(共48张PPT)
第1讲 破解读后续写2大策略
策略一 熟知评分标准
策略二 遵循4步解题
目 录 索 引
01
02
考情表解
卷别 年份 原文文体 主题 原文词数
主题语境 主题内容 全国一卷 2025 记叙文 人与自我 家庭聚会中与兄弟产生嫌隙后和解 313
全国二卷 2025 记叙文 人与社会 留学生秋雨在爱尔兰因其 中文名发音面临的挑战 281
新课标 Ⅰ/Ⅱ卷 2024 记叙文 人与社会 与出租车司机的诚信之约 325
2023 记叙文 人与自我 老师帮助作者培养写作兴趣 318
命题趋势
读后续写所选材料以记叙文为主,且具有一定的故事性、趣味性和延展性,便于考生发挥想象力进行续写。上下文连贯性较强,语言难度适中,便于考生感知、品读和借鉴使用。给出续写段落首句,在一定程度上限制着故事的发展方向,防止想象漫无边际。
策略一 熟知评分标准
档次 评分标准解读
第五档 (21—25分) (1)创造了丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高;
(2)使用了多样并且恰当的词汇和语法结构,可能有个别小错,但完全不影响理解;
(3)有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构清晰,前后呼应,意义连贯。
第四档 (16-20分) (1)创造了比较丰富、合理的内容,比较有逻辑性,续写比较完整,与原文情境融洽度较高;
(2)使用了比较多样并且恰当的词汇和语法结构,可能有些许错误,但不影响理解;
(3)比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。
档次 评分标准解读
第三档 (11—15分) (1)创造了基本合理的内容,有一定的逻辑性,续写基本完整,与原文情境相关;
(2)使用了简单的词汇和语法结构,有一些错误或不恰当之处,但基本不影响理解;
(3)基本有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构基本清晰,意义基本连贯。
第二档 (6—10分) (1)内容或逻辑上有一些重大问题,续写不够完整,与原文情境有一定程度的脱节;
(2)所使用的词汇有限,语法结构单调,错误较多,影响理解;
(3)未能有效地使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不够清晰,意义不够连贯。
档次 评分标准解读
第一档 (1—5分) (1)内容或逻辑上有较多重大问题,或有部分内容抄自原文,续写不完整,与原文情境基本脱节;
(2)所使用的词汇非常有限,语法结构单调,错误很多,严重影响理解;
(3)几乎没有使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不清晰,意义不连贯。
0分 所写内容太少或无法看清以致无法评判;所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要求完全不相关。未作答。
评分细则
1.本题总分为25分,按五个档次进行评分。
2.评分时,应主要从内容、词汇语法和篇章结构三个方面考虑,具体为:
(1)续写内容的质量、完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度;
(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性;
(3)上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
3.评分时,应先根据作答的整体情况确定其所属的档次,然后以该档次的要求来综合衡量,确定或调整档次,最后给分。
4.评分时还应注意:
(1)词数少于120的,酌情扣分;
(2)书写较差以致影响交际的,酌情扣分;
(3)单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方面,评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑,英、美式拼写及词汇用法均可接受。
策略二 遵循4步解题
[典例印证](2022新高考Ⅰ卷)
It was the day of the big cross-country run.Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route(路线) through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David,who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.He was small for ten years old.His usual big toothy smile was absent today.I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children.He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened.“I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably.“I gave him the choice to run or not,and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration(懊恼).I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing.After making sure that David could run if he wanted,I turned to find him coming towards me,his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children,but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid.He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing.That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team.It just took him longer—that’s all.David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.As a special education teacher at the school,I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
步骤一 读透文本
1.主题分析
通过原文和续写段首句可知:
本文讲述了小学生David因脑疾无法像常人一样跑步,害怕被嘲笑而决定放弃准备已久的越野跑,在特殊教育老师“我”的鼓励下,最终成功完成越野跑的故事。故事的主题是“直面挑战,超越自我”。
续写中的人物塑造、情节发展和环境描写需紧扣故事主题。
2.情节分析
①情节结构分析
按照冲突(conflict)→行动(action)→解决(resolution)的结构模式分析:
本文的情节结构是David怕被嘲笑,决定不参加越野跑(冲突)→在“我”的鼓励下,David决定勇敢面对挑战、参加越野跑(行动)→David经过努力,成功完成越野跑(解决)。
②情节线索分析
原文展示了故事的“冲突”部分,续写两段分别为故事的“行动”和“解决”部分。故事围绕David是否参加越野跑展开。越野跑是故事的情节线索之一。根据原文,David 因害怕被嘲笑而决定不参加越野跑,但事实上他在赛前刻苦训练,为越野跑全力以赴,经过“我”的鼓励,David决定直面挑战并成功完成比赛。
David的情感变化是故事的另一个情节线索,从跑前到跑后,David 有以下情感变化:determined(训练时)→afraid of being laughed at(越野跑前) →determined(经过“我”的鼓励)→proud(越野跑后)。
续写两段的内容需围绕越野跑和David的心理变化展开。
③情节安排技巧分析
在原文中,David虽因脑疾无法像其他孩子一样正常跑步,但每次练习都全力以赴、做到最好。该情节(He had worked so hard for this event!...He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing...David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.)为David最终成功完成越野跑埋下了伏笔。
续写第一段中“我”对David 的鼓励应与原文中David想参加越野跑但害怕被嘲笑的情节呼应。续写第二段中 David越野跑中的具体表现应与原文中他因脑疾而跑步困难的情节呼应。
3.人物分析
①主次人物及人物关系分析
根据原文和续写两段的段首句可知,David 和“我”是故事的主要人物,二人是师生关系;教练和其他同学是次要人物。
根据续写两段的段首句可知,在续写第一段中,会出现主要人物David和“我”。在续写第二段中,David和“我”仍然是主要人物,次要人物(教练和其他同学)可能会出现。
②人物特点分析
根据插叙内容(David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children...)与David的外貌(He was small for ten years old.)、动作(his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward)和神态(His usual big toothy smile was absent today.),可以总结出David“身残志坚”的人物形象。
根据原文中关于“我”(walked over and asked,quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach,bit back my frustration,was proud of his strong determination)和次要人物(the coach meant well,his classmates thought of him as a regular kid)的描写,可以总结出大家对David的关爱。
在续写中,应根据主次人物的特点进行合理的人物刻画。David 在前文中的形象是“身残志坚”,续写中可以从这一人物特点出发设计David 比赛过程中的具体表现。
4.场景分析
根据原文和续写段首句可知,故事的“冲突”和“行动”部分发生在孩子们去参加越野跑经过的常绿林(evergreen forest)中,故事的“解决”部分发生在越野跑线路上。
5.表达技巧分析
①语言技巧分析
故事采用第一人称视角,使用了记叙(包括顺叙和插叙)和描写的表达方式。
②语言特点分析
故事语言通俗易懂,形象生动。语篇长短句结合,包含简单句、并列句和复合句(如定语从句、宾语从句和状语从句)三大基本句型,词汇丰富,衔接自然。续写时应注意保持语言特点的统一,可适当使用高级句式。
步骤二 构思情节
1.构思续写两段情节
根据故事的主题、情节、人物和环境分析,原文呈现了故事的“冲突”部分:David 怕被嘲笑,决定不参加越野跑。续写两段分别是故事的“行动”和“解决”部分:在“我”的鼓励下,David决定勇敢面对挑战,参加越野跑(行动) →David经过努力,成功完成越野跑(解决)。
2.构思续写“四点”内容
通过续写两段的段首句,可以确定每段故事的情节发展、场景和人物。
Paragraph 1:We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.
①根据第一段段首句可知,本段故事场景为越野跑赛场下,接下来“我”要和David进行沟通,鼓励他参加越野跑。
②根据第二段段首句可知,在第一段结尾处,David 改变想法,决定参加越野跑。
Paragraph 2:I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
①根据第二段段首句可知,本段故事场景为越野跑线路上,接下来应该是David参加越野跑的具体表现。
②根据故事主题和情节结构分析,段尾应该是David成功完成越野跑的场景。
3.构思续写段落细节
续写第一段情节构思:
展开细节时,可以尝试回答如下问题并考虑多种可能性:
①What did I say to encourage David to join the cross-country run
②How did David react to my encouragement
③What was David’s decision after the talk
根据以上问题,续写第一段的具体情节可以是:“我”通过分析David很想参加越野跑却害怕被嘲笑的心理,鼓励他勇敢面对挑战、超越自我→David 在“我”的鼓励下由消极变得积极→David下定决心参加越野跑(坚定)。
续写第二段情节构思:
展开细节并照应主题时,可以尝试回答如下问题并考虑多种可能性:
①What difficulty did David have in the cross-country run
②How did people react to David’s performance in the run
③What was the result of the cross-country run
根据以上问题,续写第二段的具体情节可以是:David在越野跑中落后或出现意外情况(紧张/担心)→他人对David的鼓励和关爱→David成功完成越野跑(兴奋/自豪)。
步骤三 打磨写作
1.创作初稿:
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.I knew he feared that others might laugh at him.I comforted and encouraged him.After hearing my words,David made his decision to run.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. Some students from other schools looked at him curiously.David’s schoolmates welcomed him.David fell over because of the slippery mud but he got up and continued.Finally he crossed the finishing line and I was proud of him.
2.优化初稿:
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.His confidence was in danger of bursting like a bubble.It was clear that he feared he would be judged for his appearance rather than his character.Knowing David trusted me,I cleared my throat and said,“Beautiful forest,isn’t it ” Slowly and curiously,he raised his head and looked around.I continued,“That’s because those trees never stop reaching for the sky,regardless of their position or shape.They never let others define them.”On hearing this,David got up without a word.But there was a sparkle in his eyes.He had made a decision.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. He received curious glances from runners from other schools but a warm welcome from his schoolmates.Then came a shot from the starting pistol and David dashed forward.The slippery mud threw him off balance,but he got up with determination.Seeing him disappear into the woods,I headed for the destination with the school’s coach.Many runners withdrew from the race along the way,but not David.He bounded and hobbled and plodded towards the finishing line,where the audience cheered loudly as he crossed.I felt proud to see that big,toothy smile back on his face.
【名师点评】
1.初稿第一段开头提到David的担心的状态。优化后的内容使用了比喻的修辞手法,形象生动地展现了David 对自己没有信心的状态(...was in danger of bursting like a bubble)并加入了 “我”的心理描写 (It was clear that he feared...),使得David和“我”的人物形象更加真实饱满。
2.优化后的第一段中,非谓语动词结构“Knowing David trusted me”的使用,描写了“我”的内心感受。此处非谓语动词作伴随状语,提升了句式多样性。
3.初稿第一段中描述“我”安慰和鼓励David时写到“I comforted and encouraged him.”,这是概括性的叙述。可以将这一场景展开,加入一些细节描写,如“I cleared my throat”并展现“我”在安慰和鼓励David 的过程中说的具体内容:“我”以常绿林为例,鼓励David不要被他人定义。要像这些树一样努力成长。整个过程十分应景,与前文内容联系自然紧密。
4.优化后的第一段加入了在“我”安慰和鼓励David的过程中,David 的动作描写(...he raised his head and looked around;David got up without a word)和神态描写(But there was a sparkle in his eyes)。通过这些侧面描写展现了David在整个过程中的情绪变化,画面感很强。
5.初稿第二段开头,在看到David入场后,外校学生和本校学生有不同的反应。优化的内容在展现外校学生的反应时加入了神态描写(curious glances),呼应了前文,优化后的第二段在表现David的比赛过程时,从最开始的David向前冲“dashed forward”到后来摔倒“The slippery mud threw him off balance”再到最后坚定地站起来“got up with determination”,一系列的动作描写将David参赛的过程展现得栩栩如生,也凸显了David不惧困难、坚定的性格特点。
6.优化后的第二段中,非谓语动词结构“Seeing him disappear into the woods”的使用,自然衔接了前后的场景变化(赛场上和赛场下),使得内容过渡自然。
7.优化后的第二段使用多个动词展现了David冲过终点线的场景,例如“bounded”“hobbled”“plodded”,将整个画面呈现在读者面前,同时也表现出David 跑步时的艰难状态,呼应了前文中David的跑步状态“...his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.”。
8.优化后的第二段结尾,通过“我”的心理描写“I felt proud to see...”升华了主题,同时照应了前文中“我”对David 的看法“...proud of his strong determination”。而最后David的脸上又有了他的“big,toothy smile”更是呼应了前文中“His usual big toothy smile was absent today.”的情节,使得整个文章的内容前后非常连贯。
步骤四 认真誊写
【多样表达】
We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.I reached out my hand and patted him on the shoulder gently,saying that he was a great boy with a strong determination and that faced with difficulties he always tried his best to overcome them.David gradually raised his head.Looking him in the eye,I told him not to give up after he had trained a lot.He nodded with gratitude and stood up.I hugged him tightly and then he walked away slowly but firmly.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. When the run began,he looked back over his shoulder and waved at me with confidence.At the same time,his usual big toothy smile appeared on his face again.Though he ran slower than others,he kept on running and running.No kids from other schools made fun of him.Instead,all present cheered him on and admired his courage and strong will.To my relief,it was through this run that David became much stronger.
课堂应用
运用四步法完成下列读后续写:
(2024新课标Ⅰ卷)
I met Gunter on a cold,wet and unforgettable evening in September.I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference.Due to a big storm,my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half.I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague.The moment I got off the plane,I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.
That was when I met Gunter.I told him where I was going,but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station.I thought my pronunciation was the problem,so I explained again more slowly,but he still looked confused.When I was about to give up,Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend.After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century,Gunter put his phone down and started the car.
Finally,with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station. Thankfully,there was a long queue(队列)still waiting to board the bus.Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus,turned around,and looked at me with a big smile on his face.“We made it,” he said.
Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet.I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard.He tried it several times,but the card machine just did not play along.A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out.
At this moment,Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station. There,at the entrance,was a cash machine.I jumped out of the car,made a mad run for the machine,and popped my card in,only to read the message:“Out of order.Sorry.”
注意:
(1)续写词数应为150个左右;
(2)请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised.
参考范文
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.Learning that the cash machine was out of order,he thought for a while and cracked a smile,saying, “Forget the fare,please.Just catch your bus.” His words hit me just like a ray of sunshine on the cold and wet evening.I just didn’t know how to describe my feelings.Filled with excitement and gratitude,I expressed my sincere thanks to him and promised that I would repay him after returning to Vienna after the conference.And then we exchanged phone numbers and waved goodbye.
Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised. After he answered my phone,I told him without his help,I would have missed my conference.Hearing I wanted to see him and repay the taxi fare,Gunter said, “You are an honest man.But please keep the money.” I insisted.So he said if I really desired to repay him,next time I saw others in need and gave them a helping hand.Frozen with great shock,I was moved by his gesture and made a decision that I would pass on his kindness to make the world full of love.
【多样表达】
Possible version 1
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.I explained to him the urgency of catching the bus,emphasizing that otherwise I would be forced to stay overnight and buy a new ticket the next morning.Ultimately,I suggested,“I will return to Vienna in 4 days.If it’s OK with you,I can pay you then,with an additional 10 euros as a gesture of my gratitude.”Following an uncomfortable pause,he simply nodded,saying,“I agree to this arrangement and trust you.”I thanked him with the biggest smile you can imagine,and we exchanged contact information before I got on the bus.
Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised. We arranged to meet at the airport,and upon our arrival,we hugged each other like long lost friends.When I gave him the extra ?10 I had promised,he didn’t accept.“Buy me a beer next time you are in Vienna,”he said with a warm smile. Then we parted ways with a firm handshake and a promise to keep in touch. Gunter’s kindness had turned a potentially disastrous evening into a memorable story I would cherish for years to come.
Possible version 2
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.He looked at me in disbelief.Feeling guilty,I begged him for a delayed payment.“If I miss this last bus to Prague,I’ll be late for an important conference,” I explained anxiously. “May I have your phone number I promise I will call you and return the money I owe you and give you a generous tip!”I added.Then the impossible happened.He nodded his head simply,saying,“It’s cool.I accept this solution and trust you.” A feeling of gratitude washed over me as I heard his words. Giving him a firm handshake,I jumped out of the car,made a mad run for the bus,and jumped onto it just before its departure.
Four days later,when I was back in Vienna,I called Gunter as promised. Beaming a warm smile at him,I gave him a big hug the moment I met him.I told him that thanks to his generosity and timely help,everything had gone smoothly.I gave Gunter the money and the extra tip I had promised,but he did not accept the tip.I had no choice but to give him an attractive souvenir I had bought at Prague,which he accepted with delight.In this way,we became good friends and kept in touch with each other regularly.I was blessed with such a warm-hearted friend like Gunter who has a heart of gold.(共66张PPT)
第5讲 分门别类,突破4大主题语境
主题1 温馨家庭
典型例题
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
(2021新高考Ⅰ卷)
A MOTHER’S DAY SURPRISE
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day.How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed.They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge.They had watched their mother in the kitchen.There was nothing to it.Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.
The big day came at last.The alarm rang at 6 a.m.The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen.They decided to boil the porridge first.They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast.Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk.Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture.Next,Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan.Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread.The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds.Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread.This time,she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake.The next minute,the porridge boiled over and put out the fire.Jenna panicked.Thankfully,Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly.But the stove was a mess now.Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge.But Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain.Jenna made him put his hand in cold water.Then she caught the smell of burning.Oh dear!The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
As the twins looked around them in disappointment,their father appeared.
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
参考范文
As the twins looked around them in disappointment,their father appeared. Seeing the mess in the kitchen,he immediately understood what had happened, but he wasn’t upset.Instead,he applied some medicine to Jeff’s hand,and then set out to help them clean up the mess,throwing away the burnt toast.Next,they began to make breakfast,and by now the twins looked cheerful.Before long,the porridge was ready.Their father instructed them to fry the rest of the bread.Soon,the breakfast was ready,too.
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. Opening her eyes,she couldn’t believe what she had seen.Before she could ask any question,their father turned up and told his wife about how the twins had made preparations to give her the surprise breakfast,and what trouble they had gone through when making the porridge and toast.Disbelief gave way to excitement and pride.Hugging them in her arms,she said,“Thank you,children. It’s such an unforgettable Mother’s Day for me.”
【信息整合】
1.抓住文本五要素
人物:the twins Jeff and Jenna,Father,Mother
时间:on the morning of Mother’s Day
地点:in the kitchen
起因:to plan to cook breakfast for their mother as a present on Mother’s Day
经过:The twins planned to make French toast and chicken porridge,but the bread turned black and the porridge boiled over and put out the fire.
2.理清文章三大线索
时间线:before Mother’s Day→at 6 a.m.on Mother’s Day→first→next→ then→the next minute
情节线:母亲节前双胞胎计划给妈妈做顿早饭当作母亲节的礼物→母亲节这天一大早双胞胎就开始行动起来→一开始做汤的时候还很顺利→Jeff把面包煎煳了,Jenna扔掉,重新再煎→这时汤溢出来了,把炉火浇灭了→Jenna让Jeff打扫干净,继续做汤→Jeff不小心手碰到了锅,烫着了→Jenna让他在凉水下冲洗。Jenna闻到煳味,面包煎煳了。
感情线:excited→panicked→calm→disappointed
3.把握文章主旨,推测故事发展方向
本文的主题语境属于“人与自我”。文章讲述了一对双胞胎计划给妈妈做顿早饭当作母亲节的礼物,一开始很顺利,但是中间出现了一些意外,汤溢出来了,把锅灶弄得一团糟,后来Jeff又烫了手,好在Jenna还冷静,让Jeff在凉水下冲洗。这时,锅里的面包也煳了。
实战突破
“Dear Jenny,I am really sorry to tell you that you didn’t get the position this time.The interviewers had a discussion about you.You have a very good experience,but you are not qualified for this position.The journalist we want is to communicate with people from walks of life,so you should be more sociable and more energetic.So,sorry.” Actually,such was not quite new to Jenny and this was the third time that she had been rejected for a job position after her graduation from university as a top student.
Overwhelmed(淹没) with sadness,she lifted her hands to cover her face. Her heart was broken with self-doubt whether she was never good enough to fit in with the highly competitive adult world.It seemed that the excellence she displayed at school was nothing but illusion.“Maybe I should quit applying for that demanding job,” Jenny whispered to herself.
Sensing something wrong,Jenny’s father,James,said to his daughter, “Congratulations on your graduation,and time to enjoy your youth.In celebration of your new life,I’d like to give you something special.Here is a car that I acquired many years ago.But before I give it to you,take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them you want to sell it and see how much they offer you.”
Unwilling as Jenny was,she went to the used car lot and they offered her only one thousand dollars because the car looked very worn out.With that offer, she returned back to her father and out of her expectation,this time her father told her to take this car to a pawnshop (当铺).Confused,Jenny went to the pawnshop where they should have offered her ten thousand dollars as her father’s car looked a little bit old to them.“Maybe it is a perfect deal!” thought Jenny.But then,the father advised his daughter to keep trying and go to a car club and show them the car.The daughter took the car to the club,and then,breathtakingly,something magic happened.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
People there willingly offered one hundred thousand dollars for the same car.
Wearing a satisfied smile,James said,“They identified it as an expensive car.”
参考范文
People there willingly offered one hundred thousand dollars for the same car.Shocked,Jenny couldn’t believe what was happening in front of her.Ideas and questions came to mind,so she asked herself,“How could the prices be so different at different places Are these guys out of mind to buy such a worn-out car ” Without any clues,she dashed back to her father and couldn’t wait to make out the truth.So she told James what had happened in the car club.
Wearing a satisfied smile,James said,“They identified it as an expensive car.”In fact,never had people in the used car lot and the pawnshop recognized the value under the broken cover.Patting gently on Jenny’s shoulder,James said, “I want you to know that you are not worth anything if you are not in a right place.Don’t stay where your value goes unnoticed.” With moved tears in her eyes,Jenny understood she should know her worth and surround herself with those who could recognize it and that the true value would shine only when she was in the right environment.She knew clearly what to do next.
主题2 意外事件
典型例题
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
One fall,my wife Elli and I had a single goal:to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “the polar bear capital of the world”—the town of Churchill in Manitoba,Canada.
Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous.Polar bears—like all wild animals—should be photographed from a safe distance. When I’m face to face with a polar bear,I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens.But sometimes,that is easier said than done.This was one of those times.
As Elli and I cooked dinner,a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed,and smelled our garlic bread.
The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp,which was surrounded by a high wire fence.He pulled and bit the wire.He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.
Terrified,Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew.We yelled at the bear,hit pots hard,and fired blank shotgun shells into the air.Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off.Not this polar bear though—he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws(爪子).
I radioed the camp manager for help.He told me a helicopter was on its way,but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived.Making the best of this close encounter(相遇),I took some pictures of the bear.
Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through 30 more minutes of the bear’s punishment.The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray.The spray burns the bears’ eyes,but doesn’t hurt them.So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and,through the fence,sprayed him in the face.With an angry roar(吼叫),the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
A few minutes later,the bear came back.
At the very moment,the helicopter arrived.
参考范文
A few minutes later,the bear came back.Then we realized that the spray had only angered him even more,for he seemed much fiercer this time and violently pushed the fence like mad.My heart raced wildly,not knowing what to do.At this critical moment,Elli grabbed several pieces of garlic bread and threw them over the fence.It worked!The bear stopped the attack and ran to the bread.But it wasn’t long before he ate up all the bread and came back again.
At the very moment,the helicopter arrived.“Thank goodness we are saved!”Elli cried out.Once the helicopter landed,we got onto it in no time, excited and relieved.When we were safe on the helicopter up in the air,I was amazed to spot that the bear had finally torn down the fence and ran towards the food we left behind.I quickly took out the camera and photographed the rare scene—we were robbed by a polar bear!
【信息整合】
1.抓住文本五要素
人物:I,Elli,the bear
时间:one fall
地点:“the polar bear capital of the world”—the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada
起因:to photograph polar bears
经过:we fought against the polar bear which entered our camp site for food
2.理清文章三大线索
时间线:as we cooked dinner→as the bear tried to tear down the fence with his massive paws→after we radioed the camp manager for help
情节线:我们住在“世界北极熊之都”外的一个研究营,拍摄北极熊→一只熊来到我们的营地寻找食物→我们与这只熊战斗,以使它远离我们的营地,但没有成功。
感情线:terrified→brave→desperate
3.把握文章主旨,推测故事发展方向
本文的主题语境属于人与自然。文章讲述了主人公拍摄北极熊的一次危险经历,重点描述了主人公遭遇北极熊以及与北极熊斗争的惊险过程,阐述人与动物和谐相处的主旨。由此推测故事发展的方向:一是如何与北极熊斗智斗勇;二是在直升机的帮助下,最终成功脱险。
4.分析用词特点和行文风格
文章侧重动作描写,运用大量的动词,如sniffed,smelled,followed,pulled,bit, yelled,hit,fired,ran等,句式长短结合,生动形象地描述了人熊斗争的过程,画面感强。并有一些情感类心理描写与情节叙述,渲染了人战的紧张气氛。续写时要侧重动作与心理描写。
实战突破
As the late afternoon sun beat down on his farm in Missouri last May, Brandon finished feeding his cows and decided to go home.As they often did, his two sons,Louie,7,and Everett,5,followed closely.
As they headed for the house,the two boys ran ahead of their father,who stopped to close the gate of the farm.Louie paused at a board covering an old well.The board had,over time,become easily broken.When Louie stepped on it, it caved in and he fell into the well.Brandon had just closed the door when he heard a cry for help.He turned around and found his younger son Everett standing alone beside the well,pointing to it and screaming.
Brandon quickly realized what had happened.“No,Louie can barely swim,” he panicked,his mind almost going blank.However,he knew he should calm down.He ran to the well and heard Louie hitting the water.Without thinking,he jumped in.Somehow,Brandon managed to grab on to a pipe that ran down the side of the well.He hit the cold water at the bottom of the well and lifted Louie up as he stuck his own legs and back against the narrow walls for support.“All right,Dad,we can climb out now,” Louie said.
If only it were that easy!
The pipe that he’d grabbed during his fall was too slippery to be of any use.There was only one way out.Looking up to see Everett looking down at them,Brandon shouted,“Everett,you’re going to have to be a big boy and save us.Run to the road and stand by the mailbox until someone stops.Tell them we need help.And Everett,stay off the road.”
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
Everett did as he was told.
The couple hurried to the well with Everett.
参考范文
Everett did as he was told.About 15 minutes later,Dan and Christi,nearby farmers,were driving by when they noticed Everett alone by the side of the road,waving.They pulled over and asked if he was OK.“My daddy’s in a hole,” he told them.Hearing this,they asked Everett to get on their pickup and then drove to the well.
The couple hurried to the well with Everett.“Brandon,” Dan shouted,“It’s Dan.We’re going to send a rope down to you.” After several minutes they pulled Louie out of the well.The couple now turned their attention to Brandon, but he was too heavy to pull out of the well using just the rope.After a brief discussion,they decided to use the old windmill that still stood over the well. Forty minutes after he’d jumped into the well to save his son,Brandon emerged,cold and wet.“You are our life savers.” Brandon thanked the couple, who turned to Everett.Dan said,“Everett is actually your life saver.Without him, we wouldn’t have known the accident,let alone the rescue!” Words couldn’t express his surprise when the father turned to the 5-year-old boy.Finally they thanked Dan and Christi again together.
主题3 人际关系
典型例题
(2022浙江1月改编)
When Dr.Henderson was assigning(指定) project mates for his psychology class,I secretly hoped that he would pair me with my best friend or at least a classmate I could have some fun with.Above all,I hoped he wouldn’t assign me to work with the fiercely competitive and extremely serious fellow who always wore dark clothes and apparently had a personality to match.As fate(命运) would have it,Dr.Henderson very deliberately matched everyone in class and announced that I would be working with the one person in class I wanted to avoid.
I went up to my new teammate and introduced myself.He looked at me as though I weren’t there.I felt he treated me as though I would hold him back and probably make him fail to get an A in the course.He wasn’t mean or abusive;he just gave me the impression that he could do whatever project we dreamed up better if he did it alone.
Needless to say,I didn’t look forward to an entire term of being brushed off,but I tried to make the best of it and didn’t say anything for fear that I would make things worse.
The project required each team to develop a hypothesis(假说),set up an experiment to test the hypothesis,do the statistical analysis and present the findings.Whatever grade the team received would be shared by both students.
When my teammate and I met to discuss our project,I was uneasy.Here was this challenging student who had a reputation for single-mindedness and good grades—the exact opposite of me.I actually wanted to drop the class at one point,but stopped short because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of my chickening out.I decided to stick to it no matter what.
After long discussions we somehow agreed to do a study on the psychological well-being of teenagers.I wasn’t sure what it meant exactly,but at least we had a topic.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
We started to meet regularly to draw up our plans.
One day I got word that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease.
参考范文
We started to meet regularly to draw up our plans.Though I wanted to share my ideas with him fully,I failed to do so for fear that I would hold him back.I just kept nodding when he asked me whether it’s OK to do this way or that way.I thought it was impossible to persuade him into accepting my views, so I didn’t want to waste our time to discuss.I started to wait to leave immediately we arrived at the place,and so did he.I just hoped that the presentation day could come earlier.
One day I got word that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease. I felt so sorry to hear that and I thought I should visit him in any case.He was a little surprised to see me when I stepped into his ward with some flowers and fruits.I offered to do the rest work of our project and he invited me to share my ideas to perfect it.We began to work as a fine team and finally finished our project on time.Our hard work paid off and Dr.Henderson was very satisfied with our wonderful findings.From this project,we also learned the significance of teammates.Just as the saying goes,one person can go far,but a group of persons can travel farther.
【读文预测】
1.根据文章情节找伏笔,预测续写内容
本文以故事发展为线索,讲述了作者的心理学老师为学生安排了研究项目,并指定了合作伙伴,最后的项目得分两人平分。作者希望老师给自己指派一位关系好的同学合作,但恰恰相反,老师给作者安排了他最不愿意与其合作的那个人一组。两个人没有共同语言,对方很强势。但是不管怎样,两人最终确定了研究的项目和议题。
在所给的文本信息里,已经为下文续写内容埋下了伏笔,就是文章的最后一段“After long discussions we somehow agreed to do a study on the psychological well-being of teenagers.I wasn’t sure what it meant exactly,but at least we had a topic.”由此可以推测续写内容应该是两个人如何进行项目研究以及最后的结果。
2.根据所给首句,大胆设问,进行预测
由第一段首句内容“我们开始定期见面,制定我们的(研究项目)计划。”可知,这一段可以写“我们”是如何制定计划的,又是如何商量的,两人合作是否愉快,项目推进是否顺利。我们可以大胆设问:
(1)Did we share our ideas with each other
(2)Would that boy like to accept my opinions
(3)What should I do when he ignored my advice
(4)How would I feel when he ignored my advice
根据这四个问题,第一段就有内容可写了。
由第二段首句内容“一天我得到消息说他得了重病住进了医院。”可知,这一段可以写“我”去医院看望他,他很感动,因此愿意与“我”合作并听取“我”的意见,“我们”的项目进展很顺利,如期完成并取得了满意的结果。我们可以大胆设问:
(1)How would I feel when I got the news that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease
(2)Did I go to the hospital to see him
(3)How would he feel when he saw me in his ward
(4)How did we do the project from then on
(5)Was the project completed on time
(6)Was the teacher satisfied with our project
(7)What did we learn from the project
这样,根据设问,整理答案,适当扩充,再运用恰当的动作描写、心理描写和一些高级句式和表达,使用适当的过渡词语,就组成一篇完整的文章了。
实战突破
I looked up from my desk to see the teacher writing on the board:“Battle of the Books!”She smiled and said,“This time it’s a teamwork.You’re going to be in teams of two,and set a reading goal.Every team that meets their goal by the end of the month will get a prize!”The lunch bell sounded before she could explain any more rules.
As I gathered my things,Liya passed my desk and said,“Teammates ” Since Liya and I shared the same interest in graphic novel(漫画小说),and we took Hindi language class together,we teamed up automatically.I was both relieved and excited to have my team.Then we got to the cafeteria and quickly threw out a bunch of ideas of what to do at our table.
I looked to our third friend Kash,with whom the three of us always do stuff together,“Kash,do you have ideas for us ” “Why would I give you guys ideas ” he said gloomily (阴沉地).“I’ll save that for my team...whoever that is.Now I see how I rank in the friendship line-up.”Kash replied in an angry tone.
I knew he was mad for a reason.If I were him,not only would I think that I ranked last in that group,but I’d also be panicking about what team I could join.But now,I was on the inside and Kash wasn’t.I felt like the only way to fix this would be three people on a team.So,as the teacher walked by our table,I asked for her permission.What surprised me was that she had intended to draw names to assign random groups,but didn’t get a chance to say it before lunch.
Awkward and frustrated,we were stuck in this dilemma.Having first teamed up without Kash didn’t mean we didn’t like him.I knew we — especially I — wouldn’t be able to enjoy any prize if our friend felt bad about being left out.So,I decided to do something to make it up for him and convince Kash he was an equally important friend.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
That night,I was struck by an idea as I read a graphic novel that all three of us liked.
The next day,I handed my pages of apology to Kash.
参考范文
That night,I was struck by an idea as I read a graphic novel that all three of us liked.Thrilled and inspired,I sprang in front of my desk,racked my brains and started drawing a few scenes of three of us giggling,chattering and enjoying each other’s company like we usually did.On the last page,I wrote, “Dear Kash,you are not the one left behind.Liya and I are so sorry about the way we messed things up.” Pierced to the heart with guilt,I carefully put the paintings into an envelope,hoping this would be an icebreaker.
The next day,I handed my pages of apology to Kash.He took it,looking surprised at the first sight.After he read it,an expression of intense joy illuminated his eyes.Blushed,I broke the silence,“I’m sorry,dude.We should have talked to you.”With her eyes fixed on the floor,Liya came over and apologized in a low voice,“You mean a lot to us.” Hearing her words,Kash shook his head and beamed,“I was way too sensitive.” We exchanged a knowing smile,realizing that sincerity,trust and communication were always the key to clearing up the misunderstanding between friends.
主题4 社会温情
典型例题
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
During this past year,I’ve had three instances of car trouble.Each time these things happened,I was sick of the way most people hadn’t bothered to help.One of those times,I was on the side of the road for close to three hours with my big Jeep.I put signs in the windows,big signs that said NEED A JACK (千斤顶),and offered money.Nothing.Right as I was about to give up,a Mexican family in a small truck pulled over,and the father bounded out.
He sized up the situation and called for his daughter,who spoke English. He conveyed through her that he had a jack but that it was too small for the Jeep,so we would need something to support it.Then he got a saw(锯子) from the truck and cut a section out of a big log on the side of the road.We rolled it over and put his jack on top,and we were in business.
I started taking the wheel off,and then,if you can believe it,I broke his tire iron.No worries:He handed it to his wife,and she was gone in a flash down the road to buy a new tire iron.She was back in 15 minutes.We finished the job, and I was a very happy man.
The two of us were dirty and sweaty.His wife prepared a pot of water for us to wash our hands.I tried to put a $20 bill in the man’s hand,but he wouldn’t take it,so instead I went up to the truck and gave it to his wife as quietly as I could.I asked the little girl where they lived.Mexico,she said.They were in Oregon so Mommy and Daddy could work on a fruit farm for the next few weeks.Then they would go home.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
When I was about to say goodbye,the girl asked if I’d had lunch.
After they left,I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.
参考范文
When I was about to say goodbye,the girl asked if I’d had lunch.Not until then did I hear my stomach rumbling,I shrugged awkwardly.A smile of sympathy flickering across her face,she suddenly turned around and darted toward her truck.For split seconds,the girl turned up breathlessly,a paper bag held tightly in her hand.“Here you are.It will...do you good.” She stammered in broken English,grinning mysteriously.Maybe,it was her toy she didn’t need any longer.I waved to the family,seeing them walking across the street hand in hand.
After they left,I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.In sight came a hamburger and a 20-dollar bill,to which a note was attached.It read,“I bought them with all my savings.Good luck.”As if a bolt of lighting struck me,I gaped in gratitude and meanwhile felt a stab of guilt for my misunderstanding her goodwill.I looked out of the window eagerly only to find their truck just alongside.What a coincidence!The little girl returned me a sweet smile,her tinkling laughter filling the air.It was the first time that I hadn’t been sick of my car trouble and felt lucky to have seen a beautiful heart.
【读文预测】
1.由续写第一段的首句“When I was about to say goodbye,the girl asked if I’d had lunch.”和续写第二段的首句“After they left,I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.”再结合所给短文内容,可以预测本段应主要写小女孩给“我”提供食物。
根据续写第二段的首句“After they left,I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.”和文章整体内容可推知,文章应是美好结局或正能量的结局,可以预测故事结局:作者认识到人间的真善美。
2.写“五所”(所见,所闻,所说,所思,所做),并对此进行设问。设问时要抓住段首句关键词。
P1:When I was about to say goodbye,the girl asked if I’d had lunch.
Q1:What was my reply (about lunch) Did I have lunch
Q2:What did the girl do (about the paper bag)
Q3:How did I feel
Q4:How did they left (after they left)
P2:After they left,I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.
Q1:What did I find in the paper bag
Q2:How did I feel
Q3:How did I change the opinion towards stranger
Q4:What does the story intend to tell readers
根据设问,整理答案,适当扩充,再运用恰当的动作描写、心理描写和一些高级句式和表达,使用适当的过渡词语,就组成一篇完整的文章了。
实战突破
Jameson Lobb,a 24-year-old investment banker from Toronto,was just one week into his new job on Wall Street.Over the past month,he’d been settling in to the New York City apartment he was sharing with his friend,an artificial intelligence engineer named Raphael Jafri.
Now,on Oct.4,the two were taking a quick lunchtime workout on Pier(码头) 15,overlooking the East River,when Lobb froze.“Somebody’s in the water,” he said.Before Jafri could respond,Lobb climbed over the rail at the edge of the pier and jumped into the cold,polluted water without taking the time to remove his shoes.What Lobb had heard was an alarming shout from Pier 16,nearly 50 yards away,“Help!He’s in the water!” And what he’d seen was a person floating (漂浮),motionless.
Approaching the victim,Lobb saw that it was a middle-aged man.He was big,around 200 pounds,respectably dressed and sinking fast.He was 3 feet below the surface by the time Lobb reached him.The rescuer dived,felt around,grasped the man and kicked upward until they both resurfaced.
Jafri was in water now.The two friends used all their strength to float the man on his back,even as the water threatened to overtake them.As Jafri put his arms around the man’s shoulders and Lobb supported him,the pair struggled back to Pier 15.Their lungs cried out for air and their muscles burned as they pushed and pulled the immobile figure through the freezing and fast-moving water.
The man was breathing shallowly,his face pale.When at last they reached Pier 15,they faced a new uncertainty.How to get out The pier’s decking(甲板) stood an unreachable 10 feet above their heads.It is unlikely for them to climb onto the pier.
Suddenly the man made a slight move,struggling confusedly.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
On the pier,a crowd had gathered.
As Lobb and Jafri climbed onto the pier,they were met with cheers and applause.
参考范文
On the pier,a crowd had gathered.From somewhere,the onlookers produced a rope and a life jacket,which they threw to Jafri and Lobb.The friends immediately worked the victim’s arm through the life jacket and tied the rope around his body.With the two men pushing from below and the crowd pulling from above,the man slowly rose until helping hands pulled him onto the pier.Then the crowd quickly threw the rope to Lobb and Jafri,and they were able to grab on and be pulled to safety.
As Lobb and Jafri climbed onto the pier,they were met with cheers and applause.Luckily,the man woke up and thanked Jafri and Lobb for their bravery.They said that they had been passing by when they saw what was happening and knew just what to do.Then they thanked the crowd for their help.As they walked away from the pier,Lobb and Jafri knew that this was a moment they would never forget.They had saved a life,and in doing so,they had proven that even the smallest act of kindness could make a big difference to the world.(共30张PPT)
第2讲 抓核心线索,厘故事脉络
线索1 提炼架构要点,梳理故事情节
线索2 锁定关键词句,把握情感基调
目 录 索 引
01
02
线索3 明确核心冲突,做好情节准备
03
线索1 提炼架构要点,梳理故事情节
方式1 找出六要素,串联人物活动
读后续写的文章一般是记叙文,记叙文有六要素,即时间(when)、地点(where)、人物(who)、起因(reason)、经过(course)及结果(ending)。事件的经过包括三个部分:开端—发展—高潮。在找到这些要素之后,将它们串联起来,就可以得到故事的核心脉络。因此,我们在读所给材料时,要有意识地关注这几个要素,这是我们获取文章主要内容的重要途径。此类方法适合要素明确、结构相对简单的文章。
敲黑板:不一定每一篇文章都包含全部要素。
[典例](2021新高考Ⅰ卷)情节梳理如下:
方式2 依据时空线索,分析主要情节
[典例](2023浙江1月卷) 时空线索如下:
通过上述分析可知故事情节如下:
到朋友农场参加露天烧烤,被一个声音吸引→进入挤奶房发现一只蜂鸟被困于蛛网中→拯救蜂鸟→蜂鸟没有立刻飞走,盯着作者看后飞走→烧烤过程中作者告诉东道主此事→餐后蜂鸟飞回来,好像是说再见→(续写第一段)几周后,作者重回农场,想到了什么 做了什么 感觉是怎样的 →(续写第二段)蜂鸟出现后,它如何表现 作者有什么反应 作者感悟到了什么
方式3 切分文本结构,明确发展方向
记叙文的行文结构包括4大要素,即“起、承、转、合”,对于故事情节较曲折的文章来说,找到这四个结构要素对梳理文章情节非常重要。文章遵循“起→承→转→合”的结构特点,对应故事的“发生→发展→转折或高潮→结局”。
[典例](2022新高考Ⅰ卷)情节梳理如下:
线索2 锁定关键词句,把握情感基调
情感基调指的是文章的感彩,作者的基本观点的情感取向,也就是作者想要表达的总的情感态度,如是欢乐的还是悲伤的,是激昂豪迈的还是委婉含蓄的,是积极向上的还是消沉的等。只有准确把握原文本的情感基调,考生才能使续写的内容与原文融合在一起。
方式1 通过细节用词把握情感基调
[典例](2022新高考Ⅰ卷)...David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.As a special education teacher at the school,I was familiar with the David非常努力参加训练,所以他内心是想要参加比赛的
challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
为David的积极态度感到骄傲
分析 可以看出,原文的基调是积极向上的,由此也可推测David最终参加了比赛并赢得了尊重。
敲黑板:判断情感基调要注意形容词、副词、表示情感的名词或动词等细节用词。
方式2 通过人物对话把握情感基调
[典例](2020新高考Ⅰ卷)...After their mother left the room,the children sat thinking about Bernard.“I wish we could help him to earn money,”said Clara. 孩子们想要帮助Bernard
“His family is suffering so much.”
“So do I,”said Harry.“We really should do something to assist them.”
孩子们在出谋划策
For some moments,John said nothing,but,suddenly,he sprang to his feet and cried,“I have a great idea!I have a solution that we can all help accomplish(完成).”
分析 可以看出,原文的情感基调是积极助人、友爱和善的,由此也可推测结局是孩子们帮Bernard挣到了钱。
方式3 通过环境描写把握情感基调
[典例1]At least two dozen kites already hung in the sky,like paper sharks swimming in the sea.Within an hour,the number doubled,and red,blue,and yellow kites glided and spun in the sky.
分析 此处为社会场景描写,通过描绘了风筝数量的变化以及风筝的形态、颜色,从侧面表现出人数之多,场面之热闹,亦能表现出放风筝的人的欢愉之情。
[典例2]By three o’clock,the rain had stopped and the sky was a dull gray burdened with lumps of clouds.A cool breeze blew through the park.
分析 此处为自然场景描写,交代了故事发生的时间、地点,通过灰色的天空和乌云渲染了压抑的气氛。
线索3 明确核心冲突,做好情节准备
对记叙文而言,矛盾冲突是决定其情节发展的关键,这种矛盾冲突可能是一个人内心的内在冲突,也有可能是与他人、与环境的外在冲突,但无论内在还是外在,矛盾冲突都是一个故事的精髓。读后续写中续写内容往往是冲突的解决与结局,冲突的解决方式也会在原文本中或明或暗地有所提示。考生可以从以下三个角度来挖掘核心冲突,找到核心冲突的解决方式。
方式1 重视首段背景信息
文章首段可能会出现核心冲突产生的原因,因此我们在阅读的过程中要善于发现这些伏笔。
[典例](2021浙江6月卷)My dad,George,only had an eighth grade education.A quiet man,he didn’t understand my world of school activities.From age 14,he worked.And his dad,Albert,took the money my dad earned and used it to pay family expenses.
分析 首段说明了作者父亲的情况:上学就上到了八年级、不理解作者的校园活动世界、14岁就开始工作并把挣来的钱交给他父亲。这说明了本文核心冲突产生的原因,为作者与父亲在收入是否上交方面起冲突埋下伏笔。
方式2 挖掘隐藏情节伏笔
核心冲突的解决方案可能在故事的中间段落已被暗示出来。中间段落是故事发展的过程,在这个过程中,作者也可以设置解决核心冲突的伏笔。
[典例](2022新高考Ⅰ卷)...He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened...
I bit back my frustration(懊恼).I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing.After making sure that David could run if he wanted,I turned to find him coming towards me,his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
分析 根据原文中的“he had decided not to run”和“He had worked so hard for this event!”可知,David最后决定不参加比赛,但是前期已经为比赛付出了极大的努力。由此可判断David内心是渴望参加比赛的。再结合“David could run if he wanted”可知,如果David愿意,David依然可以参赛,由此可以判断,解决本文核心冲突的关键在于David自己内心的坚定,为后面 David 踏上赛道埋了伏笔。
方式3 用好尾段冲突暗示
一些读后续写所给语篇尾段的描述体现了人物内心冲突或人物关系冲突的迹象或开端,而续写段落应该是冲突的发展、高潮,在语篇尾段中准确捕捉冲突的伏笔可帮助我们合理构思情节的发展和高潮。
[典例1](2022浙江1月卷)After long discussions we somehow agreed to do a study on the psychological well-being of teenagers.I wasn’t sure what it meant exactly,but at least we had a topic.
分析 上文描述作者成绩一般。面对一个专心学习、成绩优秀但自傲的合作伙伴,作者感到自卑、消极。尾段介绍,经过长时间的讨论,作者与合作伙伴最终设法确定了项目主题,这为续写部分中他们定期研讨项目情节做好了铺垫。“I wasn’t sure what it meant exactly”这句话也为续写段落中作者在项目研讨中的表现埋下了伏笔。
[典例2](2021浙江6月卷)My labors lasted about two weeks,and the farmer said there might be more work,but I wasn’t interested.I decided it was not fair that I had to contribute my money.
分析 上文描述作者得知他打工挣来的钱要贴补家庭开销而不能随心花了,为此他心情不悦。所以在尾段中,作者可能还有更多的工作要做但他并不感兴趣,作者认为把自己挣来的钱贡献出来不公平。这为下文,即续写段落中他与父亲就他挣到的钱的用途产生冲突埋下了伏笔。
课堂应用
(2025全国一卷)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
My wife and I wanted to share our new home with family and friends by hosting a small gathering in the early summer.She had prepared lots of snacks, while my job was to have the backyard in order.
There was plenty of space for the kids to run and play.There was just one thing I hadn’t counted on:My brother chose to bring his dog Toby,a 50-pound ball of fire.Though friendly,he could easily knock over my niece’s small boys and my six-month-old granddaughter.So,when my brother showed up,I asked him to watch Toby and keep him outside.
My plan was working out just fine.Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room. Unexpectedly,after supper,the weather changed.It started to rain and everyone went indoors.
It was an awkward moment.I didn’t want Toby to be running around in the house,and my brother wasn’t happy with driving home with a wet dog. Eventually,my brother decided to leave rather than force the issue.
A few days passed,and I hadn’t heard anything from my brother.I texted him and expressed wishes for him to come out again.His reply came as a surprise—a shock,actually:“Not a chance.” Clearly,he was unhappy over the way we had parted.After all,I had left him little choice.Well,he’ll get over it,I reasoned.
Two months passed.My wife suggested I get in touch with my brother,but I resisted,thinking he should call first.However,my conscience(良心) kept bothering me.I tried to put myself in my brother’s shoes.He was facing health issues and his wife of thirty-five years had passed away a few months earlier. Toby was his constant companion,the one who kept him going.
注意:
(1)续写词数应为150个左右;
(2)请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
I realized it was me who was at fault.
With the biscuits my wife had made,I arrived at my brother’s door.
参考范文
I realized it was me who was at fault.What I ignored was my brother’s feelings.Actually,Toby was to him what a child was to a parent.Feeling ashamed,I told my wife how I regretted refusing my brother’s dog to enter my house.Hearing my words,she nodded,saying that it was time to make up for my fault.I advised calling my brother and admitted I was wrong.However,my wife thought it was better to bring some tasty biscuits made by herself to visit my brother and his dog.I agreed.
With the biscuits my wife had made,I arrived at my brother’s door.Seeing my arrival,he looked greatly surprised.I apologized to him,saying that I shouldn’t have treated him and his dog so badly.With tears blurring his eyes,he forgave me and then chatted with me about Toby,who helped him feel relaxed and healthier.Without the dog,my brother wouldn’t live so happily.I expressed my wishes for him and Toby to visit my house again and my brother accepted my invitation.It was that experience that made me realize that admitting one’s fault and forgiving others play an indispensable part in our daily life.(共26张PPT)
第4讲 要虎头也要豹尾,9招出奇制胜
技法1 高分开头5妙招
技法2 吸睛结尾4妙招
目 录 索 引
01
02
技法1 高分开头5妙招
如何写好读后续写,在高考中吸引阅卷老师的眼球,获得梦寐以求的高分 如何让学生的作品在高考中脱颖而出 这是很多老师和学生一直不懈努力的课题。一个好的故事开头就好比是一个香味十足的诱饵,诱使读者上钩并且饶有趣味地读完。 而一个拙劣的故事开头,一定会让读者大倒胃口,恹恹欲睡。“Well begun is half done!”可见写好一个故事的开头是多么重要。下面教你五招高分开头的方式。
妙招1 巧用形容词/副词短语
[典例1] Disappointed and frustrated,David hung his head,trying to avoid eye contact with me.(2022新高考Ⅰ卷)
大卫又失望又沮丧,低下头,尽量避免和我有眼神接触。
[典例2] Happily and excitedly,they went to the supermarket for what they needed.
他们高兴而兴奋地去超市买他们需要的东西。
妙招2 巧用分词(短语)
[典例1] Seeing his face filled with anxiety,I felt sad,deciding to talk something with him.(2022新高考Ⅰ卷)
看到他满脸焦虑,我感到很难过,决定和他谈谈。
[典例2] A few weeks later the boy arrived home from university.Hurrying home,he couldn’t wait to see his old friend Poppy.
几个星期后,男孩从大学回到家里。匆忙回家,他迫不及待地想见到他的老朋友波比。
妙招3 巧用高级句式
[典例1] I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.My brother came up with an idea that he could cut the pumpkin with a knife. (同位语从句)
我被困了五六分钟,虽然感觉要长得多。我的弟弟想出了一个主意,他可以用小刀把南瓜切开。
[典例2] At the very moment,the helicopter arrived.It hovered over the camp, causing strong wind that blew the bear unsteady on his feet.(非谓语动词+定语从句)
就在这时,直升机到了。它在营地上空盘旋,刮起大风,把熊吹得双脚不稳。
妙招4 巧用倒装结构
[典例] Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared.Hardly had the little dog come out when Poppy came over to lick it as if it were a long-lost friend.
爸爸打开盒子,一只可爱的小狗出现了。小狗刚出来,波比就过来舔它,好像它是一个失散已久的朋友。
妙招5 巧用强调句结构
[典例] That video was posted the day before Halloween.It was my brother who did that for amusement.
这段视频是在万圣节前一天发布的。那是我弟弟为了消遣才那样做的。
[即时训练1] 完成下列句子
1.回答不出老师的问题,所有学生们都保持沉默。(形容词短语作状语)
,all the students kept silent.
2.但当他向旁边看时,他立刻发现那根本不是一只狗,而是一只狼,很快就赶上了他。(时间状语从句和副词)
But ,he saw that it wasn’t a dog at all,but a wolf, catching up with him.
3.一团鲜红的烟雾笼罩着这只动物,让马克松了一口气的是,它向后一退,摇着头。(分词作状语)
A bright red cloud enveloped the animal,and to Mac’s relief,it fell back,
.
Unable to answer the teacher’s question
when he looked to the side
instantly
quickly
shaking its head
4.爸爸建议我们沿着这条河走,它可能会把我们带到农舍,似乎没有什么比那更好的了。(宾语从句和定语从句)
Dad proposed ___________________________________________________
____________and nothing seemed better than that.
5.Poppy如此兴奋,她想靠得更近,结果不小心撞倒了盒子。(倒装结构)
that she accidentally knocked over the box in an attempt to get closer.
6.果然,仅仅过了一会儿,这个毛球就从盒子里抬起头来,偷看它的新家和新朋友。(强调句)
Sure enough, the ball of fur lifted its head out of the box to peek at its new home and its new friend.
that we should walk along the river which may lead us to the
farm house
So excited was Poppy
it was only moments later that
技法2 吸睛结尾4妙招
精彩的结尾能给阅卷老师留下深刻的印象,有一个精彩的结尾对于读后续写得高分至关重要。文章常见的结尾方式有点题式、主题升华式、人生感悟式、寓情于景式等,合适的结尾方式能凸显文章主题,起到画龙点睛的作用。
妙招1 点题式
此类结尾就是在续写文章结尾时,通过一两句话点明文章主旨,突出文章的立意。一般可以通过总结阅读材料写出点题式结尾。
[典例] 2022年新高考卷讲了作者鼓励患有脑疾的David参与越野赛的故事,体现了坚定信念是成功的关键这一主旨,考生便可用“Such is the key to success—a little bit more efforts and determination will create a little more miracles.”作为结尾,直接点明主旨。
妙招2 主题升华式
主题升华式结尾是指在续写文章结尾时,通过一句高度凝练的话来对主题进行升华,使文章主题上升到一定的高度,给读者启示。这种话往往可采用一些名言或谚语。
[典例] 2022年浙江1月卷讲了作者与搭档一起做研究项目,由消极配合到积极参与,最终取得了良好的结果,体现了团队合作的重要性,考生便可用“Just as the saying goes,one person can go far,but a group of people can travel farther.”作为结尾,通过名言来结束全文,画龙点睛。
妙招3 人生感悟式
人生感悟式结尾是指在续写文章结尾时,用一两句话将故事主角从故事中悟出的人文情怀、人际关系、个人奋斗等方面的感受表达出来,故此类结尾通常从主角的第一视角发出。此类结尾宜用倒装句和强调句。
[典例] 2021年浙江6月卷讲述了作者原本不愿意将打工挣来的钱上交家庭,看到父母的辛劳,最后决定上交工资并有所感悟的故事,考生可从“我”的角度,用强调句“It was on that day that I realized what Dad had accomplished at my age was much greater than I did.”来结尾,体现对父母的理解。
妙招4 寓情于景式
寓情于景式结尾是指在续写文章结尾时,将情感融入特定的自然景物或生活场景中,借助对这些景物或场景的描写来抒发感情的一种方式,能使情和景互相感应,互相交融,互相依托。
[典例] 2023年浙江1月卷讲述了作者抢救蜂鸟,蜂鸟返回来感谢作者的故事,考生可通过“After a while,she made a squeak to me,hovered over me and then flew into the sky,which reminded me that we human beings should live in harmony with other living creatures.”描写作者与蜂鸟的互动,并引出人与自然和谐相处的主题。
[即时训练2] 补全并背诵下列句子
1.Sometimes,a small act of kindness may be powerful enough
.
有时候小小的善举可能足以产生巨大的影响。
2.She ,and believed there was kindness in every corner.
她在寒冷的日子里感受到了温暖,相信每个角落都有善意。
3.It is .
活到老,学到老。
to make a huge difference
felt warmth in the cold day
never too late to learn
4.Constant dropping .
滴水穿石。
5.The world the dreamer.
世界总会给有梦想的人开路。
6.Each man is .
每个人都是自己命运的建筑师。
wears the stone
makes way for
the architect of his own fate
课堂应用
(2025全国二卷)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
“What is your name ” is a question most frequently asked when people meet for the first time.But for me,it was the first challenge I encountered as an international student in Ireland.
The pronunciation system of the Chinese language is quite different from that of English.For native speakers of English,some Chinese words are rather difficult to pronounce.My given name Qiuyu(秋雨),for instance,happened to be a great challenge for many of them.Every time I gave a self-introduction,I had to explain how to pronounce my name at least five times,yet they still could not say it the way I did.
Once in a lecture,the professor tried repeating my name after me over and over in front of thirty classmates.I really did not know whether I should continue correcting him or simply drop the matter.I feared that my classmates might grow tired of my efforts or even lose patience with me.After all,I did care about how others would think of me.I realized that if I didn’t stop,the entire lecture would be ruined.“It’s okay,professor,” I shrugged (耸肩).The awkward moment ended with the class erupting into laughter.I forced a smile, unsure how to respond further.
After that incident,I stopped acting as a “Chinese teacher.” Instead of correcting others when they were struggling to pronounce my name,I just smiled and nodded approvingly.This approach spared me the discomfort of having to over-explain.However,I soon found that by doing so,I might be losing something more important:the opportunity to share a small part of my cultural identity.
注意:
(1)续写词数应为150个左右;
(2)请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
In a class discussion,I was invited to explain the meaning of my name.
Many of my classmates got interested and came up to me after class.
参考范文
In a class discussion,I was invited to explain the meaning of my name. “Qiuyu means ‘autumn rain’ in Chinese and carries a special charm in Chinese culture,” I began,with my voice trembling.“Autumn is when crops ripen,while rain brings life and peace.Together,Qiuyu symbolizes a gentle and refreshing presence after the heat of summer.My parents chose this name in the expectation that I’d bring calm and renewal to people’s lives.”As I spoke,the professor sounded out “Qiuyu” gently,and the class echoed softly.This time no giggles broke the silence—just nods admiring with curiosity and respect.I realized that correcting pronunciation wasn’t the point;sharing the story behind my name was what truly bridged cultures.
Many of my classmates got interested and came up to me after class.“Can you tell me how to write ‘Qiuyu’ in Chinese ” asked Jack,clutching a notebook.Other students were also looking at me curiously.While teaching them to write the characters,I was asked about Chinese culture and the pronunciation of other Chinese characters they know.Then one student shared what he knew about Chinese.We spent nearly an hour exchanging stories about Chinese names and traditions.From that day on,“Qiuyu” floated freely in our conversation,no longer a barrier but a bridge,connecting China and Ireland. Whenever someone mispronounced it,I would smile and say,“Let me tell you its meaning.”(共40张PPT)
第3讲 精雕细琢,学会描写细节
方式1 写动作——活情节
在续写中,利用恰当的动词进行符合特定情境的动作描写,真实准确地描述动作过程,以“动”传神,适当利用契合人物性格特点的心理描写和对话描写,使续写部分更为生动。
动作描写应把握三个原则:(1)要准确:表现一个动作可以利用许多动词,但应恰当利用最准确的动词,刻画对应的动作。(2)有过程:展示出人物面部、肢体、语言等个性的动作。(3)用修饰:在描写动作时,可利用各种状语,说明时间、地点、原因、伴随等情况,构建动作画面感。
[典例]Finally John started his long walk.Having trekked for two hours, he came to the deep forest.Besides the rustling(沙沙声) of trees,the wood was in a deathly silence.He quickened up and held onto the bat tightly.Abruptly,a terrible howl,which sounded like a wolf,broke the silence and frightened him. He jumped to his feet and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.He didn’t stop running until he saw a flash of light at a distance,moving quickly towards him.
At that time,a car was drawing closer. John was dashing toward the car and waving.The driver Frank noticed him and rolled down the window, asking cautiously why he was alone at night.Hearing that there were probably wolves in the forest,Frank offered to give him a lift.John jumped in the car swiftly.Thanks to Frank’s help,John managed to reach the destination at 5:30 am.With the sun rising from the horizon,John’s face glowed (洋溢着) with gratitude.Feeling energetic,he couldn’t wait to get started.
点评 全文内容和结构符合原文的逻辑发展。其中动作描写贯穿全文,推动着情节的发展。
第一段续写的内容紧扣首句中的关键词long walk,高级词汇与词块trekked,quickened up,held onto,jumped to his feet,ran as fast as his legs could carry him等构成动作链,增强了叙述的画面感。
第二段首句出现car,利用汽车为切入点,John was dashing toward the car衔接极为流畅自然。之后司机的行为noticed,rolled down,asking cautiously等动词(短语)用词均很贴切。
[即时训练1]用动作描写完成语段
1.① ,they ② , feeling the precious peace from within.
他们站在空旷的路边,仰望天空,发自内心地感受着珍贵的宁静。
2.① ,Lucy ② ,
“I volunteer.”
被老师的话鼓舞,露西举起了手,小声说,“我来。”
Standing beside the empty road
looked up into the sky
Encouraged by the teacher’s words
raised her hand,whispering
3.While ① from high above,I was amazed
② had crushed the fence and
③ for the inviting garlic bread.
当我从高处俯瞰那只熊时,我惊讶地发现这个固执的家伙压碎了栅栏,朝我们的营地走去,准备吃诱人的蒜蓉面包。
4.He began ① before Harry and Wormtail,eyes
② all the while.After a minute or so,he
③ Harry again,a cruel smile twisting his snakelike face.
他开始在哈利和虫尾巴面前走来走去,眼睛始终扫视着墓地。过了大约一分钟,他再次低头看着哈利,蛇一般的脸上扭曲着一丝残酷的微笑。
overlooking the bear
to spot this stubborn guy
headed towards our camp
to pace up and down
sweeping the graveyard
looked down at
5.With his arms ① ,Beibei ② ,③ whether he was right or wrong.
贝贝坐在泳池边,双臂低垂,思考自己是对还是错。
dropping
sat beside the pool
wondering
方式2 写情绪——表心情
情绪描写是情感线中必不可少的细节描写之一。合理的情感描写与刻画可以让心情(高兴、悲伤、犹豫、惊恐、好奇、愤怒等)表达更加有画面感。 这可以凸显人物的性格、人际关系的特征以及烘托故事高潮,进而突出语篇主题等。考生可以从原材料中体会作者相应的情绪,借助情绪的延续,以此为衔接进行续写。
情绪层次的描写:
1.直接利用恰当的表情感的形容词、副词或名词、介词短语等表达人物的喜怒哀乐情绪。比如,用happy,delighted,pleased,joyful,enjoyable,surprised, shocked,amazed,astonished,to one’s surprise,in relief,in panic等描述人物的情绪。
2.利用恰当的动作和神态描写反映人物的情绪。
With no path to follow,Jane just walked on for quite a long time.After she had climbed to a high place,she turned around,hoping to see the lake.(动作描写,说明Jane满怀期望) To her surprise,(利用介词短语体现Jane的吃惊)she saw nothing but forest and,far beyond,a snow-capped mountain top.(寓情于景,体现Jane的失落)She suddenly realized that she was lost.
3.利用环境描写,融情于景,烘托人物的情感。
Della finished her crying and dried her face.She stood by the window and looked out unhappily at a gray cat walking along a gray fence in a gray backyard.[小说《麦琪的礼物》中3次使用形容词gray,体现了Della的难受和不开心。]
[典例]Dad looked quickly and smiled,“Yes,it is not there!” “But who would like to buy that silly dress ” Mom was greatly surprised.Father said casually,“Forget it.Maybe someone rich would buy it for his wife.” Hearing the words,Mother forced a smile and murmured,“Yes,she will be moved to tears.” My father realized she felt disappointed.However,a smile appeared on his face.It was the mysterious smile that immediately clicked (使豁然开朗)me. I knew upon imagining the scene that moves my mom deeply when receiving the gift,he felt delighted.
I’ll never forget that morning of Mother’s birthday when Father handed her a box.Father exclaimed,“Happy birthday!” eyeing his wife expectantly (期待地).As Mother opened the box,the twinkling stars on the dress touching her heart deeply.She screamed.Turning around,she complained,“You shouldn’t waste money.” However,the beautiful red satin dress melted her heart,so soon the complaint disappeared.Her palms sweating,throat tightening and tears streaming down her face,she was touched beyond words.Among all the nice moments in her life,never would she forget this moving one.
点评 (文中铺灰底部分)文章的画面感强,让人读了能够在脑海中呈现出感人的画面,与阅读材料所传递的主题相符合。另外,内容环环相扣,段落间衔接紧密而自然,条理清楚,语言流畅,可读性、逻辑性强。
第一段中的设计主要是发生在车上,母亲提出疑问→父亲漫不经心地回答→父亲想象妻子收到礼物的情景。在第二段中,父亲送母亲礼物→母亲情感的变化(抱怨→感动)。
另外,文章句式丰富,能够巧妙运用独立主格结构、倒装句、分词作状语及状语从句等。用词多样化、生动,如:melt,exclaim,click等,这使文章增色不少。同时,细节描写真实,故事情节合理,扣人心弦。
[即时训练2]用情绪描写完成语段
1.He ① and hit his chest,② aggressively.
他勃然大怒,捶打着胸口,咄咄逼人地瞪着我们。
2.As the little prince dropped off to sleep,I ① and set out walking once more.I ② .It seemed to me that I was carrying a very fragile treasure.It seemed to me,even, that there was nothing ③ on all Earth.
小王子睡着了,我就把他抱在怀里,又重新上路了。我深受感动,也很激动。我觉得我抱着一个脆弱的宝贝。在我看来,地球上再没有比这更脆弱的东西了。
flew into a rage
glaring at us
took him in my arms
felt deeply moved and excited
more fragile
3.Betty continued,“The volunteer doctors are coming tomorrow with vaccines. Can you help ” “I’d love to,” Ada replied at once,① .
They looked at each other merrily ② .
贝蒂继续说:“志愿医生明天就会带着疫苗来。你能帮忙吗 ”“我很乐意去做。”艾达立刻回答道,高兴地跳了起来。她们愉快地看着对方,微笑照亮了房间。
jumping with great joy
with their smiles lighting up the room
4.At this very moment,Sirin could no longer resist her anger.“You are always busy!” she ① ,tears streaming down and eyes
② .“I hate you!”③ ,grabbed the painting on the table and tore it in half.④ ,her mom and dad couldn’t say a word.
就在这时,西琳再也无法抑制她的愤怒了。“你们总是很忙!”她像火山一样爆发,眼泪流下来,眼睛闪烁着愤怒。“我恨你们”,她咆哮着,抓起桌子上的画,把它撕成两半。震惊和内疚,她父母一句话也没说。
erupted like a volcano
shining with irritation
She roared
Shocked and guilty
方式3 写心理——读内心
心理描写可以揭示人物的内心世界,表达人物的性格、特点、感情和思想等。心理描写可以运用直接描写和间接描写两种方法:
1.直接描写:直接写主人公的想法、感受、打算等,在具体写作时,可用“I felt” “she thought” “he would” 等句式。
2.间接描写:人物的性格不同,情绪不同,其所表现出的动作和神态也就不同,因此可以利用人物的动作和神态体现其心理,也可以利用语言描写表现人物心理。
[典例]“Hi!Before eight o’clock,you can wait in the cafeteria or here if you want,” came a familiar voice. I turned around and saw that it was the teacher who received us on the orientation.She looked at me gently,as if there were stars in her eyes.I forgot the loss in an instant.She held my hand and told me that we could play with the toys on the shelves in the classroom.The teacher would teach us a lot of interesting knowledge in class and we could play games together after class.I was happy to be with her,so I spent my first day at school happily.
As the day went on,I realized I had no reason to cry.When school was over,my sister picked me up.When we got in the car,my mother asked me how my day had been.I told my mother,“Mom,I think I have to work.” Mom laughed,“Then I think you should stop resisting going to school.” I laughed too.I think the school life in the future should be full of fun and sweet,together with my favorite teachers and friends.
点评 (文中铺灰底部分)文中通过一系列动作和情绪描述,发展了情节和情感两条线,叙述了一个刚开始上学的小女孩的故事。在教室里,她遇见了自己喜欢的老师,开心地度过了小学的第一天,最后出现了心理上的变化:由对学校的抵触到高兴地接受。文章最后揭示了孩子的心理,表明了对学校的看法,使人物性格、情绪变化跃然纸上;使故事情节线和情感线交织发展,故事高潮迭起。
[即时训练3]用心理描写完成句子或语段
1.Seeing the tent,I ,“I want to experience the outside world”.
看到帐篷,我感觉它在叹气,并且说:“我想体验一下外面的世界”。
2.As I started my car,I .
当我发动汽车时,我意识到我的朋友把他的卡车钥匙留在了庭院里。
3.Though Jesse’s bad eyesight was a tough problem,he
.The tall and thin boy fell down halfway many times because the road was rough and he couldn’t see it clearly.
虽然杰西的视力不好是一个棘手的问题,但作为一个勇敢的人,他仍然决心去尝试一下,因为路很崎岖,他看不清楚,这个又高又瘦的男孩多次半路摔倒。
felt as if it had been sighing and saying
realized that my friend had left his truck keys in the court
was still determined to give it a try as a brave person
4.Inspired by them,he ① .Finally,he reached the top with the guidance of his parents.Although exhausted and breathless,he ② and yelled with excitement,“I made it!”
受到他们的启发,他咬紧牙关,坚持要爬上去。最后,他在父母的指导下达到了顶峰。虽然筋疲力尽,喘不过气来,但他充满了喜悦,兴奋地喊道:“我做到了!”
set his teeth and insisted on climbing up
was full of joy
方式4 写环境/场景——造氛围
环境描写要把握四个原则:①选择与主题和情节设置一致的环境要素,以营造故事发生的特定环境。②所选的景物一定要运用所学的词汇和句法进行细致深入的描写。③添加附加信息,如天气变化和周边的景物等,如昏暗的路灯、摇曳的树影等。④环境细节描写一定要与动作和心理活动等相结合,才能更好地完成续写任务。
[典例]阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整短文。
On Sunday,Nicholas,a teenager,went skiing with his father at Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine.They had a wonderful day and decided to drive home to Massachusetts after a final run.They took a chairlift(升降椅) to the top of the mountain,where they split up to go down in different trails.When the father finished his run,he headed to the parking lot to wait for his son.However, Nicholas never showed up.
It turned out that a fierce snowstorm had swept into the area as Nicholas was on his way down.Unable to see far,he accidentally turned off the path and ventured (冒险) down the west side of the mountain.Before he knew it, Nicholas was lost and all alone.His way back to the ski trails was blocked. What was worse,he didn’t have any food or water with him,let alone his cellphone or other supplies.The sun began to sink and he was getting colder by the minute.
Nicholas had no idea where he was.He tried not to panic.He thought about Bear Grylls’ survival show Man vs.Wild that he used to watch on TV.In the show,Grylls is abandoned in a wild area and has to help himself out.It was time to put the tips he had learned to use.
He decided to stop moving around.He needed the energy,and the winds weren’t as strong in the valley where he stood as they were up on the mountain. Plus,there was a better chance of someone finding him if he stayed put.The first thing he did was to seek shelter from the freezing wind and snow.
Using his skis,Nicholas built a snow cave.He gathered a huge mass of snow and dug out a hole in the middle.Then he piled branches on top of himself,like a blanket,to stay as warm as he could.
When evening came,Nicholas was really hungry.He ate some snow and drank some water from nearby stream so that he wouldn’t dehydrate (脱水). Then he returned to his cave and slept.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
When Nicholas didn’t show up,his father realized there must be something wrong.
The next day,Nicholas heard the sound of a snowmobile.
点评 Nicholas和爸爸一起滑雪,暴风雪突然来临,Nicholas因偏离滑雪道而迷路了,之后他用所学的知识镇定地应对寒冷与饥饿,等待救援。第一段首句译文:当Nicholas没有出现的时候,他的爸爸意识到一定是出了什么事。第二段首句译文:第二天,Nicholas听到了雪地摩托车的声音。
基于第一段的框架,考生可以补充以下细节:周围的环境描写(太阳下山了,气温下降,凸显救援的紧迫性)→爸爸的动作描写(冷静下来打电话报警)→警察的动作描写(分析地形后骑雪地摩托车寻找)→周围的环境描写(天完全黑了,又下起了大雪,风呼号着,凸显救援的困难以及 Nicholas的危险处境)→Nicholas的心理活动描写(虽然害怕,但坚信会活下来)。
基于第二段的框架,考生可以补充以下细节:Nicholas的动作与语言描写(听到雪地摩托车的声音,兴奋地大喊救命)→周围的环境描写(猛烈的风淹没了他的声音)→爸爸的动作描写(找到儿子后,紧紧拥抱儿子哭泣)→感悟。
[即时训练4]用环境/场景描写完成续写
When Nicholas didn’t show up,his father realized there must be something wrong.When ① (太阳下山),
② (气温下降).He soon calmed down and turned to the police for help.After analyzing the map of
③ (又大又高的山),they rode snowmobiles immediately to the possible place where Nicholas was trapped.
④ (天完全黑了,又下起了大雪) again.All around was ⑤ (呼号着的风).Frightened as Nicholas was,he believed he would survive from
⑥ (寒冷的风雪).
the sun was setting
the temperature was becoming lower
the vast and high mountain
It was completely dark and the snow fell
the howling wind
the freezing wind and snow
The next day,Nicholas heard the sound of a snowmobile.Excited,he shouted back desperately “Help!Help!” But
⑦ (风吹得很猛烈) that his voice was swallowed.Fortunately,they found him.His father hugged him tightly and cried.⑧ (他们脚下的冻雪融化了) in their warm heart.For Nicholas,what a thrilling but memorable experience!
the wind was blowing so fiercely
The frozen snow under their feet melted
方式5 写人物——塑形象
人物描写主要包括外貌、品格、性格和言行等方面。进行外貌描写时,可写对一个人的总体印象,也可以抓住人物重要的外貌特征或性格、品格等特点进行描述。如对妈妈性格的描写,可采用loving,sweet,absent-minded和forgetful等形容词,使一个可爱又健忘的妈妈的形象跃然纸上。也可以具体描述人物的五官、着装,甚至可以配上动作描写。也可写你对人物印象最深的一两点,再加上一两句人物评价。
[典例] Alice is 20 years old.She is a little overweight.But she is tall and fair-skinned,so she looks healthy.Her hair is jet-blacked and straight.She has a very pleasant smile and she always has a twinkle in her eyes.When she smiles, Alice’s special dimples(酒窝) will appear.When working,she always puts on her glasses.She always dresses very elegantly and neatly.Because of her kindness,we all like her very much.
点评(文中铺灰底部分)全文内容对 Alice的描写包括总体印象(a little overweight)、外貌(tall and fair-skinned,has a twinkle in her eyes,special dimples)、品格(kindness)、性格(has a very pleasant smile)等方面都进行了描述。集中展现了Alice一个完美的形象,仿佛Alice就站在读者的面前。
[即时训练5] 用人物描写完成句子
1.He is a very person.
他是一个很有决心的、意志坚强的人。
2. ,he explained that climbing brought him not only joy but also a sense of satisfaction.
他那晒黑的脸上带着骄傲的微笑,他解释说,登山不仅给他带来了快乐,还带来了一种满足感。
3.She hurried up the steps, .
她急忙走上台阶,看起来神情紧张,脸色苍白。
determined and strong-willed
With a proud smile on his tanned face
looking nervous and pale
课堂应用
(2023新课标Ⅰ卷)
When I was in middle school,my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest,I said no without thinking.I did not love writing.My family came from Brazil,so English was only my second language.Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play,where I played all the parts.No one laughed harder than he did.
So,why did he suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail His reply:“Because I love your stories.If you’re willing to apply yourself,I think you have a good shot at this.”Encouraged by his words,I agreed to give it a try.
I chose Paul Revere’s horse as my subject.Paul Revere was a silversmith(银匠) in Boston who rode a horse at night on April 18,1775 to Lexington to warn people that British soldiers were coming.My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth.Not a brilliant idea,but funny,and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice.
What did the horse think,as he sped through the night Did he get tired Have doubts Did he want to quit I sympathized immediately.I got tired.I had doubts.I wanted to quit.But,like Revere’s horse,I kept going.I worked hard.I checked my spelling.I asked my older sister to correct my grammar.I checked out a half-dozen books on Paul Revere from the library.I even read a few of them.
When I handed in the essay to my teacher,he read it,laughed out loud and said,“Great.Now,write it again.” I wrote it again,and again and again.When I finally finished it,the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing.If I didn’t win.I wouldn’t care.
注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;
2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
A few weeks later,when I almost forgot the contest,there came the news.
I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.
参考范文
A few weeks later,when I almost forgot the contest,there came the news. To my delight,I won first place.My teacher was very delighted,and my classmates stared at me in disbelief.The following week,the winners met with the head of the sponsoring organization.We were standing in the office waiting for the presentation when a woman came in,whispering something to him. Then he cleared his throat and explained that there had been an embarrassing mistake.I was now the second-place winner.
I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.Tears in eyes,I expressed my doubts.Our entries were anonymous.How could she have known which child had won what My teacher comforted me and told me that winning was not important,but what mattered was that I took the first step and should keep going.From that day on,I got a taste for writing.I learned to respect a writer’s labor and perseverance.And—despite the challenges of writing disabilities and English as a second language—I never stopped writing.
