评分标准、范例评分、满分作文
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课件60张PPT。把握英语写作评分标准 提高英语写作的针对性书面表达评分标准一、评分原则
1、 本题总分为25分，按5个档次给分。
2、评分时，先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。
3、词数少于80或多于120的，从总分中减去2分。
4、评分时，应注意的主要内容为：内容要点，应用词汇和语法结构的数量和准确性、上下文的连贯及语言的得体性。书面表达评分标准5、拼写与标点是语言准确性的一个方面，
评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以
考虑。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。
6、如书写较差，以至影响交际，将分数
降低一个档次。
二、各档次的给分 范围与要求第五档（很好）（21—25分)
完全完成了试题规定的任务。
—覆盖所有内容要点。
—应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。
—语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或高级词汇所致；具有较强的语言运用能力。
—有效地使用了句间的连接成份，使全文结构紧凑。
完全达到了预期的写作目的。
第四档（好）（16-20分）完全完成了试题规定的任务。
—虽然漏掉一、二个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容。
—应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的需要。
—语法结构会词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试叫复杂语法结构或词汇所致。
—应用简单的语句间的连接成份，使全文结构紧凑。
达到了预期的写作目的。基本完成了试题规定的任务。
—虽然漏掉了一些内容，但覆盖所有主要内容。
—应用的语法结构或词汇能满足任务的要求。
—有一些语法结构或方面的错误，但不影响理解。
—应用简单的语句间的连接成分，是全文连贯。
整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。第三档（适当）（11-15分）第二档（较差）（6-10分）未恰当完成试题规定的任务。
—漏掉或未描写清楚一些主要内容，写了一些无关内容。
—语法结构单调、词汇项目有限。
—有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解。
—较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺少连贯性。
信息未能清楚地传达给读者。 第一档（差）（1-5分）未完成试题规定的任务。
—明显遗漏主要内容，写了一些无关内容，原因可能是未能理解试题要求。
—语法结构单调，词汇项目有限。
—较多语法或词汇方面的错误，影响对写作内容的理解。
—缺乏语句间的连接成分，内容不连贯。
信息未能传达给读者。0分 未能传达给读者任何信息；内容太少，无法评判。写的内容均与所要求的内容无关或所写内容无法看清。三、说明1、内容要点可用不懂方式表达。
2、对紧扣主题的适当发挥不予扣分。
3、书面表达的内容须符合逻辑、语言得体。1. 多实少虚 :nice 2. 短语优先：I cannot bear it.
I want it. generous, humorous, interesting, smart, gentle, warm-hearted, hospitalI cannot put up with it.
I am looking forward to it. ３弃旧取新:Ｗe all have the same chance.
There are more opponents.possessopportunityexist学生过街在车辆中穿行危险。1. It’s very dangerous for the students to go through the traffic.2. Students are risking their lives when threading their way among cars.社会应加强对学生的交通安全教育。1. The students should be taught more about the traffic safety.2. And also it is of great use to strengthen the traffic safety education over the students.1.We all think he is a great man.
2. As a result the plan was a failure.
3. She went there in order to study music.
4. In our school, there are twenty-six classrooms.We all of him .The plan to be a failure.She went there studying music.Our school twenty–six classrooms.think highlyturned outfor the purpose ofis made up of5. You can find my house easily.
6. Because the weather was good, our journey
was comfortable.
7. Suddenly I thought out a good idea.You’ll finding my house. A good idea to me. the good weather, our journey was comfortable.have no troubleA good idea suddenly me.Thanks tooccurredstruck 运用多种语法结构，句式灵活多变，可以使文章增色不少。1. When he arrives, please give me an e-mail.（使用V-ing形式）.
2. To his surprise, the little girl knows so many things.（使用名词性从句）
3. He came in and there was a baby in his arms. (用with结构)
, please give me an e-mail. is that the little girl knows so many things.On his arrivingWhat surprises himHe came in , with a baby in his arms.4.(由于不知道他的电话，他没法跟Mary联系)(用非谓语）
5. He did not know what had happened until he had read the news in the newspaper.(使用强调句型)
6. Tom and Mary like singing songs.( 使用倒装）It was not until he had read the news in the newspaper that ，he can’t get in touch with Tom Not knowing his telephone number he knew what had happened.Tom likes singing songs, Mary.so does7. She walked out of the lab and many students followed her. (使用过去分词)
8. When he spoke, he felt more and more excited.（使用句型结构）
9. Because the weather is fine, many people went to climb the Western hill. by many students, she walked out of the lab. , a large number of people went to climb the Western Hills. he spoke, excited he felt.FollowedThe more the moreThe weather being fine 一篇好的书面表达，还应该行文连贯流畅，具有“逻辑美”。使用恰当连接词，能使文章上下衔接自然、紧凑，使文章更为地道，更具“英语味”。记得使用恰当的连接词，如: soon, immediately, suddenly, in front of, next to, on one hand, on the other hand, however, though, otherwise, thanks to, as a result (of), so long as, on condition that, even if/though, what’s more, besides, to make the matter worse, I’m afraid, you know, As we all know…This village is very small. It used to be very poor. It has changed a lot since 1978 . This village is a small one with/which has nearly 100 families and about 500 people. It used to be very poor. However, it has changed a lot since 1978 .
Last Sunday, two Young Pioneers were on their way to the Children’s Palace . They saw a box fall off a passing truck. They shouted “stop” to the driver at the top of their voice. Last Sunday, two Young Pioneers were on their way to the Children’s Palace when they saw a box fall off a passing truck. Without delay, they shouted “stop” to the driver at the top of their voice. 语意要合情合理，过渡自然 语句要有简有繁，随“意”而安语法要结构正确，无懈可击语言要地道流畅，书写规范书面表达(满分30分)
当前不少文学作品被改编成电影。有人选择看电影，有人则喜欢读原著。请你以“Film or book, which do you prefer?”为题，按照下列要点写一篇英语短文：
1．看电影：省时、有趣、易懂
2．读原著：细节更多、语言优美
3．我的看法及理由
注意： 1．词数100-120，文章题目和开头己给出(不计词数)
2．参考词汇：original work或book in the original(原著) 06年浙江省高考英语作文字迹潦草，抄阅读文章中的句子，不知所云.得分为0分 语言素质欠缺;基本功差;语句毛病多;大小写;标点符号;书写不清等等;得6分.语言流畅;层次分明，表达基本准确，但有少许语言错误;得27分Make still further progress!杭州第十四中学应届毕业生 沈书勤 英语总分145分 本篇作文得分27分) 阅卷教师喜欢什么样的作文? 字迹工整,卷面整洁；
紧扣主题,条理清晰；
语言地道,过渡自然；
长度适中.一气呵成．
黄会健---评卷学科组组长阅卷教师 讨厌什么样的作文? 涂涂抹抹，斑斑点点；
层次不清，段落不分；
语句不通，杂乱无章；
书写潦草，卷面不洁； 满分/高分作文的共同点：
1、审题准确
2、要点齐全
3、语言优美（语法结构和词汇）
4、结构连贯（文章整体结构和行文逻辑）5、书写工整 评分标准对高分作文的要求：
1、审题准确
2、要点齐全
3、语言优美
4、文章连贯
5、书写工整保证核心前提注重积累注重训练评分样例:
假设你是李华,你的英国笔友Bob将于九月到你所在城市的建新华文学校学中文，来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请根据图画提
供的信息，写信介绍住房的情况，并告知住房面积为25平方米，月租500元。
注意：
1．词数：100左右：
2．参考词汇：房租Tent(n.).
Dear Bob,
How are you these days? I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese. You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which I think is pretty good.
The place is on Fang Cao Street which is near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin Chinese School. There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.
Yours,
Li Hua 满分理由
本文内在逻辑性很强，由远及近，由外及内，层次分明。同时让步状语从句等语言运用得恰到好处，很出彩，再则结构完整，从开头的问候语到结尾都很完备。例1
Dear Bob,
It was great to hear from you and I am very glad you will be coming here to study Chinese.
I have done some research for you and found a nice apartment, which is only one bus stop away from your school. It is not that big, only 25 square metres, but I think it is fine for your needs.
It consists of a small bathroom, a kitchen and a bedroom. The rent is 500 yuan per month. Is this suitable to your budget? If not, please let me know ASAP so I can make further arrangements for you.
Looking forward to meeting you.
King Regards,
Li Hua点评：
1 本文用词107个。
2 文章覆盖了所有内容要点。
3 运用了较多的句子结构和词汇，如If not的省略结构、同位结构、
定语从句以及budget、ASAP、king regards、do some
research、consist of、make furtherarrangements、look
forward to等词汇，语言变化多姿，错落有致。
4 时态的运用准确、规范，如“It was great…”、“…you will be
coming…”等，显示了较强的语言运用能力。文中有效地使用了
语句间的连接成分，
5 全文结构紧凑,语言得体，如“Is this suitable to your budget?”，
恰当地表达了征询的语气。文中的“great、fine、one stop away”
等词汇，虽然司空见惯，但在平时习作中却用者寥寥。
总之，本文个性化色彩浓，雅俗共赏，完全达到了预期的写作目的。
（本文属于第五档次，可得满分）例2
Dear Bob,
Glad to hear from you.
Now let me tell you what you want to know. I’ve found a house for you.Take a bus to the Fang Cao street, and you’ll see a building on the right, and your room is on the third floor.
I think it is a suitable room for you, which covers 25 square metres. There are a bed room, a kitchen room and a bath room in it. With a bed and a sofa, the bedroom is really nice. Besides, the bath room and the kitchen are also pretty good.
I hope you would like it!
Yours,
Li Hua点评：
1本文用词101个。
2该文基本覆盖文章所有主要内容，但漏掉了一些次重点，如“离学校一站远”等。
3文章中还是能发现一些错误，如There be结构中be动词的数出现错误。语言的得体性方面有所欠缺，比如首句过于非正式，第三句的祈使句应用不符合本文的文体。第二段的定语从句的使用也比较牵强。
4但是，本文应用的语法结构和词汇能满足写作任务的要求，语言表达较流畅，能运用简单的语句间的连接成分，如besides等，全文结构较紧凑。个别错误也是属于尝试使用较复杂结构所致。
（本文属于第四档次，可得16分）例3
Dear Bob,
I’m writing to tell you something about the house, which you will live in when you learn chinese at Jian Xin Chinese School this September.
It is in Fang Cao street, near which there is a bus station.It is convenient for you to take the No. 11 bus to the school. The house is very suitable with a bethroom, a kitchen and a bedroom. In the bedroom, stand a bed and a desk with a light.
Wish you have a good time. And you will be good at Chinese.
Yours,
Li Hua点评：
1 本文用词91个.
2漏掉一些内容，如“面积”、“月租500元”等”，但基本上完成了试题规定的任务.
3 有一些词汇拼写错误，如chinese, Fang Cao street, bethroom等；也有一些词汇的运用错误，如house和stand分别应该改为 apartment和lie；还有一些结构运用的错误，如Wish you have a good time.等。两个定语从句的使用都比较牵强。最后一个句子也有中国式英语的嫌疑。
4 但总体上这些错误没有影响理解。文章中也能应用像convenient、take the bus、不定式复合结构等简单的
语句和词汇及简单的语句；全文结构尚连贯。
（本文属于第三档次，可得12分）假设你是李越,你的加拿大笔友Steve来信说,他和他的一些同学正在学中文,请你推荐两本学中文的词典.根据下表提供的信息,请你给他写一封回信.例1
Dear Steve,
Very glad to see your letter.
I heard you are learning Chinese. I very glad to hear that. There are two dictionary to recommend you. The first one, the English-Chinese dictionary Chinese English Dictionary It has 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese that cost only 52 yuan, there are lots of examples and how do you used it, that first learn used it very well. The other one is Xinhua Dictionary. It has 10,000 words, only coast 11 yuan, there are usually uses Chinese dictionary it’s very wonderful. So, I hope you are learning well.
I will listen to your goodlider. 例1
Very glad to see your letter.（中国式英语）
I heard you are learning Chinese. I very glad to hear that. There are two dictionary to recommend you.
（本段出现时态不协调、谓语缺失、忽视名词的数等语法
错误）The first one, the English-Chinese dictionary Chinese English Dictionary（不成句子）. It has 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese that cost only 52 yuan, （误用从句）
there are lots of examples and how do you used it, that first learn used it very well. （句子不平衡，影响了理解）The other one is Xinhua Dictionary. It has 10,000 words, only coast 11 yuan, there are usually uses Chinese dictionary it’s very wonderful.（句式单调，没有层次，没有“句子”的概念）
So, I hope you are learning well. （中国式英语）I will listen to your goodlider. （不知所云，信息未能传达）
（本文属于第二档次，可得9分）例2
Dear Steve,
I’ve received your letter and know that you want me to recommend two dictionaries to you and your classmates who are learning Chinese now. I think the English-Chinese Chinese-English Dictionary which cost 52yuan is useful to learners who has already began to learn. It includes 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese words. It offers you examples of how to use these words.Another dictionary called Xinhua is also very good. It contains 10,000characters,which used most frequently in China, so you can find the usual meaning in XD easily. And it is cheaper. You spend only 11 yuan to get one.
I hope those two dictionaries can help you with your Chinese study and wish you make progress in your studying!例2
Dear Steve,
I’ve received your letter and know that you want me to
recommend two dictionaries to you and your classmates
who are learning Chinese now. （句子从语法上讲是正确
的，但比较拖沓）I think the English-Chinese Chinese-
English Dictionary which cost 52yuan is useful to learners
who has already began to learn. (使用两个定语从句显得不
精炼)It includes 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese
words.It offers you examples of how to use these words（正
确使用动词offer）. Another dictionary called Xinhua is
also very good. It contains 10,000characters, which used
most frequently in China, （used应该改为被动语态；此错
为尝试较复杂结构而产生）so you can find the usual meaning in XD easily. And
it is cheaper. You spend only 11 yuan to get one. （正确
使用了比较结构和不定式结构）
I hope those two dictionaries can help you with your
Chinese study and wish you make progress in your
studying!（wish结构使用错误）
（本文属于第四档次，可得19分）
例1 （本文属于第五档次，可得24分）
Dear Steve,
Thank you very much for your last letter which asked me
something about how to choose a dictionary for learning
Chinese. Here I strongly recommend you the following
two which may be useful to you.（本段使用了两个定语从句）
One of them is the English-Chinese/Chinese-English
Dictionary (ECCED), which will cost you 52 yuan. It contains
some 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese words.
（使用contain和some等词汇）As it has lots of examples
showing how to use the words, it will be much valuable for
the beginners like you.（本句使用了较复杂的结构，包含了
as从句，现在分词短语how to结构）
The other one, Xinhua Dictionary (XD), which charges you
only 11 yuan and has a collection of 10,000 Chinese words.
（本句使用了非限制性定语从句以及同位结构，并正确使用了
charge和a collection of等词汇）It is the most commonly used
one in China.
If you need my help with your Chinese please write to me.Dear Bob,
How are you these days?
I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese.
You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which
I think is pretty good. The place is on Fang Cao Street which is
near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin
Chinese School.
There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom.
Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is
suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope
you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.
Yours,
Li Hua
满分理由
本文内在逻辑性很强，由远及近。由外及内，层次分明，
错落有致。同时让步状语从句运用得恰到好处，很出彩，
再则结构完整，从开头的问候语到结尾都很完备。 Dear Bob, Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you. I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin
Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms
in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa,
a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres
and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just
take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only
one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then
I’U be able to meet you at the airport, see you. Best wishes ! Yours, Li Hua ??? 满分理由 本文格式正确，内容完整，表述清楚，衔接紧密流畅，
时态语态使用准确，特别是结尾末段适度的发挥，既充实了内容，
又符合逻辑，成为本文与众不同的亮点。 I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go
to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on
Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11
can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat
is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two
are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs
in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month.
Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your
needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place. Hope you will come here soon! All the best! Yours, Li Hua ??? 满分理由 本文格式正确，意思表述完整，行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用，
还使用了以‘which，’引导的非限定性定语从句，从而使文章层次分明，富于变化，
不愧为考场佳作。 Dear Bob, I’m glad to hear from you. Welcome to our city in september. I’ve found a suitable house for you. The house is on Fang Cao Street, not far from the Jianxin Chinese School.
If you take the No.11 bus, it is just one stop. It is a flat on the third floor of a building. It has three rooms, a living-room,
a bathroom and a kitchen. You can cook yourself. The mirror, the basin and
the bathtub are very convenient for you. In the living-room, there is a bed, a
sofa and a desk with chair. The desk is next to the window. It will be good for
study. The total size is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan a month. Will you be satisfied with this flat, or you want another one? Just let me
know. I’ll try my best to help you. Yours, Li Hua ??? 满分理由 本文内容详实，描述具体细腻，用词适当准确，如“suitable house”、
“not far from’’等，另外文中的选择疑问句也很有新意。?重庆卷：满分范文一 Dear Amy,
I?m Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China.
I?m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which
brought you great pain. But you should realize that you
are young and have a promising great future. So, stand
up and fight against the disease! I?m sure you will win.
It is reported that the America anti?cancer association
will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you
receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and
ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough
money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon.
Yours,
Li Hua
名师点评：
本文依照要求，涵盖了所有要点。文章使用了高中常见
的句式，如I?m sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，
都比较好。作者对定语从句的使用恰到好处地修饰了文章，
行文自然而通顺，值得学习。
积累卡片
好词1.realize v.意识到2.promise v.允诺3.donate v.捐赠
好句1. I?m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer
which brings you great pain.
我很遗憾地得知你身患肺癌，给你带来了巨大的痛苦。
好处：which引导限制性定语从句。
2. So, stand up and fight against the disease!
因此，坚强地与疾病做斗争吧！
好处：掷地有声，语言准确。 满分文(二)
Dear Amy,
My name is Li Hua, a student from Xinhua Middle School in China.
I have got to know that you got lung cancer and are in great pain. Sorry
to hear that. But since you are young, the disease won?t be very
serious and you can beat it. It is said that the more letters you receive,
the more money the America anti?cancer association will donate. For
every letter, they give three cents. So I will try as hard as possible to
persuade my friends to write to you so as to help you get enough money
to cure the disease. I?m sure you will be OK soon.
Yours,
Li Hua
名师点评：
文章整体来说一气呵成，衔接自然。通过诸如原因状语从句的使用，
使得文章内容饱满，过渡自然，较好地使用了诸如but，so之类的连词。
文章使用了“the +比较级，the +比较级”的句式，十分出彩。
积累卡片
好词1. cure v.治愈2. association n.协会3.donate v.捐赠
好句1. But since you are young, the disease won’t be very serious
and you can beat it.
但是因为你还比较年轻，疾病不会很严重，你能够战胜它。
好处：since，引导原因状语从句。
2. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the
America anti-cancer association will donate.
据说你收到的信越多，美国抗癌组织捐给你的钱就越多。
好处：the +比较级，表示强调。 全国卷II：满分范文一 Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel!
Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business.
500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, it provides single?person room, of which the price is RMB100 yuan per day and the number is 20, and 15 double?person rooms, with a price of RMB 150 yuan per day. It also provides hot water bath service. You can enjoy both Chinese and western food in the restaurant and drink coffee and tea in the cafe. The swimming pool is open for free the whole day. All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable. So come to enjoy yourself!
Welcome to book rooms in Baishan Mountain.
名师点评：
本文开门见山，首先点明了主旨。本文最大的特点是应用了很多比较复杂的句式，使文章比较出彩。开头使用了独立结构交代宾馆位置。which引导的非限制性定语从句的使用也很正确。总地来说，文章句式精炼，是篇不错的满分作文。
积累卡片
好词1. provide v.提供2. convenience n.便利
好句All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable.
所有这些服务都会给你带来便利，并且非常的愉快。
好处：bring great convenience，带来便利。 满分文(二)
Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel!
Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sight?seeing in the Baishan Mountain. There are two kinds of rooms for service: single?person room, 20 in total and RMB 100 yuan per day and double?person room, 15 in total and RMB 150 yuan per day. The hot water bath is provided as well. We serve both Chinses and western food in the restaurant as well as coffee and tea in the cafe. All are provided in a short time. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come.
We accept booking rooms ahead of time. So come and enjoy!
名师点评：
本文叙述比较详细，使用了比较复杂的句式和短语。首句的伴随状语用得很好。在介绍房间类型时，作者使用了简短的对比句式，很精炼。作者还使用了定语从句which，同时在描述酒店的两种价格的时候也很恰当，语句生动而不重复。
积累卡片
好词1. sight?seeing n.观光旅游2. book v.登记；预订
好句1. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sight?seeing in the Baishan Mountain. 宾馆在距离白山入口处500米的地方，这对于参观白山来说是一个很方便的位置。
好处：伴随状语的使用很到位。
2. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come.
游泳池全天免费开放。 好处：which引导了非限制性定语从句。 江苏卷： 满分文(一) Good afternoon, everyone, The national student sports program, waged by the Ministry of Education and aimed at improving students? health, was held from 10：00a?m?~11:00a?m? on April 29，2007 in many primary and middle schools all over China. Almost 11 million students in Jiangsu province participated in this program. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. Our whole life will be very enjoyable. In my opinion, we senior high school students should do exercises for one hour a day even though our spare time is limited. Health is a basic condition for our study. If we did not do exercises, we wouldn?t be able to get good study records. So every one of you, join the program now! Thank you! 名师点评： 本文的结构十分明晰，同时句式使用得熟练而准确。本文分为三段，前两段叙述，后一段发表观点，典型的作文结构。在句式使用上，作者用法多样，使用了独立结构和虚拟语气，十分出彩。复杂的句式是本文的特点之一。 积累卡片 好词1.wage v.发动2.aim v.瞄准3. advocate v.提倡 好句1. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. 教育部提倡我们每天做一个小时的运动，能够健康地活50年。 好处：advocate，其后接虚拟语气，可以省略情态动词。 2. If we did not do exercises, we wouldn?t be able to get good study records. 如果我们不进行运动，我们的学习成绩就不会很好。 好处：虚拟语气。?满分文(二)
Good afternoon, everyone, It‘s my honor to be here to give you a speech.
On April 29，2007 the national student sports program was held from
10∶00am~11∶00a?m? in many primary and middle schools all over China.
It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program. In Jiangsu, about 11
milloin students took part in the activity. The theme of this program is “do
exercises for one hour per day, work for 50 years healthily and lead a happy life”.
In my viewpoint, this is quite good for us senior students. We do exercises one
hour a day and we can gain health, which lay a solid foundation for our future.
That will be very good. So boys and girls，come and join us now! Thank you!
名师点评： 文章的结构很清楚，内容和要点把握得也比较完整。本文十分符合演讲稿的
要求，写得比较出色。第一段中用了强调句，指出了发起项目的主体。作者用并列的方式
解释了主题，十分出色。定语从句也用的很好、很到位。
积累卡片
好词1. promote v.促进2. foundation n.基础3. gain v.获得
好句1. It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program.
是教育部推动了这个计划。 好处：强调句的使用十分准确。
2. We do exercises one hour a day and we can gain health, which lay
a solid foundation for our future.
每天锻炼一小时我们的身体就会很健康，而这也为将来打下了坚实的基础。
好处：lay a solid foundation，为…打下坚实基础。全国卷I：满分范文一
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
Since I?m quite interested in English, I would like to make an English pen friend to improve my writing. Can you introduce one to me? My ideal pen friend should be of my age, and a boy will be better. A boy who likes traveling and football will be a good candidate.
In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other. We can share our feelings of traveling and football. If possible, I hope that he likes pets. Hope you can find me an ideal pen friend.Thank you.
Best regards,
Li Hua
名师点评：
本文属于比较“平”的文章，即稳中求胜。文章没有华丽的词语，但是使用了一些短语和结构，能够获得老师的欣赏。首句是个原因状语从句。文章也运用了定语从句来修饰boy，比较好。If possible这个省略句则表明作者对这类状语从句的熟悉。
积累卡片
好词：1. candidate n.候选人2.share with 与…分享
好句：In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other.在我看来，像我这样年龄的男生和我会有更多的共同语言。
好处：复杂句的组合很好。 满分文(二)
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
I have been learning English for two years and I hope to
find an English pen friend so that I can get more improvement.
Can you help me to find one?
I?d like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of
traveling and sports, to be my pen friend. In my opinion, people
of the same age often have something to exchange. That’s why
I want him to be of my age. If he likes doggy, that would be better
because I can tell him something about my little doggy.I’d be very
thankful if you can help me. Hope to hear from you!
Best regards,
Li Hua
名师点评：
从整体上来说，本文写得还是符合要求的，内容完整，要点和
结构也很齐全。语言的使用不在于华丽的辞藻而在于其一些复杂句子
的组织。最值得我们学习的就是像好词和好句中列举的表达法。
全文流畅而连贯，适合于模仿。
积累卡片
好词1.improvement n 改进2.do sb. a favor 帮助某人3. doggy n.小狗
好句1. I?d like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of
traveling and sports, to be my pen friend.我想寻找一个和我年纪相仿，
喜欢旅游、体育的男孩来做我的笔友。
好处：of my age 年纪相仿；be fond of 喜欢。
2.That?s why I want him to be of my age,
这就是为什么我希望笔友跟我年纪相仿的原因。
好处：用why引导的从句做表语从句。
1、 本题总分为25分，按5个档次给分。
2、评分时，先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。
3、词数少于80或多于120的，从总分中减去2分。
4、评分时，应注意的主要内容为：内容要点，应用词汇和语法结构的数量和准确性、上下文的连贯及语言的得体性。书面表达评分标准5、拼写与标点是语言准确性的一个方面，
评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以
考虑。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。
6、如书写较差，以至影响交际，将分数
降低一个档次。
二、各档次的给分 范围与要求第五档（很好）（21—25分)
完全完成了试题规定的任务。
—覆盖所有内容要点。
—应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。
—语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或高级词汇所致；具有较强的语言运用能力。
—有效地使用了句间的连接成份，使全文结构紧凑。
完全达到了预期的写作目的。
第四档（好）（16-20分）完全完成了试题规定的任务。
—虽然漏掉一、二个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容。
—应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的需要。
—语法结构会词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试叫复杂语法结构或词汇所致。
—应用简单的语句间的连接成份，使全文结构紧凑。
达到了预期的写作目的。基本完成了试题规定的任务。
—虽然漏掉了一些内容，但覆盖所有主要内容。
—应用的语法结构或词汇能满足任务的要求。
—有一些语法结构或方面的错误，但不影响理解。
—应用简单的语句间的连接成分，是全文连贯。
整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。第三档（适当）（11-15分）第二档（较差）（6-10分）未恰当完成试题规定的任务。
—漏掉或未描写清楚一些主要内容，写了一些无关内容。
—语法结构单调、词汇项目有限。
—有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解。
—较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺少连贯性。
信息未能清楚地传达给读者。 第一档（差）（1-5分）未完成试题规定的任务。
—明显遗漏主要内容，写了一些无关内容，原因可能是未能理解试题要求。
—语法结构单调，词汇项目有限。
—较多语法或词汇方面的错误，影响对写作内容的理解。
—缺乏语句间的连接成分，内容不连贯。
信息未能传达给读者。0分 未能传达给读者任何信息；内容太少，无法评判。写的内容均与所要求的内容无关或所写内容无法看清。三、说明1、内容要点可用不懂方式表达。
2、对紧扣主题的适当发挥不予扣分。
3、书面表达的内容须符合逻辑、语言得体。1. 多实少虚 :nice 2. 短语优先：I cannot bear it.
I want it. generous, humorous, interesting, smart, gentle, warm-hearted, hospitalI cannot put up with it.
I am looking forward to it. ３弃旧取新:Ｗe all have the same chance.
There are more opponents.possessopportunityexist学生过街在车辆中穿行危险。1. It’s very dangerous for the students to go through the traffic.2. Students are risking their lives when threading their way among cars.社会应加强对学生的交通安全教育。1. The students should be taught more about the traffic safety.2. And also it is of great use to strengthen the traffic safety education over the students.1.We all think he is a great man.
2. As a result the plan was a failure.
3. She went there in order to study music.
4. In our school, there are twenty-six classrooms.We all of him .The plan to be a failure.She went there studying music.Our school twenty–six classrooms.think highlyturned outfor the purpose ofis made up of5. You can find my house easily.
6. Because the weather was good, our journey
was comfortable.
7. Suddenly I thought out a good idea.You’ll finding my house. A good idea to me. the good weather, our journey was comfortable.have no troubleA good idea suddenly me.Thanks tooccurredstruck 运用多种语法结构，句式灵活多变，可以使文章增色不少。1. When he arrives, please give me an e-mail.（使用V-ing形式）.
2. To his surprise, the little girl knows so many things.（使用名词性从句）
3. He came in and there was a baby in his arms. (用with结构)
, please give me an e-mail. is that the little girl knows so many things.On his arrivingWhat surprises himHe came in , with a baby in his arms.4.(由于不知道他的电话，他没法跟Mary联系)(用非谓语）
5. He did not know what had happened until he had read the news in the newspaper.(使用强调句型)
6. Tom and Mary like singing songs.( 使用倒装）It was not until he had read the news in the newspaper that ，he can’t get in touch with Tom Not knowing his telephone number he knew what had happened.Tom likes singing songs, Mary.so does7. She walked out of the lab and many students followed her. (使用过去分词)
8. When he spoke, he felt more and more excited.（使用句型结构）
9. Because the weather is fine, many people went to climb the Western hill. by many students, she walked out of the lab. , a large number of people went to climb the Western Hills. he spoke, excited he felt.FollowedThe more the moreThe weather being fine 一篇好的书面表达，还应该行文连贯流畅，具有“逻辑美”。使用恰当连接词，能使文章上下衔接自然、紧凑，使文章更为地道，更具“英语味”。记得使用恰当的连接词，如: soon, immediately, suddenly, in front of, next to, on one hand, on the other hand, however, though, otherwise, thanks to, as a result (of), so long as, on condition that, even if/though, what’s more, besides, to make the matter worse, I’m afraid, you know, As we all know…This village is very small. It used to be very poor. It has changed a lot since 1978 . This village is a small one with/which has nearly 100 families and about 500 people. It used to be very poor. However, it has changed a lot since 1978 .
Last Sunday, two Young Pioneers were on their way to the Children’s Palace . They saw a box fall off a passing truck. They shouted “stop” to the driver at the top of their voice. Last Sunday, two Young Pioneers were on their way to the Children’s Palace when they saw a box fall off a passing truck. Without delay, they shouted “stop” to the driver at the top of their voice. 语意要合情合理，过渡自然 语句要有简有繁，随“意”而安语法要结构正确，无懈可击语言要地道流畅，书写规范书面表达(满分30分)
当前不少文学作品被改编成电影。有人选择看电影，有人则喜欢读原著。请你以“Film or book, which do you prefer?”为题，按照下列要点写一篇英语短文：
1．看电影：省时、有趣、易懂
2．读原著：细节更多、语言优美
3．我的看法及理由
注意： 1．词数100-120，文章题目和开头己给出(不计词数)
2．参考词汇：original work或book in the original(原著) 06年浙江省高考英语作文字迹潦草，抄阅读文章中的句子，不知所云.得分为0分 语言素质欠缺;基本功差;语句毛病多;大小写;标点符号;书写不清等等;得6分.语言流畅;层次分明，表达基本准确，但有少许语言错误;得27分Make still further progress!杭州第十四中学应届毕业生 沈书勤 英语总分145分 本篇作文得分27分) 阅卷教师喜欢什么样的作文? 字迹工整,卷面整洁；
紧扣主题,条理清晰；
语言地道,过渡自然；
长度适中.一气呵成．
黄会健---评卷学科组组长阅卷教师 讨厌什么样的作文? 涂涂抹抹，斑斑点点；
层次不清，段落不分；
语句不通，杂乱无章；
书写潦草，卷面不洁； 满分/高分作文的共同点：
1、审题准确
2、要点齐全
3、语言优美（语法结构和词汇）
4、结构连贯（文章整体结构和行文逻辑）5、书写工整 评分标准对高分作文的要求：
1、审题准确
2、要点齐全
3、语言优美
4、文章连贯
5、书写工整保证核心前提注重积累注重训练评分样例:
假设你是李华,你的英国笔友Bob将于九月到你所在城市的建新华文学校学中文，来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请根据图画提
供的信息，写信介绍住房的情况，并告知住房面积为25平方米，月租500元。
注意：
1．词数：100左右：
2．参考词汇：房租Tent(n.).
Dear Bob,
How are you these days? I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese. You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which I think is pretty good.
The place is on Fang Cao Street which is near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin Chinese School. There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.
Yours,
Li Hua 满分理由
本文内在逻辑性很强，由远及近，由外及内，层次分明。同时让步状语从句等语言运用得恰到好处，很出彩，再则结构完整，从开头的问候语到结尾都很完备。例1
Dear Bob,
It was great to hear from you and I am very glad you will be coming here to study Chinese.
I have done some research for you and found a nice apartment, which is only one bus stop away from your school. It is not that big, only 25 square metres, but I think it is fine for your needs.
It consists of a small bathroom, a kitchen and a bedroom. The rent is 500 yuan per month. Is this suitable to your budget? If not, please let me know ASAP so I can make further arrangements for you.
Looking forward to meeting you.
King Regards,
Li Hua点评：
1 本文用词107个。
2 文章覆盖了所有内容要点。
3 运用了较多的句子结构和词汇，如If not的省略结构、同位结构、
定语从句以及budget、ASAP、king regards、do some
research、consist of、make furtherarrangements、look
forward to等词汇，语言变化多姿，错落有致。
4 时态的运用准确、规范，如“It was great…”、“…you will be
coming…”等，显示了较强的语言运用能力。文中有效地使用了
语句间的连接成分，
5 全文结构紧凑,语言得体，如“Is this suitable to your budget?”，
恰当地表达了征询的语气。文中的“great、fine、one stop away”
等词汇，虽然司空见惯，但在平时习作中却用者寥寥。
总之，本文个性化色彩浓，雅俗共赏，完全达到了预期的写作目的。
（本文属于第五档次，可得满分）例2
Dear Bob,
Glad to hear from you.
Now let me tell you what you want to know. I’ve found a house for you.Take a bus to the Fang Cao street, and you’ll see a building on the right, and your room is on the third floor.
I think it is a suitable room for you, which covers 25 square metres. There are a bed room, a kitchen room and a bath room in it. With a bed and a sofa, the bedroom is really nice. Besides, the bath room and the kitchen are also pretty good.
I hope you would like it!
Yours,
Li Hua点评：
1本文用词101个。
2该文基本覆盖文章所有主要内容，但漏掉了一些次重点，如“离学校一站远”等。
3文章中还是能发现一些错误，如There be结构中be动词的数出现错误。语言的得体性方面有所欠缺，比如首句过于非正式，第三句的祈使句应用不符合本文的文体。第二段的定语从句的使用也比较牵强。
4但是，本文应用的语法结构和词汇能满足写作任务的要求，语言表达较流畅，能运用简单的语句间的连接成分，如besides等，全文结构较紧凑。个别错误也是属于尝试使用较复杂结构所致。
（本文属于第四档次，可得16分）例3
Dear Bob,
I’m writing to tell you something about the house, which you will live in when you learn chinese at Jian Xin Chinese School this September.
It is in Fang Cao street, near which there is a bus station.It is convenient for you to take the No. 11 bus to the school. The house is very suitable with a bethroom, a kitchen and a bedroom. In the bedroom, stand a bed and a desk with a light.
Wish you have a good time. And you will be good at Chinese.
Yours,
Li Hua点评：
1 本文用词91个.
2漏掉一些内容，如“面积”、“月租500元”等”，但基本上完成了试题规定的任务.
3 有一些词汇拼写错误，如chinese, Fang Cao street, bethroom等；也有一些词汇的运用错误，如house和stand分别应该改为 apartment和lie；还有一些结构运用的错误，如Wish you have a good time.等。两个定语从句的使用都比较牵强。最后一个句子也有中国式英语的嫌疑。
4 但总体上这些错误没有影响理解。文章中也能应用像convenient、take the bus、不定式复合结构等简单的
语句和词汇及简单的语句；全文结构尚连贯。
（本文属于第三档次，可得12分）假设你是李越,你的加拿大笔友Steve来信说,他和他的一些同学正在学中文,请你推荐两本学中文的词典.根据下表提供的信息,请你给他写一封回信.例1
Dear Steve,
Very glad to see your letter.
I heard you are learning Chinese. I very glad to hear that. There are two dictionary to recommend you. The first one, the English-Chinese dictionary Chinese English Dictionary It has 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese that cost only 52 yuan, there are lots of examples and how do you used it, that first learn used it very well. The other one is Xinhua Dictionary. It has 10,000 words, only coast 11 yuan, there are usually uses Chinese dictionary it’s very wonderful. So, I hope you are learning well.
I will listen to your goodlider. 例1
Very glad to see your letter.（中国式英语）
I heard you are learning Chinese. I very glad to hear that. There are two dictionary to recommend you.
（本段出现时态不协调、谓语缺失、忽视名词的数等语法
错误）The first one, the English-Chinese dictionary Chinese English Dictionary（不成句子）. It has 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese that cost only 52 yuan, （误用从句）
there are lots of examples and how do you used it, that first learn used it very well. （句子不平衡，影响了理解）The other one is Xinhua Dictionary. It has 10,000 words, only coast 11 yuan, there are usually uses Chinese dictionary it’s very wonderful.（句式单调，没有层次，没有“句子”的概念）
So, I hope you are learning well. （中国式英语）I will listen to your goodlider. （不知所云，信息未能传达）
（本文属于第二档次，可得9分）例2
Dear Steve,
I’ve received your letter and know that you want me to recommend two dictionaries to you and your classmates who are learning Chinese now. I think the English-Chinese Chinese-English Dictionary which cost 52yuan is useful to learners who has already began to learn. It includes 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese words. It offers you examples of how to use these words.Another dictionary called Xinhua is also very good. It contains 10,000characters,which used most frequently in China, so you can find the usual meaning in XD easily. And it is cheaper. You spend only 11 yuan to get one.
I hope those two dictionaries can help you with your Chinese study and wish you make progress in your studying!例2
Dear Steve,
I’ve received your letter and know that you want me to
recommend two dictionaries to you and your classmates
who are learning Chinese now. （句子从语法上讲是正确
的，但比较拖沓）I think the English-Chinese Chinese-
English Dictionary which cost 52yuan is useful to learners
who has already began to learn. (使用两个定语从句显得不
精炼)It includes 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese
words.It offers you examples of how to use these words（正
确使用动词offer）. Another dictionary called Xinhua is
also very good. It contains 10,000characters, which used
most frequently in China, （used应该改为被动语态；此错
为尝试较复杂结构而产生）so you can find the usual meaning in XD easily. And
it is cheaper. You spend only 11 yuan to get one. （正确
使用了比较结构和不定式结构）
I hope those two dictionaries can help you with your
Chinese study and wish you make progress in your
studying!（wish结构使用错误）
（本文属于第四档次，可得19分）
例1 （本文属于第五档次，可得24分）
Dear Steve,
Thank you very much for your last letter which asked me
something about how to choose a dictionary for learning
Chinese. Here I strongly recommend you the following
two which may be useful to you.（本段使用了两个定语从句）
One of them is the English-Chinese/Chinese-English
Dictionary (ECCED), which will cost you 52 yuan. It contains
some 18,000 English words and 20,000 Chinese words.
（使用contain和some等词汇）As it has lots of examples
showing how to use the words, it will be much valuable for
the beginners like you.（本句使用了较复杂的结构，包含了
as从句，现在分词短语how to结构）
The other one, Xinhua Dictionary (XD), which charges you
only 11 yuan and has a collection of 10,000 Chinese words.
（本句使用了非限制性定语从句以及同位结构，并正确使用了
charge和a collection of等词汇）It is the most commonly used
one in China.
If you need my help with your Chinese please write to me.Dear Bob,
How are you these days?
I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese.
You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which
I think is pretty good. The place is on Fang Cao Street which is
near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin
Chinese School.
There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom.
Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is
suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope
you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.
Yours,
Li Hua
满分理由
本文内在逻辑性很强，由远及近。由外及内，层次分明，
错落有致。同时让步状语从句运用得恰到好处，很出彩，
再则结构完整，从开头的问候语到结尾都很完备。 Dear Bob, Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you. I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin
Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms
in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa,
a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres
and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just
take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only
one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then
I’U be able to meet you at the airport, see you. Best wishes ! Yours, Li Hua ??? 满分理由 本文格式正确，内容完整，表述清楚，衔接紧密流畅，
时态语态使用准确，特别是结尾末段适度的发挥，既充实了内容，
又符合逻辑，成为本文与众不同的亮点。 I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go
to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on
Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11
can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat
is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two
are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs
in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month.
Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your
needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place. Hope you will come here soon! All the best! Yours, Li Hua ??? 满分理由 本文格式正确，意思表述完整，行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用，
还使用了以‘which，’引导的非限定性定语从句，从而使文章层次分明，富于变化，
不愧为考场佳作。 Dear Bob, I’m glad to hear from you. Welcome to our city in september. I’ve found a suitable house for you. The house is on Fang Cao Street, not far from the Jianxin Chinese School.
If you take the No.11 bus, it is just one stop. It is a flat on the third floor of a building. It has three rooms, a living-room,
a bathroom and a kitchen. You can cook yourself. The mirror, the basin and
the bathtub are very convenient for you. In the living-room, there is a bed, a
sofa and a desk with chair. The desk is next to the window. It will be good for
study. The total size is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan a month. Will you be satisfied with this flat, or you want another one? Just let me
know. I’ll try my best to help you. Yours, Li Hua ??? 满分理由 本文内容详实，描述具体细腻，用词适当准确，如“suitable house”、
“not far from’’等，另外文中的选择疑问句也很有新意。?重庆卷：满分范文一 Dear Amy,
I?m Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China.
I?m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which
brought you great pain. But you should realize that you
are young and have a promising great future. So, stand
up and fight against the disease! I?m sure you will win.
It is reported that the America anti?cancer association
will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you
receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and
ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough
money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon.
Yours,
Li Hua
名师点评：
本文依照要求，涵盖了所有要点。文章使用了高中常见
的句式，如I?m sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，
都比较好。作者对定语从句的使用恰到好处地修饰了文章，
行文自然而通顺，值得学习。
积累卡片
好词1.realize v.意识到2.promise v.允诺3.donate v.捐赠
好句1. I?m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer
which brings you great pain.
我很遗憾地得知你身患肺癌，给你带来了巨大的痛苦。
好处：which引导限制性定语从句。
2. So, stand up and fight against the disease!
因此，坚强地与疾病做斗争吧！
好处：掷地有声，语言准确。 满分文(二)
Dear Amy,
My name is Li Hua, a student from Xinhua Middle School in China.
I have got to know that you got lung cancer and are in great pain. Sorry
to hear that. But since you are young, the disease won?t be very
serious and you can beat it. It is said that the more letters you receive,
the more money the America anti?cancer association will donate. For
every letter, they give three cents. So I will try as hard as possible to
persuade my friends to write to you so as to help you get enough money
to cure the disease. I?m sure you will be OK soon.
Yours,
Li Hua
名师点评：
文章整体来说一气呵成，衔接自然。通过诸如原因状语从句的使用，
使得文章内容饱满，过渡自然，较好地使用了诸如but，so之类的连词。
文章使用了“the +比较级，the +比较级”的句式，十分出彩。
积累卡片
好词1. cure v.治愈2. association n.协会3.donate v.捐赠
好句1. But since you are young, the disease won’t be very serious
and you can beat it.
但是因为你还比较年轻，疾病不会很严重，你能够战胜它。
好处：since，引导原因状语从句。
2. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the
America anti-cancer association will donate.
据说你收到的信越多，美国抗癌组织捐给你的钱就越多。
好处：the +比较级，表示强调。 全国卷II：满分范文一 Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel!
Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business.
500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, it provides single?person room, of which the price is RMB100 yuan per day and the number is 20, and 15 double?person rooms, with a price of RMB 150 yuan per day. It also provides hot water bath service. You can enjoy both Chinese and western food in the restaurant and drink coffee and tea in the cafe. The swimming pool is open for free the whole day. All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable. So come to enjoy yourself!
Welcome to book rooms in Baishan Mountain.
名师点评：
本文开门见山，首先点明了主旨。本文最大的特点是应用了很多比较复杂的句式，使文章比较出彩。开头使用了独立结构交代宾馆位置。which引导的非限制性定语从句的使用也很正确。总地来说，文章句式精炼，是篇不错的满分作文。
积累卡片
好词1. provide v.提供2. convenience n.便利
好句All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable.
所有这些服务都会给你带来便利，并且非常的愉快。
好处：bring great convenience，带来便利。 满分文(二)
Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel!
Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sight?seeing in the Baishan Mountain. There are two kinds of rooms for service: single?person room, 20 in total and RMB 100 yuan per day and double?person room, 15 in total and RMB 150 yuan per day. The hot water bath is provided as well. We serve both Chinses and western food in the restaurant as well as coffee and tea in the cafe. All are provided in a short time. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come.
We accept booking rooms ahead of time. So come and enjoy!
名师点评：
本文叙述比较详细，使用了比较复杂的句式和短语。首句的伴随状语用得很好。在介绍房间类型时，作者使用了简短的对比句式，很精炼。作者还使用了定语从句which，同时在描述酒店的两种价格的时候也很恰当，语句生动而不重复。
积累卡片
好词1. sight?seeing n.观光旅游2. book v.登记；预订
好句1. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sight?seeing in the Baishan Mountain. 宾馆在距离白山入口处500米的地方，这对于参观白山来说是一个很方便的位置。
好处：伴随状语的使用很到位。
2. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come.
游泳池全天免费开放。 好处：which引导了非限制性定语从句。 江苏卷： 满分文(一) Good afternoon, everyone, The national student sports program, waged by the Ministry of Education and aimed at improving students? health, was held from 10：00a?m?~11:00a?m? on April 29，2007 in many primary and middle schools all over China. Almost 11 million students in Jiangsu province participated in this program. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. Our whole life will be very enjoyable. In my opinion, we senior high school students should do exercises for one hour a day even though our spare time is limited. Health is a basic condition for our study. If we did not do exercises, we wouldn?t be able to get good study records. So every one of you, join the program now! Thank you! 名师点评： 本文的结构十分明晰，同时句式使用得熟练而准确。本文分为三段，前两段叙述，后一段发表观点，典型的作文结构。在句式使用上，作者用法多样，使用了独立结构和虚拟语气，十分出彩。复杂的句式是本文的特点之一。 积累卡片 好词1.wage v.发动2.aim v.瞄准3. advocate v.提倡 好句1. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. 教育部提倡我们每天做一个小时的运动，能够健康地活50年。 好处：advocate，其后接虚拟语气，可以省略情态动词。 2. If we did not do exercises, we wouldn?t be able to get good study records. 如果我们不进行运动，我们的学习成绩就不会很好。 好处：虚拟语气。?满分文(二)
Good afternoon, everyone, It‘s my honor to be here to give you a speech.
On April 29，2007 the national student sports program was held from
10∶00am~11∶00a?m? in many primary and middle schools all over China.
It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program. In Jiangsu, about 11
milloin students took part in the activity. The theme of this program is “do
exercises for one hour per day, work for 50 years healthily and lead a happy life”.
In my viewpoint, this is quite good for us senior students. We do exercises one
hour a day and we can gain health, which lay a solid foundation for our future.
That will be very good. So boys and girls，come and join us now! Thank you!
名师点评： 文章的结构很清楚，内容和要点把握得也比较完整。本文十分符合演讲稿的
要求，写得比较出色。第一段中用了强调句，指出了发起项目的主体。作者用并列的方式
解释了主题，十分出色。定语从句也用的很好、很到位。
积累卡片
好词1. promote v.促进2. foundation n.基础3. gain v.获得
好句1. It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program.
是教育部推动了这个计划。 好处：强调句的使用十分准确。
2. We do exercises one hour a day and we can gain health, which lay
a solid foundation for our future.
每天锻炼一小时我们的身体就会很健康，而这也为将来打下了坚实的基础。
好处：lay a solid foundation，为…打下坚实基础。全国卷I：满分范文一
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
Since I?m quite interested in English, I would like to make an English pen friend to improve my writing. Can you introduce one to me? My ideal pen friend should be of my age, and a boy will be better. A boy who likes traveling and football will be a good candidate.
In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other. We can share our feelings of traveling and football. If possible, I hope that he likes pets. Hope you can find me an ideal pen friend.Thank you.
Best regards,
Li Hua
名师点评：
本文属于比较“平”的文章，即稳中求胜。文章没有华丽的词语，但是使用了一些短语和结构，能够获得老师的欣赏。首句是个原因状语从句。文章也运用了定语从句来修饰boy，比较好。If possible这个省略句则表明作者对这类状语从句的熟悉。
积累卡片
好词：1. candidate n.候选人2.share with 与…分享
好句：In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other.在我看来，像我这样年龄的男生和我会有更多的共同语言。
好处：复杂句的组合很好。 满分文(二)
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
I have been learning English for two years and I hope to
find an English pen friend so that I can get more improvement.
Can you help me to find one?
I?d like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of
traveling and sports, to be my pen friend. In my opinion, people
of the same age often have something to exchange. That’s why
I want him to be of my age. If he likes doggy, that would be better
because I can tell him something about my little doggy.I’d be very
thankful if you can help me. Hope to hear from you!
Best regards,
Li Hua
名师点评：
从整体上来说，本文写得还是符合要求的，内容完整，要点和
结构也很齐全。语言的使用不在于华丽的辞藻而在于其一些复杂句子
的组织。最值得我们学习的就是像好词和好句中列举的表达法。
全文流畅而连贯，适合于模仿。
积累卡片
好词1.improvement n 改进2.do sb. a favor 帮助某人3. doggy n.小狗
好句1. I?d like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of
traveling and sports, to be my pen friend.我想寻找一个和我年纪相仿，
喜欢旅游、体育的男孩来做我的笔友。
好处：of my age 年纪相仿；be fond of 喜欢。
2.That?s why I want him to be of my age,
这就是为什么我希望笔友跟我年纪相仿的原因。
好处：用why引导的从句做表语从句。
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