(共65张PPT)
2026中考英语二轮复习写作特训 讲解课件
写作特训13 名校模考范文 20 篇
名校模考高分范文
名师分类点评
2026 中考英语二轮复习写作特训
13 名校模考范文 20 篇名师分类点评
Passage 1 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍中国元素
从中国特色名胜——颐和园
Dear friends,
Welcome to China! China is a vast country with the most breathtaking views in
the world.① It's my pleasure to give you an introduction of a worth-visiting place,
the Summer Palace.
亮点赏析
①本句巧用形容词 vast 和 breathtaking 描述了中国的辽阔和令人叹为观止的景
色,用词精准;
Located in Beijing, the capital of China, the Summer Palace is a magnificent
landscape garden that was built during the Qing dyasty. In the center of it, there is a
beautiful park with a clear lake which reflects the blue sky and bright sunshine.②
Next to the lake, a huge tower stands on a hill. Moreover, many green trees are planted in the garden, making the Summer Palace a perfect place to escape the summer heat.
②which 引导定语从句进一步点明湖水的清澈, 同时为读者勾勒出具体风光,画
面感强;
I recommend this place because it's really suitable for you to relax and enjoy
yourselves. Through breathing the fresh air and rowing boats, you are sure to have a wonderful summer experience. Furthermore, the Summer Palace is steeped in
history,allowing you to learn about the rich cultural heritage of China.③
Hope you'll enjoy yourselves here.
③点明颐和园在中国的历史地位,并用现在分词短语 allowing...作状语扩写结
果;其中 is steeped in 用词巧妙,表达地道。
名师点评
本文语言生动,结构清晰,属于典型的“ 总—分—总”结构,开头直接引入主题:介绍颐和园正文分为两段,分别介绍了颐和园的主要景观和自己的推荐理由,结尾表达祝愿。内容充实,价值导向积极,推荐理由合理,强调了颐和园的历史文化价值和其作为避暑圣地的优点。语言方面, 小作者使用了丰富的词汇和句型句式,如介词短语作状语、现在分词短语作状语、定语从句、原因状语从句等提升文章语言质量。总之,本文语言精炼、细节丰富,达到了介绍和推荐的目的。
Passage 2 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍一件有意义的物品
一件有意义的物品——珍贵日历
The Most Meaningful Object to Me
What is the most meaningful object to me ①lt must be a beautiful calendar that
my friend Amy gave me this year.
亮点赏析
①以 What 引导的特殊疑问句引出话题,吸引读者兴趣的同时引发读者思考,构思新颖;
Amy and I developed a close relationship six years ago. However, she planned to
study abroad in March, and we would be separated inevitably. To my surprise,②
before she left, she sent me a calendar that was decorated by herself.The calendar featured many messages of good wishes an pictures we took together. Furthermore,
②To my surprise 表示“令我吃惊的是,衔接前句,展现作者收到礼物时的惊喜;
she circled a date in December when she would come back,③ and she said that
if I missed her, I could recall the wonderful moments through the calendar.
All in all, this calendar carries the good times between us and serves as a source of
strength. When l face difficulties, each page inspires me to keep pushing forward.④
③whe 引导定语从句,通过对日历的细节展示,进一步说明日历的珍贵意义;
④结尾段落再次点明日历对自己的深刻意义--激励自己继续前进,升华主题
名师点评
本文结构清晰, 内容充实,主题明确。从介绍日历的重要性,到描述朋友之间的情谊,再到日历如何成为自己力量的源泉,逻辑性强,情感表达真挚。特别值得称赞的是, 小作者巧妙利用时间线索“before she left”和“when she would come
back”等连接各部分,过渡自然流畅。另外,全文详略得当,语言准确, 句式多样,如用时间状语从句、定语从句等丰富文章表达,全文展现出日历对自己的珍贵意义,深刻展现了友谊的力量和美好回忆的价值。
Passage 3 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次你运用所学解决实际问题
的经历
用物理知识解决问题
It's important to put what we've learned into practice. Only by applying it in our life can we truly understand its value.
Last summer during a field camp, when my friends and I were about to cook some food for ourselves, we met a problem that we didn't have a lighter to make a fire. As we brainstormed solutions, it occurred to me that a convex lens can focus
light and create heat.①
亮点赏析
①用 As 引导的时间状语从句和 it occurred to me that...描述了当时的场景, 同时
引出利用知识解决问题的想法,逻辑连贯;
Therefore, I quickly took out a magnifying glass and placed it in the sun.
Seeing the sunlight focus on the glass and the wood start to blaze, all of us felt
excited and we even called our physics teacher to share our success.②And at that
moment, a sense of achievement welled up in my heart.
②通过动词(短语)focus on ,blaze ,felt excited ,called 等详细地描绘了实验
成功的情录,细节丰富,具有画面感;
Through this experience, I have learned that knowledge is power when put into practice. In addition, it has encouraged me to actively use what I have learned to
overcome difficulties.③
③用 In addition 与上文衔接自然。本句表明了小作者积极利用知识解决实际问题的态度。
名师点评
本文结构紧凑, 内容生动。作者通过叙述自己当朋友的一次野外露营经历,形象地阐述了将理论知识与实践结合的重要性。首先,文章采用了经典的叙事结构:开头引入背景, 中间详细描述事件过程,结尾总结感受。其次,作者使用了生动的语言,如具体的细节描写“sunlight focus on the glass”,“the wood start to blaze”等以及高级句式,如时间状语从句、宾语从句等增强了语言的表现力。总之,本文是一篇优秀的叙事作文,值得学习。
Passage 4 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次克服困难的经历
学游泳的难忘经历
As a middle school student, I've come across lots of difficulties, and among them, the experience of learning to swim stands out most vividlly.
I started learning to swim when I was in Grade 6. At first, I learned the
swimming movements very well. However, as I attempted to combine the
movements together, that was when my real trouble began.① Struggling to catch my breath, I found it difficult to move through the water, and it felt as ifmy arms and legs were no longer under my control.② instead of giving up halfway, I practiced the movements beside the pool and trained myself to hold my breath underwater. Then I gave it a second try and swam slowly. This time, everything seemed to fall into
place. I was able to move freely in the water.
①However 表转折, 引出自己遇到的困难;that was when... 起到了强调作用,表达高级;
②no longer under my control 的使用描写了当时作者的状态,让读者感同身受,表达形象生动;
名师点评
本文从结构上看,布局紧凑,开头引出话题,正文详细叙述遇到的困难及自己的解决方法,最后总结收获,条理清晰。值得称赞的是,作者的成功不仅是技能上的突破,更是心态上的转变,富有启发意义。语言方面,表达流畅自然、句式丰富,如运用 catch my breath, fall into place 等地道表达以及时间状语从句、表语从句等,提升了文章的语言质量。
Through the precious experience, what I have gained is that whenever we encounter
difficulties, we should try our best to seek out solutions and overcome them.③
③运用 what 引导的主语从句和 that 引导的表语从句,总结了学游泳经历中的
收获,升华主题。
Passage 5 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次校园活动的经历
丰富的校园生活
During my secondary school life, I had the opportunity to participate in a
variety of school activities, such as singing competitions and art festivals. However,
one event that truly left a lasting impression on me was the annual sports meeting.①
①用 However 表转折, 引出令自己印象深刻的运动会,衔接连贯;that 引导定语
从句,修饰 event;
The sports meeting was an exciting event, with various competitions taking place. Our
class participated in the relay race, With the efforts of the four runners, we managed to win
the championship in the race. Through this sports meeting, I not only learned valuable
lessons but also gained lots of joy. I firmly believe that such a sports meeting is highly
meaningful because it reminds us of the significance of teamwork and to pull together to
strive for goals.②
②用 because 引导原因状语从句,扩写自己认为运动会非常有意义的原因:团队合作、一起为目标奋斗,导向积极;
In conclusion, the sports meeting was one of the highlights of my school life. I'm looking
forward to participating in more activities in the future, which will offer new opportunities
for learning and personal development.③
③用 which 引导定语从句扩写参加活动的意义,体现了作者对自我提升的追求。
名师点评
文章结构清晰, 由引言、正文、结论三部分组成,条理分明地讲述了作者的经历和感悟。特别是在描述接力赛和团队努力离得冠军的部分,体现了团队合作的价值导向。此外,文章通过“ valuable lessons"和“lots of joy” 的叙述,强调了运动会不仅让作者获得了宝贵的人生续验,还获得了乐趣。语言上,词汇丰富、句型多样,有效运用了如“left a lasting impression on sb.”等生动的表达,使语言富有感染力。
Passage 6 类型:做法建议 角度:如何自我管理
如何进行自我管理
Self-management is of great importance to us. It is the key to leading a healthy and fulfilling life. However, I have struggled with managing myself effectively.
Although I maintain a habit of exercising every day, my poor time management has
led to some problems.①For example, l often stayed up late, which made me feel
tired the next day. So, it’s time for me to make some changes.
亮点赏析
①用Although 引导让步状语从句使前后形成对比,肯定自己好习惯的同时点
明自身存在问题为下文作铺垫;
Firstly, studying without1algoodIplanIisllike sailing without a compass.② So !'ll
make a detailed and practical plan that is suitable for me. Secondly, I’ll carry out my plan strictly. For instance, I'll go to bed before 11 p.m. to ensure enough
sleep.Thirdly,I believe that it's important to have an alarm clock because it can serve as a reminder for me to finish tasks on time.
I'm confident that if I stick to the methods mentioned above. I will be able to
manage myself better and achieve personal growth.③
③用 that 引导宾语从句,包含 if 引导的条件状语从句,表达了作者对提升自我管
②巧用比喻的修辞手法,将没有好计划的学习比作没有指南针的航行,强调制定
计划的重要性,表达地道,感染力强;
理的信心和期待,升华主题。
名师点评
文章结构清晰、分为现状分析、改善策略和坚定信念三个部分,展现了自我管理的重要性,并结合作者的亲身经历提出了改善方法,逻辑性强,过渡自然。特别值得称赞的是,作者用比喻的修辞手法生动地说明了做详细计划的必要性,增强了文章的可读性。同时,通过列举具体举措来说明如何执行计划,展现了解决问题的实际操作性。此外,文章用词准确, 句式丰富,短语 struggle with, maintain a habit of, be suitable for 等, 以及让步状语从句、定语从句、原因状语从句等句式的运用使人眼前一亮,值得学习。
Passage 7 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次烹饪的经历
难忘的烹饪体验
Labor is an essential part in our lives, which can help us stay healthy and
achieve self-worth.① During last winter vacation, I engaged in a variety of labor
activities.
亮点赏析
①开门见山,点明了劳动的重要性,which 引导定语从句补充说明劳动的好处;
One of my favorite hobbies is cooking, so I tried cooking at home. Although l failed
several times, I spared no effort to try it. I also decided to make a meal to express my
gratitude to my parents. When I finally succeeded in making a delicious dish, l was so
excited that l hugged my parents with tears and joy.② After we enjoyed the meal, I washed
the dishes and tidied up the table and kitchen. Looking at the clean and tidy dining hall, I
felt a great sense of achievement.
Therefore, I firmly believe that it is necessary for teenagers to develop the habit of
labor. By taking part in labor activities, we can truly understand the value of hard work and
learn to respect the fruits of others’ labor.③
②用 when 引导时间状语从句交代了事件发生的背景,并用 so... that... 表明作者喜极
③本句阐明了参加劳动的价值,首尾呼应、观点明确:同时鼓励读者积极参与劳动,
而泣的情绪,具有感染力;
具有启发性。
名师点评
文章结构紧凑,开篇阐述了劳动的重要性,正文详细叙述了自己在寒假期间所体验的劳动,结尾总结劳动的价值,层次分明、逻辑严密、主题明确。特别是正文通过细节描写,描述了作者在劳动过程中遇到的挑哉、坚持后的成就感,还表达了对父母的感恩,增加了文章的感染力。在语言方面、汇运用准确, 句式表达丰富,Although 引导的让步状语戏句、When 引导的时间状语双句等的运用增强了文章的可读性。
Passage 8 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍身边的小雷锋
李明——我身边的小雷锋
My friend Li Ming is kind and warm-hearted like Lei Feng. At school, he
always helps classmates actively. No matter who has trouble with homework, he is always there to help them. He can explain problems clearly, making it easier for
others to understand them.①
亮点赏析
①用现在分词making it easier...作结果状语,扩写李明耐心帮助同学的结果,
丰富文章细节;
Besides, whenever he meets old people on the bus, he always offers his seat to them at once. What's more, he enjoys cleaning the park with his friends on
weekends, because he believes it is important to do what he can to protect the
environment.② In addition, he volunteers at a local nursing home,where he tells
stories to the elderly and brightens their day. What a kind boy he is!
②用 because 引导原因状语从句扩写李明清扫公园的原因;保护环境,升华文章;
Li Ming is a good person who is willing to do good things to bring warmth to
people around him.③ Let's learn from him and make a positive impact on our society.
By doing so, we can improve ourselves and make the world a better place to live in.
③本句作为总结语,用 who 引导定语从句修饰李明:一个给周围人带来温暖的
好人,传递积极向上的价值观。
名师点评
本篇文章结构完整,层次晰,主题明确,通过介绍李明经常做的好事, 引导读者孤物乐于助人的美德。首段紧招主题,通过举例体现了李明乐于助人的优秀品质, 紧接着齐绍了李明在公共场合、环保行动以及志愿服务中的表现。此外,文章的语言自然流畅,用词准确,句型丰富,如用 have trouble with sth., offer one's
seat to sb., be willing to do sth.等短语, 以及让步状语从句、原因状语从句等,增强了文章的可读性,达到了预期的写作目的。
Passage 9 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍校园活动
阅读月,让书香飘逸
We had a lot of fun in our school during the School Reading Month. It took place from February 19th to March 28th, with the aim of promoting and spreading
classic Chinese culture among students.① These activities were divided into three
parts to engage students of different grades.
亮点赏析
①巧用短语 from...to... 明确了活动的时间范围,并用 with the aim of doing sth.
引出阅读活动的目的,表达多样;
Students in Grade 7 were required to tell stories, such as fairy tales or historical stories. They vividly shared fascinating tales of Chinese history. Students in Grade 8 had the task of acting stories to show their creativity, and their performances won
high praise from teachers.② Moreover, Grade 9 students drew lots of pictures about
the stories they recommended. Their colorful artworks were displayed on our school walls, greatly enhancing the cheerful atmosphere of the event.
②用 had the task of 引出活动内容,用词丰富;并用 and 连接的并列部分补充
了活动的结果,使内容充实;
③用 that 引导定语从句扩写对学校阅读月活动的感受强调活动的积极意义,立意深
In summary, the School Reading Month was a memorable experience that deepened
our understanding of China's rich culture.③ It truly left an unforgettable impression on us.
刻。
名师点评
本文结构清晰,句式多样。采用“ 总—分—总”结构,开头引出话题,正文详细介绍了不同年级的活动内容,结尾表达感受,逻辑清晰,层次分明。内容方面,活动安排针对性强,通过讲述故事、表演故事、为故事绘图三种形式,分别对应各年级学生的兴趣和能力。语言方面, 用词丰富、句式多样化,如被动语态、现在分词作结果状语、定语从句等,充分展示了作者较高的语言驾驭能力。
Passage 10 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次志愿的经历
在图书馆的志愿体验
A Day at the Library
During the May Day holiday, I had a great time joining in a special social
practice activity. On Wednesday, May 1st, I went to Shaanxi Library for volunteer work.
I did many tasks during my time there. Firstly, I helped to sort the books by topic, which can help readers find books quickly and explore
亮点赏析
①巧用 which 引导的定语从句说明将书籍按主题分类的目的和好处,表明这一
动作的有效性,增强说服力;
topics that interest them.① Secondly, I made many bookmarks to help readers keep
track of their progress in books. Then, to enhance reading experience of the readers, l reminded them to follow rules like not answering phones or eating in the library.
Furthermore, l offered guidance to readers on how to use the library resources
effectively.②
committed to continuing my volunteer work to spread the virtue of helping others.③
③巧用 be committed to doing sth.传达出作者帮助他人的坚定信念和决心,导向积极。
After completing all the work, l got a strong sense of pride and satisfaction when receiving
praise from others. As the saying goes, “ Roses in her hands, flavor in mine.” I am
②用短语 offer sth.to sb.介绍为读者提供有效使用资源的指导,展示了作者对读
者的关心和帮助,细节丰富;
名师点评
文章主题明确,条理清晰。本文详细叙述了作者在图书馆做志愿工作的一天,要点齐全, 内容充实。语言方面,如 sort the books by topic, help readers find books quickly and explore topics that interest them 的使用让读者能够直观感受到作者
工作的细致与周到。此外, 高级短语 keep track of, get a strong sense of..., be committed to doing sth.等的使用增强了文章的可读性。
Passage 11 类型:做法建议 角度:如何保持健康
保持健康的秘诀
How to Keep Healthy
Maintaining good health is crucial for everyone. Today, I am delighted to share with you my secret to staying healthy, which includes a balanced diet, enough sleep
and regular exercise.①
亮点赏析
①巧用 which 引导定语从句解释保持健康的秘诀,内容充实并为下文作铺垫;
wise.”③ What's more, regular physical exercise is the key to a better lifestyle. We
can take part in activities like playing basketball or volleyball regularly to build up our physical fitness.
②用 instead of doing sth.对比两种不同的选择,强调了选择健康饮食的重要性;
③谚语的使用强调了早睡早起对人的健康、财富和智慧的重要性,激励读者采取行动;
In brief, there is no doubt that happiness lies firstly in health.④ Therefore, it's high
time that we should take positive steps!
To start with, developing good eating habits is essential. We should eat
nutritious food and keep a balanced diet instead of eating junk food like French
fries.② Additionally, good living habits play a vital role in keeping healthy. Just as
the saying goes,“ Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and
④结尾段落提醒人们健康是幸福的基础,表达地道。
名师点评
文章结构完整,详略得当。首段提出了普遍认同的观点,为下文作铺垫;正文给出了具体的保持健康的建议,并用衔接词如 To start with, Additionally, What’s more, In brief 等使文章层次分明;結尾呼吁读者采取行动。语言方面,文中不乏高级短语及句式,如 be delighted to do sth., play a vital role in, take pan in 等, 以及定语从句等,使文章表达多样化,增强语言的地道性。
In study, I used to have difficulty in learning English. Luckily,I met Mr. Huang. He
taught me carefully, and he was always willing to help me. Moreover, he told me the
method to remember words in an easier way. Once I failed an exam, and Mr. Huang
noticed my sadness. He comforted me by saying, “ Don't worry about one failure, because
failure is the mother of success."② It was his words that greatly inspired me. With his
support, I cheered up and studied harder.
Passage 12 类型: 说明介绍 角度: 介绍鼓舞自己的人物
良师伴我行
Mr. Huang cheered me up
②because 引导原因状语从句解释不用担心一次失败的理由,并巧用谚语,表达地道;
Mr. Huang is my English teacher who has helped me a lot with my study and cheered
①who 引导定语从句,概括黄老师给予自己的帮助, 引出下文,主题明确;
me up when I was in trouble.①
名师点评
本文紧扣主题,语言流畅。内容方面,第一段开门见山, 点出了鼓舞自己的人物——黄老师,第二段叙述了黄老师是如何帮助并鼓励自己的,结尾段向黄老师表达感谢,结构完整且包含所有内容要点。语言方面,作者使用了丰富的亮点短语和句式,如 have
difficulty in doing sth., be willing to do sth., be grateful to sb.等, 以及定语从句、时间状语从句、强调句等,增强了文章的可读性,是一篇值得借鉴的佳作。
In short, he is such a good teacher that I am really cheered up by him. l am
truly grateful to Mr. Huang for his unwavering support and guidance.③
③用 such...that... 引导结果状语从句强调黄老师对自己的支持和鼓舞,并向老师
表达感谢,语言真挚。
Passage 13 类型:计划安排 角度:介绍学校研学活动的计划安排
中国文化活动
Dear Peter,
I am happy to learn that you will come to my school. The traditional Chinese culture activity will be held next week, and I'd like to share with you the detailed plans.
To begin with, we will gather in the hall and listen to poetry readings. This will
allow us to appreciate the beauty of rich Chinese culture.① After that, on the
亮点赏析①用 allow sb. to do sth.扩写聆听诗歌朗诵的好处,丰富文章内容;
Besides, we will definitely have the opportunity to taste and learn how to cook traditional food like dumplings. Furthermore, we will listen to some traditional
stories during the activity.
All in all, the activity promises to be both interesting and meaningful, and l am
confident that you will enjoy it.③ I'm eagerly looking forward to your visit.
playground, we will firstly learn to make paper-cuttings, which can not only deepen
our understanding of traditional Chinese art but also develop our creativity.②
②用 which 引导定语从句,并用 not only...but also...连接学习剪纸的两个好处,语
③先用 both...and... 总结活动的积极意义,再用 I am confident that 表达对笔友
的祝愿,句式多样。
义紧凑, 内容充实;
Li Hui
名师点评
文章整体结构清晰,主题明确。本文主要向笔友介绍了中国传统文化研学活动的计划安排。正文部分作者用动词短语 listen to poetry readings, learn to make paper-cuttings 等介绍了四项活动,并在一些活动后扩写了其具体内容或举办的意义,体现了中国传统文化丰富的内涵。此外,文章语言流畅、用词高级、句式丰富,如并列句、定语从句、宾语从句等的使用展现了作者深厚的语言功底
Passage 14 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次学校新技能的经历
学习新技能——踢足球
Learning a New Skill
Learning a new skill can indeed be challenging, but the benefits are worth it.①
I've always had a strong desire to learn something new to improve myself. Now, I would like to share my experience of learning to play football with you.
亮点赏析
①用形容词 challenging 和 worth 点明学习新技能具有挑战但有价值,使文章主
题明确;
Last term, I decided to join the school football team. At the very beginning, I
often got confused about the rules and had difficulty controlling the ball.② And I
often found myself exhausted after training. However, it was the unwavering
support of my teammates that kept me going. They patiently taught me many useful skills. Their kindness motivated me to push myself harder and strive for
improvement. With their help and my perseverance, gradually, I mastered skills and played football much better.
②用and 连接的并列短语描述了开始学踢足球时遇到的困难,为下文队员帮助
自己作铺垫;
In conclusion, trying this new skill helps me make some friends and be more patient. It is never too late to try something new, and we should seize the
opportunity to get improved.③
③巧用 It is never too late to do sth. 鼓励读者采取行动勇敢迈出尝试新事物的第
一步,号召力强。
名师点评
文章结构紧凑,内容充实。开头表明学习新技能虽有挑战但益处多,接着详细叙述了学习踢足球的经历,结尾总结收获,升华主题。同时,价值导向积极,如通过团队的支持与个人的坚持来克服困难。语言方面,用词准确、句式丰富,用 “exhausted” “patiently” “strive for” 等词(组)描述细节,形象地表达了作者在学习过程中的艰辛。此外,have a strong desire to do sth., motivate sb. to do sth. 等的使用也展现出小作者扎实的语言运用能力。
Passage 15 类型: 图表 角度:说明介绍图表内容并结合经历
坚持自我,自信前行
Deal with Bad Emotion
Our school did a survey among 500 students on the topic of "Deal with Bad Emotion". Here are the results. 60% of students cope with bad emotion by doing things that can make them happy. 20% of students choose to stop trying to be
perfect. 15% of students prefer not to judge themselves based on others' opinions.①
The remaining 5% of the students prefer other methods.
亮点赏析
① prefer not to do sth. 表示 “宁愿不做某事” ,巧妙转换图表信息,使语言表达
多样化;
Personally, I do not judge myself according to others' words. Once our school organized an English speaking competition on the topic of drama. Many of my
classmates wanted to present a fairy tale, but IIhad a unique idea connected with
Chinese culture.② Although some classmates disagreed, which made me
disappointed, I persisted in my idea and explained it in detail. Finally, we won the first prize.
② 巧用 but 将自己与他人的想法形成对比,突出自己坚持想法、处理问题的方
式,呼应主题;
This experience has taught me that when facing doubts, we should have confidence
in ourselves and not let ourselves fall into a state of sadness.③
③ 运用 that 引导的宾语从句及 when 引导的时间状语从句表达感悟,点明在被质疑时对自己有信心的重要性。
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名师点评
文章结构清晰,以应对负面情绪的主题调查为出发点,以第一人称叙述了作者在面对负面情绪时的个人应对方式,并通过一个亲身经历的故事来论证其观点,展现了自信与坚持的重要性。文章先是呈现调查结果,再通过个人经历深化主题,既有数据支撑,也有生动案例,使论点更有说服力。在语言运用上,巧用高级短语及丰富句式,如 “based on ,connect with” 等及 that 引导的宾语从句、when 引导的时间状语从句等,增强文章的可读性。
Passage 16 类型:做法建议 角度:如何增进友谊
朋友——我生命中的一束光
In our life, everyone needs friends. Friendship is of great importance to
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often take part in club activities or watch movies with my friends. On the weekend, we sometimes go for a picnic in the park to relax ourselves, which leaves all of us lasting memories.
②准确使用过渡句承上启下,使衔接自然;that 引导定语从句修饰 something;
everyone. In my opinion, it is like a bridge that connects people's hearts, allowing
us to share joys and sorrows with friends and support each other.①
①巧用比喻的手法阐述了友谊的重要性和价值,并用现在分词作状语扩写细节;
Friends can often do something that we are all interested in.② After class, I
亮点赏析
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How can we strengthen our friendships Firstly, we should help each other
when needed. Secondly, friendship isIlike1alflowerlthat needs to be nourished.③ We
can go out for dinner or travel together during holidays. Finally, trust is the most important aspect of any friendship. We should always be loyal to our friends.
③巧将友谊比作需要滋养的花朵,语言生动形象,且准确使用高级词汇 nourish;
As long as we can be honest with our friends, support each other, and show
mutual respect, our friendships will grow stronger over time.④
④用 As long as 引导条件状语从句总结了使友谊更牢固的秘诀,点明文章主题。
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名师点评
文章结构清晰,先是引入友谊的重要性,随后介绍自己与朋友的活动并给出维护和增进友谊的方法,最后强调了诚实、相互支持和尊重的重要性。文章通过具体的日常活动例子,使论述更具体化和生活化。语言上,表现力强,如使用了恰当的比喻,将友谊比作“连接人心的桥梁”和“ 需要滋养的花朵”,增强了文章的感染力,值得学习与借鉴。
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Passage 17 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次突破自我的经历
突破从尝试开始
Trying is a positive attitude towards life. You would never know what you can get until you have a try. When it comes to the challenging experience, my memory
brings me back to last year.①
亮点赏析
①用 When it comes to... 巧妙过渡,brings back to... 引出下文和主题相关的经
历,衔接自然;
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I used to be poor at Chinese. In order to improve my writing skills, I took
courage to take part in a writing competition, but I did not succeed. At that down moment, it was my teacher's support and encouragement that comforted me like a gentle breeze.② Not only did he provide me with some writing materials to learn, but he also offered to help revise my composition every week. Since then, I have
insisted on reading every day and kept writing to improve my skills. Finally, I stood out and won the prize in the next competition.
②巧用 it was... that... 强调句讲述自己转变的原因,并用比喻的修辞手法将老师的支持和鼓励比作微风,语言生动;
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名师点评
本文结构紧凑,主题明确,内容充实。开头引出话题,正文部分按照时间顺序,讲述了自己之前写作比赛经历失败,但在老师的支持和鼓励下最终提升写作能力且在下次比赛中获奖的经历。结尾段巧用谚语和祈使句鼓励读者勇于尝试,点明主题的同时富有感染力和鼓舞性。此外,整篇文章句式丰富,如强调句、宾语从句、祈使句等的使用为文章添彩。
From my experience, I have learned that we should never stop trying
something new and nothing is impossiblelfor1alwilling heart.③ Let's meet a
better version of ourselves by trying!
③ that 引导宾语从句,说明自己收获的同时鼓励读者勇于尝试、敢于坚持,立
意深刻。
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Passage 18 类型:观点看法 角度:探讨生活技能的重要性
生活技能助成长
Important life skills for teens
Though scoring good grades is important, teens should also develop other necessary life skills.
First of all, it's essential to learn cooking to become self-sufficient when our parents are not at home, thereby understanding the hardships of labor and being
grateful to our parents.① Secondly, it is of great importance to manage time well. If
we plan our time wisely, we can improve the efficiency of study and achieve our personal growth.
①用 it's essential to do sth. 点明学习厨艺技能的重要性,并用来分词短语
understanding the... , being grateful... 作状语表达收获,富有教育意义;
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On a personal note, swimming is a valuable life skill that is worth mastering,
because it's a self-rescue skill.② I plan to learn this skill by studying with a
professional coach and gradually overcoming my fear of water. Through my continuous efforts, I believe I will be able to swim freely like a fish.
In conclusion, every skill we learn and acquire helps to shape a more independent individual.
③ 结尾句言简意赅,用 it's never too late to do sth. 鼓励读者掌握生活必备技能,
② On a personal note 意为 “就个人而言” ,巧妙引出自己需要提升的技能,过
And it's never too late for us to master these life skills.③
号召性强。
渡流畅;
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名师点评
本文层次清晰,内容充实。从个人成长的多元需求出发,强调了掌握不同生活技能的重要性。开篇即提出中心论点,然后通过 First of all, Secondly, On a personal note 等过渡词分层展开论述,使得过渡自然。语言上,运用了丰富的句型句式,如运用 it's essential to do sth.、when 引导时间状语从句、if 引导条件状语从句、比喻句等,增强了文章的可读性。
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Passage 19 类型:观点看法 角度:探讨未来 AI
AI 与人类共创未来
AI in the Future Life
With the rapid development of technology, AI is playing an increasingly
significant role in our daily life.① But what will it be like in the future
亮点赏析
为下文介绍作铺垫;
From my point of view, AI will be used more widely in the coming days. For
instance, it will be able to treat serious diseases such as cancer. Besides, it will assist people in driving, thereby reducing the number of traffic accidents.
①with 结构作伴随状语作为背景信息,巧妙引出人工智能这一主题,开门见山,
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Imagine that in the future I can make use of AI. When I want to learn an
instrument like playing the guitar, I can get an AI tutor who is absolutely patient and
professional.② What's more, I won't need to worry about the expense any more.
②用 who 引导的定语从句将作者想象中的 AI 家教形象具体化,增强文章可读性;
In brief, I believe AI will make a great difference to our life in the future, but it
is important to remember that it cannot completely replace human beings.③
Therefore, we are supposed to use AI wisely to make it benefit people better.
③用 it is important to do sth. 结合宾语从句,传达了作者对人工智能的客观评
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价。
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名师点评
本文结构清晰,要点齐全,内容充实,通过具体实例(如 “For instance...”和 “ an AI tutor who is...” 等)增强说服力。另外,作者使用了连接词如 From my point of view, Besides, What’s more, In brief 等,使文章衔接自然。语言上,多样化的表达如 play an increasingly significant role in, make a great difference to及疑问句、被动语态、定语从句等增强了文章的可读性。
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Passage 20 类型:观点看法 角度:探讨尊师重教
尊敬师者,人之本
Good morning, everyone. Respecting teachers is one of the most important
traditional virtues in China. In my opinion, it is essential for us to uphold this value
because teachers are the guides who shape our minds and impart knowledge to us.①
Therefore, we should show respect to them through some specific actions.
①because 引导的原因状语从句中包含了 who 引导的定语从句,解释了尊
师重教的原因,句式高级,内容丰富;
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First of all, we'd better respect their teaching methods, which are their working
achievements. Additionally, we can express our appreciation for their hard work by offering them a bottle of hot water after class, writing them a blessing card or giving
them a small gift on Teachers' Day.② Last but not least, it's a good idea to follow
②巧用 by doing sth.有效列出三种通过日常小事向老师表达尊重和感谢的具体做法,用词丰富、内容充实;
rules and be honest without lying or making excuses for our mistakes.
In conclusion, respecting teachers is not a slogan, but should be reflected in our daily life. And it's our duty to show them our respect and take measures to create a harmonious
learning environment.③ Thanks foryour time.
③总结全文,用 it's one's duty to do sth. 阐述向老师表达尊重是每位同学的责任,语言精炼,用词准确,感染力强。
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名师点评
本文结构清晰,内容充实,逻辑连贯。作者用 In my opinion 连接已给出的开头说明自己的观点,用 Therefore, First of all 等将观点、例证和结论有条不紊地串联起来,使文章脉络清晰。语言方面,作者使用了高级短语使句式多样化,如 it is essential for sb. to do sth., it’s a good idea to do sth., it's one’s duty to do sth.等,是一篇不可多得的佳作。
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Thanks!
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2026中考英语二轮复习写作特训
13名校模考范文20篇名师分类点评
Passage 1 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍中国元素
从中国特色名胜——颐和园
Dear friends,
Welcome to China! China is a vast country with the most breathtaking views in the world.① It's my pleasure to give you an introduction of a worth-visiting place, the Summer Palace.
Located in Beijing, the capital of China, the Summer Palace is a magnificent landscape garden that was built during the Qing dyasty. In the center of it, there is a beautiful park with a clear lake which reflects the blue sky and bright sunshine.② Next to the lake, a huge tower stands on a hill. Moreover, many green trees are planted in the garden, making the Summer Palace a perfect place to escape the summer heat.
I recommend this place because it's really suitable for you to relax and enjoy yourselves. Through breathing the fresh air and rowing boats, you are sure to have a wonderful summer experience. Furthermore, the Summer Palace is steeped in history,allowing you to learn about the rich cultural heritage of China.③
Hope you'll enjoy yourselves here.
亮点赏析
①本句巧用形容词vast和breathtaking描述了中国的辽阔和令人叹为观止的景色,用词精准;
②which引导定语从句进一步点明湖水的清澈,同时为读者勾勒出具体风光,画面感强;
③点明颐和园在中国的历史地位,并用现在分词短语allowing...作状语扩写结果;其中is steeped in 用词巧妙,表达地道。
名师点评
本文语言生动,结构清晰,属于典型的“总—分—总”结构,开头直接引入主题:介绍颐和园正文分为两段,分别介绍了颐和园的主要景观和自己的推荐理由,结尾表达祝愿。内容充实,价值导向积极,推荐理由合理,强调了颐和园的历史文化价值和其作为避暑圣地的优点。语言方面,小作者使用了丰富的词汇和句型句式,如介词短语作状语、现在分词短语作状语、定语从句、原因状语从句等提升文章语言质量。总之,本文语言精炼、细节丰富,达到了介绍和推荐的目的。
Passage 2 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍一件有意义的物品
一件有意义的物品——珍贵日历
The Most Meaningful Object to Me
What is the most meaningful object to me ①lt must be a beautiful calendar that my friend Amy gave me this year.
Amy and I developed a close relationship six years ago. However, she planned to study abroad in March, and we would be separated inevitably. To my surprise,② before she left, she sent me a calendar that was decorated by herself.The calendar featured many messages of good wishes an pictures we took together. Furthermore, she circled a date in December when she would come back,③ and she said that if I missed her, I could recall the wonderful moments through the calendar.
All in all, this calendar carries the good times between us and serves as a source of strength. When l face difficulties, each page inspires me to keep pushing forward.④
亮点赏析
①以What引导的特殊疑问句引出话题,吸引读者兴趣的同
时引发读者思考,构思新颖;
②To my surprise 表示“令我吃惊的是,衔接前句,展现作者收到礼物时的惊喜;
③whe引导定语从句,通过对日历的细节展示,进一步说明日历的珍贵意义;
④结尾段落再次点明日历对自己的深刻意义--激励自己继续前进,升华主题
名师点评
本文结构清晰,内容充实,主题明确。从介绍日历的重要性,到描述朋友之间的情谊,再到日历如何成为自己力量的源泉,逻辑性强,情感表达真挚。特别值得称赞的是,小作者巧妙利用时间线索“before she left”和“when she would come back”等连接各部分,过渡自然流畅。另外,全文详略得当,语言准确,句式多样,如用时间状语从句、定语从句等丰富文章表达,全文展现出日历对自己的珍贵意义,深刻展现了友谊的力量和美好回忆的价值。
Passage 3 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次你运用所学解决实际问题的经历
用物理知识解决问题
It's important to put what we've learned into practice. Only by applying it in our life can we truly understand its value.
Last summer during a field camp, when my friends and I were about to cook some food for ourselves, we met a problem that we didn't have a lighter to make a fire. As we brainstormed solutions, it occurred to me that a convex lens can focus light and create heat.① Therefore, I quickly took out a magnifying glass and placed it in the sun. Seeing the sunlight focus on the glass and the wood start to blaze, all of us felt excited and we even called our physics teacher to share our success.②And at that moment, a sense of achievement welled up in my heart.
Through this experience, I have learned that knowledge is power when put into practice. In addition, it has encouraged me to actively use what I have learned to overcome difficulties.③
亮点赏析
①用As引导的时间状语从句和it occurred to me that...描述了当时的场景,同时引出利用知识解决问题的想法,逻辑连贯;
②通过动词(短语)focus on,blaze,felt excited,called等详细地描绘了实验成功的情录,细节丰富,具有画面感;
③用 In addition 与上文衔接自然。本句表明了小作者积极利用知识解决实际问题的态度。
名师点评
本文结构紧凑,内容生动。作者通过叙述自己当朋友的一次野外露营经历,形象地阐述了将理论知识与实践结合的重要性。首先,文章采用了经典的叙事结构:开头引入背景,中间详细描述事件过程,结尾总结感受。其次,作者使用了生动的语言,如具体的细节描写“sunlight focus on the glass”,“the wood start to blaze”等以及高级句式,如时间状语从句、宾语从句等增强了语言的表现力。总之,本文是一篇优秀的叙事作文,值得学习。
Passage 4 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次克服困难的经历
学游泳的难忘经历
As a middle school student, I've come across lots of difficulties, and among them, the experience of learning to swim stands out most vividlly.
I started learning to swim when I was in Grade 6. At first, I learned the swimming movements very well. However, as I attempted to combine the movements together, that was when my real trouble began.① Struggling to catch my breath, I found it difficult to move through the water, and it felt as if my arms and legs were no longer under my control.② instead of giving up halfway, I practiced the movements beside the pool and trained myself to hold my breath underwater. Then I gave it a second try and swam slowly. This time, everything seemed to fall into place. I was able to move freely in the water.
Through the precious experience, what I have gained is that whenever we encounter difficulties, we should try our best to seek out solutions and overcome them.③
亮点赏析
①However表转折,引出自己遇到的困难;that was when... 起到了强调作用,表达高级;
②no longer under my control 的使用描写了当时作者的状态,让读者感同身受,表达形象生动;
③运用 what 引导的主语从句和that引导的表语从句,总结了学游泳经历中的收获,升华主题。名师点评
本文从结构上看,布局紧凑,开头引出话题,正文详细叙述遇到的困难及自己的解决方法,最后总结收获,条理清晰。值得称赞的是,作者的成功不仅是技能上的突破,更是心态上的转变,富有启发意义。语言方面,表达流畅自然、句式丰富,如运用 catch my breath, fall into place等地道表达以及时间状语从句、表语从句等,提升了文章的语言质量。
Passage 5 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次校园活动的经历
丰富的校园生活
During my secondary school life, I had the opportunity to participate in a variety of school activities, such as singing competitions and art festivals. However, one event that truly left a lasting impression on me was the annual sports meeting.①
The sports meeting was an exciting event, with various competitions taking place. Our class participated in the relay race, With the efforts of the four runners, we managed to win the championship in the race. Through this sports meeting, I not only learned valuable lessons but also gained lots of joy. I firmly believe that such a sports meeting is highly meaningful because it reminds us of the significance of teamwork and to
亮点赏析
①用 However 表转折,引出令自己印象深刻的运动会,衔接连贯;that引导定语从句,修饰 event;
②用 because 引导原因状语从句,扩写自己认为运动会非常有意义的原因:团队合作、一起为目标奋斗,导向积极;
pull together to strive for goals.②
In conclusion, the sports meeting was one of the highlights of my school life. I'm looking forward to participating in more activities in the future, which will offer new opportunities for learning and personal development.③
③用 which 引导定语从句扩写参加活动的意义,体现了作者对自我提升的追求。
名师点评
文章结构清晰,由引言、正文、结论三部分组成,条理分明地讲述了作者的经历和感悟。特别是在描述接力赛和团队努力离得冠军的部分,体现了团队合作的价值导向。此外,文章通过“ valuable lessons"和“lots of joy”的叙述,强调了运动会不仅让作者获得了宝贵的人生续验,还获得了乐趣。语言上,词汇丰富、句型多样,有效运用了如“left a lasting impression on sb.”等生动的表达,使语言富有感染力。
Passage 6 类型:做法建议 角度:如何自我管理
如何进行自我管理
Self-management is of great importance to us. It is the key to leading a healthy and fulfilling life. However, I have struggled with managing myself effectively. Although I maintain a habit of exercising every day, my poor time management has led to some problems.①For example, l often stayed up late, which made me feel tired the next day. So, it’s time for me to make some changes.
Firstly, studying without a good plan is like sailing without a compass.② So !'ll make a detailed and practical plan that is suitable for me. Secondly, I’ll carry out my plan strictly. For instance, I'll go to bed before 11 p.m. to ensure enough sleep.Thirdly,I believe that it's important to have an alarm clock because it can serve as a reminder for me to finish tasks on time.
I'm confident that if I stick to the methods mentioned above. I will be able to manage myself better and achieve personal growth.③
亮点赏析
①用Although 引导让步状语从句使前后形成对比,肯定自己好习惯的同时点明自身存在问题为下文作铺垫;
②巧用比喻的修辞手法,将没有好计划的学习比作没有指南针的航行,强调制定计划的重要性,表达地道,感染力强;
③用that 引导宾语从句,包含if引导的条件状语从句,表达了作者对提升自我管理的信心和期待,升华主题。
名师点评
文章结构清晰、分为现状分析、改善策略和坚定信念三个部分,展现了自我管理的重要性,并结合作者的亲身经历提出了改善方法,逻辑性强,过渡自然。特别值得称赞的是,作者用比喻的修辞手法生动地说明了做详细计划的必要性,增强了文章的可读性。同时,通过列举具体举措来说明如何执行计划,展现了解决问题的实际操作性。此外,文章用词准确,句式丰富,短语 struggle with, maintain a habit of, be suitable for等,以及让步状语从句、定语从句、原因状语从句等句式的运用使人眼前一亮,值得学习。
Passage 7 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次烹饪的经历
难忘的烹饪体验
Labor is an essential part in our lives, which can help us stay healthy and achieve self-worth.① During last winter vacation, I engaged in a variety of labor activities.
One of my favorite hobbies is cooking, so I tried cooking at home. Although l failed several times, I spared no effort to try it. I also decided to make a meal to express my gratitude to my parents. When I finally succeeded in making a delicious dish, l was so excited that l hugged my parents with tears and joy.② After we enjoyed the meal, I washed the dishes and tidied up the table and kitchen. Looking at the clean and tidy dining hall, I felt a great sense of achievement.
Therefore, I firmly believe that it is necessary for teenagers to develop the habit of labor. By taking part in labor activities, we can truly understand the value of hard work and learn to respect the fruits of others’ labor.③
亮点赏析
①开门见山,点明了劳动的重要性,which引导定语从句补充说明劳动的好处;
②用 when 引导时间状语从句交代了事件发生的背景,并用so... that... 表明作者喜极而泣的情绪,具有感染力;
③本句阐明了参加劳动的价值,首尾呼应、观点明确:同时鼓励读者积极参与劳动,具有启发性。
名师点评
文章结构紧凑,开篇阐述了劳动的重要性,正文详细叙述了自己在寒假期间所体验的劳动,结尾总结劳动的价值,层次分明、逻辑严密、主题明确。特别是正文通过细节描写,描述了作者在劳动过程中遇到的挑哉、坚持后的成就感,还表达了对父母的感恩,增加了文章的感染力。在语言方面、汇运用准确,句式表达丰富,Although 引导的让步状语戏句、When引导的时间状语双句等的运用增强了文章的可读性。
Passage 8 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍身边的小雷锋
李明——我身边的小雷锋
My friend Li Ming is kind and warm-hearted like Lei Feng. At school, he always helps classmates actively. No matter who has trouble with homework, he is always there to help them. He can explain problems clearly, making it easier for others to understand them.①
Besides, whenever he meets old people on the bus, he always offers his seat to them at once. What's more, he enjoys cleaning the park with his friends on weekends, because he believes it is important to do what he can to protect the environment.② In addition, he volunteers at a local nursing home,where he tells stories to the elderly and brightens their day. What a kind boy he is!
Li Ming is a good person who is willing to do good things to bring warmth to people around him.③ Let's learn from him and make a positive impact on our society. By doing so, we can improve ourselves and make
亮点赏析
①用现在分词making it easier...作结果状语,扩写李明耐心帮助同学的结果,丰富文章细节;
②用because引导原因状语从句扩写李明清扫公园的原因;保护环境,升华文章;
③本句作为总结语,用who引导定语从句修饰李明:一个给周围人带来温暖的好人,传递积极向上的价值观。the world a better place to live in.
名师点评
本篇文章结构完整,层次晰,主题明确,通过介绍李明经常做的好事,引导读者孤物乐于助人的美德。首段紧招主题,通过举例体现了李明乐于助人的优秀品质,紧接着齐绍了李明在公共场合、环保行动以及志愿服务中的表现。此外,文章的语言自然流畅,用词准确,句型丰富,如用 have trouble with sth., offer one's seat to sb., be willing to do sth.等短语,以及让步状语从句、原因状语从句等,增强了文章的可读性,达到了预期的写作目的。
Passage 9 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍校园活动
阅读月,让书香飘逸
We had a lot of fun in our school during the School Reading Month. It took place from February 19th to March 28th, with the aim of promoting and spreading classic Chinese culture among students.① These activities were divided into three parts to engage students of different grades.
Students in Grade 7 were required to tell stories, such as fairy tales or historical stories. They vividly shared fascinating tales of Chinese history. Students in Grade 8 had the task of acting stories to show their creativity, and their performances won high praise from teachers.② Moreover, Grade 9 students drew lots of pictures about the stories they recommended. Their colorful artworks were displayed on our school walls, greatly enhancing the cheerful atmosphere of the event.
In summary, the School Reading Month was a memorable experience that deepened our understanding of China's rich culture.③ It truly left an unforgettable impression on us.
亮点赏析
①巧用短语 from...to... 明确了活动的时间范围,并用with the aim of doing sth.引出阅读活动的目的,表达多样;
②用 had the task of引出活动内容,用词丰富;并用 and 连接的并列部分补充了活动的结果,使内容充实;
③用 that 引导定语从句扩写对学校阅读月活动的感受强调活动的积极意义,立意深刻。
名师点评
本文结构清晰,句式多样。采用“总—分—总”结构,开头引出话题,正文详细介绍了不同年级的活动内容,结尾表达感受,逻辑清晰,层次分明。内容方面,活动安排针对性强,通过讲述故事、表演故事、为故事绘图三种形式,分别对应各年级学生的兴趣和能力。语言方面,用词丰富、句式多样化,如被动语态、现在分词作结果状语、定语从句等,充分展示了作者较高的语言驾驭能力。
Passage 10 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次志愿的经历
在图书馆的志愿体验
A Day at the Library
During the May Day holiday, I had a great time joining in a special social practice activity. On Wednesday, May 1st, I went to Shaanxi Library for volunteer work.
I did many tasks during my time there. Firstly, I helped to sort the books by topic, which can help readers find books quickly and explore
亮点赏析
①巧用 which引导的定语从句说明将书籍按主题分类的目的和好处,表明这一动作的有效性,增强说服力;
topics that interest them.① Secondly, I made many bookmarks to help readers keep track of their progress in books. Then, to enhance reading experience of the readers, l reminded them to follow rules like not answering phones or eating in the library. Furthermore, l offered guidance to readers on how to use the library resources effectively.②
After completing all the work, l got a strong sense of pride and satisfaction when receiving praise from others. As the saying goes, “ Roses in her hands, flavor in mine.” I am committed to continuing my volunteer work to spread the virtue of helping others.③
②用短语 offer sth.to sb.介绍为读者提供有效使用资源的指导,展示了作者对读者的关心和帮助,细节丰富;
③巧用be committed to doing sth.传达出作者帮助他人的坚定信念和决心,导向积极。
名师点评
文章主题明确,条理清晰。本文详细叙述了作者在图书馆做志愿工作的一天,要点齐全,内容充实。语言方面,如 sort the books by topic, help readers find books quickly and explore topics that interest them的使用让读者能够直观感受到作者工作的细致与周到。此外,高级短语 keep track of, get a strong sense of..., be committed to doing sth.等的使用增强了文章的可读性。
Passage 11 类型:做法建议 角度:如何保持健康
保持健康的秘诀
How to Keep Healthy
Maintaining good health is crucial for everyone. Today, I am delighted to share with you my secret to staying healthy, which includes a balanced diet, enough sleep and regular exercise.①
To start with, developing good eating habits is essential. We should eat nutritious food and keep a balanced diet instead of eating junk food like French fries.② Additionally, good living habits play a vital role in keeping healthy. Just as the saying goes,“ Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”③ What's more, regular physical exercise is the key to a better lifestyle. We can take part in activities like playing basketball or volleyball regularly to build up our physical fitness.
In brief, there is no doubt that happiness lies firstly in health.④ Therefore, it's high time that we should take positive steps!
亮点赏析
①巧用 which 引导定语从句解释保持健康的秘诀,内容充实并为下文作铺垫;
②用 instead of doing sth.对比两种不同的选择,强调了选择健康饮食的重要性;
③谚语的使用强调了早睡早起对人的健康、财富和智慧的重要性,激励读者采取行动;
④结尾段落提醒人们健康是幸福的基础,表达地道。
名师点评
文章结构完整,详略得当。首段提出了普遍认同的观点,为下文作铺垫;正文给出了具体的保持健康的建议,并用衔接词如 To start with, Additionally, What’s more, In brief 等使文章层次分明;結尾呼吁读者采取行动。语言方面,文中不乏高级短语及句式,如 be delighted to do sth., play a vital role in, take pan in等,以及定语从句等,使文章表达多样化,增强语言的地道性。
Passage 12 类型:说明介绍 角度:介绍鼓舞自己的人物
良师伴我行
Mr. Huang cheered me up
Mr. Huang is my English teacher who has helped me a lot with my study and cheered me up when I was in trouble.①
In study, I used to have difficulty in learning English. Luckily,I met Mr. Huang. He taught me carefully, and he was always willing to help me. Moreover, he told me the method to remember words in an easier way. Once I failed an exam, and Mr. Huang noticed my sadness. He comforted me by saying, “ Don't worry about one failure, because failure is the mother of success."② It was his words that greatly inspired me. With his support, I cheered up and studied harder.
In short, he is such a good teacher that I am really cheered up by him. l am truly grateful to Mr. Huang for his unwavering support and guidance.③
亮点赏析
①who引导定语从句,概括黄老师给予自己的帮助,引出下文,主题明确;
②because引导原因状语从句解释不用担心一次失败的理由,并巧用谚语,表达地道;
③用such...that...引导结果状语从句强调黄老师对自己的支持和鼓舞,并向老师表达感谢,语言真挚。
名师点评
本文紧扣主题,语言流畅。内容方面,第一段开门见山,点出了鼓舞自己的人物——黄老师,第二段叙述了黄老师是如何帮助并鼓励自己的,结尾段向黄老师表达感谢,结构完整且包含所有内容要点。语言方面,作者使用了丰富的亮点短语和句式,如have difficulty in doing sth., be willing to do sth., be grateful to sb.等,以及定语从句、时间状语从句、强调句等,增强了文章的可读性,是一篇值得借鉴的佳作。
Passage 13 类型:计划安排 角度:介绍学校研学活动的计划安排
中国文化活动
Dear Peter,
I am happy to learn that you will come to my school. The traditional Chinese culture activity will be held next week, and I'd like to share with you the detailed plans.
To begin with, we will gather in the hall and listen to poetry readings. This will allow us to appreciate the beauty of rich Chinese culture.① After that, on the playground, we will firstly learn to make paper-cuttings, which can not only deepen our understanding of traditional Chinese art but also develop our creativity.② Besides, we will definitely have the opportunity to taste and learn how to cook traditional food like dumplings. Furthermore, we will listen to some traditional stories during the activity.
All in all, the activity promises to be both interesting and meaningful, and l am confident that you will enjoy it.③ I'm eagerly looking forward to your visit.
亮点赏析
①用allow sb. to do sth.扩写聆听诗歌朗诵的好处,丰富文章内容;
②用 which引导定语从句,并用not only...but also...连接学习剪纸的两个好处,语义紧凑,内容充实;
③先用 both...and... 总结活动的积极意义,再用I am confident that表达对笔友的祝愿,句式多样。
Li Hui
名师点评
文章整体结构清晰,主题明确。本文主要向笔友介绍了中国传统文化研学活动的计划安排。正文部分作者用动词短语listen to poetry readings, learn to make paper-cuttings 等介绍了四项活动,并在一些活动后扩写了其具体内容或举办的意义,体现了中国传统文化丰富的内涵。此外,文章语言流畅、用词高级、句式丰富,如并列句、定语从句、宾语从句等的使用展现了作者深厚的语言功底
Passage 14 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次学校新技能的经历
学习新技能——踢足球
Learning a New Skill
Learning a new skill can indeed be challenging, but the benefits are worth it.① I've always had a strong desire to learn something new to improve myself. Now, I would like to share my experience of learning to play football with you.
Last term, I decided to join the school football team. At the very beginning, I often got confused about the rules and had difficulty controlling the ball.② And I often found myself exhausted after training. However, it was the unwavering support of my teammates that kept me going. They patiently taught me many useful skills. Their kindness motivated me to push myself harder and strive for improvement. With their help and my perseverance, gradually, I mastered skills and played football much better.
In conclusion, trying this new skill helps me make some friends and be more patient. It is never too late to try something new, and we should seize the opportunity to get improved.③
亮点赏析
①用形容词 challenging 和 worth 点明学习新技能具有挑战但有价值,使文章主题明确;
②用 and 连接的并列短语描述了开始学踢足球时遇到的困难,为下文队员帮助自己作铺垫;
③巧用 It is never too late to do sth. 鼓励读者采取行动勇敢迈出尝试新事物的第一步,号召力强。
名师点评
文章结构紧凑,内容充实。开头表明学习新技能虽有挑战但益处多,接着详细叙述了学习踢足球的经历,结尾总结收获,升华主题。同时,价值导向积极,如通过团队的支持与个人的坚持来克服困难。语言方面,用词准确、句式丰富,用 “exhausted” “patiently” “strive for” 等词(组)描述细节,形象地表达了作者在学习过程中的艰辛。此外,have a strong desire to do sth., motivate sb. to do sth. 等的使用也展现出小作者扎实的语言运用能力。
Passage 15 类型:图表 角度:说明介绍图表内容并结合经历
坚持自我,自信前行
Deal with Bad Emotion
Our school did a survey among 500 students on the topic of "Deal with Bad Emotion". Here are the results. 60% of students cope with bad emotion by doing things that can make them happy. 20% of students choose to stop trying to be perfect. 15% of students prefer not to judge
亮点赏析
① prefer not to do sth. 表示 “宁愿不做某事”,巧妙转换图表信息,使语言表达多样化;
themselves based on others' opinions.① The remaining 5% of the students prefer other methods.
Personally, I do not judge myself according to others' words. Once our school organized an English speaking competition on the topic of drama. Many of my classmates wanted to present a fairy tale, but I had a unique idea connected with Chinese culture.② Although some classmates disagreed, which made me disappointed, I persisted in my idea and explained it in detail. Finally, we won the first prize.
This experience has taught me that when facing doubts, we should have confidence in ourselves and not let ourselves fall into a state of sadness.③
② 巧用 but 将自己与他人的想法形成对比,突出自己坚持想法、处理问题的方式,呼应主题;
③ 运用 that 引导的宾语从句及 when 引导的时间状语从句表达感悟,点明在被质疑时对自己有信心的重要性。名师点评
文章结构清晰,以应对负面情绪的主题调查为出发点,以第一人称叙述了作者在面对负面情绪时的个人应对方式,并通过一个亲身经历的故事来论证其观点,展现了自信与坚持的重要性。文章先是呈现调查结果,再通过个人经历深化主题,既有数据支撑,也有生动案例,使论点更有说服力。在语言运用上,巧用高级短语及丰富句式,如 “based on,connect with” 等及 that 引导的宾语从句、when 引导的时间状语从句等,增强文章的可读性。
Passage 16 类型:做法建议 角度:如何增进友谊
朋友——我生命中的一束光
In our life, everyone needs friends. Friendship is of great importance to everyone. In my opinion, it is like a bridge that connects people's hearts, allowing us to share joys and sorrows with friends and support each other.①
Friends can often do something that we are all interested in.② After class, I often take part in club activities or watch movies with my friends. On the weekend, we sometimes go for a picnic in the park to relax ourselves, which leaves all of us lasting memories.
How can we strengthen our friendships Firstly, we should help each other when needed. Secondly, friendship is like a flower that needs to be nourished.③ We can go out for dinner or travel together during holidays. Finally, trust is the most important aspect of any friendship. We should always be loyal to our friends.
As long as we can be honest with our friends, support each other, and show mutual respect, our friendships will grow stronger over time.④
亮点赏析
①巧用比喻的手法阐述了友谊的重要性和价值,并用现在分词作状语扩写细节;
②准确使用过渡句承上启下,使衔接自然;that 引导定语从句修饰something;
③巧将友谊比作需要滋养的花朵,语言生动形象,且准确使用高级词汇nourish;
④用 As long as 引导条件状语从句总结了使友谊更牢固的秘诀,点明文章主题。
名师点评
文章结构清晰,先是引入友谊的重要性,随后介绍自己与朋友的活动并给出维护和增进友谊的方法,最后强调了诚实、相互支持和尊重的重要性。文章通过具体的日常活动例子,使论述更具体化和生活化。语言上,表现力强,如使用了恰当的比喻,将友谊比作“连接人心的桥梁”和“需要滋养的花朵”,增强了文章的感染力,值得学习与借鉴。
Passage 17 类型:经历及感受 角度:分享一次突破自我的经历
突破从尝试开始
Trying is a positive attitude towards life. You would never know what you can get until you have a try. When it comes to the challenging experience, my memory brings me back to last year.①
I used to be poor at Chinese. In order to improve my writing skills, I took courage to take part in a writing competition, but I did not succeed. At that down moment, it was my teacher's support and encouragement that comforted me like a gentle breeze.② Not only did he provide me with some writing materials to learn, but he also offered to help revise my composition every week. Since then, I have insisted on reading every day and kept writing to improve my skills. Finally, I stood out and won the prize in the next competition.
From my experience, I have learned that we should never stop trying something new and nothing is impossible for a willing heart.③ Let's meet a
better version of ourselves by trying!
亮点赏析
①用When it comes to... 巧妙过渡,brings back to... 引出下文和主题相关的经历,衔接自然;
②巧用 it was... that... 强调句讲述自己转变的原因,并用比喻的修辞手法将老师的支持和鼓励比作微风,语言生动;
③ that 引导宾语从句,说明自己收获的同时鼓励读者勇于尝试、敢于坚持,立意深刻。
名师点评
本文结构紧凑,主题明确,内容充实。开头引出话题,正文部分按照时间顺序,讲述了自己之前写作比赛经历失败,但在老师的支持和鼓励下最终提升写作能力且在下次比赛中获奖的经历。结尾段巧用谚语和祈使句鼓励读者勇于尝试,点明主题的同时富有感染力和鼓舞性。此外,整篇文章句式丰富,如强调句、宾语从句、祈使句等的使用为文章添彩。
Passage 18 类型:观点看法 角度:探讨生活技能的重要性
生活技能助成长
Important life skills for teens
Though scoring good grades is important, teens should also develop other necessary life skills.
First of all, it's essential to learn cooking to become self-sufficient when our parents are not at home, thereby understanding the hardships of labor and being grateful to our parents.① Secondly, it is of great importance to manage time well. If we plan our time wisely, we can improve the efficiency of study and achieve our personal growth.
On a personal note, swimming is a valuable life skill that is worth mastering, because it's a self-rescue skill.② I plan to learn this skill by studying with a professional coach and gradually overcoming my fear of water. Through my continuous efforts, I believe I will be able to swim freely like a fish.
In conclusion, every skill we learn and acquire helps to shape a more
亮点赏析
①用 it's essential to do sth. 点明学习厨艺技能的重要性,并用来分词短语 understanding the... , being grateful... 作状语表达收获,富有教育意义;
② On a personal note 意为 “就个人而言”,巧妙引出自己需要提升的技能,过渡流畅;
③ 结尾句言简意赅,用 it's never too late to do sth. 鼓励读者掌握生活必备技能,号召性强。
independent individual. And it's never too late for us to master these life skills.③
名师点评
本文层次清晰,内容充实。从个人成长的多元需求出发,强调了掌握不同生活技能的重要性。开篇即提出中心论点,然后通过 First of all, Secondly, On a personal note等过渡词分层展开论述,使得过渡自然。语言上,运用了丰富的句型句式,如运用 it's essential to do sth.、when 引导时间状语从句、if 引导条件状语从句、比喻句等,增强了文章的可读性。
Passage 19 类型:观点看法 角度:探讨未来AI
AI 与人类共创未来
AI in the Future Life
With the rapid development of technology, AI is playing an increasingly significant role in our daily life.① But what will it be like in the future
From my point of view, AI will be used more widely in the coming days. For instance, it will be able to treat serious diseases such as cancer. Besides, it will assist people in driving, thereby reducing the number of traffic accidents.
Imagine that in the future I can make use of AI. When I want to learn an instrument like playing the guitar, I can get an AI tutor who is absolutely patient and professional.② What's more, I won't need to worry about the expense any more.
In brief, I believe AI will make a great difference to our life in the future, but it is important to remember that it cannot completely replace human beings.③ Therefore, we are supposed to use AI wisely to make it benefit people better.
亮点赏析
①with 结构作伴随状语作为背景信息,巧妙引出人工智能这一主题,开门见山,为下文介绍作铺垫;
②用 who 引导的定语从句将作者想象中的 AI 家教形象具体化,增强文章可读性;
③用 it is important to do sth. 结合宾语从句,传达了作者对人工智能的客观评价。
名师点评
本文结构清晰,要点齐全,内容充实,通过具体实例(如 “For instance...” 和 “ an AI tutor who is...” 等)增强说服力。另外,作者使用了连接词如 From my point of view, Besides, What’s more, In brief等,使文章衔接自然。语言上,多样化的表达如 play an increasingly significant role in, make a great difference to及疑问句、被动语态、定语从句等增强了文章的可读性。
Passage 20 类型:观点看法 角度:探讨尊师重教
尊敬师者,人之本
Good morning, everyone. Respecting teachers is one of the most important traditional virtues in China. In my opinion, it is essential for us to uphold this value because teachers are the guides who shape our minds and impart knowledge to us.① Therefore, we should show respect to them through some specific actions.
First of all, we'd better respect their teaching methods, which are their working achievements. Additionally, we can express our appreciation for their hard work by offering them a bottle of hot water after class, writing them a blessing card or giving them a small gift on Teachers' Day.② Last but not least, it's a good idea to follow rules and be honest without lying or making excuses for our mistakes.
In conclusion, respecting teachers is not a slogan, but should be reflected in our daily life. And it's our duty to show them our respect and take measures to create a harmonious learning environment.③ Thanks for your time.
亮点赏析
①because引导的原因状语从句中包含了who引导的定语从句,解释了尊师重教的原因,句式高级,内容丰富;
②巧用by doing sth.有效列出三种通过日常小事向老师表达尊重和感谢的具体做法,用词丰富、内容充实;
③总结全文,用it's one's duty to do sth. 阐述向老师表达尊重是每位同学的责任,语言精炼,用词准确,感染力强。
名师点评
本文结构清晰,内容充实,逻辑连贯。作者用 In my opinion 连接已给出的开头说明自己的观点,用 Therefore, First of all 等将观点、例证和结论有条不紊地串联起来,使文章脉络清晰。语言方面,作者使用了高级短语使句式多样化,如 it is essential for sb. to do sth., it’s a good idea to do sth., it's one’s duty to do sth.等,是一篇不可多得的佳作。
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