第四讲 优化3个关键环节(3)—细节打磨润色
打磨续写佳作，关键在于让文字如精密齿轮般咬合——段内逻辑是运转的轴心，细节描摹是齿牙的纹理，适合的结尾则是让整体闭环的锁扣。三者环环相扣，方能让写作在衔接中见流畅，在细节中显深意，在收束中见圆满。
一、段内逻辑衔接，让文字“无缝流动”
“有效地使用了语句间的衔接手段，全文结构清晰，前后呼应，意义连贯”是读后续写题型赋分细则最高档的标准之一。这里不仅提及了语句间的衔接，也对文章的整体连贯性做出了要求。在前面的写作步骤中我们已经做到了大方向的连贯，在此环节我们主要润色一下语句段落之间的流畅衔接以及句意之间的逻辑连贯性，确保语言的顺畅感，短文结构的紧凑感。一段逻辑连贯的文字，是多种衔接手段协同作用的结果。常用的衔接手段见下表：
衔接手段 作用 目的
形式衔接 形式衔接搭建起表层框架，人称代词形成清晰的指代链，常见连词则明确句间因果、顺承等关系，让叙述主体与逻辑走向一目了然。 这些手段最终都指向语义的连贯性， 形式为语义服务，语义借句式呈现，替代、省略与近义词变换则让语义在精简中深化，共同构建起一段逻辑严密、表达自然的文字。
语义衔接 语义衔接是核心。全段围绕同一话题层层推进，替代与省略在避免重复的同时，依赖语境补全语义，近义词变换则从不同角度丰富话题内涵，共同强化内容的关联性。
句式衔接 句式衔接调节表达节奏，陈述句铺陈叙事背景，直接引语还原对话场景，长短句交替配合语义推进的张弛，让行文在流畅中兼具变化。
[佳作赏评悟道]
2024年新高考Ⅰ卷续写第一段
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news. I explained to him the urgency of catching the bus, emphasizing that otherwise I would be forced to stay overnight and buy a new ticket the next morning.Ultimately, I suggested, “I will return to Vienna in 4 days.If it's OK with you, I can pay you then, with an additional 10 euros as a gesture of my gratitude.” Following an uncomfortable pause, he simply nodded, saying, “I agree to this arrangement and trust you.” I thanked him with the biggest smile you can imagine, and we exchanged contact information before I got on the bus.
这段文字围绕“我向Gunter解释赶车紧迫性、提议延迟付款并达成共识”展开，段内逻辑通过多重衔接手法紧密串联，具体分析如下：
1．形式衔接
(1)代词呼应：“him”贯穿始终，均指代前文的“Gunter”，形成清晰的人称指代链，避免名词重复，明确动作对象；“I”作为叙述主体，与“him”形成互动关系，让人物行为逻辑始终聚焦双方。
(2)时间副词衔接：“otherwise”作为条件连接词，清晰呈现“赶不上车”与“滞留、重购票”之间的假设关系，强化了“赶车紧迫性”的逻辑合理性，使解释更具说服力。“Ultimately”承接前文“解释紧迫性”的铺垫，标志着叙事从“说明背景”转向“提出解决方案”，体现逻辑上的递进。
2．语义衔接
(1)话题延续：全段紧扣“因赶车需延迟支付车费”这一核心话题，从“告知坏消息”到“解释赶车紧迫性(否则滞留、重购票)”，再到“提议4天后付款并附加感谢金”，最终“达成共识、交换联系方式”，话题层层推进，构成“困境—解释—方案—结果”的完整语义链条。
(2)情境关联：“urgency of catching the bus”与“stay overnight and buy a new ticket”形成反向后果关联，强化“赶车”的必要性；“pay you then” “additional 10 euros”则直接回应“车费支付”的核心矛盾，使语义前后呼应。
(3)语境中的替代与省略：“this arrangement”替代前文提议的“4天后付款并附加10欧元感谢金”，用概括性短语替代具体方案，避免内容重复，同时明确“达成共识”的具体指向。“If it's OK with you”后省略了“to pay you then ...”，使提议更简洁委婉，符合对话语境；“saying, ‘I agree ...’”中省略主语“he”，因前文“he simply nodded”已明确动作主体，省略后不影响理解，使行文更紧凑。
(4)近义词汇变换表达
“bad news”与“the urgency of catching the bus”虽非严格的近义词，但均指“因时间紧张导致的麻烦”，前者概括负面消息，后者具体说明麻烦的核心(赶车紧迫性)，通过不同角度的表达，既避免了重复，又深化了“困境”的具体内涵。
3．句式衔接
(1)叙事与对话结合：以陈述句(如“I ran back ...”“I explained ...”)主导叙事进程，客观呈现动作和情境；穿插直接引语(如“I will return ...”“I agree ...”)模拟对话场景，句式在陈述的连贯性中加入对话的互动性，既保持叙事流畅，又增强场景的真实感。
(2)短句与长句配合：短句(如“he simply nodded” “I agree to ...”)简洁明快，用于描述动作和结果；长句(如“I explained to him ...buy a new ticket the next morning.”)则详细铺陈背景和原因，长短句交替使节奏张弛有度。
综上，多种衔接手法的协同作用，使这段文字在叙事中逻辑清晰、节奏协调，实现了从“困境呈现”到“问题解决”的自然流转。
二、细节描摹，让读者“身临其境”
故事性的读后续写需要通过对细节的描摹，才能让人物更形象、内容更丰富、故事更生动。如何写出意蕴丰满的文章，彰显自身扎实的语言功底，获得阅卷老师的青睐，本部分主要从6个方面讲解写作技法。
技法(一) 细化动作描写
动作描写可以展现人物的内心活动，表现人物的性格特征，塑造人物形象并推动情节发展。精准的动作描写能够更加细致地反映人物的心理情绪变化，更加生动地刻画人物的内心世界。描写动作时，要注意使用能体现动作的具体词汇，而不是笼统词汇。如say, walk, look等笼统词，其对应的具体词汇可用exclaim, tiptoe, stare at等。使用具体词汇描写动作，能使动作更生动形象、描写更有吸引力。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room.
托比在后院跑来跑去消耗精力，给孩子们留出了足够的空间。
②(2025·全国Ⅱ卷)I forced a smile, unsure how to respond further.
我强挤出一丝微笑，不知道接下来该如何回应。
③(2025· 浙江1月高考) He rushed out of Mrs. Hill's house and crossed the street quickly. Grabbing a branch from a cut down tree, he jumped in through the window.
他冲出希尔太太的房子，飞快地穿过街道。他从一棵被砍倒的树上抓起一根树枝，从窗户跳了进去。
④(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)With deep appreciation, I took down his number, took over his cash and rushed towards the bus.带着深深的感激，我记下了他的电话号码，接过他的现金，冲向公交车。
⑤(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)After he pulled over and got off his car, I stepped towards him, shook hands with him and handed him the fare I owed him.他把车停在路边下车后，我走向他，同他握手，并把我欠他的车费递给他。
⑥(2023·浙江1月高考)Hands waving, I dashed towards the bird, yelling to make myself noticed. She hovered cheerfully and lowered to stand on my shoulder.
我挥舞着双手，冲向那只鸟，大叫着让它注意到我。它高兴地盘旋着，然后飞下来站在我的肩上。
技法(二) 融合心理描写
心理描写是对人物在特定环境下的心理状态、精神面貌和内心活动的描写。通过对人物心理的描写，读者能直观地了解人物的心灵，体会其行为动作背后的含义。人物的心理活动可以通过人物的所思、所想和内心独白直接呈现，也可以通过景物烘托、人物动作和神态等间接呈现。
①(2025·全国Ⅱ卷)I really did not know whether I should continue correcting him or simply drop the matter. I feared that my classmates might grow tired of my efforts or even lose patience with me. After all, I did care about how others would think of me.
我真的不知道该继续纠正他，还是就此作罢。我担心同学们会对我的坚持感到厌烦，甚至对我失去耐心。毕竟，我确实很在意别人对我的看法。
②(2025· 浙江1月高考) Mr. and Mrs. Green listened attentively, with a mixture of surprise and gratitude on their faces.
格林夫妇聚精会神地听着，脸上既惊讶又感激。
③(2025· 浙江1月高考)The man froze for a second, but when he saw the skinny boy he breathed a sigh of relief. 那人愣了一下，但当他看到那个瘦弱的男孩时，他松了一口气。
④(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Instantly, a wave of shock and warmth surged in my heart.
瞬间，一股惊悸和暖意涌上我的心头。
⑤(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)I was frozen at the spot, feeling incredible but overjoyed.
我愣在那里，感觉难以置信，但又喜出望外。
⑥(2023· 新高考Ⅰ卷)Leaving his office that day, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and determination.那天离开他的办公室时，我重新感到一种使命感和决心。
⑦(2023· 浙江1月高考)Memories with the hummingbird occurred to me when I walked to the blackberry lined path.Was she alright Would she remember me
当我走到黑莓小径时，我突然想起了与蜂鸟的往事。它还好吗？它会记得我吗？
技法(三) 使用肖像描写
肖像描写是正面刻画人物的一种写作方法，主要从人物的体貌特征(包括人物的容貌、衣着、神情、体型、姿态等)进行描写，以揭示人物的思想性格，表达作者的爱憎，加深读者对人物的印象。
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)When my teacher walked into the classroom, a shining bright smile was on his face.(神态)
当我的老师走进教室时，他脸上露出了灿烂的笑容。
②(2023·浙江1月高考)It seemed as if the bird was trying to capture my attention, its beady eyes settling on mine.(神态)
那只鸟似乎在试图吸引我的注意力，它那炯炯有神的眼睛盯着我的眼睛。
③(2022·浙江1月高考)The moment I arrived at his ward, his pale face and tired look told everything.(肖像)
我一到他的病房，他苍白的脸和疲惫的表情就说明了一切。
④(2022· 浙江1月高考)When asked about the secret of our successful project, I grinned, exposing a set of amazingly white teeth and answered without hesitation, “Cooperation！”(肖像)
当被问及我们项目成功的秘诀时，我咧嘴一笑，露出一副洁白无瑕的牙齿，毫不犹豫地回答：“合作！”
技法(四) 营造环境描写
环境描写可以烘托氛围，折射出人物的心理状态，与人物的思想感情密不可分。“一切景语皆情语”，读者可以根据环境描写推测出人物的心理。环境描写对情节的发展变化起铺垫和暗示作用。恰到好处的环境描写会使读者身临其境，使文章更加引人入胜。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)It started to rain and everyone went indoors.
天开始下雨，所有人都进了屋。
②(2025· 浙江1月高考)Mrs. Hill's front window faced Mr. and Mrs. Green's house across the street. The couple had both gone to work, so it was strange that someone was over there.
希尔太太的前窗对着街对面格林夫妇的房子。这对夫妇都去上班了，所以那边有人很奇怪。
③(2024·浙江1月高考)Overwhelmed with happiness and a profound sense of achievement, she raised her hand, only to be met with the distant sight of the teaching building, housing the library, gym, and cafeteria — a previously intimidating array due to her directional struggles.
她满心欢喜，成就感油然而生。她举起了手，却看到了远处的教学楼，里面有图书馆、健身房和自助餐厅——一个以前令她望而生畏的种种设施，因为她的方向感差。
④(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Golden sunlight scattered through the office window, spreading the brightness and warmth.金色的阳光透过窗户洒进办公室，散发出明亮和温暖。
技法(五) 添加对话描写
对话描写可以鲜明地展示人物的性格，生动地表现人物的思想感情，深刻地反映人物的内心世界，使读者“闻其声，如见其人”。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)His reply came as a surprise — a shock, actually: “Not a chance.”
他的回复很意外——说实话，甚至有点令人震惊：“不可能。”
②(2025· 浙江1月高考)“Stop right there! You must leave right now！” he called out, holding the branch with both hands.
“站住！你必须马上离开！”他双手紧握着树枝喊道。
③(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)To express my sincere gratitude, I added a little amount of cash and said, “If it had not been for your kind assistance and trust, I couldn't have arrived at my destination on time.”
为了表示衷心的感谢，我多加了一点现金，并说：“如果没有你好心的帮助和信任，我不可能准时到达目的地。”
④(2024·浙江1月高考)Coach Pitt was also surprised and asked her, “What did you do on your way and how did you feel in the last 100 metres？” Eva calmed down and said, “I cut one mile into some laps, focusing on the shadow of oak trees. When I finished one lap, I would feel proud of myself and I would not feel tired, but happy.”
皮特教练也很惊讶，问她：“你在路上做了什么，最后100米感觉如何？”伊娃平静下来，说：“我把一英里的路分成几圈，重点放在橡树的树影上。当我跑完一圈的时候，我会为自己感到骄傲，我不会觉得累，而是很开心。”
⑤(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Giggling instantly with a broad smile spreading on his face, “Congratulations! I knew you had it in you，”he said warmly. “Thank you.” I replied, with a mixture of gratitude and excitement.
他立刻咯咯笑起来，脸上洋溢着灿烂的笑容，“祝贺你！我就知道你有这种能力，”他热情地说。“谢谢你。”我带着感激和兴奋的心情回答。
技法(六) 引入修辞手法
为了做到与前文情境融洽度高，避免语言枯燥，可以适当运用修辞手法进一步造势，使文字鲜活，形象逼真，增强语言的表现力。常用的修辞手法有比喻(明喻和暗喻)、拟人、夸张、排比等。修辞手法常与动作、心理、对话等描写连用。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)My brother chose to bring his dog Toby, a 50 pound ball of fire. (比喻，夸张)
我的弟弟选择带来他的狗托比，那是一只50磅重、精力旺盛得像一团火的狗。
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Since then, my teacher's encouraging words, just like a lighthouse in the mist, would always be lighting in the sky of my life.(比喻)
从那时起，我老师的鼓舞人心的话语，就像雾中的灯塔，永远照亮着我生命的天空。
③My parents frowned as they knew they had a sea of troubles.(夸张)我的父母眉头紧锁，因为他们知道他们要面对的问题数不胜数。
④(2023·浙江1月高考)I was very happy and could hear the bird singing above my head.(拟人)我很开心，能听到这只鸟在我头顶上唱歌。
⑤On our way, I held onto her little hand, and she beamed a smile that was brighter than the sun.(夸张)在路上，我抓住她的小手，她露出了比太阳还要灿烂的笑容。
⑥(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)But, like Revere's horse, I kept going. I worked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my older sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them.(排比)
但是，就像里维尔的马一样，我继续前行。我努力写作。我检查拼写。我请姐姐纠正我的语法。我从图书馆里借了六本关于保罗·里维尔的书。我甚至读了其中的一些。
三、意蕴结尾，让收束“回味悠长”
一篇好文章，除了有吸引眼球的开头，引人入胜的情节，还应该有耐人寻味的巧妙结尾。作为篇章的结尾有两个作用：一是圆合文章，二是深化主题。要想写好续写的结尾，让其具有“画龙点睛”的作用，可以采用下面六种结尾方式：
方式(一) 感悟式结尾
感悟式结尾是指通过总结个人体会、升华主题或引发读者思考的方式，赋予内容更深层意义的结尾形式。
①(2025· 浙江1月高考)Kevin learned an important lesson that day: always verify the facts before taking action, but never hesitate to help those in need.
凯文那天学到了重要的一课：在采取行动之前，一定要核实事实，但要毫不犹豫地帮助那些有需要的人。
②(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)I felt blessed to have such a warm hearted friend like Gunter who has a heart of gold.能拥有冈特这样怀有赤子之心的挚友，我何其有幸。
③(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)What I learned from the writing contest was that when faced with challenges，I should be courageous and try to make a difference!
我从这次写作比赛中学到的是：当面对挑战时，我应该勇敢，努力做出改变！
方式(二) 哲理式结尾
哲理式结尾是指通过提炼核心思想、升华主题或揭示深层人生智慧，使结尾具有启发性、思辨性或普遍意义的结尾方式。
①(2025· 全国Ⅱ卷)We laughed, but I knew: a name is a story waiting to be told and shared.我们笑了，但我知道：名字是一个等待被讲述和分享的故事。
②(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)A small act of kindness could make a great difference to others.
一个小小的善举可能会对别人产生很大的影响。
③(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
世上无难事，只怕有心人。
方式(三) 自然式结尾
自然式结尾是指按照故事情节的发展顺序，自然而然地收束全文的结尾方式。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)We laughed and reminisced, and for the first time in months, I felt like we were truly brothers again.
我们笑着、回忆着，几个月来，我第一次觉得我们真的又像兄弟一样了。
②(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)Then we wished each other all the best and I gave him a grateful hug.
然后我们互相祝福一切都好，我感激地拥抱了他。
③(2024·浙江1月高考)Her teachers were all amazed about her changes and her classmates also showed respect to her. From then on, Eva had more confidence to do anything.
她的老师都对她的变化感到惊讶，她的同学也对她表示尊重。从那时起，伊娃更有信心去做任何事情。
方式(四) 对话式结尾
对话式结尾是指通过人物对话来结束全文。对话可以是双方的，也可以是单方的。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)With moist eyes, he said affectionately, “The bond between us brothers is more precious than anything else and deserves to be cherished well.”
他眼睛湿润了，深情地说：“我们兄弟间的情谊比什么都重要，值得好好珍惜。”
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Then he pointed that my passion, devotion and persistence contributed to my success. “Just like the horse you wrote, he got tired and had doubts, but he kept going.”
然后他指出，是我的热情、奉献和坚持促成了我的成功。“就像你写的那匹马，虽然它疲劳、有疑惑，但它继续前进。”
③(2023·浙江1月高考)As I moved on and got ready to leave, my friend said to me, “Cherish such a magical memory, and this has to be very rare”．
当我准备离开时，我的朋友对我说：“珍惜这段神奇的回忆，这是非常罕见的。”
方式(五) 呼应式结尾
呼应式结尾是指通过重复、总结或回应前文开头或前文某一部分内容，形成前后呼应的结尾方式。
①(2025·全国Ⅱ卷)
前文：Instead of correcting others when they were struggling to pronounce my name, I just smiled and nodded approvingly.This approach spared me the discomfort of having to over explain.
结尾：Now, whenever someone mispronounces “Qiuyu”， I no longer hesitate; instead, I smile and say, “Let me tell you the story behind it.”
现在，每当有人拼错“秋雨”时，我不再犹豫；相反，我微笑着说：“让我告诉你它背后的故事。”
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)
前文：When I was in middle school，my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest.
结尾：I owe my success to my social studies teacher who is a beacon on the road to writing.
我把我的成功归功于我的社会学老师，他是我写作道路上的灯塔。
③(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)
前文：His usual big toothy smile was absent today.
结尾：Crossing the finish line, his usual big smile was there as that sunny day.
冲过终点线时，他像往常一样笑得灿烂，如同明媚的阳光。
方式(六) 景情式结尾
景情式结尾通过寓情于景、以景结情、借景抒情等方法描写景物，寄托或抒发作者的某种情感。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)As we chatted over the biscuits, laughter slowly filled the room, bridging the gap between us.
当我们边吃饼干边聊天时，笑声慢慢充满了房间，弥合了我们之间的隔阂。
②(2023·浙江1月高考)Moments later, she let out a squeaking call, spread her wings, and flew into the sky. This beautiful picture would stay in my memory forever.
过了一会儿，它发出一声尖叫，展开翅膀，飞上了天空。这幅美丽的画面将会永远留在我的记忆中。
③(2023·浙江1月高考)Despite the chill autumn wind, my heart was filled with the warmth of love and pleasure.
尽管秋风凛冽，但我心中却充满了爱和喜悦的温暖。
Ⅰ.根据要求完成语段
1．He picked up the old book, blowing off the dust. ____________________________，
____________________________________ — the same ones his dad had read to him as a kid.(形式衔接与语义衔接)
他拿起那本旧书，吹掉上面的灰尘。书页已经泛黄，但里面的字依然清晰——就像小时候爸爸读给他听的那些字一样。
2．She __________________ and brushed the crinkled edge with her thumb. The room was quiet, and for a second, she_____________________________ that small classroom, ______________________________________________.(体现句式衔接与细化动作＋心理描写)
她持着那封信，拇指摩挲着皱巴巴的边缘。房间里静悄悄的，有那么一瞬间，她仿佛又回到了那个小小的教室，等着老师喊她的名字。
3．David sat under the tree, ___________________________________. His hair was messy, and a red jacket lay beside him — you could tell ________________________________________ all afternoon.(外貌描写＋环境描写)
大卫坐在树下，鞋上沾满了泥。头发乱糟糟的，一件红夹克放在旁边——一看就知道，他一下午都在公园里跑来跑去。
4．We finished the game, laughing loudly. The sky was dark, and I suddenly thought: happy times don't need to be big. Sometimes they're just small，______________________.(感悟式结尾)
我们结束了游戏，大声笑着。天已经黑了，我忽然觉得：开心的时刻不一定非得轰轰烈烈。有时候，它们就是和喜欢的人在一起的那些小小的、暖暖的瞬间。
5．The bus drove away, and I stood there, watching. The street lights came on, glowing softly, and I could still hear _______________________________________________.(景情式结尾)
公交车开走了，我站在原地望着。街灯亮了起来，发出柔和的光，和我一起下车的那些孩子的笑声，好像还在耳边回荡。
Ⅱ.读后续写
(2025·泰安一模)阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Once strangers, David Whitson and Allie Reimold are now lifelong friends bonded by a life saving gift.
Four years earlier, as an 18 year old behavioral sciences undergraduate, Allie had helped organize the Purdue University Dance Marathon to raise money for an Indiana children's hospital. During the 16 hour event, she'd joined the National Marrow Donor Program, a global nonprofit assisting bone marrow (骨髓) and stem cell transplants for patients with life threatening blood cancers. Allie knows it's of great significance. Some 18,000 Americans are diagnosed each year with a life threatening illness — including leukemia (白血病), lymphoma, sickle cell disease and more than 70 others — that could be treated with a marrow or blood cell transplant, according to the Health Resources and Services Administration. But some patients, the federal agency says, will never find a match.
David was just 44 when he went from incredibly healthy to being on a ventilator (呼吸机)．When his cold turned into a fever, David rushed to an emergency room. He explained to the doctor that“something was seriously wrong” because the left side of his body was in pain. A CT scan and other tests revealed his poor physical condition. Acute myeloid leukemia — a rare, fast growing blood and bone marrow cancer originating from abnormal blood stem cells — tends to affect older adults, according to Yale Medicine.
He broke down when two more rounds of chemotherapy (化疗) failed to fight the illness. But if he found the right match, David's cancerous Type B positive blood could be replaced. It could return him to health. But finding a donor match can be challenging: Only about 30% of patients have a relative who can donate; for the rest, doctors search national and international donor registries, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Siblings (兄弟姐妹) are often the best matches because they have the same biological parents. But David's brother wasn't an ideal match. So, his doctors tried the registries.
注意：(1)续写词数应为150个左右；
(2)请按如下格式作答。
Allie got the call.
The bone marrow was quickly transported to David's hospital and the operation was successful.
习作讲评·每周双练·先写后背
(1)写作增分的途径不外乎多读和多练。为落实写作在平时的教学思想，本书创意设计5周写作集训，每周2练，每练集训1篇应用文写作＋1篇读后续写，旨在训练写作整体用时，强化写作这一失分短板。见配套8开卷《习题讲评》P213－232
(2)为让学生练后找差距，学他人之长提升自我，特设“背写作范文·品评中悟道高分缘由”这一赏析背诵内容，对应上面每周的写作训练，供学生比对差距、参悟提升。见《“背”倍棒》分册P272－281
第四讲 优化3个关键环节(3)
Ⅰ.1.Its pages were yellow; but the words inside were still clear
2．held the letter; felt like she was back in; waiting for the teacher to call her name
3．his shoes covered with mud; he'd been running around in the park
4．warm moments with people you like
5．the laughter of the kids who'd gotten off with me
Ⅱ.参考范文：
Allie got the call. When she learned her blood matched someone in need, she was excited. Despite the potential discomfort and dangers during the bone marrow donation process, she knew she had to do it. She remembered the reason why she joined the National Marrow Donor Program — to help those in need of a life. Allie immediately began the necessary preparations. There were numerous medical tests to ensure she was a perfect match and in good health for the donation. The process was long and a bit tiring, but her determination never changed. Soon Allie was pushed to the operating room.
The bone marrow was quickly transported to David's hospital and the operation was successful. David was filled with gratitude for this unknown donor, who was willing to go through so much for a stranger. Over the next few weeks and months, David's condition gradually improved. The once pale and weak man began to regain his strength. As soon as David was well enough, he expressed his strong desire to meet his donor. With the help of the medical staff, David finally saw Allie. They hugged each other tightly, and two strangers had become close friends through this incredible act of kindness.
1 / 11(共63张PPT)
第四讲 优化3个关键环节(3)
—细节打磨润色
打磨续写佳作，关键在于让文字如精密齿轮般咬合——段内逻辑是运转的轴心，细节描摹是齿牙的纹理，适合的结尾则是让整体闭环的锁扣。三者环环相扣，方能让写作在衔接中见流畅，在细节中显深意，在收束中见圆满。
输入你的标题
1
1
一、段内逻辑衔接，让文字“无缝流动”
“有效地使用了语句间的衔接手段，全文结构清晰，前后呼应，意义连贯”是读后续写题型赋分细则最高档的标准之一。这里不仅提及了语句间的衔接，也对文章的整体连贯性做出了要求。在前面的写作步骤中我们已经做到了大方向的连贯，在此环节我们主要润色一下语句段落之间的流畅衔接以及句意之间的逻辑连贯性，确保语言的顺畅感，短文结构的紧凑感。一段逻辑连贯的文字，是多种衔接手段协同作用的结果。
衔接手段 作用
形式衔接 形式衔接搭建起表层框架，人称代词形成清晰的指代链，常见连词则明确句间因果、顺承等关系，让叙述主体与逻辑走向一目了然。
语义衔接 语义衔接是核心。全段围绕同一话题层层推进，替代与省略在避免重复的同时，依赖语境补全语义，近义词变换则从不同角度丰富话题内涵，共同强化内容的关联性。
句式衔接 句式衔接调节表达节奏，陈述句铺陈叙事背景，直接引语还原对话场景，长短句交替配合语义推进的张弛，让行文在流畅中兼具变化。
常用的衔接手段见下表：
续表
目的
这些手段最终都指向语义的连贯性， 形式为语义服务，语义借句式呈现，替代、省略与近义词变换则让语义在精简中深化，共同构建起一段逻辑严密、表达自然的文字。
[佳作赏评悟道]
2024年新高考Ⅰ卷续写第一段
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news. I explained to him the urgency of catching the bus, emphasizing that otherwise I would be forced to stay overnight and buy a new ticket the next morning.Ultimately, I suggested, “I will return to Vienna in 4 days.If it's OK with you, I can pay you then, with an additional 10 euros as a gesture of my gratitude.” Following an uncomfortable pause, he simply nodded, saying, “I agree to this arrangement and trust you.” I thanked him with the biggest smile you can imagine, and we exchanged contact information before I got on the bus.
这段文字围绕“我向Gunter解释赶车紧迫性、提议延迟付款并达成共识”展开，段内逻辑通过多重衔接手法紧密串联，具体分析如下：
1．形式衔接
(1)代词呼应：“him”贯穿始终，均指代前文的“Gunter”，形成清晰的人称指代链，避免名词重复，明确动作对象；“I”作为叙述主体，与“him”形成互动关系，让人物行为逻辑始终聚焦双方。
(2)时间副词衔接：“otherwise”作为条件连接词，清晰呈现“赶不上车”与“滞留、重购票”之间的假设关系，强化了“赶车紧迫性”的逻辑合理性，使解释更具说服力。“Ultimately”承接前文“解释紧迫性”的铺垫，标志着叙事从“说明背景”转向“提出解决方案”，体现逻辑上的递进。
2．语义衔接
(1)话题延续：全段紧扣“因赶车需延迟支付车费”这一核心话题，从“告知坏消息”到“解释赶车紧迫性(否则滞留、重购票)”，再到“提议4天后付款并附加感谢金”，最终“达成共识、交换联系方式”，话题层层推进，构成“困境—解释—方案—结果”的完整语义链条。
(2)情境关联：“urgency of catching the bus”与“stay overnight and buy a new ticket”形成反向后果关联，强化“赶车”的必要性；“pay you then” “additional 10 euros”则直接回应“车费支付”的核心矛盾，使语义前后呼应。
(3)语境中的替代与省略：“this arrangement”替代前文提议的“4天后付款并附加10欧元感谢金”，用概括性短语替代具体方案，避免内容重复，同时明确“达成共识”的具体指向。“If it's OK with you”后省略了“to pay you then ...”，使提议更简洁委婉，符合对话语境；“saying, ‘I agree ...’”中省略主语“he”，因前文“he simply nodded”已明确动作主体，省略后不影响理解，使行文更紧凑。
(4)近义词汇变换表达
“bad news”与“the urgency of catching the bus”虽非严格的近义词，但均指“因时间紧张导致的麻烦”，前者概括负面消息，后者具体说明麻烦的核心(赶车紧迫性)，通过不同角度的表达，既避免了重复，又深化了“困境”的具体内涵。
3．句式衔接
(1)叙事与对话结合：以陈述句(如“I ran back ...”“I explained ...”)主导叙事进程，客观呈现动作和情境；穿插直接引语(如“I will return ...”“I agree ...”)
模拟对话场景，句式在陈述的连贯性中加入对话的互动性，既保持叙事流畅，又增强场景的真实感。
(2)短句与长句配合：短句(如“he simply nodded” “I agree to ...”)简洁明快，用于描述动作和结果；长句(如“I explained to him ...buy a new ticket the next morning.”)则详细铺陈背景和原因，长短句交替使节奏张弛有度。
综上，多种衔接手法的协同作用，使这段文字在叙事中逻辑清晰、节奏协调，实现了从“困境呈现”到“问题解决”的自然流转。
输入你的标题
1
2
二、细节描摹，让读者“身临其境”
故事性的读后续写需要通过对细节的描摹，才能让人物更形象、内容更丰富、故事更生动。如何写出意蕴丰满的文章，彰显自身扎实的语言功底，获得阅卷老师的青睐，本部分主要从6个方面讲解写作技法。
技法(一) 细化动作描写
动作描写可以展现人物的内心活动，表现人物的性格特征，塑造人物形象并推动情节发展。精准的动作描写能够更加细致地反映人物的心理情绪变化，更加生动地刻画人物的内心世界。描写动作时，要注意使用能体现动作的具体词汇，而不是笼统词汇。如say, walk, look等笼统词，其对应的具体词汇可用exclaim, tiptoe, stare at等。使用具体词汇描写动作，能使动作更生动形象、描写更有吸引力。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room.
托比在后院跑来跑去消耗精力，给孩子们留出了足够的空间。
②(2025·全国Ⅱ卷)I forced a smile, unsure how to respond further.
我强挤出一丝微笑，不知道接下来该如何回应。
③(2025· 浙江1月高考) He rushed out of Mrs. Hill's house and crossed the street quickly. Grabbing a branch from a cut-down tree, he jumped in through the window.
他冲出希尔太太的房子，飞快地穿过街道。他从一棵被砍倒的树上抓起一根树枝，从窗户跳了进去。
④(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)With deep appreciation, I took down his number, took over his cash and rushed towards the bus.带着深深的感激，我记下了他的电话号码，接过他的现金，冲向公交车。
⑤(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)After he pulled over and got off his car, I stepped towards him, shook hands with him and handed him the fare I owed him.他把车停在路边下车后，我走向他，同他握手，并把我欠他的车费递给他。
⑥(2023·浙江1月高考)Hands waving, I dashed towards the bird, yelling to make myself noticed. She hovered cheerfully and lowered to stand on my shoulder.我挥舞着双手，冲向那只鸟，大叫着让它注意到我。它高兴地盘旋着，然后飞下来站在我的肩上。
技法(二) 融合心理描写
心理描写是对人物在特定环境下的心理状态、精神面貌和内心活动的描写。通过对人物心理的描写，读者能直观地了解人物的心灵，体会其行为动作背后的含义。人物的心理活动可以通过人物的所思、所想和内心独白直接呈现，也可以通过景物烘托、人物动作和神态等间接呈现。
①(2025·全国Ⅱ卷)I really did not know whether I should continue correcting him or simply drop the matter. I feared that my classmates might grow tired of my efforts or even lose patience with me. After all, I did care about how others would think of me.
我真的不知道该继续纠正他，还是就此作罢。我担心同学们会对我的坚持感到厌烦，甚至对我失去耐心。毕竟，我确实很在意别人对我的看法。
②(2025· 浙江1月高考) Mr. and Mrs. Green listened attentively, with a mixture of surprise and gratitude on their faces.
格林夫妇聚精会神地听着，脸上既惊讶又感激。
③(2025· 浙江1月高考)The man froze for a second, but when he saw the skinny boy he breathed a sigh of relief.
那人愣了一下，但当他看到那个瘦弱的男孩时，他松了一口气。
④(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Instantly, a wave of shock and warmth surged in my heart.瞬间，一股惊悸和暖意涌上我的心头。
⑤(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)I was frozen at the spot, feeling incredible but overjoyed.我愣在那里，感觉难以置信，但又喜出望外。
⑥(2023· 新高考Ⅰ卷)Leaving his office that day, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and determination.
那天离开他的办公室时，我重新感到一种使命感和决心。
⑦(2023· 浙江1月高考)Memories with the hummingbird occurred to me when I walked to the blackberry-lined path.Was she alright Would she remember me？
当我走到黑莓小径时，我突然想起了与蜂鸟的往事。它还好吗？它会记得我吗？
技法(三) 使用肖像描写
肖像描写是正面刻画人物的一种写作方法，主要从人物的体貌特征(包括人物的容貌、衣着、神情、体型、姿态等)进行描写，以揭示人物的思想性格，表达作者的爱憎，加深读者对人物的印象。
①(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)When my teacher walked into the classroom, a shining bright smile was on his face.(神态)
当我的老师走进教室时，他脸上露出了灿烂的笑容。
②(2023·浙江1月高考)It seemed as if the bird was trying to capture my attention, its beady eyes settling on mine.(神态)
那只鸟似乎在试图吸引我的注意力，它那炯炯有神的眼睛盯着我的眼睛。
③(2022·浙江1月高考)The moment I arrived at his ward, his pale face and tired look told everything.(肖像)
我一到他的病房，他苍白的脸和疲惫的表情就说明了一切。
④(2022· 浙江1月高考)When asked about the secret of our successful project, I grinned, exposing a set of amazingly white teeth and answered without hesitation, “Cooperation！”(肖像)
当被问及我们项目成功的秘诀时，我咧嘴一笑，露出一副洁白无瑕的牙齿，毫不犹豫地回答：“合作！”
技法(四) 营造环境描写
环境描写可以烘托氛围，折射出人物的心理状态，与人物的思想感情密不可分。“一切景语皆情语”，读者可以根据环境描写推测出人物的心理。环境描写对情节的发展变化起铺垫和暗示作用。恰到好处的环境描写会使读者身临其境，使文章更加引人入胜。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)It started to rain and everyone went indoors.
天开始下雨，所有人都进了屋。
②(2025· 浙江1月高考)Mrs. Hill's front window faced Mr. and Mrs. Green's house across the street. The couple had both gone to work, so it was strange that someone was over there.
希尔太太的前窗对着街对面格林夫妇的房子。这对夫妇都去上班了，所以那边有人很奇怪。
③(2024·浙江1月高考)Overwhelmed with happiness and a profound sense of achievement, she raised her hand, only to be met with the distant sight of the teaching building, housing the library, gym, and cafeteria — a previously intimidating array due to her directional struggles.她满心欢喜，成就感油然而生。她举起了手，却看到了远处的教学楼，里面有图书馆、健身房和自助餐厅——一个以前令她望而生畏的种种设施，因为她的方向感差。
④(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Golden sunlight scattered through the office window, spreading the brightness and warmth.
金色的阳光透过窗户洒进办公室，散发出明亮和温暖。
技法(五) 添加对话描写
对话描写可以鲜明地展示人物的性格，生动地表现人物的思想感情，深刻地反映人物的内心世界，使读者“闻其声，如见其人”。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)His reply came as a surprise — a shock, actually: “Not a chance.”
他的回复很意外——说实话，甚至有点令人震惊：“不可能。”
②(2025· 浙江1月高考)“Stop right there! You must leave right now！” he called out, holding the branch with both hands.
“站住！你必须马上离开！”他双手紧握着树枝喊道。
③(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)To express my sincere gratitude, I added a little amount of cash and said, “If it had not been for your kind assistance and trust, I couldn't have arrived at my destination on time.”
为了表示衷心的感谢，我多加了一点现金，并说：“如果没有你好心的帮助和信任，我不可能准时到达目的地。”
④(2024·浙江1月高考)Coach Pitt was also surprised and asked her, “What did you do on your way and how did you feel in the last 100 metres？” Eva calmed down and said, “I cut one mile into some laps, focusing on the shadow of oak trees. When I finished one lap, I would feel proud of myself and I would not feel tired, but happy.”
皮特教练也很惊讶，问她：“你在路上做了什么，最后100米感觉如何？”伊娃平静下来，说：“我把一英里的路分成几圈，重点放在橡树的树影上。当我跑完一圈的时候，我会为自己感到骄傲，我不会觉得累，而是很开心。”
⑤(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Giggling instantly with a broad smile spreading on his face, “Congratulations! I knew you had it in you，”he said warmly. “Thank you.” I replied, with a mixture of gratitude and excitement.
他立刻咯咯笑起来，脸上洋溢着灿烂的笑容，“祝贺你！我就知道你有这种能力，”他热情地说。“谢谢你。”我带着感激和兴奋的心情回答。
技法(六) 引入修辞手法
为了做到与前文情境融洽度高，避免语言枯燥，可以适当运用修辞手法进一步造势，使文字鲜活，形象逼真，增强语言的表现力。常用的修辞手法有比喻(明喻和暗喻)、拟人、夸张、排比等。修辞手法常与动作、心理、对话等描写连用。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)My brother chose to bring his dog Toby, a 50-pound ball of fire. (比喻，夸张)
我的弟弟选择带来他的狗托比，那是一只50磅重、精力旺盛得像一团火的狗。
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Since then, my teacher's encouraging words, just like a lighthouse in the mist, would always be lighting in the sky of my life.(比喻)从那时起，我老师的鼓舞人心的话语，就像雾中的灯塔，永远照亮着我生命的天空。
③My parents frowned as they knew they had a sea of troubles.(夸张)我的父母眉头紧锁，因为他们知道他们要面对的问题数不胜数。
④(2023·浙江1月高考)I was very happy and could hear the bird singing above my head.(拟人)
我很开心，能听到这只鸟在我头顶上唱歌。
⑤On our way, I held onto her little hand, and she beamed a smile that was brighter than the sun.(夸张)
在路上，我抓住她的小手，她露出了比太阳还要灿烂的笑容。
⑥(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)But, like Revere's horse, I kept going. I worked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my older sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half-dozen books on Paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them.(排比)
但是，就像里维尔的马一样，我继续前行。我努力写作。我检查拼写。我请姐姐纠正我的语法。我从图书馆里借了六本关于保罗·里维尔的书。我甚至读了其中的一些。
输入你的标题
1
3
三、意蕴结尾，让收束“回味悠长”
一篇好文章，除了有吸引眼球的开头，引人入胜的情节，还应该有耐人寻味的巧妙结尾。作为篇章的结尾有两个作用：一是圆合文章，二是深化主题。要想写好续写的结尾，让其具有“画龙点睛”的作用，可以采用下面六种结尾方式：
方式(一) 感悟式结尾
感悟式结尾是指通过总结个人体会、升华主题或引发读者思考的方式，赋予内容更深层意义的结尾形式。
①(2025· 浙江1月高考)Kevin learned an important lesson that day: always verify the facts before taking action, but never hesitate to help those in need.
凯文那天学到了重要的一课：在采取行动之前，一定要核实事实，但要毫不犹豫地帮助那些有需要的人。
②(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)I felt blessed to have such a warm-hearted friend like Gunter who has a heart of gold.
能拥有冈特这样怀有赤子之心的挚友，我何其有幸。
③(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)What I learned from the writing contest was that when faced with challenges，I should be courageous and try to make a difference！
我从这次写作比赛中学到的是：当面对挑战时，我应该勇敢，努力做出改变！
方式(二) 哲理式结尾
哲理式结尾是指通过提炼核心思想、升华主题或揭示深层人生智慧，使结尾具有启发性、思辨性或普遍意义的结尾方式。
①(2025· 全国Ⅱ卷)We laughed, but I knew: a name is a story waiting to be told and shared.
我们笑了，但我知道：名字是一个等待被讲述和分享的故事。
②(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)A small act of kindness could make a great difference to others.
一个小小的善举可能会对别人产生很大的影响。
③(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
世上无难事，只怕有心人。
方式(三) 自然式结尾
自然式结尾是指按照故事情节的发展顺序，自然而然地收束全文的结尾方式。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)We laughed and reminisced, and for the first time in months, I felt like we were truly brothers again.
我们笑着、回忆着，几个月来，我第一次觉得我们真的又像兄弟一样了。
②(2024·新高考Ⅰ卷)Then we wished each other all the best and I gave him a grateful hug.
然后我们互相祝福一切都好，我感激地拥抱了他。
③(2024·浙江1月高考)Her teachers were all amazed about her changes and her classmates also showed respect to her. From then on, Eva had more confidence to do anything.
她的老师都对她的变化感到惊讶，她的同学也对她表示尊重。从那时起，伊娃更有信心去做任何事情。
方式(四) 对话式结尾
对话式结尾是指通过人物对话来结束全文。对话可以是双方的，也可以是单方的。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)With moist eyes, he said affectionately, “The bond between us brothers is more precious than anything else and deserves to be cherished well.”
他眼睛湿润了，深情地说：“我们兄弟间的情谊比什么都重要，值得好好珍惜。”
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)Then he pointed that my passion, devotion and persistence contributed to my success. “Just like the horse you wrote, he got tired and had doubts, but he kept going.”
然后他指出，是我的热情、奉献和坚持促成了我的成功。“就像你写的那匹马，虽然它疲劳、有疑惑，但它继续前进。”
③(2023·浙江1月高考)As I moved on and got ready to leave, my friend said to me, “Cherish such a magical memory, and this has to be very rare”．当我准备离开时，我的朋友对我说：“珍惜这段神奇的回忆，这是非常罕见的。”
方式(五) 呼应式结尾
呼应式结尾是指通过重复、总结或回应前文开头或前文某一部分内容，形成前后呼应的结尾方式。
①(2025·全国Ⅱ卷)
前文：Instead of correcting others when they were struggling to pronounce my name, I just smiled and nodded approvingly.This approach spared me the discomfort of having to over-explain.
结尾：Now, whenever someone mispronounces “Qiuyu”， I no longer hesitate; instead, I smile and say, “Let me tell you the story behind it.”
现在，每当有人拼错“秋雨”时，我不再犹豫；相反，我微笑着说：“让我告诉你它背后的故事。”
②(2023·新高考Ⅰ卷)
前文：When I was in middle school，my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest.
结尾：I owe my success to my social studies teacher who is a beacon on the road to writing.
我把我的成功归功于我的社会学老师，他是我写作道路上的灯塔。
③(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)
前文：His usual big toothy smile was absent today.
结尾：Crossing the finish line, his usual big smile was there as that sunny day.冲过终点线时，他像往常一样笑得灿烂，如同明媚的阳光。
方式(六) 景情式结尾
景情式结尾通过寓情于景、以景结情、借景抒情等方法描写景物，寄托或抒发作者的某种情感。
①(2025·全国Ⅰ卷)As we chatted over the biscuits, laughter slowly filled the room, bridging the gap between us.
当我们边吃饼干边聊天时，笑声慢慢充满了房间，弥合了我们之间的隔阂。
②(2023·浙江1月高考)Moments later, she let out a squeaking call, spread her wings, and flew into the sky. This beautiful picture would stay in my memory forever.
过了一会儿，它发出一声尖叫，展开翅膀，飞上了天空。这幅美丽的画面将会永远留在我的记忆中。
③(2023·浙江1月高考)Despite the chill autumn wind, my heart was filled with the warmth of love and pleasure.
尽管秋风凛冽，但我心中却充满了爱和喜悦的温暖。
Ⅰ.根据要求完成语段
1．He picked up the old book, blowing off the dust. _________ __________,_________________________________— the same ones his dad had read to him as a kid.(形式衔接与语义衔接)
他拿起那本旧书，吹掉上面的灰尘。书页已经泛黄，但里面的字依然清晰——就像小时候爸爸读给他听的那些字一样。
随堂训练·应用体验
Its pages
were yellow
but the words inside were still clear
2．She _____________ and brushed the crinkled edge with her thumb. The room was quiet, and for a second, she ____________ _____________that small classroom, _________________________ ______________.(体现句式衔接与细化动作＋心理描写)
她持着那封信，拇指摩挲着皱巴巴的边缘。房间里静悄悄的，有那么一瞬间，她仿佛又回到了那个小小的教室，等着老师喊她的名字。
held the letter
felt like she
waiting for the teacher to
was back in
call her name
3．David sat under the tree,________________________. His hair was messy, and a red jacket lay beside him — you could tell _________ _________________________ all afternoon.(外貌描写＋环境描写)
大卫坐在树下，鞋上沾满了泥。头发乱糟糟的，一件红夹克放在旁边——一看就知道，他一下午都在公园里跑来跑去。
his shoes covered with mud
he'd been
running around in the park
4．We finished the game, laughing loudly. The sky was dark, and I suddenly thought: happy times don't need to be big. Sometimes they're just small，________________________________.(感悟式结尾)
我们结束了游戏，大声笑着。天已经黑了，我忽然觉得：开心的时刻不一定非得轰轰烈烈。有时候，它们就是和喜欢的人在一起的那些小小的、暖暖的瞬间。
warm moments with people you like
5．The bus drove away, and I stood there, watching. The street lights came on, glowing softly, and I could still hear_____________ ________________________________.(景情式结尾)
公交车开走了，我站在原地望着。街灯亮了起来，发出柔和的光，和我一起下车的那些孩子的笑声，好像还在耳边回荡。
the laughter
of the kids who'd gotten off with me
Ⅱ.读后续写
(2025·泰安一模)阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Once strangers, David Whitson and Allie Reimold are now lifelong friends bonded by a life-saving gift.
Four years earlier, as an 18-year-old behavioral sciences undergraduate, Allie had helped organize the Purdue University Dance Marathon to raise money for an Indiana children's hospital.
During the 16-hour event, she'd joined the National Marrow Donor Program, a global nonprofit assisting bone marrow (骨髓) and stem cell transplants for patients with life-threatening blood cancers. Allie knows it's of great significance. Some 18,000 Americans are diagnosed each year with a life-threatening illness — including leukemia (白血病), lymphoma, sickle cell disease and more than 70 others — that could be treated with a marrow or blood cell transplant, according to the Health Resources and Services Administration. But some patients, the federal agency says, will never find a match.
David was just 44 when he went from incredibly healthy to being on a ventilator (呼吸机)．When his cold turned into a fever, David rushed to an emergency room. He explained to the doctor that“something was seriously wrong” because the left side of his body was in pain. A CT scan and other tests revealed his poor physical condition. Acute myeloid leukemia — a rare, fast-growing blood and bone marrow cancer originating from abnormal blood stem cells — tends to affect older adults, according to Yale Medicine.
He broke down when two more rounds of chemotherapy (化疗) failed to fight the illness. But if he found the right match, David's cancerous Type B-positive blood could be replaced. It could return him to health. But finding a donor match can be challenging: Only about 30% of patients have a relative who can donate; for the rest, doctors search national and international donor registries, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Siblings (兄弟姐妹) are often the best matches because they have the same biological parents. But David's brother wasn't an ideal match. So, his doctors tried the registries.
注意：(1)续写词数应为150个左右；(2)请按如下格式作答。
Allie got the call. _________________________________________
____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
The bone marrow was quickly transported to David's hospital and the operation was successful. __________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
参考范文：
Allie got the call. When she learned her blood matched someone in need, she was excited. Despite the potential discomfort and dangers during the bone marrow donation process, she knew she had to do it. She remembered the reason why she joined the National Marrow Donor Program — to help those in need of a life. Allie immediately began the necessary preparations. There were numerous medical tests to ensure she was a perfect match and in good health for the donation. The process was long and a bit tiring, but her determination never changed. Soon Allie was pushed to the operating room.
The bone marrow was quickly transported to David's hospital and the operation was successful. David was filled with gratitude for this unknown donor, who was willing to go through so much for a stranger. Over the next few weeks and months, David's condition gradually improved. The once-pale and weak man began to regain his strength. As soon as David was well enough, he expressed his strong desire to meet his donor. With the help of the medical staff, David finally saw Allie. They hugged each other tightly, and two strangers had become close friends through this incredible act of kindness.
