鲁教版 英语九年级全册英语作文讲评课件28张

English writing
英语作文讲评
学习目标
1. To know what a good composition is.
2. To know how to write a good
composition.
3.To lead you to feel your changes during the four years.
studying
hard
being not
afraid of the dark
becoming brave
changing
learning methods
Changes
becoming
independent
being not shy
What is the biggest change?
成长路上我们总会经历很多，也总有很多成长故事将会影响我们的一生，而有的成长经历终将铸就不凡，不论是成长带来的快乐还是成长所引发的阵痛，我们都需要心存感激。请你结合下列图标信息，写一篇100词左右的英语短文，说说你初中四年最大的变化。
要求：
1.短文必须包括所有要点提示，语句通顺，意思连贯，可适当发挥;
2.题目和开头已给出，不计入总词数；
3.文中不得出现个人真实姓名和校名。
参考词汇：used to do, try one’s best, as long as
My Biggest Change in Junior Middle School
Time went by quickly. In the past four years, I have changed a lot.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}
你初中四年最大的变化是什么？
你初中最大的变化是如何发生的
你的感受
change

五档
四档
三档
二档
一档
body
ending
heading

Part 1
basic structure(基本结构安排)
整体三部分
Heading should be brief
点题；两三个句子；概括性
2. Body should be strong
中心记述部分；层次分明
3. Ending should be wonderful
小结；呼应主题
给阅卷人以好的第一直观印象

Part 2
basic steps(基本写作步骤)
search（审）
list（列）
connect(连)
beautify(美：谚语/例子)
人称
时态
要点
审(search)
成长路上我们总会经历很多，也总有很多成长故事将会影响我们的一生，而有的成长经历终将铸就不凡，不论是成长带来的快乐还是成长所引发的阵痛，我们都需要心存感激。请你结合下列图标信息，写一篇100词左右的英语短文，说说你初中四年最大的变化。
要求：
1.短文必须包括所有要点提示，语句通顺，意思连贯，可适当发挥;
2.题目和开头已给出，不计入总词数；
3.文中不得出现个人真实姓名和校名。
参考词汇：used to do, try one’s best, as long as
My Biggest Change in Junior Middle School
Time went by quickly. In the past four years, I have changed a lot.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
审(search)
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}
你初中四年最大的变化是什么？
你初中最大的变化是如何发生的
你的感受
change
人称 ：
时态：
要点

第一人称
一般过去时 一般现在时
? 最大变化是什么
? 如何发生
?你的感受

最大的变化
如何发生的
自己的感受
列(list)
根据以下关键词用简单的句子列出文章的要点。
Skill 1:List an outline.
(列大纲)
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}最大的变化
I amnot shy any more
I am outgoing
如何
发生
I took part in sports meeting
I failed
I was sad
The teacher praised me
5） I was moved
自己的感受
I am thankful to my teacher and my classmates.
I am proud of myself.
连(connect)
Skill 2: To use the linking words(关联词) to connect the sentences and the paragraphs.
My Biggest Change in Junior Middle School
Time went by quickly. In the past four years, I have
changed a lot.________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}最大的变化
I amnot shy any more
I am outgoing
参考词汇：used to do, try one’s best, as long as
My biggest change

My Biggest Change in Junior Middle School
Time went by quickly. In the past four years, I
. __________________ is
that I used to be shy ______now I am more outgoing and confident.
but
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}最大的变化
I amnot shy any more
I am outgoing
参考词汇：used to do, try one’s best, as long as
Para 1 Heading 开篇点题
have changed a lot
I still remember that in Grade Seven I took part in
the sports meeting.________, I was afraid of it___ I wanted to give up.______,my teacher kept on encouraging me.__________, I made up my mind
to try my best.___unfortunately, I failed .__________,
I felt sad.____________________________, my teacher and classmates praised me.______________
I became outgoing.
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}如何
发生
I took part in sports meeting
I was afraid
I failed
I was sad
The teacher praised me
At first
so
However
As a result
But
At that time
To my great surprise and relief
From then on
so , as a result ; but , however;
from then on , at first, at that time;
to my great surprise and relief
参考词汇：used to do, try one’s best, as long as
Para 2 body 正文 层次分明
Para 3.Ending 小结呼应主题
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}自己的感受
I am thankful to my teacher and classmates.
I am proud of myself.
Looking back at the time we spent together, I feel so lucky to have such good teachers and classmates that I want to say thanks to them.Furthemore, I know I will be proud of myself as long as I try my best. I am happy I am not shy anymore. What a big change I have made！
美(beautify)
I am thankful to my teacher and my classmates.
I am proud of myself.I am not shy any more.
Skill 3: Try to use the beautiful words and sentences while writing.高级词汇，复合句，谚语等。
书面表达写作技巧
审
列
连
美
clearly

Naturally
beautifully
三段式的优秀作文：（总-分-总）

1.审题不清，选材不切题；
2. 行文缺少逻辑性,表达思想不清楚，导致行文不流畅；
3. 遗漏题目要求的要点；
4. 句式单一，千篇一律地使用简单句；
5. 词汇量太小，且对已学词汇记忆不清，单词语法错误较多
6. 作文中的中文思维和汉化英语较多
7.书写不规范、字迹潦草。
中考学生的书面表达中存在的问题
part 3
句式结构混乱
1.I haven’t realized what was the importance of the independence.
2.There is always someone who around you.
3.Why I changed a lot.
词类误用错用
1.I am supposed to study more hard-working to give thanks to my teachers.
2.I used to do my homework careless.
3.I was complete shocked that time.
4.I became more and more healthy.
时态语态错用
1.I realized it is important to do some sports to keep healthy.
2.I was always laughed by my classmates.
汉式英语
1.I think that turning shy to outgoing is my biggest change.
2.I had a change because of my friend.
3.My biggest change is brave enough to face my mistakes.

Practice makes perfect!
Rome wasn't built in a day!
Summary
What have you got today?
你今天学到了什么？
初中生活即将结束，在这四年的学习与成长之中，你一定有许多收获和值得感恩的事情，但可能也会有不少的遗憾和愧疚，也许是朋友之间的一次争吵，也许是错过一次机会，或是对老师或朋友的一次误解等等。请以“One Thing I Regret Most in My Junior High School”为题，根据所给的要点和要求，用英语写一篇100词左右的短文，叙述你初中四年最遗憾的意见事情。
{5C22544A-7EE6-4342-B048-85BDC9FD1C3A}
介绍事情发生的背景
描述这件最遗憾的事情以及该事情发生后的解决办法
这件事情对自己的启示
你有遗憾吗
要求：1.短文须包括所有要点提示，语句通顺，意思连贯，可适当发挥。
2.题目和开头已给出，不计入总次数。
3.文中不得出现个人真实姓名和校名。
参考词汇：fail to do, not ......until,be afraid of, learn from
Homework
One Thing I Regret Most in My Junior High School

In the past three years, the life of middle school has impressed me deeply . Many stories happened . The following is one of them._______________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thank you！
Good bye！