第二讲 抓细节——微观剖析,突破读后续写
读后续写一般以记叙文为主。记叙文是以记人、叙事、写景、状物为主,以人物的经历和事物发展变化为主要内容的一种文体形式。 要写好续写部分,读文审题、理解文本是第一步。对于原文阅读,应完成以下四个方面的阅读任务:
1.关注五个“W”,思考一个“H”
为了使续写部分和所给材料共同构成一篇逻辑连贯、情节完整的短文,必须在文本大意和写作意图的统领下分析所给文本的情境模式,即5W1H(Who、When、Where、What、Why和How)。梳理所给短文的主要内容,即人物、时间、地点、事件、原因(5W),为续写部分的情节构思提供依据与方向,然后准确思考出事件的结果(1H)。
2.寻找故事“明线”,探索故事“暗线”
一个完整的故事通常有一条或多条线索,包含时间、空间、人、物、情感、事件等。续写故事中,较为常见的是事件线索(情节线)和情感线索(情感线),也就是文章中的明线与暗线。
文字描述的表象即文章的明线,在续写时要抓住这条明线,创设与原文相关联的场景、人物关系等,以保证续写内容与原文内容的一致性和连贯性;同时,还要特别关注隐藏在文字之后的言外之意,这种言外之意即暗线。这些暗线能够帮助我们解决续写部分的关键问题:人物的冲突是什么?故事应该朝着哪个方向发展?在两线并行的基础上,续写的方向才不会跑偏。
3.把握文章主旨,推测故事方向
文章的主旨意图即故事情节的发展方向,只有把握了故事的正确发展方向,我们才能更好地分析故事情节,完成续写。同时,我们可以确保续写的内容和原文保持逻辑上的一致性,能回应原文的信息。
4.解读人物特点,领悟语言风格
语言层面处理的微技能主要包括通过细节描写塑造人物形象,描写方法包括:动作描写、场景描写、心理描写、语言描写等,或者运用不同的修辞手法为文章增色。因此,我们要留心观察原文的语言微技能,解读人物特点,分析其行文风格,以便使续写的内容在人物形象上和语言风格上与所给文章保持一致。
(2024·新课标Ⅰ卷)I met Gunter on a cold, wet and unforgettable evening in September.I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference.Due to a big storm, my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half.I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague.The moment I got off the plane, I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.
That was when I met Gunter.I told him where I was going, but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station.I thought my pronunciation was the problem, so I explained again more slowly, but he still looked confused.When I was about to give up, Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend.After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century, Gunter put his phone down and started the car.
Finally, with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station.Thankfully, there was a long queue (队列) still waiting to board the bus.Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus, turned around, and looked at me with a big smile on his face.“We made it,” he said.
Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet.I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard.He tried it several times, but the card machine just did not play along.A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out.
At this moment, Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station.There, at the entrance, was a cash machine.I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the machine, and popped my card in, only to read the message:“Out of order.Sorry.”
注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;2.请按如下格式作答。
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised.
1.关注五个“W”,思考一个“H”
When on a cold, wet and unforgettable evening in September
Where from the airport to the bus station
Who Gunter and I
Why I had zero cash/bankcard, couldn’t be used/ a cash machine, didn’t help ...
What I did not have cash to pay the taxi fare after trying every possible means but I had to catch the last bus.
How 根据文本与续写第一段和第二段首句提示,推测结果是“我”无法支付出租车费用,只有把无法支付费用的坏消息告诉Gunter;根据续写第二段首句可知,善良的司机在“我”困难时给予了帮助和理解,作者结束旅行后如约和Gunter再次见面
2.寻找故事“明线”,探索故事“暗线”
(1)情节线:作者乘坐巴士去Prague开会,但是由于飞机延误即将迟到→司机听不懂巴士站名,司机求助朋友→作者准时到达巴士站,再排队上车→作者钱包没钱,卡刷不了,取款机坏了→作者告知司机无法支付车费→跟司机约定过几天再给他钱→作者如期赴约还钱……
(2)情感线:anxious→relieved→frustrated and helpless→grateful and touched ...
3.把握文章主旨,推测故事方向
Paragraph 1 I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
衔接句1 What was Gunter’sreaction to the news? Sympathy and understanding.
微场景1 What did Gunter do? He comforted me and showed his kindness.
微场景2 How did I feel about the situation? Grateful and touched.
段尾句1 How to end Para.1 to ensure the coherence with Para.2? I promised to pay him back four days later when I was back in Vienna and Gunter trusted me.
Paragraph 2 Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised.
衔接句2 What did I say? I would meet him at the appointed place and pay him the fare.
微场景1 What happened after we met? I kept my promise and handed him an envelope with the fare and a little extra as a token of my appreciation for all the trouble caused.
微场景2 How did Gunter react to the extra money? Gunter refused the extra money and asked me to buy him a beer next time I came to Vienna.
段尾句2 How did I feel after all this? I took a picture of Gunter and me laughing heartily at Vienna airport, a constant reminder of my restored faith in humanity.
主旨升华 The theme of this article is concentrated on the kindness and trust between strangers. Additionally, keeping promises is also highlighted.
4.解读人物特点,领悟语言风格
本文语言简洁,语法结构丰富,写作手法灵活。
(1)本文侧重运用语言描写和动作描写刻画Gunter这一人物形象:kind, warm-hearted。
①When I was about to give up, Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend.
②Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus, turned around, and looked at me with a big smile on his face.“We made it,” he said.
(2)本文运用了丰富的语法结构和比喻、动作链等修辞手法来刻画作者的形象。
①The moment I got off the plane, I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.(比喻修辞手法)
②After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century, Gunter put his phone down and started the car.(夸张修辞手法)
③I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the machine, and popped my card in, only to read the message:“Out of order. Sorry.” (动作链描写)
续写内容应注意与以上人物形象和写作手法相照应。
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news. He looked at me in disbelief, asking me what to do. Giving him another apologetic smile, I asked him for a delay in payment and promised to call him and pay him back the money I owed him. Sensing my frustration, Gunter patted me on the shoulder, grinning,“It’s all right. Forget about the fare and go catch your bus.” A feeling of gratitude washed over me. I gave him a firm handshake, jumped out of the car, made a mad dash for the bus and jumped onto it just before it left.
Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised. We met at the bus station where he had dropped me off four days before. As soon as I saw him, I gave him a big hug. I told him that thanks to his kindness and timely help, everything had gone smoothly. I paid him for the ride, along with a generous tip, which he declined. I felt blessed to have met such a warm-hearted man. After that, we became good friends and kept in touch with each other regularly.Till now,every time I recall this experience, I can’t help wondering if there is more honesty and trust in the world, how charming our world will be.
【亮点分析】
1.评续写构思
本续写内容完整,主题鲜明,情节有逻辑,前后有呼应,与原文融洽。
2.赏语言风格
本文的语言风格与原文一致。
①A feeling of gratitude washed over me.(无灵主语)
②It’s all right. Forget about the fare and go catch your bus.(语言描写)
③I gave him a firm handshake, jumped out of the car, made a mad dash for the bus and jumped onto it just before it left.(动作链描写)
3.赏高级表达
(1)本文运用了准确丰富的动词词汇或词块:patted me on the shoulder, washed over, gave him a big hug, felt blessed。
(2)本文运用了多样的语法结构:续写部分语言简洁,但语法结构的运用恰当丰富,如:A feeling of gratitude washed over me.(无灵主语);Giving him another apologetic smile ...;Sensing my frustration ...(动词-ing短语作状语);...which he declined (定语从句)。
4.赏衔接升华
续写部分最后一句Till now, every time I recall this experience, I can’t help wondering if there is more honesty and trust in the world, how charming our world will be.对本文主旨进行了升华,说明人世间诚实和信任的可贵。
1 / 3第二讲 抓细节——微观剖析,突破读后续写
读后续写一般以记叙文为主。记叙文是以记人、叙事、写景、状物为主,以人物的经历和事物发展变化为主要内容的一种文体形式。 要写好续写部分,读文审题、理解文本是第一步。对于原文阅读,应完成以下四个方面的阅读任务:
1.关注五个“W”,思考一个“H”
为了使续写部分和所给材料共同构成一篇逻辑连贯、情节完整的短文,必须在文本大意和写作意图的统领下分析所给文本的情境模式,即5W1H(Who、When、Where、What、Why和How)。梳理所给短文的主要内容,即人物、时间、地点、事件、原因(5W),为续写部分的情节构思提供依据与方向,然后准确思考出事件的结果(1H)。
2.寻找故事“明线”,探索故事“暗线”
一个完整的故事通常有一条或多条线索,包含时间、空间、人、物、情感、事件等。续写故事中,较为常见的是事件线索(情节线)和情感线索(情感线),也就是文章中的明线与暗线。
文字描述的表象即文章的明线,在续写时要抓住这条明线,创设与原文相关联的场景、人物关系等,以保证续写内容与原文内容的一致性和连贯性;同时,还要特别关注隐藏在文字之后的言外之意,这种言外之意即暗线。这些暗线能够帮助我们解决续写部分的关键问题:人物的冲突是什么?故事应该朝着哪个方向发展?在两线并行的基础上,续写的方向才不会跑偏。
3.把握文章主旨,推测故事方向
文章的主旨意图即故事情节的发展方向,只有把握了故事的正确发展方向,我们才能更好地分析故事情节,完成续写。同时,我们可以确保续写的内容和原文保持逻辑上的一致性,能回应原文的信息。
4.解读人物特点,领悟语言风格
语言层面处理的微技能主要包括通过细节描写塑造人物形象,描写方法包括:动作描写、场景描写、心理描写、语言描写等,或者运用不同的修辞手法为文章增色。因此,我们要留心观察原文的语言微技能,解读人物特点,分析其行文风格,以便使续写的内容在人物形象上和语言风格上与所给文章保持一致。
(2024·新课标Ⅰ卷)I met Gunter on a cold, wet and unforgettable evening in September.I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference.Due to a big storm, my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half.I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague.The moment I got off the plane, I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.
That was when I met Gunter.I told him where I was going, but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station.I thought my pronunciation was the problem, so I explained again more slowly, but he still looked confused.When I was about to give up, Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend.After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century, Gunter put his phone down and started the car.
Finally, with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station.Thankfully, there was a long queue (队列) still waiting to board the bus.Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus, turned around, and looked at me with a big smile on his face.“We made it,” he said.
Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet.I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard.He tried it several times, but the card machine just did not play along.A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out.
At this moment, Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station.There, at the entrance, was a cash machine.I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the machine, and popped my card in, only to read the message:“Out of order.Sorry.”
注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;2.请按如下格式作答。
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised.
1.关注五个“W”,思考一个“H”
When on a cold, wet and unforgettable evening in September
Where from the airport to the bus station
Who Gunter and I
Why I had zero cash/bankcard, couldn’t be used/ a cash machine, didn’t help ...
What I did not have cash to pay the taxi fare after trying every possible means but I had to catch the last bus.
How 根据文本与续写第一段和第二段首句提示,推测结果是“我”无法支付出租车费用,只有把无法支付费用的坏消息告诉Gunter;根据续写第二段首句可知,善良的司机在“我”困难时给予了帮助和理解,作者结束旅行后如约和Gunter再次见面
2.寻找故事“明线”,探索故事“暗线”
(1)情节线:作者乘坐巴士去Prague开会,但是由于飞机延误即将迟到→司机听不懂巴士站名,司机求助朋友→作者准时到达巴士站,再排队上车→作者钱包没钱,卡刷不了,取款机坏了→作者告知司机无法支付车费→跟司机约定过几天再给他钱→作者如期赴约还钱……
(2)情感线:anxious→relieved→frustrated and helpless→grateful and touched ...
3.把握文章主旨,推测故事方向
Paragraph 1 I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
衔接句1 What was Gunter’sreaction to the news? Sympathy and understanding.
微场景1 What did Gunter do? He comforted me and showed his kindness.
微场景2 How did I feel about the situation? Grateful and touched.
段尾句1 How to end Para.1 to ensure the coherence with Para.2? I promised to pay him back four days later when I was back in Vienna and Gunter trusted me.
Paragraph 2 Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised.
衔接句2 What did I say? I would meet him at the appointed place and pay him the fare.
微场景1 What happened after we met? I kept my promise and handed him an envelope with the fare and a little extra as a token of my appreciation for all the trouble caused.
微场景2 How did Gunter react to the extra money? Gunter refused the extra money and asked me to buy him a beer next time I came to Vienna.
段尾句2 How did I feel after all this? I took a picture of Gunter and me laughing heartily at Vienna airport, a constant reminder of my restored faith in humanity.
主旨升华 The theme of this article is concentrated on the kindness and trust between strangers. Additionally, keeping promises is also highlighted.
4.解读人物特点,领悟语言风格
本文语言简洁,语法结构丰富,写作手法灵活。
(1)本文侧重运用语言描写和动作描写刻画Gunter这一人物形象:kind, warm-hearted。
①When I was about to give up, Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend.
②Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus, turned around, and looked at me with a big smile on his face.“We made it,” he said.
(2)本文运用了丰富的语法结构和比喻、动作链等修辞手法来刻画作者的形象。
①The moment I got off the plane, I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.(比喻修辞手法)
②After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century, Gunter put his phone down and started the car.(夸张修辞手法)
③I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the machine, and popped my card in, only to read the message:“Out of order. Sorry.” (动作链描写)
续写内容应注意与以上人物形象和写作手法相照应。
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news. He looked at me in disbelief, asking me what to do. Giving him another apologetic smile, I asked him for a delay in payment and promised to call him and pay him back the money I owed him. Sensing my frustration, Gunter patted me on the shoulder, grinning,“It’s all right. Forget about the fare and go catch your bus.” A feeling of gratitude washed over me. I gave him a firm handshake, jumped out of the car, made a mad dash for the bus and jumped onto it just before it left.
Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised. We met at the bus station where he had dropped me off four days before. As soon as I saw him, I gave him a big hug. I told him that thanks to his kindness and timely help, everything had gone smoothly. I paid him for the ride, along with a generous tip, which he declined. I felt blessed to have met such a warm-hearted man. After that, we became good friends and kept in touch with each other regularly.Till now,every time I recall this experience, I can’t help wondering if there is more honesty and trust in the world, how charming our world will be.
【亮点分析】
1.评续写构思
本续写内容完整,主题鲜明,情节有逻辑,前后有呼应,与原文融洽。
2.赏语言风格
本文的语言风格与原文一致。
①A feeling of gratitude washed over me.(无灵主语)
②It’s all right. Forget about the fare and go catch your bus.(语言描写)
③I gave him a firm handshake, jumped out of the car, made a mad dash for the bus and jumped onto it just before it left.(动作链描写)
3.赏高级表达
(1)本文运用了准确丰富的动词词汇或词块:patted me on the shoulder, washed over, gave him a big hug, felt blessed。
(2)本文运用了多样的语法结构:续写部分语言简洁,但语法结构的运用恰当丰富,如:A feeling of gratitude washed over me.(无灵主语);Giving him another apologetic smile ...;Sensing my frustration ...(动词-ing短语作状语);...which he declined (定语从句)。
4.赏衔接升华
续写部分最后一句Till now, every time I recall this experience, I can’t help wondering if there is more honesty and trust in the world, how charming our world will be.对本文主旨进行了升华,说明人世间诚实和信任的可贵。
1 / 3