烟台市2026届高三上学期期中学业水平诊断英语试题
读后续写二次开发学案学生版
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整短文。
One hot day, Vivian decided to take her 3-year-old son, Ben, to a nearby park, something she rarely did. Ben was too naughty and unpredictable in public, and she had grown used to the judgmental stares from other parents, who seemed to silently accuse her of “bad parenting” for not controlling him. Still, she wanted to get him out of the house.
When they reached the park with such toys as a bucket (水桶) and a truck, Vivian felt a wave of relief — only two others were there: a woman and her daughter about 6 years old, playing in the large sandbox. Vivian tried to guide Ben to the swings, but he made a beeline for the sandbox. Though she had an anxious “oh no” feeling, she didn’t stop him. She just crossed her fingers and let him join.
Of course, it didn’t take long: Ben grabbed a handful of sand and threw it straight at the girl. Vivian froze, her face burning with shame. Stammering apologies, she rushed over to brush the sand and turned on the water tap beside the sandbox, ready to help wash the girl’s face.
To her surprise, the girl smiled instead of crying and held out a tool to Ben, inviting Ben to join her, “Sand’s soft! Wanna build a castle ” Ben hesitated for a moment before taking it and murmured, “Yeah!”
Vivian gave a sigh of relief, meeting the woman’s beautiful eyes. There was no blame, just a gentle smile. “I’m Clara, and this is Lila. We just moved here,” she said. “Kids are just kids, right ”
“I’m Vivian, and this is Ben,” Vivian responded, warmth spreading through her. “He struggles with impulses (冲动), so I rarely bring him out. Sorry again.”
Clara nodded, “For kids like that, patience helps.” Sure enough, Ben and Lila laughed as they piled sand, with Ben even sharing his toy truck. Vivian and Clara chatted happily. Suddenly, there came Lila’s cry of surprise. They turned, only to find the castle the two kids had been building collapsed.
注意:
(1)续写词数应为150个字左右;
(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
They were about to help when Ben said decidedly, “I’ve got a good idea.”
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Half an hour later, a new higher castle stood before the two mothers.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【原文翻译】
炎热的一天,薇薇安(Vivian)决定带 3 岁的儿子本(Ben)去附近的公园 —— 这是她极少做的事。本太过调皮,在公共场合的行为又难以预料,薇薇安早已习惯了其他家长投来的审视目光:他们似乎在无声地指责她 “教子无方”,连自己的孩子都管不住。尽管如此,她还是想带本走出家门,多接触外界。
两人带着水桶、卡车等玩具来到公园,薇薇安松了口气 —— 公园里只有两个人:一位女士和她约莫 6 岁的女儿,正在大沙坑里玩耍。薇薇安本想引导本去秋千区,可本却径直奔向了沙坑。尽管她心里咯噔一下,冒出 “糟了” 的担忧,却没有阻止他,只是在心里默默祈祷,任由本加入了她们。
果然,没过多久就出了状况:本抓起一把沙子,径直朝那个小女孩扔了过去。薇薇安僵在原地,羞愧得满脸发烫。她结结巴巴地道歉,快步走过去帮小女孩拂掉身上的沙子,还打开沙坑旁的水龙头,准备帮孩子清洗脸颊。
可让她意外的是,小女孩没有哭,反而笑了起来,还递给本一件玩具工具,邀请他一起玩:“沙子软软的!要不要一起建城堡呀?” 本犹豫了片刻,接过工具,小声应道:“好呀!”
薇薇安松了口气,抬头对上那位女士温柔的目光 —— 对方眼里没有丝毫责备,只有浅浅的笑意。“我叫克拉拉(Clara),这是我女儿莱拉(Lila)。我们刚搬来这儿。” 她说道,“孩子嘛,本来就是这样,不是吗?”
“我是薇薇安,这是我儿子本。” 薇薇安回应道,一股暖意涌上心头,“他特别容易冲动,所以我很少带他出来。再次跟你道歉。”
克拉拉点了点头:“对这样的孩子,耐心最重要。” 果然,本和莱拉堆沙子时笑个不停,本甚至还主动分享了他的玩具卡车。薇薇安和克拉拉也聊得十分投机。突然,莱拉发出一声惊讶的叫喊。两人转头看去,只见两个孩子合力搭建的沙堡,竟然塌了。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
1. 读情节
开端
发展
转折
续写第一段
续写第二段
2. 读人物
“我”
George
女婿
岳父
3. 读时态
全文以________________为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突
内在冲突
5. 读情绪发展
Vivian:焦虑担忧(带 Ben 出门)→ 羞愧紧张(Ben 扔沙子)→ 释然温暖(被 Clara 包容)→(续写发展:__________________)→(续写结局:_____________________)
Ben:兴奋冲动(奔向沙坑)→ 犹豫尝试(接受邀请)→ 投入快乐(合作建沙堡)→
(续写发展:_________________)→(续写结局:________________________)
Clara & Lila:平和友善(初始状态)→ 包容接纳(Ben 扔沙子后)→ 愉快互动(合作过程中)→(续写发展:______________)→(续写结局:________________________)
读主题
______________________________________
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落 句子功能 你的句子构思
第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描写 Ben 提出想法时的坚定神态(如 ____________________________)。
2. 动作 / 心理推进 刻画 Ben 解释方案与 Lila 的反应(_______________________________)。
3. 有效过渡 描写孩子们动手实践的初始动作(如 _____________________________)。
4. 有效衔接 描述实践中的细节与小波折(如__________________________________)。
5. 段落收束 以沙堡重建的初步进展收尾(如__________________________________)。
第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 描写新沙堡建成后的惊艳模样(如 ________________________________)。
7. 情节发展 描写孩子们与母亲们的反应(如 _________________________________)。
8. 主题升华 通过母亲对话或心理感悟点题(如 ________________________________)。
9. 结局呈现 描写后续互动与情感联结(如___________________________________)。
10. 富有余韵的结尾 用场景定格收尾(如 ____________________________________)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言
1. 人物心理描写
坚定自信(Ben 提想法时):_________________________________________________________.(Ben 说话时眼神闪烁着坚定的光芒,他渴望修好倒塌的城堡,证明自己能做好。)
欣慰感动(Vivian 看到孩子合作时):__________________________________________________(看着 Ben 和 Lila 一起合作,Vivian 心中涌起一阵释然与喜悦的暖流,她从未见过儿子如此专注友善。)
包容理解(Clara 看待孩子时):_______________________________________________________(Clara 带着包容的微笑看着孩子们,知道犯错和混乱都是成长的一部分,耐心是给他们最好的礼物。)
2. 情感描写
羞愧紧张(Vivian 面对 Ben 扔沙子):________________________________________________(Ben 向 Lila 扔沙子时,羞愧灼烧着 Vivian 的脸颊,她准备好接受那位女士的责备,害怕熟悉的审视目光。)
惊喜温暖(Vivian 被包容后):________________________________________________________(当 Clara 温柔微笑时,惊喜与温暖席卷了 Vivian,她没想到会得到这样的理解,这让她在困境中不再感到孤单。)
兴奋自豪(孩子们建成新沙堡时):____________________________________________________(看着新建成的城堡,Ben 和 Lila 心中涌起兴奋,他们眼中闪烁着自豪的光芒,知道自己一起创造了了不起的东西。)
3. 动作描写
冲动行为(Ben 扔沙子):___________________________________________________________(Ben 突然抓起一把沙子,手臂向后一挥,径直扔向 Lila,小脸上毫无迟疑。)
合作重建(孩子们建沙堡):__________________________________________________________(Ben 小心翼翼地往沙子里加水,用小手搅拌均匀,Lila 则用铲子把湿沙子堆到底座上。他们默契地互相递工具,配合得十分融洽。)
欣慰互动(母亲们的反应):________________________________________________________(Vivian 伸出手轻轻握住 Clara 的手,脸上带着感激的微笑。Clara 回拍她的后背,两人对视一眼,彼此理解。)
4. 环境象征描写
沙坑→社交与成长的舞台:___________________________________________________________(沙坑不仅仅是玩耍的地方 —— 它是一个小世界,孩子们在这里学会分享、合作和弥补错误,是 Ben 第一次积极社交体验的舞台。)
倒塌的沙堡→挫折与契机:___________________________________________________________(倒塌的城堡不仅仅是失败的作品 —— 它是 Ben 学习解决问题和培养韧性的契机,将挫折转化为动力。)
新沙堡→合作与成长的成果:_________________________________________________________(那座新的高大城堡不仅仅是一座沙制建筑 —— 它象征着 Ben 和 Lila 之间的联结,以及 Ben 通过耐心和团队合作所取得的成长。)
【专项微训练】—— 为故事注入灵魂
训练一:环境描写 烘托心情
(选择贴合氛围的词语造句,强化场景与情绪的关联)
心情 可选词汇(中英对照) 你的造句
紧张 / 羞愧 烈日灼灼 (scorching sun); 沙粒飞溅 (sand flying); 目光聚焦 (eyes focusing on) Vivian 站在沙坑边,______,心跳加速,生怕 Clara 会严厉指责 Ben 的行为。
温暖 / 释然 微风拂面 (gentle breeze); 笑容柔和 (soft smile); 沙堡成型 (sandcastle taking shape) ______,Vivian 看着孩子们专注的身影,心中的焦虑渐渐消散,取而代之的是满满的温暖。
兴奋 / 自豪 夕阳斜照 (setting sun slanting); 城堡耸立 (castle standing tall); 欢呼雀跃 (cheering and jumping) ______,Ben 和 Lila 围着新沙堡欢呼,脸上洋溢着灿烂的笑容。
参考答案
Vivian 站在沙坑边,scorching sun beating down, sand flying in the air, and all eyes focusing on them(烈日灼灼,沙粒飞溅,所有目光都聚焦在他们身上),心跳加速,生怕 Clara 会严厉指责 Ben 的行为。
Gentle breeze brushing their cheeks, Clara’s soft smile lingering in her mind, and the sandcastle slowly taking shape(微风拂面,Clara 柔和的笑容萦绕在脑海,沙堡渐渐成型),Vivian 看着孩子们专注的身影,心中的焦虑渐渐消散,取而代之的是满满的温暖。
Setting sun slanting over the park, the new castle standing tall in the sandbox, and the two kids cheering and jumping(夕阳斜照公园,新城堡在沙坑中耸立,两个孩子欢呼雀跃),Ben 和 Lila 围着新沙堡欢呼,脸上洋溢着灿烂的笑容。
训练二:人物刻画 于细微处见真情
(将抽象描述与具体动作 / 神态连线,选择一句仿写,凸显人物性格)
Ben 坚定主动 A. He puffed out his chest, grabbed Lila’s hand, and said firmly: “We can build a better one! Use water to make sand sticky!”
Lila 友善包容 B. She wiped the sand off her face, smiled brightly, and held out her shovel: “Come on! Let’s try again together!”
Clara 温柔理解 C. She nodded gently, crossed her arms loosely, and said with a smile: “Let them figure it out—kids learn best by trying.”
连线答案:1-A;2-B;3-C
仿写示例(选择第 1 句):___________________________________________________________(她挺直后背,拿起团队的方案,自信地说:“我们能完成这项任务!大家分工,现在开始!”)
训练三:情感表达 找到 “高级替身”
(替换直白词汇,让情感表达更细腻生动)
直白表达 高级替代表达(中英对照)
“紧张”(Vivian) ___________________________________(心里七上八下); ___________________________________(心跳加速)
“温暖”(Vivian) _______________________________(一股暖流流过全身); ________________________________(暖意充斥胸膛)
“兴奋”(Ben) ________________________________(兴奋感涌上心头); ____________________________(眼睛因兴奋而发亮)
例句升级原句:Vivian was very nervous when Ben threw sand. She felt warm after Clara’s comfort, and Ben was very excited when building the new castle.
升级句:_________________________________________________________________________(Ben 扔沙子时,Vivian 心里七上八下。Clara 安慰后,一股暖流流过她的全身。建新城堡时,Ben 兴奋感涌上心头,眼睛因兴奋而发亮。)
训练四:动作细节 让情感可视化
(为情境补充具体动作,体现人物内心,避免 “直白描述”)
情境 直白版 细节版(参考)
1. Ben 提想法时(体现 “坚定”) Ben 很坚定地提出自己的想法。 提示: (Ben 攥紧小拳头,微微扬起下巴,坚定地看着 Lila。他轻轻拉了拉她的袖子,清晰地说:“我有个好主意 —— 我们把沙子和水混合,这样会更坚固!”)
2. Lila 回应时(体现 “友善”) Lila 同意了 Ben 的想法,很友善。 提示:(Lila 脸上露出喜悦的笑容,用力点头。她把自己最喜欢的铲子递给 Ben,急切地说:“好主意!你去接水的时候我来帮你扶着水桶!”)
3. Vivian 感谢 Clara 时(体现 “感激”) Vivian 很感激 Clara 的包容。 提示:(Vivian 看着 Clara,眼中闪烁着感激的泪光。她伸出手紧紧握住 Clara 的手,声音微微颤抖:“非常感谢你的理解,这对我和 Ben 来说意义重大。”)
训练五:象征与隐喻 让主题更深刻
(将抽象概念与故事中的 “具体事物” 关联,深化主题,避免 “直白点题”)
混合水的沙子 → 不仅是 “建堡材料”,更象征着______________________________,Ben 学会调整方法、配合他人,才能建成更稳固的城堡。
新沙堡 → 不仅是 “玩耍成果”,更象征着 ________________________________,是 Ben 成长的见证,也是两个孩子、两个家庭友谊的起点。
Clara 的微笑 → 不仅是 “礼貌表情”,更象征着 _______________________________,这抹微笑化解了尴尬,为孩子的成长创造了安全包容的环境。
四、综合训练与范文引导
(一)短文填空训练(聚焦核心关键词,提示词 + 时态提示:全程用一般过去时)
请根据范文语境、提示词(中文释义 / 词性 / 时态 / 场景提示),补全下列段落,强化对儿童成长 + 友善包容主题核心词的掌握。
Paragraph 1
They were about to help when Ben said decidedly, “I’ve got a good idea.”He ______(提示:动作 + 情感词块,自信地挺起胸膛,past tense of “puff out” + “his chest confidently”)and grabbed Lila’s hand. “We can mix sand with water—it’ll be stronger!” he explained clearly. Lila ______(提示:动作 + 情感词块,急切地点头并递工具,past tense of “nod” + “eagerly and hand him a shovel”). Ben ______(提示:动作 + 环境词块,跑去水龙头接水,past tense of “run” + “to the tap to get water with the bucket”), while Lila sorted the sand to remove small stones. At first, Ben poured too much water, making the sand muddy. He ______(提示:情感 + 动作词块,沮丧地皱眉,past tense of “frown” + “in frustration”), but Lila ______(提示:动作 + 情感词块,轻轻拍他肩膀,past tense of “pat” + “his shoulder gently”): “Let’s add more sand!” They adjusted back and forth, and soon the wet sand was perfect. Vivian watched them, ______(提示:情感词块,心中涌起暖意,past tense of “feel” + “warmth spread through her chest”). Clara stood beside her, whispering: “Kids learn best by trying.”
Paragraph 2
Half an hour later, a new higher castle stood before the two mothers.It had a wide, solid base and small toy flags on the towers—______(提示:环境词块,在沙坑中耸立,past tense of “stand” + “tall in the sandbox”). Ben and Lila ______(提示:动作 + 情感词块,欢呼着蹦跳,past tense of “jump” + “up and down, cheering loudly”). “We did it!” Ben shouted, ______(提示:动作词块,兴奋地拥抱 Lila,past tense of “hug” + “Lila excitedly”). Pride ______(提示:情感词块,在他们眼中闪烁,past tense of “shine” + “in their eyes”). Vivian knelt down, touching the castle gently, and said to Clara: “Thank you for your tolerance—Ben has (提示:成长词块,学会合作,past tense of “learn” + “to cooperate”).” Clara smiled: “(提示:主题词块,友善比指责更能帮助孩子成长,past tense of “be” + “kindness better than blame for kids’ growth”).” Later, they exchanged contact information, promising to meet again.
(二)参考答案与关键词对应解析
填空位置 英文答案 关键词类型 对应高频词块(回顾强化)
Paragraph 1-1 puffed out his chest confidently 动作 + 情感类 Ben 主动解决问题的核心神态,体现 “成长” 中的 “坚定自信”,贴合 “成长收获” 场景
Paragraph 1-2 nodded eagerly and handed him a shovel 动作 + 情感类 Lila 友善包容的关键动作,呼应 “友善化解” 主题,体现孩子间的积极互动
Paragraph 1-3 ran to the tap to get water with the bucket 动作 + 环境类 合作重建的分工细节,具象化 “成长” 中的 “实践能力”,关联 “沙坑实践” 场景
Paragraph 1-4 frowned in frustration 情感 + 动作类 小波折中的真实情绪,为后续 “调整改进” 做铺垫,凸显 “成长” 的曲折性
Paragraph 1-5 patted his shoulder gently 动作 + 情感类 Lila 包容特质的再次体现,强化 “友善化解” 中 “耐心支持” 的核心
Paragraph 1-6 felt warmth spread through her chest 情感类 Vivian 被场景打动的内心变化,呼应 “友善包容” 带来的情感共鸣
Paragraph 2-1 stood tall in the sandbox 环境类 新沙堡的成果可视化,象征 “成长收获” 的具象化,呼应 “合作成功” 场景
Paragraph 2-2 jumped up and down, cheering loudly 动作 + 情感类 孩子成功后的兴奋反应,直接体现 “成长” 中的 “成就感”,贴合 “成长收获” 主题
Paragraph 2-3 hugging Lila excitedly 动作类 孩子间情感联结的升华,是 “友善包容” 的最终成果,体现 “社交成长”
Paragraph 2-4 shone in their eyes 情感类 孩子成就感的直观表现,强化 “成长收获” 中 “自信建立” 的核心
Paragraph 2-5 learned to cooperate 成长类 Ben 的核心成长点,直接扣 “儿童成长” 主题,呼应 “合作解决问题” 的情节
Paragraph 2-6 Kindness is better than blame for kids’ growth 主题类 全文主旨升华句,精准覆盖 “友善包容 + 儿童成长” 双主题,可直接迁移应试烟台市2026届高三上学期期中学业水平诊断英语试题
读后续写二次开发学案教师版
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整短文。
One hot day, Vivian decided to take her 3-year-old son, Ben, to a nearby park, something she rarely did. Ben was too naughty and unpredictable in public, and she had grown used to the judgmental stares from other parents, who seemed to silently accuse her of “bad parenting” for not controlling him. Still, she wanted to get him out of the house.
When they reached the park with such toys as a bucket (水桶) and a truck, Vivian felt a wave of relief — only two others were there: a woman and her daughter about 6 years old, playing in the large sandbox. Vivian tried to guide Ben to the swings, but he made a beeline for the sandbox. Though she had an anxious “oh no” feeling, she didn’t stop him. She just crossed her fingers and let him join.
Of course, it didn’t take long: Ben grabbed a handful of sand and threw it straight at the girl. Vivian froze, her face burning with shame. Stammering apologies, she rushed over to brush the sand and turned on the water tap beside the sandbox, ready to help wash the girl’s face.
To her surprise, the girl smiled instead of crying and held out a tool to Ben, inviting Ben to join her, “Sand’s soft! Wanna build a castle ” Ben hesitated for a moment before taking it and murmured, “Yeah!”
Vivian gave a sigh of relief, meeting the woman’s beautiful eyes. There was no blame, just a gentle smile. “I’m Clara, and this is Lila. We just moved here,” she said. “Kids are just kids, right ”
“I’m Vivian, and this is Ben,” Vivian responded, warmth spreading through her. “He struggles with impulses (冲动), so I rarely bring him out. Sorry again.”
Clara nodded, “For kids like that, patience helps.” Sure enough, Ben and Lila laughed as they piled sand, with Ben even sharing his toy truck. Vivian and Clara chatted happily. Suddenly, there came Lila’s cry of surprise. They turned, only to find the castle the two kids had been building collapsed.
注意:
(1)续写词数应为150个字左右;
(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
They were about to help when Ben said decidedly, “I’ve got a good idea.”
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Half an hour later, a new higher castle stood before the two mothers.
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【原文翻译】
炎热的一天,薇薇安(Vivian)决定带 3 岁的儿子本(Ben)去附近的公园 —— 这是她极少做的事。本太过调皮,在公共场合的行为又难以预料,薇薇安早已习惯了其他家长投来的审视目光:他们似乎在无声地指责她 “教子无方”,连自己的孩子都管不住。尽管如此,她还是想带本走出家门,多接触外界。
两人带着水桶、卡车等玩具来到公园,薇薇安松了口气 —— 公园里只有两个人:一位女士和她约莫 6 岁的女儿,正在大沙坑里玩耍。薇薇安本想引导本去秋千区,可本却径直奔向了沙坑。尽管她心里咯噔一下,冒出 “糟了” 的担忧,却没有阻止他,只是在心里默默祈祷,任由本加入了她们。
果然,没过多久就出了状况:本抓起一把沙子,径直朝那个小女孩扔了过去。薇薇安僵在原地,羞愧得满脸发烫。她结结巴巴地道歉,快步走过去帮小女孩拂掉身上的沙子,还打开沙坑旁的水龙头,准备帮孩子清洗脸颊。
可让她意外的是,小女孩没有哭,反而笑了起来,还递给本一件玩具工具,邀请他一起玩:“沙子软软的!要不要一起建城堡呀?” 本犹豫了片刻,接过工具,小声应道:“好呀!”
薇薇安松了口气,抬头对上那位女士温柔的目光 —— 对方眼里没有丝毫责备,只有浅浅的笑意。“我叫克拉拉(Clara),这是我女儿莱拉(Lila)。我们刚搬来这儿。” 她说道,“孩子嘛,本来就是这样,不是吗?”
“我是薇薇安,这是我儿子本。” 薇薇安回应道,一股暖意涌上心头,“他特别容易冲动,所以我很少带他出来。再次跟你道歉。”
克拉拉点了点头:“对这样的孩子,耐心最重要。” 果然,本和莱拉堆沙子时笑个不停,本甚至还主动分享了他的玩具卡车。薇薇安和克拉拉也聊得十分投机。突然,莱拉发出一声惊讶的叫喊。两人转头看去,只见两个孩子合力搭建的沙堡,竟然塌了。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
1. 读情节
开端:炎热天气里,Vivian 带 3 岁调皮儿子 Ben 去公园,这是她极少做的事。Ben 在公共场合行为难以预测,Vivian 常因其他家长的审视目光而困扰,却仍希望带他走出家门。
发展:公园内仅有 Clara 和她 6 岁的女儿 Lila 在沙坑玩耍,Ben 执意奔向沙坑,还抓起沙子扔向 Lila。Vivian 羞愧道歉,没想到 Lila 不仅没哭,还邀请 Ben 一起建沙堡,Clara 也温和表示 “孩子就是孩子”,无丝毫责备。
转折:Ben 接受邀请,与 Lila 开心合作建沙堡,甚至主动分享玩具卡车,两位母亲也愉快聊天。就在此时,孩子们搭建的沙堡突然倒塌,Lila 发出惊讶的叫声。
续写开端:描写 Ben 主动提出新想法,带领 Lila 尝试改进方法重建沙堡的过程,体现 Ben 的成长与转变。
续写结局:描写新沙堡成功建成后的场景,突出孩子们的喜悦、母亲们的欣慰,升华 “耐心包容”“友善联结”“儿童成长” 的主题。
2. 读人物
Vivian:细心敏感(在意他人目光),深爱孩子(虽困扰仍尝试带 Ben 外出),内心渴望理解(被 Clara 包容后倍感温暖),是 “焦虑母亲” 到 “释然接纳” 的转变者。
Ben:调皮冲动(公共场合行为难控、扔沙子),本质善良(愿意接受邀请、分享玩具),具备潜力(主动想办法解决问题),核心成长点是 “学会合作与解决问题”。
Clara:温柔包容(面对 Ben 的不当行为无责备),善解人意(理解 Ben 的冲动特质,给出耐心建议),友善开朗(主动交流、拉近距离),是推动情节温暖发展的关键人物。
Lila:天真友善(被扔沙子后不哭闹反而邀请合作),乐于助人(主动分享玩耍工具),乐观豁达(沙堡倒塌后未沮丧),是孩子间友善互动的发起者。
3. 读时态
全文以一般过去时为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突:Ben 的 “冲动行为”(扔沙子)与 “社交规则” 的矛盾;沙堡倒塌后 “重建需求” 与 “现有方法不足” 的矛盾;Vivian 的 “带娃焦虑” 与 “希望孩子正常社交” 的矛盾。
内在冲突:Ben “本能冲动” 与 “理性合作” 的心理挣扎;Vivian “害怕被评判” 与 “渴望接纳” 的内心纠结;Clara “维护女儿” 与 “包容 Ben” 的平衡考量(隐性冲突)。
5. 读情绪发展
Vivian:焦虑担忧(带 Ben 出门)→ 羞愧紧张(Ben 扔沙子)→ 释然温暖(被 Clara 包容)→(续写发展:期待→惊喜→欣慰)→(续写结局:感动→坚定→成长)
Ben:兴奋冲动(奔向沙坑)→ 犹豫尝试(接受邀请)→ 投入快乐(合作建沙堡)→(续写发展:失落→坚定→专注)→(续写结局:自豪→满足→开朗)
Clara & Lila:平和友善(初始状态)→ 包容接纳(Ben 扔沙子后)→ 愉快互动(合作过程中)→(续写发展:惊讶→期待→鼓励)→(续写结局:欣慰→欣赏→温暖)
6. 读主题
耐心与包容的力量(理解孩子的天性,用包容替代责备)
友善是化解矛盾的钥匙(孩子间的善意互动,打破社交壁垒)
成长在尝试与合作中发生(Ben 从冲动到主动解决问题的转变)
接纳不完美,才能收获温暖(Vivian 接纳 Ben 的特质,收获珍贵友谊)
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落 句子功能 你的句子构思
第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描写 Ben 提出想法时的坚定神态(如 “他攥紧小拳头,眼神明亮而坚定,拉着 Lila 的手,语气不容置疑地说出自己的计划”)。
2. 动作 / 心理推进 刻画 Ben 解释方案与 Lila 的反应(如 “Ben 指着旁边的水桶和卡车,说要用沙子混合少量水增加粘性,再用卡车运送沙子加固底座,Lila 眼睛一亮,立刻点头同意”)。
3. 有效过渡 描写孩子们动手实践的初始动作(如 “两人分工合作,Ben 跑去接水,Lila 则小心翼翼地整理倒塌的沙堆,母亲们站在一旁微笑注视”)。
4. 有效衔接 描述实践中的细节与小波折(如 “Ben 一开始控制不好水量,沙子变得太湿,他有点沮丧,Lila 主动递过工具说‘我们少加点水试试’,两人重新调整”)。
5. 段落收束 以沙堡重建的初步进展收尾(如 “在两人的默契配合下,新沙堡的底座渐渐成型,比之前更稳固,他们脸上洋溢着专注的笑容”)。
第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 描写新沙堡建成后的惊艳模样(如 “这座新沙堡比之前更高大,底座宽阔坚实,顶部还装饰着 Ben 的玩具小旗子,远远望去像一座真正的小城堡”)。
7. 情节发展 描写孩子们与母亲们的反应(如 “Ben 和 Lila 兴奋地拍手欢呼,相互击掌庆祝,Vivian 和 Clara 也走上前,眼中满是惊喜与欣慰”)。
8. 主题升华 通过母亲对话或心理感悟点题(如 “Vivian 看着开心的孩子们,对 Clara 说:‘谢谢你的包容,让我看到 Ben 也能如此专注合作’,Clara 笑着回应:‘每个孩子都有闪光点,耐心等待就好’”)。
9. 结局呈现 描写后续互动与情感联结(如 “之后,孩子们又一起玩了很久,Ben 全程没有再冲动闹事,还主动分享了更多玩具,Vivian 和 Clara 交换了联系方式,约定以后常带孩子一起出来”)。
10. 富有余韵的结尾 用场景定格收尾(如 “夕阳西下,Vivian 牵着 Ben 的手回家,Ben 一路上还在念叨着和 Lila 建沙堡的事,Vivian 心中满是温暖,她知道,这趟公园之行,不仅改变了 Ben,也改变了自己”)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言
1. 人物心理描写
坚定自信(Ben 提想法时):Ben’s eyes sparkled with determination as he spoke—he was eager to fix the collapsed castle and prove he could do it right.(Ben 说话时眼神闪烁着坚定的光芒,他渴望修好倒塌的城堡,证明自己能做好。)
欣慰感动(Vivian 看到孩子合作时):A warm glow of relief and joy filled Vivian’s heart as she watched Ben and Lila work together—she hadn’t seen her son so focused and friendly before.(看着 Ben 和 Lila 一起合作,Vivian 心中涌起一阵释然与喜悦的暖流,她从未见过儿子如此专注友善。)
包容理解(Clara 看待孩子时):Clara watched the kids with a tolerant smile, knowing that mistakes and messes were just part of growing up—patience was the best gift for them.(Clara 带着包容的微笑看着孩子们,知道犯错和混乱都是成长的一部分,耐心是给他们最好的礼物。)
2. 情感描写
羞愧紧张(Vivian 面对 Ben 扔沙子):Shame burned Vivian’s cheeks as Ben threw sand at Lila—she braced herself for the woman’s blame, fearing the usual judgmental stares.(Ben 向 Lila 扔沙子时,羞愧灼烧着 Vivian 的脸颊,她准备好接受那位女士的责备,害怕熟悉的审视目光。)
惊喜温暖(Vivian 被包容后):Surprise and warmth washed over Vivian when Clara smiled gently—she hadn’t expected such understanding, which made her feel less alone in her struggles.(当 Clara 温柔微笑时,惊喜与温暖席卷了 Vivian,她没想到会得到这样的理解,这让她在困境中不再感到孤单。)
兴奋自豪(孩子们建成新沙堡时):Excitement bubbled up in Ben and Lila as they looked at their new castle—pride shone in their eyes, knowing they’d built something amazing together.(看着新建成的城堡,Ben 和 Lila 心中涌起兴奋,他们眼中闪烁着自豪的光芒,知道自己一起创造了了不起的东西。)
3. 动作描写
冲动行为(Ben 扔沙子):Ben suddenly grabbed a handful of sand, swung his arm back, and threw it straight at Lila, his small face showing no hesitation.(Ben 突然抓起一把沙子,手臂向后一挥,径直扔向 Lila,小脸上毫无迟疑。)
合作重建(孩子们建沙堡):Ben carefully poured water into the sand, mixing it with his small hands, while Lila used a shovel to pile the wet sand onto the base. They passed tools to each other smoothly, working in perfect harmony.(Ben 小心翼翼地往沙子里加水,用小手搅拌均匀,Lila 则用铲子把湿沙子堆到底座上。他们默契地互相递工具,配合得十分融洽。)
欣慰互动(母亲们的反应):Vivian reached out and gently squeezed Clara’s hand, a grateful smile on her face. Clara patted her back in return, their eyes meeting in mutual understanding.(Vivian 伸出手轻轻握住 Clara 的手,脸上带着感激的微笑。Clara 回拍她的后背,两人对视一眼,彼此理解。)
4. 环境象征描写
沙坑→社交与成长的舞台:The sandbox wasn’t just a place for play—it was a small world where kids learned to share, cooperate, and fix mistakes, a stage for Ben’s first positive social experience.(沙坑不仅仅是玩耍的地方 —— 它是一个小世界,孩子们在这里学会分享、合作和弥补错误,是 Ben 第一次积极社交体验的舞台。)
倒塌的沙堡→挫折与契机:The collapsed castle wasn’t just a failed creation—it was an opportunity for Ben to learn problem-solving and resilience, turning frustration into motivation.(倒塌的城堡不仅仅是失败的作品 —— 它是 Ben 学习解决问题和培养韧性的契机,将挫折转化为动力。)
新沙堡→合作与成长的成果:The new tall castle wasn’t just a sand structure—it symbolized the bond between Ben and Lila, and the growth Ben had achieved through patience and teamwork.(那座新的高大城堡不仅仅是一座沙制建筑 —— 它象征着 Ben 和 Lila 之间的联结,以及 Ben 通过耐心和团队合作所取得的成长。)
【专项微训练】—— 为故事注入灵魂
训练一:环境描写 烘托心情
(选择贴合氛围的词语造句,强化场景与情绪的关联)
心情 可选词汇(中英对照) 你的造句
紧张 / 羞愧 烈日灼灼 (scorching sun); 沙粒飞溅 (sand flying); 目光聚焦 (eyes focusing on) Vivian 站在沙坑边,______,心跳加速,生怕 Clara 会严厉指责 Ben 的行为。
温暖 / 释然 微风拂面 (gentle breeze); 笑容柔和 (soft smile); 沙堡成型 (sandcastle taking shape) ______,Vivian 看着孩子们专注的身影,心中的焦虑渐渐消散,取而代之的是满满的温暖。
兴奋 / 自豪 夕阳斜照 (setting sun slanting); 城堡耸立 (castle standing tall); 欢呼雀跃 (cheering and jumping) ______,Ben 和 Lila 围着新沙堡欢呼,脸上洋溢着灿烂的笑容。
参考答案
Vivian 站在沙坑边,scorching sun beating down, sand flying in the air, and all eyes focusing on them(烈日灼灼,沙粒飞溅,所有目光都聚焦在他们身上),心跳加速,生怕 Clara 会严厉指责 Ben 的行为。
Gentle breeze brushing their cheeks, Clara’s soft smile lingering in her mind, and the sandcastle slowly taking shape(微风拂面,Clara 柔和的笑容萦绕在脑海,沙堡渐渐成型),Vivian 看着孩子们专注的身影,心中的焦虑渐渐消散,取而代之的是满满的温暖。
Setting sun slanting over the park, the new castle standing tall in the sandbox, and the two kids cheering and jumping(夕阳斜照公园,新城堡在沙坑中耸立,两个孩子欢呼雀跃),Ben 和 Lila 围着新沙堡欢呼,脸上洋溢着灿烂的笑容。
训练二:人物刻画 于细微处见真情
(将抽象描述与具体动作 / 神态连线,选择一句仿写,凸显人物性格)
Ben 坚定主动 A. He puffed out his chest, grabbed Lila’s hand, and said firmly: “We can build a better one! Use water to make sand sticky!”
Lila 友善包容 B. She wiped the sand off her face, smiled brightly, and held out her shovel: “Come on! Let’s try again together!”
Clara 温柔理解 C. She nodded gently, crossed her arms loosely, and said with a smile: “Let them figure it out—kids learn best by trying.”
连线答案:1-A;2-B;3-C
仿写示例(选择第 1 句):She straightened her back, took the team’s plan, and said confidently: “We can finish this task! Let’s divide the work and start now!”(她挺直后背,拿起团队的方案,自信地说:“我们能完成这项任务!大家分工,现在开始!”)
训练三:情感表达 找到 “高级替身”
(替换直白词汇,让情感表达更细腻生动)
直白表达 高级替代表达(中英对照)
“紧张”(Vivian) nerves twisting in one’s stomach(心里七上八下);heart pounding rapidly(心跳加速)
“温暖”(Vivian) a warm current flowing through one’s body(一股暖流流过全身);warmth suffusing one’s chest(暖意充斥胸膛)
“兴奋”(Ben) excitement surging through one’s veins(兴奋感涌上心头);eyes sparkling with excitement(眼睛因兴奋而发亮)
例句升级原句:Vivian was very nervous when Ben threw sand. She felt warm after Clara’s comfort, and Ben was very excited when building the new castle.
升级句:Nerves twisted in Vivian’s stomach when Ben threw sand. A warm current flowed through her body after Clara’s comfort. When building the new castle, excitement surged through Ben’s veins, and his eyes sparkled with excitement.(Ben 扔沙子时,Vivian 心里七上八下。Clara 安慰后,一股暖流流过她的全身。建新城堡时,Ben 兴奋感涌上心头,眼睛因兴奋而发亮。)
训练四:动作细节 让情感可视化
(为情境补充具体动作,体现人物内心,避免 “直白描述”)
情境 直白版 细节版(参考)
1. Ben 提想法时(体现 “坚定”) Ben 很坚定地提出自己的想法。 Ben clenched his small fists, raised his chin slightly, and looked at Lila with determination. He tugged her sleeve gently and said clearly: “I have a good idea—let’s mix sand with water. It will be stronger!”(Ben 攥紧小拳头,微微扬起下巴,坚定地看着 Lila。他轻轻拉了拉她的袖子,清晰地说:“我有个好主意 —— 我们把沙子和水混合,这样会更坚固!”)
2. Lila 回应时(体现 “友善”) Lila 同意了 Ben 的想法,很友善。 Lila’s face lit up with joy, and she nodded vigorously. She handed Ben her favorite shovel and said eagerly: “Great idea! I’ll hold the bucket for you when you get water!”(Lila 脸上露出喜悦的笑容,用力点头。她把自己最喜欢的铲子递给 Ben,急切地说:“好主意!你去接水的时候我来帮你扶着水桶!”)
3. Vivian 感谢 Clara 时(体现 “感激”) Vivian 很感激 Clara 的包容。 Vivian’s eyes glistened with gratitude as she looked at Clara. She reached out to hold Clara’s hand tightly, her voice trembling slightly: “Thank you so much for being so understanding. It means the world to me and Ben.”(Vivian 看着 Clara,眼中闪烁着感激的泪光。她伸出手紧紧握住 Clara 的手,声音微微颤抖:“非常感谢你的理解,这对我和 Ben 来说意义重大。”)
训练五:象征与隐喻 让主题更深刻
(将抽象概念与故事中的 “具体事物” 关联,深化主题,避免 “直白点题”)
混合水的沙子 → 不仅是 “建堡材料”,更象征着 cooperation and adaptation(合作与适应),Ben 学会调整方法、配合他人,才能建成更稳固的城堡。
新沙堡 → 不仅是 “玩耍成果”,更象征着 growth and connection(成长与联结),是 Ben 成长的见证,也是两个孩子、两个家庭友谊的起点。
Clara 的微笑 → 不仅是 “礼貌表情”,更象征着 tolerance and warmth(包容与温暖),这抹微笑化解了尴尬,为孩子的成长创造了安全包容的环境。
四、综合训练与范文引导
训练:补全段落(结合 “十句五定法” 框架与微写作技巧,完善续写内容)
Paragraph 1
They were about to help when Ben said decidedly, “I’ve got a good idea.”He puffed out his chest, grabbed Lila’s hand, and pointed at the bucket: “We can mix sand with water! Mom said wet sand is stronger.” Lila’s eyes lit up, and she nodded eagerly. Ben ran to the tap to get water, while Lila sorted out the sand with a shovel. At first, Ben poured too much water, making the sand muddy. He frowned in frustration, but Lila patted his shoulder: “Let’s add more sand!” They adjusted back and forth, and soon the wet sand became perfect for building. Vivian watched them with a smile, impressed by Ben’s initiative and Lila’s patience. Clara stood beside her, whispering: “See Kids always find their way if we let them.”
Paragraph 2
Half an hour later, a new higher castle stood before the two mothers.It had a wide, solid base, tall towers decorated with small toy flags, and even a little moat around it. Ben and Lila jumped up and down, cheering loudly. “We did it!” Ben shouted, hugging Lila excitedly. Vivian knelt down, gently touching the castle, and said proudly: “You two are amazing!” Clara smiled, taking photos of the castle and the kids. “This is a wonderful memory for our new neighborhood,” she said. Vivian looked at Clara, gratitude filling her heart: “Thank you for your kindness. You helped Ben believe in himself.” As the sun set, they exchanged contact information, promising to meet again soon. Ben held Lila’s hand tightly, already looking forward to their next adventure.
范文亮点解析
情节连贯:严格遵循 “提出想法→尝试实践→调整改进→建成城堡→情感联结” 的逻辑,呼应原文 “冲动冲突→包容和解→合作成长” 的核心线索,情节流畅自然,无断层感。
细节鲜活:通过 “攥拳头、扬下巴”“递铲子、拍肩膀” 等动作细节,生动刻画人物性格;用 “湿沙子调拌过程”“城堡装饰细节” 等场景细节,增强画面真实感;人物情绪从 “沮丧→专注→兴奋→感激” 层层递进,情感真挚动人。
主题深刻:通过母亲对话(“孩子会找到自己的方法”“你帮 Ben 相信自己”)和孩子的成长表现,自然升华 “耐心包容”“合作成长”“友善联结” 的主题,避免直白说教,引发读者共鸣。