课件10张PPT。Astronomy: the science of the starsUnit 4【写作任务】
假设你是陈辉,近来感到很苦恼:你对到火星旅行很感兴趣,经常到网上查看最新的新闻和视频,并且和有相同爱好的人网聊,还经常到图书馆查阅相关资料,但是你的父母对此很不理解,以致你们近来相处不好。现在请你给你的美国好友Tom写一封信,表示希望得到他的建议和帮助。注意:
1. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;
2. 词数:100左右;信的开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。Dear Tom,
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yours sincerely,
Chen Hui一、审题:确定短文体裁、人称和时态
该书面表达任务是给自己的美国好友写一
封信,属于应用文范畴;此处主要介绍自己当前遇到的问题,故人称以第一人称为主,时态以一般现在时为主。
二、确定文章结构
根据要点提示,此书面表达可分为三段。
第一段:说明写信的目的——求助;
第二段:详细说明自己遇到的问题和苦恼;
第三段:表示希望得到帮助和早日回复。【写作步骤】三、词语储备
1. 一个棘手的问题
2. 处理;解决
3. 对……着迷;热衷于……
4. 此外,而且
5. 在……看来
6. 对……有好处
7. 强烈反对
8. 浪费时间
9. 与……相处
10. 盼望;期待 a tough problemdeal withbe crazy aboutin additionin one’s opinionbe beneficial tobe strongly againsta waste of timeget along withlook forward to四、备用句型罗列
1. I’m writing to tell you about a tough problem.
2. I don’t know how to deal with it and need your help.
3. I’m crazy about traveling to Mars.
4. I spend lots of time looking for the latest news and videos on the Internet.
5. I often have a chat with some friends who have the same interest on the Internet.
6. My parents are strongly against it and they think that it’s a waste of time.
7. I don’t get along well with them.
8. Can you offer me some suggestions?
9. I’m looking forward to your early reply. 【学生习作】
Dear Tom,
I’m writing to tell you about a tough problem. I don’t know how to deal with it and need your help.
As you know, I’m crazy about traveling to Mars. So I spend lots of time looking for the latest news and videos on the Internet. And I often have a chat with some friends who have the same interest on the Internet. In addition, to find relevant something① to read, I often go to the library. In my opinion, this hobby is beneficial to me. However, my parents are strongly against it. They think that it’s a waste of time②. Thus, I don’t get along well with them.
What shall I do? Can you offer me some suggestions? I’m looking forward to your early reply.
Yours sincerely,
Chen Hui【名师点评】
总评:该书信要点齐全,层次清晰,语气恰当,其中的拓展细节也合情合理。作者开门见山,首先表明了写信的目的,之后详细说明了自己遇到的问题和苦恼,最后表示希望得到对方的建议。但是文中存在个别用词错误和需要改进的地方。一、错误评析
①处应把relevant something改 something relevant。something 为不定代词,其修饰语要后置。
二、亮点展示
1. 第二段的第一句使用了as引导的非限制性定语从句。
2. 第二段的第四句使用了动词不定式作目的状语(to find…)。
3. 最后一段的第一句使用了情态动词shall来征求对方的建议。
4. 衔接成分使用恰当,例如so, in addition, however, thus等。三、锦上添花
②处的划线部分为两个独立的句子,此处不妨合二为一,改为由who引导的非限制性定语从句However, my parents, who think that it’s a waste of time, are strongly against it则句子显得更上档次。