2025届山东省青岛高三下学期三模英语读后续写讲评课件(共27张PPT)
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| 名称 | 2025届山东省青岛高三下学期三模英语读后续写讲评课件(共27张PPT) |  | |
| 格式 | pptx | ||
| 文件大小 | 7.2MB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
| 版本资源 | 通用版 | ||
| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2025-07-28 12:13:40 | ||
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(共27张PPT)
2025.5 青岛三模写作 讲评
When planning trips, I gathered guidebooks, eager to explore every cultural site.
At first, this felt unfamiliar and even disappointing. I grew restless with boredom, struggling to fill my days with the kind of meaningful activities I was used to.
I returned home with a fresh insight that true travel is not just about discovering the world outside, but also about uncovering a deeper peace within.
计划旅行时，我会收集旅行指南，渴望探索每一处文化景点。
起初，这让人感觉陌生，甚至令人失望。我因无聊而烦躁不安，努力想用自己习惯的那种有意义的活动来充实日子。
我回到家时，有了一个全新的感悟：真正的旅行不只是探索外部世界，更是探寻内心深处的宁静。
自主复习与检测 5min
B篇 -- 佳句背诵
【练习--佳句仿写】：1. 我因为担心焦虑而烦躁不安，在大厅里踱来踱去。
I grew restless with worry and concern, keeping pacing up and down in the hall.
励志奋斗：
1.The world seemed to say “no,” but I refused to accept defeat. With determination burning in my heart, I took matters into my own hands. 世界似乎在说 “不行”，但我拒绝接受失败。心中燃烧着决心，我自己动手解决问题. (体现面对挫折的坚定态度 ）
2. Finally, my years of industrious work bore fruit. (=Paid off)
最终，我多年的辛勤工作终于有了成果。
情感表达：
3. I was filled with hope, yet my family’s financial struggles cast a dark shadow over my dream.
我满怀希望，然而家庭的经济困境却给我的梦想蒙上了一层阴影。
主题意义：
4. But I learned a valuable lesson: my worth wasn't defined by my clothes or my lack of opportunities. It was defined by my ability to rise in the face of adversity.
但我学到了宝贵的一课：我的价值不是由我的衣着或我缺乏机会所决定的。它是由我在逆境中奋起的能力所决定的。
5. I realized that I was shaped by struggles. I was strong and determined to make a difference.
我意识到，自己是在困境中磨砺成长的。我内心强大且意志坚定，决心要有所作为。
完形填空 -- 佳句背诵
【练习--佳句仿写】 5min
1. 我因为担心焦虑而烦躁不安，在大厅里踱来踱去。
2. 心中燃烧着决心，我立刻采取行动。
3. David一边回忆着那些可以拯救生命的流程，一边严格进行CPR施救，正如我们在地下室练习的那样。
3. 幸运的是，我的辛勤练习有了成果/回报。
4. 我学到了宝贵的一课：我们的CPR练习不仅是为了考试，更能拯救生命。
I grew restless with worry, keeping pacing up and down in the hall.
With determination burning in my heart, I sprang into action immediately.
Fortunately, my nights of industrious practice bore fruit. (=Paid off)
I learned a valuable lesson: our CPR practice is not just for exams, but more importantly, it can save lives.
While recalling the lifesaving procedures, David strictly preformed CPR, just as we had practiced for nights in the basement.
Teaching objectives
1. 学习从命题人角度，思考文章的立意、分析语篇和主题意义。
2. 运用主要的续写技巧ARE、十句五定等原则，进行续写情节构思。
3. 能够运用恰当的方法，评析并修改自己的作文。
原文梳理 -- 出租车上，CPR救好友
【续写原文梳理】 -- 出租车上，CPR救好友
① The entire campus was overcome by exam fever all week, with classrooms full of students practicing CPR (心肺复苏术) techniques late. Determined to do well, David and John had transformed John’s basement into a makeshift clinic. For six days straight, they practiced until midnight. They strictly performed two rescue breaths after completing 30 chest compression (按压). The night light witnessed their efforts.
④ Inside the taxi, David opened the biology textbook with CPR diagrams, eyes on notes while the taxi was speeding along the road.
Outside, dancing flowers smiled in the soft wind, unaware of the following tension inside the vehicle.
⑤ David immediately touched John’s forehead and checked if he was well, only to find his breath was weak.
⑥ The driver hit the gas. David threw himself on his knees, checking John’s pulse (脉搏) and breath – both were absent. He realized they might not make it to hospital in time.
【独立主格】
【with 复合结构】
动作练
adj做状语
无灵主语
S+V+O, doing
adj做状语
a makeshift clinic “临时诊所”
原文语言协同性：
1. Fortunately, my nights of industrious practice bore fruit. (=Paid off)
2. David kept performing CPR all the way to the hospital.
1. 幸运的是，我多日的勤奋练习终于有了结果。（=没有白费/取得了成功）
2. 大卫在前往医院的一路上都持续进行心肺复苏术。
to do做状语
原文语言协同：
主题语境 人与自我 —— 个人生活、学习与成长；人与社会 —— 社会交往、健康安全
语篇话题 本篇读后续写为记叙文，围绕中学生 David 和 John 为生物期末考试（涉及急救实操）做准备，考试途中 John 突发急病，David 设法救助展开。
主题意义 友谊的力量：David 和 John 从中学起就是形影不离的朋友，一起做各种事，为考试共同努力，在 John 突发状况时，David 毫不犹豫地救助，体现了深厚友谊在关键时刻的支撑 。
知识与实践的结合：生物期末考试要求学生展示急救程序，促使他们将课本知识运用到实践中练习心肺复苏，强调知识不能仅停留在理论层面，要能用于实际解决问题；警示人们要重视急救知识学习，关键时刻能挽救生命。
成长与责任：面对朋友的危险状况，David 从短暂惊慌到冷静施救，展现了在困境中的成长以及对朋友生命负责的态度 。
情节梳理 友谊与备考：David 和 John 自中学起是挚友，共同参与各类活动。今年生物期末考试需展示急救程序，校园陷入备考热潮，他们将 John 家地下室改造成临时诊所，连续六天练习至午夜。
赴考途中：考试当天早上，二人乘出租车去学校。David 复习急救知识，John 欣赏窗外风景。途中 David 发现 John 脸色苍白，随后 John 晕倒，脉搏和呼吸消失。
紧急求助：David 发现情况危急，让司机火速赶往最近医院，意识到可能无法及时到达。
后文续写： 情节走向 通过第一段首句 “For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over.”“David 起初因朋友突发状况惊慌失措，但专业急救训练让他迅速冷静”，由此可预测，续写思路：围绕急救过程、救援进展和情感变化展开：主要事件：进行CPR施救主要情感：紧张、担心、焦虑 -- 平静 -- 如释重负施救前（努力平静、深呼吸）→施救过程中（回忆，严格实施CPR，心怀希望和决心）→施救的结果（John有了微弱的呼吸）→情感变化和行为（relief, 不放弃，持续操作，直至抵达医院） 。此外，可简单描述司机的极力配合。
Thankfully, John was rushed to the hospital before it was too late. ”可预测，续写思路：围绕医院救治结果、人物情感变化和主题升华展开：主要人物：David, John, 主要事件：医院救治结果主要情感：David紧张、担心 -- 开心、骄傲、成就感； John 感激主题升华感悟：CPR的重要性和实际价值、友情更深厚到达医院后，立刻救治→David焦急等待，内心不安祈祷→最终得知John脱离危险，开心激动→John苏醒，微笑，感激 (落泪/拥抱)→主题：CPR和友谊
P1: David and his classmates quickly got to work.情节1：施救前的准备（心理+行为）
情节2：施救过程（动作行为+情感）情节3：施救结果（行为+心理）P2：The day after the exhibition, Ms. Sandra entered the classroom with a smile.情节1：到达医院后，救治情节2：David焦急等待
情节3：John脱离危险（行为+情感）
主题意义：CPR的重要性、实际价值+深厚友情
续写情节构思设计
启示：次要分明，人称要一致。
情节的构建要抓主要的、关键的主线，多维度构建。
平静下来
紧张、不安、担心、焦虑
松了一口气; 如释重负
决心、希望
开心、激动
情绪词汇复习
calmness -- calm
tension unease worry anxiety concern -- nervous restless
relief -- relieved;
determination hope
delight joy excitement
写作相关知识巩固复习
with + n = adv.
to one’s +n
无灵主语
独立主格结构
with + O +C 复合结构
so ... that...
情绪句型表达复习
with determination
to one’s relief
A wave of +n+ flood over sb.
Tension melt away/gave way to relief, tears of joy rolling down my cheeks.
with determination burning in one’s heart;
with a sense of calmness settling in
So delighted was I that I couldn’t contain ...
【练习】 With hope burning in my heart, I know every effort will light up the path ahead.
心中燃烧着希望，我知道每一份努力都会照亮前方的路。
练习 -- 仿写
1. 我因为担心焦虑而烦躁不安，在大厅里踱来踱去。
I grew restless with worry and concern, keeping pacing up and down in the hall.
2. 心中燃烧着决心，我立刻采取行动。
With determination burning in my heart, I sprang into action immediately.
3. 如释重负地吸一口气
let out a long and relieved breath;to his relief; breathe a sigh of relief
4. 深吸一口气，David努力让自己平静下来。
Taking a deep breath, David managed to calm himself down.
5. 紧张但很坚定的 nervous but determined
6. 手冒汗，心脏怦怦跳 with hands sweating and heart pounding wildly
7. 汗水从掌心滑落，心脏疯狂跳动，我努力集中注意力。
With sweat trickling down my palms and my heart thumping wildly, I tried to focus.
8. 如释重负感袭来，我深吸一口气，胸口的重压稍有减轻。
Relief washed over me as I breathed in deeply, the weight on my chest lifting slightly.
翻译练习
温柔抓住了他的手
努力挤出一丝微笑
心微弱地再次跳动
立刻行动起来
回忆
严格执行
练习
按压
继续、持续做
恢复了微弱的呼吸
苏醒
接管
动作表达复习
gently took his hand
manage a weak smile
heart pounds/flickered faintly again
spring into action immediately
recall / reminisce
strictly perform
practice
press the chest
continue to do/ keep doing
regain/develop a faint/weak breath
regain consciousness / come to one’s life
take over
动作的句型表达复习
1. A, B and C
2. sd did sth, doing
3. S+ V+O as sb did sth
1．Divide the main plot into 3 parts: before, during, after. 事件顺序
2．Connect to the given sentences. 与给定的句子要衔接
3．Delete the unrelated plot. 无关情节要删除
4．Generalize the repetitive plot. 原文已有描述（重复内容）要概述
5．Describe the important plot in detail to create a picture in readers’ mind.
主要情节要详细描写，构建画面感
常见的错误：
1. 人物关系：混乱，人称错误
2. 续写情节设计：不紧凑，主次不分明，无关情节冗长多余
3. 时态：描述事件过去式为主，直接引语现在时
修改的原则：
学生习作1评析
P1：For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over.
David put John lay in the car and began to perform CPR techniques. He performed two rescue breaths after completing 30 chest compression. But John didn't have any action. A sense of worry well flooded over John, he without hesitation to take the next CPR again. Tears rolling down his checks, John tried his best to save John. The drived hit the gas, went past traffic lights but didn't slowly. Everyone tried their best to save David's life. Nothing is impossible for a willing heart. But David's face turned to worse pale.
修改
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
before 部分Detail 1: For things readers already know, we need to generalize them. Could you generalize it (performed CPR procedure)Detail 2: What about the last two details Highly related For things not related, we delete them.Detail 3: The other details Necessary Add some necessary details. (express his feelings)Detail 4: Can we keep it For a simple quote, we add emotions, actions, facial expressions and so on to add to its expressiveness. (in a... tone/voice)
修改后的片段:Taking a deep breath, David managed to calm himself down. (David carefully laid John on the car seat and immediately began to perform CPR.)
修改
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
during 部分
So, what do you think of the six details Anything needs to be deleted or generalized Why
修改后的片段:
While recalling the lifesaving procedures, David carefully laid John on the car seat and immediately began to perform CPR just as they had practiced in John’s basement for days. But John showed no signs of response. A sense of worry washed over David. Without hesitation, he started another round of CPR. With sweat rolling/trickling down his cheeks, David spared no effort to save John.
修改
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
after 部分
The last one is the result. Can we keep this detail Is it reasonable in the context Why (natural response, and as we have concluded, a proper connection.)
To create a picture, we can also describe John’s expressions and response. (face, breath, pulse...)
How can we make it more vivid (描写公式: quote + emotion/action/ expression.)
提示写作逻辑: to show not to tell.
√ How can you show emotions instead of just telling readers
√ What might people the driver do when they are in such an emotion
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
修改后第一段:
For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over. Taking a deep breath, David managed to calm himself down. While recalling the lifesaving procedures, David carefully laid John on the car seat and immediately began to perform CPR just as they had practiced in John’s basement for days. But John showed no signs of response. A sense of worry washed over David. Without hesitation, he started another round of CPR. With sweat rolling/trickling down his cheeks, David spared no effort to save John. After a few rounds, John’s pale face showed a hint of color/improved slightly, and he gradually regained faint breaths and a pulse. Letting out a relieved breath, David kept doing CPY all the way to the hospital. (99words)
【group work】-- 评析修改（二）He calmed down immediately, thinking the way of CPR. Without hesitation, he decided to save John from death in the way. David was so fear that his cheeks filling with sweat. David compressed John's chest again and again, trying his best to make John awake, but failed. John closed his eyes tightly. The driver called 110 and 120, asking for help to save John. Hopefully, the road was dismissed quickly. The driver tried his best to arrive hospital with the fastest speed.修改建议：
当堂练习
He calmed down instantly, recalling the steps of CPR. Without hesitation, he resolved to use it to pull John back from the brink of death. Though fear surged through him, causing sweat to trickle down his cheeks, David began chest compressions, pressing down again and again in a desperate bid to revive his friend. But there was no response. John's eyes remained tightly shut. Fortunately, the road was cleared quickly, and the driver floored the gas, racing toward the hospital at top speed. With each passing second, David prayed that his efforts—and the speeding journey—would be enough to save John.
【group work】-- 评析修改
（三）He thought it was time to use the CPR techniques which he had practiced many times. He made a medical cases to John. He did 30 chest compression as he learned. Then, he strictly performed two rescue breaths. But it seemed that it didn't do trick. David felt anxious. His face turned pale, feeling like sitting on pins and needles. He checked his biology textbook and found he made some mistakes. He made it again. This time, he succeed. John's pulse and breath began normal. David urge the driver. sped up. He hope John will be safe.
修改建议：
He knew it was time to apply the CPR techniques he had practiced many times. He prepared to administer first aid to John. He performed 30 chest compressions as he had learned in training. Then, he strictly delivered two rescue breaths. But it seemed the efforts didn’t work. David grew anxious, his face turning pale as he felt restless and nervous. He quickly recalled the first-aid steps (注：“检查生物课本” 不符合急救场景逻辑，改为 “回忆步骤”) and realized he had made a mistake. He adjusted his technique and tried again. This time, he succeeded. John’s pulse and breathing gradually returned to normal. David urged the driver to speed up, hoping John would be safe.
【group work】-- 评析修改
（四）Practically, David used CPR techniques. A sense of calmness replacing anxiety, David used CPR as his practiced many times. In the little room of taxi, David tired his best to save his best friend. When the sunlight shooting on John's weekly face, David realized that only his effort could help them. Focusing on himself, David felt John's pulse better than before. "The hospital arrive! arrive!" Driver shouted.
修改建议：
Practically, David applied the CPR techniques. A sense of calmness replaced anxiety as David performed CPR exactly as he had practiced many times. In the cramped taxi cabin, David tried his best to save his best friend. When sunlight shot on John's pale face, David realized that only his effort could help them. Focusing on John, David felt John's pulse grow stronger than before. "The hospital is here! We're here!" the driver shouted.
【group work】-- 评析修改
（五）Anxious but determined, David decided to help John by CPR. He put John lie on the pressed John's chest and observed John's face. Luckily, John's pulse and breath came back. With eyes filled with nervousness, a sense of delight flooded over David. Then David continued to use CPR to John.
修改建议：
Anxious but determined, David decided to save John by performing CPR. He laid John flat on the seat. He compressed John's chest and observed his face closely. Thankfully, John's pulse and breath returned. Though his eyes still held traces of nervousness, a wave of delight flooded over David. Then David continued administering CPR to John.
【参考范文1】 For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over. He knelt beside John, pressing his hands against his friend’s chest. “One, two, three...” he counted under his breath, performing CPR just as they had practiced for days in John’s basement. His heart pounded, and sweat dripped down his face, but his hands moved steadily. The taxi raced ahead, weaving through traffic. After another round of compression, a faint breath escaped John’s lips. Relief flooded through him, but he kept going, determined not to stop until they made it to the hospital. Thankfully, John was rushed to the hospital before it was too late. A team of doctors and nurses swiftly sprang into action, undertaking John’s care. Soon after, the medical staff confirmed John was in a stable condition and acknowledged David’s timely CPR had been crucial to saving his life. Having regained consciousness, John saw David by his side and managed a weak smile. “Thanks, buddy,” he whispered. David gently held his friend’s hand, a wave of joy sweeping over him. They realized all those nights of practice hadn’t been just for a test — it had been for life.
Sum（小结） -- （事件发生顺序）：1．Divide the main plot into 3 parts: before, during, after. · 2．Connect to the given sentences. 3．Delete the unrelated plot. 4．Generalize the repetitive plot. 5．Describe the important plot in detail to create a picture in readers’ mind.
Homework: 评析并修改自己的作文
2025.5 青岛三模写作 讲评
When planning trips, I gathered guidebooks, eager to explore every cultural site.
At first, this felt unfamiliar and even disappointing. I grew restless with boredom, struggling to fill my days with the kind of meaningful activities I was used to.
I returned home with a fresh insight that true travel is not just about discovering the world outside, but also about uncovering a deeper peace within.
计划旅行时，我会收集旅行指南，渴望探索每一处文化景点。
起初，这让人感觉陌生，甚至令人失望。我因无聊而烦躁不安，努力想用自己习惯的那种有意义的活动来充实日子。
我回到家时，有了一个全新的感悟：真正的旅行不只是探索外部世界，更是探寻内心深处的宁静。
自主复习与检测 5min
B篇 -- 佳句背诵
【练习--佳句仿写】：1. 我因为担心焦虑而烦躁不安，在大厅里踱来踱去。
I grew restless with worry and concern, keeping pacing up and down in the hall.
励志奋斗：
1.The world seemed to say “no,” but I refused to accept defeat. With determination burning in my heart, I took matters into my own hands. 世界似乎在说 “不行”，但我拒绝接受失败。心中燃烧着决心，我自己动手解决问题. (体现面对挫折的坚定态度 ）
2. Finally, my years of industrious work bore fruit. (=Paid off)
最终，我多年的辛勤工作终于有了成果。
情感表达：
3. I was filled with hope, yet my family’s financial struggles cast a dark shadow over my dream.
我满怀希望，然而家庭的经济困境却给我的梦想蒙上了一层阴影。
主题意义：
4. But I learned a valuable lesson: my worth wasn't defined by my clothes or my lack of opportunities. It was defined by my ability to rise in the face of adversity.
但我学到了宝贵的一课：我的价值不是由我的衣着或我缺乏机会所决定的。它是由我在逆境中奋起的能力所决定的。
5. I realized that I was shaped by struggles. I was strong and determined to make a difference.
我意识到，自己是在困境中磨砺成长的。我内心强大且意志坚定，决心要有所作为。
完形填空 -- 佳句背诵
【练习--佳句仿写】 5min
1. 我因为担心焦虑而烦躁不安，在大厅里踱来踱去。
2. 心中燃烧着决心，我立刻采取行动。
3. David一边回忆着那些可以拯救生命的流程，一边严格进行CPR施救，正如我们在地下室练习的那样。
3. 幸运的是，我的辛勤练习有了成果/回报。
4. 我学到了宝贵的一课：我们的CPR练习不仅是为了考试，更能拯救生命。
I grew restless with worry, keeping pacing up and down in the hall.
With determination burning in my heart, I sprang into action immediately.
Fortunately, my nights of industrious practice bore fruit. (=Paid off)
I learned a valuable lesson: our CPR practice is not just for exams, but more importantly, it can save lives.
While recalling the lifesaving procedures, David strictly preformed CPR, just as we had practiced for nights in the basement.
Teaching objectives
1. 学习从命题人角度，思考文章的立意、分析语篇和主题意义。
2. 运用主要的续写技巧ARE、十句五定等原则，进行续写情节构思。
3. 能够运用恰当的方法，评析并修改自己的作文。
原文梳理 -- 出租车上，CPR救好友
【续写原文梳理】 -- 出租车上，CPR救好友
① The entire campus was overcome by exam fever all week, with classrooms full of students practicing CPR (心肺复苏术) techniques late. Determined to do well, David and John had transformed John’s basement into a makeshift clinic. For six days straight, they practiced until midnight. They strictly performed two rescue breaths after completing 30 chest compression (按压). The night light witnessed their efforts.
④ Inside the taxi, David opened the biology textbook with CPR diagrams, eyes on notes while the taxi was speeding along the road.
Outside, dancing flowers smiled in the soft wind, unaware of the following tension inside the vehicle.
⑤ David immediately touched John’s forehead and checked if he was well, only to find his breath was weak.
⑥ The driver hit the gas. David threw himself on his knees, checking John’s pulse (脉搏) and breath – both were absent. He realized they might not make it to hospital in time.
【独立主格】
【with 复合结构】
动作练
adj做状语
无灵主语
S+V+O, doing
adj做状语
a makeshift clinic “临时诊所”
原文语言协同性：
1. Fortunately, my nights of industrious practice bore fruit. (=Paid off)
2. David kept performing CPR all the way to the hospital.
1. 幸运的是，我多日的勤奋练习终于有了结果。（=没有白费/取得了成功）
2. 大卫在前往医院的一路上都持续进行心肺复苏术。
to do做状语
原文语言协同：
主题语境 人与自我 —— 个人生活、学习与成长；人与社会 —— 社会交往、健康安全
语篇话题 本篇读后续写为记叙文，围绕中学生 David 和 John 为生物期末考试（涉及急救实操）做准备，考试途中 John 突发急病，David 设法救助展开。
主题意义 友谊的力量：David 和 John 从中学起就是形影不离的朋友，一起做各种事，为考试共同努力，在 John 突发状况时，David 毫不犹豫地救助，体现了深厚友谊在关键时刻的支撑 。
知识与实践的结合：生物期末考试要求学生展示急救程序，促使他们将课本知识运用到实践中练习心肺复苏，强调知识不能仅停留在理论层面，要能用于实际解决问题；警示人们要重视急救知识学习，关键时刻能挽救生命。
成长与责任：面对朋友的危险状况，David 从短暂惊慌到冷静施救，展现了在困境中的成长以及对朋友生命负责的态度 。
情节梳理 友谊与备考：David 和 John 自中学起是挚友，共同参与各类活动。今年生物期末考试需展示急救程序，校园陷入备考热潮，他们将 John 家地下室改造成临时诊所，连续六天练习至午夜。
赴考途中：考试当天早上，二人乘出租车去学校。David 复习急救知识，John 欣赏窗外风景。途中 David 发现 John 脸色苍白，随后 John 晕倒，脉搏和呼吸消失。
紧急求助：David 发现情况危急，让司机火速赶往最近医院，意识到可能无法及时到达。
后文续写： 情节走向 通过第一段首句 “For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over.”“David 起初因朋友突发状况惊慌失措，但专业急救训练让他迅速冷静”，由此可预测，续写思路：围绕急救过程、救援进展和情感变化展开：主要事件：进行CPR施救主要情感：紧张、担心、焦虑 -- 平静 -- 如释重负施救前（努力平静、深呼吸）→施救过程中（回忆，严格实施CPR，心怀希望和决心）→施救的结果（John有了微弱的呼吸）→情感变化和行为（relief, 不放弃，持续操作，直至抵达医院） 。此外，可简单描述司机的极力配合。
Thankfully, John was rushed to the hospital before it was too late. ”可预测，续写思路：围绕医院救治结果、人物情感变化和主题升华展开：主要人物：David, John, 主要事件：医院救治结果主要情感：David紧张、担心 -- 开心、骄傲、成就感； John 感激主题升华感悟：CPR的重要性和实际价值、友情更深厚到达医院后，立刻救治→David焦急等待，内心不安祈祷→最终得知John脱离危险，开心激动→John苏醒，微笑，感激 (落泪/拥抱)→主题：CPR和友谊
P1: David and his classmates quickly got to work.情节1：施救前的准备（心理+行为）
情节2：施救过程（动作行为+情感）情节3：施救结果（行为+心理）P2：The day after the exhibition, Ms. Sandra entered the classroom with a smile.情节1：到达医院后，救治情节2：David焦急等待
情节3：John脱离危险（行为+情感）
主题意义：CPR的重要性、实际价值+深厚友情
续写情节构思设计
启示：次要分明，人称要一致。
情节的构建要抓主要的、关键的主线，多维度构建。
平静下来
紧张、不安、担心、焦虑
松了一口气; 如释重负
决心、希望
开心、激动
情绪词汇复习
calmness -- calm
tension unease worry anxiety concern -- nervous restless
relief -- relieved;
determination hope
delight joy excitement
写作相关知识巩固复习
with + n = adv.
to one’s +n
无灵主语
独立主格结构
with + O +C 复合结构
so ... that...
情绪句型表达复习
with determination
to one’s relief
A wave of +n+ flood over sb.
Tension melt away/gave way to relief, tears of joy rolling down my cheeks.
with determination burning in one’s heart;
with a sense of calmness settling in
So delighted was I that I couldn’t contain ...
【练习】 With hope burning in my heart, I know every effort will light up the path ahead.
心中燃烧着希望，我知道每一份努力都会照亮前方的路。
练习 -- 仿写
1. 我因为担心焦虑而烦躁不安，在大厅里踱来踱去。
I grew restless with worry and concern, keeping pacing up and down in the hall.
2. 心中燃烧着决心，我立刻采取行动。
With determination burning in my heart, I sprang into action immediately.
3. 如释重负地吸一口气
let out a long and relieved breath;to his relief; breathe a sigh of relief
4. 深吸一口气，David努力让自己平静下来。
Taking a deep breath, David managed to calm himself down.
5. 紧张但很坚定的 nervous but determined
6. 手冒汗，心脏怦怦跳 with hands sweating and heart pounding wildly
7. 汗水从掌心滑落，心脏疯狂跳动，我努力集中注意力。
With sweat trickling down my palms and my heart thumping wildly, I tried to focus.
8. 如释重负感袭来，我深吸一口气，胸口的重压稍有减轻。
Relief washed over me as I breathed in deeply, the weight on my chest lifting slightly.
翻译练习
温柔抓住了他的手
努力挤出一丝微笑
心微弱地再次跳动
立刻行动起来
回忆
严格执行
练习
按压
继续、持续做
恢复了微弱的呼吸
苏醒
接管
动作表达复习
gently took his hand
manage a weak smile
heart pounds/flickered faintly again
spring into action immediately
recall / reminisce
strictly perform
practice
press the chest
continue to do/ keep doing
regain/develop a faint/weak breath
regain consciousness / come to one’s life
take over
动作的句型表达复习
1. A, B and C
2. sd did sth, doing
3. S+ V+O as sb did sth
1．Divide the main plot into 3 parts: before, during, after. 事件顺序
2．Connect to the given sentences. 与给定的句子要衔接
3．Delete the unrelated plot. 无关情节要删除
4．Generalize the repetitive plot. 原文已有描述（重复内容）要概述
5．Describe the important plot in detail to create a picture in readers’ mind.
主要情节要详细描写，构建画面感
常见的错误：
1. 人物关系：混乱，人称错误
2. 续写情节设计：不紧凑，主次不分明，无关情节冗长多余
3. 时态：描述事件过去式为主，直接引语现在时
修改的原则：
学生习作1评析
P1：For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over.
David put John lay in the car and began to perform CPR techniques. He performed two rescue breaths after completing 30 chest compression. But John didn't have any action. A sense of worry well flooded over John, he without hesitation to take the next CPR again. Tears rolling down his checks, John tried his best to save John. The drived hit the gas, went past traffic lights but didn't slowly. Everyone tried their best to save David's life. Nothing is impossible for a willing heart. But David's face turned to worse pale.
修改
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
before 部分Detail 1: For things readers already know, we need to generalize them. Could you generalize it (performed CPR procedure)Detail 2: What about the last two details Highly related For things not related, we delete them.Detail 3: The other details Necessary Add some necessary details. (express his feelings)Detail 4: Can we keep it For a simple quote, we add emotions, actions, facial expressions and so on to add to its expressiveness. (in a... tone/voice)
修改后的片段:Taking a deep breath, David managed to calm himself down. (David carefully laid John on the car seat and immediately began to perform CPR.)
修改
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
during 部分
So, what do you think of the six details Anything needs to be deleted or generalized Why
修改后的片段:
While recalling the lifesaving procedures, David carefully laid John on the car seat and immediately began to perform CPR just as they had practiced in John’s basement for days. But John showed no signs of response. A sense of worry washed over David. Without hesitation, he started another round of CPR. With sweat rolling/trickling down his cheeks, David spared no effort to save John.
修改
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
after 部分
The last one is the result. Can we keep this detail Is it reasonable in the context Why (natural response, and as we have concluded, a proper connection.)
To create a picture, we can also describe John’s expressions and response. (face, breath, pulse...)
How can we make it more vivid (描写公式: quote + emotion/action/ expression.)
提示写作逻辑: to show not to tell.
√ How can you show emotions instead of just telling readers
√ What might people the driver do when they are in such an emotion
续写部分：The sequence —— 发现问题，解决问题
修改后第一段:
For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over. Taking a deep breath, David managed to calm himself down. While recalling the lifesaving procedures, David carefully laid John on the car seat and immediately began to perform CPR just as they had practiced in John’s basement for days. But John showed no signs of response. A sense of worry washed over David. Without hesitation, he started another round of CPR. With sweat rolling/trickling down his cheeks, David spared no effort to save John. After a few rounds, John’s pale face showed a hint of color/improved slightly, and he gradually regained faint breaths and a pulse. Letting out a relieved breath, David kept doing CPY all the way to the hospital. (99words)
【group work】-- 评析修改（二）He calmed down immediately, thinking the way of CPR. Without hesitation, he decided to save John from death in the way. David was so fear that his cheeks filling with sweat. David compressed John's chest again and again, trying his best to make John awake, but failed. John closed his eyes tightly. The driver called 110 and 120, asking for help to save John. Hopefully, the road was dismissed quickly. The driver tried his best to arrive hospital with the fastest speed.修改建议：
当堂练习
He calmed down instantly, recalling the steps of CPR. Without hesitation, he resolved to use it to pull John back from the brink of death. Though fear surged through him, causing sweat to trickle down his cheeks, David began chest compressions, pressing down again and again in a desperate bid to revive his friend. But there was no response. John's eyes remained tightly shut. Fortunately, the road was cleared quickly, and the driver floored the gas, racing toward the hospital at top speed. With each passing second, David prayed that his efforts—and the speeding journey—would be enough to save John.
【group work】-- 评析修改
（三）He thought it was time to use the CPR techniques which he had practiced many times. He made a medical cases to John. He did 30 chest compression as he learned. Then, he strictly performed two rescue breaths. But it seemed that it didn't do trick. David felt anxious. His face turned pale, feeling like sitting on pins and needles. He checked his biology textbook and found he made some mistakes. He made it again. This time, he succeed. John's pulse and breath began normal. David urge the driver. sped up. He hope John will be safe.
修改建议：
He knew it was time to apply the CPR techniques he had practiced many times. He prepared to administer first aid to John. He performed 30 chest compressions as he had learned in training. Then, he strictly delivered two rescue breaths. But it seemed the efforts didn’t work. David grew anxious, his face turning pale as he felt restless and nervous. He quickly recalled the first-aid steps (注：“检查生物课本” 不符合急救场景逻辑，改为 “回忆步骤”) and realized he had made a mistake. He adjusted his technique and tried again. This time, he succeeded. John’s pulse and breathing gradually returned to normal. David urged the driver to speed up, hoping John would be safe.
【group work】-- 评析修改
（四）Practically, David used CPR techniques. A sense of calmness replacing anxiety, David used CPR as his practiced many times. In the little room of taxi, David tired his best to save his best friend. When the sunlight shooting on John's weekly face, David realized that only his effort could help them. Focusing on himself, David felt John's pulse better than before. "The hospital arrive! arrive!" Driver shouted.
修改建议：
Practically, David applied the CPR techniques. A sense of calmness replaced anxiety as David performed CPR exactly as he had practiced many times. In the cramped taxi cabin, David tried his best to save his best friend. When sunlight shot on John's pale face, David realized that only his effort could help them. Focusing on John, David felt John's pulse grow stronger than before. "The hospital is here! We're here!" the driver shouted.
【group work】-- 评析修改
（五）Anxious but determined, David decided to help John by CPR. He put John lie on the pressed John's chest and observed John's face. Luckily, John's pulse and breath came back. With eyes filled with nervousness, a sense of delight flooded over David. Then David continued to use CPR to John.
修改建议：
Anxious but determined, David decided to save John by performing CPR. He laid John flat on the seat. He compressed John's chest and observed his face closely. Thankfully, John's pulse and breath returned. Though his eyes still held traces of nervousness, a wave of delight flooded over David. Then David continued administering CPR to John.
【参考范文1】 For a second, panic seized David, but his training took over. He knelt beside John, pressing his hands against his friend’s chest. “One, two, three...” he counted under his breath, performing CPR just as they had practiced for days in John’s basement. His heart pounded, and sweat dripped down his face, but his hands moved steadily. The taxi raced ahead, weaving through traffic. After another round of compression, a faint breath escaped John’s lips. Relief flooded through him, but he kept going, determined not to stop until they made it to the hospital. Thankfully, John was rushed to the hospital before it was too late. A team of doctors and nurses swiftly sprang into action, undertaking John’s care. Soon after, the medical staff confirmed John was in a stable condition and acknowledged David’s timely CPR had been crucial to saving his life. Having regained consciousness, John saw David by his side and managed a weak smile. “Thanks, buddy,” he whispered. David gently held his friend’s hand, a wave of joy sweeping over him. They realized all those nights of practice hadn’t been just for a test — it had been for life.
Sum（小结） -- （事件发生顺序）：1．Divide the main plot into 3 parts: before, during, after. · 2．Connect to the given sentences. 3．Delete the unrelated plot. 4．Generalize the repetitive plot. 5．Describe the important plot in detail to create a picture in readers’ mind.
Homework: 评析并修改自己的作文