(共24张PPT)
专项1 从已知推未知,巧架故事链或情节链
语言基础板块 读后续写提分策略
导 言
1.高考阅卷分档作文
全国卷的读后续写的形式为:提供一段350词以内的语言材料,要求考生依据该材料内容、所给两段的开头语写一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接、情节合理、完整的150词左右的短文。优秀作文(22—25分)要有新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性;使用多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达流畅;自然有效地使用段落间、语句间衔接手段,全文结构清晰,意义连贯。
以作者的阅卷体验来看,老师在给作文评分时主要关注“四维一体”:(1)续写与原文的吻合度;(2)衔接与逻辑;(3)内容的重点(围绕主题);(4)词汇与语法。
2.续写中存在的主要问题
在故事链或情节链的架构上:(1)未能正确解码原文信息,造成续写与原文内容脱离;(2)未能正确理解段首句,造成段内衔接比较糟糕;(3)结尾未能挖掘伏笔或照应原文开头,未能升华主题。
在续写的语言面貌上:(1)语言准确性上常有时态、语态乱用和词块误用等错误;(2)句式多为短句,句式单一,不能灵活运用复合句、非谓语和特殊句型;(3)缺少心理、动作等细节描写,不能准确使用相关形容词或副词为文章添彩;(4)用了所谓的“高大上”套句,但由于一知半解,使用场合错误,适得其反。
其他的一些小问题:(1)语言流畅度不高,过于浅显、幼稚;句与句之间的逻辑衔接生硬;(2)书写潦草,卷面涂改明显,影响卷面的整洁和美观。
针对上述写作问题,我们来摸索升级故事情节与语言的技巧。
1.情节如何架构
记叙文类的续写文本一般有个“叙事序列”,即冲突、行动和解决。冲突是故事的开端与布局,行动是故事的发展与高潮,而解决是故事的结尾。一般给出段首句的两段续写,主要让学生根据故事的冲突与高潮,构思故事可能的结尾。要写出一篇有质量的续写,考生要读透原文:(1)理清和把握节奏,梳理情节与情感; (2)识别和营造冲突;捕捉和回应伏笔。在推理两段续写的可能情节时,一般第一段侧重对文本冲突的反应与尝试,并做好与第二段的衔接;第二段则侧重故事的转折与解决,并对主题进行升华。
纵观多种主题的记叙文续写,如助人类、成长类、比赛类等,在建构故事链上,我们基本上可以参考以下步骤:
例如:
(1)助人类建构故事链:
①描述困难(消极情绪+困难处境)
②助人过程(想到办法+积极情绪+动作链)
③欢喜结局(积极情绪+感悟+升华)
(2)亲情类建构故事链:
①冲突构造(误会、犯错等+消极情绪)
②冲突化解(解释、道歉、弥补、回忆等+积极情绪)
③亲情升华(积极情绪+诚实、珍惜、感恩等)
2.细节如何展开
在读原文时,我们要深入挖掘原文信息要点,摸清主旨内涵;在探求逻辑关系的同时,梳理续文的思维脉络。通过关注主人公的情感走向,形成合理的发展;力求首尾呼应,确保前后一致。读透原文,尤其要关注原文设置的伏笔,即原文中出现的人物或时间,找出提示或暗示,以求“有伏必应”,前后呼应。此外,细节展开的常见手法有:
(1)空间转化思维
在写作时,如果觉得主人公拓展情节的活动空间不足,故事链不好展开,这时就要“以心理空间弥补物理空间的不足”,即拓展主人公的心理描写,以弥补情节的不足,如描述自己参加演讲比赛时,所给段首句是At last, it came to my turn.,这时我们就可以用描写“紧张”心理的句子来扩充情节,如I nervously went to the front of the classroom, with my heart beating wildly and the paper grabbed tightly.Facing the whole class, I was numb with fear.。
(2)以景色特征来拓展情节
如“我”妹妹Mattie 在父亲不知晓的情况下,悄悄跟着父亲去钓鱼,结果走丢了。我们出去找她。所给段首句是In the lane we found Mattie's boot prints following Dad's big ones.,因此这段的内容就是写我们找妹妹的过程,情节比较受限,那我们就用环境描写来展开,如Chilly winds whipped our face but we felt no pain.We called in trembling voices: “Mattie, where are you?” Her name echoed throughout the woods, but the only answer was the rustling of the wind in the trees.。
(3)以细节解释来拓展情节
如一篇主题为“感恩”的演讲稿中有一个这样的语境:当“我”问Arizona她最感恩的人是谁时,Arizona的回答是“My grandma”,这时我们就可以通过细节解释来展开情节,如She told me she was grateful to her grandma, who took great pains to bring her up despite poor health.From her excited look and gentle tone, I could feel her deep gratitude to her grandma.。
(4)通过回忆、反思、忏悔等来填充情节
如Jane 与Tom吵架,结果Jane在树林里走丢了。Jane一个人很无助,这时我们就可以着手回忆她与Tom在一起的开心时光,如All the fantastic memory crowded in and she couldn't help crying. “Hadn't I quarreled with Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I wouldn't be trapped in this awful place, confronted with the danger of dying,” she regretted with endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
3.主题如何升华
一个故事的结尾,随着故事的结束,往往会对主题进行总结与升华。通常的形式有:
(1)首尾呼应类
①如与好忘事的妈妈一起去旅游的故事。文章的开头是这么写的:I had an interesting childhood.It was filled with surprise and amusements, all because of my mother—loving, sweet, yet absent-minded and forgetful.(我有一个有趣的童年,充满了惊喜和乐趣,都是因为我的
妈妈——慈爱、可爱,却又心不在焉和健忘。)那么续写结尾的时候可以用首尾呼应的写作手法来升华主题,如Despite my mom's being absent-minded and forgetful, she was still a kind and nice mom.(尽管妈妈总是心不在焉和健忘,但她仍然是一个和蔼可亲的妈妈。)。
②如讲述爸爸带儿子去朋友家的农场里游玩时迷路的故事。文章的开头是这么写的:It was summer and my dad wanted to treat me to a vacation like never before.He decided to take me on a trip to the Wild West.(那是夏天,我爸爸想让我过一个我从没体验过的假期。他决定带我去西部荒野旅行。)文章结尾可以用首尾呼应的写作手法,如Never
had I had such a thrilling yet dangerous vacation before.The special trip to the Wild West was deeply engraved on my mind.(我从来没有过这么刺激又危险的假期。那次去西部荒野的特别旅行深深地铭刻在我的脑海里。)。
③如Authur在帮助警察抓小偷的故事中,文章的开头是这么写的:A funny thing happened to Arthur when he was on the way to work one day.(一天,在Arthur 上班的路上发生了一件有趣的事情。)文章的结尾可以呼应开头:What a funny day!Arthur couldn't stop laughing
whenever he looked back on this hilarious experience.(多么有趣的一天啊!每当Arthur 想起这段好笑的经历,他就忍不住笑起来。)。
(2)人生感悟类
①Lying in the bed of the guest room, I reflected on the exciting yet dangerous experience, which would be engraved on my mind permanently.
躺在客房的床上,我回想起那段激动人心又充满危险的经历,这段经历将永远铭刻在我的脑海里。
②It dawned on me that a moment of kindness could mean so much to another, and that a simple act could make the world so much better.
我开始明白,一个善良的瞬间对另一个人来说意义重大,一个简单的行为可以让世界变得更美好。
③From then on, whenever I encountered difficulties or problems, Mom's encouraging words—Every cloud has a silver lining, always rang in my ears.从那时起,每当我遇到什么困难或问题时,妈妈鼓励性话语——黑暗中总有一丝光明——总会回荡在我耳边。
④Actually, every individual possesses talent. Be brave when you find it and also make efforts. You can create miracles in the end.
事实上,每个人都有天赋,发现它的时候,要勇敢,也要付出努力,最终你会创造奇迹。
⑤The journey to success is not smooth. It is full of challenges and difficulties. We should be brave to face them. As long as we don't give up hope and make every effort to overcome all the difficulties, we will surely achieve our goal.
通往成功的道路并不平坦,充满了挑战和困难。我们要勇敢面对它们。只要不放弃希望并竭尽全力克服所有困难,我们一定会实现我们的目标。
(3)名言警句类
①Life is not a bed of roses, but love makes the world go around.
生活并非总是一帆风顺,但爱使这个世界运转。
②One good turn deserves another.善有善报。
③Roses given, fragrance in hand.赠人玫瑰,手留余香。
④Each contribution, however small, will definitely help to make a
difference.
每一个贡献,无论多小,都肯定会带来改变。
⑤We will meet various challenges in life, but never give up easily. Just as the famous saying goes, “Sunshine always comes after the rain.”
我们在生活中会遇到各种挑战,但是不要轻易放弃。正如一句名言所说:“阳光总在风雨后。”
(4)“动作+感动+感悟”类美句
①I held the paper bag tightly, tears rolling down without control. It is
love that makes the world go around, which I felt deep in my heart.我紧紧地抓住纸袋,眼泪不受控制地滚落下来。我在内心深处感受到正是爱才让这个世界运转起来。
②Over the weeks, as I came to terms with my grief at losing my friend, Annie's advice often came to mind.几个星期以来,我逐渐接受失去朋友的痛苦时,Annie的忠告常常浮现在我的脑海中。
③I smiled as I eventually realized the real source of confidence. Now, I am proud of what I look like and much happier, because I have realized it
is your personality that decides who you truly are.
我笑了,因为我终于意识到了自信的真正来源。现在,我为我的样子感到骄傲,而且更快乐,因为我已经意识到,决定你真正是谁的是你的个性。
④In class, I tried my best to seize every opportunity to improve myself. Gradually, I began to have normal conversations with my classmates and got along well with them. Everything in life was becoming more and more beautiful.
在课堂上,我尽力抓住一切机会来提高自己。渐渐地,我开始和我的同学们进行正常的交谈,并和他们相处得很好。生活中的一切都在变得越来越美好。