and beloved inspirational books were lying in disorder around my feet,silently announcing the wealth of wisdom they wished to share.A small pile of personal checks lay nearby.Laundry items,desk supplies,sewing things—were all well-intentioned and well-received.They would demonstrate their givers’ thoughtfulness over and over during my college career.
But one gift struck me as strange.I frowned when I opened it.A first-aid kit Inside it were a small packet of pills,pain-killers,creams,ointments(药膏),an insect sprayer (喷雾),a tape,pads of gauze (纱布) and bandages.Who would give that as a gift “You’ll need that once you’re at school,” Mom pointed out.“You won’t have to chase down the campus nurse for every cough.”I shrugged at this thought.
Not long after,in August,I packed my life into a borrowed truck and slipped the first-aid kit in with my luggage.I barely thought about it once I reached campus,busy unpacking,book-
buying,scheduling and meeting new friends.
One day,I was peacefully sitting in my room,absorbed in preparing my studies.The quiet atmosphere was suddenly broken by a sharp scream,“Anybody has a bandage Emily got her arm burnt!” The voice echoed through the dormitory hall,instantly throwing residents into a state of confusion and alarm.
注意:续写词数应为150个左右。
Paragraph 1:
I remembered my little first-aid kit.
Paragraph 2:
Years later,I received a party invitation from a young friend who was graduating from high school.
情节线 情感线
Who I,Emily and my mother “我”对礼物感到奇怪 Emily十分感激 渴望参加聚会 对选礼物感到茫然 喜悦
Where At my college dormitory
When One day
What A girl screamed for a bandage in the college dormitory,because Emily’s arm got burnt.
Theme It’s important to make full preparations,especially when we come to an unfamiliar place.
Conflict & Clue Conflict:Emily’s arm was burnt at the dormitory,but she and her roommates all forgot to bring bandages. Clue:I received a first-aid kit from my mother before I entered college,and I also brought it to the college.
Para.1 I remembered my little first-aid kit. Q1:Did I help Emily with the kit Q2:How did Emily feel after I helped her Q3:Did I help any other girls with the kit later
Para.2 Years later,I received a party invitation from a young friend who was graduating from high school. Q1:Did I want to attend the party Q2:What gift did I bring to the young friend Q3:How did she feel about my gift
One possible version:
I remembered my little first-aid kit. Grabbing my package in no time,I stormed into the hall where I saw Emily sitting on the floor,her face contorted in pain,her arm reddened and swollen.Kneeling beside her and gently unwrapping the first-aid kit,I quickly yet carefully cleaned the burnt area,applied a gauze pad to the burn,and secured it with a bandage.“Thank you,” she whispered,her voice hoarse.“It’s okay,” I reassured her.Soon,many of the other girls heard of my little kit and paid me a visit for various needs.
The little gift I had questioned now led me toward new friendships.
Years later,I received a party invitation from a young friend who was graduating from high school. Eager as I was to attend her party,I was at a loss what gift to prepare.Then like a bolt out of the blue,memories of my own party rushed back to me.As I drove to the pharmacy,I knew exactly what gift I would give her:a first-aid kit.When I arrived at her party with the very gift for her,her eyes widened in surprise at it,exactly as what I did years ago.I smiled and explained the depth and meaning behind my choice.It was not just a first-aid kit but a chance to be a friend.Knowing the whole story,she took it and winked at me,“Yes,it is a bandage for bond.”
点津:grabbing 和stormed into为动作描写,其中grabbing为现在分词作伴随状语;使用了where引导的定语从句;her face contorted in pain,her arm reddened and swollen为细节描写,使用了独立主格结构;
kneeling和unwrapping为现在分词作伴随状语,使用动作链描写的经典句式“主语 + 动作A,动作B,and 动作C”;
her voice hoarse为独立主格结构;
使用了as引导的让步状语从句倒装句;
like a bolt out of the blue为比喻修辞;memories为无灵主语,搭配有灵动词rushed back。
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读后续写
第二节
一、洞悉读后续写的评分原则和评分标准
1.评分原则
(1)读后续写总分为25分,按七个档次给分。评分时,应主要从内容、语言(词汇、语法)和篇章结构三个方面考虑,具体为:
①续写内容的质量、完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。
②应用语法结构和词汇的准确性、恰当性和丰富性。
③与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度,上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
(2)评分时,应先根据所续写短文的整体情况确定其所属的档次,然后再以该档次的要求来综合衡量,确定或调整档次,最后给分。
2.各档次的给分范围和具体要求
档次 描述
第七档 (22～25分) ——创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高;
——使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达流畅,语言错误很少,且完全不影响理解;
——自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间衔接手段,全文结构清晰,前后呼应,意义连贯。
第六档 (18～21分) ——创造了比较丰富、合理的内容,比较有逻辑性,续写比较完整,与原文情境融洽度较高;
——使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达比较流
畅,有个别错误,但不影响理解;
——比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。
第五档 (15～17分) ——创造了基本合理的内容,有—定的逻辑性,续写基本完整,与原文情境相关;
——使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达方式不够多样性,表达有些许错误,但基本不影响理解;
——使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。
第四档 (11～14分) ——创造了基本完整的故事内容,但有的情节不够合理或逻辑性不强,与原文情境基本相关;
——使用了简单的词汇和语法结构,有部分语言错误和不恰当之处,个别部分影响理解;
——尚有语句衔接的意识,全文结构基本清晰,意义基本连贯。
第三档 (6～10分) ——内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题,续写不够完整,与原文有一定程度脱节;
——所用的词汇有限,语法结构单调,错误较多且比较低级,影响理解;
——未能有效地使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不够清晰,意义欠连贯。
第二档 (1～5分) ——内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题,或有部分内容抄自原文,续写不完整,与原文情境基本脱节;
——所使用的词汇非常有限,语法结构单调,错误极多,严重影响理解;
——几乎没有使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不清晰,意义不连贯。
第一档 (0分) 未作答;所写内容太少或无法看清以致无法评判;所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要求完全不相关。
二、读后续写的写作指导
三、案例分析
(2024·新高考全国Ⅰ卷)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I met Gunter on a cold,wet and unforgettable evening in September.I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference.Due to a big storm,my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half.I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague.The moment I got off the plane,I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.
That was when I met Gunter.I told him where I was going,but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station.I thought my pronunciation was the problem,so I explained again more slowly,but he still looked confused.When I was about to give up,Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend.
After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century,Gunter put his phone down and started the car.
Finally,with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station.
Thankfully,there was a long queue (队列) still waiting to board the bus.
Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus,turned around,and looked at me with a big smile on his face.“We made it,” he said.
Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet.I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard.He tried it several times,but the card machine just did not play along.A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out.
At this moment,Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station.There,at the entrance,was a cash machine.I jumped out of the car,
made a mad run for the machine,and popped my card in,only to read the message:“Out of order.Sorry.”
注意:续写词数应为150个左右。
Paragraph 1:
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Paragraph 2:
Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised.
构思过程
Settings:
I was on my business trip in Vienna.The last bus to Prague would depart in 30 minutes,so I got on Gunter’s taxi to catch it.After overcoming the language problem,we managed to arrive at the bus station in the last two minutes.But I encountered a new challenge when paying the taxi fare.
Plot:
I went to Prague for an important conference.→Due to the delayed flight,
there was only 30 minutes left for me to catch the last bus to Prague.→I got on Gunter’s taxi and went to my destination after he asked his friend for the route.→We made it to the bus station two minutes before its departure.→
I didn’t carry cash and the card machine didn’t play along.→I rushed to the cash machine but it was out of order.
Emotion:
anxious→be about to give up→relieved→helpless→hopeful→despairing
Theme:
Showing kindness to strangers and trusting them can make the world a better place.
Conflict:
Gunter managed to bring me to the bus station,but I met some difficulties in paying the taxi fare.
Clue:
I had no cash and both the card machine and the cash machine failed to work.
Para.1:I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
情节构建
Q1:How did Gunter respond to the bad news
Q2:Did Gunter and I say anything more to each other
Q3:How did I feel and what did I do after that
Para.2:Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised.
Q1:Where did Gunter and I meet
Q2:What did Gunter and I do next
Q3:What did I feel about the experience
情节串联 撰写成文
afraid I missed the bus为形容词短语作状语,signaled me to为动作描写;
handing him my watch为现在分词作伴随状语;
A feeling of gratitude为无灵主语,搭配有灵动词washed over;
Giving him a firm handshake为现在分词作伴随状语,I jumped out of the car...just before its departure是使用动作链描写的经典句式“主语+动作A,动作B,and 动作C”;
使用where引导的定语从句;
点津:
1
2
3
4
5
使用现在分词Beaming a warm smile作伴随状语,且为神态描写;
使用虚拟语气;
使用who引导的非限制性定语从句;showcasing the magic of trust and kindness为现在分词作结果状语。
6
7
8
阅读下面的材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段话,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
“Anybody has a bandage (绷带) ” a voice echoed down the dorm hallway.That was a common scene frequently happening in our first week at college when we were all experiencing “forgot-this-or-that”. I had forgot to bring snacks for late-night hunger.Some poor girl in the dorm had apparently forgotten bandages.We all felt a little displaced.
四、跟踪练习
Several months before,I sat at my high school graduation party admiring my gifts and battling waves of post-high school emotions.The usual and beloved inspirational books were lying in disorder around my feet,
silently announcing the wealth of wisdom they wished to share.A small pile of personal checks lay nearby.Laundry items,desk supplies,sewing things—were all well-intentioned and well-received.They would demonstrate their givers’ thoughtfulness over and over during my college career.
But one gift struck me as strange.I frowned when I opened it.A first-aid kit Inside it were a small packet of pills,pain-killers,creams,ointments (药
膏),an insect sprayer (喷雾),a tape,pads of gauze (纱布) and bandages.Who would give that as a gift “You’ll need that once you’re at school,” Mom pointed out.“You won’t have to chase down the campus nurse for every cough.”I shrugged at this thought.
Not long after,in August,I packed my life into a borrowed truck and slipped the first-aid kit in with my luggage.I barely thought about it once I reached campus,busy unpacking,book-buying,scheduling and meeting new friends.
One day,I was peacefully sitting in my room,absorbed in preparing my studies.The quiet atmosphere was suddenly broken by a sharp scream,
“Anybody has a bandage Emily got her arm burnt!” The voice echoed through the dormitory hall,instantly throwing residents into a state of confusion and alarm.
注意:续写词数应为150个左右。
Paragraph 1:
I remembered my little first-aid kit.
Paragraph 2:
Years later,I received a party invitation from a young friend who was graduating from high school.
情节构建
情节线 情感线
Who I,Emily and my mother “我”对礼物感到奇怪
Emily十分感激
渴望参加聚会
对选礼物感到茫然
喜悦
Where At my college dormitory When One day What A girl screamed for a bandage in the college dormitory,because Emily’s arm got burnt. Theme It’s important to make full preparations, especially when we come to an unfamiliar place. “我”对礼物感到
奇怪
Emily十分感激
渴望参加聚会
对选礼物感到茫然
喜悦
Conflict & Clue Conflict:Emily’s arm was burnt at the dormitory,but she and her roommates all forgot to bring bandages. Clue:I received a first-aid kit from my mother before I entered college,and I also brought it to the college. Para.1 I remembered my little first-aid kit. Q1:Did I help Emily with the kit Q2:How did Emily feel after I helped her Q3:Did I help any other girls with the kit later “我”对礼物感到
奇怪
Emily十分感激
渴望参加聚会
对选礼物感到茫然
喜悦
Para.2 Years later,I received a party invitation from a young friend who was graduating from high school. Q1:Did I want to attend the party Q2:What gift did I bring to the young friend Q3:How did she feel about my gift grabbing 和stormed into为动作描写,其中grabbing为现在分词作伴随状语;使用了where引导的定语从句;her face contorted in pain,her arm reddened and swollen为细节描写,使用了独立主格结构;
kneeling和unwrapping为现在分词作伴随状语,使用动作链描写的经典句式“主语 + 动作A,动作B,and 动作C”;
her voice hoarse为独立主格结构;
使用了as引导的让步状语从句倒装句;
like a bolt out of the blue为比喻修辞;memories为无灵主语,搭配有灵动词rushed back。
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