中小学教育资源及组卷应用平台
2025 年新高考全国一卷读后续写一文多写参考范文及范文解析
参考范文
情节构思
第一段（内心转变）：聚焦于 “我” 的内心反思，详细描写 “我” 如何认识到自己错误，愧疚感转化为 “必须去道歉” 的行动决心。
第二段（付诸行动与和解）：描绘和解场面，包括抵达时的紧张、真诚道歉、哥哥的反应，利用 Toby 的动作作为 “催化剂” 打破僵局，以象征和解的动作结尾。
参考范文一
P1
I realized it was me who was at fault. I had been utterly selfish and thoughtless. Blinded by concern for the baby, I failed my brother completely. I ignored his profound grief and loneliness, forgetting that Toby was his lifeline, his sole comfort, his constant companion – the one thing keeping him going in his fragile state. My brother needed understanding and support, not rejection. I was deeply ashamed of my behavior; I had acted with a lack of empathy. The weight of my guilt pressed down on me, consumed by remorse.
P2
With the biscuits my wife had made, a peace offering, I arrived at my brother's door. My heart pounded with nervousness. Taking a deep breath, I rang the bell. He opened the door, met with surprise, his expression guarded. His eyes held a mix of hurt and something else. “I was wrong, terribly wrong,” I said quickly. “I came to apologize sincerely. I failed to see things from your perspective. I completely disregarded what Toby means to you, especially now. I miss you, and I'm worried about you.” My brother sighed deeply, his expression softened slightly, and his eyes welled up. “Come in,” he said quietly, stepping aside to let me enter. He reached out and gave my shoulder a squeeze. The tension began to ease, finally broken by Toby's enthusiastic greeting.
参考范文二
P1
I realized it was me who was at fault. My own pride and my focus on a perfect house had blinded me to his pain. I had treated Toby, his only source of comfort, as a simple inconvenience. For my brother, who had already lost so much, my rigid rule must have felt like another rejection. A wave of shame washed over me. I couldn’t let my foolishness create a permanent distance between us. My wife agreed, saying it was time to apologize and make things right.
P2
With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door. Taking a deep breath, I knocked. When he opened it, his eyes showed surprise, followed by a familiar sadness. Before he could speak, I said, “I am so sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you.” He stood silently for a moment, his shoulders relaxing slightly. Just then, Toby pushed past his legs, swinging his tail and gently pushed his head against my hand, as if he’d already forgiven me. We sat down, talked, and laughed like old times. By the end of the visit, we’d agreed to have another gathering—this time, with Toby welcome inside, too.
二、参考范文一词块与长难句分析
（一）核心词块分类
情感表达类
愧疚感：was consumed by remorse（充满懊悔）、the weight of my guilt pressed down（负罪感沉重）
自责：utterly selfish and thoughtless（极其自私欠考虑）、deeply ashamed of my behavior（对行为深感羞愧）
理解认知：blinded by concern for the baby（被宝宝的关心蒙蔽）、forgotten that Toby was his lifeline（忘记 Toby 是他的生命线）
动作描写类
心理动作：heart pounding with nervousness（心因紧张怦怦直跳）、took a deep breath（深吸一口气）
肢体动作：stepping aside to let me enter（侧身让我进门）、gave my shoulder a squeeze（捏了捏我的肩膀）
对话与和解类
道歉语句：I failed to see things from your perspective（未从你角度看问题）、Making you leave was heartless（让你离开是冷酷的）
情感反馈：his expression softened（表情软化）、eyes welled up（眼睛湿润）
（二）长难句解析
分词短语作状语
原句：Blinded by concern for the baby, I failed my brother completely.
解析：Blinded by...为过去分词短语作原因状语，强调 “被关心蒙蔽” 的状态，逻辑主语与主句一致，提升句式复杂度。
并列复合句
原句：I ignored his profound grief and loneliness, forgetting that Toby was his lifeline, his sole comfort, his constant companion – the one thing keeping him going in his fragile state.
解析：forgetting that...为现在分词作伴随状语，后接宾语从句；破折号后补充说明 “the one thing”，通过并列名词短语lifeline, sole comfort, constant companion强化 Toby 的重要性。
三、参考范文二词块与长难句分析
（一）核心词块分类
情感冲突类
自我批判：my pride and focus on a perfect house had blinded me（骄傲与对完美房子的执念蒙蔽双眼）、treated Toby as a simple inconvenience（将 Toby 视为麻烦）
决心表达：couldn’t let foolishness create permanent distance（不能让愚蠢造成隔阂）、time to apologize and make things right（是时候道歉弥补）
场景互动类
动作细节：Toby pushed past his legs, swinging his tail（Toby 挤过腿边，摇尾巴）、pushed his head against my hand（用头蹭我的手）
氛围描写：his eyes showed surprise, followed by sadness（眼中先惊讶后悲伤）、shoulders relaxing slightly（肩膀微微放松）
和解象征类
约定场景：agreed to have another gathering（约定再办聚会）、Toby welcome inside（Toby 被允许进屋）
情感升华：talked and laughed like old times（像从前一样谈笑）
（二）长难句解析
非限制性定语从句
原句：For my brother, who had already lost so much, my rigid rule must have felt like another rejection.
解析：who had already lost so much为非限制性定语从句，补充说明哥哥的处境，使 “规则伤害” 的逻辑更立体，符合高考对复杂句式的考查要求。
无灵主语 + 隐喻
原句：A wave of shame washed over me.
解析：以 “wave”（浪潮）作主语，隐喻 “羞耻感如潮水般涌来”，通过无灵主语（非生命物体作主语）增强画面感，属于高级表达技巧。
四、两篇范文对比总结
维度
参考范文一
参考范文二
故事山重点 侧重内心愧疚的细节刻画（如 “负罪感沉重”）
强调行动决心与和解后的约定（如 “下次聚会”）
词块特色 情感类词汇更密集（如 “remorse”“guilt”）
场景互动词块更生动（如 “Toby 蹭手”）
长难句策略 分词短语与并列结构结合
定语从句与隐喻修辞结合
主题呼应 聚焦 “共情理解”
突出 “亲情修复与接纳”
写作启示：通过故事山结构梳理情节逻辑，搭配情感类词块（如 “lifeline”“sole comfort”）和长难句（分词 / 从句 / 隐喻），可强化读后续写的层次感与语言深度，符合高考 “情节合理 + 语言精准” 的评分要求。
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