山东省日照2026届高三11月质量检测
读后续写二次学案学生版
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整短文。
Jane was a sweet farm girl, brought up by her late grandmother. Her family managed a stretch of cornfield. The cornfield lay south of a stream, which was in turn south of vast woods. When she was little, her days were mostly spent running and exploring on the cornfield where her parents worked.
Jane had always loved nature, as her grandmother would take her on engaging walks through the cornfield and sometimes into the woods. Together, they would marvel at how ants worked together to carry leaves many times their size or how spiders wove perfect webs for food. “There’s so much wisdom in the world around’ us,” her grandmother would say, “All you have to do is look carefully and listen intently.”
She also got inspiration from her science lessons. Her teacher introduced a fascinating topic: beavers. Jane listened attentively and learned how these industrious animals build natural dams. She marveled at how these amazing creatures build such a steady architecture (dam) simply with branches, stones and mud by the riverbank. She was also surprised to know that they make an overflow channel to let extra water flow into a low, grassy area. “Beavers are such wise engineers. They don’t just block water with their dams, but they also redirect it.” the teacher vividly illustrated. Jane was totally captivated. It reminded her of Grandma’s lessons on the cornfield.
Rainy seasons came, and the air thick with the promise of storm. Staring out of the window, Dad sighed, and worriedly said: “When the stream overflows, the cornfield will be flooded.” Mom held his hand tightly. “We’ll just have to hope the damage is not too severe,” she sighed quietly, “if only there’s a way...”
Silence swelled the room. Jane was filled with worry. Her thoughts lingered on the cornfield that held the cherished memories of countless walks with Grandma, though she was not with her any more. Jane felt an overwhelming need to protect this special place from the upcoming storm.
注意：
(1)续写词数应为150个左右;
(2)请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。
Thinking of grandma’s words, Jane spoke up: “I have an idea!”
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It having rained for several days, the water level rose.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【原文翻译】
简（Jane）是个温柔的农场女孩，由已故的奶奶抚养长大。她家打理着一片玉米地，这片玉米地坐落在一条小溪的北边，而小溪的北边又连着一片广袤的树林。小时候，她的日子大多是在父母劳作的玉米地里奔跑、探索中度过的。
简一直热爱自然 —— 奶奶以前常会带她在玉米地里漫步，有时还会走进树林。祖孙俩会一起惊叹：蚂蚁如何齐心协力搬运比自身大好几倍的树叶，蜘蛛如何织出完美的蛛网来捕食。“我们身边的世界藏着太多智慧，” 奶奶总会说，“你要做的，只是仔细观察、用心倾听。”
她也从科学课上获得过启发。老师讲过一个有趣的主题：海狸。简听得十分认真，了解到这些勤劳的动物会建造天然水坝。她惊叹于这些神奇的小家伙仅用岸边的树枝、石头和泥土，就能搭建出如此坚固的建筑（水坝）。更让她惊讶的是，海狸还会挖掘一条溢流通道，让多余的水流进一片低洼的草地。“海狸真是聪明的工程师啊。它们不只是用水坝挡水，还会引导水流方向。” 老师生动地讲解着。简完全被吸引住了，这让她想起了奶奶在玉米地里教给她的那些道理。
雨季来了，空气中弥漫着暴风雨将至的气息。简望着窗外，爸爸叹了口气，忧心忡忡地说：“等小溪涨水漫出来，玉米地就要被淹了。” 妈妈紧紧握住他的手，轻声叹道：“我们只能祈祷灾情别太严重…… 要是有办法就好了……”
房间里一片寂静。简满心焦虑，思绪始终萦绕在那片玉米地上 —— 那里留存着无数和奶奶一起漫步的珍贵回忆，尽管奶奶已经不在了。简心中涌起强烈的愿望：她要保护这片特别的土地，不让它被即将到来的暴风雨摧毁。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文，深度解读
一、通读全文，深度解读
1. 读情节
开端
发展
转折
续写第一段
续写第二段
2. 读人物
“我”
George
女婿
岳父
3. 读时态
全文以________________为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突
内在冲突
5. 读情绪发展
Jane：热爱自然（童年探索）→ 深受启发（课堂学海狸知识）→ 焦虑担忧（暴雨将至）→
（续写发展：________________________）→（续写结局：_____________________）
父母：担忧无助（谈论洪水威胁）→（续写发展：__________________________）
6. 读主题
________________________________________________
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落 句子功能 你的句子构思
第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描写 Jane 提出方案的坚定态度（如 __________________________）。
2. 动作 / 心理推进 刻画父母的反应与 Jane 的耐心解释（如 _______________________）。
3. 有效过渡 描写父母的态度转变（如 __________________________________）。
4. 有效衔接 描述全家行动的具体过程（如 ____________________________）。
5. 段落收束 以行动完成后的期待与紧张收尾（_____________________________）。
第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 描写暴雨与水位上涨的严峻场景（如 ____________________________）。
7. 情节发展 描写导流设施发挥作用的过程（如 _______________________________）。
8. 主题升华 通过 Jane 或父母的感悟点题（如 ______________________________）。
9. 结局呈现 描写 Jane 的成长与感悟（如 _________________________________）。
10. 富有余韵的结尾 用场景定格收尾（如 ____________________________________）。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言
1. 人物心理描写
坚定自信（Jane 提方案时）：_______________________________________________________
（Jane 说话时思路清晰，她确信海狸的智慧和奶奶的教诲能帮助保护玉米地。）
犹豫担忧（父母初始反应）：__________________________________________________________（爸爸皱起眉，脸上满是疑虑 —— 他想相信 Jane，但担心一个小姑娘的想法挡不住洪水。）
欣慰自豪（方案奏效后）：_____________________________________________________________（看着水流顺着通道流淌，Jane 心中涌起一股自豪 —— 她的想法奏效了，她守护住了奶奶的回忆。）
2. 情感描写
焦虑担忧（暴雨将至）：______________________________________________________________（想到玉米地，担忧啃噬着 Jane 的心 —— 如果洪水来袭，那些和奶奶一起散步、欢笑、分享智慧的时光就会消失。）
兴奋期待（行动时）：________________________________________________________________（收集树枝和石头时，Jane 心中涌起兴奋 —— 每捡起一件东西，就离拯救玉米地、缅怀奶奶更近一步。）
释然欣慰（危机解除）：______________________________________________________________（看到玉米地安然无恙，全家都松了一口气 —— 雨停了，阳光透过云层，仿佛在为他们的成功微笑。）
3. 动作描写
提出方案（Jane）：__________________________________________________________________（Jane 身体前倾，眼睛发亮，抓起一根树枝在地上画起来。她勾勒出小溪的流向，标出玉米地的位置，示意他们要在哪里筑坝和挖通道。）
全家行动（父母 + Jane）：____________________________________________________________（爸爸把粗树枝拖到溪岸边，妈妈堆起石头和泥土加固设施，Jane 则细心地挖了一条浅沟来疏导多余的水流。）
观察效果（Jane）：__________________________________________________________________（Jane 站在玉米地边缘，双手紧握，看着上涨的水流撞击堤坝，然后顺利流入溢流通道 —— 没有一滴水碰到珍贵的玉米。）
4. 环境象征描写
玉米地→亲情与回忆：The cornfield wasn’t just a patch of crops—it was a treasure trove of memories with Grandma, a symbol of love and family that Jane was determined to protect.（玉米地不仅仅是一片庄稼 —— 它是与奶奶回忆的宝库，是爱与家庭的象征，Jane 决心要守护它。）
海狸坝→智慧与解决方案：The beaver’s dam wasn’t just a natural structure—it was a metaphor for practical wisdom, showing Jane that nature holds the answers to life’s problems.（海狸的堤坝不仅仅是自然构造 —— 它是实用智慧的隐喻，让 Jane 明白自然中藏着生活问题的答案。）
暴雨与溪流→挑战与考验：The storm and rising stream weren’t just a disaster—they were a test of Jane’s courage, creativity, and ability to turn lessons into action.（暴雨和上涨的溪流不仅仅是灾难 —— 它们是对 Jane 勇气、创造力和学以致用能力的考验。）
【专项微训练】—— 为故事注入灵魂
训练一：环境描写 烘托心情
（选择贴合氛围的词语造句，强化场景与情绪的关联）
心情 可选词汇（中英对照） 你的造句
焦虑 / 担忧 乌云密布 (dark clouds gathering); 雷声隆隆 (thunder rumbling); 溪水浑浊 (turbid stream water) Jane 站在窗前，______，心中满是对玉米地的担忧，生怕暴雨毁了一切。
坚定 / 期待 眼神发亮 (eyes shining brightly); 工具就绪 (tools ready); 夕阳余晖 (afterglow of sunset) ______，Jane 和父母站在溪岸边，准备动手搭建导流设施，心中充满希望。
欣慰 / 安宁 雨过天晴 (sky clearing up); 溪水潺潺 (stream gurgling); 玉米青翠 (green cornstalks) ______，Jane 望着完好无损的玉米地，脸上露出了久违的笑容。
参考答案
Jane 站在窗前，dark clouds gathering in the sky, thunder rumbling in the distance, and turbid stream water rushing by（天空乌云密布，远处雷声隆隆，浑浊的溪水流淌而过），心中满是对玉米地的担忧，生怕暴雨毁了一切。
Eyes shining brightly with determination, tools like branches and stones laid out neatly, and afterglow of sunset painting the sky（眼中闪烁着坚定的光芒，树枝、石头等工具整齐摆放，夕阳余晖染红了天空），Jane 和父母站在溪岸边，准备动手搭建导流设施，心中充满希望。
Sky clearing up after the rain, stream gurgling gently along the channel, and green cornstalks swaying in the breeze（雨后天空放晴，溪水沿着通道缓缓流淌，青翠的玉米秆在微风中摇曳），Jane 望着完好无损的玉米地，脸上露出了久违的笑容。
训练二：人物刻画 于细微处见真情
（将抽象描述与具体动作 / 神态连线，选择一句仿写，凸显人物性格）
Jane 坚定自信 A. She leaned forward, drew a sketch with a stick, and said firmly: “We can copy beavers—build a dam and a channel to redirect water!”
父母犹豫担忧 B. They exchanged worried glances, Dad scratched his head, and Mom whispered: “Can a kid’s idea really work against the flood ”
全家欣慰自豪 C. They stood side by side, watching the cornfield, and Dad patted Jane’s shoulder: “You did it—nature and grandma’s lessons saved us!”
连线答案：1-A；2-B；3-C
仿写示例（选择第 1 句）：____________________________________________________________（他挺直后背，指着纸上的方案，自信地说：“我们可以用课堂上学到的知识 —— 这个方法能解决问题！”）
训练三：情感表达 找到 “高级替身”
（替换直白词汇，让情感表达更细腻生动）
直白表达 高级替代表达（中英对照）
“担忧”（Jane） ___________________________（担忧啃噬内心）； ___________________________（一阵焦虑席卷全身）
“坚定”（Jane） ___________________________（内心充满不可动摇的决心）； ___________________________（眼中燃烧着决心）
“欣慰”（父母） _________________________（一阵释然涌上心头）； _________________________（满心欢喜与感激）
例句升级原句：Jane was very worried about the cornfield. She was determined to protect it, and her parents felt very relieved when the plan worked.
升级句：___________________________________________________________________________（想到玉米地，担忧啃噬着 Jane 的内心，她充满了不可动摇的保护决心。方案奏效时，父母心中涌上一阵释然，满心欢喜与感激。）
训练四：动作细节 让情感可视化
（为情境补充具体动作，体现人物内心，避免 “直白描述”）
情境 直白版 细节版（参考）
1. Jane 提方案时（体现 “坚定”） Jane 很坚定地向父母提建议。 提示：（Jane 深吸一口气，双手放在桌上，目光坚定地看着父母。她抓起一根树枝在地上快速画起来，清晰地解释自己的想法：“海狸筑坝控水 —— 我们也可以这么做！”）
2. 父母行动时（体现 “支持”） 父母帮助 Jane 搭建设施。 提示：（爸爸卷起袖子，把粗树枝搬到溪边，步伐坚定。妈妈蹲下混合泥土和石头，细心堆砌成堤坝，还时不时抬头对 Jane 微笑，表达支持。）
3. 看到玉米地安全时（体现 “欣慰”） 全家很欣慰看到玉米地没事。 提示：（妈妈轻轻拍手，眼中闪烁着释然的泪水。爸爸把 Jane 拥入温暖的怀抱，声音哽咽：“你是我们的小英雄。”Jane 咧嘴笑了，擦去脸颊上的一滴雨水，自豪地望着玉米地。）
训练五：象征与隐喻 让主题更深刻
（将抽象概念与故事中的 “具体事物” 关联，深化主题，避免 “直白点题”）
奶奶的教诲 → 不仅是 “观察自然” 的提醒，更象征着__________________________________，是 Jane 面对困难时的精神支柱，指引她找到解决问题的方向。
海狸筑坝知识 → 不仅是 “课堂知识点”，更象征着_____________________________________，证明书本知识与生活实践结合，能发挥巨大价值。
导流设施 → 不仅是 “防洪工具”，更象征着___________________________________________，是 Jane 将智慧与行动结合的成果，体现了年轻一代的潜力。
四、综合训练与范文引导
（一）短文填空训练（聚焦核心关键词，提示词 + 时态提示：全程用一般过去时）
请根据范文语境、提示词（中文释义 / 词性 / 时态 / 场景提示），补全下列段落，强化对自然智慧 + 学以致用主题核心词的掌握。
Paragraph 1
Thinking of grandma’s words, Jane spoke up: “I have an idea!”Her eyes ______（提示：情感 + 动作词块，因灵感发亮，past tense of “light up” + “with inspiration”）as she leaned forward. She suddenly recalled the science lesson about beavers, ______（提示：动作词块，抓起树枝在地上画草图，past tense of “grab” + “a stick to draw a sketch on the ground”）. “We can mimic beavers—build a dam with branches and dig an overflow channel!” she explained clearly. Dad ______（提示：情感 + 动作词块，起初皱眉满脸疑虑，past tense of “frown” + “at first, uncertainty clouding his face”）, but Mom nodded thoughtfully: “It’s worth a try.” Encouraged, the family ______（提示：动作词块，立刻行动，past tense of “spring” + “into action”）. Dad ______（提示：动作词块，拖粗树枝到溪岸边，past tense of “haul” + “thick branches to the stream bank”）, Mom ______（提示：动作 + 环境词块，堆泥土石头加固堤坝，past tense of “pile” + “mud and stones to reinforce the dam”）, and Jane carefully ______（提示：动作词块，挖溢流通道，past tense of “dig” + “the overflow channel leading to the grassland”）. By dusk, their work was done. ______（提示：环境词块，远处雷声隆隆，past tense of “rumble” + “in the distance”）, and Jane stared at the dam, her heart pounding with hope.
Paragraph 2
It having rained for several days, the water level rose.Turbid stream water ______（提示：动作 + 环境词块，汹涌向前撞击堤坝，past tense of “surge” + “forward, crashing against the dam”）. Jane held her breath, worried the dam might collapse. But to her relief, the dam ______（提示：动作词块，稳固支撑，past tense of “hold” + “firm”）. The overflow channel worked too—extra water ______（提示：动作 + 环境词块，顺着溢流通道平稳流淌，past tense of “flow” + “smoothly along the overflow channel”）into the low-lying grassland. When the rain stopped, the family rushed to the cornfield: green cornstalks ______（提示：动作 + 环境词块，在微风中摇曳，past tense of “sway” + “gently in the breeze”）, unharmed. Dad ______（提示：动作 + 情感词块，骄傲地拍 Jane 的肩膀，past tense of “pat” + “Jane’s shoulder in pride”）: “You did it! Nature’s wisdom and your lesson saved us.” Jane smiled, recalling grandma’s words: “There’s so much wisdom in the world around us.” She finally understood: true learning ______（提示：主题词块，是用所学保护所爱，past tense of “be” + “using what you know to protect what you love”）.
（二）参考答案与关键词对应解析
填空位置 英文答案 关键词类型 对应高频词块（回顾强化）
Paragraph 1-1 lit up with inspiration 情感 + 动作类 Jane 想到方案的核心反应，体现 “自然智慧带来灵感”
Paragraph 1-2 grabbed a stick to draw a sketch on the ground 动作类 说服父母的关键动作，具象化 “学以致用” 的初步实践
Paragraph 1-3 frowned at first, uncertainty clouding his face 情感 + 动作类 父母初始的担忧，为 “后续认可” 做铺垫，贴合 “担忧困境” 场景
Paragraph 1-4 sprang into action 动作类 全家协作的起点，推动 “学以致用” 落地
Paragraph 1-5 hauled thick branches to the stream bank 动作类 父亲的分工行动，体现 “全员参与”，强化 “实践” 主题
Paragraph 1-6 piled mud and stones to reinforce the dam 动作 + 环境类 母亲的协作细节，凸显 “设施搭建” 的实用性
Paragraph 1-7 dug the overflow channel leading to the grassland 动作类 Jane 的核心实践，直接关联 “模仿海狸” 的自然智慧
Paragraph 1-8 Thunder rumbled in the distance 环境类 暴雨将至的预警，烘托 “紧张期待” 氛围
Paragraph 2-1 surged forward, crashing against the dam 动作 + 环境类 水位上涨的危机场景，为 “设施奏效” 做反衬
Paragraph 2-2 held firm 动作类 堤坝的关键作用，体现 “自然智慧 + 实践” 的成功
Paragraph 2-3 flowed smoothly along the overflow channel 动作 + 环境类 溢流通道的效果，直接印证 “学以致用” 的价值
Paragraph 2-4 swayed gently in the breeze 动作 + 环境类 玉米地安全的标志，呼应 “守护回忆” 的初心
Paragraph 2-5 patted Jane’s shoulder in pride 动作 + 情感类 父亲的认可，体现 “成长与肯定”，深化主题
Paragraph 2-6 was using what you know to protect what you love 主题类 全文主旨升华，直接扣 “自然智慧 + 学以致用” 核心主题山东省日照2026届高三11月质量检测
读后续写二次学案教师版
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整短文。
Jane was a sweet farm girl, brought up by her late grandmother. Her family managed a stretch of cornfield. The cornfield lay south of a stream, which was in turn south of vast woods. When she was little, her days were mostly spent running and exploring on the cornfield where her parents worked.
Jane had always loved nature, as her grandmother would take her on engaging walks through the cornfield and sometimes into the woods. Together, they would marvel at how ants worked together to carry leaves many times their size or how spiders wove perfect webs for food. “There’s so much wisdom in the world around’ us,” her grandmother would say, “All you have to do is look carefully and listen intently.”
She also got inspiration from her science lessons. Her teacher introduced a fascinating topic: beavers. Jane listened attentively and learned how these industrious animals build natural dams. She marveled at how these amazing creatures build such a steady architecture (dam) simply with branches, stones and mud by the riverbank. She was also surprised to know that they make an overflow channel to let extra water flow into a low, grassy area. “Beavers are such wise engineers. They don’t just block water with their dams, but they also redirect it.” the teacher vividly illustrated. Jane was totally captivated. It reminded her of Grandma’s lessons on the cornfield.
Rainy seasons came, and the air thick with the promise of storm. Staring out of the window, Dad sighed, and worriedly said: “When the stream overflows, the cornfield will be flooded.” Mom held his hand tightly. “We’ll just have to hope the damage is not too severe,” she sighed quietly, “if only there’s a way...”
Silence swelled the room. Jane was filled with worry. Her thoughts lingered on the cornfield that held the cherished memories of countless walks with Grandma, though she was not with her any more. Jane felt an overwhelming need to protect this special place from the upcoming storm.
注意：
(1)续写词数应为150个左右;
(2)请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。
Thinking of grandma’s words, Jane spoke up: “I have an idea!”
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It having rained for several days, the water level rose.
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【原文翻译】
简（Jane）是个温柔的农场女孩，由已故的奶奶抚养长大。她家打理着一片玉米地，这片玉米地坐落在一条小溪的北边，而小溪的北边又连着一片广袤的树林。小时候，她的日子大多是在父母劳作的玉米地里奔跑、探索中度过的。
简一直热爱自然 —— 奶奶以前常会带她在玉米地里漫步，有时还会走进树林。祖孙俩会一起惊叹：蚂蚁如何齐心协力搬运比自身大好几倍的树叶，蜘蛛如何织出完美的蛛网来捕食。“我们身边的世界藏着太多智慧，” 奶奶总会说，“你要做的，只是仔细观察、用心倾听。”
她也从科学课上获得过启发。老师讲过一个有趣的主题：海狸。简听得十分认真，了解到这些勤劳的动物会建造天然水坝。她惊叹于这些神奇的小家伙仅用岸边的树枝、石头和泥土，就能搭建出如此坚固的建筑（水坝）。更让她惊讶的是，海狸还会挖掘一条溢流通道，让多余的水流进一片低洼的草地。“海狸真是聪明的工程师啊。它们不只是用水坝挡水，还会引导水流方向。” 老师生动地讲解着。简完全被吸引住了，这让她想起了奶奶在玉米地里教给她的那些道理。
雨季来了，空气中弥漫着暴风雨将至的气息。简望着窗外，爸爸叹了口气，忧心忡忡地说：“等小溪涨水漫出来，玉米地就要被淹了。” 妈妈紧紧握住他的手，轻声叹道：“我们只能祈祷灾情别太严重…… 要是有办法就好了……”
房间里一片寂静。简满心焦虑，思绪始终萦绕在那片玉米地上 —— 那里留存着无数和奶奶一起漫步的珍贵回忆，尽管奶奶已经不在了。简心中涌起强烈的愿望：她要保护这片特别的土地，不让它被即将到来的暴风雨摧毁。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文，深度解读
1. 读情节
开端：农场女孩 Jane 由已故奶奶抚养长大，家中经营一片玉米地，玉米地南临小溪、溪南接广袤树林。Jane 自幼热爱自然，奶奶常带她在玉米地和树林探索，传授 “观察与倾听自然智慧” 的道理。
发展：科学课上，Jane 被老师讲解的海狸筑坝知识吸引 —— 海狸用树枝、石头和泥土筑坝，还会设计溢流通道疏导多余水流，这让她想起奶奶的教诲，深受启发。
转折：雨季来临，暴风雨将至，父亲担忧小溪泛滥会淹没玉米地，父母束手无策，Jane 满心焦虑，决心保护这片承载着与奶奶珍贵回忆的玉米地。
续写开端：描写 Jane 结合奶奶的教诲与海狸筑坝知识，提出保护方案，说服父母后，全家共同行动，模仿海狸搭建简易 “导流设施” 的过程。
续写结局：描写暴雨持续后水位上涨，Jane 设计的设施成功疏导水流，玉米地安然无恙，升华 “自然是最好的老师”“学以致用”“传承智慧” 的主题。
2. 读人物
Jane：善良孝顺（珍视与奶奶的回忆，想保护家庭玉米地），热爱自然（善于观察、倾听），勤于思考（将课堂知识与实际问题结合），勇敢果断（主动提出方案并付诸行动），是 “传承与创新” 的体现。
父母：勤劳朴实（经营玉米地），爱女心切（担忧玉米地但尊重 Jane 的想法），从最初的担忧犹豫到全力支持，是 Jane 行动的坚强后盾。
奶奶（精神象征）：充满智慧（引导 Jane 感悟自然），是 Jane 的精神指引，其 “观察倾听” 的教诲贯穿全文，推动 Jane 解决问题。
3. 读时态
全文以一般过去时为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突：暴雨威胁与玉米地安全的矛盾（自然灾害与人类守护财产的冲突）；Jane 的 “年轻经验不足” 与 “解决复杂灾害问题” 的现实挑战。
内在冲突：Jane “保护玉米地的强烈愿望” 与 “担心方案不被认可、无法奏效” 的心理挣扎；“奶奶的精神指引” 与 “科学知识” 的融合思考。
5. 读情绪发展
Jane：热爱自然（童年探索）→ 深受启发（课堂学海狸知识）→ 焦虑担忧（暴雨将至）→（续写发展：坚定→兴奋→专注→紧张）→（续写结局：欣慰→自豪→感悟）父母：担忧无助（谈论洪水威胁）→（续写发展：犹豫→好奇→支持→期待）
6. 读主题
自然的智慧（海狸筑坝的启示，自然是解决问题的灵感源泉）
学以致用（将课堂知识与生活实际结合，把理论转化为行动）
智慧的传承（奶奶的教诲是精神根基，支撑 Jane 解决问题）
守护与责任（守护承载回忆的家园，是对亲情的延续）
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落 句子功能 你的句子构思
第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描写 Jane 提出方案的坚定态度（如 “她眼神发亮，迫不及待地向父母分享自己从海狸筑坝得到的灵感，语气里满是不容置疑的坚定”）。
2. 动作 / 心理推进 刻画父母的反应与 Jane 的耐心解释（如 “父母面露疑惑，Jane 拿起树枝在地上画图，详细说明要模仿海狸筑导流坝和溢流通道”）。
3. 有效过渡 描写父母的态度转变（如 “父亲盯着地上的草图，若有所思，母亲也点头表示赞同，决定相信女儿的想法”）。
4. 有效衔接 描述全家行动的具体过程（如 “全家立刻动手，收集树枝、石头和泥土，在小溪旁搭建简易导流坝，还挖了一条浅沟作为溢流通道”）。
5. 段落收束 以行动完成后的期待与紧张收尾（如 “当最后一块石头压实，天边已响起雷声，Jane 望着自己的‘作品’，既期待又忐忑，希望能阻挡洪水”）。
第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 描写暴雨与水位上涨的严峻场景（如 “连日的暴雨倾盆而下，小溪的水位急剧上升，浑浊的水流奔腾着，眼看就要漫过河岸”）。
7. 情节发展 描写导流设施发挥作用的过程（如 “关键时刻，Jane 搭建的导流坝减缓了水流速度，溢流通道顺利将多余的水引向旁边的低洼草地，没有冲向玉米地”）。
8. 主题升华 通过 Jane 或父母的感悟点题（如 “父亲望着安然无恙的玉米地，感慨道：‘自然的智慧和孩子的巧思，救了我们的庄稼’”）。
9. 结局呈现 描写 Jane 的成长与感悟（如 “Jane 蹲在小溪边，看着水流顺着通道缓缓流淌，想起奶奶的话和海狸的智慧，明白了观察与学习的真正意义”）。
10. 富有余韵的结尾 用场景定格收尾（如 “雨过天晴，阳光洒在绿油油的玉米地和清澈的小溪上，Jane 知道，奶奶的智慧与自然的启示，会永远陪伴她成长”）。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言
1. 人物心理描写
坚定自信（Jane 提方案时）：Jane’s mind was clear as she spoke—she was sure the beaver’s wisdom and Grandma’s lessons would help protect the cornfield.（Jane 说话时思路清晰，她确信海狸的智慧和奶奶的教诲能帮助保护玉米地。）
犹豫担忧（父母初始反应）：Dad frowned, uncertainty clouding his face—he wanted to trust Jane, but he worried a young girl’s idea couldn’t stop the flood.（爸爸皱起眉，脸上满是疑虑 —— 他想相信 Jane，但担心一个小姑娘的想法挡不住洪水。）
欣慰自豪（方案奏效后）：A surge of pride rushed through Jane as she watched the water flow along the channel—her idea had worked, and she’d kept Grandma’s memories safe.（看着水流顺着通道流淌，Jane 心中涌起一股自豪 —— 她的想法奏效了，她守护住了奶奶的回忆。）
2. 情感描写
焦虑担忧（暴雨将至）：Worry gnawed at Jane’s heart as she thought about the cornfield—those walks with Grandma, the laughter, and the quiet wisdom shared there would be lost if the flood came.（想到玉米地，担忧啃噬着 Jane 的心 —— 如果洪水来袭，那些和奶奶一起散步、欢笑、分享智慧的时光就会消失。）
兴奋期待（行动时）：Excitement bubbled up in Jane as she gathered branches and stones—every piece she picked up was a step closer to saving the cornfield, a step toward honoring Grandma.（收集树枝和石头时，Jane 心中涌起兴奋 —— 每捡起一件东西，就离拯救玉米地、缅怀奶奶更近一步。）
释然欣慰（危机解除）：Relief washed over the family as they saw the cornfield unharmed—the rain stopped, and the sun peeked through the clouds, as if smiling at their success.（看到玉米地安然无恙，全家都松了一口气 —— 雨停了，阳光透过云层，仿佛在为他们的成功微笑。）
3. 动作描写
提出方案（Jane）：Jane leaned forward, eyes shining, and grabbed a stick to draw on the ground. She traced the path of the stream, marked the cornfield, and showed where they’d build the dam and channel.（Jane 身体前倾，眼睛发亮，抓起一根树枝在地上画起来。她勾勒出小溪的流向，标出玉米地的位置，示意他们要在哪里筑坝和挖通道。）
全家行动（父母 + Jane）：Dad hauled thick branches to the stream bank, Mom piled stones and mud to reinforce the structure, and Jane carefully dug a shallow ditch to redirect extra water.（爸爸把粗树枝拖到溪岸边，妈妈堆起石头和泥土加固设施，Jane 则细心地挖了一条浅沟来疏导多余的水流。）
观察效果（Jane）：Jane stood at the edge of the cornfield, hands clasped tightly, watching as the rising water hit the dam and flowed smoothly into the overflow channel—no drop touched the precious corn.（Jane 站在玉米地边缘，双手紧握，看着上涨的水流撞击堤坝，然后顺利流入溢流通道 —— 没有一滴水碰到珍贵的玉米。）
4. 环境象征描写
玉米地→亲情与回忆：The cornfield wasn’t just a patch of crops—it was a treasure trove of memories with Grandma, a symbol of love and family that Jane was determined to protect.（玉米地不仅仅是一片庄稼 —— 它是与奶奶回忆的宝库，是爱与家庭的象征，Jane 决心要守护它。）
海狸坝→智慧与解决方案：The beaver’s dam wasn’t just a natural structure—it was a metaphor for practical wisdom, showing Jane that nature holds the answers to life’s problems.（海狸的堤坝不仅仅是自然构造 —— 它是实用智慧的隐喻，让 Jane 明白自然中藏着生活问题的答案。）
暴雨与溪流→挑战与考验：The storm and rising stream weren’t just a disaster—they were a test of Jane’s courage, creativity, and ability to turn lessons into action.（暴雨和上涨的溪流不仅仅是灾难 —— 它们是对 Jane 勇气、创造力和学以致用能力的考验。）
【专项微训练】—— 为故事注入灵魂
训练一：环境描写 烘托心情
（选择贴合氛围的词语造句，强化场景与情绪的关联）
心情 可选词汇（中英对照） 你的造句
焦虑 / 担忧 乌云密布 (dark clouds gathering); 雷声隆隆 (thunder rumbling); 溪水浑浊 (turbid stream water) Jane 站在窗前，______，心中满是对玉米地的担忧，生怕暴雨毁了一切。
坚定 / 期待 眼神发亮 (eyes shining brightly); 工具就绪 (tools ready); 夕阳余晖 (afterglow of sunset) ______，Jane 和父母站在溪岸边，准备动手搭建导流设施，心中充满希望。
欣慰 / 安宁 雨过天晴 (sky clearing up); 溪水潺潺 (stream gurgling); 玉米青翠 (green cornstalks) ______，Jane 望着完好无损的玉米地，脸上露出了久违的笑容。
参考答案
Jane 站在窗前，dark clouds gathering in the sky, thunder rumbling in the distance, and turbid stream water rushing by（天空乌云密布，远处雷声隆隆，浑浊的溪水流淌而过），心中满是对玉米地的担忧，生怕暴雨毁了一切。
Eyes shining brightly with determination, tools like branches and stones laid out neatly, and afterglow of sunset painting the sky（眼中闪烁着坚定的光芒，树枝、石头等工具整齐摆放，夕阳余晖染红了天空），Jane 和父母站在溪岸边，准备动手搭建导流设施，心中充满希望。
Sky clearing up after the rain, stream gurgling gently along the channel, and green cornstalks swaying in the breeze（雨后天空放晴，溪水沿着通道缓缓流淌，青翠的玉米秆在微风中摇曳），Jane 望着完好无损的玉米地，脸上露出了久违的笑容。
训练二：人物刻画 于细微处见真情
（将抽象描述与具体动作 / 神态连线，选择一句仿写，凸显人物性格）
Jane 坚定自信 A. She leaned forward, drew a sketch with a stick, and said firmly: “We can copy beavers—build a dam and a channel to redirect water!”
父母犹豫担忧 B. They exchanged worried glances, Dad scratched his head, and Mom whispered: “Can a kid’s idea really work against the flood ”
全家欣慰自豪 C. They stood side by side, watching the cornfield, and Dad patted Jane’s shoulder: “You did it—nature and grandma’s lessons saved us!”
连线答案：1-A；2-B；3-C仿写示例（选择第 1 句）：He straightened his back, pointed at the plan on the paper, and said confidently: “We can use the knowledge from class—this method will solve the problem!”（他挺直后背，指着纸上的方案，自信地说：“我们可以用课堂上学到的知识 —— 这个方法能解决问题！”）
训练三：情感表达 找到 “高级替身”
（替换直白词汇，让情感表达更细腻生动）
直白表达 高级替代表达（中英对照）
“担忧”（Jane） worry gnaw at one’s heart（担忧啃噬内心）；a wave of anxiety sweep over sb（一阵焦虑席卷全身）
“坚定”（Jane） be filled with unshakable determination（内心充满不可动摇的决心）；eyes burn with resolve（眼中燃烧着决心）
“欣慰”（父母） a sense of relief flood over sb（一阵释然涌上心头）；be overcome with joy and gratitude（满心欢喜与感激）
例句升级原句：Jane was very worried about the cornfield. She was determined to protect it, and her parents felt very relieved when the plan worked.升级句：Worry gnawed at Jane’s heart as she thought about the cornfield, and she was filled with unshakable determination to protect it. When the plan worked, a sense of relief flooded over her parents—they were overcome with joy and gratitude.（想到玉米地，担忧啃噬着 Jane 的内心，她充满了不可动摇的保护决心。方案奏效时，父母心中涌上一阵释然，满心欢喜与感激。）
训练四：动作细节 让情感可视化
（为情境补充具体动作，体现人物内心，避免 “直白描述”）
情境 直白版 细节版（参考）
1. Jane 提方案时（体现 “坚定”） Jane 很坚定地向父母提建议。 Jane took a deep breath, placed her hands on the table, and fixed her parents with a steady gaze. She grabbed a stick and drew rapidly on the ground, explaining her idea clearly: “Beavers build dams to control water—we can do the same!”（Jane 深吸一口气，双手放在桌上，目光坚定地看着父母。她抓起一根树枝在地上快速画起来，清晰地解释自己的想法：“海狸筑坝控水 —— 我们也可以这么做！”）
2. 父母行动时（体现 “支持”） 父母帮助 Jane 搭建设施。 Dad rolled up his sleeves and carried heavy branches to the stream, his steps firm with resolve. Mom knelt down to mix mud and stones, carefully piling them to form the dam, and occasionally looked up to smile at Jane, showing her support.（爸爸卷起袖子，把粗树枝搬到溪边，步伐坚定。妈妈蹲下混合泥土和石头，细心堆砌成堤坝，还时不时抬头对 Jane 微笑，表达支持。）
3. 看到玉米地安全时（体现 “欣慰”） 全家很欣慰看到玉米地没事。 Mom clapped her hands gently, tears of relief glistening in her eyes. Dad pulled Jane into a warm hug, his voice thick with emotion: “You’re our little hero.” Jane grinned, wiping a drop of rain from her cheek, and looked at the cornfield with pride.（妈妈轻轻拍手，眼中闪烁着释然的泪水。爸爸把 Jane 拥入温暖的怀抱，声音哽咽：“你是我们的小英雄。”Jane 咧嘴笑了，擦去脸颊上的一滴雨水，自豪地望着玉米地。）
训练五：象征与隐喻 让主题更深刻
（将抽象概念与故事中的 “具体事物” 关联，深化主题，避免 “直白点题”）
奶奶的教诲 → 不仅是 “观察自然” 的提醒，更象征着 the inheritance of wisdom（智慧的传承），是 Jane 面对困难时的精神支柱，指引她找到解决问题的方向。
海狸筑坝知识 → 不仅是 “课堂知识点”，更象征着 practical learning（实用的学问），证明书本知识与生活实践结合，能发挥巨大价值。
导流设施 → 不仅是 “防洪工具”，更象征着 the power of creativity（创造力的力量），是 Jane 将智慧与行动结合的成果，体现了年轻一代的潜力。
四、综合训练与范文引导
训练：补全段落（结合 “十句五定法” 框架与微写作技巧，完善续写内容）
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Thinking of grandma’s words, Jane spoke up: “I have an idea!”Her eyes burned with resolve as she leaned forward, grabbing a stick to draw on the ground. “Remember what we learned about beavers in science class They build dams with branches and mud, and dig channels to let extra water flow away!” She traced the stream’s path and marked the cornfield, explaining how they could copy the beavers to protect their crops. Dad frowned, uncertainty clouding his face, but Mom nodded thoughtfully: “It’s worth a try—we have nothing to lose.” Encouraged, the family sprang into action. Dad hauled thick branches to the stream bank, Mom mixed mud and stones to reinforce the structure, and Jane carefully dug a shallow overflow channel leading to the low-lying grassland. By dusk, their simple but sturdy dam and channel were ready. As thunder rumbled in the distance, Jane stared at their handiwork, her heart pounding with hope.
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It having rained for several days, the water level rose.Turbid stream water surged forward, crashing against the dam Jane’s family had built. For a moment, Jane held her breath, worried the structure might collapse. But to her relief, the dam held firm, slowing the water’s force. The overflow channel worked perfectly too—extra water flowed smoothly into the grassland, never touching the cornfield’s edge. When the rain finally stopped, the family rushed to the cornfield: green cornstalks swayed gently in the breeze, unharmed by the flood. A sense of relief flooded over Dad as he patted Jane’s shoulder: “You did it, kid. Grandma’s wisdom and your science lesson saved our crops.” Jane smiled, remembering Grandma’s words: “There’s so much wisdom in the world around us.” She realized that true learning isn’t just in books or memories—it’s in using what you know to protect what you love.
范文亮点解析
情节连贯：严格遵循 “提出方案→说服父母→全家行动→暴雨考验→设施奏效→感悟成长” 的逻辑，呼应原文 “自然智慧→学以致用→守护回忆” 的核心线索，情节紧凑无脱节。
细节鲜活：通过 “抓树枝画图”“卷袖子搬树枝”“混合泥土石头” 等动作细节，具象化人物行为；用 “雷声隆隆”“浑浊水流撞击堤坝” 等环境细节，增强场景真实感；人物情绪从 “担忧→坚定→紧张→欣慰” 层层递进，情感饱满。
主题深刻：通过父亲的感慨与 Jane 的内心独白，自然升华 “自然智慧”“学以致用”“智慧传承” 三大主题，既呼应奶奶的教诲，又体现科学知识的价值，避免直白说教。
