作文指导课

(共28张PPT)
Let’s enjoy writing.
--A lesson on how to improve your writing.
2011年中考说明改卷标准
第五档：（13～15分）包含内容要点；语言基本无误；行文连贯，能使用修饰词或表示顺序、逻辑关系的连接词，表达清楚。
第四档：（10～12分）基本包含要点，遗漏少量次要点；语言有少量错误；行文基本连贯，表达基本清楚。
第三档：（7～9分）包含部分要点；语言虽有较多错误，尚能达意。
第二档：（3～6分）语言错误多，影响意思表达；错误百出，不知所云。
pollution
endangered animals
The problems of the Earth
natural disaster
The solutions of the Earth
What can we do to protect our earth
solutions
If everyone makes a contribution to our world, it will become much more beautiful.
Taking care of the environment is very important.
World Environment Day
On June 5th
在今年6月5日世界环境日即将到来之既,请写一篇发言稿呼吁全校同学共同保护环境,从我做起. 内容包括如下:
经常骑自行车或走路上学,父母骑车或走路上班.
节约用水,用电.不把污水倒入河中,不乱扔垃圾.
不用或少用一次性筷子或餐巾纸.
把用过的书本留给下届(lower grades) 学生.
请再提出1或2条建议.
How to write a composition well.
Lower Carbon
topic
phrases
tense
persons
sentences
conjunctions
connective
Sentences过渡词
在今年6月5日世界环境日即将到来之既,请写一篇发言稿呼吁全校同学共同保护环境,从我做起. 内容包括如下:
经常骑自行车或走路上学,父母骑车或走路上班.
节约用水,用电.不把污水倒入河中,不乱扔垃圾.
不用或少用一次性筷子或餐巾纸.
把用过的书本留给下届(lower grades) 学生.
请再提出1或2条建议.
Lower Carbon
topic
phrases
tense
persons
sentences
conjunctions
connective
Sentences过渡词
一般现在时
we
经常骑自行车或走路上学,父母骑车或走路上班.
节约用水,用电.不把污水倒入河中,不乱扔垃圾.
不用或少用一次性筷子(one-off chopsticks)或餐巾纸.
把用过的书本留给下届(lower grades) 学生.
go to school by bike.
= ride my bike to school.
go to work on foot.
= walk to work.
save water and electricity.
Don’t waste water or electricity.
pour waste water into the river
throw/litter rubbish about
throw rubbish everywhere
We should try not to use one-off chopsticks or napkins.
We should use one-off chopsticks as few as possible.
leave the used books to the students of lower grades.
give away the used books to the students of lower grades
drop rubbish everywhere
Examples:
We should love our earth. We should ride bike to school or work. If we can, we can go to school or work on foot. We should save water and electricity. We shouldn’t pour waste water into the river. We can’t threw rubbish. We shouldn’t use one-off chopsticks and paper napkins. We can give away our used books to the students of lower greades.
How many marks can he get
Make many mistakes in grammar.
It has no connective sentences(过渡词).
The structure (结构) is not very fluent(流畅).
The last point is missing.
How can we improve it
What kind of connective sentences(过渡词) do you know
解释说明：
On the one hand /on the other hand /on the whole
Firstly, secondly, thirdly, at last
发表感想连接词
To be honest
= To tell you the truth = Honestly speaking
In my opinion / in my mind / in my view
递进关系：
what’s more = besides
Meanwhile = at the same time
表示举例:
for example, for instance, such as
表示结果:
as a result, therefore, in this way,
表示转折:
but, however
表示时间顺序:
first, next, then, later, after that, finally, meanwhile
表示总结:
in general, in a word, in short
What kind of connective sentences(过渡词) do you know
Example:
As we know, environment is very important in our daily life, but do you know how to protect the environment
First, we should go to school by bike or on foot. Second, we shouldn't drop the litter everywhere. Third, we should keep our river clean and never pour waste water into the river. Don’t forget to turn off the lights when we leave home. If possible, we shouldn't use one-off chopsticks or paper napkins too many. Meanwhile, we shouldn't cut down trees. Instead, we should plant trees in spring. The more, the better. If we try our best , I'm sure our environment can get better and better!
Check:
spelling（拼写）
tense (时态)
handwriting（书写）
punctuation marks(标点符号)
After writing
可以帮我们开阔眼界
无足够食物,无同伴,很孤单
不用担心被杀死
可以放心生活
无自由, 只吃、睡,
会丧失求生技能
就像活教材
可以更好教育人们关心动物
被关在小笼子里
身子无法移动
赞同
反对
What do you think of zoos
你的看法-----------------------
Remember:
Before writing, you’d better speak it out first.
Zoos are important places for animals to live. First, they are like living textbooks which can educate the public about caring for animals better. Second, the animals in the zoo are quite safe and can live happily and safely. Besides, we can open up our eyes. However, some people disagree. Because many animals are kept in tiny cages and can hardly move at all. They have no freedom. Every day what they do is just to eat and sleep, which may make them lose their survival skills. What’s more, sometimes they don’t have enough food or playmates. They are lonely. In my opinion, it’s difficult to say. After all, every coin has two sides.
云南等地旱灾给我们带来了很多启示,其中之一就是我们应该节约用水.而在我们的日常生活中,存在各种各样的浪费行为.如离开教室不关电灯,不及时关水龙头,饭菜没有吃完就倒入垃圾桶,教科书不能循环利用等.请你写一篇以节约为主的文章,呼吁大家共同反对浪费,厉行节约.
参考词汇:
剩菜 leftover
教科书 textbook
水龙头 tap
号召某人做某事call on sb to do sth
1.Read your partner’s writing
2.Correct the mistakes
3. Talk about the composition
Learn from each other
Don’t be
afraid of
Writing.