中考英语二轮 名校模考作文指导+学生优秀作文展示+名师点评

名校模考作文指导+学生优秀作文展示+名师点评
名校模考好题
海淀区 2024-2025学年九年级第二学期期末练习
考试时间:2025.5
从下面两个题目中任选一题，根据所给提示，完成一篇不少于50词的英语文段写作。文中已给出内容不计入总词数。所给提示词语仅供选用。请不要写出真实的校名和姓名。
题目①
假设你是李华，你校英语社团将开展“旧物新生，创意无限(Old Items, New Life)”主题活动,为此在校内征集活动创意。请你用英语给社团公众号留言，提供一个活动方案并说明理由。
内容提示:· What do you suggest for the activity 3.定人称：以第一人称为主；
● Why do you suggest doing that 4.定时态：一般现在时；
I'm Li Hua from Class 1, Grade 9.
I hope my idea can be considered. Thanks!
谋篇布局
高分作文
1 旧物利用创意活动
I’ m Li Hua from Class I, Grade 9. Our English Club will hold an event called“Old Items, New Life”. I have some ideas for this activity.
First, our headmaster can deliver a speech on recycling old items,which will help students understand the importance of recycling things.Then, I suggest holding a“Creative Recycling” workshop where students can learn to make new things from old ones.① For example,students can make pencil cases from old clothes.
There are good reasons for these ideas. Recycling old items not only reduces waste but also protects the environment. Moreover, the event can inspire students to live a greener life. During the activities,students can develop their creativity and problem-solving skills.
I believe this event will be enjoyable and meaningful, allowing students to learn the value of recycling while enjoying themselves.
名师点评 本文紧扣“Old Items，New Life”主题，结构清晰、逻辑连贯、层次分明。内容上，选材贴近学生生活，涵盖旧物新生、环保意识培养等现实问题，体现出较强的社会责任感和创新思维。语言表达尤为出色,灵活运用了 deliver a speech, inspire sb. to do sth. , learn the value of 等出彩短语,以及 where引导定语从句、 not only... but also...等高级句型,值得学习。
靓词积累 佳句仿写
1. hold an event 举办一场活动 2. give/ make/ deliver a speech 发表演讲 3. suggest doing sth. 建议做某事 4. learn to do sth. 学习做某事 5. for example= for instance 例如 6. inspire sb. to do sth.激励某人做某事 7. develop one’ s creativity 培养某人的创造力 8. learn the value of... 了解……的价值 9.我们计划组织一场环保展览，学生们可以在那里分享绿色创意。(用 where 引导定语从句) 10.使用可重复使用的水瓶不仅能减少塑料垃圾，还能为他人树立好榜样。(用 not only…… but also...表并列) 11.我们学校设立了共享自行车角，吸引了许多学生选择绿色出行。(用现在分词作结果状语)
2“旧物新生”活动方案
I'm Li Hua from Class I, Grade 9. I'm excited to hear about the“Old Items, New Life” activity which will be held by our English Club,and I'd like to share my ideas.①
Firstly, a small group can collect various old items from students' homes before the activity. Secondly, at the start of the activity, we can invite a teacher to give a speech on how reusing old items benefits both our environment and our daily lives. Next, it's important to teach students some basic design skills so that they can turn ideas into practice. Finally, holding a competition and showing great works can make the activity more interesting and meaningful.
These suggestions aim to make the activity more successful. The lecture can help students understand the importance of recycling old items,and the competition will bring fun and a sense of achievement.
名师点评 文章结构清晰，要点齐全。开头点明活动主题并引出话题，中间分步骤提出活动方案、阐述理由，结尾表达期待，层次清晰，条理分明。内容方面，紧扣“Old Items， New Life”主题，从收集旧物、开展讲座、教授技能到举办竞赛展览，环节设置丰富且具有创意，充分体现对活动的深入思考。语言上,用词准确规范,句式多样,如运用 at the start of, give a speech, it's important todo sth., aim to do sth.以及宾语从句、目的状语从句等,增强了文章的可读性。
靓词积累 佳句仿写
1. collect sth. from sp.从某地收集某物 2. at the start of... 在······的开始 3. invite sb. to do sth. 邀请某人做某事 4. teach sb. sth. 教某人某事(teach sb.to do sth. 教某人做某事) 5. turn ideas into practice 将想法转换为实践 6. aim to do sth. 旨在做某事 7. bring a sense of achievement 带来成就感 8.听说环保周活动，我感到很兴奋，我很乐意提供一些建议。( 用 I'm excited to hear about...引出话题) 9.收集用过的纸张和瓶子很重要，因为我们可以再次利用它们。(用 It's important to do sth.强调重要性) 10.我们可以做一个关于绿色生活的讲座，以便学生了解如何在日常生活中保护环境。(用so that 引导目的状语从句)
题目②
某英文网站正在开展以“重要的人，成长的光”为主题的征文活动。假设你是李华，请用英文写一篇短文投稿，介绍一位对你产生积极影响的人，并讲述在日常生活中他/她是如何影响你的。
提示词语: hard-working, encourage, set an example, realize, better
内容提示:● Who inspires you most Please describe him/ her.
● How does he/ she influence you
I'm glad to say something about the person who inspires me most.
五定审题
1.定主题：介绍对自己有积极影响的人；
2.定文体：说明文；
3.定人称：以第三人称为主；
4.定时态：以一般现在时为主；
5.定要点：①最激励自己的人是谁，描述他/她；②介绍他/她是如何影响自己的。
热考关键词：榜样人物
紧扣时代主题“榜样”，引导学生反思个人成长，感悟榜样的力量。
黑谋篇布局
高分作文
1 祖母————我心中的榜样
I'm glad to say something about the person who inspires me most. I look up to my grandmother more than anyone else.① She has short gray hair and wears a pair of round glasses. Her eyes always smile warmly.
She inspires me with her strength and kindness. No matter what difficulties she faces, she always finds joy in simple things and stays positive. Her strong will has helped me face challenges bravely. In addition, she is always ready to help others, even when she is busy. Her deep love for others sets a great example for me. I' ve learned to offer help to those in need.
My grandmother is like a light in my life, guiding me through hard times. I hope to carry forward these qualities in my own life one day.
名师点评 全文围绕主题“重要的人，成长的光”展开，采用“总——分——总”结构，段落过渡自然，逻辑连贯，体现出良好的篇章意识。内容真实感人，作者通过描述祖母的外貌、性格和具体品质，表达了对祖母的尊敬，体现了积极的价值观。语言表达准确规范，句式多样，灵活运用了 look up to, stay positive, be ready to do sth.等高级短语,以及让步状语从句和比喻的修辞手法等,增强了语言的表现力与感染力。
积累运用
靓词积累 佳句仿写
1. quality / kw l ti/ 品质 2. look up to 仰慕;尊敬 3. stay positive 保持乐观 4. face challenges bravely 勇敢面对挑战 5. be ready to do sth. 准备好做某事 6. set an example for sb.为某人树立榜样 7. learn to do sth.学会做某事 8. offer sth. to sb. 将某物提供给某人 9. carry forward 发扬 10.我的叔叔是对我影响最大的人，因为他教会我勇敢面对挑战。(用who引导定语从句) 11.无论我遇到什么困难，我叔叔总是微笑着鼓励我继续前进。(用 no matter what...引导让步状语从句) 12.我的父亲就像一棵强壮的树，保护我健康、安全地成长。 (用比喻修辞手法)
英语老师，学习路上的明灯 ·
I'm glad to say something about the person who inspires me most.Ms. Li, my English teacher, has played an important role in my life. She is a charming woman with long black hair. Her eyes are full of warmth and hope, just like the sunshine in spring.①
Ms. Li has a great influence on my study. She is good at explaining grammar rules with fun examples, which makes me enjoy English study more. Also, when I have problems, she never gets tired of teaching me different ways to solve them. Her patience encourages me to step out of my comfort zone and take on challenges.
I'm truly grateful to Ms. Li. It is her help that makes me become confident. In the future, I will face difficulties bravely.
名师点评 本文结构清晰，主题明确，介绍了一位对作者影响深远的英语老师。开头通过外貌描写，如“Her eyes are full of warmth and hope, just like...”,将李老师的形象生动地展现给读者。正文详细描述了李老师在教学中的独特方法，结尾表达了对李老师的感激之情，突显了她在作者成长过程中不可替代的作用。语言运用自然,句型多样,如使用 play an important role in, get tired of doing sth.以及定语从句、时间状语从句等,让文章更加出彩。
积累运用
靓词积累 佳句仿写
1. charming /'t ɑ m / 迷人的;有魅力的 2. play an important role in... 在······中扮演重要角色 3. be full of 充满 4. have a great influence on...对······有重大影响 5. be good at doing sth. 擅长做某事 6. get tired of doing sth. 厌倦做某事 7. step out of one’ s comfort zone 走出某人的舒适区 8. take on challenges 接受挑战 9. be grateful to sb. 感激某人 10.老师的话语如同春雨，悄悄地给我勇气，帮助我每天成长。(用比喻修辞手法) 11.王老师总是因我的小进步表扬我，这使我每天更加努力。(用which引导非限制性定语从句) 12.正是我们美术老师的指导，我才能创作出这么美的一幅画。(用强调句句型)
11 !!.
3 好朋友伴我成长
I'm glad to say something about the person who inspires me most.The person who inspires me most is my best friend, Lily. With big eyes and long straight hair, she is not only pretty but also hard-working and kind-hearted.①
Lily has a positive effect on me. Whenever I'm in low spirits, she shares funny stories or takes a walk with me to cheer me up. Also, her self-discipline sets a good example for me. Seeing her stick to reading and exercising inspires me to form good habits too. What's more, she shows kindness in action. She volunteers at shelters, which encourages me to help others.
I'm truly thankful to have Lily as my friend. She supports me and helps me grow into a better person.
9
亮点赏析
①用 not only…… but also……结构描述了人物的外在美，并着重强调了其内在的优秀品质，使人物形象更加丰满立体；
Whenever 引导时间状语从句，表明在自己情绪低落时，朋友给自己带来的帮助，容易引起共鸣；
动名词短语作主语，描述了朋友的坚持给自己带来的积极影响，逻辑清晰。
名师点评 文章结构清晰，层次分明。开头通过外貌的描述引入主要人物————好朋友 Lily，并在后文详细阐述了 Lily如何在生活中激励和影响作者。文章采用了三个方面的例子，分别是 Lily的乐观精神、自律行为和善良品质，这三方面的论述不仅逻辑性强，而且具体生动，给人留下深刻的印象。运用过渡词如 Also， What's more 使句间衔接自然流畅。此外，作者善用高级短语和句式,如 not only... but also... , cheer sb. up 以及定语从句等,不失为一篇佳作。
积累运用
靓词积累 佳句仿写
1. shelter /' elt (r)/ 收容所 2. have a positive effect on...对……有积极影响 3. be in low spirits 情绪低落 4. set a good example 树立一个好榜样 5. stick to 坚持 6. inspire sb. to do sth. 激励某人做某事 7. form good habits 养成好习惯 8. encourage sb. to do sth.鼓励某人做某事 9. Lucy不仅总是认真倾听，还总是给出有用的建议。(用not only... but also...并列结构) 10.每当我想放弃时，老师的话总是提醒我再试一次。(用Whenever 引导时间状语从句) 11.看到我爸爸每天坚持写日记，这鼓励我也养成同样的习惯。(用动名词短语作主语)