2020高考英语新题型—读后续写和概要写作课件82(共28张PPT)
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| 名称 | 2020高考英语新题型—读后续写和概要写作课件82(共28张PPT) |  | |
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| 文件大小 | 4.0MB | ||
| 资源类型 | 教案 | ||
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| 科目 | 英语 | ||
| 更新时间 | 2020-05-22 14:29:34 | ||
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(共28张PPT)
Stinky Street
Interpretation of the Text 文本解读
A story
how
where
when
why
who
what
Interpretation of the Text 文本解读 (Who)
Mrs. Cox
Josh
Mr. Bragg
Franklin
Neighbor
His father’s friend
buyer of their house
Interpretation of the Text 文本解读(When)
1. Next day, there was a “For Sale” sign stuck by Franklin’s door.
2. But a few days later, Franklin came home from school to find a man in the kitchen.
3. Franklin’s heart sank when Mr. Bragg said he wanted to come back for a second visit on Saturday morning.
Interpretation of the Text文本解读(How)
Franklin家即将增添一对双胞胎，原来的房子就不够住了，父母决定把房子卖了。然而Franklin非常喜欢Stanley Street，那里有着他喜欢的味道，还有友好的邻居、最要好的朋友，他舍不得离开。但是父母还是决定卖掉房子，甚至还出现了一个很有可能购买他家房子的人Mr. Bragg。于是Franklin决定想办法破坏Mr. Bragg的购买计划。
文本开始呈现的都是积极美好的情感。Franklin非常喜欢Stanley Street 以及Stanley Street上所有的一切。但是从Franklin父母决定搬走开始，Franklin的心情就开始变的糟糕，Mr. Bragg的出现让Franklin的心情糟糕到了极点。但是想到可以想办法让Mr. Bragg改变主意让Franklin的心情有所好转。
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读 (G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para. 1Franklin cupped his hand over Josh's ear and began whispering his plan.
Given
Information
1. He loved living on Stanley Street. Everyone was friendly. All his mates were there and the smells from the pie factory. Mmm, delicious! There was just one problem. Franklin’s mum and dad wanted to move.(Para 1)
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读（G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para. 2 Mr. and Mrs. Gates were very angry. “You'd better explain what's going on!
Given
Information
He loved living on Stanley Street. Everyone was friendly. All his mates were there and the smells from the pie factory. Mmm, delicious! There was just one problem. Franklin’s mum and dad wanted to move.(Para 1)
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读（G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para. 1 Franklin cupped his hand over Josh's ear and began whispering his plan.
New Information
What did Franklin say ?
What’s Josh’s reaction?
What did Franklin do with the help of Josh?
What’s Mr. Bragg’s reaction and how did he feel?
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读（G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para 2. A few days later, we visited Mr. Dan’s tidy house
① What did Mr. and Mrs. Gates do and what did they say?
② What’s Franklin’s reaction?
③ Did they solve the problem at last?
New
Information
2. Interpretation of underlined words下划线词解读：
factory，house，Josh，forty's，mice，damp，Mrs. Cox，Mr. Bragg，Saturday morning，fish
Characters
Places
Objects
Time
Mrs. Cox; Mr. Bragg; Josh
factory; house; forty's
mice; damp; fish
Saturday morning
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读
Mrs. Cox
Josh
Mr. Bragg
Franklin
arrived and came up with a good idea
begged
rang the doorbell
Interpretation of writing ideas 写作思路解读
Mrs. Cox
Josh
Mr. Bragg
Franklin
constantly winked
opened wide enough to swallow a dentist
rang the doorbell
Interpretation of writing ideas 写作思路解读
The Micro-skills Training in writing
表达微技能之动作神态：愤怒篇
Para.4: Josh frowned. “Has your house got problems?
在续写文本中，我们可以通过情绪情感、心理活动、具体动作、对话独白、场景描写以及修辞更多种方式使得文章血肉丰满，厚实感人。
词的积累：
动词：anger, annoy, irritate, shout, stare, rage, stamp, frown
形容词: angry, breathless, resentful
名词：anger, annoyance, crossness, irritation, scowl, fury
副词：furiously, threateningly, aggressively, breathlessly, crossly
在续写文本中，我们可以通过对人物肢体语言和表情的描写，反映人物的心理活动和情感变化，增强叙述的画面感，使得文章血肉丰满，厚实感人。在已知文本的阅读和读后续写的故事创作中，我们要聚焦人物的言行，情感的变化，关注名词、动词、形容词、副词等在文本和续写作文中的使用。本篇着重从愤怒的动作神态描写来反映人物的心理活动和情感变化。
The Micro-skills Training in writing
表达微技能之动作神态：愤怒篇
II. 词块和句的积累：
1. 常见表生气的词块
(1) arouse one’s displeasure
(2) be easily annoyed at
(3) complain constantly about sth
(4) ignore/ disregard a complaint
(5) explode with anger; boil with a rage ; get mad / cross at sb.
(6) run out of the room in a burst of anger
(7) rage at sb.
(8) get irritated at
(9) stamp one’s foot in anger
(10) a resentful look
(11) could hardly / scarcely contain / restrain his rage.
(12) be seized by anger
(13) trembled with anger
(14) a look of burning anger
2．关于生气表达的佳句
(1) Rage flowed through her like lava.
(2) Anger poured through her.
(3) Her temper sparked.
(4) Anger stirred within her.
(5) Rage nearly consumed her.
(6) Raw anger shot through him.
(7) Rage pulsed through his veins.
(8) Anger flooded his veins.
(9) He felt a flash of irritation.
(10) He felt a flicker of irritation.
(11) Anger rushed through her.
(12) Anger overpowered her.
(13) Rage / Fury overtook him.
(14) He swallowed down his frustration.
(15) She tamped down her irritation.
(16) He kept his frustration in check.
(17) Fury roared through her mind.
(18) A fresh swell of rage rose in her.
(19) Anger rose in him like a tide.
(20) Anger welled up in his chest.
(21) He trembled with rage.
(22) She was breathless with anger.
(23) Tom felt so angry that he stormed out of the room, slamming the door furiously behind him. (冲出房间；狠狠摔门)
(24) Boiling with rage, Tom shook his fist at me.（怒火中烧；挥舞拳头）
(25) Filled with fury, Tom was unable to utter a single word.（充满愤怒；说不出话）
(26)Her reply fuelled his anger and he erupted like a volcano.（火上加油；火山爆发)
Have a try 牛刀小试：句子翻译与句型转换
1.富兰克林默默地站着，悲痛和怜悯扯着他的心，他掂量着该谈些什么。
① Franklin stood silently, torn by sorrow and compassion, ________________________. (运用连动句句型)
② Franklin stood silently, torn by sorrow and compassion, ________________________. (运用非谓语动词结构)
weighing what to say
2. 她勇敢地走近他，递给他一束红玫瑰。
She bravely approached him ______________________________________. (运用连动句句型)
She bravely approached him ______________________________. (运用非谓语动词结构)
and handed him a bunch of red roses
handing him a bunch of red roses
and weighed what to say
Have a try 牛刀小试：句子翻译与句型转换
3. 当被问到他发生了什么事时，他一句话也不说。
① ____________________ what had happened, he kept silent. (运用时间状语从句)
② __________ what had happened, he kept silent. (运用非谓语动词结构)
When he was asked
Asked
4. 她怒视着儿子，发出愤怒的喊声。
① She let out a cry of anger ______________________________. (用“with + n. + 非谓语动词”改写句子)
② She let out a cry of anger, ______________________. (用独立主格结构改写句子)
her eyes glaring at her son
with her eyes glaring at her son
5. 他无法控制自己的怀疑和愤怒，转过身来怒吼,“到底是谁干的 ？”
① Unable to contain/conceal his disbelief and anger, he turned around _________________________, “Who on earth did it? (运用连动句句型)
② Unable to contain/conceal his disbelief and anger, he turned around _______________________, “Who on earth did it? (运用非谓语动词结构)
and roared with rage/in anger
roaring with rage/in anger
6. 他悲伤而疲惫，瘫倒在扶手椅上。
① He was sad and exhausted and __________________.
② ________________________, he collapsed into his armchair. (用形容词主补结构)
collapsed into his armchair
(Feeling) Sad and exhausted)
7. 太阳下山了，透过漆黑的一片很难看到任何东西。
Slowly, _____________________________________ and it was hard to see anything looking through the thick darkness. (运用拟人的修辞手法)
the sun hid himself behind the mountains
8. 真是难以置信，他能够在屋顶和墙壁倒下之前把考克斯夫人抱出来
① __________________________ he was able to carry Mrs. Cox out before the roof and walls fell. (用形式主语)
② ___________________, he was able to carry Mrs. Cox out before the roof and walls fell. (用副词作状语主语)
Incredibly /Unbelievably
It is incredible/ unbelievable that
9. 过了仿佛有一个世纪以后，富兰克林最终鼓起勇气走了出来
After ______________________, Franklin finally gathered courage to walk out. (用名词性从句)
what seemed for ages
Possible version 1
Franklin cupped his hand over Josh’s ear and began whispering his plan. When Josh heard what Franklin wanted, his mouth opened wide enough to swallow a dentist. He cried. “I’ll get into trouble!” “You have to! It’s my only chance” Franklin begged. In the end, Josh nodded. On Saturday morning Mr. and Mrs. Gates were still outside when Mr. Bragg rang the doorbell. Entering the house, Mr. Bragg stopped and sniffed the air, asking curiously “what's that disgusting smell?” Franklin told him the factory does fish pie on Saturdays, which made Mr. Bragg frowned. “Mind the mouse poo,” Franklin grinned, pointing to a pile of brown lumps. “It gets stuck in the carpet.” “ Urgh!” Mr Bragg pulled a face. He ran downstairs and out of the door.
Possible version 1
Mr. and Mrs. Gates were very angry. “You’d better explain what's going on!” Franklin knew he was in big trouble. He ran back and vacuumed up the chocolate drops on the carpet in his bedroom. Then he dried the lemonade on his bedroom wall. He said sorry to Josh for getting him into trouble, too. At last, he said sorry to his mum and dad. His mum was very upset. Mrs. Cox arrived and came up with a good idea, that is, swap her house with Franklin’s. “So we had one big house,” grinned Franklin. So everybody's happy except Mr. Bragg, he's bought number forty.
评点：首先，续写部分和原文及首句的融洽度高，第一段开头Franklin cupped his hand over Josh’s ear and began whispering his plan.说明Franklin的计划跟Josh有关。在所提供的最后一段文章中作者也提到了Josh的姐姐在鱼长工作，这些都给第一段的故事情节发展埋下了伏笔。所以作者在这个段落里重点写了Franklin怎样利用那些鱼去布置一些假象。使得Bragg先生很生气冲出了他家，从而很自然三与第二段衔接上了。第二段开头作者说父母很生气，那么Franklin又做了什么去弥补他所犯的错。最后也提供了解决问题的方法，和考克斯太太交换了房间，结局皆大欢喜。
其次，在语言上，这篇文章并没有一味采用大词、难词，而是在高中词汇范围内精挑细选，活用了许多小词，增加了许多阅读趣味。例如，文章第一句“mouth opened wide enough to swallow a dentist” 中，“swallow a dentist”一词就使用了夸张的修辞手法，把Josh惊讶的表情描写的非常生动、形象。同时“Mr. Bragg pulled a face”拉下脸中的“pull”也很形象、到位。
Possible version 2
Franklin cupped his hand over Josh’s ear and began whispering his plan. When Josh heard what Franklin wanted, his mouth opened wide enough to swallow a dentist. He cried. “I’ll get into trouble!” “You have to! It’s my only chance” Franklin begged. In the end, Josh nodded. On Saturday morning Mr. and Mrs. Gates were still outside when Mr. Bragg rang the doorbell. Entering the house, Mr. Bragg stopped and sniffed the air, asking curiously “what's that disgusting smell?” Franklin told him the factory does fish pie on Saturdays, which made Mr. Bragg frowned. “Mind the mouse poo,” Franklin grinned, pointing to a pile of brown lumps. “It gets stuck in the carpet.” “ Urgh!” Mr Bragg pulled a face. He ran downstairs and out of the door.
Possible version 2
Mr. and Mrs. Gates were very angry. Unable to contain/conceal their disbelief and anger, they turned around and roared with rage/in anger, “You’d better explain what's going on!” Franklin hid himself in the bedroom, shaking in his boots. After what seemed for ages, Franklin finally gathered courage to walk out. Quite out of his expectation, Mr. Gate knelt down and embraced Franklin in his arms, murmuring, “I’m sorry, my lovely boy. You are much more important than the house.” Over Mr. Gate’s shoulders, Mrs. Cox constantly winked at him. Clearly, she explained to Dad what had happened.
评点：首先，在逻辑上，文章前半段对剧情的合理拓展非常符合情境：主人公从向朋友求助到用尽办法让Mr. Bragg打消买房子的念头，最后向父母道歉。情节的丰富曲折增强了故事的可读性。在语言方面，文章使用了多个非谓语句型“Franklin hid himself in the bedroom, shaking in his boots.”表达了主人公紧张的状态；“Mr. Gate knelt down and embraced Franklin in his arms, murmuring,” 反映出了Mr. Bragg后悔的心情。地道的表达同样也给文章增添了文学色彩，如表示愤怒的“Unable to contain/conceal their disbelief and anger”；夸张的修辞“After what seemed for ages”。
A few days later, we visited Mr. Dan’s tidy house. Reminders of Mary still proudly displayed everywhere. He had gotten a haircut, shaved, and put on slacks and dress shoes. He looked ten years younger. He’d set out a child’s table, blank paper, and crayons for my little girl. He asked if she’d draw some pictures for him to display on his refrigerator. Norah excitedly agreed and went right to work. We ended up spending nearly three hours with Mr. Dan that day. Norah asks about Mr. Dan every day. She wants him to be OK and feel loved. Mr. Dan thinks about Norah too. After another recent visit, he told me that he had slept soundly every night since meeting my girl. “Norah has healed me,” he said. That left me speechless and my cheeks wet with tears. Seventy-eight years separate these two people in age. Somehow, their hearts and souls seem to recognize each other from long ago.
评点：第一段中老人说的简短的一句话，“自从妻子去世后好久都没这么放松和开心过了”并且脸上的微笑如钻石般闪耀，此处的人物喜乐情绪描写把老人Dan开心激动又深受感动的心情刻画地非常到位，对于故事后续的发展起到了推波助澜的作用。第二段中，excitedly agreed恰当地表现出了小女孩Norah作为一个四岁小孩子非常天真又单纯的开心情绪，对于刻画人物的形象起到了点睛之笔的作用。
Stinky Street
Interpretation of the Text 文本解读
A story
how
where
when
why
who
what
Interpretation of the Text 文本解读 (Who)
Mrs. Cox
Josh
Mr. Bragg
Franklin
Neighbor
His father’s friend
buyer of their house
Interpretation of the Text 文本解读(When)
1. Next day, there was a “For Sale” sign stuck by Franklin’s door.
2. But a few days later, Franklin came home from school to find a man in the kitchen.
3. Franklin’s heart sank when Mr. Bragg said he wanted to come back for a second visit on Saturday morning.
Interpretation of the Text文本解读(How)
Franklin家即将增添一对双胞胎，原来的房子就不够住了，父母决定把房子卖了。然而Franklin非常喜欢Stanley Street，那里有着他喜欢的味道，还有友好的邻居、最要好的朋友，他舍不得离开。但是父母还是决定卖掉房子，甚至还出现了一个很有可能购买他家房子的人Mr. Bragg。于是Franklin决定想办法破坏Mr. Bragg的购买计划。
文本开始呈现的都是积极美好的情感。Franklin非常喜欢Stanley Street 以及Stanley Street上所有的一切。但是从Franklin父母决定搬走开始，Franklin的心情就开始变的糟糕，Mr. Bragg的出现让Franklin的心情糟糕到了极点。但是想到可以想办法让Mr. Bragg改变主意让Franklin的心情有所好转。
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读 (G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para. 1Franklin cupped his hand over Josh's ear and began whispering his plan.
Given
Information
1. He loved living on Stanley Street. Everyone was friendly. All his mates were there and the smells from the pie factory. Mmm, delicious! There was just one problem. Franklin’s mum and dad wanted to move.(Para 1)
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读（G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para. 2 Mr. and Mrs. Gates were very angry. “You'd better explain what's going on!
Given
Information
He loved living on Stanley Street. Everyone was friendly. All his mates were there and the smells from the pie factory. Mmm, delicious! There was just one problem. Franklin’s mum and dad wanted to move.(Para 1)
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读（G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para. 1 Franklin cupped his hand over Josh's ear and began whispering his plan.
New Information
What did Franklin say ?
What’s Josh’s reaction?
What did Franklin do with the help of Josh?
What’s Mr. Bragg’s reaction and how did he feel?
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读（G-N策略）
1. Interpretation of given information首句解读：
Para 2. A few days later, we visited Mr. Dan’s tidy house
① What did Mr. and Mrs. Gates do and what did they say?
② What’s Franklin’s reaction?
③ Did they solve the problem at last?
New
Information
2. Interpretation of underlined words下划线词解读：
factory，house，Josh，forty's，mice，damp，Mrs. Cox，Mr. Bragg，Saturday morning，fish
Characters
Places
Objects
Time
Mrs. Cox; Mr. Bragg; Josh
factory; house; forty's
mice; damp; fish
Saturday morning
Interpretation of underlined words and given information划线词和续写首句解读
Mrs. Cox
Josh
Mr. Bragg
Franklin
arrived and came up with a good idea
begged
rang the doorbell
Interpretation of writing ideas 写作思路解读
Mrs. Cox
Josh
Mr. Bragg
Franklin
constantly winked
opened wide enough to swallow a dentist
rang the doorbell
Interpretation of writing ideas 写作思路解读
The Micro-skills Training in writing
表达微技能之动作神态：愤怒篇
Para.4: Josh frowned. “Has your house got problems?
在续写文本中，我们可以通过情绪情感、心理活动、具体动作、对话独白、场景描写以及修辞更多种方式使得文章血肉丰满，厚实感人。
词的积累：
动词：anger, annoy, irritate, shout, stare, rage, stamp, frown
形容词: angry, breathless, resentful
名词：anger, annoyance, crossness, irritation, scowl, fury
副词：furiously, threateningly, aggressively, breathlessly, crossly
在续写文本中，我们可以通过对人物肢体语言和表情的描写，反映人物的心理活动和情感变化，增强叙述的画面感，使得文章血肉丰满，厚实感人。在已知文本的阅读和读后续写的故事创作中，我们要聚焦人物的言行，情感的变化，关注名词、动词、形容词、副词等在文本和续写作文中的使用。本篇着重从愤怒的动作神态描写来反映人物的心理活动和情感变化。
The Micro-skills Training in writing
表达微技能之动作神态：愤怒篇
II. 词块和句的积累：
1. 常见表生气的词块
(1) arouse one’s displeasure
(2) be easily annoyed at
(3) complain constantly about sth
(4) ignore/ disregard a complaint
(5) explode with anger; boil with a rage ; get mad / cross at sb.
(6) run out of the room in a burst of anger
(7) rage at sb.
(8) get irritated at
(9) stamp one’s foot in anger
(10) a resentful look
(11) could hardly / scarcely contain / restrain his rage.
(12) be seized by anger
(13) trembled with anger
(14) a look of burning anger
2．关于生气表达的佳句
(1) Rage flowed through her like lava.
(2) Anger poured through her.
(3) Her temper sparked.
(4) Anger stirred within her.
(5) Rage nearly consumed her.
(6) Raw anger shot through him.
(7) Rage pulsed through his veins.
(8) Anger flooded his veins.
(9) He felt a flash of irritation.
(10) He felt a flicker of irritation.
(11) Anger rushed through her.
(12) Anger overpowered her.
(13) Rage / Fury overtook him.
(14) He swallowed down his frustration.
(15) She tamped down her irritation.
(16) He kept his frustration in check.
(17) Fury roared through her mind.
(18) A fresh swell of rage rose in her.
(19) Anger rose in him like a tide.
(20) Anger welled up in his chest.
(21) He trembled with rage.
(22) She was breathless with anger.
(23) Tom felt so angry that he stormed out of the room, slamming the door furiously behind him. (冲出房间；狠狠摔门)
(24) Boiling with rage, Tom shook his fist at me.（怒火中烧；挥舞拳头）
(25) Filled with fury, Tom was unable to utter a single word.（充满愤怒；说不出话）
(26)Her reply fuelled his anger and he erupted like a volcano.（火上加油；火山爆发)
Have a try 牛刀小试：句子翻译与句型转换
1.富兰克林默默地站着，悲痛和怜悯扯着他的心，他掂量着该谈些什么。
① Franklin stood silently, torn by sorrow and compassion, ________________________. (运用连动句句型)
② Franklin stood silently, torn by sorrow and compassion, ________________________. (运用非谓语动词结构)
weighing what to say
2. 她勇敢地走近他，递给他一束红玫瑰。
She bravely approached him ______________________________________. (运用连动句句型)
She bravely approached him ______________________________. (运用非谓语动词结构)
and handed him a bunch of red roses
handing him a bunch of red roses
and weighed what to say
Have a try 牛刀小试：句子翻译与句型转换
3. 当被问到他发生了什么事时，他一句话也不说。
① ____________________ what had happened, he kept silent. (运用时间状语从句)
② __________ what had happened, he kept silent. (运用非谓语动词结构)
When he was asked
Asked
4. 她怒视着儿子，发出愤怒的喊声。
① She let out a cry of anger ______________________________. (用“with + n. + 非谓语动词”改写句子)
② She let out a cry of anger, ______________________. (用独立主格结构改写句子)
her eyes glaring at her son
with her eyes glaring at her son
5. 他无法控制自己的怀疑和愤怒，转过身来怒吼,“到底是谁干的 ？”
① Unable to contain/conceal his disbelief and anger, he turned around _________________________, “Who on earth did it? (运用连动句句型)
② Unable to contain/conceal his disbelief and anger, he turned around _______________________, “Who on earth did it? (运用非谓语动词结构)
and roared with rage/in anger
roaring with rage/in anger
6. 他悲伤而疲惫，瘫倒在扶手椅上。
① He was sad and exhausted and __________________.
② ________________________, he collapsed into his armchair. (用形容词主补结构)
collapsed into his armchair
(Feeling) Sad and exhausted)
7. 太阳下山了，透过漆黑的一片很难看到任何东西。
Slowly, _____________________________________ and it was hard to see anything looking through the thick darkness. (运用拟人的修辞手法)
the sun hid himself behind the mountains
8. 真是难以置信，他能够在屋顶和墙壁倒下之前把考克斯夫人抱出来
① __________________________ he was able to carry Mrs. Cox out before the roof and walls fell. (用形式主语)
② ___________________, he was able to carry Mrs. Cox out before the roof and walls fell. (用副词作状语主语)
Incredibly /Unbelievably
It is incredible/ unbelievable that
9. 过了仿佛有一个世纪以后，富兰克林最终鼓起勇气走了出来
After ______________________, Franklin finally gathered courage to walk out. (用名词性从句)
what seemed for ages
Possible version 1
Franklin cupped his hand over Josh’s ear and began whispering his plan. When Josh heard what Franklin wanted, his mouth opened wide enough to swallow a dentist. He cried. “I’ll get into trouble!” “You have to! It’s my only chance” Franklin begged. In the end, Josh nodded. On Saturday morning Mr. and Mrs. Gates were still outside when Mr. Bragg rang the doorbell. Entering the house, Mr. Bragg stopped and sniffed the air, asking curiously “what's that disgusting smell?” Franklin told him the factory does fish pie on Saturdays, which made Mr. Bragg frowned. “Mind the mouse poo,” Franklin grinned, pointing to a pile of brown lumps. “It gets stuck in the carpet.” “ Urgh!” Mr Bragg pulled a face. He ran downstairs and out of the door.
Possible version 1
Mr. and Mrs. Gates were very angry. “You’d better explain what's going on!” Franklin knew he was in big trouble. He ran back and vacuumed up the chocolate drops on the carpet in his bedroom. Then he dried the lemonade on his bedroom wall. He said sorry to Josh for getting him into trouble, too. At last, he said sorry to his mum and dad. His mum was very upset. Mrs. Cox arrived and came up with a good idea, that is, swap her house with Franklin’s. “So we had one big house,” grinned Franklin. So everybody's happy except Mr. Bragg, he's bought number forty.
评点：首先，续写部分和原文及首句的融洽度高，第一段开头Franklin cupped his hand over Josh’s ear and began whispering his plan.说明Franklin的计划跟Josh有关。在所提供的最后一段文章中作者也提到了Josh的姐姐在鱼长工作，这些都给第一段的故事情节发展埋下了伏笔。所以作者在这个段落里重点写了Franklin怎样利用那些鱼去布置一些假象。使得Bragg先生很生气冲出了他家，从而很自然三与第二段衔接上了。第二段开头作者说父母很生气，那么Franklin又做了什么去弥补他所犯的错。最后也提供了解决问题的方法，和考克斯太太交换了房间，结局皆大欢喜。
其次，在语言上，这篇文章并没有一味采用大词、难词，而是在高中词汇范围内精挑细选，活用了许多小词，增加了许多阅读趣味。例如，文章第一句“mouth opened wide enough to swallow a dentist” 中，“swallow a dentist”一词就使用了夸张的修辞手法，把Josh惊讶的表情描写的非常生动、形象。同时“Mr. Bragg pulled a face”拉下脸中的“pull”也很形象、到位。
Possible version 2
Franklin cupped his hand over Josh’s ear and began whispering his plan. When Josh heard what Franklin wanted, his mouth opened wide enough to swallow a dentist. He cried. “I’ll get into trouble!” “You have to! It’s my only chance” Franklin begged. In the end, Josh nodded. On Saturday morning Mr. and Mrs. Gates were still outside when Mr. Bragg rang the doorbell. Entering the house, Mr. Bragg stopped and sniffed the air, asking curiously “what's that disgusting smell?” Franklin told him the factory does fish pie on Saturdays, which made Mr. Bragg frowned. “Mind the mouse poo,” Franklin grinned, pointing to a pile of brown lumps. “It gets stuck in the carpet.” “ Urgh!” Mr Bragg pulled a face. He ran downstairs and out of the door.
Possible version 2
Mr. and Mrs. Gates were very angry. Unable to contain/conceal their disbelief and anger, they turned around and roared with rage/in anger, “You’d better explain what's going on!” Franklin hid himself in the bedroom, shaking in his boots. After what seemed for ages, Franklin finally gathered courage to walk out. Quite out of his expectation, Mr. Gate knelt down and embraced Franklin in his arms, murmuring, “I’m sorry, my lovely boy. You are much more important than the house.” Over Mr. Gate’s shoulders, Mrs. Cox constantly winked at him. Clearly, she explained to Dad what had happened.
评点：首先，在逻辑上，文章前半段对剧情的合理拓展非常符合情境：主人公从向朋友求助到用尽办法让Mr. Bragg打消买房子的念头，最后向父母道歉。情节的丰富曲折增强了故事的可读性。在语言方面，文章使用了多个非谓语句型“Franklin hid himself in the bedroom, shaking in his boots.”表达了主人公紧张的状态；“Mr. Gate knelt down and embraced Franklin in his arms, murmuring,” 反映出了Mr. Bragg后悔的心情。地道的表达同样也给文章增添了文学色彩，如表示愤怒的“Unable to contain/conceal their disbelief and anger”；夸张的修辞“After what seemed for ages”。
A few days later, we visited Mr. Dan’s tidy house. Reminders of Mary still proudly displayed everywhere. He had gotten a haircut, shaved, and put on slacks and dress shoes. He looked ten years younger. He’d set out a child’s table, blank paper, and crayons for my little girl. He asked if she’d draw some pictures for him to display on his refrigerator. Norah excitedly agreed and went right to work. We ended up spending nearly three hours with Mr. Dan that day. Norah asks about Mr. Dan every day. She wants him to be OK and feel loved. Mr. Dan thinks about Norah too. After another recent visit, he told me that he had slept soundly every night since meeting my girl. “Norah has healed me,” he said. That left me speechless and my cheeks wet with tears. Seventy-eight years separate these two people in age. Somehow, their hearts and souls seem to recognize each other from long ago.
评点：第一段中老人说的简短的一句话，“自从妻子去世后好久都没这么放松和开心过了”并且脸上的微笑如钻石般闪耀，此处的人物喜乐情绪描写把老人Dan开心激动又深受感动的心情刻画地非常到位，对于故事后续的发展起到了推波助澜的作用。第二段中，excitedly agreed恰当地表现出了小女孩Norah作为一个四岁小孩子非常天真又单纯的开心情绪，对于刻画人物的形象起到了点睛之笔的作用。