中考英语书面表达解题分析

(共22张PPT)
中考英语书面表达范例分析
中考英语书面表达复习之一
【2011北京】
根据中文和英文提示，写一封意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的回信。信的开头和结尾已给出，其词数不计入所完成的回信内。请不要写出你的校名和姓名。
成长中每个人都要面对烦恼，并解决问题。假设你叫刘明，是美国中学生艾丽的朋友，你收到了她的电子邮件，请给她回复，回答她的问题，提出你的建议，并就此事谈谈你的看法。（见同步听力与阅读）
Hi! Liu Ming,
I’m so sad. Angela is a close friend of mine. This morning she wanted to borrow some money from me. If I lend her the money, I’m afraid she won’t pay me back. I don’t know what to do. Do you have the same problem I need your help.I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours,Alice
Hi! Alice,
I’m glad to hear from__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I hope what I said can help you.
Yours, Liu Ming
解题要点
1. 回答她的问题
2. 提出建议
3. 对于此事谈谈你的看法
来信内容简要说明：
　　Alice表示自己的好友Angela问自己借钱，但自己不知是否该借给她，担心对方可能不能归还。问刘明是否遇到同样的问题？请刘明给自己一些建议，期待回信。
解题思路
　牢记"结构、要点、逻辑、语法、亮点"五大要素，审题一定要仔细，看准题目中的要点为：回答她的问题；提出建议；对于此事谈谈你的看法。
　1. 结构、要点
　　文章第一部分，首先要做的就是在来信中找问题，很明显，只有一个问句" Do you have the same problem " ，所以作文中应该开门见山：I have the same problem. / I have never met things like this. 而且，来信的第一句话为" I'm so sad."， 所以第一部分内容可以表示安慰 " Don't worry" 或者表示理解对方的感受 "I can understand you."
　文章第二部分，根据第二个要点，提出建议。可能涉及到如下几种建议，如：
　　If it's not a lot of money, you can lend it to her.（如果钱不多的话，可以借给她）
　　If she wants to borrow a lot of money from you, you'd better suggest her to ask her parents for help. （如果她想要借很多钱的话，你最好建议她去问她的父母寻求帮助）
　　If you decide to help her, then trust her, because she is your close friend.（如果你决定把钱借给她的话，就要信任她，因为她是你的好朋友。）
　文章第三部分，根据第三个要点，谈谈自己的感受，其实，也就是回答"why"，即：为什么要给出如上建议的原因。如：
　　Friendship is more important than money, if your close friend needs help, you are supposed to give him / her a hand and trust him / her. （友谊和信任比金钱更重要，如果你的好朋友需要帮助，你应该帮助他/她，并且给予信任。）
　　We students don't have jobs to earn money but depend on our parents, when we need some money, it's always a better choice to ask our parents for help instead of turn to our friends. Meanwhile, we should be honest to our parents. （我们学生没有工作，不挣钱，需要依赖我们的父母。当我们需要用钱的时候，问父母要总比问同学借要好。同时，我们应该对父母要保持诚实）
　
　如果同学们能够找全题目要点，并且按照要点所给顺序写下来，结构清晰，那么逻辑应该是通顺的。因为全文基本是按照如下思路：现身说法，对于对方所遇到的问题表示理解 --- 提出建议 --- 说明感受，即说明所提建议的原因。其中，可以使用大量的逻辑连词和状语从句表示因果、条件、转折等逻辑关系。
2.逻辑
　　根据题目要求，回信文体形式大体为说明文，议论参半，所以下笔前首先确定文章时态大体为一般现在时态。由于文章话题属于生活化细节问题，所以文章内容一般不涉及难度过大的词或句子，只要句式灵活多变，用词准确、丰富，逻辑通顺，语法完全正确，多用词组，向批卷老师呈现出扎实的语法功底和丰富的词汇量，也就是文章的亮点所在。
　3. 语法、亮点
Hi! Alice,
I’m glad to hear from you. Yes, I sometimes have the same problem.
I think if she really needs the money, you’d better lend it to her. You don’t need to worry too much. She’ll probably pay you back when she has money. If you don’t lend her the money, I’m afraid you may lose the friend.
I think everyone may have trouble in life and we should help each other. So when my friends need money, I will try my best to help them. Maybe I’ll get it back, or maybe I won’t.
I hope what I said can help you.
Yours,
Liu Ming
One possible version:
【2011上海】IX Writing(作文) 共18分
106. Write at least 60 words about the topic “I’m member of _____.”
(以”我是``````的一员”为题写一篇不少于60个词的短文,标点符合不占格子”)
提示:你可以作为任意兴趣小组或者社团的人员,或者作为家庭,班级,社区的一员,写出你的经历,感受等.
Use the following points as a reference.
Are you glad to be a member of ``````
What do you do in it
How do you feel as such a member
写作思路
一、审题
本文要求写一篇介绍自己作为某兴趣小组或某社团成员的文章，要求学生写出自己的经历以及感受等。
二、列举写作要点
1. have been a member of singing and dancing club for +时间；
2. I’m an actor in the this club.
3. Though I am very tired, I like to sing and dance every day.
三、列出关键短语和句型
be a member of , an actor, singing and dacing, feel very happy,
I’m a Member of the Singing and Dancing Club.
Hello, everyone! I’m very glad to be a member of the Singing and Dancing Club. I have been in this club for 2 years. I’m an actor in the club. I like singing and dancing very much. I sing and dance with my classmates at weekends. Though I am very tired, I like to sing and dance every day. It makes me feel very happy.
【范文】
A Possible Version：
泰州市中考书面表达阅卷评分标准
评分标准：
1．本题总分为20分，按5个档次给分。
2．评分时先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属的档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。
3．词数少于100从总分中减去1分。
4．书写潦草，卷面不整洁以致影响交际，从总分中减去1分。
5．各档次的给分范围和要求:
2) 第四档（好）（13—16分） 要点基本齐全，语言较流畅，应用了较丰富的语言结构和词汇，句子较通顺，表达较清楚，但有少量错误。有少量语法或拼写错误。（有3 -4处错误）
1)第五档（很好）（17—20分）要点齐全，语言流畅，书写规范、工整，应用了较丰富的语言结构和词汇， 用词准确、语法正确、句子通顺、行文连贯、表达清楚，具有较强的语言运用能力，基本无语法或拼写错误。（有1-2处错误）
4) 第二档（较差）（5—8分）只包含了少数要点，语言不规范，句子无条理，行文不连贯，语言错误严重，影响理解。
5) 第一档（差）（1－4分） 仅写出1－2个要点，只写出与要求的内容相关的一些信息词语，语言错误多。
3) 第三档（适当）（9—12分）内容包含了多数要点，语言表达过于简单，句子不够通顺，有部分语言错误，基本上不影响总体理解。
案例分析
例题：你班进行了一次综合实践活动。通过活动，同学们收获很大，尤其是李华同学进步最快。请你根据表格内容写一篇关于李华的短文。词数80个左右，文章开头已给出，不计入总词数。
过去的表现 现在的表现
经常与别人吵架 与别人相处融洽
乱扔垃圾 爱护环境
沉溺于电脑游戏 积极参加各种活动
三类一般作文 一类优秀作文
We are very glad that Li hua has made great progress. Before the activity, he often quarreled with other students, and never said sorry to others. He always threw litter in the classroom. Sometimes, he played computer games for a very long time. But now, he can make good friends with others. Also, he is very active in taking part in a lot of activities, such as playing basketball, visiting the museums, go swimming…... We all like him very much. We are very glad that Li Hua has made great progress. But he used to be impolite and even often quarreled with others. He threw litter about and made our classroom dirty. After class, he usually lost himself in playing computer games. After this activity, Li Hua has changed a lot. He gets on well with others and is ready to help them. He also takes good care of the environment. He takes an active part in all kinds of activities, too. We are all glad of his progress.
范文比对
三类一般作文
We are very glad that Li hua has made great progress. Before the activity, he often quarreled with other students, and never said sorry to others. He always threw litter in the classroom. Sometimes, he played computer games for a very long time. But now, he can make good friends with others. Also, he is very active in taking part in a lot of activities, such as playing basketball, visiting the museums, go swimming…... We all like him very much.
范文朗读对比
一类优秀作文
We are very glad that Li Hua has made great progress. But he used to be impolite and even often quarreled with others. He threw litter about and made our classroom dirty. After class, he usually lost himself in playing computer games. After this activity, Li Hua has changed a lot. He gets on well with others and is ready to help them. He also takes good care of the environment. He takes an active part in all kinds of activities, too. We are all glad of his progress.
Thank You!