中小学教育资源及组卷应用平台
专题课后续写-环境描写
学习目标:
1.掌握关于环境细节描写的高级词汇,句型等表达;
学会用不同方式描写环境,丰富情节发展
学习方法:
理解环境描写的意图:
环境描写就是对故事中人物展开活动的场所背景进行的描写。通过对环境的描写,起到融情与景的效果。能够向读者交待故事的背景,衬托人物,渲染气氛,从而推动情节发展。过环境描写向读者间接的表达着故事中主人公的内心情感变化。环境描写可以从客观和主观两个角度展开:客观为从环境事物本身入手展开描写;主观则从观察者角度描写入手。通常在描写时主客观交替进行。
环境描写方式:
A.写客观环境事物
描写环境事物,可以直接描写故事的背景事物,如日月星辰,风雨雪等。读后续写中有很多篇章是游记,探险,旅游等,在要求续写时很多情况是故事发生到一定程度环境发生了变化,比如探险迷路,旅游脱离了组织等等。因此续写时需要描写周围的客观环境。
对太阳的描写:
1.As
the
sun
went
down,
there
was
a
bar
of
red
over
the
western
hills.
日落时分,一道红霞笼罩在西山上。
2.The
sun
broke
through
at
around
lunchtime.
午饭时分,太阳破云而出。
3.The
sun
shone
through
a
break
in
the
clouds.
阳光透过云层的缝隙照下来。
4.A
ray
of
sunshine
came
straight
into
my
room.
一缕阳光直射进我的房间里。
5.The
sun
rose
above
the
dusky
sea,
and
a
little
half-wheel
of
mauve
(淡紫色)
flame
immediately
lit
up
the
dim
(昏暗的)
sky.
太阳跃出灰蒙蒙的海面,小半轮紫红色的火焰,立刻将暗淡的天空照亮了。
6.The
sun
had
just
risen
to
the
top
of
the
mountain,
and
was
hidden
by
the
bright
red
morning
glow
(朝霞).
The
sun
was
shining
through
the
clouds
like
a
number
of
dragons
spewing
(喷出)
golden
waterfalls.
太阳刚刚升到山顶,被明亮的朝霞遮住了。太阳在云层中闪耀,就像许多龙喷出的金色瀑布。
7.The
sun
was
pushing
its
way
over
the
edge
of
the
world.
太阳在天边缓缓升起。
8.Dawn
sent
shimmering
rays
over
the
placid
ocean,bestowing
a
golden
path
from
shore
to
the
horizon.
黎明在平静的海面上放射出闪闪发亮的光线,留下一条从海岸到地平线横亘而过的金色道路。
9.The
sun
glared
out
of
the
blue
sky.
太阳在蔚蓝色的天空中发出耀眼的光芒。
10.be
bathed
in/bask
in/be
blessed
with/enjoy
bright/brilliant/glorious
sunshine.
沐浴着/享受着
明媚的/灿烂的
阳光
11.The
sun
shines/warms
sth/beats
down(on
sth)
太阳
照耀着/温暖着/照射在……
12.The
sunshine
breaks/streams
through
sth
阳光穿过……
13.The
sun
disappeared
behind
a
bank
of
clouds.
太阳消失在一大片云后面。
14.Black
clouds
blocked
out
the
sun.
乌云遮住了太阳。
对天空的描写:
At
midnight
the
sky
became
clearer
and
the
stars
grew
brighter.
It
was
so
quiet.
There
was
almost
no
wind—only
the
flames
of
our
fire
for
company.
午夜时分天空变得更加的清澈星星更加的明亮。周围如此安静。几乎没有风,陪伴我们的只有火苗。
She
sat
on
the
damp
grass,
and
stared
up
at
the
pale
stars
in
the
vast
sky,
tears
streaming
down
her
dirty
face.
The
bone-chilling
howling
wind
forced
her
to
curl
up.
她坐在潮湿的草地上,抬头凝望着广阔的夜空中暗淡的星星,眼泪从脏兮兮的脸庞滑落。刺骨的怒号的大风让她瑟瑟缩成了一团。
The
sky
was
clear
without
a
cloud.
晴空万里,天上没有一丝云彩。
The
sky
is
high,
clean,
patches
of
white
clouds
gently
floating.
天空高远、洁净,片片白云轻轻飘着。
5.The
sky
was
blood-red
with
the
setting
sun.
天空被夕阳染成了血红色。
6.In
the
east
there
was
a
fish-belly
white.
东方泛起了鱼肚似的淡白色。
7.The
stars
that
dotted
the
sky
lit
up
the
night.
星星点点的天空照亮了夜晚。
8.The
sky
was
dotted
with
stars.
繁星满天。
对雨的描写:
1.The
ground
is
kissed
by
the
rain.
雨亲吻着地面。
2.The
rain
drummed
on
the
window,bidding
farewell
to
the
last
beam
of
sunlight.
雨敲打在窗上,并向最后一缕阳光告别。
3..A
sense
of
cleanliness
caresses
the
atmosphere,washing
away
all
impurities.
清新的感觉抚慰着空气,洗去了所有的杂质。
4.It’s
raining
cats
and
dogs
outside.
外面下着倾盆大雨。
5.Spring
rain,
like
cattle
hair,
like
needle,
like
fine
silk,
closely
inclined
weaving.
春雨,像牛毛、像花针、像细丝,密密地斜织着。
6.The
rain
falls/come
down/pours
down.
下雨了;大雨倾盆而下;大雨滂沱
7.The
rain
stops/lets
up.
雨停了/小了。
对风的描写:
1.The
wind
had
picked
up.
风愈刮愈大。
2.It
was
getting
dark
and
the
wind
died
away.
天渐渐黑了,风渐渐小了。
3.A
gentle/light/stiff/cool/warm/sea
breeze
blows
in/comes
in
off
the
sea.
微风/轻风/强风/凉爽的风/暖风/海风从海上吹来。
4.The
wind
blows/whistles/howls/picks
up/whips
through
sth/sweeps
across
sth.
风刮/飕飕的刮/呼啸而过/愈刮愈大/刮过……/掠过……
5.The
trees
were
buffeted
by
strong
winds.
树被强风挂倒了。
B.写主观感受
通过描写故事中人物对环境的的主观感受,一般为眼耳鼻舌的感受,让读者预知人物的情感变化,间接烘托气氛。通过对不同自然现象等细节描写:
At
one
point
we
were
so
high
that
we
found
ourselves
cycling
through
clouds.
曾经我们骑行的如此之高以至于我们发现自己在云中穿梭。
2.The
last
sunshine
gradually
cast
her
shadow
on
the
beach,leaving
a
long
and
lonely
figure
in
sight.
最后的阳光渐渐地把她的影子投射在海滩上,留下一个长长的、孤独的身影。
3.The
dark
,
rainy
evening,
the
wind,
the
thundering
clouds
held
me
entirely
in
their
power;
it
was
the
first
time
in
a
year
and
a
half
that
I’d
seen
the
night
face
to
face.
漆黑的夜晚,
风雨交加,电闪雷鸣,我全然被这种力量镇住了,这是我一年半以来第一次目睹夜晚。
3.丰富词汇和句型
A.
常见环境描写词汇
1.)
客观事物的描述:在写作中,对客观环境的描写往往通过动词和修饰性的形容词来直接展开描述。
①常用的动词:
对风的描述:
blow
刮
howl
怒号
roar
呼啸
whip
鞭打
kiss
亲吻
对雨的描述:
beat
against
拍打
pour
down
倾盆
fall
落下
对雪的描述:dance
跳舞
float/
fall
飘落
melt
away
融化
blanket
裹住
be
covered
with被…覆盖
对星星的描述:shine
发光
twinkle
闪耀
decorate
装饰
hide
躲藏
对太阳的描述:come
out
出来
rise
升起
set
落下
be
bathed
in
沐浴在
flood
in
照射进来
②常用的形容词:
对风/雨的描述:
gentle/soft
轻柔的
warm
温暖的
pleasant
令人愉悦的
icy/
freezing
冰冷的
strong/
violent
猛烈的
howling
呼啸的
bone-chilling
刺骨的
dreadful可怕的
对雪的描述:feathery
鹅毛般的
tiny
极小的
pure
纯洁的
clean
干净的
对星星的描述:lovely
可爱的
little
小的
shining/glowing
亮闪闪的
pale/faint
暗淡的
starless
没有星星的
对太阳的描述:warm温暖的
burning
火辣辣的
③其他的名词表达:the
blue
sky
蓝天the
song
of
the
birds
鸟鸣
the
fragrant
flowers/rose
芬香的花
/
玫瑰
the
green
grass
青草
the
rising
sun
冉冉升起的太阳
the
setting
sun
落日
2)主观感受的表达:对主观感受的描述则通过眼耳鼻舌身意来间接表达。
①视觉:
常用动词:see/look
at
看见
notice
注意到
observe
观察
find
发现
常用形容词:huge/
giant/
enormous/
vast
大的
tiny/little/small
小的
sparkling/twinkling
发光的
steep
陡峭的
deep
深的
narrow
窄的
wide/broad
宽阔的
winding
蜿蜒的
foggy
有雾的
misty
模糊的
②触觉:
常用动词:
feel
感觉
sense
意识到
常用形容词:
hard坚硬的
soft
柔软的
gentle
温柔的
silky
/smooth
光滑的
sharp
锋利的
rough
粗糙的
burning/scorching火辣辣的
icy/freezing冰冷的biting刺骨的;bone-chilling刺骨的;
wet/damp潮湿的
silky
丝滑的
sharp尖锐的
rough
粗糙的
bumpy
崎岖不平的shaggy毛茸茸的;
wooden木质的
③听觉:
常用动词:
hear/
listen
to
听到
常用形容词:low低的
high
高的
noisy吵闹的
deafening震耳欲聋的
howling
怒号的;猛烈的
melodious
悦耳的gurgling
潺潺的(流水)
④嗅觉:
常用动词:smell
闻到
常用形容词:smelly/foul/stinky臭的;难闻的
fragrant香的
fresh新鲜的
sweet
香甜的
choking
令人窒息的
⑤
其他的句式表达
find
sth
adj./doing/
done
发现某物是…的/
正在做/
正在被…
see/
hear/
feel/
smell
sth
doing/done
看见/听见/
闻到某物正在做/
被…
hold
sb
entirely
in
one’s
power
某物让某人惊呆了
It
looks
/seems
/
appears
/
feels
like/that
…
看上去/
似乎/
感觉像…
be
+adj.
to
find/
feel
that….我们..的发现/
感觉….
修辞手法的运用
Simile:
It
is
a
figure
of
speech
which
makes
a
comparison
between
two
unlike
elements
having
at
least
one
quality
or
characteristic
in
common.
明喻是比喻修辞的一种,在强调两种事物的相似点的同时,本体、喻体、喻词都出现,且能使语言生动形象。喻词有
like,
as
,
as...as,
as
if,
of,
compared
to,
be
similar
to,
what等。
如下例句:
The
scenery
along
the
journey
is
just
like
a
breath-taking
landscape
painting.
(景物描写)
沿路的风景就像一幅美丽的山水画卷。
The
icy
wind
started
howling,
cutting
my
face
like
a
sharp
knife.(景物描写)
寒风开始咆哮,像锋利的小刀一样刺痛了我的脸。
Clusters
of
stars
decorated
the
vast
sky
like
sparkling
jewels.(景物描写)
繁星像珊珊发光的珠宝一样装饰了浩瀚的天空。
Metaphor:
It
is
a
figure
of
speech
containing
an
implied
comparison,
in
which
a
word
or
phrase
ordinarily
and
primarily
used
of
one
thing
is
applied
to
another.
Unlike
simile,
a
word
or
a
phrase
that
compares
one
thing
to
another,
using
the
words
like
or
as.
暗喻是比喻修辞的一种,用一种事物比喻另一种事物,本体喻体都出现,中间常用喻词“是”等连接,有时不用喻词。暗喻的典型形式为:甲是乙,而不用like,
as等喻词。
例句:
The
beautiful
park
was
a
scented
carpet
of
color.(景物描写)
美丽的公园就是一个芬芳的彩色地毯。
A
heavy
silence
blanketed
the
room.(环境描写)
整个房子沉浸在一片寂寞中。
Personification拟人:It
gives
human
form
of
feelings
to
animals,
or
le
and
personal
attributes(赋予)
to
inanimate
(无生命的)
objects,
or
to
ideas
and
abstractions(抽象).
Personification与汉语拟人完全相同,就是赋予物以人的语言属性。这种拟人化的修辞手法读起来使人感到特别形象生动,富有情趣。
例句:
The
wind
stood
up
and
gave
a
shout
.
(景物描写)
大风凛冽,发出怒吼。
The
breeze
gently
kissed
her
cheeks.
(景物描写)
微风轻柔地亲吻着她的脸庞。
The
feathery
snowflakes
danced
in
the
night
air,
making
a
beautiful
picture.(景物描写)
鹅毛般的雪花在空中飞舞,像一幅美丽的图画。
The
mist
swallowed
him
up.
(景物描写)
薄雾把他包围起来。
The
icy
wind
started
howling,
stinging
my
face.(景物描写)
寒风开始咆哮,刺痛了我的脸。
Stars
winked
at
me
in
a
darkening
sky.(景物描写)
夜空中星星向我眨眼睛。
Immediately,
an
absolute
darkness
ruled
the
forest.(景物描写)
顷刻间,黑暗统治了森林。
In
the
dead
of
night,
the
crickets蟋蟀
played
on
the
terrace
of
the
house.
寂静的夜,蟋蟀旁若无人地在房子的阳台上玩。(景物描写)
Birds
on
the
tree
are
singing
a
beatiful
song.(景物描写)
树上的小鸟在树上唱着美妙的歌曲。
The
frogs
are
giving
a
concert---mixed
chorus.(景物描写)
青蛙在举办音乐会---混声大合唱。
Fireflies
patrol
the
grass
with
small
lanterns
(景物描写)
萤火虫提着小灯笼在草丛中巡逻。
4)拟声词的用法
1).
They
heard
the
twitter/chatter
of
birds
among
the
bushes.
他们听到树丛中鸟儿发出的叽叽喳喳声。
2).The
wolf's
long
howl
paralyzed
Mac.
狼的长嚎声让他一动也不敢动。
3).
They
heard
a
deep,
distant
roar
of
the
lion.
他们听到远处传来一声低沉的狮子的怒吼
4).
They
heard
a
rustle
in
the
bushes.
他们听到灌木丛中一阵沙沙声。
5).
The
gurgle
of
the
stream
soothed
me.
潺潺的流水声让我很放松。
6).I
heard
the
rumble
of
thunder
in
the
distance.
我听到远处的隆隆雷声。
拟声词作感叹词
BOOM,
CRASH!
The
wind
was
howling
outside
of
my
house.
We
were
having
a
terrible
thunderstorm.
I
was
very
scared.
外面狂风呼啸,我们正经历一场可怕的雷雨,轰隆声不断。
CRACK!
The
fragile
little
tree
was
broken
in
two
by
the
wild
howling
wind.
咔嚓一声,狂风把这棵脆弱的小树折成了两半。
PITTER-PATTTER!
I
was
disturbed
by
the
annoying
sound
of
the
rain.
淅淅沥沥的雨声扰乱了我的思绪。
TICK-TACK!
the
sound
of
the
old
clock
gave
me
the
creeps.
滴答滴答!这个老式落地钟的声音让我毛骨悚然
拟声词作动词:
1).
The
frozen
snow
crunched
under
our
feet.
冻结的雪在我们的脚下嘎吱作响。crunch
v&n.嘎吱作响;嘎吱声
2).
Birds
were
chattering/twittering
somewhere.
鸟儿在某处唧唧喳喳地叫着。
chatter/twitter/chirp
v&n.唧唧叫;叽喳叫
3).
Wild
animals
started
to
roar/howl.
野生动物开始咆哮。
roar/
howl
v&n咆哮
4).The
leaves
rustled
in
the
wind.
树叶在风中沙沙作响。
rustle
v&n
发出沙沙的摩擦声
5).
The
river
gurgled
and
burbled.
河水汩汩地流淌着。
gurgle
v&n
发出潺潺流水声;潺潺声
6).
The
thunder
was
rumbling
in
the
distance.
远处雷声隆隆。
rumble
v&n
发出隆隆声
;隆隆声
7).
The
fragile
little
tree
cracked
and
fell
in
the
wild
howling
wind.
这脆弱的小树啪地一下被狂风吹断了,倒在了地上crack
v&n.噼啪作响,折断
否定描述
To
tell
the
reader
what
is
not
there
is
an
effect
way
of
showing
how
unpleasant,
comfortless
a
place
is.
通过告知读者“没有”什么来凸显某地是多么的不舒适,令人不快。
例1:I
could
see
our
ship,
but
it
was
wrecked
and
there
was
nobody
near
it.All
my
friends
were
dead.
I
was
alive
but
in
a
strange
wild
country
with
no
food,
no
water,
and
no
gun.———《鲁滨逊漂流记》
这段文字通过四个否定nobody,
no
food,
no
water,
no
gun
来体现出鲁滨逊漂流在孤岛上的孤立无援。
例2:There
was
no
cushion,
no
carpet,
no
warmth,
no
light
and
no
comfort.
这句话通过四个no的排比来体现出这个地方什么都没有,让人十分不舒适。
例3:There
was
no
light,
no
twitter
of
the
birds
and
no
little
naughty
stars
in
the
sky.
Everything
was
dead
silent.
Not
a
single
sound
or
movement
could
be
heard.
高考链接--2019年浙江高考题
But
no
more
helicopers
came
and
it
was
getting
dark
again.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案:
此处可以运用否定描述的写作手法来体现Jane的孤立无援
如:Immediately,
an
absolute
darkness
ruled
the
forest.
Jane
was
stuck
in
the
middle
of
nowhere
with
no
food,
no
water,
no
light,
and
more
importantly,
no
warm
hugs
of
her
husband,
Tom.
Desperate
and
hopeless,
Jane
knelt
down,
tears
streaming
down
her
face.
真题练习:
It
was
summer,
and
my
dad
wanted
to
treat
me
to
a
vacation
like
never
before.
He
decided
to
take
me
on
a
trip
to
the
Wild
West.
We
took
a
plane
to
Albuquerque,
a
big
city
in
the
state
of
New
Mexico.
We
reached
Albuquerque
in
the
late
afternoon.
Uncle
Paul,
my
dad’s
friend,
picked
us
up
from
the
airport
and
drove
us
up
to
his
farm
in
Pecos.
His
wife
Tina
cooked
us
a
delicious
dinner
and
we
got
to
know
his
sons
Ryan
and
Kyle.
My
dad
and
I
spent
the
night
in
the
guestroom
of
the
farm
house
listening
to
the
frogs
and
water
rolling
down
the
river
nearby.
Very
early
in
the
morning,
Uncle
Paul
woke
us
up
to
have
breakfast.
"The
day
starts
at
dawn
on
my
farm,"
he
said.
After
breakfast,
I
went
to
help
Aunt
Tina
feed
the
chickens,
while
my
dad
went
with
Uncle
Paul
to
take
the
sheep
out
to
graze(吃草).
I
was
impressed
to
see
my
dad
and
Uncle
Paul
riding
horses.
They
looked
really
cool.
In
the
afternoon,
I
asked
Uncle
Paul
if
I
could
take
a
horse
ride,
and
he
said
yes,
as
long
as
my
dad
went
with
me.
I
wasn’t
going
to
take
a
horse
ride
by
myself
anyway.
So,
my
dad
and
I
put
on
our
new
cowboy
hats,
got
on
our
horses,
and
headed
slowly
towards
the
mountains.
"Don’t
be
late
for
supper,"
Uncle
Paul
cried,
"and
keep
to
the
track
so
that
you
don’t
get
lost!"
"OK!
"
my
dad
cried
back.
After
a
while
Uncle
Paul
and
his
farm
house
were
out
of
sight.
It
was
so
peaceful
and
quiet
and
the
colors
of
the
brown
rocks,
the
deep
green
pine
trees,
and
the
late
afternoon
sun
mixed
to
create
a
magic
scene.
It
looked
like
a
beautiful
woven(编织的)
blanket
spread
out
upon
the
ground
just
for
us.
Suddenly
a
little
rabbit
jumped
out
in
front
of
my
horse.
注意:
(1)所续写短文的词数应为l50左右;
(2)至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语:
(3)续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
(4)续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph
1:
Suddenly
a
little
rabbit
jumped
out
in
front
of
my
horse.
____________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph
2:
We
had
no
idea
where
we
were
and
it
was
getting
dark.
_____________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
【范文】One
possible
version:
Suddenly
a
little
rabbit
jumped
out
in
front
of
my
horse.
My
horse
turned
to
the
left
to
avoid
the
little
rabbit
as
I
held
on
tightly
and
tried
not
to
fall.
Then
my
dad
turned
around
and
shouted,
“Hold
on!”
All
of
a
sudden
the
horse
began
to
run.
My
dad
tried
to
keep
up
behind
us.
For
a
few
minutes
my
horse
slowed
down
to
a
trot
and
then
stopped
beside
a
river.
I
looked
around
and
realized
that
we
were
way
off
the
track.
We
had
no
idea
where
we
were
and
it
got
dark.
Luckily
the
stars
came
out
and
gave
us
a
little
light
when
we
were
looking
for
the
way
to
the
farm
house.
After
what
must
have
been
several
hours,
we
suddenly
heard
the
sound
of
sheep
in
the
distance.
My
dad
and
I
both
rode
our
horses
towards
the
sound
of
the
sheep.
As
we
got
closer
we
saw
Uncle
Paul
with
a
flashlight
waving
us
over.
What
a
night!
【解析】
读后续写要求考生首先要读懂已有信息,不仅能读懂字面含义,还要理清文章的脉络。续篇这篇短文时,考生要搞清楚故事的发展进程、前因后果、地理位置、人物思想情感的变化等。在此基础上,考生要顺着文章的思路,根据线索,发挥想象,对其后的情节进行合理预测,并用语言表达出来。
通过阅读所给文章可知,父亲带儿子去西部荒野的一个朋友家体验农场生活,见父亲和叔叔骑马,儿子也很想骑,于是亲身上马体验。
根据第一段所给首句Suddenly
a
little
rabbit
jumped
out
in
front
of
my
horse.这一句是故事发展的转折点,可从rabbit出现后带来的反应扩展开,可以写马的反应,也可以写人的反应,但要注意与第二段首句相呼应。
第二段首句是We
had
no
idea
where
we
were
and
it
was
getting
dark.这一句呼应前文Uncle
Paul的叮嘱——不要误吃晚饭,可从如何寻路返回农场去写。
续写时注意要使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语,我们要熟悉所给划线词语,恰当的时候加以运用。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为150左右;续写完成后要用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
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