高考英语——读后续写之心理活动细节描写教案

中小学教育资源及组卷应用平台
专题课后续写-动作描写
学习目标：
1.掌握关于动作细节描写的高级词汇，句型等表达；
学习方法：
01
细化动作，写出动作过程
在描写动作时，要细化动作，把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作，形成动作链。
在教学中可以让学生学会描写动作时不仅表现“在做什么”，而且表现“在怎样做”，如通过动词填空练习，让学生用恰当的动词补全动作过程；通过动词分解练习，让学生将一个动作环节分解成多个动作，形成动作链；通过情景写作训练，让学生根据给定情景写出人物的动作过程。
E.G.
人教版高中英语教材Module
7
Unit
2
Robots中，当Claire从梯子上掉下来Tony设法接住她时，描写了Claire的一系列动作，screamed、pushed
him
away和ran
to
her
room，这一动作过程就把Claire的惊吓、羞愧和不知所措表现得淋漓尽致。
02
精选动词，做到描述精准
在描写动作时，要准确抓住人物在特定情景中行动的特点，所选动作要体现人物特征，比如年龄、性格、性别、身份、环境、情景等。
在教学中，首先，指导学生扩大词汇量，尤其是动词词汇，熟练甄别相近动词的意义和适用语境；其次，发挥教材和其他阅读文本的示范作用，引导学生体会和感悟动词用法并学习借鉴。
E.G.
人教版高中英语教材Module
7
Unit
3
Under
the
Sea中这样描写Old
Tom的动作：We
ran
down
to
the
shore
in
time
to
see
an
enormous
animal
opposite
us
throwing
itself
out
of
the
water
and
then
crashing
down
again.
句中用了throwing和crashing两个动词，相比于其他动词（如jumping和dropping
）更为精准，让读者充分感受到了Old
Tom的重量和动作的力量。
03
添加修饰成分，实现描写生动
动作描写中最常见的修饰成分就是状语，如副词、介词短语等。
例如，在体现动作的迅速和短暂时，我们可以添加以下修饰语：suddenly、immediately、instantly、swiftly、rapidly、hastily、speedily、promptly、without
pausing、without
delay等。
另外，把动作和表情、心理结合起来描写，能写出人物的动作所表现出的神态、想法，从而能更生动地刻画人物性格。例如，将动作looked
at、reached
for和with
wonder、was
amazed以及“How
absurd!”“He
was
just
a
machine!”等表情和心理描写结合起来，更好地表现了难以置信。
课堂练习：
中译英
1）她从我身边飞奔过去,
跑进屋里。?
She
______shot
past
me_________________
into
the
house.?
2）他紧紧抓着我的手臂,
快步往门口走去。
He
_______took
a
firm
grip
of__________________
my
arm
and
marched
towards_______
the
door.?
3)她在花园里跪着除杂草。?
She
was
____on
her
knees__________________,
weeding
the
garden.?
知识点一（动作细节描写如何来写）
【知识梳理】
一．如何将动作细节描写到位？
1）构造动作链
He
gave
a
jump
in
the
air,
twirled,
ran
a
few
steps,
stopped,
looked
all
around,
sniffed
the
smells
of
afternoon,
and
then
set
off
walking
down
through
the
orchard.
他先是蹦跶了一下，原地转了几圈，再跑上几步，又停了下来，四下望了望，嗅了嗅午后暖洋洋的空气，然后一路跑进了果园。（开心的场景）
Alice
started
to
her
feet,
for
it
flashed
across
her
mind
that
she
had
never
before
seen
such
a
rabbit,
and
burning
with
curiosity,
she
ran
across
the
field
after
it.
爱丽丝跳了起来，因为她突然想到她从来没见过这样的兔子。她好奇地穿过田野，追赶那只兔子。
Abel
was
quick.
Good
Lord,
he
was
fast.
The
ringleader
had
made
a
dash
for
it,
trying
to
climb
over
a
hall.
Abel
grabbed
him,
pulled
him
down
and
dragged
him
back.
Abel
跑的很快。这个元凶往前冲，试图反爬过大厅。但是Abel抓住他，把他拉下来并且拖了回去。
2）情节前提：
A.“抢劫”
_________________→_____________→___________________
参考答案：
突然出现→刀子抵住脖子→说到：把钱交出来
The
robber
appeared
suddenly,
press
a
knife
against
my
neck
and
muttered
threats,”Hand
over
all
the
money.”
B.她获奖，要发言。以“发言”为关键词写出动作链。
_________________→_____________→___________________
参加答案：看了眼奖杯→深吸一口气→说到....
句子：She
glanced
at
the
trophy,
took
a
deep
breath
and
said,”.......”
【随堂练习】
他俯过身来在我耳边低语。
He_____bent
toward__________
me
and
whispered
in
my
ear.?
本悄悄地溜出了房间。
Ben
___slipped
quietly
out
of_the
room.?
我抓住她的手,
小心地带她离开。
I
took
hold
of
her
hand
and
gently
led
her
away?
杰克焦虑地瞥了母亲一眼。?
Jack_threw
an
anxious
glance
at
his
mother.?
我吃力地下床走进浴室。?
_I
dragged
myself
out
of
bed
and
into
the
bathroom.?
情节前提：看到失散的儿子，一把抱住。
以“抱住”为关键词写出动作链。
_________________→_____________→___________________
参考答案：
冲上前→
蹲下来→一把抱住。
句子：
She
dashed
forward,
knelt
down
and
gather
her
son
into
her
arm.
二．写作技巧：
1）The
exhausted
hiker
dragged
his
legs
along
the
country
road.
（用具体准确的动词来表现“精疲力竭”）
2）The
old
man
sprang
from
the
chair,
stormed
out
of
the
house
and
slammed
the
door
behind
him.
（用一连串生动的词语来表现“生气”）
3）The
younger
son
inherited
his
father’s
bad
habit,
spending
money
like
water.
（用比喻来表现“陋习”）
三．动词描写美句
1.
She?shot?her
a
meaningful
look.--《秘密花园》（Secret
Garden）她向他意味深长地看了一眼。2.
Beli’s?diamond
eyes?locked
on
to?her.--《奥斯卡·瓦奥短暂而奇妙的一生》贝利钻石般的眼睛紧盯着她。3.
Mary
felt
her
heart?race.玛丽感到她的心跳加速。4.
A
great
silence?surrounded?them.--《
歌剧魅影The
Phantom
of
the
Opera
》周围一片寂静。5.
His
name?had?completely?slipped
from?my
memory.---《Wuthering
Heights》他的名字，我竟忘得一干二净。6.?He?stormed?out
and?slammed?the
door
shut.他怒气冲冲地跑了出去，把门重重地关上。7.?We
were?merrily
driving?on
the
highway
when
suddenly
one
tyre?burst.我们正在高速路上欢快地开着车突然一个轮胎爆胎了。8.?Jenny
walked
slowly
to
the
front,
with
her
legs?trembling?and
her
heart?bumpingnearly
out
of
her
chest.Jenny慢慢走到讲台，腿发抖，心都快跳出来了。9.?She?choked?and
her
eyes?brimmed?with
tears.她喉咙哽咽，眼里满是泪水。10.The
moment
he
finished
his
speech
in
a
magnetic
voice,
a
wave
of
applauseerupted?from
the
audience.他用磁性的嗓音完成了演讲，观众席中暴发一阵掌声。11.
He?stood
leaning
against
the
wall,
unable
to
speak.他靠着墙站着，说不出话来。（表达伤心）12.
She?hugged
them
to
her
chest,
and
at
last
she
was
able
to?look
up
with
tearful
eyes
and
a
smile.她把它们紧紧地抱在胸前，终于抬起头来，泪流满面地微笑着。13.
He?gave
a
jump?in
the
air,?twirled,
ran
a
few
steps,
stopped,
looked
all
around,
sniffed?the
smells
of
afternoon,
and
then?set
off
walking
down?through
the
orchard.他先是蹦跶了一下，原地转了几圈，再跑上几步，又停了下来，四下望了望，嗅了嗅午后暖洋洋的空气，然后一路跑进了果园。（开心的场景）14.
Even
as
I
was?digging
into
my
pocket?to
get
out
my
revolver,
I?made
a
running
step
back.当我在口袋里掏出左轮手枪的时候，我后退了一步。（描写恐惧）15.
Alice?started
to
her
feet,
for
it?flashed
across
her
mind?that
she
had
never
before
seen
such
a
rabbit,
and?burning
with
curiosity,
she
ran
across
the
field
after
it.爱丽丝跳了起来，因为她突然想到她从来没见过这样的兔子。她好奇地穿过田野，追赶那只兔子。16.
We
got
into?his
car
and?drove
up
the
road,?stopped?a
few
houses
down
from
the
tree.我们上了车，开上道路，然后停在了离这棵树有些距离的地方。17.
Abel
was
quick.
Good
Lord,
he
was
fast.
The
ringleader
had?made
a
dash
for
it,
trying
to?climb
over?a
hall.
Abel?grabbed?him,?pulled
him
down?and?dragged
him
back.Abel
跑的很快。这个元凶往前冲，试图反爬过大厅。但是Abel抓住他，把他拉下来并且拖了回去。18.
In
between
sobs?I
told
her
the
story.在哭的时候，告诉她这个故事.19.
I
ran
back
home,
smiling
and?skipping
along?.我蹦蹦跳跳地笑着跑回家20.
Abel?slammed?his
foot
on
the
gas
and?shot
up
onto?the
grass
and
straight
toward
the
bottom
of
the
tree.Able
在汽油上用力踩了一下，然后飞快的踏上草坪直直地朝树底下走去。21.
Her
pulses?beat
fast,
and
the
blood?warmed?and?relaxed?every
inch
of
her
body.她的心跳加快，热血温暖了身体的每个部位，使她感觉到身心完全地放松了22.
She?arose
at
length?and
opened
the
door
to
her
sister’s
request.她最终站起来，在她姐姐的请求下开了门23.
The
waiter
watched
him
go
down
the
street,
a
very
old
man?walking
unsteadily
but
with
dignity.那个侍者瞅着他顺着大街走去，这个年纪大的人走起路来虽然脚步不稳，却很神气。
四．不同部位动作描写的相关词汇
看的动作描写
1.
We
all
gather
in
front
of
the
television,
praying
to
catch
a
glance/glimpse
of
his
face.
2.
Seeing
no
other
people
notice
us,
I
placed
the
Christmas
present
down
and
pounded
his
doorbell.
3.
Her
eyes
fell
on
the
photos
of
her
and
me
at
my
fourth
birthday
party.
4.
Singing
happily,
she
gazed
at
her
surroundings
with
large,
innocent
eyes.
5.
The
woman
was
staring
eagerly
at
the
girl,
trying
to
make
a
conversation.
6.
I
watched
helplessly,
as
the
woman
felt
more
and
more
frustrated
and
hopeless.
7.
Then
I
crept
downstairs
and
examined
the
tags
attached
to
each
of
the
packages.
8.
When
he
finished
he
raised/lifted
his
eyes
and
looked
out
the
window.
9.
She
had
spotted
a
man
pacing
down
the
hall.
10.
When
the
students
stepped
off
the
bus,
James’s
eyes
widened
in
surprise.
11.
We
recognized
the
famous
comedian
on
his
arrival.
12.
Meghan
nodded
seriously,
eyes
glistening
with
held-back
tears.
13.
Swallowing
hard,
I
stared
into
Meghan’s
eyes
for
a
long
moment,
wondering
how
I
could
cope
with
it.
14.
Then
he
jumped
up,
eyes
twinkling
as
he
ran
to
fetch
some
of
his
prized
Matchbox
cars.
说话的动作描写
1.
Reuben
murmured
a
thank
you
and
ran
home
all
the
way.
2.
“Here,
Mum!
Here!”Reuben
exclaimed
as
he
ran
to
her
side.
3.
A
young
man
came
to
the
police
station,
surrounded
by
a
group
of
journalists,
declaring
that
he
had
spotted
the
murderer.
4.
“Time
to
go.”?I
whispered
to
the
girl,
wishing
she
could
follow
me
right
away.
5.
My
teammates
were
all
screaming
as
I
dashed
toward
the
finish
line.
6.
I
picked
up
the
ball
one
last
time
and
grumbled,?“Please
just
come
to
get
the
damn
ball.”
7.“How
can
I
let
you
throw
away
the
thing
that
means
the
most
to
you?”
I
pleaded(再三恳求)
with
him.
8.
They
let
out
a
surprisingly
loud
voice.
9.
He
interrupted
the
silence
with
an
announcement:?“The
deadline
to
enter
for
the
Competition
is
tomorrow.”
10.
Rose
scolded
the
child
gently
for
being
naughty.
手上动作的描写
1.
Speechless,
she
smiled
radiantly
and
gathered
her
son
into
her
arms.
2.
The
nearer
it
got,
the
more
she
waved
the
yellow
blouse
wildly
.
3.
The
man
gently
wrapped
the
gift
in
brown
paper?and
placed
the
parcel
in
Reuben's
hands.
4.
As
we
shook
hands
with
the
new
owners,
I
told
them
how
fortunate
they
were.
5.
He
patted
my
head,
and
inquired:?“Is
there
anything
particular
you
want?”
6.
He
was
squeezing
my
wrist
so
hard
that
it
ached.
7.
She
stroked
(轻抚，抚摸)her
fingers
through
my
hair,
and
said:?“Of
course
there
is
a
Santa
Clause.”
8.
Stevie
looked
at
me,
and
then
at
his
mother,
then
pulled
out
one
of
the
napkins.
9.
The
class
clapped
warmly
as
Mr.
Lee
presented
me
with
the
reward.
10.
He
reached
into
his
pocket
and
withdrew
a
note.
11.
Mrs.
Damon
pointed
to
the
quotation
from
Albert
Einstein
hanging
on
the
wall.
12.?She
nervously
fingered
her
collar.
13.
She
tapped
him
on
the
shoulder.
14.
He
grasped
my
hand
and
we
ran.
15.
She
grabbed
her
briefcase
and
ran
to
the
bus
stop.
16.
The
thief
snatched
the
handbag
and
disappeared
into
the
crowd.
脚上动作描写
1.
Then
Lisa
stood
up
and
made
her
way
through
the
crowd
toward
me.
2.
Lisa
planted
her
feet
firmly
in
front
of
me.
3.
Reuben
ran/rushed
down
Water
Street,
trembling
with
great
panic.
4.
Racing
home,
Reuben
burst
through
the
front
door.
5.
Belle
Ringer
nodded
thoughtfully,
and
Frannie
hurried
off
to
wait
on
the
rest
of
her
tables.
6.
I
led
them
toward
a
large
corner
booth.
I
could
feel
the
rest
of
the
staff
following
behind
as
we
marched
through
the
dining
room.
7.
I
dragged
myself
through
daily
chores,
feeling
exhausted.
8.
The
elderly
man
fled
away
with
great
panic.
9.
The
man
stepped
back/stepped
onto
the
platform
to
take
a
good
look
at
the
paintings.?
10.
He
leaped
to
his
feet
and
rushed
out
of
the
living
room.
11.
He
sprung
from
his
chair
and
rushed
to
pick
up
the
telephone.
12.
Please
remain
seated
until
your
name
is
called.
13.
He
was
so
drunk
that
he
staggered
all
the
way
home.
14.
She
stumbled
upstairs
and
into
bed.
15.
She
tiptoed
to
the
bed
so
as
not
to
wake
the
baby.
16.
They
strolled
around
the
park.
17.
He
paced
up
and
down
the
platform,
waiting
for
the
train.
18.
Paul
decided
to
edge
away(缓缓移动)
from
the
crowd.
19.
The
cat
crept
silently
towards
the
bird.
20.
The
boy
sneaked
in
without
paying.
21.
He
tripped
over
the
step
and
fell.
五．真题分析
阅读下面短文,
根据所给情节进行续写,
使之构成一个完整的故事。（2016浙江高考读后续写）
One
weekend
in
July,
Jane
and
her
husband,
Tom,
had
driven
three
hours
to
camp
overnight
by
a
lake
in
the
forest.
Unfortunately,
on
the
way
an
unpleasant
subject
came
up
and
they
started
to
quarrel.
By
the
time
they
reached
the
lake,
Jane
was
so
angry
that
she
said
to
Tom,
“I’m
going
to
find
a
better
spot
for
us
to
camp”
and
walked
away.
With
no
path
to
follow,
Jane
just
walked
on
for
quite
a
long
time.
After
she
had
climbed
to
a
high
place,
she
turned
around,
hoping
to
see
the
lake.
To
her
surprise,
she
saw
nothing
but
forest
and,
far
beyond,
a
snowcapped
mountain
top.
She
suddenly
realized
that
she
was
lost.
“Tom!”
she
cried.
“Help!”
No
reply.
If
only
she
had
not
left
her
mobile
phone
in
that
bag
with
Tom.
Jane
kept
moving,
but
the
farther
she
walked,
the
more
confused
she
became.
As
night
was
beginning
to
fall,
Jane
was
so
tired
that
she
had
to
stop
for
the
night.
Lying
awake
in
the
dark,
Jane
wanted
very
much
to
be
with
Tom
and
her
family.
She
wanted
to
hold
him
and
tell
him
how
much
she
loved
him.
Jane
rose
at
the
break
of
day,
hungry
and
thirsty.
She
could
hear
water
trickling
(滴落)
somewhere
at
a
distance.
Quickly
she
followed
the
sound
to
a
stream.
To
her
great
joy,
she
also
saw
some
berry
bushes.
She
drank
and
ate
a
few
berries.
Never
in
her
life
had
she
tasted
anything
better.
Feeling
stronger
now,
Jane
began
to
walk
along
the
stream
and
hope
it
would
lead
her
to
the
lake.
As
she
picked
her
ways
carefully
along
the
stream,
Jane
heard
a
helicopter.
Is
that
for
me?
Unfortunately,
the
trees
made
it
impossible
for
people
to
see
her
from
above.
A
few
minutes
later,
another
helicopter
flew
overhead.
Jane
took
off
her
yellow
blouse,
thinking
that
she
should
go
to
an
open
area
and
flag
them
if
they
came
back
again.
注意：
1.
所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2.
应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3.
续写部分分为两段,
每段的开头语已为你写好；
4.
续写完成后,
请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
分析原文写作技巧：
通过真题我们可以看到:
第一动作描写应该围绕一个中心展开，否则会导致叙述散乱，内容混杂；第二动作描写应该组织一系列的动词，以动作的次第发生来叙述整个过程；第三动作描写应该有相应信息的支撑以丰富细节内容，增强可读性；
语法结构有时间状语从句,
结果状语从句,
条件状语从句,
宾语从句,
非谓语动词doing,
虚拟语气,
倒装,
疑问句,
感叹句,
介词短语等。
可续写线索分析：
据第一段开头dark可知,
又要在荒野再过一晚。环境描写。大量心理活动,
后悔？想念？期待？坚持？夜里有没有遇到蛇、老虎、狮子？
2.
据第二段开头woke
up可知,
第一段应有Jane入睡的情节。
3.
第二段情节可能：醒来看到Tom；或者醒来在医院；或者贵人相助；或者直升机救援；或者独自找到湖……
挖掘可用词汇：
情感心理：exhausted,
frightened,
guilty,
overjoyed
动作：
sleep,
catch
sight
of,
think
to
oneself,
hug,
smile,
jump,
wave,
dash,
burst
into
tears
环境：dark,
daybreak,
an
open
area
范文：
One
possible
version:
Paragraph
1:
But
the
helicopter
didn’t
come
back
again,
and
the
day
became
darker.
It
was
of
little
possibility
to
continue
walking
along
the
stream
in
the
darkness,
but
Jane
didn’t
give
up.
She
thought
to
herself,
“If
only
I
hadn’t
quarreled
with
Tom.”
About
one
hour’s
walk,
to
her
great
joy,
Jane
came
to
an
open
area,
where
she
managed
to
make
a
flag
with
her
yellow
blouse.
So
exhausted
was
Jane
that
she
fell
asleep
the
moment
she
closed
her
eyes.
Paragraph
2:
Jane
woke
up
at
the
daybreak.
All
of
a
sudden,
she
heard
the
noise
of
a
helicopter
at
a
distance.
Jane
jumped
to
her
feet,
waving
her
hand-made
flag
and
crying
for
help.
Fortunately,
the
helicopter
noticed
the
poor
woman.
Tom
dashed
out
as
soon
as
the
helicopter
landed
and
hugged
Jane
tightly.
Tears
of
joy
and
guilt
ran
down
her
face,
Jane
said
to
her
husband
how
much
she
loved
and
missed
him.
They
enjoyed
the
happiness
of
reunion.
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