结合高考阅卷谈英语作文提升策略 课件（共52张）-2025届高三英语复习专项

(共52张PPT)
结合高考阅卷谈英语作文提升策略
高考阅卷
续写备考策略
应用文备考策略
续写阅卷
读后续写 评价表
评价维度 指标
评价标准
评价(好/不好的表现)
内容
(What)
主题
是否与前文一致
是否符合社会主义核心价值观
情节
衔接性 (前文与续文、两个段首句与两段续文；第一段续文 结尾与第二段首句之间)
合理性 (是否违背常识常理 是否违背原文逻辑意义 )
完整性 (故事各部分是否齐全 是否续写了高潮、转折、结 局 )
创新性 (较高要求，以不违背前三项内容为前提)
方法
(How)
语篇
是否呈现出典型的故事语篇特征 (故事结构完整；常使用过 去时态；描述性语言；评注性语言；等)
语言
正确性：语法正确 (句型、用词、搭配、时态、主谓一致、 指代一致等)
丰富性：使用的语言手段是否丰富多样 (简单句、并列句、 复合句、非谓语、逻辑连接手段等)
得体性：所使用的语言手段是否符合语境需要 是否地道自 然 是否与原文风格一致
流畅性：内容与逻辑是否连贯、流畅
Coordination in Mind 思想协同
Coordination in Logic 逻辑协同 Coordination in Language 语言协同
Read for the theme.
（确定主 题）
Read for the plot.
（定位线 索）
Outline the possible plots or events in each paragraph.
（构思续写情节，搭建 结构支架）
Write based on the outline and use
sentence patterns.
（运用用句型模板，
落笔成文）
Steps for continuation writing
Step1 Step2
Step3
Step4
01
03
04
按五个档次进行 评分
虑，具体为：
（1）创造内容的质
本题总分为25分，量，续写的完整性以
及与原文情境的融洽 度。
（2）使用词汇和语 法结构的准确性，恰 当性和多样性。
（3）上下句的衔接
性和上下文的连贯性。
评分时，先根据 文章的内容和语 言初步确定其所 属档次，然后以 该档次的要求来 衡量，确定或调 整档次，最后给 分。
评分时还应注意（1） 所续写短文的词数应 为150左右（词数不 少 于 120）；（2） 续写与标点符号是 语言准确性的一个方 面，评分时，应视其 对交际的影响程度予 以考虑。英、美拼写
和词汇用法均可。(3）
如书写较差以致影 响交际，可将分数降 低一个档次。
02
阅卷评分时，应内主要涵 从内容、语言表达和
篇章结构三个方面考
颜值
2024年新高考一卷原题复现
I met Gunter on a cold, wet and unforgettable evening in September. I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference. Due to a big storm, my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half. l touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague. The moment I got off the plane, I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.
That was when I met Gunter. I told him where I was going, but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station. I thought my pronunciation was the problem, so I explained again more slowly, but he still looked confused. When I was about to give up, Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend. After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century, Gunter put his phone down and started the car.
Finally, with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station. Thankfully, there was a long queue (队列) still waiting to board the bus. Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus, turned around, and looked at me with a big smile on his face. “We made it,” he said.
Just then I realized that I had zero cash in my wallet. I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard. He tried it several times, but the card machine just did not play along. A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out.
At this moment, Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station. There, at the entrance, was a cash machine. I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the machine, and popped my card in, only to read the message: “Out of order. Sorry.”
注意：
1. 续写词数应为 150 左右
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para. 1
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news..
Para. 2
Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called
Gunter as promised.
读后续写评分原则（Range Finder）
评分时，先根据内容、语言、逻辑与篇章结构总体评价初步确定其所属档 次，然后以该档次的要求来综合衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。具体为：
(1) 创造内容的质量，续写的完整性以及与原文情景的融洽度；
(2) 使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性；
(3) 上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
五档 25 24 23 22 21 无阅读阻力，读起来很爽，不要怕给高分 四档 20 19 18 17 16 隔三岔五有点错，个别严重错
三档 15 14 13 12 11 词汇匮乏，马马虎虎，中不溜秋
二档 10 9 8 7 6 隔三岔五有点对，糊里糊涂，偶尔有点英文影子 一档 5 4 3 2 1 一塌糊涂
0分卷 空白卷；所写内容全部抄自原文与题目要求毫不相关
行数：不要求段落均分，只需要完成写作任务即可
用词：众词平等，不追求所谓词的高大上 注意事项：（1）少于120词，酌情扣分
（2）单词拼写和标点符号属于写作规范的重要方面，对交际程度
的影响予以考虑
（3）书写较差以致影响交际的，酌情扣分→标记问题卷，由专家组定夺
标准解读
阅卷要求
1. 高考阅卷对于续写考查“读写协同”能力，即学生的阅读和学习能力，需 要在续写中延续前文风格，包括内容、逻辑和用词三方面；评分时综合考虑 内容、语言（词汇语法）和篇章结构三个维度，讲究global story原则。
2. 字数小于120词，酌情给分，不能直接降档处理，仍然按照global story的评 分原则给分。
3. 不能因书写不够美观而扣分。书写较差以致影响交际的酌情扣分。
4. 零分卷标准：白卷；非英语作答；抄前文/阅读；与主题无关的文字（如果 是考前硬背的范文，则按照和高考作文有关的内容给分）；只要有自己的创作
（非抄袭）即给分。
略
策
备
考
具体做法
步步为营的专题训练
点滴积累的基础训练
图 片
佳
句
积 累
改写
仿写
扩写
逻
辑
衔 接
润 色
动
作
链
训练
show
，
don't tell
哲理式
结尾
1）Mild breeze wiping my face, a sudden warmth just hit me. 2）The guard and I walked out quietly, leaving them alone.“What a wonderful night!” the guard said to me with great delight.
情景 交融
Heart beating wildly, Michael walked to Jenny and hugged her tightly.
自然 结尾
佳句积累
ending
1）It’s love that brings them together. 2）Love may be late, but never absent.
It is inevitable to encounter hardship, but love is what supports life forever.
who is called
who is called
Rewrite the sentences with non-predicates when possible!
Tom has a lovely dog called Seven.
We will read a story about the dog and a courier(快递员） called Jack.
改写升级： 非谓语
Story Time
（1）非谓语；（2）3段 ； （3）150词 ；（4）增加细节。
Tom has a dog called Seven. A courier called Jack often delivers something to Tom. Being very large, Seven looks kind of scary. Every time Jack came, the dog tried to bite him. Having been told many times to stay away from Seven, Jack just didn't listen to it. Bitten twice by Seven, Jack refused to deliver anything to Tom unless he sent his dog away. However, having bitten Jack twice, Seven didn't seem sorry about that at all.
One day, a fire broke out in the house and Seven was trapped. It didn't know what to do. Seven barked for help only to find Jack passing by. Seeing Seven in the house, Jack broke a window to let Seven out. Jack's brave act made Seven get out of danger. Having gone through the fire together, Seven and Jack became friends. There will be a party to be held this weekend to celebrate their friendship.
Now, meeting each other ever y day makes their friendship deeper and deeper.
专题训练一： 衔接点 = 采分点
衔接点
=
采分点
专题训练二：润色之：因“状”而美
Polish
Polish
专题训练二：润色之：因“状”而美
01.
第1种修辞：比喻
02.
03.
第2种修辞：拟人
第3种修辞：夸张
专题训练二：润色之：修辞 Rhetorical devices
目录
Simile： It is a figure of speech which makes a comparison between two unlike elements having at least one quality or characteristic in common.
明喻是比喻修辞的一种，在强调两种事物的相似点的同时，本体、喻 体、喻词都出现，且能使语言生动形象。
喻词有like, as , as...as, as if, compared to, be similar to等。
The girl looks like an otter(水獭).
本体 喻词 喻体
Metaphor： It is a figure of speech containing an implied comparison, in which a word or phrase ordinarily and primarily used of one thing is applied to another. Unlike simile, a word or a phrase
or as.
种事物，本 喻词。暗
that compares one thing
暗喻是比喻修辞 体喻体都出现，中间 喻的典型形式为：甲
to another, using the words like
的一种，用一种事物比喻另一 常用喻词“是”等连接，有时不用 是乙，而不用like, as等喻词。
Personification 拟人：It gives human form of feelings to animals, or le and personal attributes(赋予) to inanimate (无生 命的) objects, or to ideas and abstractions(抽象).
Personification与汉语拟人完全相同，就是赋予物以人 的语言属性。这种拟人化的修辞手法读起来使人感到特别 形象生动，富有情趣。
Hyperbole：It is the deliberate use of overstatement or understatement to achieve emphasis.
夸张是比喻修辞的一种，是以言过其实的说法表达强调的目 的，它可以加强语势，增加表达效果。
She cried so long that she made a lake.
她哭了这么久，泪流如河（造出了一个湖）。
专题训练三：动作链+动作面
动作链
在描写动作时，要细化动作，把动作分解成一连串细微的动作， 形成 ，这样人物更有画面感，立体感。
应对策略：设计由易到难，有控制到开放的活动培养学生细化 动作的能力。
※ 让学生不仅表现“在做什么”， 而要表现 “在怎样做”。
读后续写作为记叙文，其核心只有一个，那就是“人”。 因此一切的笔墨，都是为了塑造人物形象，使人物更加 饱满。
How to make your writing vivid and attractive
最为重要的描写有五类：环境、动作、心理、情绪、语言
专题训练三
方法一：构建“动作链”
比如：上出租车这个动作, He got into the taxi.
【拦车】→【上车】→【告诉司机目的地】
He hailed a taxi, got into it and told the driver his destination.
再比如：2017年6月浙江卷读后续写中写到“用肉把狼引开”的情节
【拿出肉】→【瞄准狼】→【扔出去】
He took out the meat, aimed at the wolf and
threw
it straight to the fierce animal.
形成动作链:
冲向前 蹲下来 一把抱住
She dashed forward, knelt down and gathered her son into her arms.
①“动作链”结构1:
主+谓1..., 谓2..., and 谓3....
1. 看到走丢的儿子，她将其一把抱住。 可以把“抱”这个动作按时间拆分为：
1. 受到老师的责备和大家的嘲笑，他感到相当的不安和沮丧。
动作1 动作2 动作3
Blamed by his teacher and laughed at by everyone,
he felt rather upset and depressed.
②“动作链”结构2:
doing/done...(分词作状语), 主+谓
show， tell
“展示而非讲述”是一种可适用于各种文本的写作技巧。
是读者通过作者对人物的动作、语言、想法、感官与 感觉的描写，甚至包括自然风景、场面气氛等细小环节或情节 的烘托，使场景戏剧化。而不是作者的说明或总结来体验故事。
是作者提供信息，经常是对事件宽泛的、抽象的总结。
“展示而非讲述”意味着一个说故事的人不解释( interpret)， 而是挑选启发性的细节( select revealing details),塑造鲜明的人 物角色，让情节扣人心弦。
专题训练四：to show, not to tell
His
were sweating;
with a heavy/sinking
palms heart;
His
tightened with tension;
Tears
welled up in his
throat
eyes/
blurred his eyes. His
face
turned red with shyness.
His
it up;
curving into a smile
;
His
face l lips eyes
twinkled with joy; He opened
arms
with
a broad smile.
postive feelings
negative feelings
专题训练四：to show, not to tell
Write the 1st paragraph about 70 words including the skills summarized.
One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “the polar bear capital of the world” — the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada.
Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears — like all wild animals — should be photographed from a safe distance. When I’m face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes, that is easier said than done. This was one of those times.
As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled our garlic bread.
The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts（柱子).
Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though — he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws.
I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter（相遇）, I took some pictures of the bear.
Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through 30 more minutes of the bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray(喷洒). The spray burns the bears’ eyes, but doesn’t hurt them. So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar, the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.
Paragraph 1: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp.
Paragraph 2: At that very moment, the helicopter arrived
Consolidation 2020浙江省高考7月卷
A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. Roaring even more angrily this time, he smashed his paws crazily against the wire fence, trying to stab us with his sharp claws. Panicked as we were, Elli and I screamed at the top of our lungs, and waved our fists at him in an attempt to scare him away. To our disappointment, all these efforts were in vain. The bear violently dashed against the wooden posts which were evidently on the edge of collapsing! I flinched back and huddled with Elli tightly with our teeth chattering. Chilly winds whipping our faces, I could hear nothing but the sound of our hearts beating violently in our chests.
Reference
Facial expressions Physical responses Natural environment
专题训练五：续写微专题①
小情景微翻译
续写微专题：小情景微翻译
2. 恰到好处的安慰与鼓励
2022年全国卷I ——
“我”对打算放弃比赛的David的鼓励（提起过去的付出和众人的认可）
I m_e_n_t_io_n_e_d_ last year’s Campus Mini Marathon, which w o_n_p_e_o_p_l_e’_s_p_r_a_is_e fo_r
_h_is d_et_e_r_m_i_n_a_ti_o_n_a_n_d p_er_s_e_v_e_ra_n_c_e_. His face began to l_ig_h_t_e_n . He added that even the coaches he didn’t know _t_h_u_m_b_e_d_u_p__a_t h_i_m__. The whistle went off and the competitors began to take their places. To my joy, David slowly _r_o_s_e_t_o_h_i_s_f_e_e_t .
我提到去年的校园迷你马拉松，这场比赛赢得了众人对他的决心和毅力的赞扬。他的 脸庞亮了起来。他补充说，甚至他不认识的一位教练都对他竖起了大拇指。哨声响了， 参赛者各就各位。让我高兴的是，David慢慢地站了起来。
续写微专题：小情景微翻译
3. 关于小动物的生动描写
浙江卷2023年首考——拯救一只蜂鸟
___H_e_a_ri_n_g_a__fa_i_n_t _b_uz_z_i_n_g_s_o_u_n_d____, I instantly turned to see the familiar hummingbird
__h_o_v_e_ri_n_g_i_n_t_h_e_a_ir____, its __ti_n_y_w_i_n_g_s_b_e_a_ti_n_g_r_a_p_id_l_y_a_s_i_t _su_r_v_e_y_e_d_t_h_e_s_ce_n_e____. With a
__s_qu_e_a_k_i_n_g_c_a_ll__, it __d_iv_e_d__to_w__a_rd_s_m__e___ and hovered before my face. It seemed as if the
bird was waiting for me, i_ts b_e_ad_y e_y_e_s_lo_c_k_e_d o_n_m in_e as if_t_r_y_in_g to c_o_n_v_ey s_o_m_e d_e_e_p_,_u_n_s_p_o_k_e_n_g_r_a_ti_tu_d_e__. I couldn’t help but feel __a__s_u_rg_e__o_f _re_l_ie_f_a_n_d__aw__e__ at the sight of this sound and grateful creature.
听到微弱的嗡嗡声，我立刻转头，看到了一只熟悉的蜂鸟盘旋在空中，它小巧的翅膀 快速拍打着，勘察着现场。它尖叫了一声，随即朝我飞来，盘旋在我面前。这只鸟好 像在等着我，他珠子一般晶亮的眼睛锁定着我，仿佛在试着表达一些深刻的、无法言 说的感激之情。看到这只安好又感恩的小生物，我不禁感到一阵欣慰和敬畏之感。
专题训练五：续写微专题②
过程具体化
微专题：过程具体化（体育）
游泳比赛
(How to swim )
I jumped into the water, kicked my legs and stretched my arms as far as I could. The first few laps ( 圈 ) went smoothly, but as I approached the halfway mark, my arms and legs were burning with exertion (费劲), and my breaths were coming in short gasps (气喘吁吁). Despite the physical discomfort, I refused to give up. I pushed myself harder and harder, trying to maintain my pace (保持节奏) and keep my stroke steady (划水稳定). As I made my final turn and headed for the finish line, I could hear the cheers of the crowd and the encouraging shouts of my coach and friend, which gave me a boost of energy. Finally, I reached the finish line. I was exhausted, but also proud of myself for finishing the race.
微专题：过程具体化（美育）
Snow Bentley拍摄雪花
(How to produce a perfect photo )
Despite the new-found fame, Snowflake Bentley simply made up his mind to produce a perfect photo. Whenever it snowed, he would wait hours for just the right crystal. While neighbors sat by the fireplace, Willie stormed out of his room, stood at the barn door and held out the black tray to catch snowflakes. Day by day/By trial and error, he tried new experiments to adjust the angles and frame the photo (构图) in order to capture the most striking photo. One day, Bentley worked his magic and eventually developed a perfectly clear photograph.
微专题：过程具体化（劳动教育）
兄妹俩开展沙滩清洁环保行动
(How to appeal to more people to take action )
Quickly finishing their dinner, the pair went upstairs and started planning. Maria and Peter decided to take advantage of the Internet. “Maybe we can write an article to arouse people’s awareness.” Maria proposed (提议). “Good idea! We can also make a video!” Peter added. The next few hours witnessed their heated discussion and growing confidence in a clean and beautiful coast. The next day, they went to the beach and filmed a short video showing plastic bags lying on the beach and floating in the sea. Peter, who was good at writing, wrote an article talking about the present situation of the beach and asking people to take part in the clean-up.
微专题：过程具体化（智育）
2024年浙江首考：Mind trick解决实际问题
(How to apply mind trick )
Eva decided to use the same trick to deal with the school building. Just like she had broken down the mile into smaller goals, she realized that she could break down the school building into smaller sections. Instead of trying to navigate (导航) the entire building at once, she would focus on one floor at a time. She made note of where her classrooms were, as well as the locations of the library, cafeteria, and gym. She continued this process for each floor of the building. (具体描述如何应用 mind trick) Over time, her efforts paid off. By breaking down the building into smaller sections and using various strategies, Eva had overcome her poor sense of direction.
受时间/篇幅限制 & 突出重点的需求，牢记一个原则：所有的 描写都是服务于主题，把握好描写的度，万千不能面面俱到。
平日功夫：
1.在经典名著阅读中寻找优美语言，诵读与欣赏。
2.在读后续写精彩范例中汲取描写灵感，背诵与仿写。
3.在平时的阅读文本中挖掘好词佳句，积累与模仿。
4.在日常的读写训练中找到改进方向，打磨与提升。
读后续写：教学反拨
1. 本题总分为15分，按五个档次进行评分
五档 漂漂亮亮 15 14 13 基本没错，读起来很爽
四档 清清楚楚 12 11 10 隔三岔五有点错，偶尔有点错
三档 马马虎虎 9 8 7 半对半错 中不溜秋，一半是海水，一半是火焰 二档 糊里糊涂 6 5 4 隔三岔五有点对，知道什么是英文，结构偶尔对 一档 一塌糊涂 3 2 1 基本没对，单词的堆砌， 没有任何意义
2. 评分时，应主要从内容、词汇语法和篇章结构三个方面考虑，具体为：
(1) 创造内容的质量，续写的完整性以及与原文情景的融洽度；
(2) 使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性；
(3) 上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
3. 特别提醒——鼓励给高分
应用文评分原则（Range Finder）
内容（基础）
语言（根本）
结构（关键）
优秀作文
写全---要点完整
写对---句子准确
写好---语篇措辞
（切忌刻意地求新求异，要用符合学生认知和阅历水平的 表达，要把最简单最常用的词汇用活，用得生动，贴切， 自然和地道）
应用文写作
1. To his surprise, the little girl knows so many things.（使用名 词性从句）
2. He did not know what had happened until he had read the
news in the newspaper.(使用强调句型)
3. I passed the physics exam because of your help.(用虚拟语气）
What surprises him is that the little girl knows so many things.
Practice
怎样使用较丰富的句式和高级词汇
It was not until he had read the news in the newspaper that he knew what had happened.
I couldn’t have passed the physics exam but for your help.
写作建议
（一）书写规范卷面美
（二）精心布局谋好篇
（三）要点完整控篇幅
（四）过渡词语行文紧凑
（五）认真复查把好关
应用文微专题
活动过程具体化
应用文微专题：活动过程具体化
1.shareing housework: “give the rooms a thorough (彻底的) cleaning”
(1) collected all the books, newpapers and other things scattered (散落) in the rooms and put them in place; (2) wiped the dust off all the furniture; (3) swept and mopped (拖地) the floors;
感受1: Tired as I was, I felt a stronge sense of achievement.
感受2: Seeing all the rooms tidy and floors shining, my mother gave me a thumbs-up sign.
2.“getting to know the plants around us”
(1) began with a 30-minute instruction; (2) knew our hands-on tasks and basic principles of scientific observation; (3) were divided into five groups, explored/observed/compared different kinds of local tree species and shared unique views with teammates; (4) consult the professional biology teacher about anything confusing
Thanks for your attention!