写作主题十 人物描写
——发现失分短板
（2023·全国甲卷改编）你们学校正举办主题为“用英文讲中国故事”的征文活动。请你以一位中国历史人物为题写一篇短文投稿。内容包括：
（1）人物简介及事迹；
（2）意义或启示。
注意：（1）写作词数应为80个左右；
（2）请按如下格式作答。
A Historical Figure in China
——探究失分原因
1.对人物事迹或贡献的介绍太笼统
有些学生往往用过多的抽象语言去赞美人物，没有实质内容，导致作文空洞，很难触动阅卷老师的心。
He is a brilliant person in people’s eyes， and I couldn’t agree more.Also， he sets a good example to us all about how to be an excellent person. If you read more about him， you will learn more and perform better in your studies.（有啰唆赘述之感，内容空洞，无实际意义）
2.从事迹到个人启示的过渡太突兀
部分学生在写完人物事迹之后，直接升华到个人启示，致使作文不够连贯。为了确保行文流畅，学生需要巧妙地使用一些过渡性的句子。
——规范答题架构
人物描写属于记叙文的写作范畴，写作时要围绕人物组织材料，要做到主题鲜明、内容生动，注意结构的完整性。具体写作架构为：
——储备靓点表达
1.吸引阅卷人的开头句——引入话题
①There are many respectable people around us.And the person I respect most is my physics teacher， who is so patient with each student that we all like her.
②Of all the brilliant historical figures in China， I admire Sima Qian most， who is best-known for his brilliant work Shi Ji， or Historical Records.
③Old as Zhong Nanshan is， he still makes great contributions in the field of medicine.
2.吸引阅卷人的篇中句——具体人物描述
①Yuan Longping is a Chinese agricultural scientist and educator， known for developing the first hybrid rice varieties in the 1970s.
②She has been highly respected for her wisdom as well as courage by the Chinese people.
③It’s her friendliness and the sense of responsibility that make me admire her.
④She teaches us not only how to gain knowledge but also how to be a good person.
3.吸引阅卷人的结尾句——对人物进行评价
①Having set a great example to us students， she fully deserves my respect.
②Her spirit inspires me and millions of other girls to live an independent life and be responsible for our own decisions.
③His passion for his career and his persistence in his mission will always motivate us to keep working hard for our dreams.
——研读满分佳作
A Historical Figure in China
I would like to introduce a historical figure in China， Confucius. He was born in the state of Lu， which is located in present-day Qufu， Shandong Province. Confucius was a great philosopher， educator， and politician who left a profound impact on Chinese culture and society.
Confucius believed in the importance of moral values such as respect， loyalty， and kindness. He emphasized the importance of education and self-improvement， which he believed would lead to a harmonious society. His teachings and philosophy were compiled into a book called The Analects， which is still studied by many Chinese today.
Despite facing opposition and exile during his lifetime， Confucius’ teachings have continued to influence Chinese society for over 2，000 years. He is still one of the most important figures in Chinese history today.
——冲击满分作文
你校正在组织英语作文比赛。请你以My Deskmate为题写一篇短文参赛，内容包括：
（1）简要介绍你的同桌；
（2）你从他（她）身上学到什么。
注意：（1）写作词数应为80个左右；
（2）请按如下格式作答。
My Deskmate
提示：完成课后作业 专题五 应用文写作规范练（一）～（二）
3 / 3写作主题十 人物描写
——发现失分短板
（2023·全国甲卷改编）你们学校正举办主题为“用英文讲中国故事”的征文活动。请你以一位中国历史人物为题写一篇短文投稿。内容包括：
（1）人物简介及事迹；
（2）意义或启示。
注意：（1）写作词数应为80个左右；
（2）请按如下格式作答。
A Historical Figure in China
——探究失分原因
1.对人物事迹或贡献的介绍太笼统
有些学生往往用过多的抽象语言去赞美人物，没有实质内容，导致作文空洞，很难触动阅卷老师的心。
He is a brilliant person in people’s eyes， and I couldn’t agree more.Also， he sets a good example to us all about how to be an excellent person. If you read more about him， you will learn more and perform better in your studies.（有啰唆赘述之感，内容空洞，无实际意义）
2.从事迹到个人启示的过渡太突兀
部分学生在写完人物事迹之后，直接升华到个人启示，致使作文不够连贯。为了确保行文流畅，学生需要巧妙地使用一些过渡性的句子。
——规范答题架构
人物描写属于记叙文的写作范畴，写作时要围绕人物组织材料，要做到主题鲜明、内容生动，注意结构的完整性。具体写作架构为：
——储备靓点表达
1.吸引阅卷人的开头句——引入话题
①There are many respectable people around us.And the person I respect most is my physics teacher， who is so patient with each student that we all like her.
②Of all the brilliant historical figures in China， I admire Sima Qian most， who is best-known for his brilliant work Shi Ji， or Historical Records.
③Old as Zhong Nanshan is， he still makes great contributions in the field of medicine.
2.吸引阅卷人的篇中句——具体人物描述
①Yuan Longping is a Chinese agricultural scientist and educator， known for developing the first hybrid rice varieties in the 1970s.
②She has been highly respected for her wisdom as well as courage by the Chinese people.
③It’s her friendliness and the sense of responsibility that make me admire her.
④She teaches us not only how to gain knowledge but also how to be a good person.
3.吸引阅卷人的结尾句——对人物进行评价
①Having set a great example to us students， she fully deserves my respect.
②Her spirit inspires me and millions of other girls to live an independent life and be responsible for our own decisions.
③His passion for his career and his persistence in his mission will always motivate us to keep working hard for our dreams.
——研读满分佳作
A Historical Figure in China
I would like to introduce a historical figure in China， Confucius. He was born in the state of Lu， which is located in present-day Qufu， Shandong Province. Confucius was a great philosopher， educator， and politician who left a profound impact on Chinese culture and society.
Confucius believed in the importance of moral values such as respect， loyalty， and kindness. He emphasized the importance of education and self-improvement， which he believed would lead to a harmonious society. His teachings and philosophy were compiled into a book called The Analects， which is still studied by many Chinese today.
Despite facing opposition and exile during his lifetime， Confucius’ teachings have continued to influence Chinese society for over 2，000 years. He is still one of the most important figures in Chinese history today.
——冲击满分作文
你校正在组织英语作文比赛。请你以My Deskmate为题写一篇短文参赛，内容包括：
（1）简要介绍你的同桌；
（2）你从他（她）身上学到什么。
注意：（1）写作词数应为80个左右；
（2）请按如下格式作答。
My Deskmate
参考范文：
My Deskmate
My deskmate is Wang Ping， who is a very lovely and friendly girl of my age.
With an outgoing personality， she is easy to get along with. Not only does she do well in her studies， but she is also good at sports， such as ping-pong and badminton. More importantly， she is always ready to help others whenever she is needed.
As one of the top students in our grade， Wang Ping has a number of good personal qualities. What impresses me most is her strong will and persistence. No matter what difficulties she meets with， she never gives up； instead， she will try her best to accept challenges and overcome them.
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