丽水、湖州、衢州2025年11月三地市高三教学质量检测
读后续写二次开发学案教师版
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整短文。
The girls sat under their sign in the park, which read “Decorate Your Bike Here!” Park managers had set up a Bike Parade. Bella and Mia planned to earn money by decorating kids’ bikes for the event.
Mia’s dad, an inventor, had given them a basket of bells, whistles, gadgets (小配件) and spare parts. Bella, who loves painting, brought paints, brushes, stickers, feathers and other decorations. They had already decorated a few bikes, but Bella felt frustrated.
“Your mechanical things are better,” Bella grumbled to Mia, watching her friend easily assemble the parts of a fancy bell. She held up her own works — colorful flags and a dragon-painted horn — and sighed, wishing they had more use. “The horn sounds like an annoying goose, not a dragon!” she complained. Mia laughed out loud, truly delighted by the funny sound, and confidently told Bella the customer would find it charming.
Just then, Bella looked at the bike bell she’d been trying to assemble. “See Every mechanical thing I try fails!” she murmured. Mia leaned over to offer suggestions. Bella tried again, but the pieces still wouldn’t work. Her frustration grew. “I don’t know what I’m doing!” she cried, throwing the bell onto the grass and sitting back beside it, defeated. “Try again, Bella! You can do this,” Mia encouraged gently. Bella kept her eyes shut, hoping no customers would come and pretending she wasn’t a total failure.
But soon a shadow blocked her sun. Her brother Leo and his friend Izzy stood there. “Your bikes need decorating!” Mia announced before Bella could speak. “That’s why we’re here!” Izzy smiled. Bella’s mouth fell open in surprise, but she quickly closed it, afraid to look silly.
After discussing ideas, Mia sent the boys away. She grabbed Bella’s arm and said, “We’ll make these the coolest bikes. You do Izzy’s, and I’ll do Leo’s. Come on!”
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150个左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
“I can’t!” Bella frowned, her heart sinking.
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When Leo and Izzy returned, their eyes widened.
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【原文翻译】
女孩们坐在公园的指示牌下,牌子上写着 “自行车装饰服务”。公园管理者组织了一场自行车游行活动,贝拉(Bella)和米娅(Mia)计划通过为活动中的孩子们装饰自行车来赚钱。
米娅的爸爸是位发明家,给了她们一篮子铃铛、哨子、小配件和备用零件;热爱绘画的贝拉则带来了颜料、画笔、贴纸、羽毛和其他装饰用品。她们已经装饰了几辆自行车,可贝拉却感到很沮丧。
“你那些机械小玩意儿比我的好用多了,” 贝拉一边抱怨着对米娅说,一边看着好友轻松地把一个精致铃铛的零件组装好。她举起自己的作品 —— 彩色小旗和一个画着龙的喇叭 —— 叹了口气,真希望这些东西能更实用些。“这喇叭听起来像烦人的鹅叫,根本不像龙吼!” 她不满地说。米娅哈哈大笑起来,被这滑稽的声音逗得真心觉得有趣,她信心满满地告诉贝拉,顾客一定会觉得这很可爱。
就在这时,贝拉看向自己一直试图组装的自行车铃铛。“你看?我每次碰机械类的东西都搞砸!” 她小声嘀咕道。米娅凑过去给出建议,贝拉又试了一次,可零件还是装不起来。她的沮丧越来越重。“我根本不知道自己在做什么!” 她喊了一声,把铃铛扔到草地上,然后坐在旁边,一副垂头丧气的样子。“再试试,贝拉!你能做到的,” 米娅温柔地鼓励道。贝拉紧闭双眼,盼着别再有顾客过来,也假装自己没那么一无是处。
可没过多久,一道影子挡住了她面前的阳光。她的弟弟利奥(Leo)和他的朋友伊西(Izzy)站在那里。“你们的自行车需要装饰!” 没等贝拉开口,米娅就抢先说道。“我们就是来装饰的!” 伊西笑着说。贝拉惊讶得张大了嘴,但很快又闭上了,怕显得傻气。
讨论完装饰想法后,米娅让男孩们先走开。她抓住贝拉的胳膊说:“我们要把这两辆自行车做成最酷的。你负责装饰伊西的,我来弄利奥的。加油!”
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
1. 读情节
开端:公园管理者组织自行车游行活动,Bella 和 Mia 计划为孩子装饰自行车赚钱。Mia 擅长机械配件组装,Bella 热爱绘画但不擅长机械操作。
发展:Bella 尝试组装铃铛失败,自己设计的装饰(彩色旗帜、龙纹喇叭)也因实用性不足让她沮丧,甚至觉得自己是 “失败者”。
转折:Bella 的弟弟 Leo 和他的朋友 Izzy 前来寻求自行车装饰服务,Mia 主动分配任务,让 Bella 负责装饰 Izzy 的车,Bella 却因自我怀疑直言 “我不行”。
续写开端:描写 Bella 的退缩与内心挣扎,Mia 的耐心鼓励与方法引导,Bella 如何结合自身绘画优势,克服对机械的恐惧,完成自行车装饰。
续写结局:描写 Leo 和 Izzy 看到装饰后的惊喜反应,Bella 获得认可后的自信重拾,升华 “发挥自身优势”“朋友鼓励成就成长”“接纳不足方能突破” 的主题。
2. 读人物
Bella:有绘画天赋(擅长涂色、贴纸、创意设计),但缺乏自信(害怕失败、否定自我),内心渴望被认可,在鼓励下能突破自我局限。
Mia:乐观自信(擅长机械组装,相信 Bella 的能力),善于鼓励(耐心引导、肯定朋友优势),懂得分工协作,是推动 Bella 成长的关键。
Leo & Izzy:活泼开朗的小顾客,他们的认可为 Bella 的自信重建提供了直接动力,是情节落地的重要角色。
3. 读时态
全文以一般过去时为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突:Bella 的 “绘画装饰” 与 Mia 的 “机械配件” 在实用性上的对比;Bella 组装机械配件的挫败与完成装饰任务的需求之间的矛盾。
内在冲突:Bella “自身绘画优势” 与 “机械操作短板” 的认知矛盾;“害怕失败的退缩心理” 与 “渴望做好的内在需求” 的挣扎。
5. 读情绪发展
Bella:挫败沮丧(组装失败、否定装饰价值)→ 退缩抗拒(直言 “我不行”)→(续写发展:动摇→尝试→专注→紧张期待)→(续写结局:惊喜→自信→成就感)
Mia:乐观自信(认可 Bella 的装饰)→ 耐心鼓励(引导 Bella 尝试)→(续写发展:支持→协作→期待)
Leo & Izzy:期待好奇(前来寻求装饰)→(续写发展:惊喜赞叹→满意认可)
6. 读主题
发挥自身优势(每个人都有独特价值,不必强求全能)
鼓励的力量(朋友的信任与引导,能帮助人突破自我局限)
接纳不完美(正视自身短板,结合优势才能实现自我突破)
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落 句子功能 你的句子构思
第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描写 Bella 的退缩细节(如 “她眉头紧锁,眼神躲闪,盯着地上的铃铛碎片,语气满是绝望”),强化自我否定的情绪。
2. 动作 / 心理推进 刻画 Mia 的鼓励与引导(如 “Mia 蹲下来,捡起铃铛,轻声提醒 Bella‘你擅长的是创意,机械部分我们可以简化’”)。
3. 有效过渡 描写 Bella 的动摇(如 “Bella 抬起头,看着 Mia 信任的眼神,想起自己画的龙纹,心里燃起一丝尝试的勇气”)。
4. 有效衔接 描述 Bella 的具体行动(如 “她决定发挥绘画优势,用贴纸和颜料在车把上画 Izzy 喜欢的恐龙,搭配简单的铃铛配件”)。
5. 段落收束 以装饰完成后的紧张期待收尾(如 “当最后一笔颜料干透,Bella 看着自己的作品,既紧张又期待,不知道 Izzy 会不会喜欢”)。
第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 描写男孩们的惊喜反应(如 “Leo 和 Izzy 盯着装饰一新的自行车,眼睛瞪得圆圆的,忍不住发出‘哇’的赞叹声”)。
7. 情节发展 描写男孩们的具体反馈(如 “Izzy 一把跨上车,拨响铃铛,看着车把上的恐龙图案,兴奋地说‘这是我见过最酷的自行车’”)。
8. 主题升华 通过 Bella 的内心感悟(如 “Bella 看着男孩们开心的样子,突然明白:不必强求自己做好所有事,发挥优势也能闪闪发光”)。
9. 结局呈现 描写 Bella 的自信转变(如 “她主动向路过的小朋友介绍自己的绘画装饰,眼神里满是以前没有的坚定”)。
10. 富有余韵的结尾 用场景定格收尾(如 “阳光洒在色彩斑斓的自行车上,Bella 和 Mia 相视一笑,她们的合作不仅赚了钱,更让 Bella 找到了属于自己的价值”)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言
1. 人物心理描写
退缩 / 自我否定(Bella 开头):Doubt flooded Bella’s mind as she stared at the bike—she was sure she’d mess up Izzy’s bike, just like she’d messed up the bell.(看着自行车,怀疑充斥着 Bella 的脑海 —— 她肯定会搞砸 Izzy 的车,就像搞砸那个铃铛一样。)
鼓励 / 信任(Mia 引导时):Mia’s belief in her gave Bella a flicker of courage—maybe she didn’t need to be good at mechanics; her painting could be enough.(Mia 对她的信任给了 Bella 一丝勇气 —— 也许她不需要擅长机械,她的绘画就足够了。)
自信 / 成就感(Bella 被认可时):Pride swelled in Bella’s chest as Izzy praised her work—she’d done it, not by being perfect, but by being herself.(当 Izzy 称赞她的作品时,Bella 心中涌起骄傲 —— 她做到了,不是靠完美,而是靠做自己。)
2. 情感描写
挫败与自我怀疑:Bella’s heart sank as she thought about her failed bell assembly—she felt useless compared to Mia’s skill with mechanical things.(想到组装失败的铃铛,Bella 的心一沉 —— 和 Mia 的机械技能比起来,她觉得自己一无是处。)
温暖与鼓励:Mia’s gentle words wrapped around Bella like a hug—she didn’t laugh at her failures, but reminded her of what she was good at.(Mia 温和的话语像拥抱一样包裹着 Bella—— 她没有嘲笑她的失败,而是提醒她擅长的事情。)
惊喜与认可:Izzy’s excited shouts filled the air, and Bella’s eyes lit up—her decorations weren’t silly or useless; they brought joy to someone else.(Izzy 兴奋的呼喊响彻空中,Bella 的眼睛亮了起来 —— 她的装饰既不傻也不没用,它们给别人带来了快乐。)
3. 动作描写
退缩与挣扎(Bella):Bella crossed her arms tightly, staring at the ground and shaking her head. She kicked at the grass, avoiding Mia’s eyes, afraid to see disappointment there.(Bella 紧紧抱臂,盯着地面摇头。她踢着草,避开 Mia 的目光,害怕看到那里的失望。)
鼓励与引导(Mia):Mia knelt down to meet Bella’s eyes, placing a hand on her shoulder. She picked up the paintbrush and handed it to her, smiling softly: “Your turn—let’s show them what you can do.”(Mia 跪下来与 Bella 对视,把手放在她的肩膀上。她拿起画笔递给她,温柔地笑:“该你了 —— 让他们看看你能做到什么。”)
创作与完成(Bella):Bella gripped the paintbrush, her hands steadying as she painted a bright green dinosaur on Izzy’s bike handle. She added stickers and a feather beside it, then attached a simple bell—this time, she didn’t care if it was fancy, just that it fit.(Bella 握紧画笔,手渐渐稳定,在 Izzy 的车把上画了一只鲜绿色的恐龙。她在旁边贴上贴纸和羽毛,然后装上一个简单的铃铛 —— 这一次,她不在乎是否花哨,只在乎是否合适。)
4. 环境象征描写
画笔与颜料→Bella 的天赋与自信:The paintbrush in Bella’s hand wasn’t just a tool—it was a symbol of her unique talent, a way to express herself when words failed.(Bella 手中的画笔不仅仅是工具 —— 它象征着她独特的天赋,是她在言语无力时表达自我的方式。)
机械配件→不完美的挑战:The mechanical gadgets weren’t enemies—they were a reminder that no one is good at everything, and collaboration makes up for weaknesses.(机械配件不是敌人 —— 它们提醒着人们,没有人全能,协作能弥补短板。)
装饰后的自行车→成长与价值:The colorfully decorated bikes weren’t just for the parade—they were a sign of Bella’s growth, proving that embracing her strengths was more important than fixing her flaws.(装饰得色彩斑斓的自行车不仅仅是为了游行 —— 它们是 Bella 成长的标志,证明接纳优势比弥补缺陷更重要。)
【专项微训练】—— 为故事注入灵魂
训练一:环境描写 烘托心情
(选择贴合氛围的词语造句,强化场景与情绪的关联)
心情 可选词汇(中英对照) 你的造句
退缩 / 沮丧 阳光刺眼 (dazzling sun); 草地枯黄 (withered grass); 铃铛散落 (scattered bell pieces) Bella 坐在公园的长椅上,______,心中满是挫败,连抬头的勇气都没有。
鼓励 / 温暖 微风拂面 (gentle breeze); 树荫凉爽 (cool shade); 颜料鲜亮 (bright paint) ______,Mia 递来的画笔仿佛带着温度,让 Bella 心里的绝望渐渐消散。
自信 / 喜悦 阳光温暖 (warm sun); 色彩斑斓 (vibrant colors); 笑声清脆 (clear laughter) ______,Bella 看着自己装饰的自行车,脸上露出了久违的笑容。
参考答案
Bella 坐在公园的长椅上,dazzling sun shining down, withered grass tickling her ankles, and scattered bell pieces lying beside her(刺眼的阳光直射下来,枯黄的草挠着她的脚踝,散落的铃铛碎片躺在身边),心中满是挫败,连抬头的勇气都没有。
Gentle breeze brushing their faces, cool shade covering them, and bright paint glowing in the light(微风吹拂着她们的脸颊,树荫带来凉爽,鲜亮的颜料在光线下发光),Mia 递来的画笔仿佛带着温度,让 Bella 心里的绝望渐渐消散。
Warm sun casting soft light, vibrant colors of the decorations catching the eye, and clear laughter of the boys echoing(温暖的阳光洒下柔和的光线,装饰的鲜艳色彩引人注目,男孩们清脆的笑声回荡),Bella 看着自己装饰的自行车,脸上露出了久违的笑容。
训练二:人物刻画 于细微处见真情
(将抽象描述与具体动作 / 神态连线,选择一句仿写,凸显人物性格)
Bella 自我否定 A. She bit her lip, eyes filling with tears, and whispered: “I’m no good at this—I’ll ruin it.”
Mia 鼓励支持 B. She grinned, patted Bella’s back, and said firmly: “Your art is amazing—let’s use that. Mechanics can wait!”
Izzy 惊喜认可 C. He jumped up and down, pointing at the bike, and shouted: “This is awesome! The dinosaur is so cool!”
连线答案:1-A;2-B;3-C仿写示例(选择第 2 句):She nodded, handed him the notebook, and said gently: “Your writing is heartfelt—let’s polish it. Grammar can be fixed!”(她点点头,递给她笔记本,温柔地说:“你的文字很真挚 —— 我们来润色一下,语法可以修改!”)
训练三:情感表达 找到 “高级替身”
(替换直白词汇,让情感表达更细腻生动)
直白表达 高级替代表达(中英对照)
“沮丧”(Bella) feel discouraged and defeated(感到气馁与挫败);a wave of hopelessness wash over sb(一阵绝望席卷全身)
“鼓励”(Mia) give sb a boost of confidence(给某人注入信心);cheer sb on with gentle words(用温和的话语为某人加油)
“开心”(Izzy) be over the moon with joy(欣喜若狂);eyes light up with excitement(眼睛因兴奋而发亮)
例句升级原句:Bella felt very sad, Mia encouraged her, and Izzy was very happy when he saw the bike.升级句:A wave of hopelessness washed over Bella, making her feel discouraged and defeated. Mia cheered her on with gentle words, giving her a boost of confidence. When Izzy saw the bike, his eyes lit up with excitement—he was over the moon with joy.(一阵绝望席卷 Bella,让她感到气馁与挫败。Mia 用温和的话语为她加油,给她注入信心。Izzy 看到自行车时,眼睛因兴奋而发亮 —— 他欣喜若狂。)
训练四:动作细节 让情感可视化
(为情境补充具体动作,体现人物内心,避免 “直白描述”)
情境 直白版 细节版(参考)
1. Bella 自我否定时(体现 “退缩”) Bella 很沮丧,不想尝试。 Bella hunched her shoulders, wrapped her arms around her knees, and stared at the bike blankly. She shook her head repeatedly, her lower lip trembling: “I can’t do it—I’ll mess it up.”(Bella 耸起肩膀,抱住膝盖,茫然地盯着自行车。她频频摇头,下唇颤抖:“我做不到 —— 我会搞砸的。”)
2. Mia 鼓励 Bella 时(体现 “支持”) Mia 鼓励 Bella 发挥优势。 Mia pulled out a piece of paper, drew a quick sketch of Bella’s dragon, and pushed it toward her. “See This is what you’re great at,” she said, tapping the sketch. “We don’t need fancy mechanics—just your art.”(Mia 掏出一张纸,快速画了 Bella 的龙,推到她面前。“看?这是你擅长的,” 她指着草图说,“我们不需要复杂的机械 —— 只要你的艺术就好。”)
3. Izzy 看到自行车时(体现 “惊喜”) Izzy 很开心,喜欢自行车。 Izzy’s breath caught in his throat as he saw the bike. He ran over, traced the dinosaur with his finger, and let out a loud “Wow!” He swung his leg over the seat, rang the bell, and shouted: “This is the best bike ever! Thank you, Bella!”(Izzy 看到自行车时屏住了呼吸。他跑过去,用手指摸着恐龙,大喊一声 “哇!”。他跨上车座,按响铃铛,喊道:“这是最棒的自行车!谢谢你,Bella!”)
训练五:象征与隐喻 让主题更深刻
(将抽象概念与故事中的 “具体事物” 关联,深化主题,避免 “直白点题”)
画笔与颜料 → 不仅是 “装饰工具”,更象征着 one’s unique strength(个人独特优势),是 Bella 突破自我、获得认可的核心依托。
失败的铃铛 → 不仅是 “组装失败的配件”,更象征着 life’s small setbacks(人生中的小挫折),提醒人们不必因局部不足否定整体价值。
装饰后的自行车 → 不仅是 “游行道具”,更象征着 growth through acceptance(接纳带来的成长),是 Bella 接纳自身短板、发挥优势后的成果。
四、综合训练与范文引导
训练:补全段落(结合 “十句五定法” 框架与微写作技巧,完善续写内容)
Paragraph 1
“I can’t!” Bella frowned, her heart sinking.Doubt flooded her mind as she stared at Izzy’s plain bike—she’d messed up the bell, and her dragon horn sounded silly. She crossed her arms tightly, kicking at the scattered bell pieces on the grass. “I’m no good at mechanical stuff, and my paintings are useless,” she mumbled. Mia knelt down beside her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Your paintings aren’t useless—they’re awesome!” she said firmly. “Forget the fancy bells. Let’s use your art—Izzy loves dinosaurs, right ” Mia’s words gave Bella a flicker of courage. She picked up her paintbrush, dipping it in bright green paint, and started drawing a fierce dinosaur on the bike handle. She added colorful stickers, a feather tassel, and even attached a simple bell—this time, she didn’t care if it was perfect, just that it felt like “her”. When she finished, she stepped back, her hands still slightly shaking with nervousness.
Paragraph 2
When Leo and Izzy returned, their eyes widened.Izzy let out a loud “Wow!” and ran straight for his bike, tracing the dinosaur with his finger. “This is the coolest thing ever! I love the green scales and the feather tassel!” he shouted, swinging his leg over the seat. Leo laughed, admiring his own bike decorated with Mia’s gadgets and Bella’s small painted flags. “You two are amazing—our bikes will be the stars of the parade!” he said. Bella felt pride swell in her chest as she watched Izzy ring the bell and grin from ear to ear. She turned to Mia, smiling: “We did it.” Mia squeezed her hand: “You did it—your art was the missing piece.” From that day on, Bella no longer doubted her talent. She learned that being good at what you love is enough, and true friends help you shine in your own way.
范文亮点解析
情节连贯:严格遵循 “Bella 退缩→Mia 鼓励→Bella 发挥绘画优势完成装饰→男孩们惊喜认可→Bella 重拾自信” 的逻辑,呼应原文 “自我怀疑→鼓励→突破→成长” 的核心线索,无脱节。
细节鲜活:通过 “抱臂摇头”“蘸颜料画恐龙”“摸恐龙图案” 等动作细节,凸显人物情绪;用 “鲜绿色恐龙”“彩色贴纸”“羽毛流苏” 等装饰细节,让场景更生动,画面感极强。
情感真挚:用 “Mia 的温柔鼓励”“Izzy 的兴奋赞叹”“Bella 的骄傲释然” 传递 “接纳自我、发挥优势” 的主题;结尾 “朋友帮你绽放独特光芒” 的感悟,避免直白说教,深化 “成长型友情” 内涵丽水、湖州、衢州2025年11月三地市高三教学质量检测
读后续写二次开发学案学生版
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整短文。
The girls sat under their sign in the park, which read “Decorate Your Bike Here!” Park managers had set up a Bike Parade. Bella and Mia planned to earn money by decorating kids’ bikes for the event.
Mia’s dad, an inventor, had given them a basket of bells, whistles, gadgets (小配件) and spare parts. Bella, who loves painting, brought paints, brushes, stickers, feathers and other decorations. They had already decorated a few bikes, but Bella felt frustrated.
“Your mechanical things are better,” Bella grumbled to Mia, watching her friend easily assemble the parts of a fancy bell. She held up her own works — colorful flags and a dragon-painted horn — and sighed, wishing they had more use. “The horn sounds like an annoying goose, not a dragon!” she complained. Mia laughed out loud, truly delighted by the funny sound, and confidently told Bella the customer would find it charming.
Just then, Bella looked at the bike bell she’d been trying to assemble. “See Every mechanical thing I try fails!” she murmured. Mia leaned over to offer suggestions. Bella tried again, but the pieces still wouldn’t work. Her frustration grew. “I don’t know what I’m doing!” she cried, throwing the bell onto the grass and sitting back beside it, defeated. “Try again, Bella! You can do this,” Mia encouraged gently. Bella kept her eyes shut, hoping no customers would come and pretending she wasn’t a total failure.
But soon a shadow blocked her sun. Her brother Leo and his friend Izzy stood there. “Your bikes need decorating!” Mia announced before Bella could speak. “That’s why we’re here!” Izzy smiled. Bella’s mouth fell open in surprise, but she quickly closed it, afraid to look silly.
After discussing ideas, Mia sent the boys away. She grabbed Bella’s arm and said, “We’ll make these the coolest bikes. You do Izzy’s, and I’ll do Leo’s. Come on!”
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150个左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
“I can’t!” Bella frowned, her heart sinking.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
When Leo and Izzy returned, their eyes widened.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【原文翻译】
女孩们坐在公园的指示牌下,牌子上写着 “自行车装饰服务”。公园管理者组织了一场自行车游行活动,贝拉(Bella)和米娅(Mia)计划通过为活动中的孩子们装饰自行车来赚钱。
米娅的爸爸是位发明家,给了她们一篮子铃铛、哨子、小配件和备用零件;热爱绘画的贝拉则带来了颜料、画笔、贴纸、羽毛和其他装饰用品。她们已经装饰了几辆自行车,可贝拉却感到很沮丧。
“你那些机械小玩意儿比我的好用多了,” 贝拉一边抱怨着对米娅说,一边看着好友轻松地把一个精致铃铛的零件组装好。她举起自己的作品 —— 彩色小旗和一个画着龙的喇叭 —— 叹了口气,真希望这些东西能更实用些。“这喇叭听起来像烦人的鹅叫,根本不像龙吼!” 她不满地说。米娅哈哈大笑起来,被这滑稽的声音逗得真心觉得有趣,她信心满满地告诉贝拉,顾客一定会觉得这很可爱。
就在这时,贝拉看向自己一直试图组装的自行车铃铛。“你看?我每次碰机械类的东西都搞砸!” 她小声嘀咕道。米娅凑过去给出建议,贝拉又试了一次,可零件还是装不起来。她的沮丧越来越重。“我根本不知道自己在做什么!” 她喊了一声,把铃铛扔到草地上,然后坐在旁边,一副垂头丧气的样子。“再试试,贝拉!你能做到的,” 米娅温柔地鼓励道。贝拉紧闭双眼,盼着别再有顾客过来,也假装自己没那么一无是处。
可没过多久,一道影子挡住了她面前的阳光。她的弟弟利奥(Leo)和他的朋友伊西(Izzy)站在那里。“你们的自行车需要装饰!” 没等贝拉开口,米娅就抢先说道。“我们就是来装饰的!” 伊西笑着说。贝拉惊讶得张大了嘴,但很快又闭上了,怕显得傻气。
讨论完装饰想法后,米娅让男孩们先走开。她抓住贝拉的胳膊说:“我们要把这两辆自行车做成最酷的。你负责装饰伊西的,我来弄利奥的。加油!”
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
1. 读情节
开端
发展
转折
续写第一段
续写第二段
2. 读人物
“我”
George
女婿
岳父
3. 读时态
全文以________________为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突
内在冲突
5. 读情绪发展
Bella:挫败沮丧(组装失败、否定装饰价值)→ 退缩抗拒(直言 “我不行”)→
(续写发展:______________________)→(续写结局:_________________________)
Mia:乐观自信(认可 Bella 的装饰)→ 耐心鼓励(引导 Bella 尝试)→
(续写发展:______________________)
Leo & Izzy:期待好奇(前来寻求装饰)→(续写发展:_________________________)
6. 读主题
__________________________________
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落 句子功能 你的句子构思
第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描写 Bella 的退缩细节(如 ___________________________________),强化自我否定的情绪。
2. 动作 / 心理推进 刻画 Mia 的鼓励与引导(如 ___________________________________)。
3. 有效过渡 描写 Bella 的动摇(如 ________________________________________)。
4. 有效衔接 描述 Bella 的具体行动(_______________________________________)。
5. 段落收束 以装饰完成后的紧张期待收尾(如 ______________________________)。
第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 描写男孩们的惊喜反应(如 ____________________________________)。
7. 情节发展 描写男孩们的具体反馈(如 ____________________________________)。
8. 主题升华 通过 Bella 的内心感悟(如 ____________________________________)。
9. 结局呈现 描写 Bella 的自信转变(如_____________________________________)。
10. 富有余韵的结尾 用场景定格收尾(如 ______________________________________)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言
1. 人物心理描写
退缩 / 自我否定(Bella 开头):______________________________________________________(看着自行车,怀疑充斥着 Bella 的脑海 —— 她肯定会搞砸 Izzy 的车,就像搞砸那个铃铛一样。)
鼓励 / 信任(Mia 引导时):_________________________________________________________(Mia 对她的信任给了 Bella 一丝勇气 —— 也许她不需要擅长机械,她的绘画就足够了。)
自信 / 成就感(Bella 被认可时):____________________________________________________(当 Izzy 称赞她的作品时,Bella 心中涌起骄傲 —— 她做到了,不是靠完美,而是靠做自己。)
2. 情感描写
挫败与自我怀疑:___________________________________________________________________(想到组装失败的铃铛,Bella 的心一沉 —— 和 Mia 的机械技能比起来,她觉得自己一无是处。)
温暖与鼓励:_____________________________________________________________________(Mia 温和的话语像拥抱一样包裹着 Bella—— 她没有嘲笑她的失败,而是提醒她擅长的事情。)
惊喜与认可:_____________________________________________________________________(Izzy 兴奋的呼喊响彻空中,Bella 的眼睛亮了起来 —— 她的装饰既不傻也不没用,它们给别人带来了快乐。)
3. 动作描写
退缩与挣扎(Bella):_______________________________________________________________(Bella 紧紧抱臂,盯着地面摇头。她踢着草,避开 Mia 的目光,害怕看到那里的失望。)
鼓励与引导(Mia):_________________________________________________________________(Mia 跪下来与 Bella 对视,把手放在她的肩膀上。她拿起画笔递给她,温柔地笑:“该你了 —— 让他们看看你能做到什么。”)
创作与完成(Bella):_______________________________________________________________(Bella 握紧画笔,手渐渐稳定,在 Izzy 的车把上画了一只鲜绿色的恐龙。她在旁边贴上贴纸和羽毛,然后装上一个简单的铃铛 —— 这一次,她不在乎是否花哨,只在乎是否合适。)
4. 环境象征描写
画笔与颜料→Bella 的天赋与自信:__________________________________________________(Bella 手中的画笔不仅仅是工具 —— 它象征着她独特的天赋,是她在言语无力时表达自我的方式。)
机械配件→不完美的挑战:___________________________________________________________(机械配件不是敌人 —— 它们提醒着人们,没有人全能,协作能弥补短板。)
装饰后的自行车→成长与价值:_______________________________________________________(装饰得色彩斑斓的自行车不仅仅是为了游行 —— 它们是 Bella 成长的标志,证明接纳优势比弥补缺陷更重要。)
【专项微训练】—— 为故事注入灵魂
训练一:环境描写 烘托心情
(选择贴合氛围的词语造句,强化场景与情绪的关联)
心情 可选词汇(中英对照) 你的造句
退缩 / 沮丧 阳光刺眼 (dazzling sun); 草地枯黄 (withered grass); 铃铛散落 (scattered bell pieces) Bella 坐在公园的长椅上,______,心中满是挫败,连抬头的勇气都没有。
鼓励 / 温暖 微风拂面 (gentle breeze); 树荫凉爽 (cool shade); 颜料鲜亮 (bright paint) ______,Mia 递来的画笔仿佛带着温度,让 Bella 心里的绝望渐渐消散。
自信 / 喜悦 阳光温暖 (warm sun); 色彩斑斓 (vibrant colors); 笑声清脆 (clear laughter) ______,Bella 看着自己装饰的自行车,脸上露出了久违的笑容。
参考答案
Bella 坐在公园的长椅上,dazzling sun shining down, withered grass tickling her ankles, and scattered bell pieces lying beside her(刺眼的阳光直射下来,枯黄的草挠着她的脚踝,散落的铃铛碎片躺在身边),心中满是挫败,连抬头的勇气都没有。
Gentle breeze brushing their faces, cool shade covering them, and bright paint glowing in the light(微风吹拂着她们的脸颊,树荫带来凉爽,鲜亮的颜料在光线下发光),Mia 递来的画笔仿佛带着温度,让 Bella 心里的绝望渐渐消散。
Warm sun casting soft light, vibrant colors of the decorations catching the eye, and clear laughter of the boys echoing(温暖的阳光洒下柔和的光线,装饰的鲜艳色彩引人注目,男孩们清脆的笑声回荡),Bella 看着自己装饰的自行车,脸上露出了久违的笑容。
训练二:人物刻画 于细微处见真情
(将抽象描述与具体动作 / 神态连线,选择一句仿写,凸显人物性格)
Bella 自我否定 A. She bit her lip, eyes filling with tears, and whispered: “I’m no good at this—I’ll ruin it.”
Mia 鼓励支持 B. She grinned, patted Bella’s back, and said firmly: “Your art is amazing—let’s use that. Mechanics can wait!”
Izzy 惊喜认可 C. He jumped up and down, pointing at the bike, and shouted: “This is awesome! The dinosaur is so cool!”
连线答案:1-A;2-B;3-C
仿写示例(选择第 2 句):___________________________________________________________(她点点头,递给她笔记本,温柔地说:“你的文字很真挚 —— 我们来润色一下,语法可以修改!”)
训练三:情感表达 找到 “高级替身”
(替换直白词汇,让情感表达更细腻生动)
直白表达 高级替代表达(中英对照)
“沮丧”(Bella) _______________________________(感到气馁与挫败); ________________________________(一阵绝望席卷全身)
“鼓励”(Mia) _______________________________(给某人注入信心); _______________________________(用温和的话语为某人加油)
“开心”(Izzy) _______________________________(欣喜若狂); ________________________________(眼睛因兴奋而发亮)
例句升级原句:Bella felt very sad, Mia encouraged her, and Izzy was very happy when he saw the bike.升级句:___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________(一阵绝望席卷 Bella,让她感到气馁与挫败。Mia 用温和的话语为她加油,给她注入信心。Izzy 看到自行车时,眼睛因兴奋而发亮 —— 他欣喜若狂。)
训练四:动作细节 让情感可视化
(为情境补充具体动作,体现人物内心,避免 “直白描述”)
情境 直白版 细节版(参考)
1. Bella 自我否定时(体现 “退缩”) Bella 很沮丧,不想尝试。 提示:(Bella 耸起肩膀,抱住膝盖,茫然地盯着自行车。她频频摇头,下唇颤抖:“我做不到 —— 我会搞砸的。”)
2. Mia 鼓励 Bella 时(体现 “支持”) Mia 鼓励 Bella 发挥优势。 提示: (Mia 掏出一张纸,快速画了 Bella 的龙,推到她面前。“看?这是你擅长的,” 她指着草图说,“我们不需要复杂的机械 —— 只要你的艺术就好。”)
3. Izzy 看到自行车时(体现 “惊喜”) Izzy 很开心,喜欢自行车。 提示: (Izzy 看到自行车时屏住了呼吸。他跑过去,用手指摸着恐龙,大喊一声 “哇!”。他跨上车座,按响铃铛,喊道:“这是最棒的自行车!谢谢你,Bella!”)
训练五:象征与隐喻 让主题更深刻
(将抽象概念与故事中的 “具体事物” 关联,深化主题,避免 “直白点题”)
画笔与颜料 → 不仅是 “装饰工具”,更象征着 ________________________________,是 Bella 突破自我、获得认可的核心依托。
失败的铃铛 → 不仅是 “组装失败的配件”,更象征着 __________________________________,提醒人们不必因局部不足否定整体价值。
装饰后的自行车 → 不仅是 “游行道具”,更象征着____________________________________,是 Bella 接纳自身短板、发挥优势后的成果。
四、综合训练与范文引导
请根据范文语境、提示词(中文释义 / 词性 / 时态 / 场景提示),补全下列段落,强化对优势发挥 + 友情鼓励主题核心词的掌握。
Paragraph 1
“I can’t!” Bella frowned, her heart sinking.A wave of self-doubt ______(提示:情感词块,席卷她,past tense of “wash over” + “her”)as she stared at Izzy’s plain bike. She ______(提示:动作 + 情感词块,耸肩踢散落的铃铛碎片,past tense of “hunch” + “her shoulders and kick scattered bell pieces on the grass”), murmuring: “I messed up the bell, and my paintings are useless.” Mia ______(提示:动作词块,在她身边蹲下,past tense of “kneel down” + “beside her”), placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Your art is your strength—forget fancy mechanics!” she said firmly. Mia’s words ______(提示:情感词块,给 Bella 注入信心,past tense of “give” + “Bella a boost of confidence”), and a flicker of courage ______(提示:情感词块,在她心中燃起,past tense of “spark” + “in her heart”). She picked up the paintbrush, ______(提示:动作词块,蘸取亮绿色颜料,past tense of “dip” + “it in bright green paint”), and started drawing a fierce dinosaur on the bike handle. She ______(提示:动作 + 环境词块,贴彩色贴纸,past tense of “attach” + “colorful stickers around the dinosaur”), then attached a simple bell. When she finished, Bella ______(提示:动作 + 情感词块,退后欣赏作品,手微微颤抖,past tense of “step back” + “to admire her work, her hands slightly shaking”).
Paragraph 2
When Leo and Izzy returned, their eyes widened.Izzy ______(提示:动作 + 情感词块,大喊着跑过去,past tense of “let out” + “a loud ‘Wow!’ and run over”), tracing the dinosaur with his finger. “This is awesome! The green scales are so cool!” he shouted, ______(提示:动作词块,跨上自行车座位,past tense of “swing” + “his leg over the bike seat”). Leo laughed, admiring his own bike with Mia’s gadgets and Bella’s small painted flags: “Our bikes will be the stars of the parade!” Bella ______(提示:情感词块,心中涌起骄傲,past tense of “feel” + “pride swell in her chest”)as she watched them. She turned to Mia, smiling: “I did it—because I used what I’m good at!” Mia ______(提示:动作词块,轻轻捏她的手,past tense of “squeeze” + “her hand”): “You’ve always been good at painting—you just needed to believe it.” The warm sun ______(提示:环境词块,洒在彩色自行车上,past tense of “cast” + “on the colorful bikes”), and Bella realized: true strength isn’t being good at everything, but embracing your advantages. From that day on, she ______(提示:动作 + 成长词块,自豪地展示绘画天赋,past tense of “show” + “her painting talent proudly”).
(二)参考答案与关键词对应解析
填空位置 英文答案 关键词类型 对应高频词块(回顾强化)
Paragraph 1-1 washed over her 情感类 Bella 自我怀疑的核心表达,贴合 “否定自我” 场景
Paragraph 1-2 hunched her shoulders and kicked scattered bell pieces on the grass 动作 + 情感类 具象化 Bella 的沮丧,替代直白 “felt sad”
Paragraph 1-3 knelt down beside her 动作类 Mia 温柔鼓励的标志性动作,体现 “友情支持”
Paragraph 1-4 gave Bella a boost of confidence 情感类 朋友鼓励的关键效果,推动 “突破自我” 情节
Paragraph 1-5 sparked in her heart 情感类 Bella 勇气觉醒的瞬间,比 “became brave” 更细腻
Paragraph 1-6 dipped it in bright green paint 动作 + 环境类 发挥绘画优势的核心动作,呼应 “优势发挥” 主题
Paragraph 1-7 attached colorful stickers around the dinosaur 动作 + 环境类 创作细节,凸显 Bella 的艺术天赋
Paragraph 1-8 stepped back to admire her work, her hands slightly shaking 动作 + 情感类 完成创作后的紧张与期待,增加场景真实感
Paragraph 2-1 let out a loud “Wow!” and ran over 动作 + 情感类 Izzy 惊喜的直观反应,为 “认可” 铺垫
Paragraph 2-2 swung his leg over the bike seat 动作类 男孩对装饰的喜爱,侧面印证 Bella 的成功
Paragraph 2-3 felt pride swell in her chest 情感类 Bella 获得认可后的核心情绪,贴合 “成长” 主线
Paragraph 2-4 squeezed her hand 动作类 Mia 对 Bella 的肯定,深化 “友情鼓励”
Paragraph 2-5 cast on the colorful bikes 环境类 温馨氛围,烘托 “成功与成长” 的结局
Paragraph 2-6 showed her painting talent proudly 动作 + 成长类 Bella 自信蜕变的最终表现,呼应 “突破自我” 主题