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教育资源及组卷应用平
读后续写——动作描写之同义替换
导学案
[2020潮
新高考山东卷
续写步骤
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落
要素
开头语续写两段,使之构成
整的短文。步骤1精读文
全文需
没过去时态,讲述发生过的
st
ki
y
named
bernard
was
in
neer
meredith
and
her
children
johi
who
took
cal
ay
bef
(3)梳理线索,勾画文
步骤2根据
炼文章主题
uld
题骤
据段首
预测
家帮助B
家走
困境
步骤4
勾勒出整个叙事模
Climax
hildren
wan
Continuation
p
步骤5构思内容润色语
(1)每
纪教育网
已7世纪盲
教育资源及组卷应用平
a
What
would
Mrs.
Meredith
say
(2)采用常见的描写手法来增加细
corn(爆米花),and
★动词类:感激
apprec
类:兴奋
注意:续写词数应为150左右
★名词类:兴奋
excitement,thr:开
ness
(3)采用多样的语法结构及句式
2)His
smile
shone
like
diam
ere
步骤6誊写清
已7世纪盲
教育资源及组卷应用平
动作描写
即部
类表达“说
e继续说
explain解释
Wan警告
scream
抱
今
叹
笑着说
布
建议
emark评论说
动词类表达“看
看
发现
eout辨认出
看
凝视
怒目而视
词类表达“走
冲出房间
溲
步行穿过马路
漫步到森林
纪教育网
已7世纪盲
教育资源及组卷应用平
k/back
off
后退
踮着脚走
蹒
词类表达
笑
嘲笑
tease取笑
笑颜开
类表
sob抽泣
肢体类相关的表达
鼓掌欢
皱着眉头看着某人
某人鞠躬
头表示赞同
抓住
手
挥手
L
档
得分
求
创造了新颖
容,富有逻
续写完整,与原文情
度
②使用了多样
的词汇和语法结构,表达流
第七档
22-25分
错误很
全不影响理解
然有效
落
的衔接手段
全文结构清晰,前后呼应,意义连
内容,比较有逻辑性
续写比较完整,与原文情境融洽度较高
使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构
第六档
分
较流畅
别错误,但不影响理解
较有效地使用了语句间的衔接手段,全文结构
意
连贯
纪教育网
已7世纪盲
教育资源及组卷应用平
创造了基本合理的内容,有一定的逻辑性,续写
基本完整,与原文情境相关
了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达方
第五档
分
够多样性,表达有些许错
基本不影响理解
使用了语句间的衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰
意义比较连
创造了基本完整的故事内容,但有的情节不够
或
不
原文情境基本相关
使用了简单
和语法结构,有部分语言错误
第四档
11-14分
不恰当之处,个别部分影响理解
衔接的意识,全文结构基本清
基本连贯
内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题
不够完整
文有一定程度的脱节
所用的词汇有限,语法结构单调,错误较多且比
第
分
较低级,影响理解
未能有效地使用语句间的衔接手段,全文结构
够清晰,意义欠
①内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题,或有部分内容抄
文,续写不完整,与原文情境基本脱
②所使用的词汇非常有限,语法
错误
第
1-5分
多
影响理解
乎没有使用语句间的衔接手段,全文结构不清
晰,意义不连
未作答:所写内容太少或
以致无法评判
第一
所写内容全部抄自原文或与题
全不相
omewo
纪教育网中小学教育资源及组卷应用平台
读后续写--动作描写之同义替换
教学设计
1、
基本信息
课型：Reading
&
Writing
主题：读后续写--动作描写之同义替换
教材：2020年新高考山东卷读后续写
2、
学情分析
高三（
）班是文科班，学生单词基础薄弱。本学期以来，学生能够在课后主动进行阅读词汇的复习背诵，也接触了读后续写的材料分析，能从阅读材料中分析故事的后续思路及人物的情感线索。但是，在续写成文时却出现困难，描写用词全凭对单词的片面理解。读后续写主要涉及动作描写、情感描写、对话描写以及环境描写。四种描写中，动作描写占比重最大，对本班学生来说难度最高。学生在动作描写过程中出现的一个问题是经常用通用、概括性词汇表达动作，描写达不到丰富准确。本节课正是对这个难点的教学作出尝试。
3、
文本分析
本节课选用2020年新高考山东卷的读后续写，阅读材料是记叙文，讲述在经济衰退时人们互相帮助共渡难关的故事。第一、二段介绍故事背景，三到八段为Meredith太太和孩子们想要帮助小男孩Bernard。续写段落主要围绕孩子们想出的主意以及如何帮助进行描写。续写段一涉及的动作描写有：Meredith太太对于John的主意会说的话；孩子们爆米花的生意做的准备。续写段二涉及的动作描写有：孩子们怎么卖爆米花；Bernard及Meredith一家的感受；孩子们从中学到的生活哲理等。续写部分涉及较多动作描写情节，考查学生是否能运用多样且恰当的词汇进行写作，这是本节课的重点。
4、
教学目标
本节课后，学生将能够：
1.
在动作描写过程中用丰富的同义词汇代替通用、概括性词汇，准确表达。
2.
通过思考分析常用动词同义词的区别，理解掌握动词同义替换的使用策略，并运用在写作中。
3.
在续写训练中学习故事人物克服困难、助人为乐的精神。
4.
在小组合作中完成写作任务，对作文进行评价。
5、
教学重难点
重点难点：动作描写中动词同义词的理解和运用
6、
教学过程
Activities
Intentions
Interactive
Pattern
Step
I
Lead-in
Review
the
verbs
with
the
help
of
the
mind
map.
Ask
one
student
to
read
the
verbs,
then
the
rest
repeat.
Recall
what
have
been
learned
last
period.
Class
Work
Step
II
Differences
in
Synonyms
Students
tell
the
differences
in
four
groups
of
verbs,
then
complete
the
sentences:
hug
and
embrace;
hit,
knock,
and
slap;drag,
draw
and
pull;catch,
grab,
hold
Learn
to
analyze
the
different
usages
of
synonyms.
Individual
Work
Step
III
Polish
Your
Writing
In
groups,
Ss
discuss
and
find
out
a
replacement
of
the
verbs
to
make
their
peer’s
story
a
better
version.After
discussion,
invite
six
students
to
present
the
polished
version
in
front
of
the
class.
Learn
to
think
creatively
by
polishing
the
action
description.Get
familiar
with
the
usage
of
synonyms
through
replacement.
Group
Work
Step
IV
Peer
Assessment
Teacher
presents
the
assessment
criteria.
Six
groups
exchange
the
polished
writing
with
one
another.
Then
discuss
whether
the
replacements
specify
the
meaning
of
the
sentences,
and
give
the
writing
a
score.After
discussion,
invite
six
students
to
present
the
score.
Get
familiar
with
and
apply
the
assessment
criteria
for
continuation
writing
in
NMET.
Group
Work
Step
V
Summary
Lead
Ss
to
summarize
the
important
points
of
this
lesson.
Review
the
main
points
of
the
lesson.
Group
Work
Step
VI
Homework
Ss
revise
and
polish
their
story
for
the
third
time.
Revising
as
a
consolidation.
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读后续写--
动作描写之同义替换
北师大版
高三年级下
读后续写--
动作描写之同义替换
授课人:
Lead-in
01
Lead-in
Review
the
vocabularies
before
you
start.
动词类表达“说”
say
说
tell
告诉
shout
大声叫
add
补充说
continue
继续说
explain
解释
comfort
安慰
warn
警告
remind
提醒
scream
尖叫
whisper
耳语
complain
抱怨
order
命令
sigh
叹息
laugh
笑着说
declare/announce
宣布
suggest
建议
remark
评论说
Lead-in
Lead-in
动词类表达“看”
see/look
at/watch看
notice/observe/find
out
发现
make
out
辨认出
look
around
环顾四周
look
up
向上看
look
down
向下看
stare
at
凝视
glance
at
瞥了一眼
glance
around/round
the
room
扫视房间
glare
at
怒目而视
recognize
认出
spot
注意到
Lead-in
动词类表达“走”
dash/rush
冲
rush
out
of
the
room
冲出房间
walk/wander/stroll
漫步
walk
across
street
步行穿过马路
wander
into
the
woods
漫步到森林里
stroll
about/around
闲逛
step
back/back
off
后退
tiptoe
踮着脚走
stagger
蹒跚
jump
to
one's
feet
一跃而起
动词类表达“笑”
smile/laugh
笑
laugh
at
嘲笑
tease
取笑
light
up
喜笑颜开
动词类表达“哭”
be
in
tears/cry/weep
哭泣
sob
抽泣
burst
into
tears/burst
out
crying
放声大哭
Lead-in
其它与肢体类相关的表达
applaud
鼓掌欢迎
shrug
one's
shoulders
耸肩
frown
at
sb.
皱着眉头看着某人
bow
to
sb.
向某人鞠躬
nod
in
agreement
点头表示赞同
grasp/hold
one's
hand
抓住某人的手
point
to
sb.
指向某人
wave
one's
hand
挥手
Lead-in
Lead-in
Why
should
we
use
synonyms
in
our
writing:
He
said
a
thank
you
and
ran
home
all
the
way.
他说了一声谢谢，然后一路跑回家。
He
murmured
a
thank
you
and
ran
home
all
the
way.
他低声道谢，然后一路跑回家。
Notice
the
difference
between
the
two
sentences!
Synonyms
specify
meanings!
Differences
in
Synonyms
.
Hug
or
embrace?
hug
to
put
your
arms
around
sb.
or
sth.
embrace
to
put
your
arms
around
sb.
as
a
sign
of
love
or
friendship
hug
/embrace
hug
Tell
the
difference
in
the
following
verbs
:
.
The
girl
in
red
________
the
girl
in
blue.
is
hitting
The
girl
__________
her
friend
in
the
face.
The
man____________
____________the
door.
is
slapping
is
knocking/
tapping
on
Tell
the
difference
in
the
following
verbs
:
Hit,
knock,
slap
.
Police
__________away
a
demonstrator
during
street
disturbances.
He
_______
the
door
and
rushed
out.
He
_________
the
curtains
apart
and
let
the
sunlight
in.
drag,
draw,
pull
drag指“拖”、“拉”笨重的东西，含“费力和用劲”之意;
pull普通用语;
draw通常指拖或拉向自己，多指拖拉较轻的物体，不太费力，有持续平稳地拉。
dragged
pulled
drew
Tell
the
difference
in
the
following
verbs
:
.
catch
抓住，握住（通常catch
hold
of）；捉住跑动或隐藏中的人或物，一般指活捉。
grab指粗暴而紧紧地抓住(同seize）；（试图）抓住，夺得。
hold
（常用词）指抓住、握住、抱住；捂住，按住（受伤的身体部位）。
He
_________
hold
of
her
arm
as
she
tried
to
push
him
past.
The
boy
__________
at
the
branch,
missed,
and
fell.
The
winning
captain
________
the
trophy
in
the
air.
caught
grabbed
held
Tell
the
difference
in
the
following
verbs
:
catch,
grab,
hold
Polish
Your
Writing
03
Example
In
groups,
find
out
a
synonym
of
the
verbs
to
make
your
peer’s
story
a
better
version.
rushed
Peer
Assessment
04
Exchange
the
polished
writing
with
the
other
group.
Then
give
it
a
score.
Group
1
Group
2
Group
3
Group
4
左同学
Group
5
Group
6
汪同学
柯同学
陈同学
蔡同学
陈同学
Summary
1
Use
synonyms
in
your
continuation
writing.
The
more
specific,
the
better.
2
3
动作描写
Try
more
ways
to
make
your
action
description
accurate:
e.g.
non-finite
verbs,
with
phrase.
Homework
Revise
and
polish
your
story
for
the
third
time.
Thank
you.
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读后续写——动作描写之同义替换
导学案
[2020·新高考山东卷]
[续写步骤]
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。The
Meredith
family
lived
in
a
small
community.
As
the
economy
was
in
decline,
some
people
in
the
town
had
lost
their
jobs.
Many
of
their
families
were
struggling
to
make
ends
meet.
People
were
trying
to
help
each
other
meet
the
challenges.Mrs.Meredith
was
a
most
kind
and
thoughtful
woman.
She
spent
a
great
deal
of
time
visiting
the
poor.
She
knew
they
had
problems,
and
they
needed
all
kinds
of
help.
When
she
had
time,
she
would
bring
food
and
medicine
to
them.One
morning
she
told
her
children
about
a
family
she
had
visited
the
day
before.
There
was
a
man
sick
in
bed,
his
wife,
who
took
care
of
him
and
could
not
go
out
to
work,
and
their
little
boy.
The
little
boy—his
name
was
Bernard—had
interested
her
very
much.“I
wish
you
could
see
him，”
she
said
to
her
own
children,
John,
Harry，and
Clara.“He
is
such
a
help
to
his
mother.
He
wants
very
much
to
earn
some
money,
but
I
don't
see
what
he
can
do.”After
their
mother
left
the
room,
the
children
sat
thinking
about
Bernard.“I
wish
we
could
help
him
to
earn
money，”said
Clara.“His
family
is
suffering
so
much.”“So
do
I，”said
Harry.“We
really
should
do
something
to
assist
them.”For
some
moments,
John
said
nothing,
but,
suddenly,
he
sprang
to
his
feet
and
cried，“I
have
a
great
idea!
I
have
a
solution
that
we
can
all
help
accomplish
(完成)．”The
other
children
also
jumped
up
all
attention.
When
John
had
an
idea,
it
was
sure
to
be
a
good
one.“I
tell
you
what
we
can
do，”
said
John.“You
know
that
big
box
of
corn
Uncle
John
sent
us?
Well,
we
can
make
popcorn
(爆米花),
and
put
it
into
paper
bags,
and
Bernard
can
take
it
around
to
the
houses
and
sell
it.”注意：续写词数应为150左右。When
Mrs.
Meredith
heard
of
John’s
idea,
she
thought
it
was
a
good
one,
too.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________With
everything
ready,
Bernard
started
out
on
his
new
business.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
步骤1 精读文章 获取记叙文六要素(1)全文需用一般过去时态，讲述发生过的事情。(2)when：the
economy
was
in
declinewhere：a
small
communitywho：Mrs.
Meredith，her
children
John,
Harry
and
Clara;
Bernard
and
his
mom
and
dadwhat：A
boy
named
Bernard
was
in
need；Mrs.
Meredith
and
her
children
John,
Harry,
Clara
wanted
to
help.why：A
man
(Bernard's
dad)
was
sick
in
bed；his
wife,
who
took
care
of
him
could
not
go
out
to
work.how：They
decided
to
make
popcorn,
and
put
it
into
paper
bags.
Bernard
could
take
it
around
to
the
houses
and
sell
it.(3)梳理线索，勾画文章情节。步骤2 根据信息 提炼文章主题主题：help
and
kindness步骤3 根据段首句 做出合理预测预测：Meredith一家帮助
Bernard一家走出困境步骤4 完整勾勒出整个叙事模型步骤5 构思内容 润色语言(1)每个段落分三个层次构思(2)采用常见的描写手法来增加细节：★动词类：感激appreciate★形容词类：兴奋的
excited,
thrilled；开心的
happy,
joyful,
delighted；感激的
grateful；满足的
satisfied,
content★名词类：兴奋
excitement,
thrill；开心
happiness,
joy,
delight；感恩
gratitude,
a
mixture
of
excitement
and
happiness(3)采用多样的语法结构及句式：①Hearing
the
news,
he
was
exceedingly
grateful.②His
smile
shone
like
diamond.③Where
there
is
a
will,
there
is
a
way.④Nothing
is
impossible
to
a
willing
heart.⑤Love
may
have
many
ways,
but
it
always
warms
those
in
dark.⑥He
stood
there
with
a
lump
in
his
throat
and
tried
to
fight
back
tears.步骤6 誊写清晰 字迹工整
I.
Review
the
vocabulary:
Review
the
verbs
with
the
help
of
the
mind
map.
Then
read
aloud.
a.
动词类表达“说”
say
说
tell
告诉
shout
大声叫
add
补充说
continue
继续说
explain
解释
comfort
安慰
warn
警告
remind
提醒
scream
尖叫
whisper
耳语
complain
抱怨
order
命令
sigh
叹息
laugh
笑着说
declare/announce
宣布
suggest
建议
remark
评论说
howl
嚎叫
b.
动词类表达“看”
see/look
at/watch看
notice/observe/find
out
发现
make
out
辨认出
look
around
环顾四周
look
up
向上看
look
down
向下看
stare
at
凝视
glance
at
瞥了一眼
glance
around/round
the
room
扫视房间
glare
at
怒目而视
recognize
认出
spot
注意到
c.
动词类表达“走”
dash/rush
冲
rush
out
of
the
room
冲出房间
walk/wander/stroll
漫步
walk
across
street
步行穿过马路
wander
into
the
woods
漫步到森林里
stroll
about/around
闲逛
step
back/back
off
后退
tiptoe
踮着脚走
stagger
蹒跚
jump
to
one's
feet
一跃而起
d.
动词类表达“笑”
smile/laugh
笑
laugh
at
嘲笑
tease
取笑
light
up
喜笑颜开
e.
动词类表达“哭”
be
in
tears/cry/weep
哭泣
sob
抽泣
burst
into
tears/burst
out
crying
放声大哭
f.
其它与肢体类相关的表达
applaud
鼓掌欢迎
shrug
one's
shoulders
耸肩
frown
at
sb.
皱着眉头看着某人
bow
to
sb.
向某人鞠躬
nod
in
agreement
点头表示赞同
grasp/hold
one's
hand
抓住某人的手
point
to
sb.
指向某人
wave
one's
hand
挥手
II.
Peer
Review:
Exchange
the
polished
writing
with
the
other
group.
Then
give
it
a
score.
Assessment
Criteria
档次
得分
要求
第七档
22－25分
①创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容，富有逻辑性，续写完整，与原文情境融洽度高；②使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达流畅，语言错误很少，且完全不影响理解；③自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间的衔接手段，全文结构清晰，前后呼应，意义连贯
第六档
18－21分
①创造了比较丰富、合理的内容，比较有逻辑性，续写比较完整，与原文情境融洽度较高；②使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达比较流畅，有个别错误，但不影响理解；③比较有效地使用了语句间的衔接手段，全文结构比较清晰，意义比较连贯
第五档
15－17分
①创造了基本合理的内容，有一定的逻辑性，续写基本完整，与原文情境相关；②使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达方式不够多样性，表达有些许错误，但基本不影响理解；③使用了语句间的衔接手段，全文结构比较清晰，意义比较连贯
第四档
11－14分
①创造了基本完整的故事内容，但有的情节不够合理或逻辑性不强，与原文情境基本相关；②使用了简单的词汇和语法结构，有部分语言错误和不恰当之处，个别部分影响理解；③尚有语句衔接的意识，全文结构基本清晰，意义基本连贯
第三档
6－10分
①内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题，续写不够完整，与原文有一定程度的脱节；②所用的词汇有限，语法结构单调，错误较多且比较低级，影响理解；③未能有效地使用语句间的衔接手段，全文结构不够清晰，意义欠连贯
第二档
1－5分
①内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题，或有部分内容抄自原文，续写不完整，与原文情境基本脱节；②所使用的词汇非常有限，语法结构单调，错误极多，严重影响理解；③几乎没有使用语句间的衔接手段，全文结构不清晰，意义不连贯
第一档
0分
未作答；所写内容太少或无法看清以致无法评判；所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要求完全不相关
III.
Homework：Revise
and
polish
your
story
for
the
third
time.
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